Chloe DiChello - Hicks essay

“Yes”

It seems there is a central question that is instilled upon individuals from a young age.

What do you want to be when you grow up? The answer is not always clear, as it is often abstract how one should go about this process. Yet, by finding one’s voice it can lead to discovering who you are and ultimately shape your path.

Since an early age, I remember my teachers always presenting this question to the class at the beginning of each year. Every time I was called on to answer, my mind would start racing.

The options had always felt endless but at the same time my mind was still a void. I felt like I needed to have the correct response then and there. Due to both of my parents being nurses, I felt destined to become one and as a result this was my usual response.

However, as time went on my answer never remained the same. For instance, when I started to take dance classes, I immediately wanted to become a professional dancer. If I picked up a paint brush, I thought I could be the next Picasso. As I watched my first broadway show, I was already imagining myself as an actress. I have a creative mind and was always seeking the answer to what I would become.

One of the biggest challenges that I faced while trying to find the answer to this question was my shyness. I had always felt like a wallflower in most situations. I was the girl whose voice would immediately shrink whenever she was called to answer a question in class. Often, I would even overanalyze how I was going to say “here” when my teacher called out attendance. I struggled with my self-confidence and yearned to find my voice.

As I matured, I realized that in order to come out of my shell, I would have to be willing to participate in activities outside my comfort zone. Being so timid set a boundary between me and a plethora of opportunities I was given. While thinking of my options, I felt acting would be

one of the biggest leaps I could take, making it the perfect way to embark upon this journey. I decided to take not only one, but two classes my freshman year. Acting allowed me to gain the confidence that I was seeking and it gave me a platform to utilize my voice. A new sense of confidence emerged and I began to feel more comfortable in my own skin. Further, I was able to acknowledge that this was just the beginning of finding out who I truly was.

This led to my exploration of a multitude of opportunities that were presented throughout high school. I told myself to say “yes,” when my first instinct would have been to say “no.” For example, I auditioned to be the drum major of my school’s marching band and fortunately was chosen for the position. In this role, I was shouting out commands and leading a band of over one hundred and twenty students. Despite always thinking of myself as quiet, this was a complete contrast and I was thriving. My ability to command authority and become a leader flourished. I finally stopped responding to the voice in my head that frequently held me back. I finally set myself free.

I always felt an underlying pressure that came along with being asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” This question had loomed in my mind for so long. Being asked so often from such a young age, with not much of a direction, made me feel that I needed to know the correct answer right away.

I knew that in order to find this answer, I would have to break free of what so often held me back and in doing so, I went through a journey of self discovery. Thus, I am a young woman who understands her self-worth and displays confidence in her abilities. I keep my shoulders back and my chin up. I take up space in rooms where I would be so quick to make myself feel as

small as possible. I finally realize that I deserve to be in these rooms and there is no need for me to second guess my decisions anymore.

I have also discovered the importance of empowerment and the willingness to take chances. I now take control of my life. I acknowledge my weaknesses and use them to push myself. If I had not been willing to step outside of my comfort zone, this newfound sense of well-being would not have emerged. I have finally taught myself to break the old habit of saying “no'' whenever given an opportunity to leave the box in which I had stuck myself in.

Furthermore, I had finally found my voice. The voice that had always felt so stuck, struggling to find its way out, was now flourishing with no hesitation. The thoughts of crawling back into my small box that I had built myself were nearly gone. My instincts were finally telling me “yes.”