Sept. 22, 2016

Letters............................ 3 Opinion/Streetalk............ 5 Sheila.Leslie.................... 6 Brendan.Trainor.............. 7 News.............................. 8 Elections........................ 11 Feature......................... 13 Arts&Culture................ 18 Art.of.the.State............ 20

Foodfinds..................... 22 Film.............................. 24 Musicbeat.....................27 Nightclubs/Casinos........29 This.Week.................... 33 Advice.Goddess........... 34 Free.Will.Astrology....... 38 15.Minutes.....................39 Bruce.Van.Dyke............39

Stop making cents How the sales tax became a monster

RENo’s NEws & ENtERtaiNmENt wEEkly

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*SOURCES: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), Parkinson’s Disease Foundation

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SEPTEMBER 22, 2016 | Vol. 22, ISSuE 32

Thin skin Welcome to this week’s Reno News & Review.

Man, people around this town can be so thin-skinned. It’s a little silly how every time some comedian cracks a joke about Reno or mispronounces “Nevada,” local folks take to social media and start decrying said comedian—whether it’s David Sedaris, Seth Meyers, the freaking Muppets or, most recently, Amy Schumer. Apparently she called the city a dump.

Who cares? But locals took to social networks and got all defensive, calling her names, saying she isn’t even funny, whatever.

Local media got into the defensive act too. The Reno GazetteJournal, for example, ran a piece headlined “What Amy Schumer got wrong about Reno, Nevada,” that corrected her pronunciation and also asked out her out on a date (what it euphemistically called a “personal tour to show her its notso-dumpy features”—gross).

I think the only embarrassing thing about living in Reno is how defensive people get about living in Reno. Haters gonna hate, folks.

If you love a place, why should you care what people who have never spent any real time here think about it? I’ve said I hate Fresno, but screw me, I’ve only ever been there once, so what the heck do I know?

Some of us like that this city’s greatness is a secret. Reno residents are like Illuminati. And if anything, being the butt of jokes is a source of immunity and therefore strength. We can’t be faded. And lowered expectations are great for artists and athletes. You come to Reno, and you won’t even know what hits you.

Speaking of athletes and haters who hate, I never would have expected that a column that basically said “let’s support the local football hero” would incur the wrath of folks who use the word “liberal” as an insult, but it sure has.

But just to reiterate: Go, Kap, go!

—Brad Bynum bradb@ ne ws r ev i ew . com

The Misfits Re “Misfits” (Editor’s note, Aug. 25): At the very beginning of The Misfits, the first glimpse of Reno is the Reno Realty building at 117 W. Liberty St. That year in that tiny building were three businesses—Reno Realty, First Nevada Mortgage Co., and Reno Insurance Co. The next building, 115, was vacant. These were torn down the week of September 21, 2015. Becasue of the location, when Eli Wallach’s tow truck turns into the driveway between the rooming house where Marilyn Monroe was staying and the one where Thelma Ritter was staying, the back of what is now Sundance Books and Music should be visible right then.

Marilyn’s house was the Nevadan Apts., and that year Mona Lisa lived in No. 6 and her neighbor in No. 5 was Toonie Dean. What a wonderful first name for a musical town and her neighbor’s name was not bad for an arty town. That summer, having just turned 19, Ann Margret had an eight week run at the Riverside Hotel. From there, she went on to become a real superstar.

Richard Lang Reno Editor’s note: Thank you for the recollections. Those who grew up on tales of Monroe staying at the Mapes may disbelieve your account of her at the Nevadan, so we offer this: Years ago, before our content began going online, we reported, on the strength of a local diary, that a Nevada official helped locate a hideaway apartment for Monroe where she could stay and relax during off hours.

As for Ann Margret, she was in Reno as the singer in a group called the Suttletones, which also played the Commercial Hotel in Elko.

Toward the end of their Reno engagement, on August 26, 1960, the entertainment section of the Nevada State Journal and Reno Evening Gazette reported, “New to Reno are the Suttletones, a youthful quartet with a lot of music know-how. They’ll be around town only a few days longer, since each of the group is due to return to Northwestern University for the fall semester in a short time. The Suttletones include Dave Zehring, Ring Warner, Scott Smith and pretty Ann-Margaret. In addition to youthful enthusiasm, their material is new and fresh, and each is a skilled performer.” —Dennis Myers

to start paying taxes? The resulting local recession will make the Great Recession look like “the good old days.”

Guy Pelham Reno

Warning letter Re “Warning label” (Notes from a Neon Babylon, Sept 1): I love that you gave a not-totally-positive assessment of [marijuana] edibles or any type weed for that matter. Most of the smokers I know have a solemn oath to never even think the possibility that there is any small negative in relation to them. It’s to stand bathed in the holy light.

Laurie Sherrill longview, Wash.

Clarification Re “Pot tale of the week” (Upfront, Sept. 15): We quoted a Las Vegas Review Journal report: “Pat Hickey, Nevada coordinator for Smart Approaches to Marijuana … said legalizing the drug would break legal tradition; America, he said, has never legalized marijuana.”

Former legislator Hickey says he is quite certain he never made the comment because it does not reflect his views. He adds, “It’s such an obtuse argument. It’s not something, true or false, that does anything to persuade one way or the other in the current legalization argument.”

ERIK HollAND

Warning letter Why is no one calling Question W-1 the Tesla Tax? It rolls nicely off the tongue and clearly indicates how the money raised will be used. I know the gigafactory is not in Washoe County but Washoe is where the impact will primarily fall.

As a matter of interest, Samsung has started construction of its own battery gigafactory in Hungary. Rumor has it the Samsung battery has twice the life expectancy of the Panasonic/Tesla battery. Does anyone still believe Tesla will still be in Northern Nevada in 10 years Jessica Santina, Todd South, Luka Starmer, Brendan Trainor, Bruce Van Dyke, Allison Young Our Mission: To publish great newspapers that are successful and enduring. To create a quality work environment that encourages employees to grow professionally while respecting personal welfare.

To have a positive impact on our communities and make them better places to live.

Editor Brad Bynum News Editor Dennis Myers Special Projects Editor Jeri Chadwell-Singley Arts Editor Kris Vagner Calendar Editor Kelley Lang Contributors Amy Alkon, Bob Grimm, Anna Hart, Ashley Hennefer, Shelia Leslie, Eric Marks,

Design Manager Lindsay Trop Art Directors Brian Breneman, Margaret Larkin Marketing/Publications Manager Serene Lusano Marketing/Publications Designer Sarah Hansel Production Coordinator Skyler Smith Designer Kyle Shine Senior Advertising Consultants Gina Odegard, Bev Savage Advertising Consultant Emily Litt

Distribution Director Greg Erwin Distribution Manager/Operations Coordinator Kelly Miller Distribution Assistant and Driver Denise Cairns Distribution Drivers Tracy Breeden, Alex Barskyy, Bob Christensen, Camilla Downs, Debbie Frenzi, Jennifer Gangestad, Vicki Jewell, Patrick L’Angelle, Marty Lane, Marty Troye, Gary White President/CEO Jeff VonKaenel Director of Nuts & Bolts Deborah Redmond Marketing/Promotions/Facilities Manager Will Niespodzinski Executive Coordinator Jessica Takehar Project Coordinator Natasha VonKaenel Director of People & Culture David Stogner

Director of Dollars & Sense Nicole Jackson Payroll/AP Wizard Miranda Dargitz Accounts Receivable Specialist Kortnee Angel Sweetdeals Coordinator Courtney DeShields Nuts & Bolts Ninja Christina Wukmir Senior Support Tech Joe Kakacek Developer John Bisignano, Jonathan Schultz System Support Specialist Kalin Jenkins N&R Publications Editor Michelle Carl N&R Publications Associate Editor Kate Gonzales N&R Publications Writer Anne Stokes

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by JERI CHADWELL-SINGLEY

Favorite motorcycle ride? asKEd aT PJ & co. REsTauRanT, 1590 s. WELLs avE. Rob TuffoRd Sheriff’s office work supervisor

One of the best rides we went on was with another couple. We went up to Seattle. Spent a week up there, didn’t we? … We did the Seattle tour stuff and then went over to an uncle’s house, and he did a pig roast. Then me and her rode back down the coast. That was a great ride.

Jan TuffoRd Telecommunications engineer

I think my favorite is when we do what they call the “lighthouse run.” And you go up to Coos Bay, Oregon. You ride up and down the coast, looking at all of the lighthouses. It’s a really cool ride.

And, fortunately, they moved it from October to June, so we don’t get quite as much rain.

K aThi ERicKson Restaurant owner

The Trump/Heck ticket With people like Joe Heck and Donald Trump in politics, the word despicable is starting to lose all meaning. Run a search for the name Donald Trump together with the word despicable and you get 1,090,000 hits. We were actually surprised there were so few. Run the search using Joe Heck and the word despicable and you get 4,110.

For anyone who knew Heck when he was younger, this is cause for sadness. A decent, moderate Republican in the Nevada Legislature who served in Iraq, he was admired in both parties. But under today’s election laws, Republicans cannot raise the kind of money needed to run for federal offices without getting their views in line with groups like the Club for Growth, American Crossroads, National Defense PAC. So Heck dashed right for his House runs, shedding his moderation and deportment.

Still, even for Heck II, his feeble lassitude when his supporters are willing to wield rape as a political weapon, accusing Catherine Cortez Masto of being uninformed about untested county rape kits, is an affront to Nevadans.

It is perhaps too much to expect that the Heck-supporting Senate Leadership Fund, headquartered in Warrenton, Virginia, would know anything about Nevada’s highly decentralized criminal justice system. If so, its officers might know that a Nevada attorney general has very little to do with offenses like rape. The AG doesn’t prosecute except in limited cases involving state government employees or prison inmates. Why would she know about rape kits? But those are facts and nuances, and Heck and his cronies are all about pushing emotional buttons. We know the rape spots are independent, but that is getting to be a

weak excuse, like the piano player in a cathouse saying he doesn’t know what’s going on upstairs.

Then there is Trump. For the second time in this campaign, he has subtly suggested that someone kill Hillary Clinton. Oh, we know—that is putting it pretty raw.

But we’re not willing to couch this hoodlum’s dangerous words in sugar. Whatever one can say of Hillary Clinton— and we could say a lot—she and her supporters keep trying to get the campaign onto an issues track and into restrained language and behavior. Trump and his co-conspirators have so little self-control that, where Heck embarrasses Nevada, Trump embarrasses the United States of America.

There are weak minds in this society that, as we have seen too many times in the past, take suggestions seriously.

When someone tried to kill a Nevada judge in 2006, we reported on how much online positive reinforcement was available to the attempted killer from men’s rights supporters who poured their venom about the judge online (“Attack on Weller ignites web hatred,” RN&R, June 15, 2006). Author Robert Donovan once wrote, “Think of the vitriol Booth must have heard poured upon Lincoln’s name year after year by the Copperheads in the North! … Let us remember the harsh attacks on John F. Kennedy in the South, even in Dallas.”

Those of us who are weary of polarization, of bile and malice, of overstatement and hyperbole should keep in mind that whatever four years of Clinton will mean, Trump means four years of being pitted against each other, of excessive language and polarization. That is what we need to get away from, not what we need to continue. Ω

Going up [Highway] 1. We went all the way up to Columbia Gorge. ... We drove from Southern Cal, where … you’ve got the beautiful cliffs of Big Sur and up into Washington, where you’ve got the beautiful trees … and then the gorge is just—amazing. … It was 1,600 miles. sTEvE ERicKson Restaurant owner

Other than riding to Newport, Oregon, where we got married on a motorcycle ride … I would say the one where I rode—in 1993, we rode to Milwaukee and back for Harley’s 90th anniversary. It was 4,600 miles, round-trip. … And I just saw everything I hadn’t seen before.

LEsTER L acayo Marketing representative

During the fall, down 395, towards the Mojave Desert.

You pass Topaz Lake and pass Mono Lake. That’s probably my favorite motorcycle trip. It’s a two-day trip, there and back.

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by Sheila leSlie

Firing offenses are now legal rights What is it that progressive women want from a candidate in 2016?

Let’s begin with what we don’t want.

Candidates with a history of misogynistic statements and sexist behavior need not apply. You’re automatically disqualified.

To earn our vote, a candidate must support women’s health, including Planned Parenthood, a provider of health care for millions of American women. If you believe insurance coverage of contraceptives should be dependent upon an employer’s religious beliefs, you’re out. If you think women shouldn’t control their own reproductive health care decisions, forget about our vote.

It’s true that women are very concerned about our personal safety and security. If you believe closing the background check loophole at gun shows is an insufferable burden on an individual’s right to gun ownership, off the list you go. Protecting our children and family members from people who shouldn’t be allowed to purchase a gun is far too important to waste a vote on you.

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Pay equity, mental health care, strengthening education funding are all issues women care deeply about, and so should you. We want to hear your plans to close the pay gap and better fund education and human services. If you don’t see the need, you’ve given us a great reason to cross you off the list.

In Nevada, we have the opportunity to elect our first woman to the U.S. Senate in a race that will likely decide majority control of the Senate. Catherine Cortez Masto is locked in a tight race with Joe Heck, who, by the way, professes not to be worried at all about temperamental Trump’s potential access to nuclear weapons. Heck is a staunch opponent of Planned Parenthood.

His party stubbornly refuses to allow funding to combat the Zika virus to go forward until Congress specifically outlaws spending on women’s health care if it is provided by a Planned Parenthood affiliate, revealing a disturbing lack of concern about mitigating the risk to unborn children for all to see.

Politics over people.

The contrast between the presidential candidates is even more stark. Trump’s advisors include the serial sexual harasser, Roger Ailes, whose employer, Fox, just settled with anchor Gretchen Carlson for $20 million and has apologized to several dozen additional women for a “Playboy Mansion culture” fostered by Ailes. That doesn’t trouble Trump, who has called women fat pigs, bimbos and once, according to Politico, described his second wife as “nice tits, no brains.”

Last week, Trump unveiled a fantasy child care and maternity leave plan full of promises but decidedly short on funding.

Women are not fooled.

Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton’s Nevada campaign has created a statewide coalition of women volunteers, activists, leaders and supporters called the Glass Breakers, to coalesce voters in favor of candidates who stand up for the issues that matter most to women. They’re reminding women that just 40 years ago they could be fired for getting pregnant. My mother couldn’t get

a credit card in her own name without my father’s signature of permission. And there was no hope of taking legal action against workplace sexual harassment.

Today, women continue to struggle to receive equal pay for equal work. Only 16 percent of American companies offer fully-paid maternity leave and employers are free to discriminate against women by denying insurance coverage for contraceptives. Accessing a legal abortion is almost impossible in many states.

This Saturday, Sept.24, the Northern Nevada Glass Breakers Women’s Summit will be held at Truckee Meadows Community College in the Sierra Building, Room 108, from 9 a.m. to Noon. It’s a great opportunity to mingle with Northern Nevada’s progressive female candidates and learn more about what you can do to help them help us.

For women, the choices we make in November matter more than ever. Ω

by Brendan Trainor

One person’s joke is another’s principle Well known Nevada journalist Jon Ralston attacked Nevada Senate candidate Victoria Seaman, a Clark County Republican, for being a supporter of the “unconstitutional” Cliven Bundy. Seaman, seeking the seat in Senate District 6, was recognized as one of the top defenders of economic freedom who opposed the Sandoval commerce tax at the last Nevada Legislature. She also supported Assembly Bill 408, which would have declared the sheriffs of unincorporated counties the primary law enforcement officers, and would have required U.S. Bureau of Land Management and Forest Service officers to check in with them before acting.

Ralston is correct that the Legislative Counsel Bureau issued an opinion that AB 408 would not pass court review, but the LCB staffers are not judges. The public lands movement felt it had the right to pass this legislation and defend it in the courts. The moderates in the legislature got weak knees because of the LCB ruling and gutted the bill by amendment,

Friday, October 14

forcing Seaman and the other sponsors to withdraw it.

Ralston also cites the “enabling clause” statutes as proof that the public lands movement, which is much bigger than Cliven Bundy, make Nevada a “joke.”

Ralston believes these statutes, which nearly every territory that is in the process of becoming a state passes, giving the federal government “dominion” over its lands, is the last word that gives the federal government absolute permanent control of the public lands in the states.

The federal government sold off nearly 100 percent of the land in the territories admitted as states east of the Mississippi, but chose to keep the bulk of the land in states west of the Mississippi to itself.

For Ralston, this inequity has no enforceable remedy for Nevada and the other Sagebrush Rebellion states.

The American Lands Council (ALC) and the State of Utah have an alternative to Ralston’s narrow view of the rights of states to control their land.

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The U.S. Supreme Court has interpreted the Constitution to mean every state is admitted on an “equal footing” to the other states. The federal government has a constitutional duty to guarantee each state a Republican form of government. The Court has ruled in a half dozen cases that there is a “fundamental principle of equal sovereignty” among the states. The Court explained that our Nation “was and is a union of States, equal in power, dignity and authority.”

The enabling acts that Ralston cites are simply quit claim deeds that allow the federal government to take control of the territorial lands in order to sell them off and cede control to the states.

The historical record shows that some of the states East of the Mississippi had to pressure the Federal government to dispose of the lands because the Feds were dragging the process out for decades. But force them to comply and cede the lands back they did. It is only the Western states that have failed for so long to get their

lands back. All the Eastern states passed enabling statutes, but they still got control of their land as they became states. By the way, California and Oregon never passed enabling statutes.

The ALC and the State of Utah by its 2012 Transfer of Public Lands Act legislation have a solid constitutional argument that the enabling acts were a compact between the states and the federal government to assure an orderly transition from territory to statehood resulting in full control of the lands within the states by the state legislatures.

Nevada’s public lands movement has seen significant victories in the federal courts, most notably the Hague families suit in the U.S. Court of Claims. It is presumptive of Ralston to call the movement an unconstitutional joke. Ω

The Jon Ralston column Brendan references can be read here: http://tinyurl.com/mhvp8rk

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by Dennis Myers

Guns I Nevada’s Guinn Center, a public policy study institute in Las Vegas, wants no part of being a National Rifle Association talking point on ballot Question One, which provides for background checks in private gun sales.

The NRA’s Catherine Mortensen issued a statement last week arguing that a recent Guinn analysis of ballot Question One tends to support the NRA stance on four points.

The Guinn Center said in a statement that it prefers voters read its information firsthand, not the spin made of it: “We would encourage voters to read our Fact Sheets to better understand the complexity of the issues. The Guinn Center does not take a position on the ballot measures.”

Guns II Three hundred concerts will be held around the country on Sept. 25 with the hope of creating pressure to do something about gun violence.

In Reno, it will be at the Holland Project, 140 Vesta St., beginning at 6:30 p.m. with a local event that includes an “all-ages artistic showcase—spoken word, music and some visual art—on the topics of violence and injustice.”

The second stage of the program, starting around 8 p.m., will join the Concert Across America portion, which in Reno will feature Drag Me Under, Gina Rose and Nico’s Mystery.

There will also be speakers, including gun violence survivors and a representative for ballot Question One, providing for background checks for firearms purchased through a private party, at a gun show or online.

The event will be free, but donations are welcome.

Pot tale of the week In an interview with the Sierra Sun/North Lake Tahoe Bonanza, prohibitionist lawyer Jason Guinasso said, “Legalizing something to reduce the problem doesn’t hold water, based on experience. It exacerbates the problem. It doesn’t solve it.” (Emphasis added.)

In the 19th century, boxing was illegal and brutal, with fighters sometimes dying in the ring. Nevada made boxing legal in 1897 to bag a prizefight held in Carson City that year.

Because boxing was originally conducted in secrecy, it’s difficult to compare before-and-after death figures, and more than 2,000 boxers have died in legal rings. But making it legal made it possible to regulate it for health and safety concerns.

The same can be said of drinking and prostitution.

Murder, robbery, battery are problems. Boxing, driving, drinking, smoking are activities.

The number of those killed by driving or smoking tobacco is far above those killed by war or marijuana. Shall we outlaw them?

Alcohol is a factor in 55 percent of arrests, according to FBI Uniform Crime Reports. The Consumers Union Report on Licit and Illicit Drugs reads, “In a high proportion of cases in which a parent beats his young child so severely that hospitalization is required or that death ensues, the parent is drunk at the time.” In contrast, according to President Nixon’s marijuana commission, marijuana “was usually found to inhibit the expression of aggressive impulses.” It also found that violent crime by marijuana users was rare.

Nearly all “problems” associated with marijuana stem from prohibition, not from the plant itself. Prohibition is a problem. Marijuana use is an activity.

Prohibiting something to reduce the “problem” doesn’t hold water, based on experience. It exacerbates it. It doesn’t solve it.

—Dennis Myers

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A small city of modular classrooms at McQueen High School are reminiscent of military barracks.

PHOTO/DENNIS MYERS

Nailing it down Rumor mill churns on school taxes In preparing our cover story this week on ballot Question WC-1, we came across a lot of queries, reader comments, and so on that seemed to call for more information. The ballot measure would raise the county sales tax by 0.54 percent from 7.725 to 8.265 percent.

• Erica Zideck Crumley, on the Save Our Schools Facebook page, wrote, “Why couldn’t you revamp and reopen the old Brown School and old Huffaker School for two extra schools and buildings?”

SOS spokesperson Richard Jay responded, “Sounds good, however, they are being used as school [office] buildings.”

In addition, just two buildings are not adequate for the county’s needs.

However, there is what some have called ancillary space held by the school district, and no one seems to know how much of it there is, or where it is. About four years ago district administrators were asked by a school board member for a complete and specific inventory of all that space. It has not yet been delivered.

• Again on the SOS Facebook page, Adam Lauritzen raised the issue of using marijuana taxes instead of sales taxes for schools, as in Colorado. Jay replied, “Look at the problems they are facing.” Lauritzen replied, “Such as? Look, there is no way you will convince me this is the way to go.”

There are problems with comparing Colorado to Nevada on marijuana.

For one thing, according to the 2010 census, Colorado has an 86 percent larger population. In addition, the set of taxes in Colorado (2.9 percent retail sales tax, 10 percent special marijuana sales tax, 15 percent marijuana excise tax, and retail/medical marijuana application and license fees) differ from those in Nevada ballot Question Two, which would make marijuana legal and regulated. Finally, the Colorado ballot measure put greater emphasis on use of the taxes for health-related purposes than for education.

Though prohibitionists describe the Colorado situation as troubled, in fact it has gone smoothly, given

the normal difficulty of starting a new program (and in a survey this week, Coloradans said they would vote the same way again, 51 to 36 percent). Marijuana sales in Colorado recently topped a billion dollars, and municipalities are paying for building roads, capital construction, water rights, homeless programs, health — and mental health programs with the taxes. This is with most of the state’s communities still prohibiting marijuana sales. In 2015, Colorado marijuana taxes came to $135 million, and state residents voted to surrender refunds they would have received from the state.

The first $40 million drawn from the 15 percent marijuana excise tax in Colorado goes to school construction.

That fund has been slowly filling and is now at about $27 million. So it is an optimistic picture.

Having said that, there is no independent analysis of what enactment of ballot Question Two in Nevada will mean for schools. Its sponsors have their estimates, but there is no disinterested figure.

• Letter to the editor of the Reno Gazette-Journal by Nina Reid: “Twice in years past I have been conned into voting to increase property taxes for school repairs only to have those funds diverted and repairs never done. Until unbiased accountability is locked into

place, and despite the undoubted need, I— along with many others—will never again vote to have any taxes at all increased to benefit the Washoe County School District.”

Washoe School District chief financial officer Thomas Ciesynski: “In my nearly 25 years with the school district in the Business Office, I am not aware of a time where capital funds have ever been diverted. Additionally, the finances of the school district are audited by an independent external auditor every year and again, to my knowledge, we have never had a finding that capital funds were diverted. … I would also like to point out that the school district has not had a voterapproved increase in the capital property tax rate in 18 years.”

• We have read or heard from several people saying they won’t support more taxes as long as the present school board sits.

The school board that was a subject of such controversy was the one that sat in 2014, when schools superintendent Pedro Martinez stepped down. Of those school board members, two have resigned for health reasons, one was defeated for reelection, and none of the remaining members

are seeking reelection.

In other words, after November there will be an entirely new board.

• As usual, some people have argued to cut the number of school administrators to avoid tax hikes. As the Nevada blog Desert Beacon notes, this is a common refrain in school tax elections. Given how long the Washoe district has been strained financially, it seems unlikely that it would be overburdened with administrators. As it happens, our colleague Terri Hendry at KRNV got there before us. After quoting WC-1 critic Jeff Church’s statement that “Twentyfive [Washoe administrators] make more than the governor, and there’s a couple hundred before you get down to the first teacher,” she then obtained a reaction from Ciesynski, who said, “We have 144 students to every administrator.

In Nevada it’s 128 to one and the national average is 31 to one.”

Incidentally, that national average is up from 2000, when it was 12.8 to 1, according to the Education Research Service. Ω

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by Luka Starmer

Polite race Senate candidates avoid attacks

to let Sen. Smith know my opinion on that,” said Bailey.

Senator Smith’s passing left Bailey without anyone to call.

“So I thought, you know, if there’s anyone who is going to take the mantle of looking at substance abuse and looking at domestic violence and all of those things that contribute to having over one thousand kids in a foster care population, I’ll do it.”

His website emphasizes his position on the topics of Nevada education reform, lowering small business taxation and regulation and improving veterans’ services.

Without any formal political experience, Bailey has a degree in political science and a management career in small businesses and corporations on his side. He won the Republican primary by nearly 70 percent of the vote.

As a self-described moderate Republican, Kent Bailey doesn’t quite fit into the archetypal Republican box.

His didn’t receive an “A” rating on the questionnaire from the NRA. He’s an openly gay man. He says he would have voted for Gov. Sandoval’s tax package in the last session.

He is a proponent of the education spending accounts that passed last session.

Julia Ratti is not. That program is now under court challenge.

“I’m not so girded in the right wing part of my party that I can’t see, understand and take heart with those [issues] the opposing party might find value with,” he said. “I have found that being a Republican in today’s climate, it’s a little difficult for someone like me who takes a pragmatic approach on social issues and tax issues.” But he says that he believes more in pulling one’s self up by the bootstraps—unlike those on the left, who want to redistribute wealth.

Nevada Senate District 13 (formerly Nevada Senate District 1) has never elected a Republican.

A Libertarian, Brandon Jacobs, is also running for Nevada Senate District 13. He was unavailable for comment. We tried to find information on his positions online but were unable to do so. Ω

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This is not typically an election year in State Senate District 13. A special election will be held because of the vacancy left by the death of Washoe Sen. Debbie Smith in February. This election is to fill the two remaining years of the four-year term.

The district runs from Rancho San Rafael Park down to the bottom of South McCarran Boulevard and from Idlewild Park east to the far side of Sparks, representing approximately 128,574 Nevadans.

Sen. Smith’s family asked Julia Ratti to run for the seat on the Democratic ticket. Ratti considered Smith her mentor and friend.

“Debbie and I have a lot in common in terms of our belief system about what’s important to Nevadans, and also our temperament in governing,” said Ratti. She is currently finishing her second term as Sparks City Council member in Ward 1, a position she’s held since 2008.

Ratti’s first priorities are health and human services. She vows to improve the social safety net for families affected by a disability, domestic violence and substance abuse.

Education is her other top priority.

“I just know education is the path out of poverty, and it’s absolutely important not only for low-income families but for all families that we have a strong education system,” she said.

Her Republican opponent is Kent Bailey, a senior specialist with Motorola Inc. Bailey decided to run after learning that more than 1,000 children are held in foster care in Washoe County, primarily as a result of substance abuse issues in their homes.

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stop making cents How t he sales tax became a monster

by Dennis Myers

anet—not her real name—used to do her laundry at a laundromat on Rock Boulevard on Thursday evenings.

She was a single mother of two, alone after separating from a husband with a serious drug problem. She chose that evening each week when there are few customers because the owner turned the coin slide on the washers so that it cost 25 cents less a load. Since she normally did three loads, it saved her 75 cents a week. She used that 75 cents carefully. It came to $39 a year.

I once mentioned Janet’s care with her dollars and cents to U.S. Sen. Harry Reid. He said, “Wow”—and talked about how she would benefit from the earned income tax credit.

Reid, a millionaire when he arrived in Congress in 1983, was still capable of being awed by the difficulties low-income people face.

When the laundromat shut down, Janet found that other laundromats not only did not have that special Thursday night deal but their usual prices were higher, too.

I thought of her when I heard that the sales tax increase of 0.54 percent in ballot Question WC-1 will cost an average family of four making $75,000 a year “only” $81 a year. How many school lunches or pairs of children’s shoes would Janet have been able to pay for with half that amount?

The committee of businesspeople and other establishment figures who again selected the sales tax as the vehicle for a November 2016 ballot measure seeking more school money were not as impressed as Reid by the problems facing lowincome Nevadans.

Committee Chair Shaun Carey told interviewer Sam Shad the sales tax “is not as regressive as the label that people often apply. It does not apply to food unless you are in a restaurant.

The greatest cost to a person is actually when they buy clothes.”

“We can do it at a price everyone can afford,” said Reno Sparks Chamber of Commerce CEO Len Stevens earlier this year.

J

Student volunteers for Save our Schools hand out leaflets at a “school overcrowding” meeting.

PHOTO/DENNIS MYERS

That was not the sentiment in Nevada for most of its history.

For the first nine decades of state history, the state avoided the sales tax like leprosy. By the 1940s, it was political suicide to support one.

Then, in mid-1940s, the “boys” came marching home, and the business community leapt to exploit it.

Service in World War II was the duration of the war plus six months. If that was designed to allow for a gradual release of soldiers and sailors back into civilian life so that societal infrastructure could handle the jolt. It didn’t work. All those wartime songs about the girls they left behind were prophetic. The arrivals home hit communities, states and the federal government with a wallop, particularly when they started producing children.

The baby boom was born—and born was the correct term. There was a 57 percent jump in the Nevada birthrate in the first five months of 1947.

By 1953, the impact on schools was near-emergency.

Parents were banging on the doors of the capitol in Carson City demanding tax hikes. Businesspeople didn’t want to be taxed for obvious reasons. Labor didn’t want the sales tax because it screwed workers.

But there was a split in the labor front—leaders of the state’s teachers were pushing for a sales tax. They were doing their teacher members—whose average salary was less than $3,250— no favors, but it didn’t matter in 1953 because a governor’s veto stopped any tax hikes. That threat was removed after the 1954

Where is the scrutiny of the ballot measure by journalists?

election, and the 1955 Nevada Legislature imposed the state’s first sales tax—two percent.

Save our SchoolS Labor wasn’t giving up. The state AFL-CIO turned to the referendum, which allows members of the public who gather enough signatures to put a state law on the ballot for a vote of approval.

So in 1956 the public got a direct vote on whether to retain the new tax. School forces went into action, forming a group called Save our Schools to conduct a campaign in support of the tax. They were not underfunded. With the incentive of a looming business tax if the sales tax failed, the state’s businesses ponied up dough—and so did the casinos, who knew their low taxes made them an inviting target.

It wasn’t even close—the sales tax was retained with a smashing 69 percent of the vote.

But there was a side effect of that election which got little attention at the time. Under Nevada’s referendum law, a statute that is approved by a vote of the public cannot then be amended

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revenue as the population grows and the number of students increase.

As time went on and the state became more and more invested in the sales tax, the economy was changing. Recently, the sales tax has begun to lose its punch. As the state evolved, goods, which are sales taxed, have become less of a part of the economy. Services, which are not sales taxed, have grown in importance. Legislators were aware of this early on. Shortly before her death, Assemblymember Jan Evans warned that the state needed to stop “placing high reliance on … sales tax. That means durable goods when we know in the economy the real growth is not Jeff Church, a former police officer on durable goods but on services.” and community activist who opposes Neither education supporters or the sales tax hike, was silenced at a her fellow Democrats listened. As public meeting for saying so. long as he chaired the Assembly Taxation Committee, Clark County Assm. Robert Price was able to stop any more sales tax hikes. His fellow Democrat—Speaker Joe Dini— forced him out and replaced him with sales tax supporter David Goldwater.

And labor was changing, too—a new generation of labor leaders Basically, lawmakers created a second, separate sales tax. joined with business in 1997 to support a sales tax hike for It provided a fig leaf that allowed the Nevada Supreme Court infrastructure needs that, in the north, enabled the casinos to say Sales Tax A required a public vote but Sales Tax B did to get their long-demanded project of lowering the railroad not. At the 1967 legislature, the fig leaf was created—the Local tracks through Reno without paying for it with higher School Support Tax (LSST) of one percent. This became known casino taxes. as the Nevada Plan.

As the revenue-generating potency of the sales tax on The AFL-CIO prepared to take it to another referendum. At goods declines, it is hiked periodically, giving state and local the labor group’s state convention, Gov. Paul Laxalt threatened governments an increasing share of a shrinking tax source. them with a state income tax if they went ahead. In fact, there This does not seem to trouble them. was no chance Laxalt would call for a state income tax, and Certainly the minutes of the Nevada Legislature’s there was far more likelihood of an increased gambling tax. In committees suggest that past Washoe County school addition, the referendum was no-lose for labor. If the tax was superintendents did a poor job of bringing the approaching rejected by voters, working people would be spared the hike. If crisis to the attention of state lawmakers for a solution. One the tax was approved, it would be effectively capped without superintendent was reported to dislike lobbying. Others did future public votes. But Laxalt’s bluff worked, and the delegates not communicate the urgency of events. to the labor meeting voted down the referendum effort.

Nor did Washoe superintendents or school district lobbyists take a hand in efforts at the legislature to extend the sales tax to services, a move that not only would have increased revenue but would have made the sales tax less regressive and made possible the lowering of the tax.

It all showed the lengths to which state business and political The five previous school sales tax hikes are not the only leaders would go to keep the tax burden on the little guys and things that have been under-publicized in this campaign. off the big guys.

Journalists have done a poor job of scrutinizing WC-1, which Over the years—and supporters of WC-1 have never raises the county sales tax from 7.725 to 8.265 percent. mentioned this, and no media entity has reported it—the sales Indeed, the upbeat spin put on most of the news stories about tax has been raised five times for education: the ballot measure suggest journalists are cheerleading.

1967 1.00 percent On July 15 (“Why a sales tax solution?”) and May 20 1981 .50 (“School funding: Washoe County Question 1”), KRNV News 1983 .25 ran reports on the ballot measure that quoted only business 1991 .75 supporters—Chamber of Commerce president Len Stevens on 2009 .35 July 15, Economic Development Authority of Western Nevada Thus, in Washoe County, WC-1 would be CEO Mike Kazmierski on May 20—though opponents Jeff the sixth sales tax hike for schools in 49 years—this in spite Church and Tracy Figler are available as critics of the measure. of the fact that sales is a percentage tax that produces more (KRNV and KOLO have also both used Malena Raymond as a PHOTO/DENNIS MYERS

without another vote of the public. Any future sales tax hikes would have to go to the voters.

In 1960, the Nevada Legislature commissioned a report on Nevada’s public finance systems by fiscal experts. Financing State and Local Government in Nevada, informally called the Zubrow report for its lead author, was 695 pages long. It reported that nearly all states with sales taxes adopted them in urgent conditions, as Nevada did— and that eight states let them expire when the crisis was dealt with.

Zubrow further noted that because of the gradual rate of collection of sales taxes, people tend not to realize how heavily they are being taxed. This suggested a “sucker” theory of taxation, the report said, which “has no place in the formulation of a sound tax program.”

Maybe not, but politicians were learning to love the sales tax. Property taxpayers were always complaining.

Sales taxpayers never did. Legislators could hike it without political cost. And soon after the two percent sales tax was enacted, the schools and teachers were back asking for another percent. Ignoring Zubrow’s warnings, the 1963 legislature not only passed it instead of a proposed casino tax hike, but called a special election to get the public’s approval.

It was too soon to revive the “Save our Schools” slogan again, and if the 1956 retention of the two percent sales tax was not close, neither was this additional percent—67 percent of Nevadans voted against it. Like Zubrow, the public seemed to believe sales taxes should be used with caution.

In 1965, another sales tax hike was sought but failed even to make it out of the legislature. Now the casino industry was getting really alarmed. Then as now, the casino industry did not feel the lawmakers could be left to operate on their own. It’s not easy to find a scholar in public finance who supports sales taxes, but casino lobbyists found one—John F. Sly, a retired Princeton professor who chaired the New Jersey Commission on State Tax Policy and was author of Financing Education in the Public Schools. He was a sort of Johnny Appleseed of sales taxes, going around the country as a consultant, loading states like Connecticut, Oregon and Utah down with sales tax levies.

(Oregon voters repealed their sales tax.) Nevada casinos hired him and brought him out to advise the legislators. The Nevada Legislature had its assignment.

After examining the Nevada situation, Sly told the legislators they needed to find a way around the referendum requirement for a public vote on sales tax hikes. It wasn’t exactly an original thought—senators and assemblymembers had given a lot of attention to finding such a loophole. But they were casinomotivated to give it another try.

A study committee headed by small counties Sen. Carl Dodge turned its attention to the problem. As an Urban Institute/ Price Waterhouse study later described it, they “devised a plan to circumvent the two percent constitutional limitation through the enactment of the three statewide additions to the basic two percent rate (1967, 1969, 1981), with the proviso that these additions were local—not state—revenues.”

Does Washoe county need a sixth sales tax hike for schools?

Hike after Hike

Sto p m a k in g cen tS 14

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parent interview on the tax without mentioning she is a school board candidate. In a report on whether the school district overpays administrators, KRNV did interview Church.)

The one-source July 15 report could have been produced by the WC-1 campaign. We know this because that’s how it came to our attention in the first place—it is recommended reading on the Facebook page of the PAC supporting WC-1.

A “report” on KTVN actually was produced by the WC-1 campaign. It was posted on the station’s website on Aug. 10 and though a line at the bottom reads, “The Coalition to Save Our Schools contributed to this report,” in fact the Coalition wrote the entire thing. It is basically a free ad, and we have not been able to find a similar service offered to the opponents.

KOLO ran a March 22 piece on WC-1 that basically endorsed WC-1 in the station’s voice: “The solution is to increase the sales tax from 7.725 To 8.265, giving Washoe County the highest sales tax in the state.” It also quoted chamber of commerce spokesperson Tray Abney and, for an opponent, found an unidentified resident (“said one Reno man”) who did not speak to the ballot measure itself, just to higher taxes generally, though better informed critics like Church and Figler could have spoken knowledgeably about it.

A May 31 Northern Nevada Business Weekly article quoted five supporters of WC-1 (Kazmierski, a builder and a realtor among them) but no opponents.

This is particularly unfortunate because the language of many of these one-sided stories suggest further lines of inquiry. The July 15 KRNV report, for instance, said, “The

committee also liked that the half percent sales tax increase would be a shared burden between residents, businesses and visitors” (emphasis added).

There was no scrutiny of the claim. Had KRNV done some research, it would have found out that the wealthier the resident household, the smaller the impact of its sales tax payments.

According to the Institute on Taxation and Economic Policy, the poorest 20 percent of Nevada families pay 6.1 percent of their income in sales tax. The wealthiest one percent of Nevada families pays six-tenths of 1 percent. That’s not sharing.

There are other approaches journalists have ignored. Some community members in meetings or reader comments have asked questions that have gone unanswered.

For instance, would STAR bonds—Sales Tax Anticipated Revenue bonds, which allow qualifying merchants to keep 75 percent of their sales taxes—eat up most of the tax increase?

The enabling legislation for WC-1—Senate Bill 411, which required this election—does not seem to disallow it, and no independent legal opinion has said otherwise.

Supporters say the WC-1 hike would cost that median family $81 a year. How much do the five already-enacted sales tax hikes cost that family? We queried the Center for Regional Studies, which produced the first estimate. CRS project director Brian Bonnenfant calculated that sales taxpayers are already paying at least $419.37 a year from sales tax hikes for schools—and that doesn’t even count hikes for things like the train trench, or WC-1.

A 2014 Standard & Poor’s report on income inequality suggests that measures like WC-1 could make the problem

worse. Anything that exacerbates income inequality, as WC-1 does, worsens the problems states face in generating revenues. “When the economy operates below its potential, state tax revenues tend to suffer,” the S&P report said.

The report also said that sales taxes hamper growth. Sales tax-reliant states had slower growth than income-tax dependent states. In a prepared statement, S&P analyst Gabriel Petek said, “Increasing income inequality is undermining the rate of state tax revenue growth, particularly for states reliant on sales taxes.”

Nor is inadequate journalism and an unfunded opposition the only thing keeping the public from getting a good look at both sides of the sales tax. Under the law, school district officials cannot take a position on the ballot measure. (This refers to officials like the school superintendent. As elected officials, school board members can say what they want, though they have been keeping their heads down.)

Officials have gone as far as they can, as when they have held meetings they call school overcrowding meetings instead of a neutral term like school capacity meetings. Still, they have generally done a good job of staying inside the law—almost too much.

The law does not apply to public comment, yet members of the public at those meetings—including Jeff Church—have been silenced when they spoke against the provisions of WC-1.

Hard-pressed mothers in laundromats like Janet deserve a more rigorous campaign—and Ω more rigorous reporting.

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Ray Eliot’s title at Reno Bike Project is also his job description—“Mechanic Educator, Bicycle Repair Class Instructor, & All Around Mensch.”i

Reno Bike PRoject tuRns 10 this yeaR

O

ver its first decade, the Reno Bike Project has grown from an idea that a few friends started tossing around to a full-service bike shop and a spirited community organization. Its goals are to make bicycling as safe and accessible to as many people as possible. In the bike project’s early years, it amassed support and established stability—and now it looks forward to its future roles as an advocacy group in a developing Reno.

In the mid-2000s, Noah ChubbSilverman was attending college in Bellingham, Washington, and volunteering for a community bike shop called The Hub, which collects donated bikes, repairs them, sells them and offers bike-repair education.

In 2006, he moved back to Reno, his hometown. That same year, his friend Kyle Kozar graduated from the University of Nevada, Reno. The two, along with artist Mike Burke, began kicking around ideas for a new organization using The Hub as a model. Thus was born the Reno Bike Project.

The group started soliciting used-bike donations and storing them in a friend’s yard.

The next step, Chubb-Silverman said,

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Ride On S TO R Y & P H OTO S BY K R I S VAG N E R was “just getting people together in various places to fix the donated bikes and sell them—or to help other people fix their bikes.”

“I’m not sure that everyone quite understood exactly what we were going after,” he said. But still, people seemed eager to help.

Silverman credits the bike project’s early success in recruiting volunteers to three separate phenomena.

“It was the height of the fixed-gear bike craze,” he said. “And it was, I think, about halfway through the Iraq War, so gas prices

were at the highest they’ve ever been.” (A survey by national advocacy group People For Bikes found that in 2009, “80 percent of retailers said gas prices were helping them sell more bikes for transportation.”) Also, organizers knew several recent college grads with few commitments and a lot of enthusiasm, many of whom volunteered.

“We also got some monetary support early, which helped us achieve some goals, buying equipment and tools, pretty quickly, much quicker than we actually expected,” said Chubb-Silverman. The group received

a donation from the city during its first year—“about $8,000,” he remembers—and also support from a foundation run by a volunteer’s parents.

Two years into its existence, RBP hired its first employee, a bike mechanic. The group set up shop on Bell Street in 2008.

Then, in 2009, it found a permanent storefront on East Fourth Street.

The biggest setback RBP encountered was the drying of donation and grant funding in 2008-09 during the recession. While it slowed growth, that problem turned out to have a silver lining.

“We largely learned to subsist on revenue from our shop,” said Chubb-Silverman.

That revenue comes from sales of used bikes and parts, professional repairs and, to a lesser extent, repair-station rentals, which run $4 an hour, including advice.

Chubb-Silverman and Kozar kept their day jobs for a while. During the third year, they began splitting the executive director salary. Now, Chubb-Silverman is the sole executive director, and RBP has “seven or eight employees” and a small army of volunteers and interns.

The road ahead Looking back on the group’s first decade, Silverman said that the reason the bike project started—and the reason it’s been successful—is this: “People were just passionate

RnRsweetdeals.newsReview.com

During those lean recession years, the bike project offered fewer grantfunded programs. Volunteer-based programs were still possible though.

A Wednesday-evening event called Dan’s Night—hosted by long-time volunteer Dan Ruby and focusing on socializing over bike repairs—started during that era and is still going strong. A similar long-running event, Ladies Night, held each Tuesday, is hosted by Lyndsey Langsdale.

Now that the economic state is once again conducive to fundraising, the group offers more grantfunded programs. One is the Major Taylor Ride Club, which teaches cycling skills to middle-school and high-school-aged riders and leads them on 5-to-30-mile bike rides.

That club has worked with local schools and groups such as the Children’s Cabinet, Kids Kottage and the Girl Scouts.

“A cool thing we started this year is a program called the Future Cycle Program,” said Chubb-Silverman, “which is basically a job skills training program, utilizing the bike project to provide at-risk youth with the skills needed, really, for any job.”

Christian Neff, 18, is a 2016 Reed High School graduate who began in the Future Cycle Program and is now an employee. On a busy day he helps around 15 to 25 customers with repairs, the most frequent being tire patches.

“I knew how to patch a tire [when I started],” Neff said. “But not the proper way. I learned how to do everything the proper way.”

“We work with a lot of people if they’re low on money,” he said.

“Usually anybody that comes in with money or not, we try to keep them riding. … Today was a good example. There was this girl that came in. She’s homeless. She needed her bike to get to a job interview, and she was in a hurry. We took [her tire] off, and there were too many thorns.

We just gave her a free tube so she could get to her job interview.” Neff also teaches customers how to repair their own bikes.

about the bike culture and just helping people get on their bikes.”

The passion is visible. The front of the bike project’s modestly sized cinder-block storefront livens up East Fourth Street with a bright pink paint job. The bike-parking racks outside on the sidewalk are made of welded together cranks. Cyclingthemed paintings, stickers and event posters hang inside the shop, and each year Reno artists have eagerly contributed bike-themed artworks to the group’s annual We Heart Bikes fundraiser exhibit.

“The thing that’s harder to quantify is our effect on Reno,” Silverman said. One thing he can quantify is the number of hours per year people spend at the repair stations. It’s about 1,800.

More difficult to get a reading on is exactly to what extent the organization can effect changes that would make biking safer and more accessible.

“It’s a classic chicken-or-the-egg story,” Chubb-Silverman said, about planning for a more bike-friendly Reno. “The city and RTC [Regional Transportation Commission] constantly use the argument, ‘Why should we build bike lanes if no one rides bikes?’ Every cyclist says, ‘Why am I going to ride a bike if I run the risk of getting run over?’ It’s the if-you-build-it-they-will-come classic story.”

Davis, California, is one city that deliberately planned for a thriving bike culture by putting in bike lanes in 1967, before the demand fully justified them—and before it was even legal to do so in California.

Over decades, it became among the most bike-friendly cities in America.

There isn’t a bike-friendliness rating for Reno, but the League of American Bicyclists compiles state rankings, and Nevada comes in 31st with a 31.1 percent score.

“I’ve spent many, many hours meeting with RTC, meeting with City Council,” said ChubbSilverman. “They’ve added a lot of bike lanes without a doubt.”

But he’d like to see many more.

He’s found that a few city reps are receptive to the idea, but that there’ve been many times he’s felt that cyclists’ concerns have gone ignored.

Bike racks on RTC busses have been helpful, he said, and more bike lanes on streets would be an affordable, effective step. Ω

This guy saves you money.

Life cycLe

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WINNERS’ ISSUE

oN StaNdS 10.6.16

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RN&R’s

by Brad Bynum

This guy saves you money.

David Bruce models the large version of a sticker commonly found in the men’s rooms of Reno bars.

Easy target Trump stickers If you’ve used a urinal in Reno sometime in the last few months—especially at a bar—there’s a good chance you’ve encountered a sticker featuring a high-contrast picture of Donald Trump, eyes scrunched, mouth asnarl, accompanied by the caption “Please pee on me,” in a cheerful font.

These stickers were designed by Ingrid Staats, a Brooklyn-based artist, and produced and printed here in Reno at Sticker Guy, the locally owned company that’s been producing vinyl stickers for nearly a quarter-century (“Stick it to me,” feature story, March 7, 2013).

“Trump is a really easy target,” wrote Staats in an email interview. “I ordered the stickers right before I left the country for a couple of weeks. I was in Norway, and, of course, everyone was asking us how we felt about Trump. It’s embarrassing, just like it was embarrassing when Bush was president, and all that people whom I met abroad could talk about was how stupid he was. ” When David Bruce, the manager of Sticker Guy, saw the design he was inspired and reminded of something he noticed in restrooms during a trip to the Netherlands.

“In the urinals, there’s a little tiny fly, and if you piss on the fly, you don’t get any splash back because the Dutch are all wicked smart about design and making things efficient,” he said. “Most people don’t know that our stickers are totally waterproof. So I thought we should print extras and stick them up on as many urinals as we can.”

He pointed out that the stickers are easily removable, so they don’t cause any property damage. They’re also durable, weather-resistant and able to be repeatedly blasted with a steady stream of hot fluid.

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Staats ordered the original design about a year ago, and Bruce began printing up extras shortly thereafter, using leftover space on print sheets, and giving them away to regular customers, friends and anyone who asks. Staats said she had no problem with her design being given away for free.

“I think protest graphics should be freely distributed,” she wrote. “I’m definitely not trying to take credit for it or profit from it.”

Bruce also made a sheet titled “Urinal application instructions”: “1.

Dry urinal with paper towel. Don’t wet your fingers. 2. Peel stickers and stick only on dry area. Don’t use fingers to apply. Use the waxy part of the sticker liner to seal. 3. Piss away on the fucking turd that is Trump.”

Staats she said hadn’t originally intended the stickers for use in urinals.

“My idea was to put them at the base of lampposts and such, so that people’s dogs would pee on them,” she wrote. “Not being male-bodied, the urinal idea didn’t really cross my mind. ... It wasn’t my original intention, but I’m really happy that a guy got the ball rolling on putting them in urinals!”

Of course, at least 51 percent of the population never use urinals.

“I’ve spoken to girls about this, and I’ve figured out a way to apply them to toilet bowls,” Bruce said. “But it’s a hassle because you have to flush the water, turn off the valve, dry off the area, and then … if you’re sitting down, then it needs to be reversed so his face is pointing at their crotch.”

Bruce said that Trump’s pomposity is what makes him such an appealing target.

He’s printed a few thousand of the stickers, including extra large ones and Spanish language versions. And they’re free to anyone who asks—although there’s not an official channel for requests.

“If you see me, and you want some, I’ll give them to you,” he said. Ω

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This guy saves you money.

by Todd SouTh

owner Tim Magee with a bowl of ravioli in scallion broth from Calafuria’s fixed price menu.

Ciao down

was so little of it to enjoy. The six diminutive morsels looked even smaller compared with the pile of pasta tubes on my plate, served atop a pool of pecorino cream and A multi-course, fixed price meal is one of topped with toasted pine nuts, oven-roasted my favorite options when trying a new tomato and basil-infused oil. My wife’s place, and recently-opened Calafuria dish was good, but the rigatoni was incredprovides just such a dinner ($39 per person) ibly good and much more substantive. on Friday and Saturday evenings. Named Pork belly or beef “tacos” were our for a region of the Tuscan coast of Italy secondo choices. My wife’s taco plate with a focus on Livornese cuisine, the demonstrated a high degree of creativity, dishes range from rustic to refined. We with shells of very thin, roasted celery root chose to dine al fresco and ordered a bottle filled with locally-sourced braised beef, of house red wine ($20), making for a very pickled turnip and spicy pepper aioli, served pleasant way to spend a warm late summer on roasted beets and finished with a bit of evening. the braising liquid—again, a very attractive Service throughout the meal was and delicious plate, but not without issues. friendly and professional. The antipasto Trying to get a bite of taco by hand was a course included a green salad and a flaked messy mistake, and attempting to cut it with tuna salad with chickpea, onion and a fork led to tearing it apart. It occurred tomato. Both salads were tossed in a light to me—too late—that they only look like vinaigrette. A selection of thinly sliced tacos. My wife had better success by startbread, pizza and cecina—a sort of chickpea ing with the fork. crepe—was provided Continuing the along with housemade theme of our precedsausage, coppa and ing course, my plate artfully prepared giar725 S. Center St. featured two sizeable Calafuria is open Tuesday to Thursday from 10 diniera. This collection slices of pork belly, a.m. to 8:30 p.m. and Friday to Saturday from 10 of goodies would have a.m. to 6 p.m. slow-roasted and then made for a pretty nice seared. The meat lunch on its own. I was was laid on a bed of glad a taste of pizza was included. The broccoli rapini and creamy broccoli purée. thick, flavorful crust was brushed lightly I could have actually done with more of the with fresh-tasting tomato sauce and a dollop rapini and less of the pig, but that’s mostly of melted cheese. The sausage, served in because I love the veg and—for my taste— marinara, had a firm texture and robust a little pork belly goes a long way. flavor without a bit of greasiness. The dryDolce was small and simple, a bit of cured pork was nicely seasoned, combining vanilla cream topped with a couple spoonwell with the pickled veggies, olives and fuls of fresh, diced peach. After a meal like slivers of hard cheese. that, I appreciate a dessert that isn’t heavy For the primo course, my wife selected or overly sweet. As we finished the wine butternut ravioli with pancetta. I went and enjoyed the ambience and conversawith rigatoni. The ravioli filling of roasted tion, I knew it wouldn’t be long before I’d squash and Parmesan was very smooth want to return for a sample of their enticing and mild in flavor, allowing the sauce of lunch menu, particularly that yummy, scallion-infused vegetable broth, sage-butter crusty pizza. Ω foam and rosemary-infused olive oil to

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by BoB Grimm

b gr imm@ ne wsr e v ie w.c o m

“How do we find our way out of this movie?”

Sticks and stones

RN&R’s

WInnERs’ IssUE on stands 10.6.16

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woman is glimpsed for a second, so James instantly thinks it’s Heather.

James assembles a crew of idiots to go into the forest, the cursed forest where people disappear and strange tapes are found, in search of the house where the footage was filmed by some moron who didn’t just drop the stupid camera in favor of weaponry and get the hell to safety.

It’s been 17 years since a good chunk of the That crew includes a bunch of actors and actresses world’s people got the shit scared out of them by who basically don’t factor or matter much, so I won’t sticks, twine and Heather Donahue’s mucous in The even name them. Lets just call them “The Band of Blair Witch Project, that little success story that got Idiots Who Choose to Leave Their Cameras On the ball rolling on the now dreaded and despised and Run Around Hyperventilating Yet Keeping the “found-footage” horror genre.

Action Centered For the Most Part While Some Sort It’s been 16 years since the first sequel, Book of of Malevolent Force Tries to Eat Them.”

Shadows: Blair Witch 2 and One Too Many came Seriously, what better way to drive a stake out, and essentially killed the franchise, although the through the heart of the lame “found-footage” horror found-footage cheapie horror shtick would live on, genre than to take the franchise that basically started eventually peaking with Cloverfield (2008) but pretty it all, and take an-all new approach to the subject much sucking before and after that film. matter? Director Adam Wingard Now, here in good ole 2016, a (You’re Next) had a chance to do second sequel to The Blair Witch just this, but he opts for a louder, Project makes its way into cinemas. shakier retread.

Would Lionsgate take this opportuThe newness of this version nity to reintroduce a once promising is supposed to be reflected in the premise into a new style of film, use of drones and hi-def cameras.

Director: Adam Wingard perhaps a traditional narrative about It’s still just assholes finding stick Starring: James Allen McCune the Blair Witch set in the forest men in the woods and then running without the gimmick of people around with cameras raised to their running around with cameras filmfaces or that general area while a freaking witch or ing themselves, even when they are in great peril? something of that ilk is trying to devour their soul!

Nope—opportunity wasted. This movie is OK, OK …there are a few moments of inspiraessentially the original with louder noises, a few more tion. There’s the suggestion that the group is stuck gizmos—drones, walkie talkies, better tents—and, in some sort of time loop, and that the tape that yes, lots more sticks tied together with twine and James views has a really bizarre origin. The final few piles of rocks. minutes of this movie are better than the original, For those of you who are scared shitless by stick including a scene where one of the characters gets men made out of twigs and twine (and piles of rocks stuck in an underground tunnel that plays on claustroin front of tents), this movie will fuck your shit up. phobic fears.

I’m thinking that accounts for, perhaps .00009832 It’s too little, too late, because the film that percent of the movie-going population. The rest of precedes the almost-good ending is just a bunch of you will be bored out of your minds. nimrods playing with stick men in the woods while How does this new story tie into the original? continuing to film the action as they try to avoid Well, I will tell you. James (James Allen McCune), getting disemboweled by a bloodthirsty witch! long suffering brother of the original film’s Heather, For the best in cinematic witch action, see this who vanished all those years ago, has found … a year’s The Witch. For unnecessary and useless tape. That tape contains shaky footage made by retreads, go ahead and plunk down for this P.O.S. somebody moronic enough to try to keep the action Watch out though … it has scary sticks and twine and on camera rather than focus on their much needed rocks in it. Oooooooh … Ω getaway. In said footage, a messed-up looking

Blair Witch

12345

SHORT TAKES

2

Don’t Breathe

Three dimwits (Jane Levy, Dylan Minnette and Daniel Zovatto) try to rob a blind military veteran (a growly Stephen Lang) of his dough in his house. In the course of their heist, they find out a few really bad things about the guy, including his aspirations to be the next Jigsaw (the presently retired, ridiculous villain from the Saw series). Rocky (Levy, who also starred in Alvarez’s Evil Dead) wants to get out of Detroit and move to California with her little sister. She and her boyfriend (Zovatto) have been pulling off minor robberies with Alex (Minnette), using alarm codes from his dad’s security company. They get wind of a boatload of money in the blind man’s house and set out to rob him while he’s home. Yes, the premise is interesting, but things go off the rails pretty quickly when The Blind Man—that’s his actual character name—somehow survives a gassing and interrupts the robbery. His initial thwarting of the break-in is convincing enough, but then the movie becomes all about the robbers standing still while The Blind Man races right by them.

4

Eight Days a Week

Ron Howard directs the first major Beatles documentary since The Beatles Anthology in the ’90s. While Anthology is still the most definitive and damn well perfect account of the greatest band to ever walk the Earth, Howard does a nice job culling footage snippets of the band during their short lived touring days, with screaming fans (one of them being Sigourney Weaver, who is seen in a crowd during vintage footage and in a recent interview). The surviving Beatles, Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr, participate with interviews, while John Lennon and George Harrison have a strong presence in archived interviews. As with Anthology, there’s no narrator, just the voices of the Fab Four either recounting those crazy touring days or commenting on them as they were happening. The film focuses for the most part on their stretch as a live band.

That stretch ended right before Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, when the Beatles became a studio band and eschewed live performances. As the film demonstrates, that decision came about not because they didn’t love playing together, but because they were basically afraid for their lives. Hardcore fans will be familiar with most of the interviews and performances, although you will see and hear some surprises. This film is actually a great starting point for any of you out there looking to get a little more serious in your examination of the band. Keep this in mind when you check them out: This band did what they did in just seven years. SEVEN YEARS. That’s how long it takes many current bands to put out one album. (Available to stream on Hulu during a limited theatrical release.)

5

Hell or High Water

Jeff Bridges, Chris Pine and Ben Foster all destroy their parts in this absolutely terrific modern Western from director David Mackenzie. Pine and Foster play two brothers who come up with a bank-robbing scheme to save the family farm, and Bridges is the soonto-be-retired sheriff trying to stop them. Pine takes his career into all new territories with his work here, making you forget he’s Captain Kirk and totally disappearing into his part.

Foster, an actor I couldn’t stand when he was younger, just gets better and better with each film, with this being his best work yet. Pine is supposedly the more sensible one, while Foster is the nut. What’s great about the writing here is how those roles sometimes switch, and the acting by both makes it mesmerizing to watch.

What else can you say about Bridges at this point? He’s one of the best actors to have ever walked the Earth, and this further cements that fact. Mackenzie, whose most notorious prior film was the underrated Starred Up, takes a step into the elite class with this one.

His staging of car chases and manhunts is nerve-shredding .

2

Morgan

While director Luke Scott definitely shows he’s inherited some of his dad’s helming chops, for Morgan, an ultimately derivative script hampers his feature directing debut. The son of the great Ridley Scott shows some major visual flair and an ability to draw good performances from his cast, but the movie itself, with Dad producing, is a pastiche of other science fiction and horror films, most notably his dad’s own Blade Runner. Morgan (Anya Taylor-Joy) is an artificially created humanlike being. (I guess that’s the best way to describe it.) She’s only five but looks like a teenager and has superior intellect and physical skills. She’s been genetically engineered to age quickly, and while she is basically a well-meaning entity, her behavioral wires get a little crossed up sometimes, resulting in violent “errors.” Morgan goes apeshit when she’s not allowed outside. This results in the character played by Jennifer Jason Leigh being on pain meds for the whole movie with a big, bloody gauze on her eye. The “corporation” that helped create Morgan sends icy company woman Lee Weathers (Kate Mara) out to assess the matter and recommend a course of action.

It all leads up to a lame and unnecessary twist that diminishes the story and overall quality of the film.

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4

Sausage Party

Sausage Party, the animated hellcat from writer-producers Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg, is the first big studio film in a long time with screaming levels of originality.

It’s a profanity-laden, blasphemous middle finger to the movie-making establishment that thinks it’s OK to turn out sequels and comic book movies that suck as long as people shell out for them. It couldn’t be more fun, and it’s like nothing you’ve seen before. In a sunny supermarket, a bunch of vegetables, hot dogs and buns wake up and sing a happy song, convinced that today will be the day they are chosen by humans to enter the great beyond—the world on the other side of those automatic sliding doors. What they find on the other side of those doors is nonstop carnage, certain death, and a generally bad time for all things digestible.

What makes Sausage Party a cut above your average stoner movie full of food items screwing and being murdered is that it’s actually a smart swipe at organized religion and politics.

3

A SPECIAL SUPPLEMENT TO RENO NEWS & RE VIEW • OCTOBER 1, 2015

HEALTH GUIDE SEPT. 29, 2016

Sully

Historical accuracy be damned in Sully, Clint Eastwood’s take on the heroic actions of pilot Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger, who landed his plane on the Hudson River and saved the lives of all crew and passengers on board. The passages about a pilot successfully landing his plane in an ice-cold Hudson River and allowing over 150 people to tell the tale, live long and prosper are really the most important, and most compelling, parts of this movie. As for the evil, fictitious inquisition that basically tortures Sully (played by Tom Hanks in a typically riveting performance) and co-pilot Jeff Skiles (welcome back to decent movies, Aaron Eckhart!), well, that’s basically a lot of made-up horseshit. That’s not to say Sully wasn’t tormented and obsessed in the days after the event, and the film does a good job displaying his internal struggles. The man had to land a plane after a bunch of birds flew into his engines, and then he probably did have a bunch of dicks asking him too many questions in the aftermath. Undoubtedly, he went through hell during that flight and is haunted until this day. Eastwood and Hanks deliver a compelling psychological drama about a man who doubts his own heroism, to the point of nightmarish visions and self deprecation.

Where the film goes a bit afoul is the depiction of a panel that didn’t even give Sully and his crew a chance to breathe after being plucked out of the Hudson. Yes, there was an inquiry, but it took place many months later, not a few days after the event.

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by JerI Chadwell-SIngley

j e ri c @ne w s re v i e w . c o m

Musicians sit in a circle during the Sept. 13 Irish tune session at Ceol Irish Pub.

Full circle Irish tune sessions Musicians start filing into Ceol Irish Pub around 7 on Tuesday evenings. But the stage at the back of the long building remains empty.

In preparation for their weekly Irish tune session, players gather in a circle of chairs facing one another. It’s a setup that might seem odd, until one understands the motivation behind it.

“It’s the desire to play the music, but not perform,” said session host Peter Grant. “So this group is playing for and with each other, and, if people are enjoying it, then we’re thrilled, but it’s not a performance per se.”

Tune sessions like this one are a tradition in Ireland and, according to Grant, are commonplace in the states as well.

At Ceol, the gatherings are fairly informal. While many of the same musicians attend every week, others make less frequent visits, and their musical influences are more Celtic than strictly Irish.

On a given night, there might be 10 or more players on instruments ranging from the mandolin and guitar to the bodhran, a traditional Irish drum. Now and again, the group even has a Galician bagpipe, called a gaita. And there’s pretty much always an abundance of fiddles—often as many as six. Grant is among the fiddle players, though an ongoing battle with tendonitis has led him to take up the Irish whistle on occasion.

“We also cover a lot of ground in terms of experience,” Grant said. “Like I’ve been playing for most of my life, as have some of the folks here, and then others are just learning. We make room for them, and they’re part of the group.”

PHOTO/JERI CHADWELL-SINGLEY

According to Grant, sessions at Ceol are structured a bit differently than most in Ireland—in part to accommodate those less experienced players.

“In a lot of sessions it tends to be more organic, in that when someone thinks of a tune—if it’s quiet—they launch into it, and those people that know it play along,” he said. “In this session … we pass the pick, as it were, around the circle.”

When it’s a player’s turn to pick, he or she chooses the tune and how fast it will be played. Those who don’t know it, or can’t keep up, can sit it out. Some take the opportunity to learn new tunes by ear, while others choose to give it a go by sight-reading on tablets or sheet music.

“To me, it makes it more inclusive,” Grant said. “It makes it more everybody’s session. When you have a traditional session … it tends to get dominated more by a core few. From the beginning, that just didn’t feel quite right to me. And so that’s a twist that we have—we’ve always done it this way.”

Grant and his fellow musicians have held their weekly sessions at Ceol for about four years. It’s the third place they’ve called home, and according to Grant, it’s been the best fit. The players certainly seem right at home—often taking breaks to chat among themselves—which, according to Grant, is very much in keeping with Irish tradition.

“That’s part of the scene … and it makes us feel like we’re not just there to play,” he said. “We’re playing with friends.”

And new friends are welcome.

“We’re just always looking for people that enjoy traditional Celtic music and like to play it,” Grant said.

Tune sessions are held at Ceol Irish Pub, 538 S. Virginia St., Tuesdays from 7 to 10 p.m.

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THURSDAY 9/22

FRIDAY 9/23

SATURDAY 9/24

125 W. Third St., (775) 323-5005

Industry Party Night, 5pm, no cover Moon Gravy, 8pm, no cover

The Whiskey Haulers, 9pm, no cover

Suspect Zero, 9pm, no cover

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Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

DJ Izer, 10pm, $5 after 10pm

Arabian Nights Drag Show & Pulse Nightclub Fundraiser, 10pm, $5 after 10pm

BAR OF AMERICA

Rustler’s Moon, 8:30pm, no cover

Soul Persuaders, 9pm, no cover

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Blues Traveler

CARGO AT WHITNEY PEAK HOTEL

Blues Traveler, 8pm, $27

255 N. Virginia St., (775) 398-5400

Sept. 23, 8 p.m.

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CEOL IRISH PUB

538 S. Virginia St., (775) 329-5558

Pub Quiz Trivia Night, 8pm, no cover

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10142 Rue Hilltop, Truckee; (530) 587-5711

Bodie 601, 6pm, no cover

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Comedy

275 E. Fourth St., (775) 324-1917

3rd Street, 125 W. Third St., 323-5005: Comedy Night & Improv w/Patrick Shillito, W, 9pm, no cover Carson Nugget, 507 N. Carson St., Carson City, 882-1626: Rex Meredith, F, 7:30pm, $13-$15 The Improv at Harveys Cabaret, Harveys Lake Tahoe, Stateline, (800) 553-1022: Tammy Pescatelli, Rawle Dee Lewis, Th-F, Su, 9pm, $25; Sa, 8pm, 10pm, $30; Todd Glass, Gary Brightwell, Tu-W, 9pm, $25 Laugh Factory at Silver Legacy Resort Casino, 407 N. Virginia St., 325-7401: Raj Sharma, Th, Su, 7:30pm, $21.95; F-Sa, 7:30pm, 9:30pm, $27.45; Bob Zany, Tu, W, 7:30pm, $21.95 Reno-Tahoe Comedy at Pioneer Underground, 100 S. Virginia St., 686-6600: Rex Meredith, F, 9pm, $13-$18; Sa, 8:30pm, $13-$18

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2002 Victorian Ave., Sparks; (775) 358-6700

County Clarke, 9pm, no cover

Fourth Friday Session, 6pm, no cover

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George Souza, 6pm, no cover

Fryed Brothers Band, 9:30pm, no cover

Merle Jagger, 9:30pm, no cover

VooDooDogz, 8pm, no cover

Wunderlust, 9pm, no cover

Karaoke w/C.J. Tirone, 7pm, no cover

Karaoke Kat, 9pm, no cover

Canyon White Open Mic Night, 8pm, no cover

Valentine Rodeo, 8pm, no cover

3372 S. McCarran Blvd., (775) 825-1988

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY 9/26-9/28

George Souza, 6pm, no cover

10603 Stead Blvd., Stead; (775) 677-7088

HELLFIRE SALOON

SUNDAY 9/25

Before Giants, Heartwork 7:30pm, $5 Fringe Class, Team Francis, 8pm, $5

A Night of Peace w/Gina Rose, Drag Me Under, Nico’s Mystery, 6:30pm, no cover

1) Dizzy Wright, Audio Push, Mark Battles, Demrick, T Dubz, 8pm, $20-$25

1) Guttermouth, King Ghidora, Machine Gun Vendetta, 10pm, $15

1) Moosh & Twist, Bryce Vine, Pryde, BONEZ, 8pm, $15

Ruby Jaye, 8pm, no cover

Mr. Rooney, 9pm, no cover

Magic Fusion, 7:30pm,9:30pm, $19-$27

Magic Fusion, 4:30pm, 7:30pm, 9:30pm, $19-$27

140 Vesta St., (775) 742-1858

JUB JUB’S THIRST PARLOR

71 S. Wells Ave., (775) 384-1652 1) Showroom 2) Bar Room

THE JUNGLE

246 W. First St., (775) 329-4484

188 California Ave., (775) 322-2480

CW and Mr. Spoons, noon, M, no cover Dave Leather, noon, W, no cover

Open Mic Jam Slam w/Adrian Dijjon, 8pm, Tu, C.J. Tirone, 7pm, W, no cover

Open Mic Night, 9pm, M, no cover Trivia Night, 9pm, W, no cover

THE HOLLAND PROJECT

THE LOVING CUP

Tune-In Tuesdays, 8pm, Tu, no cover

Electric Catfish, 8pm, no cover

3819 Saddle Rd., South Lake Tahoe; (530) 314-7665

1021 Heavenly Village Way, South Lake Tahoe; (530) 523-8024

August Burns Red, Erra, 7pm, M, $17.50 Songs in the Key of Life, 7pm, W, $15

Karaoke w/Nitesong Productions, 9pm, Tu, no cover

HIMMEL HAUS

THE LOFT THEATRE-LOUNGE-DINING

Karaoke, 9pm, Tu, W, no cover

Magic Fusion, 7:30pm, 9:30pm, $19-$27

2) Blazin Mics!, 9:30pm, M, no cover Open Mic Night, 7pm, M, Reno’s Favorite Crooners, 7:30pm, W, no cover

Magic Fusion, 4:30pm, 7:30pm, $19-$27

Magic Fusion, 7:30pm, M, Tu, $19-$27

Live jazz, 8pm, no cover

NIGHT RANGER Saturday Sept. 24

Celebrity Showroom

775.356.3300 • NuggetCasinoResort.com 09.22.16

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THURSDAY 9/22 MIDTOWN WINE BAR 1527 S. Virginia St., (775) 800-1960

MOODY’S BISTRO BAR & BEATS 10007 Bridge St., Truckee; (530) 587-8688

FRIDAY 9/23

SATURDAY 9/24

DJ Trivia, 6:30pm, no cover

Jake’s Garage 5.0, 8pm, no cover

Crush, 8pm, no cover

Jenni Charles & Jesse Dunn, 8pm, no cover

Members of Dead Winter Carpenters, 8:30pm, no cover

Members of Dead Winter Carpenters, 8:30pm, no cover

MORRIS BURNER HOSTEL

SUNDAY 9/25

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY 9/26-9/28 Tammy Tam Tam, 6:30pm, Tu, no cover Jamie Rollins, 7:30pm, W, no cover

The Flesh Hammers, Andalusia Rose, 9pm, $5

400 E. Fourth St., (775) 327-1171

PADDY & IRENE’S IRISH PUB

Acoustic Wonderland singer-songwriter showcase, 8pm, no cover

906-A Victorian Ave., Sparks; (775) 358-5484

POLO LOUNGE

Johnny Lipka’s Gemini, 9pm, no cover

Rockaraoke, 8pm, no cover

Big Nobs, 7pm, $10

Dio’s Maiden, Judas Thieves, Hollywood Trashed, 7pm, $7-$10

Karaoke with Steve Starr, 8pm, no cover

Shayna Rain, Nico’s Mystery, Grace Hayes, 9pm, $5

Vinyl Conservation Club w/Trox, Mener, Quad Double Oh!, others, 9pm, $5

Dance party w/Metaphysical, 10pm, no cover

Steve Gunn and the Outliners featuring Nathan Bowles, 7pm, $10-$12

Metal Mondays, 9pm, M, no cover Beer and Record Club, 8pm, W, no cover

Tavern Trivia Night, 9pm, no cover

BREAKER BREAKER, 10pm, Tu, $5 donation

Open mic and jam, 7pm, no cover

76 N. C St., Virginia City; (775) 847-7474

ROCKBAR THEATER 211 N. Virginia St., (669) 255-7960

THE SAINT 761 S. Virginia St., (775) 221-7451

SHEA’S TAVERN 715 S. Virginia St., (775) 786-4774

SHELTER

DJ/dancing, 10pm, no cover

111 N. Virginia St., (775) 329-2909

SPARKS LOUNGE

DJ/dancing, 10pm, no cover

Thursday Blues Jam hosted by Rich Maloon, 8:30pm, no cover

1237 Baring Blvd., Sparks; (775) 409-3340

SPECTRE RECORDS

Steve Gunn and the Outliners

1336 S. Wells Ave., (775) 409-4085

Furnsss, Bread Pilot, Video World, 8pm, $5

ST. JAMES INFIRMARY

Mr. Rooney, 10pm, no cover

Saturday Night Dance Party, 9pm, no cover

Bohemian Burlesque: Decades, 8pm, $15-$20

Bohemian Burlesque: Decades, 8pm, $15-$20

445 California Ave., (775) 657-8484

STUDIO ON 4TH

Snailmate, Nevermute, The Doctors of Feel Good, 8pm, $5

432 E. Fourth St., (775) 737-9776

WHISKEY DICK’S SALOON 2660 Lake Tahoe Blvd., South Lake Tahoe; (530) 544-3425

WILDFLOWER VILLAGE 4275-4395 W. Fourth St., (775) 787-3769 1) Golden Rose Cafe 2) Green Fairy Pub 3) Cabaret

Moosh & Twist Sept. 25, 8 p.m.

Jub Jub’s Thirst Parlor 71 S. Wells Ave. 384-1652

Johnny Lipka’s Gemini, 9pm, no cover

1559 S. Virginia St., (775) 322-8864

RED DOG SALOON

U Play Wednesday (open mic jam), 8pm, W, no cover

Explorations in Jazz, 8pm, no cover

Tuesday Trivia, 8pm, Tu, no cover

Sept. 25, 7 p.m.

The Saint 761 S. Virginia St. 221-7451

Ohio Knife, 9pm, no cover 1) Comedy Power Hour Open Mic, 8pm, Tu, no cover

THESE DON’T MIX Think you know your limits? Think again.

If you drink, don’t drive. Period.

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ATLANTIS CASINO RESORT SPA

3800 S. Virginia St., (775) 825-4700 1) Grand Ballroom Stage 2) Cabaret

BOOMTOWN CASINO HOTEL

Tears for Fears Sept. 23, 8 p.m.

Silver Legacy 407 N. Virginia St. 325-7401

2100 Garson Rd., Verdi; (775) 345-6000 1) Event Center 2) Guitar Bar

Corkscroo Bar & Pizzeria, 10 E. Ninth St., 284-7270: Cash Karaoke w/Jacques, W, 6pm, no cover La Morena Bar, 2140 Victorian Ave., Sparks, 772-2475: Karaoke, Sa, 9pm, no cover The Man Cave Sports Bar, 4600 N. Virginia St., 499-5322: Karaoke, Sa, 8pm, no cover The Point, 1601 S. Virginia St., 322-3001: Karaoke, Th-Sa, 8:30pm; Su, 6pm, no cover Spiro’s Sports Bar & Grille, 1475 E. Prater Way, Ste. 103, Sparks, 356-6000: F-Sa, 9pm, no cover West Second Street Bar, 118 W. Second St., 384-7976: Daily, 8pm, no cover

FRIDAY 9/23

SATURDAY 9/24

SUNDAY 9/25

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY 9/26-9/28

2) Just Us, 8pm, no cover

2) Just Us, 4pm, no cover Kick, 10pm, no cover

2) Just Us, 4pm, no cover Kick, 10pm, no cover

2) Kick, 8pm, no cover

2) Atomika, M, Tu, W, 8pm, no cover

2) George Pickard, 6pm, no cover

2) Paul Covarelli, 5pm, no cover Stephen Lord, 9pm, no cover

2) Paul Covarelli, 5pm, no cover Stephen Lord, 9pm, no cover

2) Crush, 6pm, no cover

2) Tandymonium, 6pm, M, no cover Keith Allen, 6pm, Tu, no cover Jonathan Barton, 6pm, W, no cover

2) After Dark, 7pm, no cover

2) After Dark, 8pm, no cover

2) After Dark, 8pm, no cover

1) Guitar Army, 9pm, $30

2) Haylestorm, The Thermites, 10pm, no cover

CARSON VALLEY INN

1627 Hwy. 395, Minden; (775) 782-9711 1) Valley Ballroom 2) Cabaret Lounge 3) TJ’s Corral

CRYSTAL BAY CLUB

14 Hwy. 28, Crystal Bay; (775) 833-6333 1) Crown Room 2) Red Room

ELDORADO RESORT CASINO

Karaoke

THURSDAY 9/22

2) John Palmore, 6pm, Tu, W, no cover

1) The Producers, 7pm, Tu, W, $37+ 2) Live Band Karaoke, 10pm, M, no cover Ashley Red, 10:30pm, W, no cover

345 N. Virginia St., (775) 786-5700 1) Theater 2) Brew Brothers 3) NoVi

2) Left of Centre, 10:30pm, no cover

2) Left of Centre, 10:30pm, no cover 3) DJ Roni V, 9pm, no cover

2) Left of Centre, 10:30pm, no cover 3) DJ Roni V, 9pm, no cover

GRAND SIERRA RESORT

2) Lex Thursdays, 10pm, no cover 3) Country Nights w/DJ Colt Ainsworth, 10pm, no cover

1) LeAnn Rimes, 9pm, $36.70-$68.81 2) DiJiTAL, 10pm, $15 3) Country Nights, 10pm, no cover

2) DJ Vice, 10pm, $15 3) Country Nights w/DJ Colt Ainsworth, 10pm, no cover

2) The Male Room, 9pm, $20 DJ Twyman, DJ JosBeatz, 10pm, $20 3) Arty the Party, 9pm, no cover

1) Eric Burdon & The Animals, 7:30pm, $51.37 2) DJ Loczi, DJ Rick Gee, 10pm, $20 3) Arty the Party, 9pm, no cover

1) Sammy’s Showroom 50th Anniversary

1) Sammy’s Showroom 50th Anniversary Show, 8pm, $39.50-$40.50 3) Pearl Sky, 9pm, no cover 4) Caravanserai, 7pm, no cover

1) Sammy’s Showroom 50th Anniversary Show, 8pm, $39.50-$40.50 3) Pearl Sky, 9pm, no cover 4) Skynnyn Lynnyrd, 7pm, no cover

1) Sammy’s Showroom 50th Anniversary Show, 8pm, $39.50-$40.50

1) Sammy’s Showroom 50th Anniversary Show, 8pm, M, $39.50-$40.50

3) DJ/dancing, 6pm, no cover Jessie Leigh Band, 9pm, no cover

3) DJ/dancing, 6pm, no cover Jessie Leigh Band, 9pm, no cover

1) Night Ranger, 8pm, $25-$55 3) DJ/dancing, 6pm, no cover Jessie Leigh Band, 9pm, no cover

3) DJ/dancing, 6pm, no cover

3) DJ/dancing, 6pm, W, no cover

2) Dusty Miles and the Cryin’ Shame, 7pm, no cover

2) Dusty Miles and the Cryin’ Shame, 8pm, no cover 3) The Latin Dance Social, 7:30pm, $10-$20

2) Dusty Miles and the Cryin’ Shame, 8pm, no cover 3) DJ Scene, 10pm, $20

2) Bogg Jazz Ensemble, 6pm, no cover

2) Bogg Jazz Ensemble, 6pm, M, Tu, W, no cover

1) The Connor Party, 8pm, no cover

1) The Connor Party, 8pm, no cover 3) The Utility Players, 8pm, $15

1) Tears for Fears, 8pm, $59.50-$75.50 2) Superbad, 9pm, no cover 3) Fashion Fridays, 9pm, no cover 4) Atomika, 9pm, no cover

2) Superbad, 9pm, no cover 3) Seduction Saturdays, 9pm, $5 4) Atomika, 9pm, no cover

2) Sunday Funday Industry Night, 10pm, no cover 3) Industry Night, 9pm, no cover

2) Country-Rock Bingo w/Jeff Gregg, 9pm, W, no cover

2500 E. Second St., (775) 789-2000 1) Grand Theater 2) Lex Nightclub 3) Sports Book

HARRAH’S LAKE TAHOE

15 Hwy. 50, Stateline; (775) 588-6611 1) South Shore Room 2) Peek Nightclub 3) Center Stage Lounge

HARRAH’S RENO

Show, 8pm, $39.50-$40.50 219 N. Center St., (775) 788-2900 4) Life in the Fastlane, noon, no cover 1) Sammy’s Showroom 2) The Zone 3) Sapphire Lounge 4) Plaza 5) Convention Center Journey Revisited, 7pm, no cover

NUGGET CASINO RESORT

1100 Nugget Ave., Sparks; (775) 356-3300 1) Celebrity Showroom 2) Nugget Grand Ballroom 3) Gilley’s

PEPPERMILL RESORT SPA CASINO

2707 S. Virginia St., (775) 826-2121 1) Tuscany Ballroom 2) Terrace Lounge 3) Edge

SANDS REGENCY CASINO HOTEL

345 N. Arlington Ave., (775) 348-2200 1) 3rd Street Lounge 2) Copa Bar & Grill 3) Theater

SILVER LEGACY RESORT CASINO 407 N. Virginia St., (775) 325-7401

1) Grand Exposition Hall 2) Rum Bullions Island Bar 3) Aura Ultra Lounge 4) Silver Baron Lounge

2) Banzai Thursdays w/DJ Trivia, 8pm, no cover 4) Jamie Rollins, 9pm, no cover

2) Left of Centre, 10:30pm, no cover

3) Live blues w/Buddy Emmer Band and guest, 8pm Tu, no cover

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FOr tHE WEEK OF sEPtEMBEr 22, 2016 For a complete listing of this week’s events or to post events to our online calendar, visit www.newsreview.com.

OKTOBERFEST: The inaugural festival

FAMILY GAME NIGHT: Come into the library,

features a special seasonally released Oktoberfest craft brew by Brewer’s Cabinet in traditional steins and authentic Bavarian food like bratwursts, pretzels and more from award-winning chef Mark Estee. Guests can hear yodeling and live traditional music, participate in Bavarian-style dancing demonstrations, see traditional alpenhorn blowing and more. Sa, 9/24, 11am-7pm. Free. The Brewer’s Cabinet, 475 S. Arlington Ave., (775) 348-7481, www.brewerscabinet.com.

find a table, grab a game and have some fun. Second and fourth W of every month, 4:30-6:30pm. Free. Northwest Reno Library, 2325 Robb Drive, (775) 787-4100.

INSIDE OUT: AN ANATOMY EXPERIENCE: Through digital and hands-on exhibits, learn how our bodies work, grow, age and heal. Tu-Su. $9-$10. Terry Lee Wells Nevada Discovery Museum, 490 S. Center St., (775) 786-1000, www.nvdm.org.

SUPPLEMENTAL NUTRITION ASSISTANCE PROGRAM (SNAP) OUTREACH CLINIC: The

OKTOBERFEST: Reno South Rotary celebrates a traditional Oktoberfest with music, entertainment, beer and wine tastings, German cuisine, contests, prizes and more. All proceeds from event to benefit the Most Improved Student Scholarship Program for high school students. Sa, 9/24, 3pm. $50-$55.

Wolf Run Golf Club, 1400 Wolf Run Road, (775) 846-9393.

Food Bank of Northern Nevada hosts SNAP outreach clinics to assist lowincome families and individuals in applying for SNAP benefits. Th, 10am-noon.

Free. Downtown Reno Library, 301 S. Center St., (775) 327-8312.

TRY YOUR HAND AT HAND WEAVING: The Reno

RENO BEER CRAWL: Purchase your glass and map at The Waterfall and enjoy $1 refills at 12+ downtown Reno taverns. Fourth

Sa of every month, 2-6pm through 12/24.

$5 glass and map. The Waterfall, 134 W. Second St., (775) 322-7373.

Fiber Guild invites people of all ages to sit down at a loom and throw a shuttle. Talk with guild members about their projects and participate in hands-on demonstrations. Sa, 9/24, 11am-2pm. Free. South Valleys Library, 15650A Wedge Parkway, http://renofiberguild.blogspot.com.

RENO STREET FOOD—PARTY IN THE PARK:

9/24:

Squaw Valley Oktoberfest

The annual festival features traditional Bavarian music and folk dancers, yodeling, a beer garden and food—including brats, kraut and pretzels—and the Oktoberfest Games. Festival admission is free. $10 admission to the beer garden includes festival glass and first beer and $5 for each additional beer. All proceeds from beer sales benefit the High Sierra Lacrosse Foundation. The event takes place from 2 p.m. to 6 p.m. on Saturday, Sept. 24, at the Village at Squaw Valley, 1960 Squaw Valley Road, Olympic Valley. Visit http://squawalpine.com.

EvEnts ANIMAL ARK PAWS & CLAWS GALA 2016: The event features food and drinks, a cheetah run, silent auctions, door prizes, raffles, wildlife specialists discussing various species and musicians to entertain you. Su, 9/25, 1:30-6pm. $125 adults, $200 VIPs. Animal Ark Wildlife Sanctuary and Nature Center, 1265 Deerlodge Road, (775) 970-3431, www.animalark.org.

BARK FOR LIFE: American Cancer Society’s canine event to fight cancer offers fun, games, food, entertainment and activities for all who sign up. T-shirts for those who preregister online and bandanas for all dogs. Su, 9/25, 9am-noon. $30 family of four registration. Sparks Marina, 325 Harbor Cove Drive, Sparks, (775) 329-0600, www.relayforlife.org.

CARSON CITY GHOST WALK: Hear about lingering spirits of the past centuries, haunted and paranormal stories and gossip from the past during this guided walking tour of the downtown district’s historic homes and businesses. Sa, 9/24, 6:30pm. $15-$20, free for children under age 3. Corner of Third and Curry streets, Carson City, (775) 348-6279.

CORNERSTONE REDEDICATION CEREMONY: On Sept. 24, 1866, the Grand Lodge of Nevada, Free and Accepted Masons dedicated the laying of the cornerstone of the original U.S. Mint in Carson City.

Exactly 150 years later to the day and time, the Grand Lodge of Nevada, Free and Accepted Masons will rededicate that cornerstone at what is now the Nevada State Museum during a ceremony featuring speeches by State of Nevada dignitaries. An open house will follow at Carson Lodge No. 1, Free and Accepted Masons, 113 E. Washington St., Carson City. Sa, 9/24, 2-3pm. Free.

Nevada State Museum, 600 N. Carson St., Carson City, (775) 445-9398.

FEED THE CAMEL: The Hump Day food truck event and arts bazaar takes place under the Keystone Bridge. W, 9/28, 5-8pm. Free.

McKinley Arts & Culture Center, 925 Riverside Drive, (775) 450-0062.

GENOA CANDY DANCE ART & CRAFTS FAIRE: The 97th annual event features more than 300 vendors offering arts and crafts and homemade candy and food.

The dinner and dance is at 5:30pm on Sept. 24 at the Genoa Town Park on Nixon Street. Sa, 9/24, 9am-5pm; Su, 9/25, 9am-5pm. $20-$30 for dinner and dance.

Main Street, Genoa, (775) 782-8696.

GOLD HILL GHOST TOUR: Enjoy a meal at the Crown Point restaurant and then join a guided ghost tour through the Gold Hill Hotel sharing stories of ghostly legends.

Dining begins at 4pm. The tour starts at 8pm. M, 4 & 8pm. $40 for dinner and tour, $20 for tour only. Gold Hill Hotel, 1540 S. Main St., Gold Hill, (775) 847-0111.

LANTERN FEST: The event features music, dancing, s’mores and snacks and an evening launch of lanterns. Sa, 9/24, 3-9pm. $7-$50, free for kids age 3 and younger.

Fernley 95A Speedway, 1965 Highway 95A, Ste. A, Fernley, www.thelanternfest.com.

MOANA FOOD TRUCK ROUNDUP: The food truck gathering features family-friendly activities, entertainment and more. Th, 5-9pm through 9/29. Rounds Bakery, 294 E. Moana Lane, Ste. 10, (775) 329-0800.

A NIGHT OF PEACE: The first part of the evening will consist of an all-ages artistic showcase surrounding the topic of hatred, injustice and violence. The second part of the evening will consist of a Reno version of the Concert Across America to End Gun Violence featuring Gina Rose, Drag Me Under and Nico’s Mystery. Su, 9/25, 6:30pm. Free. The Holland Project, 140 Vesta St., Suite 330, (775) 742-1858.

Art

The gourmet street food event features more than 20 gourmet food, craft dessert, beer, wine and mixed drink vendors. Local musicians provide free live entertainment each week. F, 5-9pm through 9/30. Free. Idlewild Park, 1900 Idlewild Drive, (775) 825-2665.

CARSON CITY COMMUNITY CENTER: Silver

STREET VIBRATIONS FALL RALLY: The annual motorcycle rally features motorcycle displays, stunt shows, rides, poker runs, a tattoo expo, vendors, auctions, fireworks show, live music, celebrities appearances and more in venues in Reno, Lake Tahoe, Carson City and Virginia City. Actor Erik Estrada, star of the TV show CHiPs, will be Grand Marshal of Police on Parade on Sept. 22 and will be available for photographs and conversations during “Meet and Greet” sessions at multiple venues throughout the day. Th-Su through 9/25. Downtown Reno, Virginia Street, (775) 329-7469, www. roadshowsreno.com.

UNR’S MAIN STATION FARM FIELD DAY: University of Nevada, Reno’s annual event features hands-on activities, tours of the farm, cooking demonstrations and more. Sa, 9/24, 9am-2pm. Free. University of Nevada, Reno’s Main Station Field Lab, 5895 Clean Water Way, (775) 784-1660, http://ag.unr.edu/fieldday.

All AgEs

State Swimmer. The Capital City Arts Initiative presents artwork by artist Michael Malley at the Carson City Community Center’s Sierra Room.

M-Th, 8am-5pm through 11/10. Free. 851 E. William St., Carson City, (775) 887-2290, www.arts-initiative.org.

CARSON CITY COURTHOUSE GALLERY: New Crop 2016. The Capital City Arts Initiative presents artwork by five Sierra Nevada College and University of Nevada, Reno master of fine arts candidates. M-F, 8am5pm through 9/29. Free. 885 E. Musser St., Carson City, www.arts-initiative.org.

FRONT DOOR GALLERY, CHURCH FINE ARTS BUILDING, UNIVERSITY OF NEVADA, RENO: Brett Flanigan. The first show in University Galleries’ new mural series features mural art by the Oaklandbased artist. M-F through 11/11. Free. 1664 N. Virginia St., (775) 784-6658.

HOLLAND PROJECT MICRO GALLERY AT BIBO COFFEE CO.: Pink Cheeks, Local artist Megan Lynch’s exhibition features bright and bold illustrations showcasing women of all different shapes and colors. M-Su through 9/30. Free. 945 Record St., (775) 348-8087, www.hollandreno.org.

DOWNTOWN LIBRARY STORY TIME: Stories and activities especially for the preschool child. Tu, 10:30am. Free. Downtown Reno Library, 301 S. Center St., (775) 327-8312.

FAMILY FUN NIGHT: HISPANIC HERITAGE: Celebrate National Hispanic Heritage Month with stories and songs in Spanish.

W, 9/28, 5-6pm. Free. Northwest Reno Library, 2325 Robb Drive, (775) 787-4100.

Advice Goddess & Red Meat continued on page 34 More listings on page 35

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ON ART & DINING! Crafted Palette is a Specialty Coffee Shop, featuring Temple Coffee, by morning with a light breakfast, light lunch, and a Paint & Sip venue by evening. Catering to the evergrowing demand of unique entertainment in downtown Reno.At Crafted Palette we want you to have a fabulous time, without worrying about how your Masterpiece will come out. Bring your friends or family, grab a drink and get started! We also have a light menu to snack on, while you get your paint and sip on! Who could ask for more?!

Crafted Palette 130 West Street Reno, Nevada 89501 Hours: Coffee Hours: 6:30am – 3pm *For our painting hours please check calendar of events: http://craftedpalette.com/calendar/

by AMY ALKON

3

$ 00

Crafted Palette: $5 gift certificates for just $3

raditional Greek Foods for Lunch & Dinner Voted Best Greek Food in Northern Nevada in the Reno News & Review Reader Poll every year since 2010.

Nikos Greek Kitchen serves the very best in traditional Greek food including appetizing gyros, flavorful grilled souvlaki and fresh salads.

Now, with two locations of delicious Greek Cuisine for your pleasure.

Open daily at 11:30am

5

$ 00

Nikos Greek Kitchen: $10 gift certificates for just $5

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Loaf actually I’m a 35-year-old woman, and my boyfriend of a year is 43. Sadly, my friends and family don’t like him. They think he’s “not good enough” for me. Their argument: He doesn’t have a full-time job with benefits (like me), plus he smokes pot to relax, therefore, he is lazy and will live off me and my retirement money. He has a part-time job he likes, makes enough to pay his bills in a (small) house he owns, and saves for things he wants. He is loving, has my back to an unreasonable degree and says he’s pretty sure he used up all his luck getting me. Unfortunately, all minds are made up—there’s no explaining what a deeply good man he is. I feel awkward bringing him to gatherings or even mentioning him. The worst, though, is my nagging question: Could they be right?

He does sound like a good man—which doesn’t necessarily mean he’s a good man to make a life with (which is why everybody’s campaigning for you to ditch him). Maybe you’re thinking, “OK, so he’s kind of a laid-back dude. It’s 2016. Can’t the woman be the breadwinner?” Well, yes … but his lack of drive is likely to be a problem—at least eventually.

Evolutionary developmental psychologist Bruce J. Ellis explains that there’s this notion by some social scientists—called the “structural powerlessness hypothesis”—that women only go for powerful men because they themselves lack power. This, Ellis writes, is “directly contradicted” by research—on feminist leaders, for example—that finds that “highpower women (want) super-powerful men.” They aren’t all, “Well, I make plenty of money; I think I’ll marry Hot Julio, the pool boy.”

As for why this is, Ellis explains, as I often do, that ancestral women who went for mover-andshaker men were more likely to have children who survived and passed on their genes. “Over evolutionary time,” he writes, “evaluative mechanisms” were built into female psychology to push women “to detect and prefer males” with a “willingness and ability” to provide for them and their children.

A guy doesn’t necessarily have to be rich for you to get your “man with mate value!” box checked.

What seems to matter is potential—that he is

ambitious and has a reasonable shot at achieving what he’s going after.

Now, maybe you went for your sweet underachiever as a reaction to jerks in your recent past—or because it’s supposedly “shallow” to want a partner to be, say, at least a certain height or making some kind of mark in business. But, using the height example, if you really aren’t attracted to shorter guys, getting involved with one is basically benevolent cruelty. Sooner or later, your libido’s going to be all, “OK, so you got drunk and went home with the garden gnome. But enough is enough.”

It is possible that you and Laid-Back Larry could live happily ever after. But ask yourself some questions: Where do you see yourself in five years?

Could you count on him to put down the bong and go make money if you got sick? Will your friends and family come to accept him, or will you end up unhappily isolated? And finally, do you want kids?

If so, consider that you can downscale your lifestyle, but you can’t downscale your kid from needing dental care or hand him makeshift forceps to take the toy truck out of his nose. Sure, this guy would probably be the ideal stay-at-home dad. But consider—in line with what Ellis explains—that a number of studies find that women married to a Mr. Mom often end up resenting and losing respect for him, and those marriages are more likely to end in divorce.

You probably need some time to figure all of this out. Because people read the words in letters (instead of yelling over them), maybe write one to your family to ask them to be kind to him at family functions—for your sake. And finally, try not to be so dramatic about your options. You’re 35. The fertility train might be leaving the station pretty soon, but it’s not like this guy is your last chance before “Marriage is between a woman and her cat!” and “P.S. Snowball and I are registered at Bloomingdale’s and Petco.” Ω

Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave., No. 280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com).

listings continued from page 33

JOT TRAVIS BUILDING, UNIVERSITY OF NEVADA, RENO: BFA Thesis Exhibition: Clinton & Wohletz. Bachelor of fine arts students Austin Clinton and Erin Wohletz showcase their works as part of their thesis exhibition, located in the Student Galleries South, Jot Travis Building. Tu-F, 11am-4pm through 10/6. Opens 9/27. Free.

1664 N. Virginia St., (775) 784-6837.

NORTHWEST RENO LIBRARY: Art Reception, Meet local artist Gregg Willison, who creates unique pastel and oil imagery that is highly personal, yet universal in nature.

Sa, 9/24, 2-3pm. Free. 2325 Robb Drive, (775) 787-4100.

OXS GALLERY, NEVADA ARTS COUNCIL: Mi Casa es Mi Casa. In the Nevada Arts Council’s latest OXS Gallery exhibit, Justin Favela looks at the idea of “home.” The native Nevadan pays homage to his Guatemalan maternal grandmother by recreating objects found in her home. Objects that have been part of the domestic landscape for his entire life have helped form his identity and in the exhibition, represent the love he has for his grandmother and her home. M-F, 8am-5pm through 10/14. Free. 716 N. Carson St., Ste. A, Carson City, (775) 687-6680.

SHEPPARD CONTEMPORARY GALLERY, CHURCH FINE ARTS BUILDING, UNIVERSITY OF NEVADA, RENO: J. Antoni & S. Petronio: Honey Baby. As part of Janine Antoni and Stephen Petronio’s first visual collaboration, “Honey Baby” is a video of a folding, tumbling body within a honey-filled environment. Through an aesthetically aligned approach, the artists explore states of physical intensity, unleashing visceral and emotional responses through collaborative work. Tu-F, noon4pm through 10/22. Free. 1664 N. Virginia St., (775) 784-6658.

SPARKS HERITAGE MUSEUM: Show Your Colors. Sparks Museum & Cultural Center presents the work of Sierra Watercolor Society artists. A portion of art sales benefit the Sparks Museum. An artists’ reception will be held on Sept.

24. Tu-Sa through 10/1. Free. 814 Victorian Ave., Sparks, (775) 355-1144.

STREMMEL GALLERY: Mike Berg and Marc Katano. Stremmel Gallery presents an exhibition of new works featuring Berg’s tapestries and Katano’s works on paper.

M-Sa through 10/1. Free. 1400 S. Virginia St., (775) 786-0558.

TAHOE GALLERY AT SIERRA NEVADA COLLEGE: When The Road Was A River. Recent works from alumni and 2015 POD Award recipient Tom Letson. M-F through 9/23; Th, 9/22, 5-7pm. 999 Tahoe Blvd., Incline Village, (775) 831-1314.

Call for artists CALL FOR ART: OCTOBER POP-UP SHOW: Pitch Black Printing Company will host an alien-themed Halloween pop-up show on Oct. 22. Artists of all genres are encouraged to submit work with an alienrelated, Halloween theme. Visit website for details. M-Su through 9/24. Pitch Black Printing Company, 1108 California Ave., www.pitchblackprintingco.com.

MuseuMs FOURTH WARD SCHOOL MUSEUM: The Comstock Through Time. This exhibit highlights some of the history of the Comstock through photographs and personal accounts. Then-and-now photographs help to emphasize the changes in the community and surrounding area.

Books, journal entries and oral histories will give the visitor a first-hand account of daily life. M-Su, 10am-5pm through 10/31. $5 adults, $3 for children ages 6-16, free for children age 5 and younger.

537 S. C St., Virginia City, (775) 847-0975, http://fourthwardschool.org.

LAKE MANSION: Free Guided Tours at the Lake Mansion. The Lake Mansion is one of the few residences in the area that is listed on the Nevada State Register of Historic Places and the National Register of Historic Places that is also open to the public to explore. F, noon through 12/31.

Free. 250 Court St., (775) 826-6100.

NEVADA MUSEUM OF ART: Leiko Ikemura:

Poetics of Form, W-Su through 1/15; Anthony McCall: Swell, W-Su through 1/8; Ai Weiwei—Circle of Animals/Zodiac Heads: Gold, W-Su through 10/23; Dennis Parks: Land, Language and Clay, W-Su through 1/8; Robert Adams: Around the House, W-Su through 12/11; Ugo Rondinone: Seven Magic Mountains, W-Su through 5/11; Trevor Paglen: Orbital Reflector, W-Su through 12/31; Tilting the Basin: Contemporary Art of Nevada, W-Su through 10/23; Andrea Zittel: Wallsprawl, W-Su through 12/31; Contemporary Nevada: State of the State, W-Su through 10/23. $1-$10. 160 W. Liberty St., (775) 329-3333, www.nevadaart.org.

WILBUR D. MAY MUSEUM, RANCHO SAN RAFAEL REGIONAL PARK: Married to Adventure. The safari-themed exhibition tells the story of Martin and Osa Johnson—daring naturalists, filmmakers, photographers, explorers and American heroes of the 1910s-1930s.

This exhibition is on loan from the Safari Museum in Chanute, Kansas and features more than 100 original photographs, movie posters and artifacts that capture the romance and adventure that characterized Martin and Osa’s life together. W-Su through 10/30. $8-$9. 1595 N. Sierra St., (775) 785-5961.

MusiC PIPES ON THE RIVER: The Friday lunchtime concert series features guest artists performing on the church’s Casavant pipe organ. F, noon. Free. Trinity Episcopal Church, 200 Island Ave., (775) 329-4279, www.trinityreno.org.

THE STEELDRIVERS: The award-winning quintet blends bluegrass and music born from other genres creating a repertoire of soulful emotion using the banjo and mandolin. F, 9/23, 7:30pm. $25-$35.

Nightingale Concert Hall, Church Fine Arts Building, University of Nevada, Reno, 1335 N. Virginia St., (775) 322-1538.

sports & fitness GALENA CREEK GUIDED HIKE: Join a naturalist along one of the Galena Park trails and learn about the area. Bring water, sunscreen and hiking boots. Sa, 10am. $5 suggested donation. Galena Creek Visitor Center, 18250 Mt. Rose Highway, (775) 849-4948.

9/25:

Galena Fest

Great Basin Institute presents the eighth annual festival featuring the Bloody Rose Mountain Bike Race and Wicked Thorn Trail Run, as well as a trail walk, a kids’ run, Art in the Park, beer garden, food trucks and live music by Escalade. Race entry fees are $10-$45. Admission is free for spectators. All proceeds from this event go toward funding outdoor recreation and education opportunities. The festival take place from 7:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. on Sunday, Sept. 25, at Galena Creek Regional Park, 18350 Mt. Rose Highway. Visit http://renogalenafest.com.

onstage ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE: Reno Little Theater presents Henrik Ibsen’s drama, adapted

by Arthur Miller, about a small town physician’s determination to stand by his convictions and tell the truth despite threats and social ostracization. Th,

9/22, 7:30pm; F, 9/23, 7:30pm; Sa, 9/24, 7:30pm; Su, 9/25, 2pm. $22 adults, $18

seniors, military, $15 students, $12 kids age 12 and younger. Reno Little Theater, 147 E. Pueblo St., (775) 813-8900.

GOSPEL ACCORDING TO FIRST SQUAD: This drama, set in the year 2009, takes place primarily at a small U.S. Army outpost at the mouth of Afghanistan’s deadly Korengal Valley where a squad of battlehardened soldiers anxiously awaits their imminent return to the United States.

The play contains graphic language, violence and the use of blank firearms.

Not suitable for young children. Merry War Theatre Group will donate a portion of the proceeds to the Northern Nevada Veteran’s Resource Center. Th, 9/22,

6:30pm; F, 9/23, 6:30pm; Sa, 9/24, 8:30pm; Th, 9/29, 6:30pm; F, 9/30, 6:30pm; Sa, 10/1, 8:30pm. $10-$15. Potentialist Workshop, 836 E. Second St., (775) 848-9892.

VOICES OF THE PAST CEMETERY TOUR: Funtime Theater presents its annual ghostly walking tour to raise funds for the Silver Terrace Cemetery’s restoration. Sa, Su, 10am & 1pm through 10/9.

Opens 9/24. $15 adults, $10 students, seniors. Silver Terrace Cemetery, North E and Carson streets, Virginia City, http://funtimetheater.com.

Classes ACRYLIC PAINTING IN THE STYLE OF HOCKNEY: This beginner-level class will examine the work of David Hockney, considered one of the most influential British artists of the 20th century. His work is reflective of the synesthetic colors he sees in response to musical stimuli. Tu, 9/27, noon-2:30pm. $35.

Atelier Truckee, 10128 Donner Pass Road, Truckee, www.ateliertruckee.com.

CoMMunity

THE BASICS: MEMORY LOSS, DEMENTIA AND ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE: Learn about the differences between normal aging and dementia, the basics of Alzheimer’s disease and related disorders, the diagnostic process and management of the disease. Learn about resources offered by the Alzheimer’s Association, keys for planning for the future and how family members and caregivers can help the person with dementia. Tu, 9/27, 1:30-3pm.

Free. Cordone Non-Profit Center, 1301 Cordone Ave., (800) 272-3900.

CHEESE-MAKING WORKSHOP: This workshop will be taught by Restaurant Trokay owner Nyna Weatherson, former head cheesemonger at the famous Greenwich Village cheese shop, Murray’s.

Weatherson will pass on her vast knowledge of cheese and skill guiding students through the mozzarella-making process.

All supplies included. Su, 9/25, noon1:30pm. $75. Trokay, 10046 Donner Pass Road, Truckee, www.ateliertruckee.com.

GESTURAL INK PAINTING: Participants will begin by making loose large gestural marks with inks on paper. Artist Diana Fayt will walk you through the steps of laying the ink down on paper, in a gestural way, and then show you how to layer images and color on top of your “blobs,” creating one of a kind ink paintings. This class is for all levels. Beginners are welcome. All supplies are included in this workshop. Sa, 9/24, 10am-1pm. $85.

Atelier Truckee, 10128 Donner Pass Road, Truckee, www.ateliertruckee.com.

JIMMY BEANS WOOL KNIT NIGHT: Join local and visiting fiber enthusiasts for an evening of knitting and crocheting. Fourth Th of every month, 6-8pm. Free. Jimmy Beans Wool, 1312 Capital Blvd., Ste. 103, (775) 827-9276.

BEGINNING WEST COAST SWING LESSON: West Coast swing dancing sponsored by High Sierra Swing Dance Club. Preceded by a lesson by Tim Renner in beginning West Coast swing at 6pm. No partner necessary for either activity. Tu, 6-8pm through 12/1. $8. El Charro Avitia, 4389 S. Carson St., Carson City, www.hssdc.org.

CANCER SUPPORT GROUP: This group is for patients and families facing cancer and is facilitated by an oncology social worker who is skilled in the emotional aspects of cancer. Participants can share experiences and express feelings and concerns. The support group meets in the Orthopedic Conference Room on the third floor of the Roseview Tower. Th, 11:30am-1pm. Renown Regional Medical Center, 1155 Mill St., (775) 982-6831.

CROCHET CONNECTION: Learn to crochet or share tips with other crochet enthusiasts. Th, 4-5:45pm. Spanish Springs Library, 7100A Pyramid Lake Highway, Spanish Springs, (775) 424-1800.

DEPRESSION BIPOLAR SUPPORT ALLIANCE: The Reno chapter of the national DBSA meets. Fourth Th of every month, 7-8:30pm.

Renown Health Boardroom, 1495 Mill St., (775) 835-6410.

INTERMEDIATE WEST COAST SWING LESSON: West Coast swing dancing sponsored by High Sierra Swing Dance Club. Preceded by a lesson by Tim Renner in intermediate West Coast swing at 6pm. No partner necessary for either activity. M, 6-9pm through 12/5. $8. El Charro Avitia Restaurant, 4389 S. Carson St., Carson City, (707) 321-3010, www.hssdc.org.

KNITTING GROUP: The group is open to all

LOVE FOR WATERCOLOR: Learn about analogous and complementary colors as well as how to see, recognize and recreate atmosphere through color. F, 9/23, 2-4:30pm. $45. Atelier Truckee, 10128 Donner Pass Road, Truckee, www.ateliertruckee.com.

SUGAR LOVE UNIVERSITY: SLU’s course offerings cover a variety of ideas—from turning inspiration into confection to the history of chocolate through the ages. Learn about the origins of chocolate, its role in commerce and culture and its transformation throughout culinary history.

Each session will feature limited-edition chocolate flavors, complimentary wine, beer or spirits and light hors d’oeuvres.

Students must be at least 21 years old.

Th, 9/22, 7-9pm; Tu, 10/18, 7-9pm; W, 11/16, 7-9pm; Th, 12/15, 7-9pm; Tu, 1/10, 7-9pm; W, 2/8, 7-9pm; Th, 3/9, 7-9pm; Tu, 4/4, 7-9pm; W, 5/10, 7-9pm; Th, 6/15, 7-9pm. $28 for early bird tickets. Sugar Love Chocolates, 50 S. Virginia St., Ste. 11, (800) 479-9830.

knitters, crocheters, loom artists and people who enjoy the company of other yarn artists. Bring your project or start a new one. Tu, 4-6pm through 10/3. Free.

Atelier Truckee, 10128 Donner Pass Road, Truckee, www.ateliertruckee.com.

LIFESCAPES: The memoir-writing program meets. Second and fourth Th of every month, 10:30am. South Valleys Library,

15650A Wedge Parkway, (775) 851-5190.

RENO COIN CLUB MEETING: Reno Coin Club presents Remembering People from the Carson City Mint, a video on the Carson City Mint by Hal Dunn featuring important people that created the mint and helped the mint become a museum. All ages welcome. Early bird prizes, quarter pot, raffle and more. Tu, 9/27, 7-9:30pm.

Free. Denny’s, 205 E. Nugget Ave., Sparks, (775) 815-8625, www.renocoinclub.org.

SOUTH VALLEYS BRIDGE GROUP: Join Jill and meet new friends. Basic bridge knowledge preferred. F, 1-4pm. Free. South Valleys Library, 15650A Wedge Parkway, (775) 851-5190.

WATERCOLOR—LAKE MANSION: This class is designed for beginner to advanced watercolor artists. The teaching artist will have some fall-inspired photos, but bring your own as well. Bring your own beverage/snacks. Tu, 9/27, 5:30pm. $30.

Lake Mansion, 250 Court St., (775) 8266100 ext. 2, www.artsforallnevada.org.

SPARKS LIBRARY KNITTING AND CROCHETING CIRCLE: Join the Sparks Library every Thursday and learn the techniques to start your masterpiece. Th, 4-6pm. Free.

Sparks Library, 1125 12th St., Sparks, (775) 352-3200.

WELCOMING AUTUMN MEDITATION AND JOURNEY: Join shamanic practitioner Diane Hageman of the Om Home, relaxation facilitator Tessa Marie and gong diva Judy Strauss for an evening of relaxation, meditation and shamanic journeys to step fully into the autumn season. F, 9/23, 6-8pm. $15. Bliss, Nevada, 7350 W. Fourth St., www.blissnevada.com.

THE TUESDAY NIGHT YARN CREW: All skill levels and yarn-crafts are welcome.

Bring your project to this “sit and knit” gathering. Tu, 5:30-7pm. Free. South Valleys Library, 15650A Wedge Parkway, (775) 851-5190.

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wild-eyed adventure-seeker with extremist views and melodramatic yearnings, you’ll benefit from taking a moderate approach to life in the coming weeks. In fact, you’re most likely to attract the help and inspiration you need if you adopt the strategy used by Goldilocks in the fairy tale “Goldilocks and the Three Bears”: neither excessive nor underdone, neither extravagant nor restrained, neither bawdy, loud, and in-yourface nor demure, quiet and passive—but rather, just right.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Some of my read-

ers love me but also hate me. They are drawn to my horoscopes in the hope that I will help relieve them of their habitual pain, but then get mad at me when I do just that. In retrospect, they feel lost without the familiar companionship of their habitual pain. It had been a centerpiece of their identity, a source of stability, and when it’s gone, they don’t know who they are anymore. Are you like these people, Taurus? If so, you might want to avoid my horoscopes for a while. I will be engaged in a subtle crusade to dissolve your angst and agitation. And it all starts now with this magic spell: Your wound is a blessing. Discover why.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In my dream last

night, bad guys wearing white hats constrained you in a canvas straitjacket, then further wrapped you up with heavy steel chain secured by three padlocks. They drove you to a weedy field behind an abandoned warehouse and left you there in the pitch dark. But you were indomitable. By dawn, you had miraculously wriggled your way out of your confinement. Then you walked back home, free and undaunted. Here’s my interpretation of the dream: You now have special skills as an escape artist. No cage can hold you. No riddle can stump you. No tangle can confuse you. (P.S. For best results, trust yourself even more than you usually do.)

CANCER (June 21-July 22): The next four weeks

will be a favorable time to come all the way home. Here are nine prompts for how to accomplish that: (1) Nourish your roots. (2) Strengthen your foundations. (3) Meditate about where you truly belong. (4) Upgrade the way you attend to your self-care. (5) Honor your living traditions.

(6) Make a pilgrimage to the land where your ancestors lived. (7) Deepen your intimacy with the earth. (8) Be ingenious about expressing your tenderness. (9) Reinvigorate your commitment to the influences that nurture and support you.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): What tools will work best

for the tasks you’ll be invited to perform in the coming weeks? A sledgehammer or tweezers?

Pruning shears or a sewing machine? A monkey wrench or a screwdriver? Here’s my guess: Always have your entire toolbox on hand.

You may need to change tools in midtask—or even use several tools for the same task. I can envision at least one situation that would benefit from you alternating between a sledgehammer and tweezers.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I’m confident that I

will never again need to moonlight as a janitor or dishwasher in order to pay my bills. My gig as a horoscope columnist provides me with enough money to eat well, so it’s no longer necessary to shoplift bread or scavenge for dented cans of beets in grocery store dumpsters. What accounts for my growing financial luck? I mean besides the fact that I have been steadily improving my skills as an oracle and writer? I suspect it may in part have to do with my determination to cultivate generosity. As I’ve become better at expressing compassion and bestowing blessings, money has flowed to me in greater abundance.

Would this strategy work for you? The coming weeks and months will be a good time to experiment.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Here’s my translation

of a passage from the ancient Gospel of Thomas, a gnostic text about the teachings of Jesus: “If you do not awaken and develop the potential talents that lie within you, they will damage you. If you do awaken and develop the potential talents that lie within you, they will heal you.” Whether you actually awaken and develop those talents or not depends on two things: your ability to

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identify them clearly and your determination to bring them to life with the graceful force of your willpower. I call this to your attention, Libra, because the coming months will be a highly favorable time to expedite the ripening of your talents.

And it all starts now.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You can’t com-

pletely eliminate unhelpful influences and trivial saboteurs and debilitating distractions from your life. But you’re entering a phase of your astrological cycle when you have more power than usual to diminish their effects. To get started in this gritty yet lofty endeavor, try this: Decrease your connection with anything that tends to demean your spirit, shrink your lust for life, limit your freedom, ignore your soul, compromise your integrity, dishonor your reverence, inhibit your self-expressiveness or alienate you from what you love.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Work too

much and push yourself too hard, Sagittarius. Eat corn chips for breakfast, ice cream for lunch and french fries for dinner—every day, if possible.

And please please please get no more than four hours’ sleep per night. If you have any extra time, do arduous favors for friends and intensify your workout routine. Just kidding! Don’t you dare heed any of that ridiculous advice. In fact, I suggest you do just the opposite. Dream up brilliant excuses not to work too much or push too hard.

Treat yourself to the finest meals and best sleep ever. Take your mastery of the art of relaxation to new heights. Right now, the most effective way to serve your long-term dreams is by having as much fun, joy and release as possible.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I propose that

you and I make a deal. Here’s how it would work: For the next three weeks, I will say three prayers for you every day. I will ask God, Fate and Life to send you more of the recognition and appreciation you deserve. I will coax and convince them to give you rich experiences of being seen for who you really are. Now here’s what I ask of you in return: You will rigorously resolve to act on your core beliefs, express your noblest desires and say only what you truly mean. You will be alert for those times when you start to stray from the path with heart, and you will immediately get yourself back on that path. You will be yourself three times stronger and clearer than you have ever been before.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): If you loosen

yourself up by drinking an alcoholic beverage, don’t drive a forklift or ride a unicycle. If you have a hunch that your luck at gambling is peaking, don’t buy lottery tickets or play the slot machines. If you’re drawn to explore the frontiers of intimacy, be armed with the ancient Latin maxim, Primum non nocere, or “First, do no harm.” And if you really do believe it would be fun to play with fire, bring a fire extinguisher with you. In presenting this cautionary advice, I’m not saying that you should never push the limits or bend the rules. But I want to be sure that as you dare to experiment, you remain savvy and ethical and responsible.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I invite you to

explore the healing power of sex. The coming weeks will be a favorable time to do so. You are also likely to generate good fortune for yourself if you try to fix any aspect of your erotic life that feels wounded or awkward. For best results, suspend all your theories about the way physical intimacy should work in your life. Adopting a beginner’s mind could lead you to subtly spectacular breakthroughs. (P.S. You don’t necessarily need a partner to take full advantage of this big opening.)

You can call Rob Brezsny for your Expanded Weekly Horoscope: (900) 950-7700. $1.99 per minute. Must be 18+. Touchtone phone required. Customer service (612) 373-9785. And don’t forget to check out Rob’s website at www.realastrology.com.

by BRAD BYNUm

Singer

We can’t let oil companies rule our world with profit and greed. We can’t sit idly by and leave a destroyed, sick planet for future generations.

Local singer-songwriter Elspeth Summers just released a new album, Round & Round. For more information, visit www.elspethsummers. com.

You took a couple of years off from music. Why was that? What brought you back?

So, new album out?

The album starts with a spoken word track. Tell me about that.

Absolutely. The goal with my music is that I want to be a voice for Mother Earth. I want to be a voice for preserving all the beauty we have around us. I want to crack the listener open. I want to touch people’s souls and hearts and inspire them to be

PHOTO/KriS Vagner

Yes. I took about two years off of music.

My first EP came out in December, 2014.

And I had a producer in Canada for that one. That was basically produced by an independent party. So, this album, I decided that I wanted to do it on my own and really create something that I felt reflected me completely. So I made the album, recorded everything on my own, all the vocals, all the guitar. My boyfriend James [Coleman II] helped quite a bit with the mixing and the recording. ... A guy up in Canada who played violin on my first record contributed, and a few other people from across the country, and then Gina Rose, who’s also a Reno musician sang harmony on four of them. So, I got the parts, mixed everything myself, and then had the album mastered by Rick [Spagnola] at Dogwater Studios in Sparks.

b ra d b @ne w s re v i e w . c o m

better people and love our planet. So I wanted to start and end the album with spoken word tracks, so I could start it with a profound message, something that made the listener think, and was a prelude to what my music is about, and what I’m about as an activist trying to create change through my music and my art.

You described yourself as an activist. What issues?

Environmental issues are my biggest concern. I grew up with hippie parents, so I spent a lot of my childhood in nature. Most of my summers we would go camping in Markleeville. I grew up in Gardnerville and Tahoe. I grew up in nature. I feel like my purpose is to bring awareness to the fact that Mother Earth gives us everything. All of our abundance comes from nature, comes from the planet. We have to speak up about that.

Well, I had a full band, Elspeth Summers & the Sage Bandits, and I was touring quite a bit across the West Coast—Oregon, Washington, Idaho—and I was performing a lot, and it didn’t feel right. I wasn’t happy performing in bars everywhere. I wasn’t happy being a car for so many hours of the day. Music became this thing that I had to do for money and because I felt obligated, because I had all these shows, and all these tour dates. I got burned out— bottom line. I got burned out, and I wasn’t happy. Not just with music but with where I was personally. I wasn’t happy. And the band broke up, and it broke my heart. I took that time off because I didn’t want to touch my guitar. I didn’t want to sing.

And then, making this album, I had a lot of motivation from my boyfriend to do it on my own. Because there’s a lot of stigma in the music industry that you have to go to a professional studio, and you have to do A-B-C, if you want to be successful.

You can’t make an independent album if you want to be successful. But I said, “Oh, wait. I can do this on my own. I can.” And through the process of writing the album, I regained my love and my passion because I was creating something that was true to me. It wasn’t for someone else. Ω

by BRUCE VAN DYKE

Vote against Just for the record, I want you to know I harbor no illusions—none whatsoever—as to my ability to impact, in even the tiniest way, this election. This is because I’m well aware of two important factoids.

One—the number of Republicans who read This Space for political direction is equal to the number of polar bears in Pyramid Lake. Two— so called “swing voters” read my stuff as often as Republicans.

I accept this readily and without complaint. It’s just fine that approximatly 100 percent of my readers are already seated in the Clinton Choir, knowing that when they read my stuff, they’ll be getting political observations from a guy just to the left of Lady Gaga.

In the last few months, I’ve been approaching Trump as a clown (el payaso!) with no chance. But now, with polls narrowing, I’ve had to reconsider—and it’s slightly terrifying. It brings to mind the words

of the late Comstock newsman Travus T. Hipp, who warned me back in ’00 that Dubya was gonna be a tragically horrible POTUS. And, of course, TTH was spot on.

Now, I’m considering the possibility that Trump could actually win, and I get the firm, unshakable feeling that this is a guy who could make Dubya the Decider look like Teddy Freakin’ Roosevelt.

Especially after seeing a particularly sobering segment on Rachel Maddow’s show recently about this fucking frog meme mascot called Pepe, who’s now all over the web wearing SS hats and sporting a Hitler mustache, and he’s become the darling of the newly named “alt right” demo (translation: skinheads, Nazis, racist pukes) and I’m wondering how many dirtbags are out there who now feel safe to crawl out from under their rocks, spew their incredibly toxic bullshit, and then—vote.

But maybe I can help. Just maybe. (1) Vote. Just do it. No complacency! Especially with super convenient early voting, it’ll take all of five to 10 minutes. (2) Millennials, you have to up your game. The number of millennials who can vote in this election is now the same as us old fart baby boomers, about 69 million in each group. Yet, in 2012, 69 percent of BBs voted, compared to a paltry 46 percent of millennials, and that simply ain’t gonna cut it, M peeps! You’ve got to do your part to thwart the dreams of El Presidente Payaso Peligroso (Dangerous Clown President).

Whatever lameass excuse you had to not vote, just realize that’s exactly what it was. A lameass excuse. You fucked off four years ago. OK, fine. Now, it’s time to put on your big-person pants and be a real citizen and save the country from what could be a very unfunny punchline. Ω

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