4 minute read
CARMEL WYNNE
FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS
CARMEL WYNNE SELF-EFFICACY
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A POSITIVE OUTLOOK CAN DETERMINE HOW WE OVERCOME OBSTACLES AND FIND WAYS TO DEAL WITH SETBACKS
Self-efficacy plays a major role in how we perceive situations and how we react in response to issues over which we have no control. The Russian invasion of Ukraine has led to global uncertainties about how predicted food and fuel shortages will affect our lives. Rising inflation is taking away most people’s ability to plan for even their short-term future.
Most of us know incredibly selfreliant people who are skilled in finding ingenious ways to cope with everything life puts in their path. For the general population, increases in the cost of living and the fall in the purchasing power of money have a huge impact.
People are struggling with mortgage payments and rising rent prices. Expensive food and energy prices have put such pressure on households that people who once donated to charity are now approaching them for help. It has become increasingly difficult for young families to keep up with debt repayments for school expenses, car loans, credit card payments and sometimes even gambling debts.
People who are dependent on social welfare payments have difficulty putting food on the table and cannot afford to heat their homes. Families dealing with addiction issues have the most difficulty. Recent research found that there are believed to be 40,000 people in Ireland who have a gambling addiction. The ‘magic thinking’ of a gambler who exudes boundless optimism that good things will happen, without supporting evidence, brings unnecessary deprivation on a family.
Feeling powerless and hopeless is understandable when families on a limited income are faced with mounting bills. There is a noteworthy difference in how men and women deal with financial stress. In her book The Female Brain, psychiatrist Louann Brizendine said, “A modern woman can view unpaid bills as a catastrophe, as they seem a threat to a family’s survival. The female brain experiences greater stress over the same event than a man’s and this stress is a way of taking account of all possible risks to her children and family unit.”
Finding an agreed solution is difficult for men and women who view the same event from very different perspectives. Even though they have the same number of brain cells, Brizendine found that men get angry more quickly because their brains have more processors in the amygdala. This is the part of the brain regulating fear and aggression. It’s challenging for couples whose brains work very differently to find amicable solutions to money problems.
OVERCOMING OBSTACLES
Self-efficacy or self-reliance comes from a belief that you have the determination, power and perseverance to overcome obstacles and find ways to deal with setbacks. If life becomes difficult and challenging, you have confidence that you will cope. Psychologist Albert Bandura said. “Once people develop a mind-set about their efficacy in certain situations, they act on their established selfbeliefs without reappraising their capabilities.”
If a family have to make cutbacks, it is desirable to involve young people as much as possible in decision-making. Taking part in discussions about budgetary restraints gives a sense of ownership and personal power. People who feel their contribution to a decision is valued feel a sense of personal accomplishment which makes adapting to change less stressful.
It’s widely accepted that all emotions are generated by thoughts. We know that when you choose to think differently about the situation you are in, that change of thought will change how you feel emotionally. A good practice is to pay attention to your own internal dialogue, what you say to yourself. Question if what you say is uplifting or undermining the belief that you can cope.
Our brains create an interpretation of reality and mostly we accept what we think without question.
The person with a positive outlook might say, “Wouldn’t it be fantastic if…?” anticipating a future event that may never happen. The question of a fearful person who catastrophises about negative events in the future, that also may never happen, could be, “Wouldn’t it be terrible if…?”
The ability to imagine both positive and negative scenarios as you go through life is a blessing. You might choose to imagine how bad it would feel if your worst nightmares came true, or you could give yourself a pleasant surprise by imagining how people, situations or events that you anticipated would turn out badly, turn out well. Remember that feelings aren’t facts. They are like mirrors that reflect what you think. When you make the choice to change what you think, you are empowered to change how you feel.
As psychiatrist, philosopher and Holocaust survivor Victor Frankel said, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
