THE WAY I SEE IT

Cathey Meyer / Contributing Writer

View Blockers

You may not remember who won best song at the 2023 Academy Awards, but you do remember the lady who showed up in too much white tulle swirling around her head like a runaway bride caught in a funnel cloud. Most everyone raved about the daring, attention grabbing moment and most everyone continued to watch the who wears what on the Red Carpet not considering where the cloud of tulle would settle. The cloud of tulle belonged to Temilade Openiyi AKA Tems, who was nominated for best original song. (Just a bit of Jeopardy trivia for your next appearance,) Tems was a two time loser—did not score the Academy Award and did not score friends with the folks sitting the entire show behind the cloud of tulle.

Online are numerous clips of the poor souls who waited all their lives for the chance to attend the glamourous Oscars only to score the seat behind a thunder cloud block. They shifted on top of seatmates next to them, stood up periodically to catch a glimps of the action and grimaced in frustration at their unexpected partial view seat. The assumption would be Ms. Tems would deflate her mountainous tulle in consideration of those behind her, but alas, she is just a member of the current club of View Blockers at audience seated events.

The evolution of View Blockers has been a subtle occurrence. More frequently, I am view blocked by ‘gentlemen’ wearing cowboy hats indoors. Mind you, these are not ‘cowboy’ events I am attending, but high brow lectures, foreign movies with subtitles, and theater performances. Yes, most of those events are not on my regular play list, but on the rare occasion I venture out to something new, I do not need a black Stetson clouding my attempt to not fall asleep at the event. Apparently, the common courtesy of removing one’s bald spot coverage when entering an indoor venue has changed. Why does one need to wear a hat indoors? Especially indoor events with limited lighting. What glare is disturbing the view? Sometimes they are very polite when you ask for the view blocker removal, sometimes not so much.

As a civic minded voter, I was recently at a candidate forum. The room was scanned for the big hat indoor freaks and we sat on the other side of the aisle. What I did not anticipate was the dude with the large cell phone who held it above his head the entire forum recording the candidates. WHY?! Bless these candidates for their attempt at public service via an election, but honestly, none of them were interesting enough to watch again. Who did this dude think wanted to see this in its entirety?! Why did he have to block my view for the entire forum? Of course, he is one of the ‘forgot to mute his device’ fellows, so there was the occasional break when he had to actually answer a call to tell the caller he was recording a meeting. We could see the candidates on his screen, but please, stand in the back of the room like the real reporters and record your needed information.

My attendance at an art lecture was view blocked by a staff photographer for the venue. Settled into our second row seats, my friends and I were confident no hat people would sit in front of us and any phone recording nerd could just keep it in their lap. With no warning, midway through the lecture, a larger than average photographer plopped down in the seats (yes, she took more than one) in front of us and raised her massive camera and clicked away. Not only did our view get blocked, but the clicking drowned the speaker. Her tight-fitting tee-shirt was emblazed on the back with the venue’s logo, so now we are not only view blocked by random audience members, but employees of places we go.

Small humans have long been view blockers. The wonderful thing about those is when one of two things happen as the parent is holding them high above their head: one, they just get too heavy to remain aloft or two, they become whining and squirmy and de-elevate on their own accord. Little humans are reverse view blockers as sometimes, their little show is better than whatever you showed up to watch. As an aside, nothing is more fun than engaging with a little human during an event when their parents are unaware of your instigation. If you have a resting show face when they turn around to see what is stirring the pot, you can have a side show of the real show. Unfortunately, with hats and recording devices, that fun is unavailable.

The winner of the 2023 Academy Award for Best Song was Naatu Naatu by M. M. Keeravani and Chandrabose. (Just one more Jeopardy bonus tidbit.) For the record, they did not wear view blocking attire.