THE RED BULLETIN F1 Friday, June 20, 2014

BEYOND THE ORDINARY F1 SPECIAL EDITION Friday, June 20, 2014

K C A B

K C A R T N O

LIV E

FR O M TH R I N G I N SEPR ED B U LL I E LB E R G

OM ES ON E C A L U F O R M O A U ST R I A T HOM E

EDDIE IRVINE 路 JOHN OF HABSBURG 路 JOCHEN RINDT

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BULLEVARD

FR I DAY, J U N E 20 , 2014

GER-HARD LIFE

FURIOUS RED

PINK SLIP

FERNANDO ALONSO LOOKED MORE GRUMPY than usual yesterday following Spain’s World Cup exit. “I’m surprised, but I’m not depressed,” he said unconvincingly.

“We had to lose at some point. We need to give thanks to all this generation gave us.” It sounds unlikely that he will be on the plane to Rio now, but some of the other drivers are yearning for caipirinhas in the Maracanã. “I want to try and see if we can go out to one of the games at least,” said Lewis Hamilton. “The dream will be to go and watch Brazil and England play, that would be pretty awesome.”

And about as likely as Caterham getting into Q2 – although we went to print before last night’s match with Uruguay. So: Well done England / Hard luck England *. Either way, Max Chilton won’t be affected: “I didn’t put a bet down because I’ve never seen a poor bookie.”

Felipe Massa may have something to celebrate, though, even if it’s only the hospitality prize. “I really hope Brazil will be there in the final. To win the championship at home would be fantastic, so I will be there watching and supporting Brazil.” (* delete as appropriate)

THERE HAVE BEEN A COUPLE OF CASES OF F1 FIGURES LOSING THEIR JOBS because of something they’ve tweeted. The latest, allegedly, was former Lotus brand and comms director Stephane Samson, who has claimed on social media that he was fired for tweeting a pic of two men kissing from the team’s official account, in support of gay athletes at the Winter Olympics in February.

Lotus say the matter is in the hands of their lawyers, but maybe they should pose for a team photo with all the boys locked in a passionate embrace. After their rocky start to the season, they need a hug.

+ Stop + + Braking News + + Stop +

TRACK HISTORY THE VENUE FOR THIS WEEKEND’S RACE has a long and proud history which has seen it adopt several different names. Most famously, it was called the Österreichring and, after that, the A1 Ring. What’s less well known, is that in 1972 it briefly changed ownership after an ill-advised investment by a former British pop star and became known as The Ringo Ring. In 2003, it was also renamed in protest at the invasion of Iraq and was briefly known as The Ring Peace.

F1 stopped racing here after 2003 and the place fell into despair, followed by a period of wistfulness and then a sort of simmering irritation at the state of young people’s trousers. Finally, action was taken to restore the track to its former glory, inspired by the legacy of Austria’s greatest racing driver, Dieter Quester, and a desire to do justice to his legendary record of coming ninth in the 1974 Austrian Grand Prix. The reborn track is now owned by a beef producer from Argentina. However, due to a typo, instead of incorporating his trading name, “Dead Bull”, it now reads Red Bull Ring.

YOUR BET GROUP D IN RECIFE Italy vs Costa Rica, June 20, 6pm 1

X

2

GROUP E IN SALVADOR Switzerland vs France, June 20, 9pm 1

X

2

GROUP C IN CURITIBA Honduras vs Ecuador, June 20, midnight 1

X

2

Photography: Getty Images (2), picturedesk.com (1), Jürgen Skarwan/Red Bull Content Pool (1)

IS THAT A CARPET POKING OUT FROM UNDER SEBASTIAN VETTEL’S SHIRT? Driving Gerhard Berger’s 1988 F1 Ferrari here in Spielberg a couple of weeks ago will put curly hairs on the chest of even the most aerodynamic and perma-pre-pubescent driver.

“The shoulders are out in the open air. For the first time I can see the mountains from the track,” observed Vettel after his run. “This is so pure, so direct!

You don’t get the corner speeds, but damn it, it has enough power.” If only the same could be said of the RB10.

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BULLHORN

FR I DAY, J U N E 20 , 2014

CHILD OF FORMULA ONE Perhaps the craziest, certainly “almost independent” and once the fastest daily newspaper in the world is enjoying a renaissance at Spielberg I S S U E 9 9 , G P G E R M A N Y, F R I DAY, J U LY 2 8 , 2 0 0 6

GP USA FRIDAY, JUNE 15, 2007. ISSUE 148 WWW.REDBULLETIN.COM

GP GERMANY ’06 THIS ISN’T CHILD’S PLAY

As fast as victory.

Fernando Alonso has just won the Japanese GP (2006) and grabs The Red Bulletin with the victor’s photo.

But we didn’t just picture winners, there have also been beautiful covers

I S S U E 15 , G P F R A N C E , F R I D AY, J U LY 1, 2 0 0 5

AN ALMOST INDEPENDENT F1 NEWSPAPER AY, S E P T E M B E R 9 , 2 0 0 5 ISSUE 39, GP BELGIUM, FRID

LA BELLE FORMULE

F1 NEWSPAPER AN ALMOST INDEPENDENT

MAGNY-COURS GP jaPan sunday, october 12, 2008. Issue 249 www.redbulletinf1.com

hamilton edges ahead

GP jaPan saturday, october 11, 2008. Issue 248 www.redbulletinF1.com

as massa only manages fifth

kazuki nakajima calm in the eye of the storm

T Photography: The Red Bulletin

HE RED BULLETIN, one of the biggest monthly men’s magazines in the world, started out in a very small way: as a live daily newspaper for Formula One. Produced exclusively for the paddock, its satirical reporting soon earned it cult status with its select readership.

The first issue appeared on May 21, 2005 at the Monaco Grand Prix. From that point until November 2008, the “almost independent” F1 newspaper appeared on every racing weekend (Friday, Saturday and twice on Sunday), printed right next to the racetrack. To make this happen, a specially constructed Red Bulletin printing truck formed part of the Formula One travelling circus.

The Austrian Grand Prix represents not only the return of Formula One to Spielberg, but the return of this cult newspaper as well. It will once again be made available exclusively to the drivers and engineers in the paddock.

We hope you enjoy the comeback.

Read THE RED BULLETIN online: redbulletin.issuu.com/docs/F1-friday

THE RED BULLETIN Spielberg, ISSN 1995-8838 Herausgeber und Verleger Red Bull Media House GmbH Team principle Wolfgang Winter Pole position Boro Petric, Adam Hay-Nicholls Chief Constructor Dominik Uhl Photo finish Markus Kucera Text engineer Clemens Stachel Production Editor Nadja James Managing Editor Lisa Blazek Roving Reporter Lukas Wagner Photo Reporter Philipp Horak Bull’s Mouth Eric Silbermann Third driver Christoph Rietner Supply industry Muhamed Beganovic, Moritz Gottsauner-Wolf, Martina Powell, Florian Wörgötter Cocktail Supply Georg Eckelsberger Quizmaster Raffael Fritz Translations James Conway, Friedrich Hügle, Desmond Tumulty Mechanics Nancy James, Paul Keith Carriage Designer Paul Stuefer Junior Designer Isabel Erlebach Senior Illustrator Dietmar Kainrath Funny Nina Ball Cover Robert Rottensteiner Repro Men Clemens Ragotzky (Ltg.), Karsten Lehmann, Josef Mühlbacher Master of Chaos Michael Bergmeister Production Matthias Zimmermann Marketing Lukas Scharmbacher Publisher Franz Renkin Sales Alfred Vrej Minassian, Thomas Hutterer, Romana Müller International Sales Patrick Stepanian sales@at.redbulletin.com Office Heroines Manuela Geßlbauer, Kristina Krizmanic IT Michael Thaler Head Office Red Bull Media House GmbH, Oberst-Lepperdinger-Str. 11–15, A-5071 Wals bei Salzburg, FN 297115i, Landesgericht Salzburg, ATU63611700 Racing stable Heinrich-Collin-Str. 1, A-1140 Vienna Phone +43 1 90221-28800 Fax +43 1 90221-28809 Contact letters@redbulletin.com Website www.redbulletin.com

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DEAD BULL

FR I DAY, J U N E 20 , 2014

INTERVIEW WITH THE DEAD

THE STYRIAN

EMPEROR Archduke John of Austria, member of the Habsburg dynasty and the man who modernised Styria, talks exclusively to The Red Bulletin about the place he chose to make home, the state’s new sovereign and his F1 favourites

The Red Bulletin: Your Supreme Prince and Most Gracious Highness, we thank you in all humility and reverence for this rare audience.

Archduke John: You may come closer, hack! I have never been one for all this grovelling, so please do away with all the bombast. What is it you want to talk about?

Your people are interested to know what the Archduke has to say about Formula One. Why do you think that I’m looking down on you again after such a long time? I’m certainly not going to miss out on this folk festival. A motor car race that is precisely to my taste: the best engineering meeting the bravest sportsmen under the sun. And all this happening in the most beautiful spot on God’s clean Earth.

But it would appear that the new engines have made the cars somewhat less powerful.

Well, I can still hear them up here.

Wouldn’t you care to drive a car with the power of 750 horses?

For my part, I prefer Shanks’s pony.

But Your Highness isn’t averse to the people’s enthusiasm for Formula One? Not in the least! My Styrians have always had a feel for what is modern, after all. That is why I chose to make Styria my home.

Furthermore, the girls in the paddock are enough to arouse even an Archduke’s curiosity.

What does your wife, Anna Plochl, have to say about that?

Erm, please remove that last sentence from your notes.

We should like to remind our readers that Your Serene Highness had much trouble by going against the wishes of his brother, Emperor Francis I, and marrying a woman from an untitled house.

Yes, that certainly went against me at court, I can tell you.

My family were shocked and the aristocracy were upset, chiefly on account of their unmarried daughters. Some of them were so hard to pair off that we even had to foist them on the enemy.

You refer to the forced marriage of Princess Marie Louise to none other than your arch enemy Napoleon.

The poor woman. Having to sleep next to a megalomaniac dwarf like Napoleon can’t have been a bed of roses. He didn’t even attend the wedding, the scoundrel!

Whereas Your Highness remained unfaltering in matters of love.

My dear Nani. For her, I would even have driven an F1 car.

It was romance that would go on to become material for sentimental films in idealised country settings…

If only a decent director had made just one of those films.

Who would be your candidate for Emperor?

The one from America with Styrian blood in his veins. What is his name?

Might you be referring to Arnold Schwarzenegger?

No, I mean the one who can’t speak any German at all now.

Frank Stronach?

“My Styrians have always had a feel for what is modern”

Illustration: Nina Ball

FR I DAY, J U N E 20 , 2014

DEAD BULL

5

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DEAD BULL

Get away with you. No! What is his name again? The impresario…

Spielberg!

Steven Spielberg, of course. An excellent choice. Do you know his family from back in their Styrian days?

His ancestors moved here from Hungary in the 1830s and for a time they served the Count up in the castle. Hence the name, writer!

Speaking of Spielberg, what does the Prince have to say on the subject of the Austrian Grand Prix? The kings of motorsport will drive in Austria once again. Are you proud?

That is wonderful. Although I would rather it was the emperors of motorsport.

Let’s say the Archduke was going to join a Formula One team, which one would you choose?

Well, again, I’m not such an expert. But it would probably have to be a multinational team, a creative mixture of cultures that would foster understanding between peoples.

Say one that had an English engineer, a French engine, a Prussian coachman, but, of course, all under Austrian supervision. I would like that sort of group.

That sounds to me very much like Red… Like a redoubtable task? Indeed. But peace and progress were always my political priorities. That and making sure that people had enough to eat.

Talking about French engines and having fought Napoleon, Your Highness is not upset with an Austrian team fraternising with the enemy?

Tommyrot! Yet, I have to admit I wonder why they are not using engines from my Joanneum. … the Graz University of Technology, founded by Your Highness. Styrians owe a lot to the visionary policies you implemented as a private citizen: industry, universities, museums, railways.

“Napoleon, this megalomaniac dwarf can’t have been a bed of roses. He didn’t even attend his own wedding, the scoundrel!”

1859

Josef Kriehuber/Albertina/Vienna

1833

FR I DAY, J U N E 20 , 2014

Hair apparent. Older, but not balder. It’s a shame the Archduke took his secret hair restorer formula to the grave with him

Stop! That’s more than enough praise. I just gave those in charge a bit of a nudge, or touché, as the French might say.

I am, of course, proud that in so doing I was able to help the people of Styria.

There’s even a yodel dedicated to you.

Wherever I walk or stand, people can’t seem to resist singing that old ditty to me. If you will forgive my saying so, I can’t bear to hear it any longer.

What music do you like to listen to?

There is only one song on my cloud: Waterloo.

I see. ABBA’s ode to the triumphant battle against Napoleon. But back to politics. Your common touch made you very popular among the people of Styria. What does Your Serene Highness make of today’s state premiers?

This Red Bull, the Mateschitz chap, I like…

Erm, Your Grace, my most humble apologies. You’re right that the state premier is indeed red, a Social Democrat, but his name is Franz Voves.

Oh, the one with the hockey stick. Indeed. I know him.

Is Your Highness satisfied with his services?

To start with, his politics reminded me of those of my brother, Emperor Francis I. His credo was, “Govern and do not change!” But recently I’ve come to like him more. He is daring to make brave reforms and finds a way – as I did too in my day – to stand up to orders coming from Vienna.

So does the Archduke like modern-day Austria?

Verily! Compared to my day, Austrians now live their lives in happiness and peace. Even if there are still reasons to complain, endless war has indeed come to an end and now we only do battle with other nations through motorsport.

And football. Do you have a quick tip for the World Cup final in Brazil?

3:0.

Got that. And what does Your Serene Highness wish for the future of Styria?

My dear fellow, the Styrians will do the right thing. As I’m in the habit of saying: Styrian blood isn’t raspberry juice.

But what is it then?

It’s an energy drink.

FR I DAY, J U N E 20 , 2014

INTERVIEW

EITHER/OR

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Cruelly forcing drivers to make a choice…

NAME: Jean-Eric Vergne NATIONALITY: French TEAM: Scuderia Toro Rosso

13. FERRARI OR DUCATI? C CATI? Ferrari. I need four wheels.

YACHT 14. YA Y ACHT OR PLANE? AC Plane.

1. ROGER MOORE OR DANIEL CRAIG? Pierce Brosnan. He was the real James Bond.

2. JEAN DUJARDIN OR VINCENT CASSEL? Vincent Cassel.

3. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES? Blondes. I have to [JEV’s girlfriend, Petra, is blonde].

4. WET RAC RACE A E OR DRY AC DR RACE? RAC A E? AC Dry race.

5. LEWIS OR NICO? Mercedes.

6. KARTS OR F3?

F3.

7. PASTA OR STEAK? Steak.

8. IPHONE OR SAMSUNG? iPhone.

9. NIGHTCLUB OR PUB? Pub.

Photography: Getty Images

10. BEER OR WINE? Wine.

11. READING OR SHOPPING? Shopping. I don’t know how to read.

No, I’m kidding!

MONACO 12. MONA MONAC O OR SPA? SP Monaco.

BEACH 15. BEA BEAC H OR MOUNTAINS? Beach in the summer, mountains in the winter.

OR 16. ROCK CK O R HIP-HOP? Hip-hop.

17. MANHATTAN PENTHOUSE OR SWISS CHALET? Manhattan penthouse.

18. PROST OR SENNA? I would like to have known Senna like I know Alain, so I cannot make a choice.

OR 19. LAUDA DA O D R HUNT? Put the two together and you have the greatest driver ever. If I had a team, I would have hired them both.

TRACTION 20. TRAC A TION CONTROL OR AC POWERSLIDES? I wish I could have driven a car with traction control, that would have been nice.

21. V8 OR V6?

V8.

22. MONEY OR GLORY? R RY? Money. You cannot buy a house with glory.

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BULLHORN

FR I DAY, J U N E 20 , 2014

Three Commentaries

BEFORE ZERO HOUR 1

SPIELBERG 1970 – THE FIRST AUSTRIAN GRAND PRIX. The very first Austrian Grand Prix was one of the greatest moments in my life. In the wee small hours of the morning, the circuit was still completely covered in fog, but when it lifted around midday, I saw 100,000 people at the circuit. It was a stunning sight.

We’d never seen anything like it in Austria before.

Most of the people there had come to see one driver, of course: Jochen Rindt. If Jochen hadn’t made his way up to the top flight of the sport, they probably wouldn’t have built the circuit in such a short time. You have to understand that there was complete Rindt mania at the time. In 1970, I met an excavator driver who had a single photograph in his digger. It was of Jochen Rindt. He went down well with everyone because of his charisma and his gangly way. Even old women and grannies liked him.

Everyone wanted their son or grandson to be like him and baby after baby was christened Jochen.

But sadly Jochen Rindt had to retire on lap 22 with engine failure that day, and it ended up being a Ferrari one-two for Jacky Ickx and Clay Regazzoni. At the chequered flag, the Tifosi came streaming down Mercedes Hill and ripped down the fences. It was like looking at something from the Greco-Persian Wars.

But it was another generation of drivers that brought out that level of enthusiasm in the spectators, and chiefly because they were a lot more accessible. You could sit on the pit wall at the old Österreichring and have a chat with Emerson Fittipaldi and Jackie Stewart. Now you’re unlikely to get a chance to talk to the drivers one on one. They are

“Forget it buddy, with a car like this you don’t stand a chance with me – there isn’t even a back seat.”

presented for press conferences and the press officers make sure that nothing is said. The likes of Rindt, Fittipaldi or Stewart would never have allowed themselves to be muzzled.

How unprofessional it all was! The organisers from the Knittelfeld Motorsport Club were all amateurs. They had jobs on the railways or ran pubs nearby. And the farmers from the area took the cash. After each Grand Prix, they would empty the cash out onto a long table and count it by hand. One time the ORF [Austrian Broadcasting] helicopter landed close by while they were doing so and all the money went flying.

Bernie Ecclestone always had a soft spot for Styria and the Österreichring precisely because everything was still so quaint and untouched. One day a cow even came into in Ecclestone’s office. I’m sure that the Österreichring is the only circuit in the world where that’s happened to him.

Whereas now it is rule overkill. Every dustbin has regulations applied to it. And drivers need to be aware of very different things from back then if they are to make the most of all the electronic assistance they have at their disposal. But you can’t have it all. Then, there was an underlying risk of death clouding Formula One. The drivers accepted it and spectators were on the lookout for it. And just a couple of weeks after the first Austrian Grand Prix, it felt like everything had come to an end again. Jochen Rindt had his fatal accident at Monza on September 5, 1970.

On the evening of Jochen Rindt’s crash, I had dinner at a small pizzeria with Dr Gustav Tiroch, the chairman of the motorsport club and “father” of the Österreichring.

The mood was awful. Tiroch said, “We have a permanent racetrack at long last and Rindt is dead.” It was zero hour for the Österreichring. But after Rindt came a certain Niki Lauda. He was a three-time world champion and became the nation’s hero after his car was engulfed in flames at the Nürburgring in 1976.

But let us not mourn for the old days.

Formula One in the 1970s was somewhere in the Dark Ages where safety was concerned.

Now you can scrape the crash barrier at 300kph and come off unscathed. And the Red Bull Ring is very different now, too.

Obviously it meets all the safety requirements as far as curve radii and run-off areas are concerned. The cars are fitted with carbonfibre cells and belt systems that have to undergo rigorous crash tests. Jochen Rindt wasn’t even wearing a belt. He went under the crash barrier at Monza and was killed.

Who knows? Maybe if his car had had carbonfibre cells, nothing would have happened.

Illustrationen: Nina Ball, Dietmar Kainrath

By Helmut Zwickl

FR I DAY, J U N E 20 , 2014

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BULLHORN

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By Eddie Irvine

2

PACE VS POKER. Formula One was another life. It feels like I was another person. I’m happier these days because I’m no longer the product.

I never liked being the product. I have businesses and investments now – shipping, software, all sorts – and although I set the game plan I have people who run everything for me, so I’m free to do what I want to do. My number one priority is my private island in the Bahamas. It’s a piece of art. I wanted to be CEO of my own island because I always watched Robinson Crusoe as a kid. I like to spend time alone and I enjoy diving for my dinner.

Austria 1999 – hardly remember it. Can’t remember where I qualified.

I recall David Coulthard pushed Mika Hakkinen off the track, and then he fell asleep in the middle of the race.

We didn’t really have the pace to win, so to do so was a bit of a surprise.

McLaren were quicker all year, but they kept making mistakes. It was like

the tortoise versus the hare. At Ferrari, we didn’t realise we had a chance to win the drivers’ title until it was too late. The team took the 1999 car out of the wind tunnel halfway through the season and replaced it with the 2000.

If they’d kept up development maybe I could have won the championship.

In fairness, though, the work on the 2000 car paid off. They’d spent so long on it they blitzed everyone.

It’s been a long time since Ferrari had the best car. I reckon it’ll get worse before it gets better. They need a new dream team, like before. Jean Todt is as smart as anyone I’ve ever met. In Michael Schumacher, they hired the best driver of his era by a country mile. They got Ross Brawn and Rory Byrne.

Ross deserves a lot of the credit for Mercedes this season. There are people in Brackley basking in the sunshine of his work. I think it could unravel next year, without him. You need that one guy who sees the big

picture. If Ferrari could lure him back that would be the ticket, but it sounds like he’s done with F1.

I think the new F1 regs are alright.

The cars look great and sound fine.

I never thought the V8s were much cop compared to V12s anyway. The problem is the circuits. They’re so anaesthetised, so dumbed down and boring. Take the noise away and you realise there’s nothing left. You’ve got to pay the price for screwing up.

At least we have a good fight out front. Lewis Hamilton seems to have the edge on pace, but Nico Rosberg is a clever boy. I’ve played poker with him, he’s a sharp cookie. Normally you’d bet on the fastest driver winning the title, but it’s not always the way.

Alain Prost was the quicker driver when he was teammates with Niki Lauda in 1984, but Lauda made the most of every opportunity and finished the season ahead by half a point.

Strangely, I remember their battles better than I do my own.

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B U L L’S E Y E

FR I DAY, J U N E 20 , 2014

CANDID CAMERA The bull’s eye sees all. And he just got his pictures back from the pharmacist.

Let the restraining orders commence

Archaeologists were very excited to find conclusive proof in these newly discovered paintings that Neanderthal man had been interested in motor racing

Bernie still checks to see if passes are genuine the oldfashioned way

Eager to please his Sauber team, Guttierez changed his name to Swiss Bob

Photography: Lukas Gorys (1), Grand Prix Photo (1), Sutton Motorsport Images (2)

Fernando would not be happy to see his girlfriend hanging out with the fans again

FR I DAY, J U N E 20 , 2014

11

B U L L’S E Y E out of it, but Sutil They tried to talk him n clothes for insisted on wearing his ow the fashion show

“Hello, Race Control? This is marshal 1144.

We need some Red Bull, urgently!”

Photography: Lukas Gorys (1), Grand Prix Photo (4), Sutton Motorsport Images (1)

Lewis kept his cool, singing soothing songs to the mad old man who had managed to get on the podium, until the police could get there and take him away

“If I can just bury the car in the gravel, maybe they won’t notice I crashed”

“I don’t believe it.” Juan was horrified to see that the new F1 car minimum weight limit would involve going on another diet”

Christian can’t believe Seb was stupid enough to buy Adrian a book about the America’s Cup for his birthday

12

FACEBULL

FR I DAY, J U N E 20 , 2014

BEST FRIENDS FOREVER Just after Monaco, our cyber stalking team hacked Lewis Hamilton’s Facebook account. Which, we know, is a bit naughty PIZZA NUT

Lewis Hamilton

This pizza will make you like crazy.

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4.4 million people like him 6 are talking about this

PIZZA WIZZARD

Nico: Afternoon, Grumpy. The Terminator says we have to shake hands and be friends. So, this is me, extending an olive branch. How about we pose for a pizza picture and pretend to let bygones by bygones?

20 minutes ago • Like •

19 minutes ago • Like •

1

Nico: C’mon don’t be like that. It was an honest mistake.

18 minutes ago • Like •

20

Nico: Oh good, we’re back on where we grew up.

Please do tell me again about your deprived childhood on the mean streets of Stevenage. Yours really is the story of triumph against adversity. They should make it into a movie. You could be an inspiration for millions. Rising from the gutter with nothing more than your wits and a massive cheque from McLaren.

You’re a real hero of the downtrodden.

10

Lewis: Honest mistake? You forgot the track turns right and not left? Just how special are you? You’ve only lived there for 28 years.

17 minutes ago • Like •

9

Lewis: You don’t know what it was like! How could you! You’ve never felt hot, salty tears of shame that come from having to do the 24 Hours of Buckmore Park on second-hand tyres. We live in totally different worlds.

15 minutes ago • Like •

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PEACE PIZZA

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Nico: We live in the same building.

Lewis: You’ll never be as hungry as me.

14 minutes ago • Like •

13 minutes ago • Like •

34

Nico: Well one of us should at least try. Pizza.

Tonight.

12 minutes ago • Like •

44

Nico: Well, that’s up to you – but you know what will happen if we don’t pose for the picture.

10 minutes ago • Like •

57

Nico: They would…

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Lewis: Don’t be smart 11 minutes ago • Like •

Yummy, pigeon wings instead of chicken.

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Lewis: Don’t want your stupid pizza.

9 minutes ago • Like •

98

Nico: They could.

7 minutes ago • Like •

4

Lewis: They couldn’t…

6 minutes ago • Like •

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Nico: Yup, ‘fraid so. And the more you walk around the paddock with a face like a slapped arse, the more inevitable it is we’re going to be on the receiving end of…

6 minutes ago • Like •

3

Ronico and Lewiet. The new bestseller. True love. True tragedy.

True (title) match.

Lewis: You don’t mean…

4 minutes ago • Like •

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2

446

Nico: That’s right, they’re going to lock us in a room with a man who’s crazier than a cut snake. You know he’s going to bang on about respect and make us watch that film again. By the time he’s through, we’ll be so desperate to get out we’ll make Romeo and Juliet looks like Vettel and Webber. And, as usual it’s going to be YOUR FAULT. But if that’s what you really want, then fine. three minutes ago • Like •

AMORZONE

5

Lewis: They wouldn’t…

8 minutes ago • Like •

5 minutes ago • Like •

Pizza Nut needs to learn how to make pizzas. We ordered half pep and supreme and one half Hawaiian and bar b que pan crust. We got thin crust with what they called cheese pizza and it tasted just like the box it was in.

Customer service

644

MORE BUCKS! PARK

Lewis: MENTORING FROM NIKI! two minutes ago • Like •

1

Lewis: Um… so, thin-crust Hawaiian then? one minute ago • Like •

0

Kent, England. Lovely house for rent or sale.

Comes with a park of second-hand cars.

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Photography: Sutton Motorsport Images, shutterstock.com

16 minutes ago • Like •

Lewis: You know where you can stick that olive branch don’t you?

13

BULLSKY

FR I DAY, J U N E 20 , 2014

H0ROSCOPE On Earth as it is in Heaven. And on the circuit as it is in the Milky Way. Star astrologer Boro Petricelli has interpreted the tyre marks left by the planets and knows for certain that the Moon in Aries favours warriors who really want to win. And Germany. So, a German team will win on Sunday. Or a German driver

THREE FORMER WORLD CHAMPIONS CAN THEY STILL WIN? FERNANDO ALONSO July 29, 1981. World champion: 2005, 2006 Last win: May 2013

JENSON BUTTON January 19, 1980 Champion in: 2009 Last win: Nov 2012

KIMI RÄIKKÖNEN October 17, 1979 Champion in: 2007 Last win: March 2013

Venus is smiling on Alonso. It’s enough to give him a good hair day, but it can’t make the Ferrari quick. He’ll score some points – and not just with the ladies.

Mars is sticking by Button, just as it stuck by him in Barcelona and Shanghai. That’ll be good enough for him to finish 11th, but not to win. What a pain!

There’s not much to see in his stars. And we won’t see a lot of him in the race. Maybe the Iceman would be better off going skiing in the Alps.

TWO PODIUM FINISHERS CAN THEY DO IT AGAIN? KEVIN MAGNUSSEN October 5, 1992, second in Australia

SERGIO PÉREZ December 26, 1989, third in Bahrain

Mercury likes Magnussen right now. With the haste of the god of speed, his McLaren will dash to a spot on the podium – or very close to it.

Shiva, Vishnu and Brahma – the real forces of India – will get Pérez or Hülkenberg onto the podium. Or both of them. That’s fantantric.

SIX DRIVERS: ZERO POINTS WHO’LL BE THE FIRST TO SCORE? ADRIAN SUTIL MARCUS ERICSSON E GUTIERREZ MAX CHILTON KAMUI KOBAYASHI P MALDONADO Jan 11, 1983. Saturn Sept 2, 1990. Mars is Aug 5, 1991.

Apr 21, 1991. He’ll Sept 13, 1986. Best Mar 9, 1985. Jupiter will put his foot on the pushing too hard. Mercury will be quick. stick in our memory. stars of all six of them. says let’s get a move brakes and he’ll retire.

Engine failure.

Quick to disappoint.

For getting stuck.

Six points for him. on. To the pits.

Illustrationen: Isabel Erlebach

20.06.2014

WEATHER MORNING

AFTERNOON

15 °

19 °

Spielberg. Isolated showers at first, but the clouds should break up. Warm, sunny spells later in the afternoon.

NIGHT

TOMORROW

9 °

22 °

Provided by UBIMET. We hope our meteorologists’ predictions will be as precise as our astrologer’s. www.ubimet.com

FR I DAY, J U N E 20 , 2014

UNAS

FORM FORMULA

14

These ladies are all winners, but we wanted to find out which one of them would be crowned Miss Speed for answering our questionnaire in the quickest time.

As a prize, they all got to wear

1.

SIMONE 22 Dental assistant from Aurach am Hongar Time to reply Fastest of all Your first Formula One experience?

The Austrian Grand Prix in 2003. I was 12 and thrilled by the roaring engines. You like fast cars? I do.

I own a 210hp Mini Cooper S. And I would love to have it converted into a real race car. Who’s your favourite driver?

Michael Schumacher.

2.

SIGRID 22 Student from Graz Time to reply +1h 8min Who’s your favourite F1 driver?

Daniel Ricciardo.

What will you do to impress him?

Support him with a professional smile.

Is that all? Or I could show him how I can squeeze into the narrowest of parking spots.

Are you a good driver? Absolutely.

And I love going fast. Too fast, sometimes.

3.

MATEA 20 Model from Leibnitz Time to reply +1h 28min Just before the start of the Grand Prix, with millions watching on TV, your heels get stuck in the hot asphalt. What do you do? I ask a strong man for help. Any strong man? No, it would have to be a Formula One race winner. What would you do to impress him in return? I would always stay by his side. And try never to complain about his driving.

Photography: Stefan Leitner/Red Bull Content Pool

dirndls!

15

FR I DAY, J U N E 20 , 2014

4.

5.

KATHARINA 24 Office worker from Vienna Time to reply +4h 13min As one of the Unas, you are wearing an original Styrian dirndl. Do you think more women should wear this traditional garment? Dirndls are great if you want to accentuate your feminine curves. It would be really cool if more girls wore them. But, you know, everybody should wear what they like. Who is your favourite driver? Nico Rosberg ;-)

6.

JULIA 25 Pharmaceutical consultant from St Johann in Tirol Time to reply +7h 26min How could an F1 driver impress you?

By starting fast and staying on the gas.

Sounds like good advice. Do you have more like that? The later you brake the longer you’re fast. What is your earliest F1 memory? Watching Grand Prix races as a little girl on TV with my dad, wondering how he could be so enthusiastic about cars going in circles. Later, I got it.

OLIVIA 23 Student from Brunn am Gebirge Time to reply +7h 44min Who is your favourite F1 driver of all time?

Juan Pablo Montoya.

Interesting choice.

Why? My dad once brought me an original BMW Williams cap with a Montoya autograph.

Why do you think more women should wear traditional Styrian dirndls? Because they turn chicks into ladies.

7.

KERSTIN 25 Project manager from Salzburg Time to reply +8h 38min What is your best Spielberg memory?

I remember the spectacular 2002 Grand Prix with that Heidfeld/Sato crash. And Barrichello was told to hand victory to Schumacher. What are the qualities you look for in a driver? He has to test his limits and always keep a cool head.

16

FR I DAY, J U N E 20 , 2014

8.

BIANCA 22 Waitress and model from Judenburg Time to reply +9h 30min What is your earliest Formula One memory?

I have been watching F1 races on TV ever since I can remember. Always with my dad and grandpa.

Who’s your favourite driver? Jenson Button.

Your favourite F1 season?

2009. When Jenson won.

9.

JOHANNA 19 student from Schladming Time to reply +21h 51min How will you try to make an impression on the drivers? I will be friendly, charming, and funny.

And how can they impress you? By being friendly, charming, funny and handsome. Any advice for them? Braking makes the rims dirty.

10.

MELANIE 20 Student from Tragwein Time to reply +1d 1h 25min Who is your favourite F1 driver of all time? Michael Schumacher. What do you look for in a driver? He has to show courage. On the track, in interviews with the press, always.

Your motto for Spielberg? Rock that party! This weekend is going to be a small bit of my lifetime, but a great part of my life experience. Any concrete plans for the future? Spielberg 2015!

KATHARINA 21 Student from Deutsch-Feistritz, Time to reply +1d 2h 18min Your earliest F1 memory? Playing against my brother on the Xbox. And never being in pole position.

Your favourite F1 legend? Niki Lauda, definitely. The movie Rush impressed me a lot.

Is this your first Grand Prix? Yes! But not my last. I will be at the Singapore GP next year.

Photography: Stefan Leitner/Red Bull Content Pool

11.

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FR I DAY, J U N E 20 , 2014

13.

12.

KERSTIN 26 Bank employee from Admont Time to reply +1d 3h 14min How are your driving skills? Great! I can even do my make-up while driving.

No weaknesses? No. Unless you tell me reverse parking is a necessary skill.

BIANCA 27 Logistics provider from Rutzenmoos Time to reply +1d 4h 30min How can a driver impress you? He has to be fast, charming and fair to his opponents.

And what would you do to impress him?

I don’t have to impress any of them, I’ve got my favourite pilot at home already.

Why do you like wearing a dirndl? Because it is perfect for every occasion.

15.

14.

KATHARINA 21 Fashion design assistant from Bad Goisern Time to reply +1d 3h 14min Who is your favourite driver of all time? My Papa in his Jeep – round those tight curves on the way to our mountain hut.

Are you a good driver yourself? Sure. Want a ride on my motorcycle?

JULIA 27 Accountant from Rutzenmoos Time to reply +1d 5h 18min Early F1 memories? For every Grand Prix, my family would build a ‘fan zone’ in the garage.

Who is your favourite F1 driver? Lewis Hamilton. He’s stayed modest in his success, I like that. And what will you do to make an impression on him? I will support him and cheer him on, whether he is winning or losing.

All Unas: www.seitenblicke.at/formula-unas

18

B U L L’S M A P

FR I DAY, J U N E 20 , 2014

BEST OF SPIELBERG

AROUND THE RING Who’s fool enough to spend three days in a row at a Formula One track?

We are. Therefore, we recommend a Red Bull Ring-hike during motorsport’s

DRINK

EAT

SLEEP

Café Wasserturm Bundesstraße 15, 8740 Zeltweg Soft furnishings in the shade of birch trees, a huge deck and a former water tower – hence the name – with panoramic lounge. The perfect place for a relaxing breakfast, a cosy afternoon or an evening out with a broad view over Spielberg. We particularly recommend the sweet, perfectly square pieces of cake from their own patisserie. They are – how did you guess – dedicated to Spielberg. www.hotel-steirerschloessl.at

Bull’s Lane Red Bull Ring Straße 1, 8724 Spielberg Connoisseurs have known this for ages: a juicy steak tastes particularly good when cars are hurtling like mad around the track and there’s a smell of burning rubber lingering in the air. Positioned right next to the track with a view of the finishing straight, this highend bistro is the Ring’s culinary highlight. And even when it’s all quiet on the track, they’re still cooking here with sporting passion. www.bulls-lane.at

Hofwirt Seckau 3, 8732 Seckau A name says a lot, as a place called Spielberg knows all too well. The Hofwirt – Host to the Court – has been serving good home cooking since 1603.

Styrian delicacies and other hearty amuse-bouches are now served under magnificent stucco ceilings in this listed baroque building. A ballroom that can hold 120, an exquisite wine cellar, two summer terraces and a gazebo all make sure that the guests get everything they expect from an establishment worthy of the name. www.hotel-hofwirt.at

Schönberghof Höhenstraße 1, 8724 Spielberg No wonder this is the place to meet the most ardent Formula One fans. The Schönberghof is on a small hill surrounded by green meadows and idyllic farmhouses. This venue with an amazing view of the Red Bull Ring serves more than just Styrian specialities. And if you spend the night at the Schönberghof, you’re guaranteed some very private motorsport pleasure on your own terrace. www.landhotel-schoenberghof.at

Guesthouse Enzinger Red Bull Ring Str. 18, 8724 Spielberg Close to the Schönberghof is the Enzinger Inn, and its views are just as spectacular. Whether you choose the balcony in your own room, the sun deck or the events room, this is a place to leave your cares behind after an eventful day. www.landhotel-schoenberghof.at

G’schlössl Murtal Murhof 1, 8734 Großlobming This is a luxury retreat. A place where every wish is granted. With an 18,000m2 park, spacious indoor riding arena, modern stalls and numerous natural riding paths, the G’Schlössl Murtal is a dream for any horse. And their owners don’t have too bad a time of things here either.

After all, there are 25 suites and maisonettes, an abundance of sport and spa facilities and a spacious garden for their guests. And if it does so happen that you prefer the smell of engine oil to hay, then you’ll still feel at home in this G’Schlössl. The racetrack – no horses – is close by. www.gschloessl-murtal.at

Steirerschlössl Hauptstraße 100, 8740 Zeltweg Those who have had enough of screeching tyres and roaring engines should withdraw to the luxurious Steirerschlössel. The art nouveau hotel in the heart of Zeltweg offers individually designed suites, a well-stocked wine cellar and a restaurant serving Styrian and international specialities that has been awarded 16 points by Gault Millau. You can also go fishing, play golf or recharge your batteries for the next race at the spa at this secluded retreat. www.hotel-steirerschloessl.at

Illustrations: Robert Rottensteiner

off-season and these gorgeous rest stops

19

THE FORMULA 1 MENU

FR I DAY, J U N E 20 , 2014

STYRIAN PUMPKIN SEED OIL

MOTOR OIL FOR THE BODY We requested – or rather, begged – Johannes Marterer to work his magic on a menu using pumpkin seed oil. The

Method: Wash, deseed and halve the cucumbers before cutting them into pieces. Gently warm the chicken stock. Purée the remaining ingredients in a mixer. Season with salt, cayenne pepper, Worcestershire sauce and let it cool. Pour into chilled bowls, drizzle with a little oil and serve ice-cold with a dollop of sour cream.

wizard of haute cuisine heads the kitchen at the Hotel Steirerschlössl, and here he conjures up a worldclass F1 menu which brings toque and torque together. However you won’t find pumpkin seed oil, aka Styrian black gold, in his eatery, which was awarded two chef’s hats. We think his brand of culinary perfection deserves

SOUS-VIDE POACHED VENISON IN A HERB CRUST Ingredients: 20ml olive oil 5 pimento seeds, Sea salt, pepper crushed 30g butter 500g trimmed saddle 2 sprigs of rosemary of venison Method: Lightly toast the crushed pimento seeds and place in a vacuum bag with the venison and olive oil.

Vacuum-pack and cook in a bain-marie for 35 minutes at 61°C. Set aside in a warm place to rest for five minutes. Remove from vacuum bag and season with salt and pepper. Brown briefly in a frying pan with butter and rosemary and then slice.

If you ask us, the perfect accompaniment would be a green salad with – pumpkin seed oil dressing.

four helmets – but we have made a few subtle changes to his recipes.

Photography: Markus Kucera

All recipes feed 4.

Find out more: at Hotel Steirerschlössl you’re not only spoiled for culinary choice, you can also go ladle-to-ladle with the head chef himself on a cooking course. www.hotel-steirerschloessl.at COLD CUCUMBER SOUP Ingredients: the soup a certain je ne 600g cucumber sais quoi) 75ml chicken stock 1 tablespoon sugar 2 cloves of garlic Salt, pepper, 20g shallots Worcestershire sauce 150ml cream and cayenne pepper 10ml tarragon vinegar Sour cream to serve 5ml olive oil (we think pumpkin seed oil lends

PLUM GRANITA Ingredients 250g pitted plums 20g vanilla sugar 200ml plum juice 50ml ruby port

1 lemon 20ml plum liqueur 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Method: Wash and pit the plums, then cut into large pieces of equal size and sauté with the vanilla sugar, adding the plum juice and port. Squeeze the lemon and stir the juice into the mixture. Strain through a sieve and finally add the plum liqueur and cinnamon to taste.

Pour into a flat dish and place in the freezer compartment. After two hours, scratch it with a knife and return to the freezer. Repeat hourly until fine crystals form.

We suggest – on our own authority – serving with vanilla ice cream and pumpkin seed oil.

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FR I DAY, J U N E 20 , 2014

JOCHEN

LEGENDS

With four consecutive victories up his sleeve, always unbeaten when he made it to the finish (rather than dropping out due to engine damage), Rindt came to Styria. And the state built the new Österreichring for him. But it was here, of all places, that Rindt was forced to withdraw on lap 21 of his first home Grand Prix, on August 16, 1970. It was to be his last-ever racing lap.

Faster than life. The first GP at the Österreichring was the last in Jochen Rindt’s lifetime.

The shining hero of a new generation became the only posthumous F1 world champion

Idol in the Lotus. Rindt was a star. Men wanted to be like him, women just wanted him.

Immortal world champion. Three weeks after Spielberg, Jochen Rindt was dead. During practice at Monza, his car left the track on a straight, his brake shaft broken, and Rindt slammed into the crash barriers. At the end of the year, Rindt was world champion, five points ahead of Jacky Ickx.

FR I DAY, J U N E 20 , 2014

21

LEGENDS

RINDT

Photography: Rainer W. Schlegelmilch/Getty Images

Dream duo. Rindt’s wife, Nina, was more than a model, fashion icon and the most-envied woman on the Formula One circuit. At the racetrack, this seriousminded Finn was part of Jochen’s team. She recorded lap times and ensured balance in every aspect of their lives. But getting Mr Cool to give up the cigarettes was not on her agenda. He simply looked too smooth…

REBULL

FR I DAY, J U N E 20 , 2014

NEW RULES

MORE DRIVE Double the points in the last race to make Formula One even more exciting? We’d like to add our own two cents to make sure the thrill of the race will become unbearable – how about Auto Polo POLE POSITION FOR THE LOSERS Want an exciting season until the very end? Just get rid of qualifying and let the drivers start in the reverse order of the championship standings.

At the first race, a draw would decide the order of the cars.

CAR LOTTERY For an even more thrilling race experience, get the drivers had to race in cars that were allotted to them by ballot. Could Lewis Hamilton win in a Sauber? Would Valterri Bottas leave anyone behind in a dominant Mercedes? All questions that could finally be answered for good.

SECRET TRACKS How about adding secret tracks and shortcuts like in that spectacular racing game, Mario Kart? And maybe the drivers should be armed with banana skins right now.

REWARD SNAIL PACE Award extra points to the driver who races with the least amount of fuel. This addition to the rules would give a lot more incentive to the drivers at the back of the grid – a clear win-win!

DRIVE, SEX DRIVE Something that’s been criticised a lot during recent years is the driver’s sinking sex appeal. So let’s add a few rules for the driver’s appearance: • Everyone must sport a three-day-old beard • Race suits should be skintight and designed by fashion god Karl Lagerfeld • A yearly driver’s calendar should be produced with the motto, “Less (clothes) is more (skin)”.

Auto Polo Same rules as equestrian polo, but without horses. Came to life in 1902 in the United States, and died out in 1920 with the last driver and mallet man killed on the field.

Photography: George Grantham Bain Collection, Library of Congress

22

23

BULL HEAD

FR I DAY, J U N E 20 , 2014

SPIELBERG IS THE GRAND PRIX

DRAIN YOUR BRAIN This quiz extends over three days, Friday to Sunday. There are 12 questions in total. Get them right and with a bit of luck you could win a weekend for two in Spielberg. Please send your answers to: spielberg@at.redbulletin.com. Join in!

1. Nail your colours to the mast: Which of these images belongs to the Austrian Grand Prix?

A

B

C

D

2. Which Hollywood star was the main square in Spielberg named after?

A

B

Photography: Getty Images, picturedesk.com

3. The Styrian Panther, on Styria’s coat of arms, had to be changed in 1926 after public pressure. Why? A. It was too indecent: red flames were not only seen shooting out of the panther’s mouth, but out of his rear too!

B. It was stolen: the self same panther already adorned the Tyrolean coat of arms.

C. It was out of date: the panther sat atop a mountain which no longer formed part of Styria after 1918.

D. The cat was too fat: the panther looked more like a panda.

C

D

4. Production of which legendary small car began in Styria in the 1950s?

A. Fiat 500 B. Puch 500 C. Audi 500 D. Indy 500

This what you’ll win, if we draw your name out of the hat (and all your answers are right): 1st prize. A weekend for two in Spielberg. 2nd prize. Das große Servus-Kochbuch (the big Servus Cookbook, either to learn to cook or to learn German). 3rd-10th prize. Red Bulletin bath towels, designed to fit on all the beaches of the world, from Melbourne to Abu Dhabi.

24

DR BULL

FR I DAY, J U N E 20 , 2014

WHAT DO YOU SEE HERE? Look closely at this image – what’s the first thing that comes to mind?

Dr Sigmund R Bull will analyse your answer

A FLAT IRON

B WHALE

C NOT A COW

D RED BULL RING

E 34B

Diagnosis: Your guilty conscience is revealed.

You’ve left your wife alone with all your shirts again. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Today’s modern man strikes while the iron’s hot – and does his own laundry.

Diagnosis: Normally, we would never say this – but that is completely the wrong answer. And no, whales don’t come from Wales.

If you’re Austrian: * Diagnosis: Like many Austrians you’re dealing with a pretty severe identity crisis. But even if the rest of the world confuses your beloved Austria with Australia, your inferiority complex is no excuse for besmirching the racetrack with a marsupial.

Diagnosis: A clear case of pathological information overload and overstimulation of the so-called Walker receptors in the cerebellum. The technical term is ButtonHamilton Complex.

Diagnosis: You can look deep into the soul of a woman and you’re a good listener. Also your expertise in curves makes you a better driver.

Treatment: What for?

Don’t change a thing.

Treatment: There’s only one thing which will help: go and see a Formula One race live.

Treatment: Repeat three times a day in the mirror: “I am Austrian – and I’m OK with that.”

* But if you’re not Austrian: Diagnosis: Mixing up Austria and Australia is quite common – even for a Ricciardo fan, which you so obviously are.

Treatment: Eat 20 Mozartkugel and order two tickets for the New Year Concert, or Eurovision Song Contest 2015.

Illustrationen: Isabel Erlebach

Treatment: Iron your wife’s pleated skirt.

Treatment: Join Greenpeace.