Advice Goddess

Slight of hand

My boyfriend mistakenly sent me a text meant for somebody else—a real estate agent with my same first name who’s showing him apartments. This made me feel like I’m unimportant—easily confused with just anybody—and I got really upset. Of course, I know that he was just busy and multitasking. And despite knowing that he really loves me, I blow up like this a lot.

Assuming your boyfriend isn’t 11, “do u have any openings?” isn’t a sex question.

Your boyfriend’s mix-up was the sleep-eating version of texted communication. You ultimately know that, but no sooner did you get that text than your feelings started hammering on you. It’s like they were waiting to do it— like those people in folding chairs with umbrellas lined up outside some concert ticket venue. Pound! Pound! Pound! “My watch says 10:31! What the eff?!”

Because fear comes up fast and there’s all this energy behind it, it’s easy to believe it’s telling you something you need to hear—and follow. But it helps to understand what neuroscience has discovered—that emotions are automatic reactions to something in your environment. They rise up out of a sea of biochemicals without your doing a thing. It’s not like you have to nag, “Hey, life-sucking depression, you never visit anymore.” Rational thought, however, takes work. You have to coax it up and give it an assignment, and then (lazy bastard) it right away starts pushing for a nap.

It is possible to pull reason into the mix before your emotions drag your boyfriend off for a beating. This takes pre-planning—and the use, in the moment, of a technique called “cognitive reappraisal,” which involves reinterpreting your emotion-driven view of a situation in less emotional terms. Basically, you explore the boring alternatives. Say your boyfriend’s slow in texting you back. So … lack of respect (boohoo!)—or lack of phone, because the dodohead dropped it in the toilet again?

This isn’t to say your alternate explanation is correct. But the immediate goal of cognitive reappraisal is not judging the truth, the whole truth, blah, blah, blah. Through your considering alternate possibilities, cognitive neuroscientist Jason Buhle and his colleagues find that you divert the action in your brain from the stress and anxiety department (Freakout Central) to the thinky parts—like the prefrontal cortex. This allows reason to put on its Coke-bottle glasses and have a closer look at what’s really going on. This, in turn, will keep you from contributing to the notion many men have that we women are operating on one flickering bar of rationality. The way they see it, we have our marching orders—and we get them from outer space, via our hair accessories.

Amazing graze

I’ve been married for seven years, and I’m cheating on my husband. I’ve heard that if you’re cheating, it’s because something’s missing in your relationship. But my husband is fantastic. I love him. I just long for something new and different. Help.

Marriage vows are annoyingly comprehensive. Take that “Forsaking all others…” thing. Do they really mean “allll others”? Even that hot guy in board shorts in spin class?

There are people who are under the impression that life should be COMPLETELY FUN AND EXCITING AT ALL TIMES. We call them 5-year-olds. The grown-up view acknowledges that the typical day includes a good deal of bummer management and that choices in life require making trade-offs. Marriage, for example, gives you intimacy, security and tax breaks—with the downside that the nookie tends to lack the zing of boning some hot stranger in the self-help section at Barnes & Noble.

To understand how unfair you’re being to your husband, don’t just look at your cheating in sexual terms. You’re doing what neuroeconomists and anthropologists call “free-riding”—sucking up the benefits of a situation while ducking the costs. Meanwhile, if you get cancer and all of your hair falls out and getting to the toilet feels like the third leg of a triathlon, the man carrying you there will for sure be the one you meet for nooners at the motel.

As for what’s missing, you have no motivation to heat up your marriage if you’re getting your heat on the side. But a relatively new area of research—embodied cognition—finds that action drives emotion, meaning that if you keep acting loving and passionate, the feelings are likely to follow. You also jazz things up by being surprising and going a little crazy—in good ways. As the country song goes, “Sing like you don’t need the money … dance like nobody’s watchin’”—but have extramarital sex like there’s a private detective across the street with a lens the size of something NASA puts into space. Ω

Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave., No. 280, Santa Monica,CA 90405, or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com).

and graphic art. The themes upon which Italian-American filmmakers have concentrated include family, community, immigration, assimilation. Their films explore the American Dream in all its ramifications and contradictions. Th-Su, noon-5pm through 9/18.

Free. 442 Flint St., (775) 333-0310. CARSON CITY COURTHOUSE GALLERY: For Detail

View. Capital City Arts Initiative presents work by artist Jeff Hantman. Hantman creates his wood sculptures using found wood objects and printmaking techniques. Rather than removing paint and sanding for smooth surfaces, he keeps the old paint, shelf paper and scratches as a history in each piece of wood he finds. He alters it with additional wood pieces, images and color to enhance the story as he builds a new sculpture. M-F, 8am-5pm through 5/25.

Free. 885 E. Musser St., Carson City, www. arts-initiative.org. FRONT DOOR GALLERY, CHURCH FINE ARTS

BUILDING, UNIVERSITY OF NEVADA, RENO:

Brett Flanigan. The first show in University Galleries’ new mural series features mural art by the Oakland-based artist. M-F through 11/11. Free. 1664 N. Virginia St., (775) 7846658.

HOLLAND PROJECT MICRO GALLERY AT BIBO

COFFEE CO.: National Monuments Part 2.

Artist Thomas Vincent Chapel uses symbolically charged American flags as a way of starting a dialogue about outsourcing, globalism and the rigid dichotomy between pride and protest. M-Su through 4/8. Free. 945 Record St., (775) 348-8087. HOLMAN ARTS & MEDIA CENTER, SIERRA NEVADA

COLLEGE: From the Lens of Eleanor Preger.

Preger’s photographs capture the art, people and environment of Burning Man— living life, capturing images and making friends with photos, one Burning Man at a time. The exhibit is on view in the Ron and

Maureen Ashley Community Gallery. The VIP reception is on April 5, 5-6pm. The artist talk follows from 6-7:30pm. M-Sa, 9am-5pm through 4/8. 1008 Highway 28, Incline Village, (775) 831-1314. JOT TRAVIS BUILDING, UNIVERSITY OF NEVADA,

RENO: Mahsan Ghazianzad: Beyond Narrative. Ghazianzad, a master of fine arts candidate at the University of Nevada, Reno, will present her thesis exhibition at Student Galleries South. The reception is at 5pm on April 14. Tu-F, 11am-4pm through 4/21. Opens

4/12. Free. 1664 N. Virginia St., (775) 784-6837. MATHEWSON-IGT KNOWLEDGE CENTER,

UNIVERSITY OF NEVADA, RENO: Media

Technology: Past & Present. Visitors will enjoy a visual display of media technological leaps through this exhibit on display in the

Whittemore Gallery of the Mathewson-IGT

Knowledge Center. M-Su through 6/30. Free. 1664 N. Virginia St., (775) 784-4636. METRO GALLERY AT RENO CITY HALL: Order and

Chaos: A Marriage in Reno. The Reno Arts & Culture Commission presents artwork from Los Angeles-based visual artist Avery Falkner. His paintings are permeated with bold forms, rich colors and unusual textures. M-F, 9am-5pm through 4/15. Free. 1 E.

First St., (775) 334-2417. SHEPPARD CONTEMPORARY GALLERY, CHURCH

FINE ARTS BUILDING, UNIVERSITY OF NEVADA,

RENO: Beautiful Soil: Ceramics from Ancient China, The exhibit features Chinese ceramics from various dynasties and spanning centuries, demonstrating the rich and diverse tradition of object-making in ancient China. M-F through 4/8; Brendan Tang: Souvenirs from Earth, Tang’s sculptures integrate references to Ming dynasty ceramic forms, Japanese anime and manga, art-pop, Asian import goods for the aristocratic French high-society and robotic prosthetics. Tu-Sa, 10am-8pm through 4/8.

Free. 664 N. Virginia St., (775) 784-6658. STREMMEL GALLERY: Tom Judd: Home on the Range. Philadelphia-based artist Tom

Judd’s current body of work focuses on the American notion of Manifest Destiny, the obsession with the myth surrounding

America’s history and his love of the epic

American landscape. Tu-Sa through 4/16.

Free. 1400 S. Virginia St., (775) 786-0558.

Call for Artists

CALL TO TEEN ARTISTS: NEW BEGINNINGS: The

Holland Project Micro Gallery is seeking art submissions to be included in a group exhibition that showcases local teen artists. The exhibition will run May 23–June 17 with an opening reception on Saturday, May 28, from 5:30-7:30pm. Visit website for details. M-Su through 5/13. Free. Holland Project Micro Gallery at Bibo Coffee Co., 945 Record St., (775) 742-1858, www.hollandreno.org.

Museums

NATIONAL AUTOMOBILE MUSEUM (THE HARRAH

COLLECTION): SpaceMobiles: From Rockets and

Rovers to Cars on Mars. This exhibit takes a look at America’s fascination with exploring new frontiers and the machines that make it possible. M-Su through 4/11; Science

Saturday at the Auto Museum, The National

Auto Museum offers this new educational and interactive program at on the second

Saturday of each month. Sa, 4/9, 11am-4pm. $4-$10, free for members and children age 5 and younger. 10 S. Lake St., (775) 333-9300, www.automuseum.org. NEVADA MUSEUM OF ART: Altered Landscape:

Photographs of a Changing Environment.

W-Su through 4/17; Andrea Zittel: Wallsprawl.

W-Su through 12/31; The Horse, W-Su through 7/3; Andy Diaz Hope & Jon Bernson:

Beautification Machine, W-Su through 7/24;

The E.L. Wiegand Collection: Representing the Work Ethic in American Art, W-Su through 4/17; Daniel Douke: Extraordinary, W-Su through 4/24; Monuments & DeLIMITations:

Projects by David Taylor and Marcos

Ramírez ERRE, W-Su through 4/17; Don

Dondero: A Photographic Legacy, W-Su through 7/10; Cedra Wood: A Residency on

Earth, W-Su through 5/15. $1-$10. 160 W.

Liberty St., (775) 329-3333. SPARKS HERITAGE MUSEUM: Latimer Art Club

Exhibit. The group exhibition of artwork by members of the Latimer Art Club will feature paintings by local artists in a wide variety of mediums. An exhibit reception will be held from 4pm to 7pm on April 8. Tu-F, 11am-4pm through 5/27; Sa, 1-4pm through 5/28; Hidden in Plain Sight: The Basques. The exhibit tells

of the unique origins, language and history of the Basque people, along with their contributions throughout history. Hidden in Plain Sight: The Basques is a traveling exhibit from the Basque Museum & Cultural Center in Boise, Idaho. Sa, 1-4pm through 5/14; Tu-F, 11am-4pm through 5/13. $5 or free

for museum members. 814 Victorian Ave., Sparks, (775) 355-1144.

Film

DIALOG AND A MOVIE: EXPERIMENTER: The

Research Integrity Office at the University of Nevada, Reno hosts a showing of the film,

Experimenter, The Stanley Milgram Story, and a discussion of research ethics. W, 4/13, 5:30pm. Free. Joe Crowley Student Union

Theater, University of Nevada Reno, 1664 N.

Virginia St., (775) 327-2373. MOVIE NIGHT: SOCIETY: This 1989 American horror film by Brian Yuzna stars Billy Warlock,

Devin DeVasquez, Evan Richards and Ben

Meyerson. W, 4/13, 8:30pm. $2.50. Psychedelic

Ballroom and Juke Joint (PB&J’s), 555 E.

Fourth St., (775) 322-4348.

Music

ARGENTA CONCERT SERIES: GLORIOUS SEXTET:

The seventh performance in the Argenta Concert Series features the Chamber Music Society of Lincoln Center. The Society and Argenta’s co-artistic director cellist Dmitri Atapine will join forces in a program featuring the Capriccio by Richard Strauss, Dvorak’s String Sextet in A major and the String Sextet in G major by Johannes Brahms. M, 4/11, 7:30pm. $5-$30. Nightingale Concert Hall, Church Fine Arts Building, University of Nevada, Reno, 1335 N. Virginia St., (775) 784-4278.

Reno Aces Season Opener

The minor league baseball team takes on the El Paso Chihuahuas in the first home games of the season. The opening night festivities on Thursday, April 7, include a ceremonial first pitch and two autograph sessions with television personality Johnny Bananas who starred on MTV’s The Challenge and The Real World. Pre-game highlights include a helicopter entrance by Aces mascot, Archie, and a performance by the cast of Eldorado Resort Casino’s Footloose the Musical. During team introductions, players also will be accompanied by local Olympians from Special Olympics Nevada. The first pitch is scheduled at 6:35 p.m. The Reno Aces will play the El Paso Chihuahuas through the weekend, April 8-10. General admission tickets are $9 for adults and $8 for kids under age 12, seniors over age 62 and military personnel. The games take place at the Greater Nevada Field (formerly Reno Aces Ballpark), 250 Evans Ave. Call 334-7000 or visit www.renoaces.com.

—Kelley Lang

L-CUBED: LOOK, LUNCH, LISTEN: This free

concert series features performances by University of Nevada, Reno classical and jazz music students and faculty. W, noon through 4/27. Free. Randall Rotunda,

Mathewson-IGT Knowledge Center,

University of Nevada, Reno, 1664 N. Virginia

St., (775) 784-4278, www.unr.edu/arts. A NIGHT TO IMAGINE: Northern California bluegrass/southern rock/jam band Poor Man’s

Whiskey performs original music and an extended set covering Paul Simon’s classic album Graceland at the seventh annual benefit concert for Community Chest, Inc.

F, 4/8, 7:30pm. $50. Piper’s Opera House, 12

N. B St., Virginia City, (775) 847-0541 ext. 201, http://communitychestnevada.net. PIPES ON THE RIVER: The Friday lunchtime concert series features guest artists performing on the church’s Casavant pipe organ.

F, noon. Free. Trinity Episcopal Church, 200

Island Ave., (775) 329-4279, www.trinityreno.org. SALUTE TO HOLLYWOOD: P’Opera! celebrates 77 years of memorable movie music in their program “Salute To Hollywood.” There are two shows at 5 pm and 7:30pm. Order your food and beverages separately through

The Bridge Restaurant & Bar. Su, 4/10, 5 & 7:30pm. $30. The Bridge Restaurant & Bar, 425 S. Virginia St., www.poperanv.org. SEAN MCGUINNESS: The Irish singer-songwriter performs as part of the BAC Celtic Series.

Sa, 4/9, 7-9pm. $10 BAC members, $12 senior, students, $15 general. Maizie Jesse Harris

Black Box Theatre, Brewery Arts Center, 449 W. King St., Carson City, (775) 883-1976, www.breweryarts.org. SPRING MUSIC SERIES: Nibblers performs on the deck at Alpine Meadows. Sa, 4/9, 1-4pm.

Free with advance lift tickets. Squaw Valley

Resort, 1960 Squaw Valley Road, Olympic

Valley, (800) 403-0206. WEEKLY DRUM CIRCLE: Bring your drum, your didgeridoo, poi, hoops and silk or just yourself and enjoy the soothing sounds of the Morris Drum Circle. All are encouraged to participate, dance and play. M, 8:30pm through 7/25. Free. Morris Burner Hotel, 400

E. Fourth St., (775) 327-1171.

Sports & Fitness

GALENA CREEK GUIDED HIKE: Join a naturalist

along one of the Galena Park trails and learn about the area. Bring water, sunscreen, hiking boots or snowshoes (if weather permits.) Sa, 10am through 3/18. $5 suggested dona-

tion. Galena Creek Visitor Center, 18250 Mt.

Rose Highway, (775) 849-4948, www.galenacreekvisitorcenter.org. RENO ACES The minor league baseball team takes on the Albuquerque Isotopes. M, 4/11, 6:35pm; Tu, 4/12, 6:35pm; W, 4/13, 6:35pm. $9

general admission, $8 for military, kids under age 12 and seniors over age 62. Greater Nevada Field, 250 Evans Ave., (775) 334-7000.

Onstage

THE BIG BONANZA: The Nevada Chamber Opera will stage the world premiere production of this new American opera that explores the life of the booming mining town Virginia City in the 1850s. Composer Monica Houghton based her composition on the life of William

Wright, who wrote under the pen name of

Dan De Quille as a Territorial Enterprise reporter. The story revolves around Wright leaving his wife and Midwest farm in search of riches and fame after the discovery of the Comstock Lode in Nevada. F, 4/8, 7:30pm;

Sa, 4/9, 7:30pm; Su, 4/10, 2:30pm. $5-$20.

Nightingale Concert Hall, Church Fine Arts

Building, University of Nevada, Reno, 1335 N.

Virginia St., (775) 784-4278. FORTINBRAS: Reno Little Theater presents

Lee Blessing’s comedy which picks up where Sheakespeare’s Hamlet left off. The

Norwegian prince Fortinbras enters during the last scene of Hamlet only to order the bodies of the royal family shuffled off while he devises the best possible media blitz to legitimize his ascension to the throne of

Denmark. Th, 4/7, 7:30pm; F, 4/8, 7:30pm; Sa, 4/9, 7:30pm; Su, 4/10, 2pm; Th, 4/14, 7:30pm; F, 4/15, 7:30pm; Sa, 4/16, 7:30pm; Su, 4/17, 2pm;

Th, 4/21, 7:30pm; F, 4/22, 7:30pm; Sa, 4/23, 2 &

7:30pm; Su, 4/24, 2pm. $18 general admission, $15 seniors, students, military. Reno Little

Theater, 147 E. Pueblo St., (775) 813-8900, http://renolittletheater.org. THE FROZEN SNOW QUEEN: A.V.A. Ballet Theatre and the Reno Philharmonic Orchestra open their spring gala ballet season with the classic ballet. Sa, 4/9, 8pm; Su, 4/10, 2pm. $25-$40

with discounts for seniors and children. Pioneer Center for the Performing Arts, 100 S. Virginia St., (775) 762-5165.

Classes

ART ADVENTURES AT THE LAKE MANSION:

Budding artists will explore a variety of mediums including drawing, pastels, watercolor and clay. All supplies included. W, 4:305:30pm through 5/18. Opens 4/13. $55. Lake

Mansion, 250 Court St., (775) 826-6100. CHEESE MAKING WORKSHOP: Restaurant Trokay

and Atelier pair up again to bring back their cheese-making course. This workshop will be taught by Restaurant Trokay owner Nyna Weatherson, former head cheesemonger at the world-famous Greenwich Village cheese shop, Murray’s. Students will make their very own batch of mozzarella. All supplies included. Sa, 4/9, 11am-1pm. $75. Trokay, 10046 Donner Pass Road, Truckee, (530) 582-1040, www.ateliertruckee.com.

NGSS BOOT CAMP: The goal of Sierra Nevada

Journeys’ NGSS Boot Camp is to help elementary school teachers better understand and implement Next Generation Science

Standards. Programs include educational workshops, recreation opportunities, night hike and social fun. F, 4/8, 3-6pm. Free for the first 50 teachers. Grizzly Creek Ranch, 5900 Grizzly Road, Portola, (775) 355-1688. T.G.I.A.F—PAINT YOUR PET: Learn a step-by-

step technique using acrylic paint in a fun, social setting. All supplies included. Please bring a couple large photos of your pet and bring your own beverage and snacks. This class takes place in the Garden Pavilion. F, 4/8, 5:30-8:30pm. $30. Lake Mansion, 250 Court St., (775) 826-6100.

Community

CANCER SUPPORT GROUP: This group is for

patients and families facing cancer.

Participants can share experiences and express feelings and concerns. The support group meets weekly on Thursday meets in the Orthopedic Conference Room on the third floor of the Roseview Tower. Th, 11:30am-1pm. Free. Renown Regional Medical

Center, 1155 Mill St., (775) 982-6831. CROCHET CONNECTION: Learn to crochet or share tips with other crochet enthusiasts.

Th, 4-5:45pm. Free. Spanish Springs Library, 7100A Pyramid Lake Highway, Spanish

Springs, (775) 424-1800. KNITTING & CROCHET CLUB: This group is open

to anyone who enjoys knitting or crocheting. Second and Third Sa of every month, 1-3pm.

Free. Northwest Reno Library, 2325 Robb

Drive, (775) 787-4100. KNITTING GROUP: This group is open to all knitters, crocheters, loom artists and yarn artists. Bring your project or start a new one. Pre-registration requested. Tu, 4-6pm through 7/5. Free. Atelier Truckee, 10128

Donner Pass Road, Truckee, (530) 386-2700, www.ateliertruckee.com.

MYSTERY SLEUTHS: Mystery book fans are invited to join this group. Second W of every month, 5:45pm. Free. North Valleys Library, 1075 N. Hills Blvd., Ste. 340, Golden Valley, (775) 972-0281. PFLAG SUPPORT GROUP: PFLAG is made up of parents, families, friends and allies united with people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender. PFLAG is committed to advancing equality and full societal affirmation of LGBT people through its mission of support, education and advocacy. First Th of every month, 5:30pm. Free. Comma Coffee,

312 S. Carson St., Carson City, (775) 220-4151, http://community.pflag.org/cr. RENO SKI AND RECREATION CLUB MEETING:

Active adults are invited to socialize, have dinner and learn about the club’s activities including weekly TGIFs, parties, camping trips, tennis, hikes and ski trips. Tu, 4/12, 5:30-8pm. Free. Lili’s, 2325 Kietzke Lane, www.renoskiandrec.com.

THE SILVER DOLLAR CHORUS: The men’s a cap-

pella chorus is open to males of all ages who love to sing. The group rehearses every week on Wednesdays. W, 7-9:30pm through 3/31. Reno High School, 395 Booth St., (775) 387-0308.