50+Living and Sofia for Today's Woman FEBRUARY 2022

of Western NC

All You Need is Love, and Wine

You Need Me to Knead You Inhale the Good Exhale the Bad

50pluslivingWNC.com

February 2022

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50+Living | February 2022

Love is the one thing you never run short of.

So give plenty to everyone and yourself.

May you celebrate love not only this one day but throughout the year.

Happy Valentines Day!

50+Living of Western NC

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

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7 Chakras and What You Must Know About Them

11

The Climate Change Grape

12

Science-Backed Ways Massage Helps Control Pain

14

20 of the Best Home Improvement Tips

50+Living of Western NC

February 2022 | 50+Living

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50+Living of Western NC

PUBLISHER Tammy Sheppard publisherofsofia@gmail.com GRAPHIC ARTIST Joan Hutt WEB DESIGN Alphie Hyorth CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Gina Trippi ADVERTISING INQUIRIES Mike Demos 828.273.0098 mikedemos@aol.com Bridget Hepler 828.551.9893 brh@risdondesign.com

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Publishers of : WNC Homes & Real Estate, Fine Homes & Design, 50+Living and SOFIA for Today’s Woman

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50+Living | February 2022

AVL Media Inc. P.O. Box 18416 | Asheville, NC 28814

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h All advertising published in 50+Living of Western NC is believed to be truthful and accurate. However AVL Media, Inc. assumes no responsibility and shall have no liability whatsoever for errors, including without limitation, typographical errors or omissions in 50+Living of Western NC. Any reference made to AVL Media, Inc. is not to be construed as making any representation, warranty or guarantee concerning the information on properties advertised in 50+Living of Western NC. The content of all ads contained herein are solely the responsibility of the advertiser. The opinions and statements contained in advertising or elsewhere in this publication are those of the authors of such opinions and are not necessarily those of AVL Media, Inc. AVL Media, Inc. reserves the right to edit or refuse any advertising submitted to this publication

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When living with a serious illness, Four Seasons can help you make the most of each moment and feel better doing it.

Care Navigation Home Care Palliative Care Hospice Care Grief Services Research & Innovation Foundation (828) 692.6178 FourSeasonsCFL.org

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February 2022 | 50+Living

7

7 Chakras

and What You Must Know About Them

C

hakras are energy points within our bodies points where energy from outside us connects with that inside of us. They’re located at various places along the endocrine system (our ductless glands) but each one has its own physical location somewhere in our body. Each chakra corresponds to a color, an endocrine gland, a body function, and an aspect of our mental or emotional life.

ONE: THE ROOT CHAKRA The first chakra is known as the root chakra, and its color is red. It’s located at the base of your spine and it deals with issues involving survival, fear, security, pleasure, pain, and grounding.

The root chakra, in terms of the body, relates to the adrenal glands and our bladder and kidneys. If this chakra is underactive, we’ll be ungrounded and we’ll handle stress by feeling victimized or playing the victim.

We may also avoid issues dealing with responsibility.

If it’s overactive, we will try to control everything around us because of fear that something bad might happen.

We’ll become very jealous, envious, controlling, or obsessive-compulsive in an effort to gain security for ourselves.

Crystals that align with the root chakra include red jasper, garnet, and onyx.

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50+Living | February 2022

TWO: THE SACRAL CHAKRA The second chakra, known also as the sacral chakra, is located just below our navels. Its color is orange and it has to do with issues involving relationships, pleasure, emotion, creativity, fertility, or fears about those things. It includes our adrenal glands and lower intestines.

If this chakra is underactive, we may feel lonely even when we’re in a relationship; we’ll also have little motivation, feel apathetic, or be afraid to express ourselves. If it’s overactive, we might constantly seek relationships because of a fear that coming home to ourselves means being alone. We’ll become obsessive about someone else in an effort to avoid loneliness.

Crystals that align with the sacral chakra include orange calcite, carnelian, and sunstone.

THREE: THE SOLAR PLEXUS CHAKRA The third chakra, known also as the solar plexus chakra, is located at our stomachs. Its color is yellow, and it has to do with issues involving self-esteem, control of our lives, insight into people around us (including ourselves), action and drive, and confidence in that action or drive.

It includes our pancreas, spleen, and stomach.

If this chakra is underactive, we’ll have a hard time standing up for ourselves because of fear that doing so will lead to rejection or failure. We might shy away from responsibility as well as be very self-deprecating.

If it’s overactive we’re bound to become dominating and controlling in our need to take action even when action isn’t necessary or the best option available.

Crystals that align with the solar plexus chakra include yellow jasper, citrine, and amber.

with issues involving insight into our own truth (which includes intuition), imagination (including dreams), psychic abilities, vision (including spiritual visions), and “knowing” without having concrete proof of it. It’s located between our eyes in the middle of our forehead.

FOUR: THE HEART CHAKRA The fourth chakra, or the heart chakra, is represented by the color green, which has to do with issues involving love, compassion, forgiveness, healing, and peace. It includes our heart and lungs.

If this chakra is underactive, we might have a hard time connecting with our intuition or dreams; we may also be out of touch with the spiritual and creative aspects of our lives.

If this chakra is underactive, we might have a hard time loving ourselves or others; we may also have little compassion for those around us because of fear that they’ll hurt us or take advantage of us in some way.

If the heart chakra is overactive, we’ll be so busy trying to love everyone else that we neglect ourselves - which leads to resentment on our part when people don’t meet our expectations (which are set very high). We also tend to become martyrs in an effort to prove how loving we are - but this just makes others resentful instead of appreciative.

Crystals aligned with the heart chakra include green jade, emerald, and malachite.

FIVE: THE THROAT CHAKRA The fifth chakra, known also as the throat chakra, is represented by the color sky blue, which has to do with issues involving our voice, communication, truth, finding our authentic self, and being comfortable in situations where we’re speaking publicly or putting ourselves out there. It includes our thyroid gland, neck, and shoulders.

If this chakra is underactive, we may have a hard time saying no or asserting boundaries because of fear that doing so will lead to rejection by others; we might be very passive even though it doesn’t serve us well, but stands as a way for us not to “rock the boat.”

If this chakra is overactive, we’ll be argumentative, controlling, and perhaps tyrannical in an effort to get our way. We may also have a hard time being honest with ourselves or others because of fear that if we did then it might lead to negative consequences.

Crystals that align with the throat chakra include blue agate, lapis lazuli, azurite, and turquoise.

SIX: THE THIRD EYE CHAKRA The sixth chakra, known also as the third eye chakra, is represented by the color indigo, which has to do

If it’s overactive we’ll likely become closed-minded and unwilling to hear other people’s points of view, even if they make sense. We’ll also probably be stubborn about not accepting things at face value - refusing to trust in anything that can’t be seen with one (or more) of our five senses (including psychic abilities).

Crystals that align with the third eye include indigo fluorite, sodalite, lapis lazuli, and azurite.

SEVEN: THE CROWN CHAKRA The seventh chakra is also referred to as the crown chakra and its color is violet/white, which has to do with issues involving being connected to our higher self/ oversoul, self-knowledge, intuitive knowledge of others, our relationship with the divine (including the presence of God), cosmic consciousness, and wisdom related to what’s best for us at any given time in our lives. It’s located at the top of our head.

If this chakra is underactive, we might have a hard time connecting with our intuition or dreams.

If it’s overactive, we’ll likely be close-minded about anything that can’t be experienced with one (or more) of our five senses (including psychic abilities); we’ll also tend to be less willing to consider logical explanations for things - which could lead us into being gullible and easily hoodwinked.

Crystals that align with the crown chakra include clear quartz, amethyst, selenite, and selenite.

CONCLUSION The chakra system is an important part of our physical, emotional, and spiritual health. By knowing what each chakra represents, what parts of the body and soul it influences, and what can go wrong if it isn’t in balance, we can learn how to keep our auric field clear. Doing this will help us to enjoy much better health in all areas of life.

February 2022 | 50+Living

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50+Living | February 2022

The Climate Change Grape

Zibibbo is over 5,000 years old and dates back to Ancient Egypt. Archeological evidence of winemaking is supported by the illustrations found in the Tomb of Nakht at Thebes. In what many viticulturalists call a viticultural miracle, the grape has not changed much genetically over the course of the 5000 years that it’s been cultivated.

Contributing to its longevity, Zibibbo is versatile and has been over the centuries used as a table grape, a wine grape and a raisin. But it is the very essence of the grape that makes it a survivor. The grape has proved it can endure and flourish in a drought and extreme heat and humidity.

As we come face to face with warmer climatic conditions, Zibibbo is not only the past, but the future!

The bottle of Zibibbo at Metro Wines is Gorghi Tondi, 2020. In the glass, the wine is straw yellow with greenish reflections.

The nose is intense and highly aromatic with aromas of jasmine, orange

By Gina Trippi blossoms, peaches, apricots, and almonds. Aromas are carried through as flavors on the palate and the wine has a long finish. The grapes are organically grown and aged in steel to preserve the bright aromatics and flavors.

And Gorghi Tondi Zibibbo is low in alcohol at only 11.5%. Could this bottle be more perfect? Enjoy a wine that has been a customer favorite for 5,00 years!

Until fairly recently, Zibibbo was considered a myth by the modern world. According to legend, Tanit, a goddess of Carthage, wanted to attract Apollo, one the most admired and respected gods. Following the advice of Venus, the Goddess of Love, Tanit served Apollo a glass of wine made from the vines of Pantelleria, a small island in the middle of the Mediterranean. Zibibbo’s seductive power was so strong that Apollo not only noticed Tanit, but also fell deeply in love with her.

Since ancient times, Zibibbo has been a well-kept secret of the locals in Pantelleria. The wine was not even exported to the Italian mainland until 1880. But today, the secret is out, as Pantelleria has become part of the UNESCO Cultural Heritage of Humanity for traditional viticultural methods still used for vine training. Following this method, Zibibbo is cultivated in holes dug in the ground to protect vines from winds that whip the islands 300 hundred days each year.

Zibibbo is the same grape as Muscat of Alexandria.

Settle down! Muscat does not necessarily mean sweet.

Zibibbo can be made dry or sweet. Many historians say Muscat is the oldest grape family in the world. As the name suggests, Muscat of Alexandria originated from Alexandria, Egypt. The name, Zibibbo, is derived from the Arabic word zabib for raisins.

Both the Phoenicians and the Greeks brought Zibibbo plantings to Sicily and Pantelleria around 800 B.C. And it was during the Roman Empire that the grape traveled north to Europe. Today, Zibibbo is harvested in South Africa, California, Australia, and South America, with over 200 synonyms registered.

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Science-Backed Ways Massage Helps Control Pain

N

othing feels better when you’re stressed out than a relaxing massage. Yet massage is more than just a technique for relaxation. It’s used in various medical settings to relieve stress and relax tight muscles.

Research even suggests that massage may be beneficial for controlling pain.

For example, some research suggests massage can help relieve neck pain, back pain, and headaches. However, unlike pain medications, it only has positive side effects like feeling relaxed and stress-free. But how might massage ease pain?

By Increasing Blood Flow to Tissues When you massage and warm sore achy muscles and other tissues, blood flow to painful areas rises. Increased blood flow means increased oxygenated blood flow to the muscles, tendons, joints, and other tissues of your body. This leads to increased muscle flexibility and reduces muscle spasms. This mechanism of pain relief is beneficial if you have neck pain, back pain, or tightness in one or more muscles. It also feels delightful after a tough workout.

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50+Living | February 2022

By Relaxing Your Body and Easing Stress Another way massage eases pain is by easing stress.

When you’re in a relaxed state, you’re less aware of the discomfort that you’re feeling. A study found that massage helps people with health conditions in hospitals and other acute care settings better deal with pain and psychological aspects of their illness. Those who received massage felt more relaxed, slept better, and experienced less pain.

When you’re constantly stressed, your central nervous system (which includes the brain and spinal cord) is in high alert mode and can’t turn off. This causes a constant flow of chemicals like adrenaline and cortisol through your body, which can create pain and tension. Massage helps balance these chemicals by easing stress, so you feel more relaxed and less aware of pain. It helps restore balance to an overactive nervous system. Many people suffering from chronic pain experience stress due to their condition, and this stress can worsen pain.

Another theory is that massage therapy boosts endorphins, natural pain killers your bod produces

in response to factors like massage and exercise.

Endorphins also promote a feeling of well-being that helps you forget about the pain. These are the same chemicals that explain the runner’s high, the sensation of being at peace with the world runner’s experience during a run.

By Closing Pain Gates According to Harvard Health, the gate control theory of pain may explain some of the benefits of massage for pain control. This theory points out that your spinal cord has “gates” that allow pain messages to travel to the brain. Massage and other forms of touch provide sensory information that blocks the gates that carry pain information to the brain, so you feel more comfortable and experience less pain. So, massage may shut down the transmission lines for pain, at least temporarily.

By Reducing Muscle Spasm One way massage therapy works to reduce pain is by breaking up muscle spasms, which is one of the main contributors to chronic pain. Spasm is when a muscle contracts involuntarily. Such contractions can lead to tension headaches and even muscle tears if severe enough. One way that massage can help with chronic pain is by working out knots in your muscles. It is a form of bodywork that uses manipulation of the soft tissue to relieve muscle tension and pain. When you have chronic pain, your muscles are constantly in a state of spasm.

Massage can help relax these muscles, allowing you to move about easier and feel less pain.

By Shifting the Focus Away from Pain Massage is a diversion. It’s hard to think about pain when you’re relaxing with a massage. By shifting the focus away from pain and towards a calming activity, you give your

body a chance to naturally reduce its stress response.

Massage therapy usually feels quick, which is why most people find it helpful for pain relief.

The Bottom Line Massage feels wonderful but it can also help reduce some types of pain, especially pain related to tight muscles or muscle spasms. Now you know how it works. Take advantage of the pain-relieving benefits that massage offers. It’s safer than using pain medications.

References: Adams R, White B, Beckett C. The effects of massage therapy on pain management in the acute care setting. Int J Ther Massage Bodywork. 2010 Mar 17;3(1):4-11. PMID: 21589696; PMCID: PMC3091428.

“How Massage and Exercise Release Endorphins ....” regenerativemassageclinic.wordpress.com/how-massageand-exercise-release-endorphins/.

“Therapeutic massage for pain relief - Harvard Health.” 01 Jul. 2016, health.harvard.edu/alternative-andcomplementary-medicine/therapeutic-massage-for-pain-relief.

Harvard Health Publishing. “Therapeutic massage for pain relief ”

February 2022 | 50+Living

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20 of the Best

Home Improvement Tips

H

ome improvement is not as simple as building a small addition onto your house. Planning, design, and sensible choices are all in order to make your space the best it can be.

If you’re interested in looking into home improvements for yourself or want to give some helpful tips for those you love, then this article will help you get started. Read on and discover 20 of the best home improvements tips that can upscale your home, add value, and make you fall in love with your home all over again.

clogged up. What’s worse, the blockage stops water from flowing, and the ensuing overspills can severely damage your home. Time to give them a good cleaning with a garden hose or pressure washer. Also, check these parts for any missing or broken pieces. They’ll need replacing ASAP to prevent any serious maintenance bills from coming your way.

3. Install Storm Doors Instead of Regular Doors If you live in a windy area, then storm doors should absolutely be part of your home improvements list. Storm doors are like regular doors but they have additional protection around the opening area of your door. They can be opened in the warm season, but they are mainly used for protection. Storm doors have metal latches, frames, door rests, and hinges to provide you with more protection to your home.

1. Seal the Gaps Between the Baseboards and the Wall It’s one of the simplest ways to get better noise control in the place you live. The gap will let unwanted noises seep into your room or home and will also create an increased echoing effect, which can be a distraction when you are trying to go to sleep. The gaps will also let in a draft, which will greatly affect the temperature of the room, not 4. Increase Storage Space to mention increase your energy bills as you try to combat For those who do not have as much space as they wish, this can be a really helpful step in home improvement. the cold air!

Beautiful or classy storage boxes don’t have to cost a lot of money, so buy some of your favorite boxes and put away 2. Clean Up Your Home’s Downspouts Have you ever thought about how dirty your downspouts any little bits in your home that are making it feel smaller might be? It’s not a pretty sight! First, all of the rain runoff than it is. A cluttered house can be overwhelming and uncomfortable. It is important to declutter your home to flows through the roof and then through the downspout. make it look lighter and more spacious.

When dust and debris settle on them, they quickly get 14

50+Living | February 2022

5. Add Fresh Flowers Fresh flowers bring your home to life and add a splash of color that will make your place feel more personal and bright. Flowers are a cheap feature that can really add warmth and beauty to a room.

6. Replace Old Doors Did you know that an old door can bring down the value of your house? If it’s damaged or not installed properly, then it’s time to upgrade. Nowadays, most doors are more energy-efficient and can be a real upgrade to your home.

Even if you don’t plan on selling your house anytime soon, the new door will last for years to come and will be a better investment in the future.

7. Deep Clean Your Carpets Carpets are one of the most affordable and most important home improvements. Clean carpets keep your home smelling fresh, the floor looking bright, and the air quality high. Carpets that are regularly cleaned also last longer and feel great! You don’t need to worry about hiring a professional company if you can’t afford it, you can hire the right equipment from most hardware stores that will give you the same results for relative pennies.

11. Update Appliances There are many quality appliances such as countertop ovens and refrigerators that will give your home a more expensive look without having a huge price tag. Even the ones that are a little more expensive last longer and do a better job of saving energy than cheaper models.

Appliances that match and look like they are of good quality will instantly make the room look better.

12. Pay for an Energy Audit You can reduce your energy costs by as much as 30% by a well-done home energy audit. The audit will review the different areas of your home such as insulation, ventilation, lighting, ceiling fans, etc., and let you know if there are ways that you can save money on your home’s energy usage.

13. Repair Worn-Out Flooring A worn-out floor can really bring down the value of your house. If you don’t have enough funds to replace the floors, then you should look for a cheaper solution such as adhesive flooring. Since flooring covers such a huge area of your home overall, there will be a noticeable change when you repair or replace it.

8. Use Quality Lighting Lighting is important in many ways - not just for safety, but also for your mood. Bright light can help you wake up in the morning, and dim light will help you sleep better at night. This is a simple home improvement tip that really makes a difference in how you feel at home. Quality lighting is more energy-efficient and will, therefore, decrease your energy bills and save you money.

9. Choose a Neutral Color Scheme Bold is not brave! When it comes to painting the walls, you should always go for neutral tones. These types of shades open up a space, give it more light, and allow your furniture to shine. Don’t ruin a room’s ambiance by adding loud or dark colors.

10. Clean Your Gutters If you want to make sure that they are not clogged by leaves, then you need to give your gutters a good clean on a regular basis. You can also use an automatic blower to keep the gutter clean from leaves and other debris that has fallen into it. Gutters that are full of debris will only lead to leaks and water damage on your property.

February 2022 | 50+Living

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14. Enhance the Curb Appeal Curb appeal is the first thing anyone notices about your home. A clean yard, garage, driveway, and windows will do wonders for the aesthetics of your exterior, and all it takes is some cheap cleaning equipment and a few spare hours.

Furthermore, if you want to sell your home quickly this is an essential step.

15. Clean Mold and Mildew Off the Roof Your roof is probably the most important part of your home because it’s the main defense in keeping the interior of your home dry. The first step in cleaning it is to check for leaks and repair any you find. The next step is to scrub the roof with a good cleaner and rinse it off with water. For extra protection, add some silicone spray or caulk on top of your roof. This will keep the water from entering the roof or causing serious damage 16. Update Hardware You can change the look of your home by updating the hardware on your doors and windows. Hardware is super cheap and you can expect to pay less than a hundred dollars for new door handles, cabinet handles, and so on.

Additionally, if you want, you can also upgrade to keyless entry locks that will make your house look more expensive. Just make sure that you choose the perfect one for your home’s design.

17. Improve the Water Pressure If you don’t have enough water pressure in your home, it could be because the pipes are coated in grime or mineral deposits. Not only does this make your water unclean, but you’ll not be getting the pressure you should. Call a plumber if you’re not sure how to clean the insides of the pipes although in most simple cases, drain unblocking fluid from the store is more than enough.

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50+Living | February 2022

18. Have Good Insulation Insulation is a vital part of your home’s energy conservation strategy. If your home isn’t insulated efficiently, you could be wasting hundreds or even thousands of dollars every year trying to heat your property during the cold months.

19. Avoid Popcorn Ceilings Stucco ceilings are outdated, and quite frankly, ugly. This isn’t the 80s anymore, they have to go. A smooth white ceiling is much more modern.

20. Have A Professional Home Inspection A home inspection can help you learn what needs to be changed about your home, which parts can be improved, which areas need fixing, etc. A professional home inspection will give you a list of the most important areas of your home that need to be dealt with.

Know When to Hire a Professional It’s one thing to know what to do, but it’s another thing to know how to do it. Knowing when it’s a DIY job and knowing when it’s time to call in the professionals is crucial. Especially when it comes to electrical or plumbing work, if you don’t do it correctly, you could cause more damage or injure yourself. However, since most areas of home improvement can be done by yourself, for the most part, you should be able to do up your home, have fun, and greatly improve your living space.

February 2022

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Publisher Tammy Sheppard publisherofsofia@gmail.com

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from the staff of SOFIA!

CONTENTS

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Contributing Writers Peggy Ratusz Laurie Richardone

Contributing Photographer 7 W ant To Start Journaling?

Kate Prince

8 W ays to Show Someone You Care About Them

P.O. Box 18416 Asheville, NC 28814 828-230.7537 thesofiamagazine.com

10 T ake Control of Your Finances 12 W omen Making Music Peggy Ratusz

14 The Gift of Self Love Laurie Richardone

15 V egetable Soup & Basil Pesto Laurie Richardone

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All advertising published in SOFIA is believed to be truthful and accurate. However Sofia Magazine assumes no responsibility and shall have no liability whatsoever for errors, including and without limitation, typographical errors or omissions in SOFIA. Any reference made to Sofia Magazine is not to be construed as making any representation, warranty or guarantee concerning the information advertised in SOFIA. The content of all ads contained herein are solely the responsibility of the advertiser. The opinions and statements contained in advertising or elsewhere in this publication are those of the authors of such opinions and are not necessarily those of Sofia Magazine reserves the right to edit or refuse any advertising submitted to this publication.

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Want To Start Journaling?

Here Are Practical Tips to Set You on Your Way

Maintaining the habit Starting a journal is the easy part; maintaining the habit is harder. It takes self-discipline. If need be, look for help and coaching online to help you stick with the practice.

Below are some pointers to help you maintain the habit.

Start a gratitude list

J

ournaling has many health benefits. It offers you an opportunity to express your thoughts, feelings, and ideas. Among other benefits, journaling helps to improve your memory and to heal you, both physically and psychologically.

Journaling can take many forms.

One day you could make entries in a diary format. The next day you might draw or scribble. Then you could make a list of things for which you are thankful. All these activities are forms of journaling. The idea is to work through your emotions and record your feelings and insights. In the process, you reap physical and emotional benefits.

While there's no right or wrong way to keep a journal, starting may be intimidating. Below are some pointers on how to start, what to expect, and how to keep journaling.

Create a writing routine You could make it first thing in the morning or last thing in the evening.

This will help you stay on track and incorporate journaling into your daily schedule. Ease yourself into journaling by keeping it simple at the beginning. Use your own style and do what feels right for you.

Write about anything You could write about what inspires you, what bothers you, or what you enjoy. Use your journal as an outlet for releasing your emotions. You will find it easier to handle your fears, frustrations, joys, sadness, and other emotions when you write them down.

Don't be limited to writing, especially if you don't enjoy writing. Draw, compose a song, or write a letter.

It's your space. Use it in your way.

You might find online journaling prompts useful.

Have realistic expectations In the beginning, don't expect to unravel great insights into your emotions. This comes with time. Additionally, don't expect journaling to solve all your problems. However, as you progressively get into the habit, you will learn more about yourself and how to handle your emotions.

Be judgment-free Don't censor yourself, don't judge yourself or withhold self-compassion. Be free in your writing, and remember you're writing for your eyes only. Be honest and authentic about your feelings. Express yourself creatively.

Start a list of things for which you are grateful. Add to the list every day.

It could be anything - you got out of bed today; you had a pleasant walk in the park. You can then expound on the list, giving details that help you to appreciate the positive things in your life. This should motivate you to write daily as you examine your feelings.

Write on a diary or calendar Make your journal entries on a large desk calendar or a diary with large spaces. Write a sentence or a list every day. If you miss a day, it will be blank and this should motivate you to write daily.

Make a template To nudge yourself to write, you could create a template that you use every day. Perhaps you could ask yourself a question like, "What did I do well today?" or "What made me happy today?" or "What can I do better tomorrow?" In time, you will get into the habit of writing with these questions at the back of your mind.

Final thoughts Journaling helps to keep you in contact with your thoughts. It can improve your writing, and help you to keep a rein on your emotions.

To reap the rewards, you need to be consistent and make entries daily.

This means taking your journal with you everywhere you go.

February 2022 | thesofiamagazine.com

7

Ways to Show Someone You Care About Them

I

t's important to show loved ones you care about them. Sometimes, you might imagine there's no need because they should simply know. But, even if you've had a relationship with them for a long time, it's still valuable to relay your affection. When you show you care, the bond between you strengthens and you crush any doubts that you hold them in positive regard.

How to show someone you care: Focus on what's important to them You convey your interest in someone when you focus on what's important to them. Your attention to their likes and dislikes expresses your wish to support their happi-

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thesofiamagazine.com | February 2022

ness, and your attention suggests you find them likable.

So, if someone you care for is passionate about saving wildlife or painting, take an interest in these topics. Ask them about the plight of dwindling species or what they like to paint and why. You'll learn more about them and show you care.

Practice active listening People rarely listen well to one another. They are too busy thinking about what they want to say.

Or their minds wander to another subject like what they want to do later. Just as not being listened to makes people feel unloved, listening attentively helps them know you care about them.

Give people your full attention when they speak. Note their body language, what they say, and their

tone of voice. Imagine what you might feel if you were in their shoes and let them speak without interrupting them.

Remember little details Has anyone ever remembered little details about you like your favorite color or why you love your favorite movie? No doubt, if they did, it warmed your heart because you understood it meant they cared for you.

Show you care by making a mental note of the little intrinsic things someone mentions about themselves. They may seem trivial to you, but recalling them demonstrates your affection.

Give support Supporting someone when they need it can help them in practical and emotional ways. It can make them realize how much you care

too. Knowing you are there for them when they are at their lowest point gives them courage and shows affection.

Give someone who needs your support extra attention.

Stay in contact often and ask them what you can do to help. Be available if they need your time and energy when you can, and let them know you care by being thoughtful.

Stay connected You might not always be able to see the people you care about in person, but you can still connect. There are several ways to stay in touch. Phone them, email, or use Skype. Or join classes and carry them out together via Zoom. Don't underestimate the power of old-fashioned snail mail, too. It's heartening to receive a friendly letter through the post.

Show the real you You might not have considered being your authentic self shows you care. But people can sense when you hide essential qualities. It sends the message you don't trust them enough to reveal the actual you.

Let people you care about see the sincere version of you so they can connect with you. Tell them when you're upset so they can be supportive and share your hopes and dreams.

Offer spontaneous kindness You don't need a reason to be kind when you want to show how much you care about someone. Act with unprompted kindness now and then. Give them flowers or a potted plant "just because." Or send an unexpected gift purchased when you were out of town for the day.

Or leave an encouraging or loving note for them to find.

Spend quality time together The amount isn't as significant as the quality of time you spend with someone. Avoid multitasking when you're together. Constant phone checking, for instance, signals lack of care and attention. The message is you find your phone or the people you communicate with on it more interesting. Stick with the person you're with if you go out together too. If you meet new people, introduce them to your companion rather than flit around the room like a lone butterfly.

Share resources You need not always share resources with someone to show you care, but sometimes it's fun, kind, or appropriate because that's what people who are close do.

Some resources are material such as money or food.

Others are practical, like physical help, or spiritual. You can also show you care by sharing knowledge. Teaching someone skills like cooking or gardening, for example, is a valuable gift.

Give validation and acceptance When you validate someone, you accept them as they are, and you acknowledge their views and emotions.

You accept their account of what happens knowing their experience is personal and legitimate, even when yours differs.

It helps to give positive feedback too. Let people know how they affect you. If they lift your mood or help you, or you just appreciate them for being themselves, say so to demonstrate appreciation.

There are many ways to show someone you care about them. They involve giving attention and being thoughtful and generous. One of the terrific things about caring is it's a win-win practice. When you give, you also receive. Happy hormones flood your system and your relationships blossom.

February 2022 | thesofiamagazine.com

9

Take Control of Your Finances

A

ssessing the big picture of your personal

Companies create annual reports for a reason. Whether

finances can be very beneficial when making

you use Excel, Mint, or even old-fashioned pencil and

personal and financial decisions and choices.

paper, first list your assets. How much do you make in

At least once a year, consider taking stock of your assets, liabilities, and financial goals. Understanding how much money you have will help you learn how best to

salary or wages? Do you own your home or rent? Do you have a vehicle? Have you started saving for retirement? Do you have any kind of cash emergency fund?

earn and save the amount of money you want. Consid-

You don't even have to list exact numbers. The idea

er the following tips for understanding your financial

of this exercise is simply to give you a bigger-picture

net worth.

idea of how much you earn and what assets you have.

Track What You Have Most personal finance articles begin by asking you to track your expenses or write down your spending.

However, it is more important to start with the

Knowing what you own, what your earning potential is, and how you save and invest money is what you want to learn by doing this step.

Consider Your Expenses

baseline knowledge of the money and resources

Don't wear yourself out by writing down every penny

you currently have.

you spend for a week or a month. That can become a

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thesofiamagazine.com | February 2022

huge chore very quickly. When you're done doing that, mostly all you have is a list of your least consequential expenses.

If you feel you must record your expenses, focus on the big ones. What do you spend on housing, student loans, car loans, credit card debt, home or life insurance, health insurance premiums, utility bills, ongoing medical and prescription costs, and retirement contributions?

Write the list by either entering expenses as monthly costs (for premiums you pay annually; remember to divide them by 12) or as annual ones. This will give you an idea of the costs in your life that are non-negotiable.

Adding up those expenses gives you a better idea of the real money that you spend each year, and how it compares to the number of your earnings and assets.

improve the way you save money? Make it a goal to investigate ways to increase your retirement contributions.

Are you confused about the best ways to invest money?

Once you understand the big numbers in your life, you

Plan to learn more about the stock market, bonds, or

should examine the more incidental numbers. Even

other investment methods.

small expenses can eventually add up to big ones. Add up what you spend on clothing, gifts, streaming services, subscriptions, food, and recreation. Once you've listed those expenses, go back and consider if you are engaging in smart spending. Do you fully use every subscription you have? Are there ways you can save on your transportation budget?

You don't have to make a specific number of goals. All you have to do is take the goals you make seriously.

Making and meeting even one financial goal per year can make a huge difference over your lifetime.

Educate Yourself on Money Matters Everyone expects to be naturally good at money but

Make Financial Goals

very few people are.

Truly understanding your assets and liabilities can help

Being good with money is often a matter of developing

you better understand your finances. Now you need to

good financial habits and skills. Skills require educa-

think even bigger.

tion. After investigating your finances, take some time

Finance is not only about numbers; it is also about emotion. How do you feel about your money picture?

What would you change about your income and your spending if you could? Your answers to such questions should guide the goals that you make for your money and investments.

Would you like to earn more money? Make it a goal, and consider ways you can achieve it. Write down your

to learn about new money terms and topics. Read some personal investing magazines or websites. Ask people you know financial questions (they don't have to be personal). Watch a YouTube video or take an online class about learning to invest in the stock market.

The more you know about money, and specifically, your money, the better prepared you'll be to earn, save, and use it.

plans for finding a better-paying job, developing a side gig, or asking for a raise. Do you think you could

February 2022 | thesofiamagazine.com

11

Women Making Music Linda Shew Wolf In communion with her spirit

By Peggy Ratusz

Photo by Tom Farr

S

h e’s a graduate of Cornell University. This published author, mother to Julie and Chris and professional saxophonist and electric violinist moved to WNC in 2017 and has been tooting her horn in various ensembles and bands ever since.

For the past 20 years, she’s played in a Middle-Eastern, psychedelic rock group based out of Chicago called Ovadya. Closer to home, you’ll find her performing with Magenta Sunshine, an original Caribbean-funk-pop group as well Swing Step, a swing and jazz quintet. She’s a member of the Rewind House Band, playing 50s-80s dance 12

thesofiamagazine.com | February 2022

music. And she’s part of the “red hot” original funk-jazz group called GrudaTree. The band leaders of these and other groups have invited her to be part of their circles, calling her inspiring and humble.

In July of 2018, I was asked to join Swing Step for a one-off show at The Asheville Guitar Bar. Our first rehearsal for that performance is where my acquaintance with this excellent player and genuine person began.

Because of the hectic holidays and the Omicron variant, Linda and I thought it best for me to send her questions she could write answers to in her own words.

Where were you born and raised?

I was born in Chandler, AZ in October 1952, and I’m the firstborn of four. I have two sisters and a brother, all born within 5 years, so we were quite a tight little tribe.

Once my dad was finished with his Air Force career, we moved back to Ithaca, NY where I was raised.

How old were you when you found yourself drawn to the saxophone and violin?

I took violin in grade and high school but didn’t take it seriously in the sense of a calling or passion. My mother would not let me quit and being an obedient kid, I kept at it. I

spent my college years listening to a boyfriend’s collection of vinyl. He had everything from Hank Williams to the Grateful Dead, from John Coltrane to Charlie Parker. It was the R&B saxophone players who caught my ear. The joyful, physical voice of the saxophone literally pulled at me, and it became my greatest desire to find that voice for myself. I worked at restaurants by day and taught myself the saxophone by night. I was out jamming on an old student model Conn just a few months after I bought it; I was in love!

enter the music zone. When I am developing new tunes with a band, that gives me the impetus to refine parts on my own, and that’s when I dedicate time to personal practice.

I like to focus on complicated jazz heads and solo riffs I admire and play them in all 12 keys until they become like old friends.

When it’s your turn to solo, what are you thinking about, other than the chord progression? Do the lyrics influence your choices and phrasing? Does the tone and texture of a lead singer’s voice influence the way you play?

In my 40s I joined an original band that focused on Middle Eastern modalities (Ovadya) which drew me back to the violin. Since the band was large and loud, I moved to electric violin with all the cool pedals and effects.

Absolutely. What a great set of questions, and you answered them in the way you phrased it. I do find myself responding to the singer’s style and phrasing in the way I start a solo, and it’s satisfying to play something complimentary that leads back naturally to the vocals.

Can you cite a technique in the way you play that sets you apart from others?

Do you work out your solos ahead of time or do you play in the moment?

My sound is more based on lyricism than on impressive speed. I gravitate to melodies and harmonies more than to solos. My greatest satisfaction comes from playing harmonically interesting horn lines and heads. My favorite thing is to listen and respond to what my fellow musicians are doing.

For swing music, I adapt to the kind of campy style horn players had back in the day. For edgy funk music, I like taking liberties with rhythm and searching for the notes that really push the envelope.

What is your rehearsal routine?

I own an editorial company so I relish band rehearsals when I can walk away from my devices and

I’m totally in the moment. I work at keeping the rhythm fresh. I have such a tendency to listen and then respond. I play like a singer who allows a chord to land and then shows it some love.

When playing an instrumental score with a saxophone solo section do you hear evidence of your playing creating something the rest of the band is inspired to follow?

Those are the best moments of co-creation. If someone expresses an idea, I support and augment it.

If I’m expressing an idea, it’s wonderful when others in the group do the same. Weaving lines, ideas and rhythms together is the high point of the night.

Who writes the horn arrangements in the original groups?

There are times that it’s a clean slate situation and one of us will sail in with an idea that is then refined by others in the group.

“They” say that playing saxophone is the closest thing, physically speaking, to singing. Do you aspire to sing more in the future?

I have rare moments where singing is almost as much fun as playing.

But my real voice is the alto sax.

Linda met her now deceased husband, Bobby Wolf when she was in her 20’s. Their daughter Julie posted on social media, this tribute to him in Feb 2020, 4 years after his passing: The first time my dad met my mom, she was playing saxophone in a band he was trying out for in Chicago. When he saw her, he told his friend he was going to marry her because of the way she played. They would play secret love tunes back and forth during rehearsals. They fell in love and got married. They chose each other for 40 years until he passed away at 64 with her by his side.

“Playing music is when I feel most in communion with the spirit of my husband as well as with my own.”

Peggy Ratusz is a vocal coach, song interpreter, and songwriter.

For vocal coaching email her at peggymarie43 @gmail.com February 2022 | thesofiamagazine.com

13

The Gift of Self Love This is the month we think of Cupid, the ancient roman god of love...

by Laurie Richardone

A

ccording to myth, Cupid was the winged messenger of the gods, and Venus, the goddess of love. Cupid encourages us to give gifts to those we love. Does this include giving a gift of love to ourselves?

Could loving yourself be the path to receive the fruitful relationships that we all desire, and deserve, along with a true sense of well being.? Loving thy self pushes us to take care of our own needs, as well as the needs of the people in our life that we care about.

In a world where we’ve been raised to put others first, self-love can often feel selfish. Setting aside time for ourselves can cause feelings of guilt, and we can struggle to maintain a dedicated self-love practice. Intellectually, we know we need to love ourselves, yet oftentimes, we have difficulty giving ourselves permission to experience it. This could simply be a 20 minute yoga class of gentle stretching to get you ready for the day; Or even a beneficial way to end the day. Personally, I have incorporated this practice into my mornings, which has opened the doors to a more rewarding day.

Many of us have learned the importance of success.

We learned how to work hard and the importance of making money; Not to say these lessons can't support us, they do indeed. However, many of us didn’t learn how to keep ourselves feeling fueled for this exciting journey called life.

Fortunately, we’re living in an era where the self-love revolution is gaining momentum, yet we often have trouble doing the work. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we were taught self love and self esteem in elementary school? There are so many opportunities to practice 14

thesofiamagazine.com | February 2022

this nurturing essential skill, no matter what our age is. This will support us to move forward in our life authentically, therefore attracting healthy nourishing relationships.

Let’s find our own inner happiness, so we can give love without feeling depleted, and gain a genuine sense of self.

Shall we bring a bit of self love into the kitchen.? Why not?

It could be making a special dinner for yourself, perhaps a beautiful savory soup, or a healthy sweet, to then share with a friend.

For what better gift than the gift of food…

However you go about this, like any other skill we want to master, takes practice, practice, and practice.

To your good health, If you are a curious cook, join me on my Podcast ~ A taste for All Seasons ~ It is a cooking, cultural, and inspirational way for us to explore the world of food. And… as always, l will share a seasonal recipe, cooking tips, and kitchen essentials that will make your life easier in the kitchen.

You can now listen to all the shows, on Spotify, Apple Podcast, and Google Podcast. We talk to local farmers, where you can learn how to cook your way through the seasons.

Laurie Richardone is a seasonal gluten free chef and certified health coach.

To work with Laurie, visit LaurieRichardone.com

Vegetable Soup & Basil Pesto

by Laurie Richardone

Serves 8 1/2 lb. haricots verts, cut into 3 inch long pieces or in half 2 cups carrots, (1/2 inch dice) 2 cups red potatoes,or other (1/2 inch dice) 1 cup yellow squash (1/2 inch dice) 2 cups chopped yellow/white onion 2 cups chopped leeks, white and light green parts (3 leeks) 2 tsp. sea salt 2 tbsp. extra virgin olive oil 3/4 tsp. fresh ground pepper 3 qt. homemade vegetable stock (recipe below) or organic box stock 1 tsp. saffron threads 1 cup pesto (recipe below) Fresh parmigiano reggiano for finish Heat the oil in a large stock pot or dutch oven. Add onions and leeks and saute over low heat, until they become translucent. (about 10 minutes)

Add in potatoes, carrots, salt, pepper and saute over medium heat for 5 minutes. Add the vegetable stock and saffron. Bring to a low boil.

Then, lower the heat and simmer uncovered until vegetables are tender but still firm. (about 15 minutes) Add the haricot verts and squash.

Simmer for another 5 minutes. Turn heat off, and let sit for 10 minutes.

Taste for seasoning.

Remember you are adding parmigiano, which is salty, therefore wait until the end to add more salt if needed.

When ready to serve add 1/4 cup of pesto to hot soup. Then season to taste.

Parmigiano cheese 1/4 cup tomato paste 1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil Place the garlic, basil, tomato paste and parmigiana in a food processor and pulse a few times.

Start to add the olive oil and continue to pulse until incorporated. You do not want to over mix as the basil can get a bitter taste.

Can be made a few hours ahead and refrigerated. Bring to room temperature when serving.

Buon Appetito

Serve soup in bowls and top with extra pesto and grated parmigiano.

Pesto (makes 1 cup) Adding the tomato paste gives this traditional pesto a french flare 4 garlic cloves 25-30 large basil leaves

For scheduled Cooking Classes in Asheville, Visit: LaurieRichardone.com

3/4 cup freshly grated February 2022 | thesofiamagazine.com

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