Advice Goddess

Papa’s got a brand new hag

My boyfriend travels a lot and when he’s away, he wants to video call over FaceTime. Well, I look absolutely hideous on FaceTime and I don’t want to do it. And really, who doesn’t look scary on FaceTime? Megan Fox? Scarlett Johansson? I get that he loves me and knows what I really look like, but I always feel depressed and self-conscious after I get off our video calls. Of course it’s what’s on the inside that really counts, which is why men’s magazines so often run glossy spreads of stout, good-hearted older women crocheting afghans for nursing home patients.

FaceTime should be renamed UglyFaceTime for what it does to a person’s features and especially to a woman’s (in lumps, jowls and eye baggery not apparent in photos). While the camera is said to add 10 pounds, FaceTime adds 10 miles of bad road. The good news: You look just like a movie star! The bad news: It’s the zombie Orson Welles.

Friends will remind you that your boyfriend loves you and tell you you’re being silly (read: shallow). Some will offer helpful suggestions, like “It’s all about the lighting!” They aren’t wrong. I suggest avoiding light entirely, like by FaceTiming from a dark closet. Another popular chant: “Wear concealer!” My recommendation: Le Burlap Bag Over Le Head.

Right now, countless readers are getting ready to email me to tell me I’m an idiot. (Hold your fire!) First, male sexuality is highly visual—in a way female sexuality is not. And then there’s what psychologists call “the contrast effect”—how the attractiveness of someone or something changes depending on the “neighborhood”: how attractive or unattractive the nearby alternatives are. So, you could be an easy 8.5 in Smalltownville and come to Hollywood —a.k.a. Mecca for every high school’s golden-blondiest cheerleader—and find yourself struggling to hang on to a 5.8.

The contrast effect even holds true for somebody we love. In research by evolutionary psychologists Douglas Kenrick and Steven Neuberg, when men in relationships were exposed to pictures of very attractive women, they perceived their partner as less attractive—and (eek) felt less satisfied with and less committed to her.

Obviously, looks aren’t all that matter. But sexual attraction naturally wanes over time. Best not to help it along with a “just keep your chins up!” attitude about FaceTiming. This isn’t to say you should leave your boyfriend visually starved. You can keep him wellsupplied with images of you that you can control: selfies.

These selfies could even be used for a “foreign correspondent” approach to FaceTime—keeping the camera on a still photo of yourself (like when a CNN reporter is on an audio-only connection from a tent outside of Jalalabad). This will allow you to focus on your boyfriend instead of on another man—one with the medical training to make your cavernous nasolabial folds look less like the place they’ll find Jimmy Hoffa, your dad’s coin collection and three hikers who disappeared in 1976.

When the gooing gets tough

When my boyfriend and I are on the phone, he won’t sign off with “I love you” if his guy friends are around. Meanwhile, these guys have met me and most are in relationships. So what’s with his cool act? I know he loves me. Why be embarrassed to say it publicly? There are a lot of ways a man can show that he loves you. Does it really have to be “Hold on, guys, while I give my balls to my girlfriend!”?

Women often think it’s a bad sign if a man won’t go all “wuvvywoo poopielou” in front of his bros. This worry is understandable—because it’s no biggie (and actually kind of a status thing) for a woman to do that in front of the girls. But sex differences researchers Anne Campbell and Joyce Benenson point out that women—the caregivers of the species—evolved to bond through sharing vulnerabilities. This is how they show other women that they aren’t a threat. Men, however, evolved to be in a constant battle for dominance. They succeed socially by displaying toughness, not giggling behind their hands like Japanese schoolgirls (but with facial hair and Hello Kitty wallet chains).

In other words, when you love a man, you show it by not demanding that his phone calls with you end in a social hanging. He’ll feel better, and you’ll ultimately respect him more. Sure, like other women, you may believe you want the ever mushy-ready “sensitive man”— until you start despising him for his compliance and dump him for someone a little more action hero. Those guys are men of few words—words like “I’ll be back” and not “Yes, dear, I’ll be back with a box of super-plus extra-absorbency unscented.” Ω

Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave., No. 280, Santa Monica,CA 90405, or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com).

ARTISTS CO-OP OF RENO GALLERY: Photo

Fandango X. The 10th annual accomplished and upstart photographers invitational features the work of more than 20 local photographers. M-Su, 11am-4pm. Free. 627

Mill St., (775) 322-8896. BLACK ROCK PRESS, JOT TRAVIS BUILDING:

The Shape of Reading: Literature and the Contemporary Fine Press Book. This exhibition explores the idea of the book not only as a text-based medium, but as a visual, material, sculptural and time-based media experience. M-F, 9am-5pm through 3/31.

University of Nevada, Reno, 1664 N. Virginia

St., (775) 682-5596. CARSON CITY COURTHOUSE GALLERY: For Detail

View. Capital City Arts Initiative presents work by artist Jeff Hantman. Hantman creates his wood sculptures using found wood objects and printmaking techniques. Rather than removing paint and sanding for smooth surfaces, he keeps the old paint, shelf paper and scratches as a history in each piece of wood he finds. He alters it with additional wood pieces, images and color to enhance the story as he builds a new sculpture. M-F, 8am-5pm through 5/25. Free. 885 E. Musser

St., Carson City, www.arts-initiative.org. FRONT DOOR GALLERY, CHURCH FINE ARTS

BUILDING, UNIVERSITY OF NEVADA, RENO:

Brett Flanigan. The first show in University Galleries’ new mural series features artwork by the Oakland-based artist. M-F through 11/11. Free. 1664 N. Virginia St., (775) 784-6658.

HOLLAND PROJECT MICRO GALLERY AT BIBO

COFFEE CO.: National Monuments Part 2.

Artist Thomas Vincent Chapel uses symbolically charged American flags as a way of starting a dialogue about outsourcing, globalism and the rigid dichotomy between pride and protest. M-Su through 4/8. Free. 945 Record St., (775) 348-8087. HOLMAN ARTS & MEDIA CENTER, SIERRA NEVADA

COLLEGE: From the Lens of Eleanor Preger. Preger’s photographs capture the art, people and environment of Burning Man. The exhibit is on view in the Ron and Maureen Ashley Community Gallery. The VIP reception is on April 5, 5-6pm. The artist talk follows from 6-7:30pm. M-Sa, 9am-5pm through

4/8; Tu, 4/5, 6-7pm. 1008 Highway 28, Incline

Village, (775) 831-1314. JOT TRAVIS BUILDING, UNIVERSITY OF NEVADA,

RENO: BFA Thesis Exhibition. University of Nevada, Reno graduating bachelor of fine arts candidates host their thesis exhibition in Student Galleries South, Jot Travis Building at the University of Nevada, Reno. Tu-F, 11am-4pm through 3/31. Free. 1664 N.

Virginia St., (775) 784-6837. MATHEWSON-IGT KNOWLEDGE CENTER,

UNIVERSITY OF NEVADA, RENO: Media

Technology: Past & Present. Visitors will enjoy a visual display of media technological leaps through this exhibit on display in the

Whittemore Gallery of the Mathewson-IGT

Knowledge Center. M-Su through 6/30. Free. 1664 N. Virginia St., (775) 784-4636, www. knowledgecenter.unr.edu. METRO GALLERY AT RENO CITY HALL: Order and

Chaos: A Marriage in Reno. The Reno Arts & Culture Commission presents artwork from Los Angeles-based visual artist Avery Falkner. His paintings are permeated with bold forms, rich colors and unusual textures. M-F, 9am-5pm through 4/15. Free. 1 E.

First St., (775) 334-2417. SHEPPARD CONTEMPORARY GALLERY, CHURCH

FINE ARTS BUILDING, UNIVERSITY OF NEVADA,

RENO: Beautiful Soil: Ceramics from Ancient China. The exhibit features Chinese ceramics from various dynasties and spanning centuries, demonstrating the rich and diverse tradition of object-making in ancient China. M-F through 4/8; Brendan Tang: Souvenirs from Earth. Brendan Tang’s sculptures integrate references to Ming dynasty ceramic forms, Japanese anime and manga, art-pop, Asian import goods for the aristocratic French high-society and robotic prosthetics. Tu-Sa, 10am-8pm through

4/8. Free. 1664 N. Virginia St., (775) 784-6658. STREMMEL GALLERY: Tom Judd: Home on the Range. Philadelphia based artist Tom

Judd’s current body of work focuses on

St. Matthew Passion

TOCCATA—Tahoe Symphony Orchestra and Chorus continues its Winter MusicFest with the 11th annual presentation of Johann Sebastian Bach’s The Passion According to St. Matthew. The program will feature selections from Part Two of The Passion and will be performed in English. Maestro James Rawie will conduct. Soloists include Sherman Modeste as the Evangelist, Chris Langton as Jesus, John Rabben as Pontius Pilate and Chris Nelson as Peter. Maria Arrigotti, Anna Helwing and Joy Strotz are the soprano soloists. Scott Deupree performs as the High Priest with Susan Horst, MaryAnn Helman, Linda Mitchell and Michael Lloyd as the false witnesses. Katie Lauder will play harpsichord continuo along with Nicholas Haines on cello. The concert begins at 7 p.m. on Friday, March 25, at St. Patrick’s Episcopal Church, 341 Village Blvd., Incline Village. General admission is $25 for adults, $20 for seniors and $5 for students ages 19 to 23 with valid ID. Preferred seating is $35 adults and $15 for youth/students. Youth under 19 years of age are admitted free in non-reserved seating. Call (775) 313-9697 or visit www.toccatatahoe.com.

—Kelley Lang

the American notion of Manifest Destiny, the obsession with the myth surrounding America’s history and his love of the epic American landscape. The work challenges the way that the history of the West, “the invented myth,” is perceived as a result of advertising, film and television, while also embracing the aesthetic of those mediums. Tu-Sa through 4/16. Free. 1400 S. Virginia St., (775) 786-0558.

Museums

NATIONAL AUTOMOBILE MUSEUM (THE HARRAH

COLLECTION): SpaceMobiles: From Rockets and Rovers to Cars on Mars. This exhibit takes a look at America’s fascination with exploring new frontiers and the machines that make it possible. M-Su through 4/11. $4-$10, free for members and children age 5 and younger. 10 S. Lake St., (775) 333-9300. NEVADA MUSEUM OF ART: Cedra Wood: A

Residency on Earth, W-Su through 5/15; The E.L. Wiegand Collection: Representing the Work Ethic in American Art, W-Su through 4/17; Altered Landscape: Photographs of a Changing Environment, W-Su through 4/17; Andrea Zittel: Wallsprawl, W-Su through 12/31; The Horse, W-Su through 7/3; Andy Diaz Hope & Jon Bernson: Beautification Machine, W-Su through 7/24; Daniel Douke: Extraordinary, W-Su through 4/24; Monuments & DeLIMITations: Projects by David Taylor and Marcos Ramírez

ERRE, W-Su through 4/17; Don Dondero: A

Photographic Legacy, W-Su through 7/10. $1-$10. 160 W. Liberty St., (775) 329-3333, www.nevadaart.org. SPARKS HERITAGE MUSEUM: Hidden in Plain

Sight: The Basques. The exhibit tells of the unique origins, language and history of the Basque people, along with their contributions throughout history. Hidden in Plain Sight: The Basques is a traveling exhibit from the Basque Museum & Cultural Center in Boise, Idaho. Sa, 1-4pm through 5/14; Tu-F, 11am-4pm through 5/13; Latimer Art Club

Exhibit. The group exhibition by members of the Latimer Art Club will feature paintings by local artists in a wide variety of mediums. An exhibit reception will be held from 4pm to 7pm on April 8. Tu-F, 11am-4pm through 5/27; Sa, 1-4pm through 5/28. Opens 3/26. $5 or free

for museum members. 814 Victorian Ave., Sparks, (775) 355-1144, www.sparksmuseum. org.

Film

BANFF MOUNTAIN FILM FESTIVAL WORLD TOUR:

See the best adventure, environmental and cultural films from the prestigious mountain festival. M, 3/28, 7pm. $16-$20. MontBleu Resort, 55 Highway 50, Stateline, (800) 6483353. THE PROPHET: Based on Kahlil Gibran’s popular book, an all-star cast led by Liam Neeson and John Krasinski gives voice to the story of exiled poet Mustafa. Trying to find his way home, Mustafa and his fellow travelers must evade the authorities, who believe that the truth in Mustafa’s words will incite rebellion. Tu, 3/29, 7-9pm. $5-$7. Good Luck

Macbeth Theatre Company, 713 S. Virginia

St., (775) 322-3716, http://artemisiamovies. weebly.com.

Poetry/ Literature

TYRONE WILLIAMS AND MG ROBERTS: The poets

will read from their works. F, 3/25, 6-8pm.

Free. Sierra Nevada College, 999 Tahoe Blvd.,

Incline Village, (775) 831-1314 ext. 7501. WRITING WORKSHOPS WITH SNC POETRY CENTER:

Tyrone Williams and Mg Roberts will lead workshops for writers of all levels. Limited to 15 people. Please email Laura Wetherington at awetherington@sierranevada.edu to reserve a space. Sa, 3/26, 10-11:30am. Free. Sundance Books and Music, 121 California Ave., (775) 831-1314 ext. 7501, www.sierranevada.edu/poetrycenter.

Music

FACULTY RECITAL: Enjoy an evening of music with University of Nevada, Reno horn professor DeAunn Davis and guests. Highlights include the world premiere of a new chamber work for horn, tuba and piano and Reinhold Gliere’s Concerto for Horn and Orchestra, op. 91. Reception to follow.

W, 3/30, 7:30pm. Free. Nightingale Concert

Hall, Church Fine Arts Building, University of Nevada, Reno, 1335 N. Virginia St., (775) 784-4278. FLUTE DAY: GÖRAN MARCUSSON: Flute Day at

the University of Nevada, Reno presents Göran Marcusson, the principal flutist of the Gothenburg Wind Orchestra in Sweden. He will be give a recital at 7:30pm on March 29 and a master class at 11am on March 30. Both events will be held in Nightingale Concert Hall. Flutists should bring their flutes to the master class for an instructional group warm up. The master class will feature UNR students and area high school students. Tu, 3/29, 7:30pm; W, 3/30, 11am. $5;

free for UNR students with ID. Nightingale

Concert Hall, Church Fine Arts Building,

University of Nevada, Reno, 1335 N. Virginia

St., (775) 784-4278, www.unr.edu/arts. FORTUNATE STRANGERS: The band combines

Celia Ramsay’s voice and experience in

Scottish folk song with Joe and Kathy Bly’s long history of Irish music. A Celtic session open to all musicians follows the show. F, 3/25, 7pm. $15. Mountain Music Parlor, 735 S.

Center St., (775) 843-5500. L-CUBED: LOOK, LUNCH, LISTEN: This free

concert series features performances by University of Nevada, Reno classical and jazz music students and faculty. W, noon through 4/27. Opens 3/30. Free. Randall

Rotunda, Mathewson-IGT Knowledge Center,

University of Nevada, Reno, 1664 N. Virginia

St., (775) 784-4278, www.unr.edu/arts. SPRING MUSIC SERIES: Musicians take center stage on the deck at Alpine Meadows. Mojo

Green performs on March 26. Lumanation performs on April 2. Nibblers play on April 9. Joy & Madness play on April 16. Sa, 1-4pm through 4/23. Opens 3/26. Free with $39-$99

advance lift tickets. Squaw Valley Resort, 1960 Squaw Valley Road, Olympic Valley, (800) 403-0206.

Sports & Fitness

RENO BIGHORNS: The D-league basketball team plays the Los Angeles D-Fenders. F, 3/25, 7pm; Reno Bighorns vs. the Idaho Stampede.

Sa, 3/26, 7pm. $35-$125. Reno Events Center, 400 N. Center St., (775) 853-8220, http:// reno.dleague.nba.com. SILVER STATE VERTICAL DROP CHALLENGE: The

competition is to see how many ski runs an individual or teams of three to five people can take in four hours. Winning contestants will be awarded trophies and prizes. Proceeds benefit the Wildland Firefighter Foundation. Sa, 3/26, 9am-4pm. $75-$85. Mt. Rose-Ski Tahoe, 22222 Mt. Rose Highway, (805) 234-3332, www.silverstateverticaldrop.com.

Onstage

SEX, DRUGS, ROCK & ROLL: Good Luck Macbeth

Theatre Company presents Eric Bogosian’s play about masculinity, capitalism and the great American way. Th, 3/24, 7:30-9:30pm; F, 3/25, 7:30-9:30pm; Sa, 3/26, 7:30-9:30pm. $15-

$18. Good Luck Macbeth Theatre Company, 713 S. Virginia St., (775) 322-3716. THE SHAPE OF THINGS: Brüka Theatre presents the Neil LaBute’s play which focuses on the nature of stoicism, art, psychopathy, intimacy, explorations of love and people’s willingness to do things for love. Th, 3/24, 8pm;

F, 3/25, 8pm; Sa, 3/26, 8pm. $18-$25. Brüka

Theatre, 99 N. Virginia St., (775) 323-3221, www.bruka.org. TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD: TheatreWorks of