Reader's Digest UK Apr 2012

ARD 2011* APRIL EXTRACTS Life in '60s South Africa

by Donald McRae The men who ran across America

by Mark Whitaker

OLYMPIC GOLD The vitamin that could help win medals: p94

CALM DOWN! Clever new ways to keep your cool

Rupert Penry-Jones:

How to... understand kidspeak tackle loneliness

break ba habits

THE NEXT SAINT?

IN SCE' FOO Meet the next generation of polar explorers

Join the Twisuell Tweet @RDigest—and tell us w

"I'd love to play the Roger Moore role" readersdigest.co.uk

9 / I 3 1z1 APRIL 2012

14 03.49

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PRI L 2012

Digegt

featured on the cover are shown in red FEATURES Stories 34 Reasons to Be Cheerful, Part 17 James Brown

heads to Spain to re-enter the world of gigging Not-So-Naked Ambition Rupert Penry-Jones on wanting to play Bond, his OCD tendencies, and why he prefers to keep his clothes on 44 Antarctica: Now and Then Why the South Pole still attracts explorers today—just as it did 100 years ago

"Photographing the Brighton Pug Meetup Group for the 'Best of British' feature was great," says Stuart Conway. "Pugs are so loveable, and the people were fun, too."

Best of British: Clubs and Societies No matter what your interest, you'll find a group to cater for it 62 A Life Less Ordinary: Walking Back to Happiness

How one man is changing attitudes to mental health, one step at a time 68 The Maverick: "Internet Shopping Won't Change

the World After All" Why real stores still win out over surfing and double clicking 72 Brenda Blethyn: "I Remember" The Secrets & Lies

actress on how she was slighted at the Golden Globes—but came out smiling 78 "It Makes Me Mad!" Counting to ten doesn't work 14

"Online shopping has become a real hassle," says freelance writer Richard Asher. "People may eventually tire of jumping through so many hoops just to buy a pencil."

for everyone. So how best to stay cool?

87 Why Are These Men Dressed Like This? Turn to

page 87 to find out what we're talking about 94 Sunshine Superstar Could vitamin D be our secret

weapon in the Olympics?

98 How to Build a Refugee Camp We speak to three

charities about their reactions to a crisis

52

"I first interviewed

Brenda Blethyn in the 1980s," says writer Daphne Lockyer.

"She's since achieved National Treasure status, yet has always remained wonderfully true to her roots."

APRIL 2012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK 1

REGULARS

WELCOME

...at the front

One of the many things I

9 Over to You...

13 Radar: Your Guide to April 18 You Couldn't Make It Up...

21 Word Power 24 In the Future...

28 Instant Expert 30 If I Ruled the World: Fazilet Hadi (plus the best of our readers' tweets)

...at the back 106 1,001 Things Everyone Should Know 112 Medicine: Max Pemberton 114 Health: Susannah Hickling 118 Beauty: Jan Masters 120 Consumer: Donal MacIntyre 122 Money: Jasmine Birtles 126 Food: Marco Pierre White 128 Drink: Nigel Barden 130 Gardening: Bob Flowerdew 132 Wildlife: Martin Hughes-Games 134 Digital: Martha Lane Fox 136 Motoring: Conor McNicholas 138 Travel: Kate Pettifer 141 The Reader's Digest— our recommended reads of the month 151 Books That Changed My Life: Charlie Higson 154 Beat the Puzzleman!

156 Laugh! With Alun Cochrane 160 Beat the Cartoonist On our cover: Rupert Penry-Jones photographed by Chris Floyd 2

love about Reader's Digest

CONSUMER MEDIA EDITOR OF THE YEAR 2011 WINNER OF THE MARK BOXER AWARD 2011

Want an easy way to get to our website? Grab your smartphone and go to the App Store or Android Market, then download the free Digital Space app. Hold your phone about four inches away from the picture of Gill above, allowing the camera to focus. You'll then he magically transported our site.

Reader's Digest the World's Biggest Magazine published in 50 editions in 21 languages

is that it's so inclusive— you can read it, your other half can read it, your parent; can read it, and so can you' kids. That's quite a rarity in the magazine world!

Well now we've becorN even more inclusivebecause.we're letting you help us set the editorial agenda. Although we've always encouraged readers to write in or email ideas to us, now you can send in suggestions on Twitter, too. This month, for example, we've handed our regular "If I Ruled the World" feature over to yoi.

And one reader suggested an idea...and ended up being a star of one of our stories—see p62! So join in the fun and follow us @rdigest, and send your ideas with the tag #RDTwissue in the message. Happy Tweeting!

Gill Hudson theeditor@readersdigest.co.uk Ilalfacebook.com/readersdigestuK twittencom/rdigest readersdigest.co.uk/blog1/ rdmagazine

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Pleased to tweet you, dear readers... rdigest From the Reader's Diciest team all-our-readers Welcome to the Twissue! That cute bird hovering over some of this month's pages indicates that an article or column has been inspired by an idea on Twitter. In some cases, a feature started out as a simple tweet; in others, we asked the Twitter community specific questions. Look out for the blue bars along the bottom of our regular columns, too, where our writers tell you the most interesting names to "follow".

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@READERSDIGEST.CO.UK Online this month...

ROUTE MASTER With the days getting longer, now's the time to crawl out of hibernation and stride back out into Britain's epic countryside.

Covering more than 1,000 miles of routes, The Most Amazing Places To Walk In Britain —which arrives in our online shop this month—is a great, comprehensive guide to the best of Britain's countryside. Whether it's a circular walk round Holy Island, a yomp in the Cairngorms, or a potter past a priory in Somerset, there's something for everyone.

The clear maps and instructions help you judge the length of the walk, point out interesting features along the way, let you preplan the parking and—most importantly— organise where to enjoy the end-of-day refreshments.

AMAZING WALKS

DON'T FORGET that our Amazing Walks book comes in the form of an Amazing Walks App, too. Visit the iTunes music store to download it.

WE'RE ALSO...

ON FACEBOOK.COM/READERSDIGESTUK II ON TWITTER.COM/RDIGESTO

Visit our online shop, where we now have over 1,000 items available (plus p&p is free)

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6

READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2012

THE READER'S DIGEST ASSOCIATION INC President and Chief Executive Officer ROBERT E GUTH President, International DAWN M ZIER International Editor-at-Large PEGGY NORTHROP

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OVER TO YOU...

EMAILS, LETTERS, TWEETS AND FACEBOOK £30 FOR EACH PUBLISHED LETTER, £15 FOR SHORTER EXTRACTS, £50 FOR THE LETTER OF THE MONTH! SEE PAGE 4 FOR MORE DETAILS

THEAMERICK

GOING IT ALONE Harry Mount uses the word "inextricably" in Instant Expert to describe Britain's economic relationship with the EU. But what's stopping Britain entering into a trade agreement outside the EU, just as Norway, Switzerland and many other countries have done? It would take a couple of years to resolve, but—as we have a significant trade deficit in the EU's favour—it's unlikely that Britain would be isolated.

Thinking differuntl■ !

LETTER OF THE MONTH

Gaston Dezart, Devon

David Thomas's Maverick feature on the Olympics misunderstands some of the sports he wants to update or cancel, but it misunderstands dressage most of all. It's easy for those unfamiliar with equestrian sport to overlook this particular discipline —I also considered dressage to be "boring" until recently, even though I've ridden horses since the age of eight. It was only when I had my own dressage test that I realised it's the most important thing a rider can master.

Anyone who watches showjumping or crosscountry riding knows how exciting they are, but how often are they flawless? Even if a horse and rider complete a clear round, it may come at the cost of style. In dressage, the horse and rider must work together—they can't rush through to get a good time.

Dressage is about the mastery of movement. David Thomas may not think that sports are art forms, but most sportsmen and women would disagree.

The real effect of the euro was to tie all the participating economies to the Deutsche Mark. The only long-term solutions are for countries such as Greece and Italy to become like Germany, for Germany to subsidise permanently all the weaker members, or for the euro to collapse. There's little doubt that the last will occur.

Amanda Aiken, Edinburgh

Colin Buller, Kent

SWEET MEMORIES James Brown's defence of small shopkeepers in "Reasons to Be Cheerful" brought back memories of the old-world sweet shop from my childhood in Scotland. The couple who

APRIL 2012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK

9

"COME AGAIN?" • "...As a person who regularly wrestles with sleep, I've battled to get sheep to jump over fences, but they stubbornly refuse.

But I've substituted sheep with deer, and they obediently and effortlessly leap over..."

owned it made their own hoarhound (a hard brown rock), puff candy, tablet and fudge, and displayed them in a tray beside the counter.

Today's supermarkets have brought back some of these treats, but half the fun was being served from the penny tray—it made us feel important and grown up, the start of a lifetime of consumer bliss!

Carol Davis, Weston -super-Mare SHOCK AND DISBELIEF I was quite saddened by the extract from Alain de Botton's "Religion for Atheists" in your Books section. Why was the tone so mocking? Granting our different viewpoints, it

seems a shame that belief in the Virgin Mary is described as "childishly irrational". I often feel bewildered these days that a polite exchange of views has been replaced with contempt.

George Jenner, Conwy, Wales INTO THE WILD

The "microadventure" undertaken by Alastair Humphreys in January's "Wish You Were Here" reminded me of all the trips I enjoyed as a Girl Guide, then later as a Ranger.

When I was 18, I walked the length of Offa's Dyke along the border between England and Wales-177 miles from Chepstow to Prestatyn. We

10 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2012

• "...Why did you ever disconnect with nature in a smelly, overheated pool indoors?..."

• "..Where I worked there was a small diesel train. One year we had a new apprentice and we taught him how to steer the train using the wheel which operated the brake.

He went on to become the factory manager..." [That was the entire letter] • "...My daughter Wendy would not be here if my mother had not left a bottle of sherry lying about at Xmas 1953..."

ILLU STRATE DBYBRETTRYDER/ HEART

"As a society, we've failed them.

We've created a feral upper class"

• "...'Listen' is an anagram of `silent'..." [That was the whole email]

spent two weeks hiking, and pitched our tents in a different place every night. I hope my two daughters can experience similar adventures one day.

Susannah Harrison, Brighton

He'd certainly fit right in on that score!

Esther Newton, Berkshire

GETTING THE BEST "Work Better, Work Happy" made me think a lot about my own business. I have a small firm with only five employees, and I now realise that I could benefit from seeking their input rather than always taking everything on my shoulders.

Robert Webber, Cheshire

CHINA IN YOUR HAND What an insight "Amazing Things You (Probably) Don't Know About China" proved to be. Typically, my husband was most interested to read their rules on etiquette, and how slurping and belching is thought to be respectful.

CAR CAMOUFLAGE The Toyota Fun-Vii mentioned in your Motoring column, which can change colour with a touch of your phone, sounds like a criminal's dream. Imagine a witness describing a getaway car: "It was green, officer. No, red. No, blue. Or was it silver?..."

Anthony Naylor, East Sussex

CE=311111111111111 11

Katherine Birkett o rdigest Thanks for choosing Martin Hughes-Games for your Wildlife column; that sunny smile of his at the top of the page never fails to brighten my day!

The only problem is that the pic is too small for me to appreciate fully—do you have a larger copy?

YOU'RE STILL TALKING ABOUT...

"Untying the Knot", Tim Bouquet's article on forced marriages from November.

• The work carried out by the Forced Marriages Unit is fantastic. There are many victims crying out for the law to be changed to protect them from leading very unhappy lives.

Daisy David, New Barnet, Hertfordshire • Being trapped in a forced marriage must be a horrific experience. But it must be equally traumatic to cut all ties with friends and family, and adopt a new identity.

Mayumi Sato, Cardiff • It should be said that formal arranged marriages are very different to those pointed out in this article—it does the people who have arranged marriages a disservice.

Francis Glasser, Bury, Manchester 11

YOUR FAVOURITE MAGAZINE IS NO AVAIL ON THE NEM/SST; THE APPLE NEWSSTAND, THAT IS! All you need is iOS 5 on your iPhone or iPad and away you go!

You can buy either single issues of the magazine for £1.49 or—for just £11.99—you'll get a whole year's worth. What are you waiting for?

Digest

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YOUR SHORT, SHARP GUIDE TO APRIL

Avengers Assemble. The film

Author and BBC2 Review Show critic Natalie Haynes on the new releases

that all comic-book nerds have been waiting for. Iron Man, Captain America, Thor and various other superheroes get together to see off the evil Loki and his hordes. Or, to put it another way, our heroes are all that stand between the earth and oblivion. And since one of the team is The Hulk, it's a good day for the human race.

Written and directed by the peerless Joss Whedon (creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer), this is the best action movie

you'll see all year. The starpower alone—Robert Downey Jr, Samuel L Jackson, Gwyneth Paltrow, Scarlett Johanssonshould have you reaching for your sunglasses, and its whipsmart dialogue helps raise it high above popcorn fodder.

The Cabin in the Woods.

Friday the 13ths don't come around often, so when they do, I think you're obliged to have the bejeezus scared out of x-

AR you. Luckily, The Cabin in the Woods —co-written and directed by Drew Goddard (who also wrote the excellent monsterstake-Manhattan movie Cloverfield) —will see you right for the big day this month.

Not only will I ruin it if I give away the ending, I'll ruin it if I give away the middle, too. So let's just say that it starts with a bunch of college kids who fancy a weekend away, then all hell breaks loose. It's much better than any horror film I've seen in ages, because it understands genre conventions and cheerily subverts them. It's also really frightening, so don't go alone.

The Iron Lady.

Streep's recreation of Thatcher is eerily impressive.

Another Earth.

A mirror earth appears in the sky.

Intelligent sci-fi.

14

Gadgets an

Touch & Listen enhanced eBooks, each. "Teach

Yourself" books have been urging us lazy English-speakers to ask "Ou est le camping?" since 1938. The technology has gradually Technology evolved from the expert and , Answer printed word to Me This! cassettes and podcaster CD-ROMs—and Oily Mann reveals now it arrives on the latest must-haves the smartphone.

Choose from 60 language courses, each with embedded audio featuring native speakers, a pop-up dictionary, and live cross-referencing with Google and Wikipedia. C'est magnifique!

40

AND CHECK OUT...

Pizza "

£1.9 Deliriously fun 2D platform game—control a giant pizza and crush the corpses. Weird.

Her Cool cylindrical plant-pots that prolong the life of fresh herbs. The fridge on the Starship Enterprise probably has several of these.

READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2012

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Before you splash the cash on a Smart TV, consider this cheaper way of watching online content on your existing telly: a wireless hub from CablesToGo. If your TV has a PC port, this simply plugs in, and within minutes you can be streaming movies or games from any laptop in the room through the USB transmitter.

You can thank me via cheque or PayPal.

I 41

BBC 6 Music's Stuart Maconie's pick of the recent releases

Plumb by Field Music. rate Bush meets Vampire Weekend.

Wearsiders the Brewis brothers have been making precise and intelligent pop for several years now, but their cachet grows with each release. Plumb may be the record that sees them put their head above the commercial parapet. Complex but never ponderous, their tunes manage the neat trick of being rewardingly dense but often rather funky.

The Complete Studio Album

by Madonna. mommy of them all. Her rotten films, her callisthenics, her brittleness, her various

husbands—don't let the baggage that's 4 attached itself (with her help, of course) to Madonna Louise Ciccone blind you to the fact that she's a trailblazer, the pre-eminent female pop icon of her generation, and the creator of some wonderful, wonderful records. True, The Immaculate Collection (an update is overdue) is Madonna in one handy package, but this collection of all her albums tells the whole story. And, in a way, the story of modern pop.

Home Again by Michael Kiwanuka. Think post - Britpob Bill Withers. Feted widely and the recipient of the increasingly prestigious BBC Introducing award, Kiwanuka is a name to watch—and learn how to spell.

The 24-yearold singer and guitarist trades in a kind of classic, acoustic soul. And if the material can sometimes drift toward the bland, what remains consistently engaging is Kiwanuka's voice—mellow and a little world weary, speaking of life experiences beyond his tender years.

APRIL 2012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK

15

READER A AR I

.0. As.

<71g? ..--

*NOP Pat O'Brien, 48, Finance Manager

Life's Too Short, BBC1.

County Championship season In recent years, starts,

this competition's schedule has been so indecipherable it seems like it's been formulated by a dyspraxic aubergine (for a start, it stopped for several weeks in the middle for a T20 competition) but it's still led to some thrilling last-day finishes.

Lancashire fans didn't so much bite their nails as chew off their arms as their team finally broke its 77-year championship drought with minutes to spare last year.

Warwickshire, who were pipped like a steamrollered cantaloupe, should challenge this year— though Durham are favourites.

Marathon de Sables,

The 27th staging of the world's most idiotic race will

ESPNcricinfo cricket blogger, broadcaster and stand-up Andy Zaltzman previews the best of the month's action

see hundreds of masochistic amateur runners pounding through the Sahara Desert— that's the real Sahara Desert, not a pretend version—for a week, running the equivalent of six marathons for a mixture of (a) fun, (b) charity, (c) an unfathomable inability not to run through the desert for a week, and (d) camel solidarity.

AND DON'T MISS...

Major League baseball season starts April 4. The Boat Race April 7. The Grand National

April 12-14.

April 8 Easter. April 9 World Coal Carrying

ALSO Championship, Gawthorpe, Yorkshire.

ON OUR April 22 London Marathon. April 26-29 A AR The Sundance Festival, The 02, London.

16

READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2 012

Really well-written, great observational comedy.

LISTENING'

Live and Dangerous, Thin Lizzy. Coming from Dublin, I'm a big fan of these guys.

I saw them perform recently and they still rock after all these years.

ONLINE

guitartabs.cc One of the best websites for the chords and notes of pretty much any popular song.

READING:

Hope and Glory: the Days That Made Britain by Stuart Maconie. Looks back on key events 113 from the last 100 years or so.

Funny, and quite sad in places. •

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YOU COULDN'T MAKE IT UP...

9 My daughter, who balances a responsible career with a husband and two young children, uses an iPad for work that her son—a Smurfs fan —likes to "borrow" when she's at home.

This backfired when my daughter gave a work presentation to her team using the iPad. Halfway through, a message popped up on the screen: "A Smurf has returned to your village." ,;, West Midlands 91 I met my girlfriend for the first time when we both went swimming at the local baths. We arranged to hook up in the cafe afterwards for a drink, but it was very busy.

I finally managed to pick her out in the crowd, and she couldn't stop smiling when I blurted out, "I'm sorry—I didn't recognise you with your clothes on."

Yi‘

r

II I recently got an excited phone call from my mum, who informed me that my brother had got a 18

EVIDENCE FOUND THAT THE BRITISH REACHED THE MOON FIRST

9 I WAS PROSECUTING COUNSEL IN A CASE INVOLVING a man charged with driving while disqualified. The defence council was appearing in his first Crown Court case, and frankly it showed—he had learned all the theatrical mannerisms from TV and the movies, but it wasn't impressing the jury.

He got increasingly irritated with the police witnesses when they refused to buy his version of what had actually happened. Finally, he threw his pen down on the table in frustration and demanded that the witness in the stand agree with him.

"People do make mistakes, don't they, Constable Lock?" he asked.

"Yes, sir," came the reply. "I'm Constable Webster."

He lost the case. roger Gray, St Albans, Hertfordshire

READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2 012

new job. Apparently he'd been "spear hunted".

Emma Teasdale. North Yorkshire Walking into a clothes shop, I saw a display of male dummies leaning over the escalator.

"Men's suits," I mumbled, grabbing the back of a jacket and screwing it up to see if it creased.

"What are you doing?" shouted the wearer of the jacket, a startled shop assistant.

I My wife has been working as a temp in an office since the previous admin worker retired.

When she went to file some invoices, she was confused to find the "M" section of the filing cabinet almost full, while the other sections were practically empty. After checking, she realised that the last person had filed all the invoices under "Mr" or "Mrs".

Ray Heywood, Nottinghamshire 1 WHEN MY SISTER WAS manager of a hotel, she got many strange requests from her guests. But one from an American visitor had her stumped—he asked for a picture of Jesus to be sent

erft.ss--Lo "Botox so soon, Master?"

WIN £70 FOR YOUR TRUE, FUNNY STORIES. EMAIL excerpts@ readers digest.co.uk OR GO TO facebook. com/readers digestuk

1 A friend of mine works in a care home, and last Christmas an elderly gentleman presented her with a large bag of brazil nuts.

Upon thanking him, he replied, "That's OK, I've already sucked all the chocolate off."

My grandchildren were out for a drive with their parents.

"Look," said six-year-old Megan, "there's a McDonald's."

"That's not McDonald's," replied her three-year-old sister.

"Old McDonald had a farm!" miil Sweet, Berkshire

up to his room. And when she asked what kind, he said he wanted a picture of "orange Jesus".

After much hunting around the shops, a picture of the Saviour was finally

obtained, albeit not an orange one. But when my sister explained this to the guest, he pointed out that he'd actually asked for "a pitcher of orange juice".

APRIL 2012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK

19

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WORD POWER A little bird told Harry Mount these words...

6 bellicosity n A keenness for war B desperation to escape C over-eating grysbok* n (grisebock) A small antelope B pub bore C elite spy 8 parturient adj (parrture-eeh-uhnt) A luxuriant B about to give birth C in deep disagreement 9 bilk v A to talk a lot B cheat someone of money C join the army

ILLU STRATEDBYDANIEL MITCHELL

All the words this month are suggestions via Twitter—and reveal a marked fondness for curious and fiendishly obscure words—if anything, they're even more tricky than the average crop. How many of these brain-teasing tweets can you identify?

Answer A, B or C. syzygy n (sizz-ih-gee) A rare happy moment B line of three celestial bodies C electric surge 2 rodomontade n (rod-er-mont-aid) A boasting B unbelievable denial C small horse 3 quincunx n (kwinkunks) A impossible

5 flense v (flens) A to comb hair B flex muscles C remove outer blubber from a whale

10 postprandial adj (post-prand-eeh-al) A after a meal B harmoniously sung C roughly carved 11 opprobrium n A metal edge B public disgrace C political approval 12 coquettish adj A hungry for seafood B hungover C flirtatious

A word is born: Grexit

13 bumptious adj A athletic B overbearing C quietly charming

describes Greece's exit from the euro if its economy can't survive the necessary austerity measures to stay within the single currency.

RD Rating Useful? 7/10 Likeable? 6/10

14 tmesis n (tmee-sis) A insertion of a word into a word B decomposed food C heart attack 15 quidnunc n (kwid-nunk) A nosy gossip B worthless coin C scuffed shoe

riddle B winter solstice C arrangement of five objects 4 cunjevoi* n (kun-jihvoy) A Australian marine animal B gifted magician C triple yellow line

*Thanks to the Countdown team for tweeting these words

21

WORD POWER ANSWERS 9-11 getting there 12-13 impressive 14-15 word-power wizard!

1 syzygy—B line of three celestial bodies.

"Syzygy happened when the earth, sun and moon were aligned." Ancient Greek syzygia (conjunction).

2 rodomontade—A boasting. "My neighbour is a rodomontade specialist."

Rodomonte is a character in "Orlando Innamorato", a 15th-century poem.

3 quincunx—C arrangement of five objects.

"The five of spades is laid out in a quincunx pattern."

Latin (five-twelfths).

4 cunjevoi—A Australian marine animal.

"The cunjevoi is a type of sea squirt." Aboriginal.

5 flense—C to remove outer blubber from a whale. "Flensing left the whale's bones exposed." Dutch flensen.

6 bellicosity—A keenness for war. "Hitler exhibited bellicosity during the 1930s." Latin bellicosus (keen on war). grysbok—A small antelope. "The grysbok is found in southwest Africa." Afrikaans grysbok (grey buck).

8 parturient—B about to give birth. "When

WHY EPICUREAN?

This is derived from the name of the Greek philosopher Epicurus, who died in 2706c. His early followers backed his idea that the most important things in life were intellectual pleasures and emotional calm. In time, this philosophy got warped into one that placed sensory pleasure above all else. So an epicure came to mean someone with a refined, delicate taste in food and wine. The meaning has coarsened in recent decades—now an Epicurean feast is one involving vast, gluttonous quantities of food. the cow was parturient, the farmer called the vet." Latin parturire (to be in labour).

9 bilk—B to cheat someone of money. "The bookie bilked me out of my winnings."

Alteration of "baulk" (to refuse to proceed).

10 postprandial—A after a meal. "He felt in a blissful, postprandial mood." Latin post (after) and prandium (lunch).

11 opprobrium—B public disgrace. "The MP

Play WP online: go to readersdigest. co.uk/wordpower

22 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2012

suffered opprobrium after a financial scandal." Latin.

12 coquettish—C flirtatious. "Marilyn Monroe was very coquettish."

French coquet (wanton).

13 bumptious—B overbearing. "After he won the prize, he turned bumptious." From bump.

14 tmesis—A insertion of a word into a word. "Every-bloomingwhere is an example of tmesis." Ancient Greek tmesis (act of cutting).

15 quidnunc—A nosy gossip. "She was the quidnunc of the school disco." Latin (what now?). ■

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IN THE FUTURE... ...we'll be packing up our cars, says Gary Rimmer

Urban crush Bend it, The Hiriko (meaning bend it, just a "urban car") Project, little bit... based in the Basque region of Spain, is a unique car-sharing initiative, inspired by the specially designed Hiriko all-electric ...the vehicle. When this car Hiriko isn't in use, it literally Project folds up. Imagine an from Spain... artist's A-frame easel and how it closes together—the chassis pivots up at the front to allow the rear wheels to slide under, shortening its wheel base by about a third. This design from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology is only one prototype under consideration for the Hiriko Project. But the potential this folding ability has on parking space is so dramatic we should expect to see folding cars on our streets by 2020.

An earthy flavour

Lawn lights

sunlight into energy —in grass clippings.

The developers envisage simply applying this coatinc to special glass roofing tiles embedded with nanowires.

Expect many roofs to be green and green by 2030.

Lack of infrastructure often makes solar energy a cheaper alternative than oil. (It helps that sunlight is plentiful and also, of course, the original source of most global energy.)

The Chinese are making a huge strategic push in this area, with a wide variety of solar-energy projects.

One ingenious scheme is the possibility of paint made from the chlorophyll —used by plants to turn

,atedtalks ra HansRosling a newscientist a Reuters 24 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2012

Neutrinos are subatomic particles that travel effortlessly through earth. They come in what physicists call "flavours", which they switch between depending on how far, and through what, they travel.

Scientists in Peru are now researching whether neutrinos might be used to "X-ray" the earth. They hope that, just as a mass spectrophotometer can identify specific molecules and atoms, so neutrino beams could identify oil and mineral deposits, and predict seismic activity. By 2025 we may be using neutrinos for applications we don't yet know.

Every year thousands of people put their faith and trust in Cats Protection when looking for a new addition to the family.

Behind each volunteer and member of staff is a wealth of experience and expertise which means when you adopt one of our cats, you can feel safe in the knowledge that he has been given the best possible care.

We also provide four weeks' free insurance (terms and conditions apply) giving invaluable peace of mind and reassurance as you and your cat embark upon this lifelong friendship.

When he leaves Cats Protection, your cat will have been treated to a top-to-tail medical.

T: 03000 12 12 12 E: helpline@cats.org.uk W: www.cats.org.uk

All he needs now is a loving home to make his dreams come true — over to you!

Reg Charity 203644 (England and Wales) and SC037711 (Scotland)

This means he will have been: • Fully examined by a veterinary surgeon • Vaccinated at least once against flu and enteritis • Treated against fleas, roundworm and tapeworm • Neutered if old enough • Microchipped

PROTECTION

CARING FOR YOUR

HEALTH Heartening news for cardiac patients Malaysia offers advanced, affordable heart treatments DESPITE PUBLIC EDUCATION programmes in many countries to educate people on the risk factors that lead to heart disease and how to prevent it, heart attacks and ailments remain among the most prevalent health problems in the world today.

Even children are not spared. "Eight out of a thousand children worldwide are born with heart defects," observes Dr. Lim Miin Kang, a paediatric cardiologist at Gleneagles Kuala Lumpur.

Fortunately, rapid advances in medical technology are giving many heart patients a second lease of life. With the aid of health screenings, doctors are able to detect signs of heart ailments at an earlier stage and recommend suitable lifestyle changes or a course of treatment.

Datuk Dr. Zulkifli Ismail, a consultant paediatrician and paediatric cardiologist at KPJ Selangor Specialist Hospital, notes that interventional cardiology — correcting a defect at an early stage without open chest surgery — has changed the landscape of heart care in the last few

decades. "The key to interventional cardiology is early detection," he says. "Diagnostic tools, such as the echocardiogram, have become safer for routine use. Meanwhile, treatments such as angioplasties are minimally invasive and require less hospitalisation time, so patients can get back to their daily routines faster."

In children with congenital heart conditions, early detection and treatment are even more crucial. Dr. Lim notes that children with significant heart problems may have symptoms such as laboured breathing, inadequate oral intake and poor weight gain, among others.

Heart hub With highly trained practitioners, state-of-the-art medical facilities, and advanced yet affordable treatments, Malaysia's private hospitals now

draw increasing numbers of heart patients from abroad, including both children and adults.

"Our procedures are very competitively priced, considering the level of expertise we offer," observes Dr. Tan Chiang Soo, a consultant cardiologist at Penang Adventist Hospital. "For

AREAS OF TREATMENT READILY AVAILABLE IN MALAYSIA INCLUDE: ANAESTHESIOLOGY • CANCER TREATMENT & PAIN MANAGEMENT • CARDIOLOGY & CARDIOTHORACIC SURGERY • COSMETIC & RECONSTRUCTIVE SURGERY • CYTOGENETIC STUDIES • CRANIOFACIAL SURGERY • DENTISTRY/ORTHODONTICS • DERMATOLOGY • EAR, NOSE & THROAT SURGERY • ENDOCRINOLOGY • f ERTILITY TREATMENT • GASTROENTEROLOGY • GENERAL SURGERY • GENERAL SCREENING & WELLNESS CENTRE • HAEMATOLOGY • HAND & MICROSURGERY • IMAGING & INTERVENTIONAL RADIOLOGY • INTERNAL MEDICINE • NEPHROLOGY • NEUROLOGY & NEUROSURGERY • OBSTETRICS & GYNAECOLOGY • OPHTHALMOLOGY • ORTHOPAEDIC & REHABILITATION MEDICINE • PAEDIATRIC MEDICINE & SURGERY • PSYCHIATRY • RHEUMATOLOGY • STEREOTACTIC RADIOSURGERY & RADIOTHERAPY • UROLOGY

example, bypass surgery often costs RM30,000 to RM35,000 (US$10,000 to US$11,700). This is significantly less than what is charged in many other countries for the same treatment" he notes.

And we can also offer stem cell implantation during bypass surgery or angioplasty, which is still not available in many countries."

In another example of affordable care, the National Heart Institute in Kuala Lumpur offers radiofrequency ablation (RFA), a minimally invasive procedure that uses radio frequency waves to treat irregular heart rhythm. Depending on a patient's particular circumstances, this can be performed on an outpatient basis, saving the cost of a hospital room.

Malaysian medical professionals' ability to communicate well in languages such as English, Mandarin and Malay is a major plus for many

patients. Dr. Tan stresses that cardiac patients normally need considerable counselling about their post-surgical care and lifestyle habits. For example, he notes that some blood thinning medications can have negative reactions with vegetables such as broccoli or spinach that contain vitamin K.

MEDICAL FACT In 2011, some 578,000 foreign patients visited Malaysian hospitals for medical care. Most came for cardiac and orthopaedic treatments, plastic and dental surgery, fertility treatments and health screening. There are 49 private hospitals and healthcare facilities registered under the Malaysia Healthcare Travel Council (MHTC) to provide services to foreign patients.

Q H EALTHCARE uality care for your peace of mind

Before going overseas for treatment, contact your preferred hospital and provide your chosen doctor with your medical records and test results.

Advance communication will not only speed diagnosis but help with scheduling surgery.

"Much preliminary work has to be done to ensure that once you arrive, delays are minimised, especially when you need surgery urgently," notes Dr. Lim. He advises patients to reduce contact with others and avoid public places in the two weeks before treatment to lower the risk of contracting even simple infections such as a cold. If you

arrive ill, surgery will be postponed because a weakened immune system hampers recovery.

After treatment, a patient will require a recuperation period averaging two weeks in length, with up to a week in hospital and the balance in a hotel or apartment. Follow-up monitoring can normally be done by a physician in the patient's home country but many patients also choose to return to Malaysia six months to a year later for a check-up by their original specialist.

If cardiac treatment is a likely part of your future, consider seeking an opinion from Malaysia's heart specialists and a discussion of treatment options. You may learn welcome news!

For more information about Malaysia Healthcare, visit

www.mhtc.org.my

INSTANT EXPERT Professor Nic Jones, Cancer Research UK's chief scientist, on what's

lift THIS ARTICLE WAS INSPIRED BY A TWEET FROM CANCER RESEARCH UK

We understand so much more about cancer now than we did even five years ago, which means we can treat it in increasingly different ways. One of the most exciting developments is "personalised medicine", where we tailor the treatment to the particular patient and the particular tumour. It's all about developing drugs that will be targeted at the things that make an individual tumour grow—these will be different from one tumour to the next, and from one patient to the next.

During the past couple of years there's been an explosion of information about all the changes that occur in a tumour cell, as opposed to a normal cell, and through an understanding of the biology of the cancer cells, we'll find out exactly what it is that makes a tumour grow. We can then target those changes (for example, inhibiting enzymes that might be causing a tumour to develop) and hit tumours at their most vulnerable point. We'll be able to understand what's gone wrong in a particular tumour and why each tumour is different. We're not there yet, but there are developments that give us confidence that in several years this personalised approach will be successful.

28 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2012

What role does technology play?

Huge. Think about it: sequencing the human genome can now be done for £3,000 in a few days; just eight years ago it would have taken years and millions of pounds to sequence one set of chromosomes. This computer technology really helps us get valuable information

L AGU NA DESIGN/S PL COLIN CUTHBERT/ SPL

What are the latest cancer treatments?

Beating cancer new in the fight against one of the UK's biggest killers

Any other advances?

SOURCEFOR STATS: CANCERRESEARCH UK

A new development over the past couple of years is "synthetic lethality". This is where you can target pathways in a tumour cell that are normal, but that the tumour has become dependent on to survive and grow. You can use drugs to destroy the pathway without damaging the normal cells. This type of treatment is so specific it will lead to more effective and safer drugs in the future.

There are examples of these sort of drugs coming through now— „ among the best are PARP inhibitors, which 0.11 work by preventing cancer cells that have CANCER RESEARCH UK • become damaged from repairing themselves, so they'll die. The • results from recent clinical trials are incredibly encouraging, and we're finding out more about the sorts of tumours that will be susceptible to these sorts of drugs.

Another stimulating area is the "tumour microenvironment".

In the past, we've focused on the tumour itself—trying to decode which changes cause growth—but we now think the microenvironment the tumour sits within is just as important. Cancer cells are surrounded by healthy cells that allow them to develop.

"Signatures" that tell us which tumours are most likely to progress (or not), are now being identified. In the future, if we hit the microenvironment as well as the tumour, my guess is that it will be a combination that could be pretty exciting. about every tumour we see.

The key is being able to understand the data we get, and that's not easy—we still need to carry out basic research at the same time to help us turn our understanding into potential treatments.

25%

of us fear cancer more than heart attacks, Alzheimer's and terrorism

50%

of cancers could be prevented by lifestyle changes

And the future?

It's an incredibly stimulating time. The accumulated knowledge we now have of the changes that result in tumours developing is immense. The important thing is how we use that information. How do we turn what we discover in the lab into new drugs? Over the next few years, how we bring teams of multidisciplinary scientists and clinicians together to develop more new treatments is going to be very important—and challenging.

» Reader's Digest is donating the fee for this article to Cancer Research UK. III APRIL 2 012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK 29

IF I RULED THE WORLD

Fazilet Hadi RNIB—the UK's leading charity for people with sight loss—sent us a tweet to suggest we interview Fazilet Hadi, their group director for inclusivity. She began to lose her sight aged nine, and was blind by 20. Here's her perspective...

I'd stop avoidable sight loss.

Many people don't realise that having your eyes tested isn't just about needing a new pair of glasses. The test detects conditions that you may have no idea are there, like glaucoma, the silent thief of sight. Early awareness can make all the difference to treatment.

It's partly a cultural malaise—we think it won't happen to us, but about 50 per cent of people in the UK are going around seeing less than they could. In many developing countries, the situation is more complex because of lack of funds for simple things like the right glasses or cataract operations.

I'd educate children about disabilities. Helping children understand what it feels like to be disabled should be part of the curriculum. When I was a 30

READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2012

teenager I was really selfconscious and tried to hide my sight loss from people I didn't know. I just wanted to be the same as everyone else. Kids can be incredibly cruel to someone who looks or acts differently. Yet we also hear wonderful stories of how teachers and friends have helped integrate partially sighted children successfully into school life. With the right education, I'd like to create that positive attitude everywhere.

'41

A

I'd ban Aboards. If you have the confidence to wield a white stick, but then find yourself crashing into big signs on the pavement, it doesn't feel great!

I'd make more books and magazines available in alternative formats. It isn't cost effective for the publishers to produce braille and large print and only the top sellers make it into audiobooks so, at the moment, it's up to charities to help—the RNIB has run a

talking book service since 1935.

The advent of the eBook is an exciting opportunity to change things—it'd be wonderful if all of them could be just as easily listened to as read.

ILLUSTRATED BY BRETT RYDER/ HEART

I'd give every blind or partially sighted person access to a personal shopper. In our society, how you look affects your confidence and your chances of making new friends or getting a job.

I'd give more appropriate opportunities to disabled people in the workplace.

The government spends millions trying to get people into work, but they need to be a bit smarter about opening up the market to those with different needs.

One size doesn't fit all. Disabled people face various barriers to getting a job, from the practical challenges to overcoming employer attitudes. I'd ensure every business offered tailored work experience that gave disabled people the chance to get realistic, long-term jobs.

I'd ensure manufacturers of household items made their goods using more inclusive designs. This simply means

tt I don't want to live in a world where everybody assumes I can do everything on my own I can't

they'd have to think about how all sorts of things like washing machines, heating controls, TV remotes, meter boxes and so on could be designed in such a way as to make them usable by the disabled. If we've got the technology and the brains to make these things, surely it can't be that difficult to think of ways that everyone can work them.

I'd encourage people to talk to the blind and partially sighted. If you don't know what challenges and needs they have, then you can't help. Imagine you'd been independent all your life and then lost your sight— you'd be at sea in a totally different way from someone who's coped with sight loss for years. Nobody's a mind reader.

I don't want to live in a world where everyone assumes I can do everything on my own—I can't. I'd prefer to walk down the street with someone helping than struggle on my own. There are a lot of people out there like me who want that human contact and support. Reach out.

As told to Caroline Hutton » What would you do if you ruled the world? See over the page for our Twitter-curated special!

APRIL 2012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK

31

YOU RULED THE WORLD

Readers' Tweets We asked the Twitterati what they'd do if they wielded supreme power. Here are some of your responses— from world peace to obligatory hats for zoo animals (obviously). jonathansebire I'd make schooling mandatory until 18, but increase vocational classes.

Bushbaby387 All animals in zoos to wear hats!

UERDT 1SSUERr ■44 1\AP r

SeldonMoore I'd assemble the greatest PR machine mankind has ever seen to ensure that nobody knew I ruled the world!

JulieTwistO9 Make drivers take retests every ten years. Too many people, of all ages, shouldn't be behind the wheel of a car.

Big_Pez More convivial public spaces, and shorter working hours in which to enjoy them.

KevSunshine I'd like to see compulsory classes in "Understanding Politics and Making Your Voice Heard" and "Personal Finance Management".

MsMarmiteLover I'd ban call centres.

Instead, return to the idea of giving employment to locals and personal, knowledgeable service. Full employment!

Anothergreen I'd ensure the world's forests weren't stolen from indigenous people and destroyed.

Catiewilkins I'd make everyone in the top ten per cent of wealth give 20 per cent of their money to the bottom 50 per cent.

mwmcdowell Allow only two children per family.

Or, as in our house, any action deemed by another to be annoying must stop!

AnnPettifor I'd transform the banking system to serve all of society, not just the financial elite/wealthy.

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READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2 012

ShanMattShan Free WiFi everywhere. No wasps, ever. And all trousers to be worn at an appropriate height unless boxers are truly stunning. carolinedjl3 All newspapers would be required to balance bad news with good, and children's safety would come first.

KatyFBrand I'd insist by law on free education for all children, boys and girls, in every country up to the age of 18. corrielewis If you own a garage, you should have to park your bloody car in it! And, of course, I'd ban fascism.

ILLU STRATEDBYBRETTRYDER/ HEAR

PeterFlorence I'd have free dance classes for everybody. polarben I'd shrink governments, invest in education, health, science and the environment, encourage personal responsibility—and have three-day weekends!

CpSingleton42 I'd teach kids more than just Shakespeare.

There are so many wonderful writers that can inspire.

LillyLoveYou4 I'd ensure that people work only part-time.

ti If you own a garage, you should have to park your bloody car in it!

LANDSCAPEGIRL Make Heritage the new "H" word.

We must start promoting local heritage before it's lost for good.

AliShrops I'd ban the phrase "something for everyone". lauralovelace I'd hold a community sports afternoon every Wednesday for all. madasowt A woman my age shouldn't be allowed out drinking and dancing, unless she's accompanied by a sensible person! muddybootsfoods I'd introduce confidence lessons to the national curriculum from seven years onwards RalfLittle I'd remove bad TV. ArthurPottsD I'd make the world economy and politics totally focused on the planet. The planet is human-kind's future.

Ecology over economy. •

APRIL 2012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK

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REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL

17. Ageing Rocker the campsites, hotels and apartments in Benicassim and the nearby towns rediscovers the filling up, and street cafes offering pleasures of live gigs English translations for lunch.

Unlike a lot of the great British festivals—which have started to feel It's time I started thinking about as corporate as a Westfield shopping booking my plane and train ticket centre in, well, a field—there's still a to the Spanish seaside town of sense of excitement about Benicassim.

Benicassim, near Valencia. The odds are you haven't heard of it—unless It's easy to move between stages and get a good view, and they really you're still going to music festivals, that is. Benicassim is the festival on do book the best live bands around. the beach—sort of. It's actually a little Because of the lure of the beach, inland, though within walking distance the first few years I went I took my of the beach, with three big stages on son. But last year the scheduling what looks like a council park. meant he was still in school, so I saw Until you get there it's difficult to more music than ever: The Strokes, picture what the combination of music Mick Jones, Arctic Monkeys, Arcade festival and seaside town might mean.

Fire. I had a fantastic time and wrote It's much smaller than Scarborough my first live review in years. or Hastings, so when the four-day music event begins in mid-July the There was a time -1987, when town is engulfed by legions of Spanish I was the live reviews editor of and north European music fans in NME magazine—when I must have swimming costumes, straw hats and seen over 250 gigs a year. It was hangover tans. Imagine a marathon like a religion—any number could run of It's a Knockout or Total Wipeout be attended in a single night. under a grill and you're almost there.

I adored the chaos of Glastonbury In among it all, the Spanish go and the random discoveries of new about their business, happy to have bands from the sides of tiny stages. this invasion of people with tinnitus But as I've got older, I've become to support their economy, with all so far removed from contemporary

James Brown

LettersOfNote a blindfumble a Harry_Flowers aMsEllaSimone a DelaneyMan a LucyTweeti

34

READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2012

music that car journeys are usually spent listening to Classic FM— a direct throwback to my Leeds middle school in the red-brick, back-to-back, inner-city student paradise of Woodhouse.

Although stack heels, Spider-Man and Don Revie's Leeds United ruled the day, we had a music teacher called Miss Bamforth who'd play us classical music at least once a week.

I'd already had my earliest delicious taste of pop music with my mum's Small Faces and Beatles 45s, my dad's Bob Dylan singalongs and the glam rock on Top of the Pops. But Miss Bamforth, who suffered from MS, would sit and explain the stories behind the symphonies. She probably wasn't very impressed with the fighting that broke out when Mario Fellicelli announced the Village People were gay, but she had a love of the music and a way of making us actually listen to the individual instruments that has stayed with me.

Curiously, it's in electronic music like Kraftwerk's that I find most comparisons to the music she loved: the stories they tell through sound alone, the layering of the instruments and the journey their songs take us on.

Now, it's bands like these that are luring me off the sofa and back into dark halls. The Specials, New Order and the Rolling Stones, too—often with stunning light and film shows to back up songs that have now lasted decades.

I still bump Into old friends

from the music industry who now manage huge bands or run record companies and they ask me if I've heard the latest album

by The Drawers or Quarter Wildfowl. I a ProfanitySwan a Mr_Taxi_Man a RussLitten a meetmyboyfriend

ILLUSTRATED BY JONATHAN WILLIAMS

APRIL 2012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK

35

44 If music has been a big part of your younger life, why should you have to give up on it just because you've got that bit older? confess not to have, and I guess I'm missing something. But I've noticed a lot of the bands I wrote about 25 years ago are reforming and coming back for another crack at it. And why not? If music has been a big part of your younger life, why should you have to give up on it just because you've got that bit older?

Last week I went to a school hall in Rye to see A Band Named Sue turn out some excellent Johnny Cash and Screamin' Jay Hawkins numbers—

and my favourite local band when I was a kid, The 3 Johns, are touring next month. So I have every intention of asking them if I can jump in their van between Preston, Bradford and London, like I used to do. The big challenge will be how self-conscious I'll feel if I start dancing like a dying fly, just as I did 28 years ago. ■ James, founder of Loaded magazine, now edits Sabotage Times—an online magazine with the motto: "We can't concentrate, why should you?"

BUDDING AUTHORS, TAKE A BOW! This heartbreaking tale of love and loss was one of thousands submitted for last year's 100-word-story contest that deserve a share of the limelight. See next month's issue for the winners of this year's competition.

Dispatches

Dear Sarah, It's frickin' hot out here! If there was a beach and some sea it would make a good holliday (sic)! Morale's good—we've got loads of food and entertainment. How's your mum? I've been practising guitar—we're gonna start a band when we get back. Can you think of any names? Can't wait to see you. I love you. John x P.S. Will you marry me?

March 2011: "In other news, a British soldier has been killed on patrol in Helmand Province. His next-of-kin have been informed. There are no other details as yet."

Submitted by Neil Wolfson, Harrow, London Neil says: "The word limit got me thinking about a short, personal message—a postcard or email. And the idea for the author of the message came from having watched documentaries following army tours out in Afghanistan. But the actual story is only revealed when the context of the message is (ambiguously) implied at the end."

Neil will receive a cheque for £70

36 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2012

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WHERE NATURE MEETS SCIENCE

Some actors would happily accept sex-symbol status. But Rupert Penry-Jones has other ideas. Sainthood, perhan'

NOT-SO-NAKE AMBITION When they first receive a script, actors often scan its pages to count how many lines they've got—or, if it's a TV series, to see if their character gets killed off. Rupert Penry-Jones is no different, but he's got an extra reason for having a thumb through—he wants to find out if he has any naked scenes. And he utters an almost audible sigh of relief when he discovers he doesn't.

"I'm not about to turn down roles because they involve nudity," he says. "But, given the choice, I'd rather keep my clothes on. You want to be doing something because you're a good actor, rather than because you look a certain way. You only get such parts for a while anyway, and I'll get less and less as I get older and my belly gets bigger."

The vulnerability of the 41-year-old sex symbol— who has disrobed in everything from 2001 film Charlotte Gray, where he played Cate Blanchett's lover, to BBC1 spy drama Spooks, where his role ►

BY TIM OGLETHORPE PHOTOGRAPH BY CHRIS FLOYD 38

as Adam Carter made him a household name—is surprising. After all, his career as a dashing TV lead continues to go from strength to strength. He has a key role, as DI Joseph Chandler, in ITV1's ongoing detective series Whitechapel and, this month, he stars in a second run of BBC1 legal drama Silk. But the fear of unemployment weighs heavily on his mind.

"All actors want to achieve longevity; to discover some means by which they can go on and on getting work. If I knew what that was, I could relax a bit, but I don't. When I don't know what my next job is going to be, the worry has kept me awake at night. You think your time might be up. My mum (To the Manor Born actress Angela Thorne) was recently talking about all these big names from her era and I'd never even heard of them. They were massive stars who just disappeared. I don't want that happening to me.

"That's why playing Clive Reader in Silk is perfect." The barrister is a brilliant but arrogant and ruthless man, who's not above shafting his legal rivals to get ahead.

"It's very much about what the character does, rather than how he looks."

Rupert may be nervous about what

later life holds, but, when I meet him for our interview at a London TV studio, I'm struck by the fact that this middle-aged man is still a long way from losing his looks. A challenging fitness regime in his 40 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2012

home gym has kept the six-foot-one-inch, former public schoolboy looking toned and fit, and he is resplendent in an open necked shirt and jeans. He certainly has the lifestyle to match his stylish image, with a beautiful and talented wife—Ballykissangel actress Dervla Kirwan—two children (Florence, seven, and Peter, five), a stunning home in the Meon Valley, Hampshire—complete with a swimming pool with its own wave machine—and a Mercedes coupe sitting in the drive. But, again, he's reluctant to rest on his glam orous laurels.

"Sex symbol wasn't a label that ever attached itself to me until I did Spooks, so I think it's more about Adam Carter than me.

He was this brave, ultimate hero, prepared to

"SEX SYMBOL WASN'T A LABEL THAT EVER ATTACHED ITSELF TO ME UNTIL I DID SPOOKS, SO I THINK IT'S MORE ABOUT ADAM CARTER THAN ME" put his life on the line for Queen and country. No wonder people thought he was wonderful.

"Even if it was, in any sense, about me, I've got a wife who wouldn't let me get away with an 'Oooh, I'm a heart-throb' attitude. When I've made a list of fanciable or stylish men, she's said 'they should see you first thing in the morning'."

Rupert's also prepared to admit to letting himself down in the style stakes in other respects.

"I don't think I am alone in this, but I do like things to be scrupulously neat and tidy, sometimes to the point of Smooth operator: alongside co-star Maxine Peake in BBC legal drama Silk.

Inset: Penry-Jones (centre) in

Whitechapel

obsession, so I suppose that might lose me a few cool points. My wife even thinks I show tendencies towards OCD, though I'd deny this.

"But I do have a bit of an addiction to buying music. It used to be CDs—I remember my accountant going pale when he saw how much I'd spent on them during one tax year—and, these days, it's downloads. It's all types of music—I have very eclectic and wide-ranging tastes."

Rupert wasn't particularly cool as a

youngster, at Dulwich College, south London, either. He seriously underachieved academically, even falling asleep during his economics A-level paper.

"Although, in fairness to me, I had already completed the multiple-choice questions," he says.

Initially, he thought about joining the police or the army. "There was, however, one fundamental flaw with this plan," he says. "I don't really 'do' authority. I hate people ordering me about and I wouldn't have taken kindly to taking instruction.

My father [Colditz star Peter Penry-Jones] was the same, so I followed him into his profession, as has my brother Laurence [the 35-year-old has appeared in BBC dramas Waking the Dead and Doctors].

Maybe there's a gene in there somewhere that makes us rebel...."

Oddly, though—after starting his career in theatre in 1994, and enjoying a stint at the Royal Shakespeare APRIL 2012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK

41

4 Company at the turn of the century— most of Rupert's major roles have been lawyers, policemen and other figures of Do you see Rupert as a vigilante in authority—albeit often with a slightly The Saint remake, a playboy in The unconventional approach to their jobs.

Persuaders, or His reasons for this are entirely pragDaniel Craig's matic, however. "It's just to do with the successor as type of programmes that are popular on Bond? Tweet TV. There are so many shows that relate your vote to to the law in some way that, if you work @rdigest with in TV regularly, it's pretty much inevitathe hashtag ble that you'll be cast in some of them. #RPJNextRole l it Oddly enough, I have a very good actor friend who says he won't play any more TV doctors, detectives or lawyers, but I'm not sure how long he can keep that THE SAINT? promise going. Such roles are an actor's bread and butter and I wouldn't have been nearly so busy without them."

THE NAME'S JONES, PENRY-JONES...

Rupert harbours ambitions to play the ultimate hero of the British establishment:

THE PERSUADERS?

JAMES BOND? 42 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2012

James Bond. "I'm not chasing it down," he cautions. "But, if they asked me, I'd be delighted. I'm hardly going to say no to that one, am I?!"

Indeed, without him giving too much away about what certain TV and film executives have planned, he may already be angling for the sort of parts that could steer him closer to the big role. "I keep my eye on the projects that are being talked about and the idea of remaking The Persuaders (1970s UK TV action drama, starring Roger Moore and Tony Curtis) would interest me enormously.

I haven't been interviewed or anything, but I'd love to play the Roger Moore role in that and a new TV version of The Saint, which is also being talked about."

But, so far, though he had supporting roles in the recently released film Red

Squire Trelawney] Tails, about black was the first drama Second World War I've been in that was pilots, and in the 2005 really suitable for my mystery film Match kids to watch all the Point, movie stardom way through. But the remains elusive. assumption that I took "It just hasn't hapthe part for them is wide pened," he shrugs. "I've of the mark. A great script either had small parts in great and cast, and the fact that it movies or big parts in films Family man: with was being filmed in Puerto that haven't been particularly wife and "soulmate" Dervla Kirwan good or very well received.

Rico were more important!

"The truth is that, at the moment, I'm "Besides, Florence and Peter are not so concerned about going to Holly- not always—how can I put this?—as wood as I once was. I want to see my two sympathetic to their poor old dad when children grow up, and spend as much they see him on the TV screen as time with Deryla as possible. She 'gets' they might be. me; she's my soulmate. I don't like being "They had Adam Carter's demise in apart from her for very long at all."

Spooks [he was blown up by an al-Qaeda Not that his family is always his first bomb] on playback and would shout: consideration when taking a role.

Again! Again! Again!' whenever it was "Treasure Island [the recent Sky dram- clear he'd gone to meet his maker. atisation in which he played the evil "Nice, children, aren't they?!" ■

IT'S RAINING, IT'S POURING...AND IT'S VERY STRANGE

We expect the odd spring shower in April, although it could well be drier this year. But what if it wasn't raindrops that kept falling on your head?

There are many stories of weird downpours all over Britain, including well-documented lashings of herrings, sprats and frogs.

In 1982, rumours spread in Manchester of a spontaneous shower of money, fuelled by a sweet-shop owner who was swamped all morning by children clutching dented coins. And, last December, motorists in Coventry were alarmed by apples bouncing off their bonnets. (Before you ask, there were no apple trees nearby.

And they wouldn't be bearing fruit in December anyway. So there.)

Some meteorologists blame mini-tornados sucking up animals and objects—but then why would a tornado pick up only one type of fish? We prefer the rival theory from ufologist John Philip Bessor: UFOs are hungry animals who live in the atmosphere, and occasionally reach out to grab something tasty—then just discard the leftovers.

APRIL 2012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK

43

AND THEN..

One hundred years since the death of Captain Scott, we talk to the daughter of one of his heroic South Pole team. Meanwhile, two young Brits tells us what it's like to be at the bottom of the world today

TOM CREAN Mary O'Brien reveals the Polar exploits of her legendary father Tom Crean The names Robert Falcon Scott and Ernest Shackleton bring to mind thrilling adventure and tragic sacrifice. But at the centre of their stories is someone many have never heard of.

Petty Officer Tom Crean was part of Scott's Terra Nova Expedition to

the South Pole—its members were taken mainly from the Royal Navy—and one of the last three men Captain Scott sent back (to conserve rations) before he and four others made the final, fatal 170-mile push to their goal.

On the 700-mile trek home, Crean had to pull a scurvy-stricken colleague much of the way on a sled and, when the sick man could go no further, Crean walked the last 35 miles back to base camp alone to get help. His bravery won him the Albert Medal. He was also a member of the search party

AMELIA HEMPLEMAN-ADAMS Schoolgirl Amelia Hempleman-Adams, 16, made world news when she became the youngest person to ski to the South Pole on Friday, December 9, 2011, at 1.30am.

These are edited extracts from Amelia's diary of the journey, starting at Union Glacier Camp in Antarctica, where the team waited to fly to The Farthest Point South-97 miles from the South Pole, where Ernest Shackleton was forced to turn back on January 9, 46

1909. The expedition was led by Amelia's renowned father, adventurer David Hempleman-Adams, who was the first Briton to reach the South Pole solo and unsupported, in 1996.

Day 1 (Nov 26). I wake with a frozen face because I kept pulling my balaclava off in the night and lost it in my sleeping bag. At breakfast I have a bacon sandwich and a hot chocolate. We wait for the briefing, and half an hour later we're told we can

READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2012

fly out at about 2pm.

The journey is five and a half hours. I think of everyone at my friend Grace's party back home as I stare out at the snow.

Before landing we circle about 12 times—it's too icy, so we keep touching down and taking off again. The wing looks like it's going to hit the ground. I feel sick.

When we do land, we unload our kit and set up our tents. Julian, one of the team, builds a toilet in the ice. I have one mug of hot chocolate and two of soup

TOMBROWNE; FR ANKHURLEY/ ROYALGEOGRAPHICAL SOCI ET Y SUSIE CUMINE

that found Scott's tent, seven months after his last diary entry and death, probably at the end of March 1912.

Crean then went on Ernest Shackleton's TransAntarctic Expedition and was one of six men who, in 1916, sailed 800 miles across the Southern Ocean in an open boat to South Georgia to get help after the team's ship became trapped in ice. He finally retired from the navy to his native Annascaul, County Kerry, in 1920, aged 42.

So how did he feel about the Antarctic, all those years ago? We asked his 93-yearold daughter Mary (pictured left).

RD: You were born after your father's South Pole expeditions,

to keep me hydrated at the 9,000-foot altitude. We're in the middle of nowhere!

Two days in and hygiene goes out the window. It's so cold I use my pee bottle in the tent. Breakfast is porridge with sultanas, which I can't finish because it tastes like sick. We start skiing at about 12. We have a "munchy" stop every 50 minutes to keep our energy levels up. I fall over because the ice is very uneven, and it's so cold my toes go numb and my thumbs feel frozen. I wear a balaclava to protect my face—but my hair sticks to

so when did you first become aware of the extent of his exploits?

"Michael Smith's biography An Unsung Hero, published in 1999, opened my eyes. It was as late as that. Father didn't tell me that much about his adventures.

They were different people, that generation. They weren't boastful."

RD: Didn't he give interviews?

"Oh no, never. There was a journalist from one of the British papers who came to see him and asked to borrow a picture from the house of him in the Antarctic. She said she'd take a copy and promised to return it, and he was foolish enough to believe her. He ►

it with ice, and the condensation freezes on my suit so I can't do up the zip.

On Day 3 (Nov 28) we walk for four hours at

minus 35 degrees C. My shoulders ache so badly I have to use lots of Deep Heat. It doesn't help that we have to carry our

Amelia with her dad David, who made the team salute Ernest Shackleton every day of the trek a

APRIL 2012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK 47

didn't give much away after that."

RD: Were you surprised when you heard what he'd done?

"I don't understand how he managed to survive at all! The most I've ever done is climb Mount Brandon [Kerry's 3,100-foot highest mountain]. The conditions in Antarctica were horrifying. They'd wake up in the morning and the clothes they were ' wearing had frozen solid—even their vests. frozen poo in "wag bags" [it's policy to leave nothing behind].

As we're walking on Day 5 the ice keeps dropping several inches beneath our feet, making a loud noise like thunder, which is scary [the team thought this was due either to crevasse fields or large pockets of air compressing underground].

At one point as the ice moves beneath us, my teammate Susie screams.

It is minus 40.

Day 7 and my neck and back really ache. Yesterday, one of our group was airlifted out because she

He used to tell me, 'You say more prayers when you're out there, because you're more dependent on the man above.' But he was as tough as old boots.

"In fact, Scott should have taken him on the final push to the pole, instead of Captain Oates [who, famously, went missing on the return leg]. My dad loved Oates! He was crazy about him.

But his leg was gone—he'd been injured in the Boer War. Scott shouldn't have taken him to Antarctica in the first place. He wasn't able for it, and he got weaker and weaker.

"My dad once said he was glad to be with Oates near the end, though.

Oates told him, 'You'll be going home, but I won't. You'll visit my mother, won't you?' Dad promised he would, and he did."

was struggling with the cold and showed signs of frostbite on her face.

I struggle to wake up on Day 9. The sky is bright blue and sunny. We walk for eight hours. Only 44 miles to go. I've got bad blisters on my thumbs and my elbows are painful.

At the end of the day I collapse in the tent.

There's a complete whiteout on Day 12, so it's hard to navigate. We walk for three hours and then the sun comes out. Dad said this was Shackleton blessing us with good weather. There's a small

48 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2012

rainbow either side of the sun, a rare sight.

Finally, Day 13 (Dec 8).

We couldn't see the South Pole station because of the cloud cover, but when it clears we spot buildings in the distance. We walk for 11 hours. My legs ache, but I just want to get to the Pole.

We finally reach the flags— I lead the last bit, which is amazing. My legs feel like jelly. Dad gives me a big hug and people congratulate me. I feel excited and exhausted.

I keep looking at the icy landscape all around me.

I never want to forget it.

Tom Crean

Captain Oates

Captain Scott

DANIEL PRICE Daniel Price, 24, from Cardigan, west Wales, is an environmental sciences PhD student at the University of Canterbury, New Zealand. He spent last November at Scott Base research station on Ross Island, a four-hour flight from the South Pole, where he was helping to develop ways of mapping sea-ice thickness.

"It seems dramatic to say, but Antarctica is sobering to the soul. The only colours are white, blue and black, and you have pretty

much the same vast view in every direction.

"But Scott Base is like a spaceship with everything you could need on board.

There's a lounge, a library, a gym, a sauna and it can house up to 85 people.

There are procedures to regulate everything you do, too, according to the weather. When visibility, the temperature or wind speed reach certain levels, for instance, no one's allowed outside.

"During the winter, though, a team of eight

people stay at the base for five months in nearpermanent darkness and the pilot who picks them up at the end of the season told me they're like another species when they get out—absolutely overwhelmed by colours when they get back to civilisation.

"We all had to do Antarctic field training—

APRIL 2012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK 49

RD: Was your dad close to Scott?

"Scott belonged to the gentry. He could be aloof and stubborn; he always did what he wanted to do. Shackleton was a different man entirely. He'd sit with the lads and discuss everything with them. He was an Irishman, too, of course—from Kildare. But I never heard my dad say a word against Scott.

He had the height of respect for him.

Mind you, I never heard him say anything bad about anyone."

RD: What scene confronted your father when he returned with the rescue party?

"The three remaining men, including

Scott, were dead inside their tent. Dad cried when he found the captain, God help him. He was very upset—they were a long time together. Scott had put the other two in their sleeping bags, but he was lying uncovered— he'd been the last to die. So my father kissed him and covered him up."

RD: How did Tom feel about retiring to such a peaceful life in Ireland after all that drama?

"Well, he found it strange. The life they lived in Antarctica was so extraordinary. But he settled down fine. He was very simple and modest. He'd be out on the bridge every day, chatting away

r

just in case we ever got

stranded by the weather— and I spent a night in a Scott polar tent, which is essentially a big, yellow teepee. The ice was five feet thick with about 1,500 feet of ocean beneath it.

We couldn't see the water, because of the snow, but we went to sleep to the calls and whooshes of seals

swimming beneath us.

"As it happens, we were lucky with the weather, but there was one point when I was drilling through the ice to measure its depth and my hands got wet.

I couldn't feel them for about five minutes and it actually made me feel quite sick. I had to lie down and resort to the old-fashioned

50 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2012

trick of sticking my hands

in my armpits. The wind was phenomenal.

I travelled on a sledge, attached to the back of a skidoo, for up to 60 miles a day to the test sites, and I had to cling on to avoid being blown off.

"We visited Scott's but at Cape Evans, 15 miles from Scott Base. It was

and smoking his pipe. He knew every schoolchild by their first name, and he'd give them sweets in the evenings.

"But part of the reason why he kept a low profile was that the Irish War of Independence had started.

He was afraid, you see, because he'd served in the British navy. His brother, who was in the Royal Irish Constabulary, was killed in that conflict. A terrible time.

"On one occasion, the Black and Tans [the British paramilitary unit] broke into our house, looking for republican rebels. They found the Inverness coat my dad had worn in the Antarctic, and a large Union Jack.

perfectly preserved,

because the atmosphere is so dry the wood doesn't rot. All the food cans were still there on the shelves— there was Heinz ketchup and Lyle's golden syrup from 1906—and there were even some old newspapers.

Peering through the gloom, I could feel the isolation those explorers must have

They got such a shock. They just threw them on the floor and stormed off."

RD: Did he suffer any ill effects from his time in Antarctica?

"Oh, his ears were as hard as boards. There was no life in them at all. His sight wasn't too good either; it was affected by snowblindness. And he had to get boots specially made for his feet—the soles were very tender.

"He died in 1938 from a burst appendix. He'd be fine today, of course. That's a terrible irony after all he'd survived."

Interview by Tom Browne

felt alone in this extreme place, without all the modern aids like high-tech clothing, phones and numerous flights in and out we have now. It was humbling.

"One day, I ran up Observation Hill, which Scott's men climbed to see if they could spot him returning from the Pole. I sat down in awe at the view and really got a sense of escape and wished that I could charge off to the South Pole,1,000 miles away, there and then.

It was an inadequate feeling, though, because a freedom to roam in the

Antarctic doesn't exist. It's a natural prison in which a storm or crevasse can envelop you in an instant.

"I have mixed feelings about man being in Antarctica. Just my presence spoils the natural beauty. And I fear that global warming will change it forever. But it's an environment that has inspired humans to be the best they can be in terrifying circumstances, and the efforts of the early 20thcentury British explorers should be an enormous source of pride.

"I'm going back this November—I'm very glad I don't have to say goodbye to the place just yet." ■

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s8c

Getting lost in an activity is a well-trodden niche your interest, it's never been easier to PHOTOGRAPHED BY STUART CONWAY

BY LOLA BORG

path to happiness. And however find a group to share it with... ► 53

THE BRIGHTON PUG MEETUP GROUP If you're ever wandering through Brighton on a Saturday, you might rub your eyes at the surreal vision of some 30 to 40 pop-eyed pugs answering to names such as Mr Beau Jangles, Wigglebum or Captain Pugley. Yes, there's no mistaking the Brighton Pugs monthly gettogether. And, despite the comically squishy face, there's been a boom in pug-loving of late—all down to their lovable, easy-going nature, says club founder Kazz Robinson.

But any dog at all is a passport to making new friends, and there are clubs for every size and flavour of mutt imaginable, including designer dogs (labradoodles, cockapoos or puggles—mixtures of labradors, poodles, pugs and beagles). Sex and pugs and rock 'n' roll, as they say.

Brighton Pugs meet the second Saturday of each month at Preston Park, Brighton, Sussex. Get in contact through meetup.com

"Jr

DAD'S ARMY APPRECIATION SOCIETY Virtually every TV show has an appreciation society. Doctor Who? Tick. The Sopranos?

Tick. The Killing? Sarah Lund and her jumper have a Facebook page. One of the longestrunning clubs is for fans of Dad's Army—the comedy series about the useless, blundering Home Guard unit that ended 25 years ago.

There are regular meetings in the UK and an annual get-together in Norfolk in May ("featuring members of the cast who have not yet passed away", as they charmingly put it). Amusingly, their newsletter is called

Permission to Speak, Sir. Membership is £10 per year. For more details, go to dadsarmy.co.uk

>

2

A statue in Leeds gets the "yarn bomber" treatment, and (beloN former vicar Dr Hook sports a woolly guitar

KNIT A BEAR FACE CLUB It's knitting, but not as we know it.

Describing themselves as a "radical guerrilla knitting group", Knit a Bear Face is one of thousands of groups of "yarn bombers" all over the UK. Think of it as woolly graffiti—bombers have covered everything from trees to telephone boxes in knitted items, and in the US even the Wall Street Bull got a pullover. This group meets in a pub to click needles for "public knitting projects", says research assistant Matthew Evans, one of the organisers. ► . Collectively, they decorate Leeds for the arts festival

I

"

Light Night that takes place each October.

Last year, they accessorised the city's statues—hats and scarves for the owls on the railings outside Leeds City library; a jacket for a Henry Moore nude; and even a guitar for the statue of Dr Hook, one-time vicar of Leeds. "The knitting was so good that a lot of it got stolen," says Matthew.

The group is currently knitting an entire crazy golf course—good luck with that, then—absolutely all ages, sexes and abilities are welcome.

Knit a Bear Face, Sheffield, meets at 5.30pm in the Victoria Hotel, Leeds, every other Wednesday.

Find a local knitting group through the UK Hand Knitting Association (ukhandknitting.com) APRIL 2 012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK

55

THE TEST CARD CLUB

THE PYLON APPRECIATION SOCIETY

As the blurb on the website says, it's simple: the Pylon Appreciation Society is a club for those—and there are around 600 of them—who appreciate electricity pylons. Includes pages of surprisingly haunting and arty photos of unusual structures from all over the world.

Membership is E15 for life. Details can be found at pylons.org

THE DULL MEN'S CLUB As they say, it's a place in cyberspace where dull men (and women who appreciate dull men) can share thoughts and experiences about ordinary things— corduroy trousers, shovelling snow, airport carousels.

Founded in the 1980s by ex-tax-lawyer Grover Click, they have around 5,000 members and organise an annual "Dull Man of the Year" (last year's winner moves stones for two hours each day; in third place was the man who says, "Cashier Number Three, please"). Women can join, but not as a Dull Woman. We quote: "It's our committee's view that a woman cannot be dull. This is because women are exciting." Who can disagree?

Visit dullmensclub.com for more. Membership is free ("If you're a dull man and you're enjoying this website, you're already a member")

In 1963, two 11-year-old schoolboys from Derby had to do a school projeci on TV. They wrote to all 11 TV companies of the time and only one replied. In that tiny way, an obsessio 1 with the BBC began. Keitt Hamer now has the larger t collection of BBC Test Card recordings and 3,600 video recordings (including sorr e the BBC don't possess).

He even advises the Beeb on the use of the card in period dramas.

The most popular was the iconic Test Card F, introduced in 1967. (The girl in the picture, Carole Hersee, appears in the Guinness World Records for appearing on screen longer than any other person ever.) "It's not just a pretty picture," says Keith, explaining (in mincboggling depth) how each time the Test Card changed it mirrored a new jump in technology. In Test Card every element is there for a reason—the X on the blackboard marks dead centre of the screen, anc the buttons on the clown test for shades of yellow.

See test-cards.fsnet.co.uk for more. Membership is £12.50 per year p,

rr ler Testing, testing: Keith Hamer displays samples from his unique collection.

The famous Test Card F can be seen on the bottom right

d

THE CLOUD APPRECIATION SOCIETY

LONDON DIDGERIDOO CLUB "A hobby that turned into a passion that turned into a business," says Jonny, founder of the LDC. Made from the bark of a eucalyptus tree hollowed out by termites (that's the didgeridoo, not Bear), playing one is relaxing, cathartic and even good for sleep apnoea (or, more prosaically, snoring), he says.

Just rock up on the third Thursday of each month to try it out—you have to make a noise like a horse braying for it to work.

More details can be found at aboriginalarts.co.uk Membership is free 58

READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2 012

"Life would be dull if we had cloudless monotony," says the manifesto. Pledging to fight "blue-sky thinking", the society was founded eight years ago by Gavin Pretor-Pinney, author of The Cloud Spotter's Guide, a best-seller turned down by 28 publishers. It grew, he says, "in the way things can only on the internetunited by an interest, not by geographic id location". It now has 28,000 members, ranging from a few weeks old (membersrip is a popular present for a godchild) up to 96 years. Members can learn to sort a cirrus from a nimbostratus, appreciate clouds in verse, art and photography, and talk about "all things cloudy".

So what's the lure of those white lumps? "We are all under the same sky, and clouds have a universal appeal," sa es Gavin, who's not short of poetic things to say. "They're so omnipresent we can be blind to their beauty. And, of course. everyone has a relationship with the ski.

People tend to think of cloud spotting E S a countryside activity, but in a city the sky is the last wilderness available. You can live in a tower block and have a fantastic view." People keep on asking him if he'll have a Cloud Convention. He's not keen.

"Chances are it will be a blue-sky day."

Join at cloudappreciationsociety.org to receive "cloud-related" emails.

Membership is £5 x.

No more wandering lonely: 28,000 people now share Gavin Pretor-Pinney's passion for clouds

"Everyone knows about historical clubs where people dress up and fight," says Natalie Walters, secretary of the Renaissance Historical Dance Society. "This isn't the boring bit of history. This is the fun, sociable, interesting bit."

The group was started by her grandmother in 1994 to bring history to life by music and dance—members research costumes, learn the moves, and then perform these all over the country. Everything is accurate down to the last ruff (apart from the fact they use a sewing machine). And proving there's much more to them than "Greensleeves", they cover different eras—Stuarts, Elizabethans, Medieval and also Natalie's favourite, Regency. Everyone is welcome—even those, she says, with "three left feet".

For more information, go to rhds. org.uk. Membership is £5 per year 60 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2 012

EDINBURGH FORTEAN SOCIETY American journalist Charles Fort (1874-1932) spent years in libraries in New York and London, scouring publications for instances of the occult, supernatural and paranormal. Today, the term "Fortean" covers raining frogs, UFOs, balls of lightning... you get the drift. The society was set up 12 years ago by "lifelong Fortean" Gordon Rutter (day job, biology teacher). Once a month, you can hear a talk on topics such as luck, superstition, conspiracy theories, cryptozoology (the hunt for mythical creatures such as the Loch Ness Monster) and paranormal Edinburgh.

Rutter is keen to stress that it's not just a group for believers. "It's really a group of interested people getting together."

Curious parties can attend the next event listed at edinburghforteansociety.org.uk ANDREA WELLS/GETTY IMAGES

Are you a member of a club you care passionately about?

Why not let us know? Send us an email—with a picture if possible —to theeditor readersdigest.co.uk.

BRITISH LLAMA SOCIETY Is Lynda Snell from The Archers a member?

With llamas Constanza, Wolfgang and Salieri, she should be. In fact, for plots involving her furry pets, scriptwriters are advised by the BLS. If you, like Lynda, are one of the 4,000 or so llama (or alpaca) owners in the UK, this is for you. They have regular regional meetings all over the country, "though nine times out of ten we don't talk about llamas—we all go down the pub", says coordinator Liz Butler (aka "Llama Liz", even

when she's speaking to politicians). Domesticated, gentle, good-natured and easy to keep, llamas can guard chickens or lambs from predatory foxes. And llama walking is so relaxing it's used by frazzled US executives as a destressing technique.

Visit britishllamasociety.org for details. Membership is £35 per year

There's much more in our Best of British series— including extra clubs and societies —at readersdigest. co.uk/magazine.

UK SUCROLOGISTS CLUB Whatever you're interested in collecting—old poison bottles, key rings, police memorabilia, breweriana (yes, the official term)—there's a club for you. Sucrologists, for example, ferret away sugar packets. "You collect a few," says David Phillips, editor of their magazine Sweet Thoughts, "then, before you know where you are, you're sucked into it." He now has "a small collection" of about 10,000, although some have hundreds of thousands. A popular route is to collect one packet from as many countries as possible. "But people always ask if you have any we from Afghanistan."

See uksucrologists club.org.uk for more.

Membership is £12 per year. Sucrologists meet once year to exchange, but not to buy or sell ■

rIr

1111 11 M .

NEXT MONTH: FESTIVALS

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THIS ARTICLE WAS INSPIRED

BY THE FOLLOWING TWEET

englandwalk 6curdigest I would be very happy to provide info on the walk so far and experiences of talking about mental health.

A Life Less Ordinary He's suffered from mental illness for decades, but Stuart Jessup has found an unusual, if exhausting, way to beat the blues

Walking Back to Happiness One sunny Sunday lunchtime last autumn, Stuart Jessup held a reunion

of a dozen old Cambridge University, school and family friends at a cafe on the south side of London's Tower Bridge. They posed for photos, then set off on an afternoon walk, winding their way east past Canary Wharf, before pausing in Greenwich for a coffee by the Cutty Sark. But they didn't stop there. They kept going east until the daylight began to fade. Most of the group eventually had to drop out and go home.

Their feet were sore and their legs ached, yet Stuart and his old work colleague Colin Forster, 54, pressed on. By 6pm, they'd reached the Thames Barrier, ten miles from their starting point, where Colin also said his goodbyes.

But Stuart's journey had only just begun. For October 9 last year marked the start of a gruelling 2,500-mile solo trek around the border of England.

That night, the 51-year-old bedded down in a cramped camper van he'd earlier parked in nearby Woolwich. The next day, he walked 16 miles to

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A Dartford, Kent, before returning for his camper by bus. A similar tiring daily process—walking further along his route, then bussing back to sleep in or retrieve his van—would be his life for the next eight months. But Stuart, from Maidstone, Kent, was pushed on by deeply personal and important motivations.

Since school, he had suffered from long periods of feeling very low—though for years he didn't know why. He'd tried to explain how he felt to a university doctor, but was dismissed as a timewaster. So he carried on suffering, often for months, until, aged 33, he suffered a nervous breakdown while working in a high-pressure job designing mobile phones for big-name clients. He was diagnosed with chronic depression.

Finally finding out what was wrong with him was a big relief for Stuart. With treatment, over the next few years his low periods became less severe and frequent. He also quit his stressful job to start training for what he saw as a more worthwhile role as a teacher.

Things were looking up—then his wife Margaret was diagnosed with breast cancer and died in July 2005.

"Margaret's death made me realise you can't assume anything about the future," Stuart says. "Having spent so much of my life being miserable, I became even more determined to try and live life in a way that made me happy."

With the help of counselling, Stuart continued to overcome his depression.

He completed his training, got a job teaching physics at a secondary school in Cambridge, and, in 2008, met Kate Atkin, a management coach. The pair got married the following year, but—keen to make his life as fulfilling and useful as possible—Stuart wanted to find a way to raise awareness about depression, to stop others suffering from the lack of help that had dogged his young life.

By March last year, he'd come up with Walking on the Edge, a trek

Stuart with his wife Kate and a determined-looking Poppy (above); pack up your troubles: friends promoting the mental-health charity SANE join Stuart on his hike (left) 64

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around England sticking as close to the coast or the Welsh and Scottish borders as possible. As well as hoping to raise £30,000 for mental-health charities SANE and Anxiety UK, he'd also be able to talk to local media, community-group meetings and anyone else he met about his experiences of mental illness—and hopefully reach out to anyone who needed assistance. He started saving to fund what would be a long break away from earning money, resigned from work and found sponsors. Kate agreed to help him with the organisational and PR aspects of the project. Six months later, he was off.

"You get people talking about things they haven't felt able to come out 1th before"

Though his Journey initially headed

east through Kent, after nine days he reached the sea at Whitstable, turned "right" and headed along the south coast.

As Reader's Digest went to press, he'd followed England's border 1,495 miles to Morecambe Bay in Lancashire. Six days a week (with one day's rest), his life now consists of checking maps and bus timetables, and performing the "caravan ballet" to make sure he always finishes his walk with a place to sleep.

He then spends seven hours walking about 15 miles.

Trudging on in winter, often through grim industrial ports, hasn't been easy.

Stuart was laid up with flu in Cornwall for several days before Christmas, and during February's big freeze, while tackling the north Somerset leg of his journey, he woke up half-frozen to find thick ice on the inside of his van's windows and no water coming from the taps.

He's had moments when he's wondered what on earth he's doing. "But," he argues, "winter is the worst time for depression

for most people, so what better time to highlight the issue?"

Another low point was when his springer spaniel and constant companion Poppy tore ligaments in her tail climbing into the van near Lymington, Hampshire, in mid-November, and he had to drive her back to Cambridge to recuperate. ► APRIL 2012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK 65

I He spent much of the next two weeks walking alone, missing her uplifting presence.

Kate has been able to join him

for a few days each month, and Stuart's adventure has mostly lived up to his expectations. As well as experiencing some magic moments—gulping breaths of sea air from the top of the White Cliffs of Dover, witnessing a small tornado off the coast near Hastings, and celebrating New Year's Eve with Kate at a campsite near Land's End—he's raised £6,700 so far. And, he says, "I've had dozens of conversations about mental health, and Kate and I measure our success by that." Sometimes people walk with him after following his progress through Facebook or local radio; sometimes they come up to speak to him after he's given a talk; or sometimes a chat is the result of a chance encounter.

"People will meet me on a coast path and they'll talk to Poppy because she's so friendly. Then maybe I'll tell them about what I'm doing. Often, if I share my story openly with them, they'll share theirs—you get people talking about things they haven't felt able to come out with before."

One man, a retired chemist, revealed he'd suffered a heartbreaking loss at the hands of mental illness. "We were talking about walking, then he came out with this story about having had to sell his pharmacy because he'd suffered from depression for years and couldn't cope 66

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any more. It was very sad, but I felt privileged that he chose to tell me about it. I could really sympathise and suggest ways of dealing with it."

Similarly, a successful 50-something businessman came up after the same talk, to tell him about his son's wife. "He said they'd just got married, but she'd become very anxious for no obvious reason and they didn't know what to do for her. He told me that my talk had helped him realise that she was depressed and needed help. It's conversations like this—when

Stuart hikes along Offa's Dyke on the Welsh border; (below) Poppy in a field in Fairlight, East Sussex

you feel you've made a difference—that make my efforts worthwhile."

The walk has also helped Stuart battle his own problems. He keeps a mood diary, and has found that he's remained consistently upbeat. "In the past, my illness has left me feeling overwhelmed," he says.

"You want to be left alone and have some peace. Walking on by myself has provided that, and having a target for the trek helps me overcome the 'why bother?' attitude so characteristic of depression."

He's even found himself making big positive plans for his future, considering moving into voluntary work or supply teaching. "I really enjoy being a teacher, but I don't enjoy schools," he says. "I think my days of being a permanent employee have finished."

But for now he's more concerned with keeping on top of his peculiar daily existence. "The camper van was immaculate when I started," he says.

"Now it's muddy, there's dog food on the floor and clothes strewn over the sofa. The heater's playing up, too. It's a lottery as to whether it'll start or not.

"But for me it's all interesting. And I don't think I've gone completely mad yet—though there's still time!" ■ » To sponsor Stuart's trek, visit walkingon theedge.org.uk

NATURAL WONDERS: AMPHIOXUS Of all the creatures featured in this slot, the amphioxus is probably the least photogenic. But scientists are fascinated by this obscure marine invertebrate.

Although it lacks a brain or a face (or at least ones that we'd recognise), it serves as a modern-day equivalent of the first animals to evolve a backbone, as demonstrated by the nerve cord that runs the length of its body. Studying the amphioxus can potentially teach us far more about our ancestry than long-dead fossils.

Since our evolutionary paths diverged about 500 million years ago, the amphioxus has rarely been seen (and never heard). Interestingly, though, it was recently spotted in the waters off Tankerness in Orkney, during a survey of local marine life.

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THE MAVERICK "INTERNET SHOPPING? IT WON'T CHANGE THE WORLD AFTER ALL" Sure, it seems cheap and convenient now.

But, says Richard Asher, buying online won't come close to replacing real stores I have no taste for traditional shopping. Even by male standards, I despise trawling round clothes stores or

pushing a trolley up and down the vegetable aisle at Tesco. By rights, that should make me a real onlineretail bunny.

Yet internet shopping is becoming even more vexacious than the in-store version. Every time you want to buy so much as a pencil, you need a log-in code, a password and probably your mother's maiden name. I've got at least 50 of those to remember already (passwords, not mothers) and I'm just one away from snapping. So although the popular belief is that online shopping is going to take over the world, frustrations like mine will keep "bricks-and-mortar" stores in business for some time to come.

On the face of it, the amazing deals you can find online make web shopping's continued rise seem irresistible. The much-higher overheads of local stores, shopping-centre outlets and even out-of-town supermarkets mean that they often can't compete on price, and UK online sales rose 11.3 per cent (to £28bn) in the year to January, while other shops' sales increased ►

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Thinking differently!

LUSTRATED BY PAUL BLOW

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by just 2.1 per cent. Smartphones and tablet computers are key drivers.

According to research by the British Retail Consortium (BRC) and Google, mobile retail searches now make up ten per cent of the online total, up 168 per cent since 2010.

But internet business still only represents nine per cent of UK shopping and, although this proportion is expected to climb for another four years, Professor Joshua Bamfield, director of the Centre for Retail Research in Nottinghamshire, predicts that it'll stall at about 20 per cent.

But why? After all, web shopping can be cheaper and also convenient. Last summer, Tesco introduced virtual supermarket shelves on South Korean underground walls that allow commuters with fancy phones (in South Korea, that's everybody) to scan images of products for home delivery. What a great way to do something useful while you wait for your train!

But, all too often, online shopping seems to be more about retailers making you sign up for an account so they can capture your personal data than it does about making life easier for you—and that can be very off-putting. Take the minor comedy club (in a pub!) that recently refused to let me book through

a simple phone call or in person and insisted I go online. Twenty minutes and one unwanted account later, I was sorted—but the next time I go to a gig, I'll opt for a venue that lets me buy my tickets early-Nineties style.

And it's the same problem with everything from buying books to food.

Faffing about with your computer may often, technically, still be faster than driving to the shops, but it sometimes doesn't feel like it. Although the process can be less fiddly once you have an account set up, that's not much help to the one-off customer, in whose existence retailers apparently no longer believe.

"Another issue is the delivery process," says Professor Bamfield. "Unless there's some arrangement with neighbours or someone at home all the time, it can be awkward. The concept of special locked cages attached to people's houses hasn't taken off—nor have ideas about consolidating delivery using milkmen."

Collection from a parcel depot or an online retailer's local high-street branch can work, but if people have to travel some distance to get there, wouldn't it have been simpler for them just to have got their goods direct from a shop in the first place? Local convenience stores are also being used as parcel drop-off

All too often, online shopping seems to be more about retailers making you sign up for an account so they can capture your personal data

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points, but surely they'll only ever have We still want to touch and try goods. limited capacity?

Retailers must offer the "store experiAs for the price gap between ence" to show off their wares Personal online and other shops, rising in the flesh and build their touch or double petrol prices and, with them, brands. Apple is an examclick—which do you postal costs could level ple: their customers are orefer? Join the debate things out. "Online buyers hardly afraid of shopping at facebook.com/ of low-cost single items are readersdigestuk or email online, but they still pack likely to be most affected," out the firm's London Covreaderslettersfa, readersdigest. notes Professor Bamfield. ent Garden store. co.uk And having everything delivThe recent trial "boutique" ered will never quite fit with the run by eBay in the West End of spontaneous way most of us shop. "UK London offered physical examples of households are visiting grocery stores products but scan-led purchasing for an average of four times a week. It's not delivery only (if you didn't have a smarteconomical for these small amounts to phone, they'd lend you one). Ignoring be traded online." the fact that this complicated system Lastly, for some reason, people enjoy seems to merge the worst elements of real-life shopping. "It's a leisure activity," online and ordinary shopping under says Sarah Cordey of the BRC. "Internet one roof, the irony of a web-retail giant retail mostly cannot replace that expe- conducting such an experiment is clear. rience of going out to explore stores If that isn't a vote of confidence in bricks and mortar, what is? ■ and having a wander round."

FANCY THAT! THE MYSTERY SURROUNDING RAISIN FINGERS Have you wondered why fingers and toes go wrinkly in the bathtub?

It may not be the most urgent question confronting us, but, surprisingly, scientists still don't know the answer to this pruney problem.

A popular theory holds that, as water is absorbed into the outer layer of skin, it causes the surface to expand, resulting in wrinkles. Others point to a narrowing of blood vessels and nerve fibres on contact with water, which pulls skin structures downwards. But why fingers and toes, and not other parts of the body? It may be that the thicker layer of dead cells (our feet and hands are subject to more wear and tear) absorb more water, but an evolutionary explanation posits that wrinkles act as miniature drainage channels, drawing water away from the fingertips and improving grip in wet conditions.

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Brenda Blethyn ...I WAS BORN BRENDA BOTTLE AND GREW UP IN RAMSGATE. Ours was a bustling, working-class family, and I was the youngest of nine—there were 21 years between my eldest brother Teddy and me. There was plenty of squabbling and fighting—not just between the kids, but also between my mum and dad, who had a sparky relationship. You'd get a clout if you did something wrong, but mostly I remember cuddles and laughter.

...THERE WASN'T MUCH MONEY TO GO AROUND. In fact, to be honest, we had sod all! For years, our bath hung from a hook in the kitchen, and we didn't get a telly until my brother brought home a big black-and-white Rediffusion from his travels in the merchant navy. Then, we felt like we had the Odeon in our front room.

We never took a holiday either—then again, we didn't need one because we had the beach at Ramsgate. But we never felt remotely deprived, probably because everyone we knew was in the same boat. ...MY PARENTS WERE ABSOLUTE GRAFTERS—especially my mum, who always had at least three cleaning jobs on the go. Both my mum and dad had been in service so, when I watch shows like Downton Abbey, I invariably think of them. They'd also both lived through two world wars. My mum lost three brothers in various battles—can you imagine? Yet both my parents maintained a sense of humour all their lives. ...I WAS QUITE SHY AT SCHOOL, BUT I TRIED VERY HARD TO HIDE IT. I was a bit of a class joker. At infants' school, there was a dressing-up box

WIREIMAG E/GETTY IMA GES

Left: "This picture of my niece Val, 3, and me, 7, was taken on Ramsgate seafront in 1953.

There used to be a Kodak cameraman there, snapping everyone who stopped!"

"I was about 17 and feeling glum, so my brother Bill bought me this ball gown and invited me to a dance at the University of London, where he was studying for a PhD. The ball was attended by the Queen Mother—we waltzed right next to her! It was wonderful" APRIL 2 012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK

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and I'd always go straight for the clown's outfit and parade around. My aim in life, even then, was to entertain— nothing changes. ...I DIDN'T GO STRAIGHT INTO ACTING. Until age 27, I was a bookkeeper and secretary working first for British Rail and then for an advertising company.

Looking back, it seems like another life altogether, but there were things I loved about it. The camaraderie of office life, and Archie, the guy who came round with a tea urn and sandwiches—lovely!

...THE BREAKUP OF MY FIRST MARRIAGE CHANGED THE COURSE OF MY LIFE. It's what gave me the get-up-and-go to apply to the Guildford School of Acting. I'd married far too young—a day short of my 20th birthday. But in those days, where I came from, you were "on the shelf" if you weren't married by 16! My husband Alan Blethyn, a graphic designer, was a lovely bloke, and his missusthe woman he left me for—is great, too. I don't see them often, but they're really nice people. If I'd stayed married, I might not have been as willing to spend weeks on the road "in rep" [repertory theatre], which is where actors earned their stripes in those days.

After finishing acting school, I was lucky enough to find a job immediately. I was at the National Theatre from 1975. ...OPTIMISM WAS ALWAYS A BIG PART OF MY PERSONALITY—so I never thought about what'd happen if I didn't make it as an actress. My dad always said to me, "There's no shame in failing, Brenda, only in not trying." ...BECOMING A REALLIFE DETECTIVE. About 40 years ago, I tracked down my brother Teddy. He'd left the merchant navy and lost touch with the family, so I did that old-fashioned thing of going door-to-door with a photo. Eventually, I was told he was living in British Columbia with his family. In time, they came back to the

74 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2012

My dad always said to me, "There's no shame in failing, Brenda, only in not trying"

PHOTOGRAPH SCOURTESY OF BRENDA BL ETHYN

UK and, before he died a few years ago, I got to know him in a way that I never had as a child. ...I OWE THE DIRECTOR MIKE LEIGH A GREAT DEBT. When I worked with him for the first time in 1981 on a film called Grown-Ups, he taught me a completely new way of working. Beforehand, I was a bit lazy, although I didn't know it. I'd never worked in a way where I had to immerse myself so completely in a character that I knew absolutely everything about them, even the stuff that wasn't on the page. Our working relationship really bloomed in the 1996 film Secrets and Lies in which I played Cynthia. I became her so completely that, even now, you could ask me any question about her history, her memories, or even what she'd like to eat for tea...and I'd be able to tell you. ...ATTENDING THE GOLDEN GLOBES IN 1996. I'd been nominated for Secrets and Lies, and had borrowed a hugely expensive diamond brooch from Armani.

In the loo, it popped off, and I was scrabbling around on the floor looking for it when I heard two women at the sinks

discussing the nominations for best actress. One said, "Well, whoever gets it, it certainly won't be Brenda Blethyn!" I was mortified, and waited for them to leave before going back to my seat. So it was doubly wonderful when my category came up and I heard the words, "And the winner is...Brenda Blethyn." ...IT WAS LOVELY TO GET SO MANY DIFFERENT AWARDS AND NOMINATIONS FOR THAT ROLE. But I'm also quite realistic about the way the industry works. There are so many brilliant performances every year, but many don't get nominated because the publicity machine hasn't got behind the film. So you can't allow yourself to think you actually gave one of the five best performances of the year! ...WORKING WITH TIMOTHY SPALL MANY TIMES. Aside from Secrets and Lies, there was the ITV series Outside Edge in the mid-Nineties, the film Mysterious Creatures in 2006 and, more recently, My Angel [2011], in which we play teachers.

He's the most divine bloke and he's so many people's best friend—so, when I say he's my best mate, it doesn't necessarily APRIL 2012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK

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mean that I'm his! He lives close to me in south London and, when I got married, he and his wife were our only guests. ...MIKE [MAYHEW] AND I HAD TALKED ABOUT GETTING HITCHED A FEW TIMES IN OUR 30 YEARS TOGETHER. Once, I was in Las Vegas and called in the middle of night to ask if he wanted to get married. He said, "Hello?

Who is this?" He's definitely a joker.

Finally, he proposed to me on Skype while I was working on the first series of the ITV detective show Vera. I said, "You could get down on one knee, couldn't you?" He said, "OK then"—and promptly disappeared from my screen! ...THE WEDDING WAS A SMALL BUT JOYFUL AFFAIR. It was at Peckham register office in June 2010. The night before, I remembered I'd need a bouquet, so I rushed to the florist. I couldn't even tell her exactly what I was going to wear because I didn't know myself—so she made a couple, to give me a choice. I ended up wearing an orange silk dress that I'd worn previously for a photo shoot.

Afterwards, we went down the pub with Timothy and his wife Shane and their kids [including their son, actor Rafe Span] and drank a toast. It was so stress-free. ...TYING THE KNOT MADE AN UNEXPECTEDLY BIG DIFFERENCE. Being married to Mike is like being

enveloped constantly in a warm cuddle.

It also feels as though we are an extension of each other even though, apart from our sense of humour, we're completely different people. ...I WASN'T PARTICULARLY DRIVEN TO HAVE CHILDREN. The right time just never seemed to arrive, and I don't dwell now on their absence. Occasionally, you feel a sense of nothing continuing after you've gone. My mum and dad are no longer with us, but they continue through me and my siblings—and I won't be able to say that for myself. I'm lucky, though, to have many wonderful nieces and nephews. ...MANAGING TO STAY CLOSE TO MY FAMILY. We often have gettogethers, and we're all members of The Times Crossword Club. I'm

I called in fae middle of the night to ask if he wanted to get married.

He said, "Hello? Who is this?"

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Left: the wedding in Peckham, and right, with Aunt Fran at Buckingham Palace

•-• •• • especially inseparable from my niece Val, who happens to be roughly my age.

Sadly, I've already lost my eldest sister and brother—I still dream of them, and about my parents. I find myself thinking, Oh I must ring them up...hang on, I can't.

It's shocking when it lands on you like that. ...I'VE RUN THREE LONDON MARATHONS FOR THE CHARITY CHILDREN WITH CANCER. I love running and it's quite addictive, but each time I've done the marathon, I've suffered

runner's toenails, where they actually drop off a few days later!

...GETTING THE OBE IN 2003. It was a great moment, but it was tinged with sadness, because I'd have loved to take my parents to Buckingham Palace. They'd seen my early success as an actress, but they wouldn't have been able to believe that I was getting the nod from the Queen.

Fortunately, I was able to take both Mike and my aunt Fran, who was the last remaining sibling on my mum's side. I adored her but, sadly, she too died in 2010.

Aunt Fran was pretty hilarious, though I'm not sure she meant to be. When I told her I was taking her to the Palace, she said, "Lovely, Bren. Will I have to wear...?"

There was a pause. I thought she was going to say, "a hat". But instead she said, "my false teeth"! I nearly fell off my chair, I was laughing so much. • As told to Daphne Lockyer » Brenda stars in the new series of Vera, on ITV1 this month.

WHO'S DOING WHAT AROUND THE GLOBE: ETTERS FROM OZ There are quirky ideas...and then there's Clothing for Correspondence, an Australian company that offers to write letters on your behalf in exchange for, yes, items of clothing. Advertising its services as a "win-win" propostion ("You don't have to search for the words to tell your landlord the camera he installed above your shower is not OK, and we don't have to shop"), they've covered everything from complaints to airlines to the rantings of jilted lovers. Examples of their somewhat offbeat letters can be found on their website (clothingforcorrespondence.com), along with photos of the "awesome hand-me-downs" they've received in return.

ELM

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THIS ARTICLE WAS INSPIRED

BY THE FOLLOWING TWEET

daraobriain arrdigest How about "I am John's Bile Gland"? [Anger] might be a suitable subject for the internet generation #RDTwissue

Grumpy? Irritable?

Just plain furious?

Then try one of these eight clever new ways to put a smile back on your face... ti i CLLR= KU:D,

Social injustice, misbehaving

children, being bumped into in the street—we all get cross about something sometimes. And, in a tricky economic period, we're more likely to get angry more often—from outrage about bankers' bonuses to indignation about pension cuts and job losses.

Of course, anger can be a positive thing, and bring a huge sense of relief when you finally get something off your chest. But getting mad too often also raises your levels of stress hormones, which may damage your immune system and heart, and has been linked to everything from stroke to depressed lung function. 0-

MAKES ME MAD!"

Pretend you're someone you admire. "Lots of people who get

angry a lot do so because they lack self-esteem and feel frustrated," says Annie Hinchliff, a chartered psychologist from Hertfordshire.

If you're starting to get cross, ask yourself what, say, Nelson Mandela or the Queen would do in your situation.

"One man I saw imagined he was George Clooney when he got angry," says Hinchliff. "That gave him the confidence and authority to deal with situations calmly and coolly."

HOW DO I COPE? Kevin McCloud Presenter of BBC2's Grand Designs WHAT MAKES ME ANGRY "I don't do angry. The last time I was even slightly grumpy was when I found a dog turd outside the entrance of a building I was going into. I get mildly frustrated by jobsworths and bureaucracy, but only for about ten minutes. I can't remember the last time I got really cross. Anger is wasteful and foolish. It usually ends up with someone hitting and breaking a piece of furniture—or their hand."

Kirsty Gallacher

Visualise your emotions. If a

TV presenter

colleague sucks up to the boss and you find yourself thinking, What a slimy old toad (or something much worse), imagine, or actually draw, a picture showing an amphibian dripping with ooze. That way, you get to express the anger privately—with the added bonus that it's hard to stay furious when you're doing something so ridiculous.

WHAT MAKES ME ANGRY "I'm a massive animal lover, so I get very upset if I see them being mistreated. Six years ago, on holiday in Bali, I noticed all these cockerels being carried around in tiny wooden cages, ready for cockfighting. Then I noticed all the neglected stray dogs wandering around that no one paid any attention to. Then a lorry packed tight with live chickens went past, and it was the most horrible sight.

"I was already beside myself when I saw a woman on the side of the road with a glass tank full of puppies for sale on what was a boiling hot day. So I lost it, got out of the car and told her what for. I don't know how much of my tirade she understood, but, though Bali is beautiful, I don't think I'll be going back. I even became a vegetarian for a while after that trip."

Don't fool yourself. When you're

caught in the heat of the moment, try to remember that anger causes delusion. For reasons that aren't entirely clear, it encourages your mind to see things in a superficial way and exaggerates the negative qualities of the person you're furious with, until they appear very unattractive, unreasonable and hopelessly faulty.

This makes potentially damaging 80 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2 012

OPENING SPREAD: LUCE PIN XI/ FLICKR/GETTY IMAGES

So if counting to ten has never quite stopped you losing your rag, these more imaginative expert solutions may help.

J EFFMORGAN 03/ALA MY

HOW I CALM DOWN "I'm quite lucky because my job, be it presenting Grand Designs or documentaries about European architecture, is about celebrating things. Thinking like that becomes a habit and stops you getting too negative."

AS told to Simon Flemeirylii » Grand Designs Live is at ExCel, London, from May 4-13. See granddesignslive.com

HOW I CALM DOWN x „1 m good at seeing the reasons behind -4 angry behaviour. I was driving the other day when a guy got really cross about a E; manoeuvre I made (a correct one!), and u-; threw his cigarette packet at my car. I just thought, You're a very sad person if you feel the need to lash out at something so petty. < As told to Caroline Hutton

» Kirsty is supporting Sky Sports "Living for Sport", an initiative to improve the lives of young people across the UK. See skysports. com/living forsport

Jordan Scla re Executive chef at Aqua Kyoto Japanese restaurant, London WHAT MAKES ME ANGRY "I used to work at Gordon Ramsay's restaurant in Chelsea. There was this idea that to be successful you had to be foul-mouthed, aggressive and vile.

I had never sworn at school but now, at the age of 22, it was as though I had a form of Tourette's. You were pushed to your limit, which I think is a terrible way to get the most out of people. One day, the sous-chef blamed me • for something I hadn't done, so I defended myself.

He went mad, pushed his face into mine, eyes bulging, veins popping, screaming and swearing.

"I knew it was time to change job when I found myself in my local Asda screaming, 'Coming through!' to make people in the aisles jump out of my way."

HOW I CALM DOWN "Cook Japanese food! It needs to be Zen, to have the music and poetry of Japan flowing through it. If you can imagine wind chimes, that's the feeling you want to create in your dishes.

Japanese cooking is the fusion of respect and passion—it looks to the best in mankind, not the basest." eugene Cos.

Change your mental vocabulary.

Stop thinking in words like "never" and "always" ("This always happens to me," or, "I never get recognition for my work").

Chartered psychologist Dr Saima Latif suggests balancing such thoughts with more encouraging phrases, such as "I'll try to handle this well," or "It might be possible to..."

Eat less sugar. Researchers at the Cambridge University Behavioural and Clinical Neuroscience Institute found, last year, that those who eat a lot of refined sugar are likely to get irritated when it isn't available. Dr Latif says that these withdrawal symptoms can be avoided by gradually reducing your sugar intake, and if that makes you feel prickly in the short term you can snack on something healthy, such as fruit, instead.

Have a nap. Not only is anger an exhausting emotion but, when you're sleep-deprived, you get more irritated more quickly. If you're at work, a practical way of giving your mind a break might be sloping off for a quick walk.

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HOW DO I COPE? Davina McCall TV presenter WHAT MAKES ME ANGRY "I'm half-French, so I do cross quite well.

On the Continent, you're allowed to have a rant and get it all off your chest. That's what I'm like. It's totally normal to feel angry—it's how you express it that counts. You've got to find an appropriate outlet.

"That said, I used to be a franticangry-shouty mother in the mornings.

The whole getting-to-school thing freaked me out—'Where's your book?

Have you got your sports kit? Hurry up, we're going to be late...' But, one day, I was actually crying at the school gates and another mother said to me, `You just have to wake up half an hour earlier.' " HOW I CALM DOWN "There's a really funny scene in the film Along Came Polly in which Jennifer Aniston gives Ben Stiller a knife to stab the decorative pillows that his ex always made him arrange on their bed in the mornings, then take off at night. I'm not saying we should go around stabbing soft furnishings, but a stint of boxing when I'm angry makes me feel great."

CH » Davina's new ITV1 series Long Lost Family starts this month.

ALAM YCELEBR ITY/AL A MY

behaviour—such as shouting or even violence—seem more acceptable.

So as your anger rises, try to pause and make a real effort to see the reasons why this person is acting in a certain way—it could be anything from a rough childhood to hunger.

Understanding someone is generally the first step to resolving a conflict.

Comedian

COURTESY OF AVALON

WHAT MAKES ME ANGRY "It's hard to explain why, but small things annoy me more than big things. I'll see something terrible on the news and think, / should be cross about that, but I'm not. Yet, if I'm trying to throw a crisp packet away and static electricity makes it stick to my hand, I get very agitated. Perhaps it's because I can turn off the TV, so I'm more in control.

"I was walking down the high street in my home town of Chesham, Buckinghamshire, recently when a bird dropped its load on my head. I was mildly irritated by that, but I took it in my stride. Then I got about ten yards down the road and it happened again. I don't know if it was the same bird, but I was still quite philosophical.

"Then it happened one more time, on my arm, and that did just tip me over the edge. My response was quite cartoonish. I shook my fists at the bird, which is exactly what you're supposed to do when cross.

"I do get very annoyed about language. Things like when people make a speech mark in the air with their hand, to indicate quoting something, and they only do it with one hand. There should be two. It's bad grammar. I think I get this from my dad.

He wasn't a teacher, he was just a pedant."

HOW I CALM DOWN "I try to practise what I preach. We're teaching our toddler to count to ten, but he reaches four and gets angry because he can't remember five. So we give him a biscuit. That's what I do now—a Penguin or a KitKat will normally stop any outburst."

SH » Alex's tour Seven Years in the Bathroom starts in May. See avalonuk.com for details.

I get very agitated if I'm trying to throw away a crisp packet and static electricity makes it stick to my hand

Play with Lego. 'A male patient found that concentrating on this one thing helped him ignore other frustrating aspects of something that hadn't worked out," says Dr Latif. "Any sort of hobby can be good. Another patient had too much time on her hands to ruminate about things, so she took up belly dancing and cross stitch."

Some people counter their anger better by releasing and others by relaxing, adds Dr Latif, so experiment to find out which type of activity is

better for you. Women tend to benefit from using relaxing hobbies, such as listening to classical music, while men are more likely to have aggressive energy and might prefer contact sport.

Make yourself heard. Providing you don't get abusive or shout, there's nothing wrong with saying, "I'm annoyed," and expressing strongly how you feel a situation could be improved.

You may even gain some respect for your cool assertiveness.

HOW DO I COPE? Milton Jones Stand-up comic

HOW I CALM DOWN "Playing football works because it's physically the opposite of what I do for a job.

You can tell how bad my week has been by how aggressive my tackles are."

As told to Bruce Dessau » Milton is appearing at the Altitude Comedy Festival in Mayrhofen, Austria, March 26-31. See altitudefestival.com ■ 84

JASO N BYE/ALAMY

WHAT MAKES ME ANGRY "I'm very slow to get riled but, once I do, I completely flip. I take it and take it and take it, and then I don't.

"About two years ago, I'd been doing quite a lot of Christmas gigs and there were a lot of office parties in the audience who were more interested in getting off with each other than comedy.

"At this wine bar in east London, there was one chap who faced the wrong way the entire show and kept talking. He didn't heckle, he just ignored me, which is worse.

So when I finished, I walked—well, ran—across the room and pushed him hard. He fell backwards, the bouncers piled in and there was a huge melee. It wasn't specifically his fault, it was a build-up, but I really did get a red mist. Fortunately, it all calmed down and he apologised for being rude. But that's the thing about comedy—you can go all the way up the ladder and then suddenly go all the way down the snake again and feel humiliated, even though you're effectively a middle-aged businessman."

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WHY ARE THESE MEN DRESSED LIKE

THIS?

BECAUSE THEY'RE PRETENDING TO BE BEAVERS, OF COURSE. THEY'VE ALSO TRIED BEING INSECTS AND BIRDS-AND EVEN BUILT THEIR OWN NESTS.

1p- •i,'s/7 0 if

THE BIG QUESTION IS: WHY?

BY DANNY SCOTT

How does it feel to be a wild animal? To do without

21st-century human comforts, build your own home from sticks, and spend all day looking for food?

Wildlife filmmaker Matt Thompson, marine engineer James Cooper and animal trainer Lloyd Buck wanted to find out. So, last summer, they constructed man-sized hummingbird and wasp nests, and a beaver's lodge, and spent 24 hours acting like each of their inhabitants.

Their wacky project is documented in the new Nat Geo Wild series Live Like an Animal, which starts this month—but they gave Reader's Digest an exclusive insight into what happened...

88 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2012

No one would ever know: (from left to right) James, Lloyd and Matt got close to the beaver lifestyle by wearing wetsuits and fur hats

WATERY LODGINGS The three men really wanted to

challenge themselves during the experiment—so living as beavers, builders of some of nature's most spectacular houses, seemed a good way to start.

Led by James, and with the help of a back-up crew, they began work on their "lodge" on a rainy day last May, on the not-entirely-authentic,

but easily accessible Alexandra Park boating lake in north London. Beavers take almost a month to build their homes, but the human version took just under a week—though they had to cheat.

"With a real lodge, beavers plunge a few branches into the riverbed and build up from there, piling logs and branches on top of each other," says James, 37, from Gloucestershire. "We'd have needed a team of divers, safety experts and specialist underwater APRIL 2012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK 89

eat bark, which humans can't digest, so I went foraging around the park for wild food. We tried lime leaves and burdock root, but the burdock gave us terrible wind.

"I have to admit, I didn't enjoy being a beaver," he continues.

A real beaver "The lake was only about five —just for feet deep, but I'm an awful reference swimmer and I hated being in the water all the time. At one point, a group of school kids came to see us The Inside of the lodge was lined and I developed a beaver-like shyness. with twigs and foliage, and no bigger We were in our own little world by than a two-man tent. But the three that point, and I felt very vulnerable men didn't have to spend long in and territorial at being stared at. So I hid behind the lodge." their uncomfortable accommodation during the day. Beavers are compulsive Lloyd, also 44 and from Bristol, builders, so Matt, James and Lloyd who specialises in bird handling and spent much of the time gathering has worked on numerous TV nature wood, and repairing and expanding documentaries, was more relaxed their home. about his experience. "Beavers spend "There was also a lot of eating," says their time doing a bit of DIY, hanging Matt, 44, from Bristol. "Beavers mainly out with their family and eating. That's equipment to do that, so we built our lodge on a wooden platform just below the water's surface. We also needed a wooden skeleton to provide shape and strength. The fact that beavers can do all this using just their teeth shows what brilliant engineers they are."

(One lodge in northern Alberta, Canada, was 3,000 feet long and visible from space.)

The human recreation of the beaver's lodge was constructed from four tons of wood

a lifestyle I can sort of understand."

But as night fell and the trio retired to the lodge, even he got unsettled.

"Lodges usually have young in them, so, as an experiment, I decided to give birth," says Matt. "I unexpectedly produced this toy baby beaver—and everything went strange. Previously, James had been the dominant 'animal' among us, because he'd led the construction of the lodge, but suddenly

I was an alpha female. So a weird argument broke out between him and Lloyd as to who was now bottom of the pecking order."

"It sounds crazy, but it was pitch black, very wet and the sudden introduction of a 'youngster' tipped us into behaving as if it was all real," admits Lloyd. "There were no drugs involved—it was just the power of beaver psychology!"

LIVING FOR THE BUZZ

By July, the project had moved

on to the grounds of New York's Museum of Natural History, to satisfy the demands of a joint British-American TV production team. Here, James, Lloyd and Matt attempted to build a wasps' nest.

Wasps build their homes— anywhere from attics to branches —by chewing wood off trees, fences and even garden benches, turning it into a mushy pulp and creating hundreds of hexagonal tubes that they layer on top of each other.

"Papier mache seemed the obvious choice for us to copy this," says James. "But we realised that, even though we had the help of the pulping machines at a local recycling plant, it was going to take weeks to make enough for the solid 15ft x loft nest we'd planned. So in the end, we had to just cover a scaffold with

bits of cardboard arranged like roof tiles. It was a very clumsy imitation of the real thing."

Actually, living as wasps proved APRIL 2012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK 91

even more taxing.

"Their world is totally alien to ours," says Lloyd.

"All they do is rush around collecting food for the larvae.

To simulate this, we had about 50 wooden tubes in our nest, each one containing a larva and attached to a cooking timer. The alarms went off at different times every five minutes to show that the larvae were hungry, and we spent much of our day rushing round resetting each clock to `feed' them. Imagine that! Fifty timers going off every five minutes..."

"I decided to liven things up by trying a few of the sort of insects the larvae eat," Matt grins. "We had some ready-cooked crickets to sample, which were awful—the legs kept getting stuck in my throat. But I found some fresh bugs in the park and they didn't taste too bad. I wasn't quite sure what they were, but I avoided the brightly coloured ones because they're usually poisonous."

"Though we had only a short stint

as wasps, it was soul-destroying," says Lloyd. The nest, which would hold some 5,000 insects in the wild, is "almost Zen-like in its minimalism, and totally comfort free".

"And life is so functional," he adds.

"You work for the colony, and you work until you die. You're constantly feeding children that aren't yours and, even if you're the queen, you don't get to relax—you're just pumping out larvae, a baby machine. After just a few hours, I felt my individuality slipping away. You fall into line so quickly."

92 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2012

WINGING IT After the grim austerity

of the wasps' residence, the team decided that their final location should be the relatively bijou home of the hummingbird.

"Their houses are works of art," says Lloyd. "They steal spider silk, weave it around a branch to create a sticky pad, then knit a ball-shaped nest from soft, springy down, leaves and tiny twigs. The way they weave it allows it to stretch to accommodate between one and three birds."

The human version, constructed at Chicago's Lincoln Park Zoo in August, was built on a steel platform, with around 1,000 feet of bungee rope crocheted into a four-foot-wide circular cup, giving it the elasticity to squeeze three middle-aged men inside. Instead of down and feathers, it was lined with duvets.

As well as enjoying more comfort, Matt was also looking forward to eating something a bit tastier. But it wasn't to be. "Like the wasp, the hummingbird has a fairly mundane life—flying in and out of the nest, fetching food. But it lives at maximum velocity [hummingbirds beat their wings up to 80 times a second and fly at over 30mph] and has to consume more than its own body weight each day in insects and nectar. So I spent 24 hours living off about three pints of a 1:4-ratio sugar-and-water homemade nectar. It was awful. I felt sick and kept fantasising about a fry-up!"

Though most of the men's time was

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As hummingbirds.

We're loving those ties; (inset) the bird house and bemused onlookers

es

and kept getting dizzy. Sex was the last thing on my mind!"

I Overall, though, the project

spent climbing down from their nest's eight-foot-high platform, getting nectar from a cool box—"our equivalent of a summer meadow", says Matt—then climbing back up again, they did have the odd interesting diversion.

"I had a go at recreating the male hummingbird courtship ritual," laughs Lloyd. "When it swoops down to impress its mate, it encounters a force of 9Gs. I tried that in a stunt plane at a nearby airport, but I was wrecked for three days—I couldn't think straight

was an eye-opener. "The natural world has been part of my life since I was a child," says Lloyd. "But I was stunned by how much I learned.

Animals manage feats of engineering that would tax our greatest architects."

"We're so used to seeing nature programmes that we sometimes take for granted how incredible animals are," adds Matt. "The combined efforts of an engineer, an animal trainer and a natural historian couldn't even muster a proper wasps' nest. I've always respected animals, but when I really experienced what their daily lives involve, I just thought, Wow! • » Live Like an Animal starts on Nat Geo Wild on April 8.

APRIL 2012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK 93

The case for more vitamin D in our diets has received a big boost with reports of a sharp increase in childhood rickets. But the health benefits are potentially much broader. Could vitamin D even improve our Olympic medal hopes?

BY JEROME BURNE

When it comes to vitamin D, we could learn a thing or two from the ancient Greek athletes—such

as exercising naked in the sunshine.

And with the Olympics coming up, sun-drenched training might even be a secret weapon in the drive for gold.

"This was something Russian and German sports doctors in the 1950s and 1960s were interested in," says Dr John Cannell, US psychiatrist and founder of the Vitamin D Council.

"There are research papers showing that athletic performance peaks in the summer and is poorest in the winter. Vitamin D stimulates the growth of muscle fibres, and balance and reaction times both improve with higher levels in the blood.

Forty years ago, both Russian and German teams used the equivalent of sunbeds to boost performance."

A recent paper published by the

American College of Sports Medicine highlights the 1968 Summer Olympics in Mexico City. Many US athletes acclimatised to the high altitude and weather by training beforehand in Mexico—and as a result, they won more medals than any other country at those games, especially in outdoor sports. Others point to the success of Jamaican sprinters such as Usain Bolt, who are able to train outdoors all year round and may have better vitamin D levels than athletes who live in harsher environments.

"Most athletes aren't aware of the link between vitamin D and muscle strength," says Professor Tim Oliver, medical oncologist at Barts and the London Hospital. "We tested some boxers and found they had really low levels. We can't say how much it's affecting their performance, but since many sportspeople train indoors-

gymnasts, swimmers, track cyclists—there's no way they can be making enough vitamin D from the sun."

But there's still much to learn. Although German studies from the 1950s demonstrate that higher levels of vitamin D are linked with better performance, that doesn't prove a causal connection. The idea needs testing in a controlled trial—give one group extra vitamin D and the other a placebo, and see if the vitamin group's performance improves.

Sunlight is the ideal source of vitamin D—but levels can be low in the UK. If you want more than the current RD/ of 10-20mcg, raw Atlantic herrin g is the richest foodstuff, with around 40mcg per 100 grams.

Eggs, mushrooms and fortified cereals are also good sources

And how much is enough anyway? The idea that we should all be getting a lot more took a knock last year when the New England Journal of Medicine declared that the evidence for vitamin D being beneficial for anything other than bones was "inconclusive". But four months later, an equally impressive source—the American Endocrine Society—recommended that both children and adults should get their blood level to between 100-150nmo1/1 (nanomoles per litre, which is how levels in the blood are measured)."Vitamin D deficiency is common in all age groups," commented the lead author Professor Michael Holick of Boston University Medical Centre. "Everyone is at risk."

A big randomised trial of vitamin D is due to report in 2016, but Professor Oliver is in no doubt. "Ideally, you should have about the same level in your blood as someone from the Masai tribe in Africa—around 200nmo1/1," he says.

"It makes sense to ask your GP to test your blood level, and if it's lower than that, boost it up with diet, supplements or sunshine."

A ROLE IN THE WOMB? The importance of getting enough vitamin D starts even before childhood, according to Dr Oliver Gillie, one of the first British campaigners for increasing vitamin awareness.

Gillie is critical of the official position that women don't need extra vitamin D in pregnancy, and that babies don't need any until they're six months old at the earliest.

"This can't be right when we know that, in winter, 86 per cent of people

96

READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2012

in Britain don't have optimum levels in their blood," says Gillie, citing a 2007 study. "Many babies won't be getting optimum amounts in the womb."

The campaign group Shine on Scotland has urged the Scottish government to provide vitamin D supplements to all pregnant mothers as a way of tackling the country's "dire" rates of multiple sclerosis, a call echoed by George Ebers, professor of clinical neurology at Oxford University, who points to a strong link between MS and vitamin D deficiency.

Although experts have been cautious

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WARDING OFF DISEASES

Vitamin D deficiency is certainly a factor behind the recent sharp rise in cases of the bone disease rickets among otherwise healthy children in the UK, with the highest rates in parts of the country that get less sunshine—Scotland, Northern Ireland and northern England. Computer games, TV and a lack of outdoor activities have shouldered a lot of the blame, but it's also attributable to the changing ethnic mix in recent decades (those with darker skin require longer exposure to sunlight to generate vitamin D).

Over the last year there's been something of a U-turn by bodies such as Cancer UK, who for years have been warning us to put on hats and sunscreen whenever we venture out in the sun. The official advice is now for everyone to get around 10-15 minutes in the sun a day (without sun lotion, if possible), making sure you don't burn. In addition, scientists keep coming up with evidence that higher levels of vitamin D later in life may protect against the big chronic killers such as diabetes and heart disease. Last year, a controlled study with 90 Type-2-diabetes patients found those given a vitamin-D-fortified yogurt drink lowered their blood sugar and lost weight compared with those getting yogurt alone.

Another study found that arteries are less likely to stiffen up with good vitamin D levels, which may lower the risk of heart The RDA used to be 5-10mcg, which disease. And if you're being treated for is the equivalent of the other breast cancer with oestrogen-blocking measure less commonly used: drugs, a vitamin D supplement may cut 200-400 His (40 IU = one mcg). joint and bone pain.

Those pushing for optimum levels say we need 80-100mcg, but critics about giving supplements to pregnant of this view claim that 20mcg (the women, a recent trial yielded positive current RDA) would be enough for results. Five hundred women took up to 99 per cent of the population.

'00mcg (five times the current RDA) or a In terms of supplements, there w placebo during pregnancy. Those with the are numerous options available z highest level of vitamin D were found to be in liquid or pill form. Most he least likely to go into labour early, give chemists should provide you ID oirth prematurely or develop infections. with 50mcg or even 100mcg per "We didn't see a single adverse dose. Make sure you go for 'vent—it was absolutely safe and we vitamin D3, generally reckoned saw a lot of improved outcomes," says to be the most potent ■ ID lead researcher Professor Bruce Hollis, a paediatrician at the Medical University of South Carolina.

DOSES AND SUPPLEMENTS

Children play at the Darawish camp in Mogadishu, Somalia, home to over 4,000 families

A REFUGEE Thousands of people need your help. They've just fled a bloody warzone, they're hungry, thirsty and have nowhere to sleep. So what do you do?

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BERT WANDER/SAVE THE CHILDREN

THIS ARTICLE WAS INSPIRED

BY THE FOLLOWING TWEET

tji BritishRedCross 1(i:9,2.:;i How do you set up a refugee camp? Cook, build toilets and tents for 2,000 people? #RDTwissue

HITTING THE GROUND RUNNING Charlie Mason is a humanitarian adviser for Save the Children.

He helps coordinate the charity's response to up to a dozen conflict situations and natural disasters at any one time, both from its London headquarters and in the field "If a crisis occurs and people need our

help, we're always ready. We have staff

BY E JANE DICKSON

in 120 countries, so we'll talk to the UN Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs, other aid organisations and the country involved to find out what's needed, then often get supplies and workers to the scene within 24 hours.

APRIL 2012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK

99

4 "Contrary to what you might think, our first task in a refugee situation isn't to herd a load of individuals, scattered over a wide area, into one place and start a camp. People fleeing some big event tend to follow each other to safety, often congregating on high ground, just over a national border or near a river.

And they don't generally want to go too far from their neighbourhoods—even if their homes have been destroyed—as they hope to go back to check on property and businesses.

When I arrived in Port-au-Prince, Haiti, after the January 2010 earthquake, some 200,000 people had just gone to the nearest park or golf course. So unless refugees are at risk of attack by rebel groups, say, and need to be moved further into a neighbouring country, we usually assess what an ad-hoc settlement needs and

The Croix-des-Peres camp in Leogane, Haiti, one of many supported by Save the Children

Al IN A DESPERATE SITUATION, PEOPLE start to construct the facilities right there.

"Sanitation is always a priority. It's important that you protect human waste from flies, or they'll buzz around the camp and disease can become rampant.

That means we have to construct what can be hundreds of latrines in a hurry.

Each one can take five men a day to dig, and there might only be around 70 emergency workers from various charities 100 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2012

per 100,000 refugees, so we have to mobilise volunteers from the camp to help us. If they're too ill or weak, we may pay people from nearby towns and villages, but that's costly and it can undermine the local economy if residents can earn more from working at the camp than they do tending their farm.

"We give people food individually or install a voucher system, rather than just

MAY USE THEIR BODIES AS CURRENCY 33

li dump it all in one place and risk a complete scrimmage, where the strongest win and women and children are left on the sidelines. It's also a question of self:, respect. No one wants to be fed off the back of a truck like cattle.

• "It's a horrible reality but, in a desper•ate situation, people may be forced to use their bodies as currency in return 'L for food or other items. We try to protect

women and children by putting latrines in public places and lighting them with solar lamps. We're also careful that our emergency shelters are built with a black plastic inner core, so you can't see through them, even at night. Respecting privacy may seem like a small thing among so many urgent priorities, but it's particularly important for disaster victims to start to feel human again."

APRIL 2012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK 101

IN IT FOR THE LONG-HAUL Geoffrey Dennis is chief executive of CARE International UK. Its most recent projects include providing shelter, food and medical care for more than 40,000 refugees escaping political violence in Ivory Coast and 50,000 flood victims across Southeast Asia.

"One of the tricky things about setting up a camp is dealing with the resentment that the sudden influx of a huge number of people can cause. We've been helping some of the 200,000 or so Sudanese refugees who've fled to Chad to escape the ongoing Darfur guerilla conflict, and there have been scuffles between the locals and the incomers over scarce resources such as water. A key part of our job, then, is negotiating with host communities about land rights when expanding a camp and, where possible, trucking in water or building wells, and supplying firewood so women don't have to get it from nearby villages.

"When someone arrives at a camp, we give them a medical check, a basic kit

Newly arrived refugees from Somalia wait to be registered at the Dadaab camp in Kenya

(such as a tent and cooking utensils) and three weeks' food. After that, rations are distributed twice a month, so people have a degree of independence in managing their supplies. They're calculated at a minimum of 2,100 calories per person a day and include staples like flour, rice, chickpeas, oil, sugar and salt—though malnourished children are given supplementary feeding, such as high-protein biscuits and cereals. We try not to turn

DADAAB WORLD'S LARGEST REFUGEE CAM BY NUMBERS

464,000 refugees, 270 aid-agency staff members, 1,600 refugee workers.

3,500 tons of food distributed every 14 days, and 7.5 million litres of water distributed every day, to provide refugees with 15 litres each. Source: CARE International UK 102 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2 012

KATE HOLT/CARE INTERNATION AL

it's often not possible for people to return to their original villages or towns for years, perhaps because they can't be sure it's safe or because it'll still be too hard for them to eke out a living there.

CARE now runs five primary schools for 15,000 children at Dadaab, along with greenhouses to grow food, and even IT learning centres.

"I've seen some heartbreaking things in camps.

At Dadaab recently, I met a woman who'd lost her husband and had walked for 21 days from central Somalia, chronically short of food and water. She arrived at the camp with her son, who was about seven, walking beside her, and a starving refugees away because we haven't got baby on her back. She'd checked the enough food, but we sometimes have to infant every four hours, but when she limit daily allowances—perhaps to just got to the camp, the baby was dead on her back. If she'd arrived a few hours enough to keep everyone alive. earlier, it'd be alive now "But there are positive stories, too. I "Unfortunately, running a camp can be a long-term commitment. In 1992, know a young woman who's been in when I was international director of the Dadaab since she was three and now Red Cross, I worked in the Dadaab refu- works for CARE, looking after female gee camp, Kenya, which was then home victims of sexual violence. She's one of to 158,000 Somalians who'd fled the civil 1,600 refugees helping us in East Africa. war in their country. I went back a few And I've seen amazing generosity in months ago and, with a serious drought camps throughout the world—once, a adding to Somalia's problems, the popu- severely malnourished mother gave up lation had swelled to more than 450,000. her ration to save an orphaned child.

"I believe the majority of the world's In crisis-hit areas, news of a refugee camp can spread far and wide—if people reckon population are good people. They don't they'll get help by heading in a certain want handouts—they just want the direction, they'll just start walking. And chance to rebuild their lives." ► APRIL 2 012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK 103

THE BOX OF TRICKS Tom Lay is an operations coordinator at ShelterBox. Since 2000, the Cornwallbased organisation has distributed its lifesaving "ShelterBoxes"—a supply kit that includes a tent, thermal clothes and water-purification equipment—to almost 200 crisis-hit communities.

"Part of what spurs us to help refugees is the strength of character they show in the face of adversity. I was in Somalia at the end of 200Z and people who'd just fled the conflict were simply standing up and getting on with life. They were making shelters from trousers and shirts, teenage girls were being giggly and chatty, just as they would be in Britain, and little boys were playing football with bits of litter instead of balls.

"Fortunately, though we're a relatively small charity based in Cornwall, we were started by Rotary Club member Tom Henderson and have the contacts to be able to help people all over the world.

You'd be surprised by how many wellconnected Rotarians there are, from East Africa to Japan.

"I was deployed to Namibia in spring 2009, where13,000 people had been made homeless by river flooding. A load of ShelterBoxes arrived at the airport on a Sunday and the customs officials told us, 'We haven't got the staff to process these.

Come back tomorrow.' But one of our 104 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2012

contacts had a direct line to the country's vice president, gave him a quick call and, suddenly, the officials were able to get our stuff through there and then.

"These local Rotarians also provide our box-distribution teams—most of whom come from a global network of volunteers, organised on the ground and from Cornwall by people like me—with things such as accommodation, translators and transport. And we've been able to set up distribution centres in places like Houston, Pakistan and Dubai, with about 5,000 ShelterBoxes in stock at any one time. The amount of boxes we send to an incident can range from a few dozen, if it's relatively small or if other aid agencies already have a big presence there,

Setting up a tent in Madagascar, for refugees made homeless

by Cyclone Giovanna that struck in February

D AVID WEBBER/ SHELTERBOX

"There are occasionally drawbacks

to distributing what's essentially a piece of kit worth several hundred pounds.

In 2008, I was deployed to the Congo, where there was a lot of violence in the eastern regions. Giving people boxes would have made them a greater target for the advancing rebel forces than they were already, so, reluctantly, we had to hold onto the stock, finally distributing it a few months later.

"We try to provide more than the bare minimum for survival in our boxes. The tent is built to withstand the elements in

REFUGEE-CAMP SHOPPING LIST LATRINE KIT including digging equipment,

to serve 5,000 people: £800.

INFRASTRUCTURE set for temporary

clinics, nutrition centres and schools.

Includes tent, shading net, water filter, lamp, rope and barrier fencing: £1,950.

SHELTER REPAIR KIT (one per ten

families). Includes an axe, hammer, nails, rope, work gloves and wire: £85.

any climate, and the children's activity pack we include is fun and has a practical purpose, too. Kids are kids around the world—when they're not at school they're getting under your feet. If a family is trying to keep them entertained, it means there's not much time for picking up the pieces of their lives. Similarly, the stoves we provide have a functional use but they're also a real 'hearth' for families—a sense of home. Our keywords are `shelter, warmth and dignity'. That's what we aim to deliver." ■ » For more information on all the charities featured in this article, and details of how to donate, visit savethechildren.org, care international.org and shelterbox.org

EMERGENCY HEALTH KIT, for 1,000 people

for three months: £7,500.

HIGH-NUTRIENT PEANUT PASTE, enough

to keep one child alive for a month: £26.

10,000-LITRE WATER TANK: £900.

MOSQUITO NET to cover ten children: £15.

STANDARD FAMILY SHELTER, with two

plastic sheets, five blankets, one bucket, one jerrycan and cooking utensils: £70.

WINTER-READY FAMILY TENT: £170

SOUR CE: SAV ET HEC HILD RE N

to the more than 16,000 we sent over four months to Haiti. Last year, we sent 15,000 boxes to 25 different disasters.

HOW TO... BY LINDA GRAY

1,001 THINGS Welcome to the pages that help make life simpler, easier and—we hope—more fun!

How to HIDE FROM YOUR NEIGHBOURS but that doesn't mean it's private, and you may want to screen it before getting out the sun lounger. But, as boundaries are a top cause of neighbour disputes, it pays to tread warily before putting up barriers of any kind.

Unless you're in a conservation area or the house next door is listed, you don't need permission to erect a fence or wall under two metres high (one metre if it faces a road). If you don't want to be peered at by passing traffic, plant a hedge. There's no height ban on these, though you can be charged with antisocial behaviour if your leylandii get out of control.

Councils can vary the rules, so contact the local planning department before you shut yourself in. Check your deeds for restrictive covenants and see where the boundaries lie—it's not always obvious. If there's any doubt, ring the Royal Institute 106 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2012

of Chartered Surveyors' helpline on 0870 3331600 (calls charged) for advice.

Keep the peace by consulting the neighbours and give them plenty of notice, so they have time to relocate any precious plants. You can't force them to repair or replace "their" fence or stop them removing it—if they won't cooperate, be prepared to pay for the work yourself. It may rankle, but it's the very best way to mend fences.

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How to UNDERSTAND KIDSPEAK LOLZ! AMAZEBALLS! THAT'S BANGIN'! A message like that might as well be in Cantonese—which is the point, because teenagers need to exclude the adult world.

But when you can't understand prime-time TV or need to decode a text, knowing a little "yoof speak" helps ease communication and prevent fogeyish faux pas.

LOL, for example, is not "lots of love" as you might think. It means "laugh(ing) out loud". As for LOLZ, it's from the reality show The Only Way Is Essex (or TOWIE), where z is used for plurals (so "laughs out loud") and abbreviations, as in WELL JELZ (envious).

TOWIE is also responsible for REEM, meaning hot (as in sexy). But, apart from its name, it can't be held accountable for acronyms and contractions such as TOTES (totally) and FUGLY (****ing ugly).

For those we must blame texting and tweeting.

Among the most common are OMG! (oh my God!) and WTF? (what the ****?).

FYI, acronyms for "by the way" (BTW), and "to be honest" (TBH) are rather middle-aged.

Some terms are inspired by modern life. One is iFinger (the one kept clean so you can use a touchscreen when eating), another is UMFRIEND to describe a casual sexual partner (as in, "He's my, um, friend").

You'll find many more online at urbandictionary.com, and on TV (TOWIE, Made in Chelsea, Skins, and Summer Heights High).

Listen and learn, but never repeat, because even the ubiquitous YAY! can mean cocaine. Which could be TOTES AWK.

* "Talk to you later"— in case you didn't know

1,001 THINGS

How to BEAT COMPUTER BLUES

is the magic combo.

Most are self-evident (Ctrl + s = save), though not Ctrl k, which links a word to a website, or Ctrl + or - to zoom in or out.

Housekeeping. Ctrl/ Shift/N creates a folder, F3 means search, and F2 rename. And add the date by pressing Alt/Shift/D to insert it—British style.

How to DOUBLE YOUR LEISURE TIME WANT TO WORK HALF AS LONG instead of twice as hard? Yes, we're talking jobsharing—still possible even in a downturn, where no one dares object when asked to work late. True, it means persuading a company to hire two people to do the work of one, the opposite of the current trend. But, says Working Families, which campaigns for work-life balance, it can be done if you can convince the company it's good for them. Explain...

Long hours mean less profit.

"Presenteeism costs more than absenteeism," says Sarah Jackson, head of Working Families. Because they infect colleagues and customers, workers who come in when sick cost companies 1.5 times more than those who take a duvet day.

Have you seen BP's results?

They're one of the blue-chip

108 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2012

companies running job-share schemes, along with Boots, Marks & Spencer, city firms Deloitte, Freshfields and KPMG, plus DHL, Centrica, and many banks.

This is how it works. Show how you'll divide the workload (by time, projects, or splitting it into separate roles). Stress the advantages (that the job will be covered from 8am-6pm, say), and explain that you'll work together seamlessly by having a handover day.

How about a pilot scheme?

Suggest this if you sense resistance, and point out that job-sharing is rarely longterm—the average scheme lasts for just two years.

You'll keep high-flyers.

Research by employment consultants Capability Jane found that 90 per cent of high-powered women would consider leaving their job if they couldn't work part-time.

BIDDIBOO/ GE TTY IMAGES

SWAP COMPLICATED TOOLBAR CHOICES for some nifty keyboard shortcuts. These are for Windows (sorry, Mac users), but using CMD instead of the Ctrl button may give the same results: Lifesaving. Hit Ctrl z (undo last action) if you accidentally delete a day's work, Fl to open Help in the program you're in.

Speed-editing. Ctrl + the relevant letter

How to WALK AND TALK IF YOU'RE TIRED OF WALKING SOLO,

should shift eight pounds in six weeks (from £70 pa). Or try Nordic walking, which uses poles to speed you up and tone the upper body. Chatting potential: v

try walking with a group instead. But which one is right for you?

• Like minds. You'll find walking groups

• Long and easy. There's more to the

TO M MERTON/GETTY IMAGE S

Ramblers than the grizzled hikers who, admittedly, are its core members. Ramblers also run groups for under-50s, plus flexigroups for short and special-interest walks. Otherwise, expect a sociable walk of five to 15 miles with time to drink in the view (and a pint) for £31 a year.

Chatting potential: • Short and fast. Get fit in an hour on a free health walk organised by Walking for Health. Walks are usually two to three miles at a brisk pace (15-17 minutes per mile). If weight loss is your goal, pump your arms as well as legs, says fitness guru Joanna Hall, whose Walkactive courses

at work, universities and societies from the Rotary to the WI. The one drawback is that these are people you meet anyway, so conversation may stall.

Chatting potential: ✓✓✓

• Personal best. Hill climbing and longdistance hikes are endurance challenges— even group walks expect participants to complete 20-plus miles in a set time, say the Long Distance Walkers Association.

Chatting potential: • Feel good. Almost every charity organises fund-raising walks, and the solidarity that comes from supporting a cause makes this the ultimate bonding experience. Chatting potential:

WHAT YOUR CREDITCARD COMPANY TELL YOU How to BREAK A HABIT TIME TO THROW OFF THAT COMFORT BLANKET, or at least turn it round. Habits undermine our ability to rise to challenges, says psychologist Professor Ben Fletcher— instead of coming up with new strategies, we simply repeat what we tried before.

A sure way to spot stuck thinking is if a problem keeps recurring—so if parking tickets or hangovers mount up, it's time to act. Going without a watch, sleeping on the other side (or end) of the bed, changing your home page and walking down an undiscovered road disrupt set patterns of behaviour. "It's easy, fun and psychologically powerful, because small changes lead to big differences," says Fletcher, who lists them online at dsd.me and in his book Flex (£8.99).

Then think about your personality traits and see how it feels to be the opposite.

Speak out or stay shtum, allow more time or less, make a detailed plan of the day or act on the spur of the moment—whichever doesn't come naturally. This alters our view of ourselves and our attitude to others, helping to counter train-track thinking, open up opportunities and even increase our enjoyment of life.

110 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2012

My card could damage your credit rating.

Though there are dozens of credit cards, there's only a handful of issuers and they don't allow you to have more than one card.

As rejection can damage your credit rating, ring them to check before you apply.

That way, it won't register on your file, says RD's finance expert Jasmine Birtles, author of Beat the Banks (£7.99).

Card tarts don't bother me.

They constantly change cards to get a 0% balance transfer deal.

But if they forget to move before

the agreement ends, I'll hit them with up to 20% APR and they'll lose all they've gained. Unless they sign up to moneysaving expert.com's free Tart Alert, which sends them a text reminder.

That £2,000 holiday could cost £3,216.

And you could still be paying for it in 2019.

Picking a pricy card and paying back the minimum can rack up debt.

Pay it off as fast as you can or switch cards for a better deal. fr Don't blame me for huge transaction fees.

Airlines, theatres and even the DVLA levy them as a way of making money, and it's so out of hand that the Government is clamping down. But watch out for other cheeky charges

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—such as easyJet's new £9 admin fee.

• You don't need card insurance.

The most you'll have to pay if your card is lost or stolen is £50, and I often waive that.

I can't even reject your claim if your PIN is used, unless I can prove you've been negligent.

My interest rates are negotiable.

But it works both ways. If you always pay on time, I might agree to reduce the going rate or drop additional fees.

But I only have to give my headline deal to 51% of

customers, so if you're feckless, I can charge you more.

I can save you a fortune.

Where else can you get up to 56 days' free credit plus a refund on purchases if things go wrong?

Under Section 75 of the Consumer Credit Act, I have to pick up the tab for faulty or no-show buys from £100 to £30,000 paid for by credit card.

Even if you only use the card for the deposit, I have to refund the whole price.

• Two ways to lose a lot of money: 1.Withdraw cash.

Interest (as high as 30%) starts the minute you leave the ATM, and don't forget the transaction charge (U.50 minimum).

2. Use your card abroad. As most providers charge 3% every time it's used, take out a prepaid card and load it with holiday spending money instead.

• You don't have to accept an interest-rate rise.

I'm bound to tell you twice and give you time to pay

if you decide to close your account.

If you do, check with an agency such as Experian that it's closed by you, not me, or you'll get a black mark on your credit rating.

Let your laptop do the maths.

There are 14 different ways of calculating interest, so get help online.

Sites such as moneysupermarket. com and money savingexpert.com take seconds to show you if that 0% interest deal is worth the 3.5% fee. ■

APRIL 2012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK 111

MEDICINE WITH MAX PEMBERTON

*HOOKED

other commitments, so that, for example, I was surprised when Janice, a middleon a Monday when she volunteered in a aged, middle-class housewife, walked charity shop, the chemists she visited were through the door of the drug-dependency all nearby. As a piece of planning, it was unit. She didn't look like my usual patients, mind-blowing in its rigour. and at first she didn't talk about "Sundays used to be tricky, her addiction, but instead but I managed to called it her "silliness". combine getting the For several years tablets with the she'd been taking weekly shop, since increasing amounts all the supermarkets of over-the-counter stock them," painkillers. She was now consuming she said. around six packets a Her husband, of day. The painkillers course, was blissfully contained codeine, a unaware of the extent mild opiate. Her local of her "silliness". "He's pharmacy had become hardly ever at home, so he suspicious because she was doesn't notice. I have to be regularly buying so many about the packaging, "I can't be careful tablets—so she'd developed an though. I throw it all in the park an addict; bin, but I know I should recycle elaborate journey each morning in order to obtain enough to see it really."

I pay my her through the day. As soon as When I worked out exactly taxes and how much codeine was in each her husband, a City lawyer, left for work, she'd set out on her listen to tablet and the number she took mission. She produced an each day, I was horrified—she Radio 2" itinerary for each day of the week, was taking so much opiate it and used pharmacies grouped together by was equivalent to a bag of heroin a day. location so she didn't have to travel too far.

"But I'm not an addict," she'd repeat She'd managed to fit this around her frequently. I often wondered if it was me @age_uk @NEJM @mindcharity @drmarkporter 112

READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2 012

FOTOSEARCH/GE TTYIMAGES

We sent out a tweet asking what you'd most like to read about in this column—the dangers of over-the-counter drugs was the clear winner

ILLUSTRATED BY DAVID HUMPHRIES/MONSTE R

she was trying to convince, or herself.

"I can't be an addict; I pay my taxes and listen to Radio 2."

It's a sad fact that people, for a whole host of reasons, sometimes turn to substances to help them cope with the realities of their lives, or to manage underlying psychological problems. Meeting Janice was a salutary lesson for me in understanding that addiction can afflict anyone from any walk of life.

It also taught me that just because a drug comes in a packet you buy over the counter, rather than wrapped in Clingfilm from a man wearing a hoodie in a dark alley, doesn't mean it can't be dangerous, and that it's not addictive.

Max Pemberton is a hospital doctor, and the Mind Journalist of the Year 2010

5. Diuretics reduce the amount

NOW YOUM of excess fluid in the blood and reduce the pressure.

TION' thus These usually end with "ide".

Sometimes people need BLOOD more than one type of PRESSURE medication to reduce their TABLETS blood pressure.

WHAT DO THEY DO? This group of pills aims to reduce the "blood pressure" (or "hypertension") in your blood vessels. Over a long period of time, high blood pressure is dangerous because it increases the risk of having a stroke or heart attack, or other problems such as kidney damage.

HOW DO THEY WORK? There are five main types of pills: 1.ACE inhibitors control hormones that affect blood pressure. They mostly have names that end in "pril".

2. Angiotensin receptor blockers also act on hormones.

Most of them end in "artan".

3. Calcium channel blockers relax blood-vessel walls. Their names usually end in "pine".

4. Beta-blockers work by blocking the effects of the hormone adrenalin. This helps slow down the heart rate and so reduce blood pressure. They usually end with "Id".

WHO TAKES THEM? Anyone who has high blood pressure— what's considered high depends on age. Also, people who have had a heart attack or stroke—to reduce the risk of it happening again.

HOW DO YOU TAKE THEM? In the morning with a large glass of water.

SIDE EFFECTS? All the pills have different potential side effects, but generally most people don't experience problems. The most common complaint is light-headedness, but this usually passes. Some people on ACE inhibitors complain of a dry cough. People with asthma shouldn't take beta-blockers.

COMMON TABLETS Captopril, losartan, amlodipine, atenold, bendroflumethiazide. ■ NEXT MONTH: angina pills

APRIL 2012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK 113

HEALTH WITH SUSANNAH HICKLING

TICK TOCK TICK...

Is Britain sitting on a tick timebomb?

New research from the University of Bristol found that 14.9% of the 5,000-plus dogs they examined had ticks, with 2.3% of these little critters carrying potentially deadly Lyme disease. So as the weather warms up and you head outdoors, here are a few fast facts to pack with your picnic.

FACT1You can only catch Lyme disease from an infected tick.

It has to be carrying the bacterium Borrelia burgdorferi, but even then you might not develop it.

FACT 2 You'll probably only get a rash.

It starts at the bite site and may spread, leaving a clear area in the centre. You may also get flu-like symptoms.

FACT 3 In an unlucky few, Lyme disease can get serious. It can cause meningitis, heart problems, arthritis, nerve damage, paralysis or blindness.

Scary—but rare. And if you head off to the doc when you see the rash, antibiotics can prevent that happening.

FACT 4 There are up to 3,000 cases a year in the UK. But we're still a long way behind many other European countries.

FACT 5 Even suburban parkland can be home to these little pests. But the areas most affected are the southern counties of England, the Lake District, the Yorkshire Moors and the Scottish Highlands.

FACT 6 Ticks are the size of a poppy seed. The spiderlike insects are easy to miss. Check clothes and skin (including scalp and skin folds) and dog fur after a walk in the woods or long grass. Better still, wear long sleeves and trousers tucked into socks. You won't score highly on country chic, but you'll win on tick prevention.

a bbcNewsnight a BBCRadio4#r4today i&SimplyBestTech @THHN2 @mjauk 114 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2 012

I'd had a problem "down there" for a few years before I was diagnosed in spring 2010 at 41. It started as a spot on the tip of my penis that got sore from time to time. But I resisted my doctor's advice to go to a sexual-health clinic. It couldn't be sexually transmitted—I was single after a divorce, but careful. I treated it with creams instead.

But it didn't go away. It was meeting the woman of my dreams that changed everything. Marlena urged me to do something. By the time I went to the clinic, the sore was the size of a 2p piece.

I was referred to the Christie, a cancer hospital in Manchester. I'll never forget my surgeon drawing a picture of a penis and then a line right through the head, to show me what a glansectomy would entail.

"I'm not having it done," I said to Marlena. I felt I wouldn't be a man any more. Because fewer than 450 men a year get penile cancer in the UK, there was no one to talk to. But after many rows, I went ahead.

It was worth it. I just wish I'd gone to a specialist earlier. The doctors rebuilt the end of my penis with skin from my thigh.

It doesn't look the same and there isn't as much sensation, but the cancer hasn't spread. What's more, Marlena and I are expecting a baby next month!

Dave Sumner

PHOTODISC/GETTY IMA GES

COURTESYOFDAVESUMNER

I HAD 'ANCER OF THE PENIS

BONE UP ON EXERCISE WHAT'S GOOD FOR INCREASING BONE DENSITY AND PREVENTING OSTEOPOROSIS? • Star jumps (above) • Push-ups • Walking • Running • Resistance (also known as weight) training • T'ai chi AND WHAT'S NO GOOD? • Swimming and cycling—both build muscle, but don't put enough weight on the bones

HERE Wu GO! Cycling might not do much for your bones, but it's great for brains when done as part of a video game, a New York study found. The virtual environments and interactive features helped "cybercyclists" aged 58-99 become more mentally agile. So if older people want to boost cognitive health, they should do this type of workout several times a week.

APRIL 2 012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK

115

HEALTH

THE DIET DOCTOR

It depends on the type, says Dr David Ashton of Healthier Weight According to the latest celebrity endorsements, the easy way to get rid of middleaged spread is to enjoy a nice cup of tea.

Given that we Brits drink around 165 million cups a day, we should be among the slimmer populations in the world rather than one of the fattest.

But the tea that's usually referred to in the context of weight loss isn't standard British-brew black tea, but much more exotic leaves, especially green tea. Both green and black teas come from the same plant—Came/ia sinensisbut the leaves are processed differently. As a result, green tea contains a group of flavonoids called catechins, the most abundant of which is epigallatocatechin gallate (EGCG).

Together with caffeine, found in both

THREE WAYS TO BEAT THE BLOAT 116

green and black tea, it's the activity of catechins—particularly EGCG—that's responsible for weight loss.

EGCG and other catechins are said to be "fat burners"—they promote the breakdown (oxidation) of fats, leading to weight loss. Several studies have shown that green tea does indeed increase fat oxidation at rest by up to 16%. With regard to weight loss, a recent analysis of 11 different studies showed that subjects who drank green tea lost—on average-2.9lbs more over a 12-week period than those in the control group. This is a significant, though modest, effect. And the sceptic might argue that this sort of weight loss could be achieved simply by switching from a standard cup of milky tea with one sugar (40 calories) to calorie-free green tea. Assuming you drink four 40-calorie cups a day, over a 12-week period this would lead to a saving of 13,440 calories. This equates to a 3.81b weight loss, slightly more than the 2.9Ibs in the study referred to above.

So whether or not green tea has specific fat-burning properties, if you are a regular black tea (or coffee) drinker with milk and sugar, switching to zerocalorie green (or other) tea could help weight loss. And anyway, digestives don't taste anything like as nice with green tea.

1. Sling the salt cellar. The sodium in salt encourages your body to retain water. So flavour food with herbs or grated lemon rind instead.

2. Chew slowly and well. Swallowed air can cause bloating—not to mention wind. So don't eat in a rush, and chew your food thoroughly.

3. Don't talk with your mouth full. Mum was right! Chit-chat and tension round the dinner table can lead to swallowed air. Relax before a meal by breathing in and out through your nostrils a few times. ■ FOR MORE ON HEALTH, GO TO READERSDIGEST.CO.UK/HEALTH

SHINGLES

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like 90% of UK adults, you have ever had hickenpox, there is a 1 in 4 chance you will evelop shingles at some point in your lifetime. hingles (also known as herpes zoster) is a condition that is caused by the reactivation of the chickenpox irus. Once you've had chickenpox, the irus stays dormant in your body until is reactivated, causing shingles. It is of fully known what causes the virus o reactivate, but anyone who has had ickenpox could develop shingles in er life, often many years after the riginal chickenpox infection. It tends to cur more frequently in people aged 50 ears or older. It usually causes a rash n one side of the body.

The symptoms of shingles are sually mild but can be very unpleasant r some. Shingles usually starts with a eadache, fever, and tiredness, and you re likely to feel unwell. It's very common o feel a burning pain somewhere on e body, which may become extreme. ithin a few days to three weeks this ea of pain will start to develop a red ash, which will turn into fluid-filled listers. When these painful blisters first they will then turn into sores that eventually crust over and heal. ost people recover but some people ontinue to feel extreme pain in the area the rash that can remain for many onths, or in extreme cases even years. his is known as post-herpetic neuralgia

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4

(PHN). PHN can prevent sufferers from living a normal life, and for some even a slight breeze against the skin can be painful and distressing.

Shingles varies from person to person and some people will require treatment. See your GP as soon as possible, ideally within 72 hours of the rash occurring.

Most people do not have any long-term effects, but for some shingles can cause complications. If shingles develops in the eye it can lead to decreased vision or even permanent blindness in the affected eye.

It is possible to prevent shingles. See your GP who can give you more information.

Other sources of information include www.shinglesaware.co.uk or the Shingles Support Society, 41 North Road, London N7 9DP who have a helpline (0845 123 2305) and a website (www.shinglessupport.org)

0 Scan the QR code with your smartphone to access www.shinglesaware.co.uk

BEAUT WITH JAN MASTERS

44

BACK TO BASE Why do so many of us keep buying the wrong foundation?

Buying foundation is tricky. In fact, I reckon if all of us pooled our poorly judged purchases, we could paint the town, er, some kind of beige. So before you shop for a new one, consider three key criteria.

1.Skin Type. If you have dry skin, prone to flakiness or tightness, look at cream and liquid formulations with hydrating properties. Oily skin, which tends to shine a couple of hours after cleansing, will benefit from powder or mattifying varieties. If you only need to apply base to, say, your cheeks, assess the skin type in that area.

2. Decide what you most want from your foundation. There are so many out there, and although most are multitaskers, they usually boast one or two specific qualities.

For instance, among the new launches, NYC All Day Long Smooth Skin Foundation, £3.99, is designed for staying power; Benefit Hello Flawless Oxygen Wow, £24.50, offers brightening, buildable coverage; and Estee Lauder Invisible Fluid Makeup, £27, delivers fresh radiance in a super-light texture.

Narrow down your needs. Do you 118

want to minimise pores, cover redness, or increase luminosity? Do you want a sheer or velvety finish? To help you consider your key requirements, check out the Clinique website, clicking on Foundation Finder—Meet Your Match. Or go to the counter for a foundation "fitting" and take away a 7m1 sample (five days' worth) of your recommended foundation.

3. Assess whether your undertone is cool or warm (not to be confused with your

skin shade or tone—you could be fair and warm or dark and cool). DIY analysis is not an exact science, but generally, if your complexion looks best when you're wearing a white shirt or silver jewellery, you're likely to be cooler. If a cream shirt or gold jewellery is more flattering, chances are you're warm.

Studying your undertone helps you develop a keener eye when you're looking at foundations. Your aim is to match your complexion exactly. Sure, you might be trying to hide redness or minimise shadows, but don't try to make your skin a shade you want it to be (like women in the Seventies who rushed to cover pasty legs with American-tan tights).

Neither are you buying something that looks pretty in the bottle. Pinky bases may appeal, but can have all the allure of calamine lotion, while those that are yellow-based are often more flattering.

Don't apply your usual foundation before you shop—though it can be useful to wear eye make-up and neutral lipstick.

Do take a hand mirror so you can walk to the window, or even go outside, to check trial shades in daylight.

Don't test on your hand—it's pointless.

Do apply lines of three "possibles" from your lower cheek down to the jawline, so you can begin to compare and contrast to hone in on the right shade.

Do look for a foundation that "appears to disappear".

Do talk to sales assistants—they usually have plenty of expertise to share.

Don't feel obliged to buy if you are unsure. You don't shell out for shoes that don't fit, so why for foundation?

FACT FICTION? Sally Penford, education manager, International Dermal Institute, rates the validity of these skincare "beliefs".

Your skin will age just like your mother's.

False. While we inherit certain characteristics, and chronological ageing happens to us all, factors such as lifestyle and exposure to UV light and environmental aggressors can influence how our skin appears as it ages by as much as 90 per cent.

Smoking ages the skin.

True. It can contribute to the breakdown of collagen, the development of wrinkles, sallowness and uneven tone. Yet another good reason to quit.

Your skin gets used to products, leading them to become less effective.

False. But your needs change over time, so it's a good idea to have regular skincare analysis to ensure you're using the correct products.

COOL Fr Serge Lutens' new L'Eau Froide, £60, is a fragrance designed to give the wearer a sense of a scented shiver.

Along with its mintiness, it contains Somalian frankincense to mirror the coolness of the inner recesses a church.

Distinctive without being overpowering.

Amen to that. ■ APRIL 2012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK

119

CONSUMER WITH DONAL MAcINTYRE

SMOOTH CRIMINAL Beware silver-tongued salesmen bearing insurance policies Have you been shopping in the high street for a new computer? If so, you'll know that any purchase is followed immediately by an offer of a comprehensive insurance policy. That's what happened to me recently—and, in the process, I received a sales pitch that was simply extraordinary.

"If you take out this coverage —which you don't have to pay for now—you can simply, more or less, exchange your computer every two years for a new one," the sales assistant told me.

I thought I'd heard it right, and pressed him further.

"So if I ring up and tell the insurance company I dropped my computer just before the end of the

coverage, I'll get a brand-new computer —and the price of the computer becomes the price of my insurance, if I nod and wink it through," I said.

"Exactly," said the assistant. I was being sold fraud.

It got worse. He said that he'd try to get me a deal on the insurance, then disappeared, only to return to say that, because I was on the TV and a

journalist, he could get me the coverage at half price. I said I'd think about it and left the store, shocked. What disturbed me most was the fact that my occupation not only didn't dissuade him—it positively encouraged him. What standing we journalists must have in the community!

#consumertips a OFTgov ,aconsumer_champion ,a)cccspressoffice a whichAction 120

11111

IF YOU DON'T ASK._ Donal answers your questions.

Please email queries to excerpts @readers digest. co.uk

••••

Donal MacIntyre is an investigative journalist and a former presenter of ITV's London Tonight

al% If my car's %111 satnav takes me the wrong way and costs me extra in petrol, can I sue the manufacturer for the extra cost?

A When you sign up to satellite navigation, you agree to take responsibility for the car and to use the system only as a

■••••....,

guide. The system's small print reminds you that the satnav is not fully automated and that, while it's a useful tool, it's not foolproof. As the driver, you're ultimately responsible for—and in control of—all aspects of the car. But it won't be that long before our cars will be steered by robots, and then we'll be able to sue. Until that time, the answer has to be no.

Can I get a

Q refund on a credit-card purchase put onto a different credit card or paid in cash? I was recently refused it —and accused of money laundering!

If you're entitled to a refund, by law you're entitled to it in cash. The store can't determine how you receive it.

But you may have signed some creditcard agreements where the store's arrangement with the card providers only allows a refund on the card used (an antifraud initiative).

However, there is always room for "discretionary common sense" if you have identification, the original receipt, and can argue politely. Where the original card is no longer valid, you should be able to get the refund put onto another card of the same name. At the very least, you could get vouchers.

A

CYCLE OF MADNESS I recycle *Sig& avidly— my everexpanding MI Of household has two recycling bins, and every effort is made to place waste in the right one. So imagine my surprise when, two weeks in a row, the recycling police went through them. They were doing an audit of my bins and gave me a slap on the wrists. My sin?

Putting kitchen towel and baby-milk cartons in the blue bin. They didn't meet local recycling requirements, even though both were made from recycled paper.

It turns out that there's a metal strip inside the carton.

But why the kitchen towel? Do we now need a PhD in paper and plastics to deal with consumables?

Time for some good sense to be recycled through our busy council offices! •

ik

APRIL 2 012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK

121

MONEY WITH JASMINE BIRTLES

PLANNING A TRIP? Get organised in advance and save yourself both hassle and money With your holiday booked, all that's left is to make sure you've got everything sorted before you leave. Here are the essentials: Travel insurance

Don't just accept the insurance offered by your tour operator. You can get much better rates by using comparison sites. If you travel at least twice a "Our policy only covers us for the trip to the airport..." year you should opt for a low-cost annual multi-trip policy rather than a single-trip Getting to the airport The rule of thumb policy. Go to readersdigest.co.uk/ when going to any UK airport is that the magazine for travel-insurance comparisons obvious option isn't always the cheapest, that will help you get the best price. so shop around to get the best fares. If Remember, though, that with travel you're using a taxi to get to and from the insurance, cheapest isn't always best. airport, book in advance and agree a price Check the conditions and the excess level rather than paying more at the airport, to make sure it offers the right coverage where taxis are very expensive. for your specific needs, whether it's winter If you're driving to the airport sports or automatic cover for your kids. yourself, you could pay up to four If you'll be in Europe, get a European times more than you need to if you Health Insurance Card—it gives you the park in the airport car park without same level of state medical care as -any prearrangement. Book online for good citizen in the EU countries, as well as Nordeals at places such as aph.com and way, Iceland, Liechtenstein and Switzerland. holidayextras.co.uk.

X

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(a Paullewismoney @Faisalislam @EvanHD @MSNDamian (cuPaulMasonNews a Glinner 122

READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2 012

Cancel deliveries If you have your milk or newspapers delivered to your home, make sure you cancel them before you go away, otherwise it's money wasted. It's also an invitation to burglars...

Photocopy your documents Copy your passport, driver's licence and credit cards in case of theft. Take a copy with you (stored separately from the original) and leave one at home with a friend or relative.

JAMESDARRELL/GETT YIMAGES

Get a prepaid card These are ideal for holiday spending.

They have no credit facility, so you can't lose hundreds of pounds as you might if someone stole your credit card. They can also help you to stick to a budget—only preload the card with the amount you want to spend.

a Pensionsmonkey

In this economic JARGON climate, shops are BUSTER so desperate to sell they're now 111.11211.11.1 willing to do This is a deals...sometimes contract that even in departcan be given a ment stores. That's value and then good news for you and me! I managed to traded on the get a 10% discount pretty much instantly at market. It could a shoe shop the other day, just by asking. be a share, 1. Do your research. Thank goodness for the a bond or a internet. Use a price-comparison service mortgagesuch as Kelkoo to see how cheaply you backed security, could get the item you want elsewhere, and and its value use that as a bargaining point. Print off the will depend on page and ask if your local shop can match it how safe it's or at least meet you halfway on price. considered to 2. Pick on the right person. Try to use shops be and how where the assistants are on commission, much income it because they just want to get a sale and generates. they're willing to give a discount.

The word can 3. Smile. Always be pleasant and don't take also mean things personally. something You're likely to get against which further if you're nice a loan is to deal with. If they "secured". A say no then you mortgage, for haven't lost anything. example, is a 4. Cash is king. Even "secured" loan in big shops if you because it's offer cash you're tached to more likely to get our home—the money off. Having notes visibly in your hand "security". If can help! you don't pay 5. See if you can get add-ons. Even if you the debt, the can't get money off, you should be able to lender can seize get things thrown in for free, such as the security— delivery or a free carrying case. Try it—you your home— might get a bargain even if not a discount.

0 HIGH STREET

a TimHarford

@Moneymagpie

and sell it to get their money back.

APRIL 2012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK

123

MONEY ...is start a new ISA. Yes, I know I said that last month was ISA month, but so THIS is this month...for MONTH... the new ISA season.

The ISA term runs from April 6 to April 5, and the earlier you put money in, the longer you have for it to grow. Most of us don't really think about it until February or March, so we lose all those months of potential growth.

So if you have some extra cash now, start putting a regular standing order into an ISA-wrapped product every week or month. This year you can put up to £11,280 into a stocks-and-shares ISA, or up to £5,640 into a cash ISA (and the rest into a stocks-and-shares ISA up to a total of £11,280).

Personally, as I've said before, I put my money into stocksand-shares ISAs because I invest for the long term and cash doesn't keep up with inflation over the years. Stocks-andshares ISAs are certainly riskier, but in the long run, if you pick the right ones, they generally do better than cash.

To find out how to choose an ISA to match your needs, go to readersdigest. co.uk/magazine.

THE ONE THING

"VINTAGE" CLOTHES ONLINE An awful lot can count as "vintage" nowadays. Suddenly "second-hand" doesn't exist, and it's all chic nostalgia and cool antique-wear. Even clothes from just a couple of decades ago are being snapped up, so now's the time to cash in!

Have a rummage Look around all the charity shops in your area. The most collectable items often lurk at the bottom of the pile. Also, keep going back to any shop you think might have hidden treasures. The good stuff goes fast and two visits a week is not excessive for an enthusiastic collector.

Choose the right material Avoid artificial fabrics as they're very difficult to keep clean. Look for items that are made of high-quality fabrics, such as wool or cotton, and don't be too worried if an item has a small hole, is missing a button or needs to be hemmed up—this can all be easily fixed.

Don't overspend There aren't any particular items of clothing that make the

most profit, because it depends how much you buy for, the condition, the label and how limited the availability of the item is.

If you're just starting out, try not to pay more than £20-£30 for any one item.

But with a bit of knowledge and a touch of good luck, finding a pair of £2 vintage shoes in a charity shop and selling them on for £40-£50 is definitely doable.

Cash in the attic Have a look through and see if by any chance you've got something in good condition that might possibly make you a profit.

Remember that even if you think an item is absolutely hideous, it might well be in fashion just now.

Keep an open mind about

styles, colours and fabrics because, unless you're already an expert, you can never be too sure if you've come across the holy grail of, for instance, stilettos.

Who to se!! to Try specialist sites and auctions.

Of course, the first place people think of is eBay (ebay. co.uk). However, collectors and fashion addicts are getting wise to the scammers and time-wasters populating eBay, and now often seek alternatives. One of these is eBid (ebid.co.uk), which, unlike eBay, won't charge you a listing fee.

Another option is SpecialistAuctions (specialistauctions.com), which has a specific section dedicated to vintage wear.

"Sandra is wearing British Heart Foundation, with accessories from the Sue Ryder collection" FOR MORE ON MONEY, GO TO RDMONEY.CO.UK

THIS MONTH'S BARGAIN Get 15% off fabulous flowers from Arena Flowers by using the code "READERS15" at the online checkout. Just go to arenaflowers. corn and use the code to get your discount. Valid until April 20.

DID YOU KNOW? According to research by Direct Line Travel Insurance, eight million people have tried to make a bogus claim. 15% inflated the value of their travelinsurance claims; 5% said they fabricated their claim; and 27% lied about the value of their lost sunglasses. ■ Jasmine Birtles is a personal finance writer and the founder of moneymagpie.com 125

FOOD WITH MARCO PIERRE WHITE

TIME FOR LAMB Celebrate spring with this delicious new twist on a classic dish A few months ago I said I'd choose brown chicken meat as my last meal. Cancel that.

I'm going for lamb instead—with one proviso. I must be allowed my last meal at the start of spring, just when everything is gloriously on the turn. Eating lamb at this time of year is to celebrate the promise of warmer weather.

I want to emphasise that roast leg of lamb isn't just for formal Sunday lunches with all the trimmings. This month's dish is the perfect light supper. The meat is the star of the show, supported by a rich cast of mint-infused peas and broad beans.

To get this right, you must invest in a probe thermometer. It'll only cost around E5 and is well worth it. A lot of people like their lamb pink, but I've gone for medium-pink because it will contrast beautifully with the creamy veg. And I've done without potatoes—there are already enough calories on the plate.

Some chunky bread on the side isn't a bad idea for wiping up the juices, but I'm trying to avoid that sort of thing.

Allowing the meat to rest for 40 minutes might seem a long time but it continues to cook. Whack it back in the oven before serving to make sure it's piping hot and savour every mouthful. Nail this and you'll never want a lamb kebab again.

Marco Pierre White, the "godfather" of modern British cooking, is a restaurateur and TV personality 126

READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2 012

ROAST LEG OF LAMB WITH MINTED PEAS AND BROAD BEANS (SERVES 4-6)

Two kilos of lamb, boned and rolled Olive oil Fresh rosemary 6 garlic cloves 750g peas 750g broad beans 500ml double cream Fresh mint, finely chopped 1. Seal the meat by rubbing olive oil all over it.

2. Stud it with the rosemary and garlic.

3. Place in an oven at 160C/320F/Gas Mark 3 until your thermometer reads

45C/113F when stuck into the centre of the meat (about two hours).

4. Take the lamb out of the oven and let it rest for 40 minutes.

5. Cook the peas and beans.

6. Warm the double cream until it's almost boiling, then add the mint.

Season with salt and pepper and leave to infuse for five minutes.

7. Add the cooked peas and beans.

Keep warm.

10. Flash-heat the meat for ten minutes in a hot oven just before serving.

11.Serve the sliced meat on top of the peas and beans. ■

MARCO'S Just before serving, pour some of the roasting juices from the pan directly over the plated meat

DRINK WITH NIGEL BARDEN

BRITISH BRUT Sparkling wines cross the Channel from Champagne to Kent Andrew Weeber is an interesting man. Born in Cape Town, he put himself through medical school in South Africa before moving to North Yorkshire to work as an orthopaedic surgeon.

In 2004 the father of five bought Gusbourne Estate500 acres of land in Kent, overlooking the coast.

He planted 51 acres with the classic Champagne grape varieties—Chardonnay, Pinot Noir and Pinot Meunier, determined that his sparkling wines made by the "methode Anglaise" would rival those of the Champenoise.

Weeber's grapes are handpicked by an army of pensioners—he regards retirees as the most reliable, and the older grannies as best of all! He feels that with global warming, the cool Kent climate is spot on for producing great sparklers.-The Gusbourne Estate Brut Reserve, Rosé and Blanc de Blancs are well made, classily packaged and justify their £20-odd price tag. Find out more at gusbourne.com.

HOME-MEAD MEAL Beer used to be brewed for its nutritional value—and a hearty ale still works as a great ingredient for more than just beer-battered fish and chips.

1

Before refrigeration, beer that went sour was often sold as malt vinegar.

A tart cherry "kriek" ale makes a great vinegar substitute in salad dressings —perfect paired with bitter chicory.

I

Salmon and trout steamed in foil on a bed of onions, lemons, cucumbers and dill, with stout poured over, is sublime.

I I

Mussels poached in wheat beer make a delicious change from wine—the sauce is very quaffable.

Follow the Bavarians by basting a smoked ham with a rich, nutty ale: "rauch" smoked beer is perfect.

All the beers you cook with can be drunk alongside the dish—but, as with wine, never cook with a beer you wouldn't happily drink. ■ Nigel Barden is food and drink presenter on Simon Mayo's show on BBC Radio 2, and chairman of the Great Taste Awards

@timAtkin @jollyolly @daveBroomwhisky @melissaCole @jancisRobinson 128

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WITH BOB FLOWERDEW

SEEING RED Fed up with tasteless shop-bought tomatoes? Then grow your own I want to grow some tomatoes outdoors again this year, but I'd like a couple of improvements —a bigger crop and better-tasting fruits. I grew Moneymakers last year as they were easily available.

Outdoors is always more risky than under cover—if you could make some sort of frame covered in plastic, you 'll get bigger, earlier crops and less disease.

Watering is crucial, especially if you grow in pots or bags. Growing in the ground is usually more reliable.

I find Ferline very disease4" resistant and a good cropper. Long recognised as the best-tasting tomato outdoors is Gardener's Delight, while some prefer Sweet Million. The French beefsteak Marmande series need a good summer, but they are very tasty.

A

130

I need a climber to go over an arch.

It can't be too vigorous as the arch is rather lightweight, and to help keep it upright I've fixed it against a fence with a seat underneath.

Unfortunately, many lovely climbers such as honeysuckles simply get too large too quickly, -nap although "vigorous" is not such a difficulty if you remember to cut back hard each year.

In that case, one of the large-flowered clematis (left) might suit,

A

ADIE BUSH/GETTY IMAGES

CULTURA/ZEROCREATIVES/GETTY IMAGES

RAPID GROWTH

or even a grapevine (Siegerrebe or Boskoop Glory would be good). Jasmines are mostly too vigorous, though the dark-red Jasminum beesianum is more compact. Climbing roses (not ramblers!) are a classic choice—although some are a bit "stiff", the thornless Zephirine Drouhin is perfect. Sweet peas or trailing nasturtiums might be handy fillers this first summer, and then you can plant your final choice in autumn.

A FRUITY TOUCH When is it too late to plant fruit bushes? I've been given enough materials to make a fruit cage, which I'll have finished by early summer so my crop can be protected.

It's still possible to plant potgrown plants as long as you water them regularly.

Bare-rooted plants might survive, but are normally better planted in autumn.

Anyway, you needn't rush to finish your cage as you shouldn't let plants crop in their first summer—they really need time to be established. One trick I use is to plant twice as many of the less-expensive ones such as strawberries and blackcurrants, allowing alternate plants to crop, removing them afterwards and leaving the others to grow on into bigger, stronger specimens.

AD IEBUSH; JOSON/ IMAG E B ANK; DOU GAL WATERS/ALL GETTY IMAGES

A

Bob Flowerdew is an organic gardener and a regular on BBC Radio 4's Gardeners' Question Time. Send your gardening questions to Bob at excerpts(eoreadersdigest.co.uk

Sow, sow, sow, spring-fresh foliage hoe, hoe, hoe, and flowers. And mow, mow, mow! then back to it— And in any time getting all the work left, stop, sit completed this down and just month sets the look at the verdant garden up for the beauty of the rest of the year.

EADER'S TIP Try using old tea bags to cover the holes in flowerpots before adding compost for new seedlings. These allow excess water to drain from the bottom of the pot without losing your soil. Choosing tea bags rather than pebbles has the advantage of adding some

extra nutrients to your pots.

Submitted by Jenny Harden, Wales ■

» Email your gardening tips and ideas— with photos, if possible—to excerpts@ readersdigest.co.uk. We'll pay £70 if we use them on this page.

APRIL 2012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK

131

WITH MARTIN HUGHES—GAMES

LISTEN CLOSELY... ...that bird chorus could relax you, stimulate you—and maybe cut crime, too!

The dawn chorus reaches its peak in April, but have you noticed birdsong in odd places? Sound guru Julian Treasure is on a mission to improve the sound of our world—where we work, when we travel and when we shop—and thinks that birdsong can make us feel more relaxed. It's also thought to boost shop sales by up to 30 per cent by making us stay longer, and, because it's associated with daybreak, can increase our mental alertness, too.

Now, an Julian supplied recordings of British intriguing University birds to be transmitted for five hours of Surrey project is examining our a day through speakers on the crimeresponse to different birds, finding out infested main strip of the Californian which properties of the song work on town of Lancaster. us and how that affects our bodies, CI em :y both physically and mentally. first reference EASTER The to rabbits in the BUNNIES UK is from 1176, when a warren was established on the Scilly Isles. In the 19th century, Augustus Smith—who owned most of Scilly—tried populating different islands with different-coloured rabbits.

(They're still said to be mainly white on St Helens, black on Samson and dun-coloured on St Marys. I'm off to the Scillies soon and will find out!)

Rabbits were a great delicacy for the rich at first, but as they started to spread, they became food (and fur) for everyone. Rabbit

was prized in the Second World War, and it's said that during the miners' strike of 1984-5 there wasn't a rabbit left in Yorkshire.

A rabbit's foot (preferably the left hind foot) is still considered a lucky charm, but you can't mention a rabbit in Portland, Dorset—call them "underground mutton" or "long-eared furry things" instead.

Rabbits were thought to leave their burrows in quarries before a rockfall, so seeing a rabbit often presaged disaster.

(c9yourrucksack @katehumble (ccchamiltonjames (allayaPlass 'athrisGPackham 132

READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2 012

DOUG AL WATERS/ GETTYI MAGES; JANEBURTON/NATUREPL.COM

-4 y

With the night sky thronging with literally millions of migrating birds, comes a new insight. Most of our cities or larger towns have peregrine falcons hunting and, in April, nesting in them (tower blocks, and especially cathedrals, are excellent nest sites). You might think they'd feed on scruffy town pigeons, but my friend Ed Drewitt has discovered that the chicks get a much more exotic diet—water rails, woodcock, little grebes, even rare corncrakes.

As there's no way those birds live in a city, the peregrines must be intercepting migrating birds and, remarkably, must be doing this at night! This was a huge surprise, but a combination of city lighting and the peregrines' incredible eyesight (most of their skull seems to be eye socket) makes it perfectly possible. ■

NIGHT OF THE HUNT

Martin Hughes-Games is a host of BBC2's Springwatch and

Autumn watch

DIGITAL WITH MARTHA LANE FOX

FRIENDS ONLINE Feeling lonely has a bigger impact on older people's life expectancy than smoking, top government adviser David Halpern declared earlier this year.

This shocking fact, given that loneliness is reaching epidemic levels in the UK—with 3.1 million over-65s going more than a week without seeing a friend or family member—has sparked quite a debate. Later retirement age is one idea for how the Government might respond, but I think we can make a change without waiting for new legislation.

My solution? Yup, you guessed it: the web. OK, I'm not mad enough to suggest that a modem is the magic-bullet antidote to loneliness, but I do, hand on heart, think that encouraging more older people to get online is the simplest and cheapest tool we can equip them with so they can rekindle old, or forge new, friendships.

One of my favourite jobs as Digital Champion is judging Age UK's Internet Champion of the Year Award. Looking through this year's shortlist, it was obvious that each entrant had been seized with evangelical fervour because of the way

the net had expanded their social circle.

One of this year's winners, Brenda, has a terrific story that's both totally unique and also very typical. Brenda felt desperately lonely after her husband's death. Finally, she logged on. Having quickly got to grips with all the prosaic things, Brenda amazingly managed to make contact with a GI who had stayed with her family during the Second World War. Striking up their friendship again after a gap of more than half a century is the kind of miracle the internet has made us almost take for granted—but which would have been almost unthinkable just a decade ago.

Reading the shortlist, what also struck me was how far from rocket science getting older people online is—all most of us need

@stephenfry @raceonline_2012 (a)brenthoberman a caitlinmoran a barackobama 134

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NANCY NEY/GETTY IMAG ES

The web is perfect for helping solve the growing problem of loneliness

is a wee nudge, or grampa by uploading a and a bit of help to picture and adding a caption find the nearest explaining why they're the place with free bee's knees. web access and The same people are behind training. internetbuttons.org, which I hope every This month is Digital Unite's loads sites and services onto a organisation or Spring Online Silver Surfers' super-simple personal url, individual working Day (April 23-27). Last year, so older internet newbies, who to tackle this 2,500 events took place up and might not be ready for Google, epidemic of down the country—everywhere don't drown in web content. loneliness among from pubs and hospitals to We haven't even begun over-65s embeds housing associations. The to think about the more web-training into organisation has helped innovative ways that their programmes 150,000 older people benefit technology can help us meet as a matter of from the web to date. For some of society's thornier course. It's crazy advice about this year's event issues—around health and that every go to springonline.org. social care, for example. I'd social-care setting There are lots of tools that love the UK to be world leader in the country make the web fun for older in this but, in the meantime, it's doesn't have a people, too. Historypin.com worth remembering how many residents' web lets you whizz through super-simple ways we can lounge. "Go ON 75,000 photos, videos, ..use to make life easier, better, Adopt a Care audio clips and stories from the Home" is a new birth of the scheme that camera to encourages schoolchildren to today—"pinned" to an amazing visit care homes digital world and share their IT map. Anyone can skills. Its makers, upload their own finerday.com, history to help have also set up plot the past, or ouryesterday.org make a collection for someone or more fun for each other for older people, by using the tools we they love. A recent carers, and families already have—often just by competition called alike—a great Give an hour putting them in places you "My Grandparents place to of your time to help wouldn't otherwise have Are Better Than start an inter net beginner. expected them. ■ Yours" allows getting Go to go -on.co.uk for young users an older Martha Lane Fox is the UK's more. Or to find a taster to big-up person digital champion and founder session near you, call of raceonline2012.org their granny online. freeph one 0800

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APRIL 2012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK

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MOTORING WITH CONOR McNICHOLAS I 'Am

SO LONG TO SAAB What happens to car companies when they disappear?

Car, model's own: Saab's classic 96 coupe from 1965

This January came the sad news that, after 65 years, the Swedish car company Saab, known for quirky-shaped cars and the occasional duck-egg yellow convertible, had ceased trading. The reasons were many, but essentially Saab was squished between the ever-expanding wheels of the global car business—it was just too small to survive alone.

Remembering the old swooped-backed Saab 96 from the Seventies or the rakish 900 Turbo got me thinking about other car brands of the past.

My father talks fondly of the enormous Armstrong-Siddeley his parents had when he was a child, affectionately called Mrs Hardcastle. Armstrong-Siddeley was formed in 1919 and made wonderfully luxurious cars until 1960. The name was eventually sold to Rolls-Royce in 1966.

The late Sixties saw a massive consolidation of UK manufacturing—great names such as Triumph got eaten up in the

creation of British Leyland in 1968. Land Rover, Jaguar and Mini eventually got out alive, but Austin, Morris and Wolseley are all now owned by Chinese company Nanjing Automobile Group.

As a car-nut country we're never short of rich businessmen buying defunct brands to kick-start—hence Invicta, maker of glamorous cars since 1925, but closed in 1950, is now back making the awesome 51 sports car. Likewise, the dandyish Jensen is back in a new form and reworking classic cars with modern underpinnings.

Thanks to the machinations of the global car business, other classic British marques have ended up all over the place.

Riley is now owned by BMW; Humber and Hillman are owned by Peugeot.

But if you do have a Saab, a reborn Saab Parts UK is still operating service departments to look after you—the details are at saab.co.uk. A second-hand Saab is now quite a clever bargain buy!

@mrchrisaddison (abobbyllew («DavidGArnold @chashallet @Krisanovich @gracedent 136

READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2012

ONE TO BUY

(about £15,000) I love Alfas, love the quirky little Mito and love Fiat's new TwinAir engine, so the Alfa MiTo TwinAir is an excuse to open the Prosecco! Fiat has had its innovative, frugal but powerful TwinAir Engine in the Fiat 500 for a while, but it's finally reached its premium brand—you can now have a stylish MiTo that's super-green, nippy and still a head-turner.

ONE TO SPOT ;GPC (£41,020) Audi's cracking little Al has made big C5c5 inE3E waves on the small-car scene offering large-car luxe in a cute package. Engines have ranged from frugal to perky but this new "whoa!" version is the ultimate sock-knocker-offer in the range. Only 333 are being made and just 19 coming to the UK, so it will be a rare spot.

ONE TO DREAM ABOUT

Ferrari California Handling Speciale (£156,406)

Ferrari's folding hard-top California was designed to appeal to those Hollywoodtypes who want Ferrari thrills, but with less white-knuckle feel. Purists thumbed their noses and this is Ferrari's stunning riposte: a lighter, tauter, edgier car—and just about the most desirable thing on the road right now.

ROAD RAGE! Wnat annoys you most on the road?

In its annual survey Admiral Insurance revealed that the biggest irritation is tailgating-79% say it raises their hackles.

Next, at 70%, is not indicating, while 64% deplore cutting up, and the same hate others not paying attention.

After that, it's hogging the middle lane (55%), driving too slowly (52%),

and not saying thanks when you give way (44%).

But speeding only troubles 30%, and racing at traffic lights or junctions just 22%. Fast is a problem, yes—but getting too close is clearly worse! • Conor McNicholas

@robfitzpatrick @charlesarthur ■&Matthewhussey

is the former editor of BBC Top Gear Magazine

APRIL 2 012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK 137

TRAVEL WITH KATE PETTIFER

MY GREAT ESCAPE Normally, I'd choose Adam discovers the cod-kissing, rum-swilling the wilderness over side of this quaint North American city the city. But there are exceptions.

St John's—capital of Newfoundland and Labrador, founded circa 1500—has a surprisingly contained feel, centred around its natural harbour. The lack CNZ of depressing city sprawl was a welcome distinction.

I spent a few days there on the way to see my sister in Nt friendly and the beer is neighbouring Nova Scotia. With plentiful; be prepared for a late its brightly painted "heritage" one! One of my highlights was houses, quiet parks, statues and murals hiking up Signal Hill, which offers great of everything from musicians to Winston views of the harbour, Cabot Tower, and Churchill, the city offers something the quaint fishing village of Quidi Vidi. On unexpected at every turn. For antique my last day I went out onto the Atlantic— emporiums, tearooms and galleries, head ISLAND LIFE uphill to explore. But there's really only Discover the World has a Newfoundland one destination for a big night out: Discovery self-drive package from £1597: George Street is said to have the most 15 nights' accommodation, 12 breakfasts, pubs per square foot in North America. personalised itinerary and some excursions The live music is loud, the locals are (01737 214291: discover-the-worid.comk)

@fcotravel @huffposttravel agreentraveller a captgreybeard ,asmithhotels 138 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2 012

AD AM MILL WARD ( 2)

Adam Millward from Dorset found a new favourite in Newfoundland

St John's is meant to be seen from the water. We also saw a variety of jellyfish, seabirds and Cape Spear— the most easterly point—before taking part in the famous "Screech In" ceremony to become an honorary Newfoundlander.

This involves chucking back Screech rum and "kissing the cod", which only one of our group of ten happily did (the hesitant codkissers could kiss the derriere of a toy puffin instead).

Fish and chips will never be quite the same again!

Send us a photo of your favourite holiday, tell us briefly what made it so special, and if we include it on this page we'll pay you £70. See address on page 4.

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Walking-break experts On Foot Holidays have introduced an Amalfi route—Along the Siren Coast—and claim it's the only itinerary that covers the entire peninsular coastline, including a lesser-walked stretch from Positano to Sant' Agata sui Due Golfi—steep at first, but worth it for the views of Sorrento and Positano. April-Nov, from £710pp, including seven nights' posh b&b and route info; travel extra (01722 322652; onfootholidays.co.uk).

The World Shakespeare Festival kicks off this month, with everything from foreign productions of the Bard's plays at the Globe to Shakespearean libretti at the Royal Opera House. Plays will run until the end of the year in London, Stratfordupon-Avon, Birmingham, Newcastle and Gateshead. And there's a programme of events such as director talks and family workshops. More information at worldshakespearefestival.org.uk For a stand-out getaway, try Montenegro.

New summer flights and a brand-new tour operator have brought this picturesque country closer. ATOL-bonded Explore Montenegro has 40 properties, and direct Gatwick-Tivat flights with newly relaunched Montenegro Airlines mean they're only around two hours away. Seven-night packages start at £540 for two, including car hire and accommodation (020 7118 1002; exploremontenegro.com).

sleepinginairports.net This slightly bizarre community website makes for intriguing browsing. Flight delayed?

Then this may be just the site to surf. It features the best and worst airports to sleep in, and useful tips for beginners. There are also guides to paid-entry airport lounges, lists of the terminals with camping beds, airport hotels around the world, and tales of good and bad airport-based adventures. ■ APRIL 2 012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK 139

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Readers Digest

APRIL FICTION REVIEWED BY A N WILSON EXTRACTS FROM OUR FAVOURITE NEW RELEASES GROWING UP WHITE IN SOUTH AFRICA AND THE MEN WHO RAN ACROSS AMERICA BOOKS THAT CHANGED MY LIFE: CHARLIE HIGSON

EDITED EY-1415 - 66OKE- EDITOR JAME.

April fiction Silver: Return to Treasure Island

by Andrew Motion (Jonathan Cape, £12.99) Jim Hawkins, the boy-hero of Treasure Island, has turned into an old bore running a pub in the Thames Estuary. His son Young Jim, a wonderfully observant lad, has grown up with tales of Long John Silver and the pirates—and of his dad returning with the loot. He's then visited by a fascinating halfCaribbean girl called Natty,

A N Wilson finds melodrama, thrills and a daring sequel among the month's new novels

a tomboy who wants to recover the remaining treasure. She is none other than the daughter of Long John himself, now wizened, blind and living in London.

Silver is a tremendous novel. The descriptions of the voyage stand comparison with Patrick O'Brian, and the plot is unputdownably exciting.

Yet the truly spectacular thing is the touching relationship between Young Jim and Natty. Only a brave man would dare to cap Robert Louis Stevenson, but the former Poet Laureate is a great writer, equal to the task.

The Day of the Lie

by William Brodrick (Little, Brown, £12.99) Father AnseIm, a barrister turned monk, has been William Brodrick's main

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character for four novels now, including the bestselling The Sixth Lamentation. Here, he comes to the aid of his old friend John—a journalist— and RO2a, a mysterious octogenarian heroine of the resistance in communist Poland. The story, which unravels layer by layer, hops between three key times: the 1950s when I:262a was arrested for befriending a writer exposing the Stalinist horrors; 1982, when John

YOUR TWITTER CHOICE OF HIDDEN LITERARY GEMS David Quantick, @quantick. Two very different books you should read but haven't: Peter Tinniswood, The Stirk of Stirk and Marc Behm, The Eye of the Beholder.

Jill Mansell, COillMansell. My gem is Jerrard Tickell's Odette.

I want it to be read by a whole new generation.

142 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2 012

Neil Gaiman, @nealhimself.

The late John M Ford—amazing author, underrated in his lifetime. His book The Dragon Waiting is a classic.

covered the Solidarity protests and was the victim of a successful smear campaign; and nowadays, when the patient, quizzical monk tries to get at that elusive thing, the truth.

This is a wistful novel, in which you're sometimes asked to consider propositions from Wittgenstein. But it's also one of the best-constructed and fastest-paced thrillers I've read in ages.

Life! Death! Prizes!

by Stephen May (Bloomsbury, £11.99) Stephen May's first novel Tag won plenty of plaudits—and this one deserves similar acclaim.

Its difficult theme is two half-brothers coming to terms with the violent death of their mother. Can Billy, 19, cope with bringing up six-year-old Oscar? Will he avoid the heavy hand of the law and social workers? Will Oscar's hateful dad succeed in

Jennifer Lucy Allan, Jennlfer_A. Naïve. Super by Erlend Loe. And anything by Dorothy Whipple.

snatching the little chap from his loving brother?

The relationship between the boys, their chaotic social routines and Oscar's mood swings are all done with a deft touch— and so is Billy's obsession with his mother's killer, which starts to undermine his role as a carer. The story is beautifully put together, with a strong cast and, not least, an extremely satisfying ending.

Secrets of the Tides by Hannah Richeli (Orion, £14.99) The Tides in Hannah Richell's forceful debut are a family. After a dramatic opening with a young

Sam Leith, @ questingvole. The

Hearing Trumpet

by Leonora Carrington deserves to be better known.

woman throwing herself off Westminster Bridge, we fast-forward 16 years to the present, where Dora is living in semi-bliss with a sculptor. On finding she's pregnant, Dora knows she must tell her family—and so unearth all over again the secrets that, among much else, broke up her parents' marriage and made her sister throw herself off that bridge.

The revelations of what happened, and the burden of guilt the Tides carry, are powerfully evoked in a classy melodrama with very well-realised characters.

Once you start reading, you'll be hooked. e

Also look out for...

Mark Billingham, @ MarkBillingham. The

Death of Sweet Mister by Daniel Woodrell.

Lynn Barber, @lynnbaba.

Bird Brain by Guy Kenaway.

APRIL 2012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK 143

RD RECOMMENDED READ: 1

The past is a foreign country To a white boy growing up in the 1960s, apartheid seemed perfectly normal. But then the truth began to dawn...

DONALD MCRAE

Donald McRae is a respected journalist, an acclaimed non-fiction author and the only person to have won the William Hill Sports Book of the Year twice. Now, he turns directly to the one thing that has, he says, shaped all of his writing: the fact that he was born and brought up in apartheid South Africa.

In the early chapters McRae does a beautiful job of seeing the country as it was through a child's eyes—which is to say that everything seemed perfectly normal (although he was a bit annoyed by the ban on the Beatles and television). There are some moments of unease, such as when six whites beat up a black man near the McRae home—and the black man is arrested. Even so, it's only with the isolation of his beloved sporting teams that some sort of penny starts to drop.

Once McRae reaches adolescence, this process accelerates. On the one hand, he's subjected to military training and propaganda that begin to seem obviously misguided. On the other, there's the news of police massacres in Soweto. By the time he's a student, McRae is becoming a full-blown radical, and heading for a showdown with his father about his determination to refuse to do his two years' compulsory national service.

One of the centrepieces in the book is a harrowing account of the torture of some of McRae's fellow student radicals. Yet, just as the police reaction to student protests in Soweto served to radicalise many of the black parents, this undisguised brutality also educated many white ones, including McRae's own—who end up as perhaps unlikely heroes.

At times, the book is as painful to read as it clearly was to write. But even then its undoubted power is always combined with a more reflective intelligence.

And here, from Chapter One, is the way things once were:

UNDER OUR SKIN

144 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2012

RD EXCLUSIVE DONALD McRAE'S CHOICE OF THE BESTEVER BOOKS ABOUT SOUTH AFRICA Disgrace by 1 "I Coetzb

In this bleak, icy novel, South Africa's greatest writer lays bare the country's enduring conflict with stark power and precision.

My Traitor's Heart

by Rian Malan Malan returns home, venturing deep into South Africa's dark, violent heart, and his own infamous family's past.

Internationally acclaimed in

, (C C

The Holden picked up speed as we went looking for a black boy. On that Saturday morning in the South African spring of 1966 I rode upfront, next to dad, as we headed towards the coal dumps where the mining boys had been waiting since dawn. On weekends they tried to pick up extra work in pretty white gardens like ours. I thought the black miners were lucky to become garden boys for a day.

'Breathe in deeply,' dad murmured after reminding me that we lived in the most beautiful country in the world. 'Doesn't it make you feel good to be alive?'

Hundreds of natives waited on the dirt strips lining the tarred road. My father knew the kind of garden boy he wanted and so, having leaned out of his window, he made his familiar cry: John!'

As a smiling black boy ran across the road I asked dad a question: Why were all black boys called John?

'He's not called John,' dad said. 'It's just better to call him "John" than "boy": The miner reached our car. 'Hello, master,' he said.

'Hello, John,' dad answered. 'You work hard, John?'

John nodded eagerly. 'Yes, master...'

'OK,' dad said, opening the back door.

John needed a good wash. But I knew dad would never invite him to use our shower. Boys like John knew their place—just like

This land is their land: daily humiliations for black people in the Transvaal of Donald McRae's childhood

EJ OR/GETTY IMAGES

Woo-hoo,

Under Our Skin: A White Family's Journey through South Africa's Darkest Years by Donald McRae is published by Simon and Schuster at £20

APRIL 2 012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK 145

Later that day I watched Maggie make John his lunch. She cut off the thick ends of a brown loaf and smeared them with peanut butter—just the way a black boy liked it. I carried the plate out while Maggie followed with water. She said John would be very thirsty after working hard in the baking sun. 'Thank you, baasie [little master]; he said.

I sat under the shade of an apple tree. John had switched on the sprinkler and our dog Shandy put her furry face close to the tiny holes. Her face became wet as she barked and bit the water.

I might have laughed had John not started chuckling first. For a moment I almost joined him until I remembered the difference between us. I was white. He was just a native. Shandy was my dog and he was laughing at her.

'You're the stupid one,' I shouted, as I pulled my shivering dog away. In the cool of the kitchen I told Maggie that John was a stupid boy.

Once, when I was smaller, I'd run screaming into the kitchen because red ants had marched COVER STAR RUPERT into my underpants and bitten PENRY-JONES'S favourite hard. Maggie had stripped me and book? Tennis ace Andre wiped every last ant off my bare Agassi's autobiography bottom. And then she had dried Open—"an amazing my tears and sliced some chunks insight into of peeled apple to keep me sweet. both the 'His name is not John,' Maggie man and the sport said quietly. 'His name is...' he played" She said an African name so quickly I could not understand her.

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1989, it still resonates today.

To a Dubious Salvation by Etienne Leroux An Afrikaans writer of imagination and subtlety, Leroux was admired by Graham Greene, but neglected by the wider world.

This trilogy in particular is original and intriguing.

Triomf by Marlene van Niekerk A huge, riotous novel that draws us deep into the poor white world of the Benade family as they await South Africa's first democratic elections with bewildered trepidation.

Dancing Shoes is Dead by Gavin Evans A book partly about the Soweto boxer Jacob "Dancing Shoes" Morake—but also about Evans's own journey into the political underground.

The two worlds collide with poignant force.

CHRI SFL OYD

From left: Heather, Jess, Ian and Don McRae in 1966

our servant Maggie understood she had to scrub our bathroom without ever standing beneath the shower's jets of hot water or stretching out in our clean white bath. We could sack her on the spot if she dared be so cheeky. But Maggie was a good girl. She washed herself in a metal tub outside her room at the bottom of our garden.

RD RECOMMENDED READ: 2

Cross-country runners••• ...except that the country they crossed was America. Twice. The stirring tale of two heroic athletes On March 4,1928,199 men set off from Los Angeles for one of the most gruelling sporting events in history.

"The International Trans-Continental Foot Race" to New York—first prize $25,000—meant running more than 40 miles every day for nearly three months. Known to the press as the "Bunion Derby", the race was organised by C C Pyle, promoter and all-round chanter.

The two main British contenders couldn't have been more different. Arthur Newton was a patrician pipe-smoking 44-yearold who'd been living in Southern Africa and hadn't started running seriously until he was 40—but already held the 50-, 60and 100-mile world records. Peter Gavuzzi, 22, was a workingclass south Londoner. Even so, the two struck up a friendship that lasted through Pyle's even tougher race from New York to LA the following year and on until Newton's death in 1959.

Mark Whitaker's calmly written but still astonishing book makes great set pieces of the two races. It continues to amaze when Newton and Gavuzzi earn money during the Depression with a series of extraordinary endurance feats. As professionals, they were frozen out of British athletics almost completely.

Later on, their lives turned more melancholy, with Newton obsessively embittered by the hypocrisy of amateurism and Gavuzzi increasingly lonely. In their final years, though, both men were given at least some of the respect they deserved.

In this extract, Whitaker describes the end of the second transcontinental race in Los Angeles:

a broadcaster ar historian. After a career as an academic, he joined the BBC and has presente BBC2's sports series On the Lim and Radio 4's File on 4. This is his first book

, If there was any one day that Peter Gavuzzi would have turned over in his mind in the solitude of his Wiltshire retirement cottage, it was Sunday, June 16,1929. Together with the remaining band of Bunioneers [as the racers were nicknamed] he woke up four miles from Wrigley Field—the stadium where the climax to 78 days of running was to be staged, with a classic

(( dr

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26-mile marathon. The • fi runners were told that because the streets would be so crowded, the four miles to the stadium were not part of the race.

Once everyone was there, the marathon would start.

Gavuzzi held a ten-minute lead over Johnny Salo, and was entirely confident of overall victory. His year of dedicated training had, it seemed, paid off. The ship's steward from south London was on the verge of becoming a very rich man.

This is how Gavuzzi remembered it almost 50 years later: 'As I was coming along, there was a train and the gates went down and unfortunately it was one of those long trains and took five or six minutes to go by.' This was an inconvenience, no doubt, but Gavuzzi would have realised that it was precisely because of this sort of eventuality that the journey to the stadium was not to count for the race.

However, when Gavuzzi finally arrived at Wrigley Field he found that the marathon had started without him and Johnny Salo was already on his third lap. Gavuzzi had to attempt to catch Salo in front of a packed house of more than 10,000 spectators, all cheering the possibility of an unexpected American victory. C C Pyle might have got many things wrong during the epic journey across America, but he had certainly got it right on the final night. He had manipulated a stunningly exciting finish.

For a brief spell Gavuzzi did manage to overtake Salo, but by then it must have become clear to him that his defeat was being stage-managed, that Pyle had decided he wanted an American winner. The management had gone back on their word: the four miles to Wrigley Field were to be considered part of the race. 'We had run this entire race of 3,635 miles,' Peter Gavuzzi was II to recall, 'and I had lost it by two minutes and 47 seconds:

The ship's steward from south London was on the verge of becoming a very rich man

148 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2012

Only 3,000 miles to go, lads: the 1929 Transcontinental runners gather around race organiser C C Pyle's luxury motor-cruiser.

(The runners stayed in tents or cheap hotels)

Running for Their Lives: the Extraordinary Story of Britain's Greatest Distance Runners by

Mark Whitaker is published by Yellow Jersey Press on April 5 at £17.99

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Pop. POP.1280 Books that 1280 Changed my Life Comedian and author Charlie Higson found fame writing and performing with Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse in The Fast Show. He's also written 14 novels, including five about James Bond's schooldays at Eton.

The Young Bond series is reissued on April 5.

The Gormenghast Trilogy by Mervyn Peake I was 14 when I read this, and living a very conventional life near Sevenoaks, Kent. My father would commute off to work in the City with a bowler hat, like in a classic Monty Python sketch. We lived in the countryside, and I had a rather solitary existence, walking through the woods with the dogs the whole time. I read and wrote a huge amount. I loved books that took me out of my rather mundane life into different worlds. Gormenghast is so perfectly described—a vast Gothic castle in which there are so many characters that teenagers identified with, such as the disaffected Steerpike.

The perfect fantasy novel.

by Jim Thompson A fellow student at the University of East Anglia switched me on to American crime novels, a genre I'd previously looked down on. I'm not interested in detective stories where you try to work out whodunnit by following lots of clues1 like to get inside the mind of the killer and, in this sinister work about a small-town sheriff, you do just that.

Jim Thompson is the greatest of them all when it comes to darkness. He had a very troubled life and was an alcoholic—yet he was also a very fine writer. I don't think anyone before or since has written so well about the effect of the fragmented mind.

From Russia with Love by Ian Fleming

AND YPARADI

It was a great privilege to write about James Bond's teen years in my Young Bond series.

This is the first Bond novel I ever read and it's an excellent starting point. Fleming's books are insanely readable and, after I read this one, I did that obsessively male thing where I went back to the very first—Casino Royale—and worked my way through the whole sequence in the correct order. Fleming wrote the template for plot-based action-adventures. • As told to Eugene Costello

APRIL 2012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK 151

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Test-your-knowledge Crossword ACROSS 1 Makes an assertion of a right (6) 4 Political murderer (8) 9 Instrument for measuring a quantity (5) Nominee (9) Small hotel (3)

17

Chemically inactive (5)

18

19 24

In sincerity (5)

25 ■

Visualise (7) Imaginary water nymph (7)

28

Twosome (3) Pull a face (7)

30

Breathing hole (7) Tubes (5) Hard, dark wood (5)

31

32

Man's title (3) 29 Inflammatory disease of the joints (9)

Cocktai of vermouth and gin (7)

30 Inuit dwelling (5)

Self-righteous (13)

31 In bondage (8)

Aircraft pilot (7)

32 Items of bed linen (6)

Kitchen utensil used for spreading (7)

DOWN

21 Driving force (7)

Destitute (5)

1 Mixing together different elements (9) Insect's feeler (7)

Rug (3) 18 Marked by uncontrolled emotion (9)

Green mint-flavoured liqueur (5, 2, 6) Precious stone (3)

22 Country, capital Vienna (7) 24 Fashionable (7) 25 Steadfastness (7) Quiet (5)

Find the answers in next month's issue, or online now at readersdigest.co.uk/magazine ACROSS: 1 Armhole 5 Radical 9 Sinus 10 Utensil 11 Preserve 12 Copied 14 Sash 15 Luminesce 17 Medicinal 19 Opus 22 Pining 23 Typecast 26 Miracle 27 Tiara 28 Enclose 29 Theatre

DOWN: 1 Aesop 2 Manners 3 Ousted 4 Equivalent 5 Reef 6 Discount 7 Celsius 8 Laundress 13 Employment 14 Semaphore 16 Scenario 18 Dynamic 20 Peasant 21 Beetle 24 Tease 25 Ache

CROSSWORD SUPPLIED BY PUZZLE PRESS LTD, QUESTIONS SUPPLIED BY MENSA. FOR FURTHER DETAILS OF MENSA 10 TESTING, VISIT MENSA.ORG.UK

154 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2012

Beat the Puzzleman! brainbox such as the Puzzleman only takes 20 minutes to answer these five questions. But can you, a mere mortal, match his standard?

1 What number should

replace the question mark?

00 0000 2 When each of the words

below is rearranged, one of them can be used to suffix all the others to give five longer words. What are they?

PRISE TEND

STIR

VIE OR RISE

4 A cycling group are on a five-day expedition.

On the first day they cycle two-fifths of the total distance. The next day they cycle one quarter of what was left. The following day they cycle two-fifths of the remainder and on the fourth day half of the remaining distance. The group now have 18 miles left. How far have they cycled?

If 8463975 spells out LOBSTER, 5378 spells out BOLT and 3517 spells REST, what does 516 spell out?

The first correct answer we pick on March 30 wins E50!*

Email excerpts@ readersdigest.co.uk Rearrange the following letters to give two eight-letter words. What are they?

DEIOPRSV

PRI7F )UE (answer will be published in the May issue) A nswer to March's

.estion: Dingy and dinghy And the winner is...

David Boulter from Wigston, Leicester

3 Take one letter from each sector to give the name of an Italian city.

Take another letter from each sector to give the name of a Canadian city.

The remaining letters will give the name of a city in Mexico. What are the three cities?

The small print Entry is open only to residents of the UK, Channel Islands, Isle of Man and Republic of Ireland aged 18 or over. It is not open to employees of Vivat Direct Limited (t/a Reader's Digest), its subsidiary companies and all other persons associated with the competition. ■

So how did you score? A point for every correct answer Here's the Puzzleman's verdict: 0-2 "April fool. Hang your head in shame!"

3-4 "A steady improver. Keep up the good work!"

5 "Top of the class. Give yourself a gold star!"

'clnod 9 HDV3 KUM 3NO AS 535V3dD3a 2131131 HDV3 JO 3111VA 3H1—.1.015 '53111,1 0211H1 V ONV SLIP '0D-indvov ONV NOIN01.103 '3DN3d0- 3 5 1N3015321 ONVIN3007:1'1N3Q1A3 'IN301815 '11130153dd Z 'OZ S1V101 3101,1V181 31-11 dO 3015 HDV3-3N01 :S2I3MSNV

APRIL 2012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK 155

Laugh!

WIN £70 FOR EVERY READER'S JOKE WE PUBLISH. EMAIL EXCERPTS@ READERSDIGEST.CO.UK OR GO TO FACEBOOK.COM/READERSDIGESTUK 1 I went fishing at the weekend and there was this chap splashing about in the middle of the lake shouting, "I can't swim!

I can't swim!"

"It's OK, mate," I shouted, pointing at a nearby sign. "It says no swimming anyway!"

1 I've just slipped on a banana skin. To be honest, it doesn't really fit me.

I No fly tipping? What if one of them gives exceptionally good service? Comedian Milton Jones, by Twitter I When I was a child, I wanted to be a surgeon.

But apparently I was too young. the 1HtE3rne:Se y.n

I I got my head scanned, then they shoved a camera up my nose and took pictures of my throat. I'm starting to suspect they don't like me in Jessops.

Comedian Simon D Heaven. by Twitter

"In theory, the idea of GPs controlling their own budget is excellent, but..."

I A FARMER'S TRAILER WAS STRUCK BY A LORRY. IN

court, the haulage firm's lawyer grilled the farmer over his claim for injury compensation. "At the scene, didn't you say to the policeman that you were fine?" said the lawyer.

The farmer replied, "Well, I'll tell you what happened.

I'd just loaded my prize cow Bessie into the trailer, and began driving when this huge lorry came through a red light and hit us. I was thrown to one side and Bessie to the other. I was badly hurt, and didn't want to move.

"But I could hear Bessie groaning, and knew she was in terrible pain. Shortly afterwards, an armed policeman happened upon us. He could hear Bessie moaning, so he went over to her. He took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then he came to me and asked, `How are you feeling?' Now, what would you have told him?"

156 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2012

I I've got a meeting with Sean Connery this morning to discuss racket sports. Not sure what time, but I think it's about tennish.

1 When you're in a long queue, why is it that, when someone comes and stands behind you, you feel so much better? i- , London

Searching for stuff online when you're drunk is called "beer Googles" Seen at funnyon facebook.com

1 A woman returning from a fishing trip with her husband told her troubles to a neighbour. "I did everything wrong again," she said. "I talked too loudly, I used the wrong bait, I reeled in too soon...and I caught more than he did." Ken Mumford, Swindon 1 Research shows that six out of seven dwarves aren't happy.

Melanie. Lodge, West Yorkshire ►

My husband thinks I'm crazy. But I'm not the one who married me!

LITTLE EPIPHANIES #12:

Comedian Alun Cochrane inhabits a daydreamy world of surreal realisations and whimsy. This is his monthly moment of revelation We're incredibly blasé about technology. I recently saw a man at a comedy club walk towards me with six pints balanced on his laptop. How relaxed are we with expensive, complicated gadgetry that we'll use it as a transporting ledge for lager?

The satnav is a great anomaly. People get fed up with the terror that occurs when it falls off the windscreen at them, and eventually just balance it in the ashtray, or demand a passenger hold it. I love that gap between human ambition and execution. Humans have successfully fired satellites into space just to give us individualised directions on where we're going—amazing! Yet the bit where we stick it to the car windscreen...we're still not 100 per cent on that. "Leave us be—we have the Blue Tack team, the Sellotape guys and even some fans of Spider-Man all working round the clock on this!"

For many of my childhood years, we watched a TV with a coat hanger where the aerial should have been. The youth of today will never know the joy of standing behind a grown-up shouting, "There, there, stop! No, too far, it's fuzzy again!"

Will the future equivalent be my son saying, "The plasma TV's broken," and me replying, "OK...shall we try yogurt?"

APRIL 2 012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK

157

AN ALTERNATIVE TAKE ON ANGER

We asked celebrities what really riles them for our feature "It Makes Me Mad!" (p78). Chav-tastic comedian Lee Nelson gave a tongue-in-cheek variation on the theme...

"Speed cameras wind me up so much. They're meant to make the roads safer but the stats actually show the opposite. If the government is serious about slowing people down, they should replace each camera with two well-fit birds stood at the roadside snogging each other. I'd happily slow down for that."

444.;riii-

How Lee calms down "I take my two dogs, Benson and Hedges, for a long walk. It's relaxing 'cos I drive and tour natbmAede, See k?eft?ison..c,.,.,-1 they run next to the car." Lee currenfly

KIPPING KITTIES Sometimes, cats contort into amazing positions.

And then they fall asleep. Seen at buzzfeed.com

158

READERSDIGEST.CO.UK APRIL 2012

1 I'm not being condescending— I'm too busy thinking about far more important things that you wouldn't understand.

Comedian Jimmy Carr 1 Dear Maths, Please stop asking us to find your X. She's not coming back, and don't ask Y, either!

Kamila Dura (aged 11), Hertfordshire I Children do indeed make a difference to a home—but it can usually be repaired.

Paul Smith, Southport 1 A woman walks into an optician's to return a pair of glasses.

"So, what's the problem, madam?" asks the assistant.

"I bought these for my husband," says the woman, "but he's still not seeing things my way."

Grahame Jones, East London

60-Second Stand-Up Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Keith Farnan FAVOURITE ONE-LINER? A Woody Allen line: "I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam. I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me."

BEST JOKE YOU'VE WRITTEN? Well, I don't really want to say about one of my jokes, "You're my favourite!" The others would just be there going, "What about us?" I do have a line that gets me out of trouble, though. If a joke goes badly, I say, "Well, I like to practise tantric comedy, so there's no immediate satisfaction."

Keith Farnan FUNNIEST THING THAT'S HAPPENED TO is at the Soho YOU? One time, before I started doing stand-up, Theatre from I was sitting with a friend on a bench with my hands April 12-14. in my pockets. Somebody told a joke and I laughed For details, so hard that I fell backwards, with my hands still in see soho theatre.com my pockets, and bounced on my head. So a gag nearly killed me before I even started comedy—and there are plenty of jokes that have had goes at me since...

FAVOURITE TV SHOW? It's got to be Blackadder—the entirety of the four series. It's just flawless. I really can't pick out a particular moment I love, because it's all so great— but I think the character of Blackadder himself is a genius creation. All the writing for him is perfect, and the way that sometimes you think he's got everything in control, and then he hasn't... It's just great.

FINALLY, WHO'S YOUR COMEDY INSPIRATION? Dermot Morgan, pre-Father Ted. Everybody knows him from the show, but they don't realise that, before that, he was an incredible political stand-up in Ireland. When he was much younger, he was on the radio a lot, and my dad listened to him often. ■ APRIL 2012 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK 159

Beat the Cartoonist!

WIN £100 AND A SIGNED ILLUSTRATION

FEBRUARY'S WINNER

And it's a score for the cartoonists! Len Wiwkerm' Think of a witty caption for this picture and you could beat the experts at their own game. The three best suggestions will be posted on our website in mid-April alongside an anonymous caption from our professional cartoonist. Visitors can choose their favourite—and if your entry gets the most votes, you'll receive £100 and a framed copy of the drawing. Submit to captions @readersdigest.co.uk or the address on page 4 by April 10. Enter and vote online at readersdigest.co.uk/ caption. We'll announce the winner in our June issue. ■

"I must say, your new loo is coming along really nicely" . off contenders all pos by a huge margin. Mayt 2012's scoreboard will be a little less one-side than it was last year?

SCOP ARO READERS CARTOONISTS

IT'S A RIGHT ROYAL ISSUE! We raided our archives— and uncovered a treasure trove of fascinating insights into the life and times of the Queen throughout her 60-year reign.

Don't miss next month's Diamond Jubilee special!

teo

Follow us at Cltwittercom/rdigest. Like us at II facebook com/readersdigestuk

Old Jewellery Appeal

Leading the fight against

Alzheimer's dementia Society

Turn your unwanted jewellery into a precious gift Do you have a bracelet with a broken clasp, a necklace you never wear, even a single earring or cufflink? Any gold, silver or costume jewellery is valuable to us. Send us your unwanted jewellery and we'll recycle it to raise much needed funds to support people with dementia, their families and their carers. The Old Jewellery Appeal has so far raised over €750,000 to improve the lives of those affected by dementia. Every single donation makes a difference.

Call us, or go online, and we'll send you one of our special Freepost padded envelopes. Alternatively, you can send your donation directly to the Freepost address below.

Get your Freepost Jiffy bag Visit our website alzheimers.org.uk/jiffy

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