My English Does Not English

By Mark Kaheru, Public Information Officer, RSCE

In today’s world, you are at an advantage if you can speak more than one language. You are at an even bigger advantage of the languages are international.

Chances are, if you are fluent in English, French and Portuguese, you can work and fit in very comfortably in any country of the world. Add Arabic to your vocabulary and you can truly rule the world.

You would be sought after by nations, people would pay to listen to you speak at events. You can keep everyone guessing as to your next words. Knees will bend and heads shall bow.

That is an exaggeration, but you get the point.

Your job marketability will be well up there. And this is very advantageous of you work with the United Nations…which you most probably do.

But then what happens if you do know another language but not the local slang. Is it easy to navigate within the local community?

Take an example of Uganda. Uganda is largely English speaking but the locals have changed some words to mean something different and that they understand.

Boda-boda comes from ‘border, border!’ which was what bicycle riders would call out when looking for passengers to convey to the Uganda-Kenya border points in Malaba and Busia. Now, boda-boda refers to motorcycle taxis all over the country.

Another example is Hotel. I believe, a long time ago, if you wanted to eat out and were looking for a restaurant, chances are it was at a hotel. That is the only explanation why eating places are referred to as hotels in Uganda.

Imagine you are looking for accommodation in the suburbs and you ask for a hotel. You will be shown to the nearest or best restaurant in the area.

A popular greeting these days is “Well done”. However, no one is really sure how to respond to this considering it is a direct translation from “gyeebale gyookola” (Meaning We are grateful for the good work you produce) in Luganda whose response is translated to “OK”.

This takes me to the time I was in Cape Town and could not find my way back to my hotel. I had gone to the Victoria and Albert Waterfront to have a meal and a drink before my game. When I was done, I felt like taking a walk but got lost.

I asked someone on the street for directions. They pointed down the street and told me to take a left at the robots and go on straight.

I looked in the direction they pointed and there was this big red statue in the general area so I walked towards it. It looked like a robot so I figured I was going the right way. On reaching the ‘robot’, I realized quickly that it was a pile of coca cola crates in the shape of a robot and turning left at it took me directly into the ocean.

I asked another person if there were any other robots other than the one we were standing at and they looked confused. They told me there were no robots where we were standing, and they started pointing out where the robots were.

It quickly became clear that they were pointing at traffic lights.

We had a good laugh about it when I told them that in my country (and the rest of the world), the red, amber and green lights that direct traffic flow are called traffic lights and robots are programmable machines that carry out prescribed actions.

Now I know better so I do not assume that the English language is the same in all countries.

Apparently, in Nigeria “go slow” means “traffic jam” … who knew?