ANALYSIS DIPUO MOFOKENG GIVES US HER ANALYSIS ON WHAT WOMEN GO THROUGH VIA HER EXPERIENCES

ANALYSIS The world through the lens of a young woman.

Dipuo Mofokeng is a journalist based in Orange Farms. She wrote this powerful piece to pay homage to our theme for this issue.

For a young woman who was born and raised in the Free State, I surely fall short of being anything traditional, submissive and timid. The first of two daughters from my mother’s short-lived marriage to my father-who walked out of the home and the life I knew and started afresh with a new woman, a new family and a new life that didn’t include any of us in it. It hit home that everything I thought was right, the system I thought kept things together, the very core of what I perceived as normal and functional came tumbling down and the rug of normality for me was pulled beneath me. There I was at the age of 7 starting afresh- unlearning and adopting new ways of adapting in a life without a male figure that you were born and taught would forever be your leader, if not as a father then later in life as a husband I began questioning everything as things turned upside down and the veil of a broken home was removed from my eyes. Every day, I observed silently at the changes that redefined society for me took place and my fears of absolute chaos were void as my mother remained intact and whole. My thoughts kept cementing that it is a better possibility because my surroundings were evidently manifesting a solid home without a man. Now my family was led by a woman, the breadwinner just became a woman, the leader in my life just became a woman. Life as I knew it never remained the same thereafter. My principles changed, my values changed, my entire existence changed-was I even living before this revolution happened in my mother’s house? attempting to hide it from the world that was still very much clinging to the cultural and popular man-led households and protecting my family from public scrutiny and the label of broken and single parented only spoke in loud echoing volumes in my actions, in my personal life, socially and academically. My mother had unintentionally built a junior version of herself - a lone warrior within me who wasn’t loud in announcing the failure of her marriage and the challenges of raising her daughters alone but instead ensured that she kept the lights on, the bread on the table and the bills paid. I reintroduced myself to myself just like my mother did unaware. I am a woman and that is my power, I am not beneath anyone, I am not dependant on anyone, I get things done, I alone am still enough, capable. Even unled, unsupervised, without assistance-I am a force worth being reckoned, a leader by right, a phenomenal nurturer”. This defined me, this described me, this became my truth and I hiding it was futile.

Having lived very closely with her and shared the most intimate life experiences by her side as my source of everything, it enabled me to recognise the true strength of women even though they don’t announce it, they don’t own it as they should instead it’s as though the strength is taboo.Everyone sees it but they don’t acknowledge it as best as they can. What an injustice for us to recognise this immense power in women, the impeccable strength in our mothers and sisters but whisper about it. What a disgrace that we have benefited from the strength of women in our ancestral lineage yet our applause is reserved and their honour is little to nothing. It is a crime that the law doesn’t find punishable that women possess this much power and keep it themselves,doubting the impact it can bring because someone somewhere,at most times a man said a woman must know her place.Someone somewhere in institutions of faith,in workplaces,in families,in communities- a woman is told not to speak her mind freely,to filter her words, to not be loud about her thoughts,her feelings,her truth regardless of the importance and relevant change it’ll bring to better the situation and rectify the fault. A woman’s voice isn’t audible enough, a woman’s voice is silenced to the contentment of a patriachal system that still dominates a democratical country that claims is for women In my journalism studies and career I ensured that I took the stories that lecturers and news editors knew no female journalists would take and I reprimanded their concern on whether I’d handle it.”why aren’t you checking up on my male colleagues too?”-I chose the political and taxi feuds that ended up bloody and violent, the taxi accidents that had corpses all over the road with missing parts found miles away and body insides splattered all over the scene. It is shocking that they respect the work you put in as a woman but still prefer a man to do it. Whatever informs society that women are fragile and weak yet women get the things done without complaining will always find me ready to address its ignorance and blatant foolishness. I’ve found that whatever remains male-dominated isn’t because women are less women interested in it but because someone somewhere still upholds that some responsibilities are just better suited and designed for men-a fault I will take my last breathe fighting against.

It is my personal mission to speak for women that have for so long been made to believe that their opinion is invalid.That they have selected spaces in certain environments of society. That they aren’t equally able to do what men can do. How dare anyone question the legitimacy of a woman’s point and cite subjectivity and emotion as a woman’s downfall. How dare anyone restrict a woman and say a certain task isn’t suitable for her. Who made those rules and specifications and thought they would stand in 2021? Let no one proudly and boldly say “But a woman can’t…”,that statement is ancient, oppressive and unacceptable. For as long as I can remember I took it upon myself to advocate for women not because I am one but because I have seen first hand that women are fit and well equipped to lead,to speak,to own, to manage,supervise and delegate anyone anywhere in any dimension and level. Anyone who finds that offensive and uncalled for is insulting and ignorant and serves no purpose in this country’s fight for equality,justice and peace.

The fight to have fair treatment and equal rights among men and women is far from victorious with patriachy still a huge part of our families, a part of our cultures and religions and embedded in generational teachings. With our men still taught that they are heads of families and our women still taught that their duty is to submit. For as long as we swallow what we are fed without digesting its contents and asking the questions that are important to the liberation of women,there remains a huge gap between men and women that endorses entitlement and male priviledge. Everyone has a role to play in making the next generation better,start by not repeating what your grandparents said to you that “a boy child mustn’t”,”a child child must”-let us raise children without making their gender influence our discussions and lessons.Let us raise good human beings that treat each other as equals and not as opposites.

PRESS RELEASE A duo embarks on a 27 day walk to raise R1 million to build a pre-school in Elliotdale

Onke Vulidobo Sitwayi founder of No One Left Behind non-profit organisation has embarked on a walk with his advocate for change Aphendule Phakade, for 874km from Johannesburg to Mthatha in 27 days to raise awareness and funds of about a R1 million to build a pre-school in the Eastern Cape. Born in Mthatha and raised in a small village of Xhora, Buccleuch resident Onke felt passionate about seeing children receive foundational education. “I never went to preschool because there was not enough space and facilities for early childhood development to take place”, added Sitwayi. They will walk an average of 50km a day, sleeping in a tent and planting trees along the way

The pair believe that empowering future generations begins with happy and healthy children. Starting the walk on the 15th Jan 2021, the day former president Nelson Mandela was released from prison, the number 27 is very significant to the pair and the country as a whole, because of the amount of year former South African president Nelson Mandela was imprisoned. This journey relies on every child having access to quality health care, good nutrition, education and growing up in a safe environment free from violence and the deprivation of basic human rights. Currently, the pair is sponsored by Isuzu South Africa with an SUV Mu-X car for the trip, Cell C and Huawei also rose to the occasion and donated 2 tablets and some sim cards to keep updated to our stakeholders while on the road. Feral foods sponsored some superfoods to keep their bodies hydrated and filled with nutrition throughout the journey.

Over the last 8 months, children have been further compromised and are at risk of being left behind. School closures in 2020 have severely impacted South Africans children’s basic right to education and Covid-19 restrictions have exposed problems across the education landscape. This will further compromise the long-term future of our country. We invasion a world where the youth are taught that rights come with responsibilities, a world where they can walk the earth without the fear of being a statistic. There can be no greater gift than that of giving one’s time and energy to help others without expecting anything in return. Residents and other stakeholders are encouraged to support the initiative by pledging funds, their time and resources to reach the financial objective of R1 million and resources to build the pre school. Email nooneleftbehindnpc@gmail.com or dreamoutloudafrika@gmail.com to find out more about sponsorships and pledges, alternatively follow us on Instagram at @Dreamoutloudsa.

This is a series os short stories written by young women. The aim is to give them a platform to feel free in their writing.

By Noluthando Bukani

Ben lived in a small house with a big family. Older sister, older brother, little sisters (twins), mom, dad and the last born, a little boy.

Ben had big dreams. He dreamt of being born into a rich family by where he could be the only child and where his parents could be Chinese. His parents could not afford anything he needed. He needed a new school bag, new soccer boots and he wanted to join the karate team in his school. He wished his parents planned a birthday party for him since he never had one before. Neither did his siblings. Ben did not love his lifestyle and his family.

One day when he came back from school, he was surprised by his family. They bought him a cake for his birthday. They sang and he made a wish. “I wish all my dreams come true”. Then he blew the candles out and cut the cake. In the morning, he woke up and got ready for school. Then he went to school. After hours, the school was out. When he headed to the gate, some two big muscled men said, “Get into Guards: Sir, we won’t play your games today. Ben: But guys, do I know you?

One of the guards grabbed him into the car and drove away. Something surprised Ben: they stopped in front of a big beautiful house. When he got in, they offered him something to drink. Some maid took his backpack and made him sit. In a minute, some Chinese lady got in and said, “Hello, my boy”. A Chinese man came in and said, “Oh, you are back”. Ben became even more confused. Another maid took his homework and wrote it. Then he noticed that his birthday wish came true. He became happy to see his new parents. But the problem was that they were always busy. They went to work so early in the morning and came back late at night. He had new smart school backpack, soccer boots and he also participated in karate. One day his parents came with a big cake for him. “Sorry, son, we had forgotten your birthday. You know how busy we are, right?” But he never minded that. But after a minute, his parents got a call that they are requested at work. They ran out without saying anything. Ben had to celebrate his birthday alone. He started to be emotional, he cried. “I want my family back. This life is strange for me. I used to go to school with my friends and came back home with them, too. My mom would give us a kiss when we go and come back from school. I used to do my own homework and my father would have been helping me instead of doing it for me. I miss my siblings so much. We used to watch horror movies in secret while our parents were asleep. Grandma told us stories. But these parents do not do any of that. They just have to work all the time. They even forgot my birthday. But mom would have woken me up at midnight and sing me happy birthday. I want to go to my home”. He was crying so much that his face was even turning red.

“Wake up, wake up, Ben”. Ben’s mother woke him up. It was Ben’s dream.

Ben: It was a dream. This was a really bad dream. It felt real. (Breathing loudly) Ben’s Mother: What are you saying, son?

Ben hugged his mother tight.

Ben’s Mom: What happened, Ben? Did you have a bad dream? Ben: A really bad one, mom. Ben’s Mom: Sorry, okay. Ben: I love you, mom.

His mom was surprised because he had never said something like that before. Ben told everyone that he loves them. He learnt a big lesson that day: appreciate your life, some might need it.

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