Online safety A guide for parents and carers
esafety.gov.au/parents
Online safety for parents and carers As parents and carers you know your child better than anyone and have the best opportunity to support and guide them to have safer online experiences. This guide covers some of the key online safety issues for young people and includes a range of practical tips and advice on what to do if things go wrong. You can also find a list of important services that can offer extra support.
eSafety.gov.au/parents
Cyberbullying Cyberbullying is the use of technology to bully a person or group with the intent to hurt them socially, psychologically or even physically.
I think my child is being bullied Your child may not tell you if they are experiencing bullying behaviour online because of a fear it might make things worse for them or they may lose access to their devices and the internet.
What does cyberbullying look like? Examples of cyberbullying include: abusive texts and emails hurtful messages, images or videos imitating, excluding or humiliating others online spreading nasty online gossip and chat
creating fake accounts in someone’s name to trick or humiliate them.
Online bullying can have a devastating impact on young people, whose online life is a key part of their identity and how they interact socially.
Signs to watch for: being upset after using the internet or their mobile phone
changes in personality, becoming more withdrawn, anxious, sad or angry appearing more lonely or distressed unexpected changes in friendship groups a decline in their school work changes in their sleep patterns avoidance of school or clubs a decline in their physical health becoming secretive about their online activities and mobile phone use.
Cyberbullying What can I do? Talk to your child about cyberbullying before it happens. Together you can work out strategies to address any potential issues and reassure them you will be there to support them. If your child is experiencing cyberbullying Listen, think, stay calm — talk to them about what
happened, try to remain open and non-judgemental, ask them how they feel and ensure they feel heard. Collect evidence — it is a good idea to collect evidence,
such as screenshots, of the bullying behaviour, in case you need to report it later on.
Block and manage contact with others — advise your
child not to respond to bullying messages and help your child block or unfriend the person sending the messages. Report to site or service — many social media services, games, apps and websites allow you to report abusive content and request that it is removed.
Report to eSafety — if serious cyberbullying is affecting your child and you need help to get the material removed from a social media service or other platform you can make a cyberbullying report to us.
Get help and support — check in with your child
regularly about how they are feeling. If you notice any changes that concern you, get help through a counselling or online support service.
Online pornography Your child may discover online pornography unintentionally, or they may go looking for it. Either way, you can play a role. How do kids find pornography online?
Your child may actively search for explicit content online,
out of curiosity or perhaps because their friends are talking about it. A friend or sibling (or an adult) may share inappropriate content. Your child may accidentally type the wrong word or phrase into an internet search or click on a link to something that looks interesting but turns out to be pornographic. They might click on links in phishing or spam emails, and pop-ups (even on harmless websites).
How can I protect my child?
Set some ‘house rules’ — discuss the issue with all
siblings and talk about where and when it is OK to use computers and devices. Stay engaged — talking regularly and openly with your
child about what they are doing online will help build trust. Use the available technology — take advantage of the parental controls available on devices, and ensure the ‘safe search’ mode is enabled on browsers. Build resilience — talking about sexualised content can
help young people process what they come across online and reinforce the importance of consent and respectful relationships. Consider raising the subject of pornography yourself — parenting experts recommend starting the conversation
early (by the time they are around 9 years old) to help protect them from the potential impacts of coming across it accidentally. Every child is different, so decide when you think it is right to raise the subject with your child.
Online pornography Take a long-term view — reinforce that if they do see
something they do not understand, they can come and ask you about it.
For teenagers, the most important message is that pornography is not real life. What can I do if my child has found pornography online?
Stay calm — thank them for being brave enough to let you know and reassure them that you will sort it out
together. Listen, assess, pause — ask them how they found it, where it happened, who (if anyone) showed it to them and how they felt when they saw it. Resist the urge to give
them a lecture. Reassure your child they are not in trouble — try not to remove your child's device or online access completely, as they will see it as punishment.
Be sensitive to how they feel — it is important to talk
with your child about how the content made them feel. Encourage your child to talk to you about any questions they have.
Talk about the importance of consent and respect in relationships — talk about the importance of always having permission to touch, hug, or kiss another person.
Further tips and advice about how to talk to your child about online pornography, depending on their age, are available on our website.
Sending nudes and sexting It is important to talk with your children about the possible consequences of sending or sharing intimate images.
The consequences can be serious — for young people
it could result in humiliation, bullying, teasing, harassment, damage to their reputation, and criminal charges or penalties.
What are the risks? Sharing intimate images may seem like a bit of fun or innocent flirting for young people, particularly those in a relationship. But things can go wrong and it is important your child understands this. They lose control of the image — once an image is shared, it can be copied and saved by others, shared with people the sender does not know and posted on social media and public websites. Things can go wrong even in a trusted relationship —
a friend or partner may, on impulse and without thinking, share an image more broadly than the sender intended.
Images may not always be sent willingly — young
people may be forced or pressured into sending explicit images or videos.
The term ‘sexting’ is not often used by young people or in popular culture. Young people are more likely to refer to ‘nudes'.
Sending nudes and sexting How can I minimise the risks to my child?
What can I do when things go wrong?
— let them know that they don’t have to give in to peer pressure or send intimate images just because others do. Teach them about consent and respectful relationships — help them understand the impact of
intimate images removed and, in some cases, take action against the person who shared it. See more detailed advice on what to do and how to make a report on our website. You can also report the image to the site or
sharing intimate images of others and that they are breaking someone’s trust when they do this. Talk about the risks — what can go wrong and the legal issues. Remind them that once an image is shared, it is almost impossible to get it back or control how it is shared.
service it was posted on. Get help and support — look after your child’s wellbeing and encourage them to speak with a professional counselling or support service.
Talk early, talk often — have an age-appropriate chat
Stay calm and open — reassure them that they are not with them about sending nudes. Consider asking questions alone and you will work through this together. using real-life examples like, ‘Do you think it was right for Listen, and act fast — there can be legal issues when him (or her) to share that photo after they broke up?’ intimate images of children are shared. You can report image-based abuse to eSafety. We can help to get Promote self-confidence and that it is OK to say ‘no'
Time online Help your child achieve a healthy balance in their online and offline activities. How much is too much? There is no magic figure. The right amount of screen time can depend on a range of factors like your child’s age and maturity, the kind of content they are consuming, their learning needs and your family routine. It can be easy to focus only on the clock, but the quality and nature of what they are doing online, and your involvement, are just as important.
Signs to watch for: less interest in social activities like meeting friends or playing sport not doing so well at school tiredness, sleep disturbance, headaches, eye strain
changes in eating patterns reduced personal hygiene obsession with particular websites or games extreme anger when being asked to take a break from online activity appearing anxious or irritable when away from the computer becoming withdrawn from friends and family. Reducing your own screen time sets a positive example.
Time online Help your child manage their online time
Stay engaged and encourage balance — keep an eye on the games, apps and devices your child uses by
sharing screen time with them. Help them stay aware of their important offline activities, like hobbies and sports. Create a plan — involve your child in creating a family plan that balances time spent sitting in front of screens,
with a variety of offline activities. Use the available technologies — parental controls and tools to monitor online time allow you to measure and set time limits on device use or internet access. But be honest and open with your children about why you want to use
these technologies.
Online gaming Online games can be great fun for your child, but make sure you can help them manage the risks. What are the benefits and risks? Many games can improve your child’s coordination, problem-solving and multi-tasking skills, as well as help build social skills through online interactivity with other players. But it is important to understand what might go wrong. Risks of online gaming include: spending too much time gaming, which can have negative
How to create a safer gaming environment for your child
Prepare — locate the computer or games console in an open area of your home and use available parental controls and safety features for devices, browsers and apps. Build good habits — help your child protect their
personal information by using a screen name that does not reveal their real name. Teach them not to click on links provided by strangers, like ‘cheat’ programs to help with game play, which can contain viruses or malware.
Agree on strategies to help them switch off — like a
impacts on your child’s health, ability to study, and social and emotional wellbeing bullying and grooming through online or in-game chat games with gambling-like elements can normalise gambling for young people costs of in-game spending.
timer that signals game time is nearly over, with consequences for not switching off. Stay involved — talk regularly with your child about their gaming interests and who they play with online. Play alongside your child to get a better sense of how they are handling their personal information and who they are communicating with.
Online gaming Be aware of what they are playing — games vary in
their level of violent or sexual content, and may contain themes, language and images that are unsuitable for your child. Empower your child — wherever possible, help them make wise decisions for themselves, rather than tell them
what to do. Try to provide them with strategies for dealing with negative online experiences that will build their confidence and resilience.
Unwanted contact and grooming Socialising online can be a great way for children to build friendships, but it can also put them at risk.
Report and block — if they receive any unwanted
How to deal with unwanted contact
to delete friend or follow requests from people they don’t
Unwanted contact is any type of online communication that your child finds unpleasant or confronting, or that leads them into a situation where they might do something they regret. This can happen even if they initially welcomed the contact. It can come from strangers, online ‘friends’ your child has not met face-to-face, or from someone they actually know.
Make their accounts private — suggest that your child
makes their social media accounts private or revises their privacy settings regularly. Delete contacts they don’t talk to — ask them to go through all the people who follow them or are friends with them on social media and check that they actually know them.
contact from someone they know or a stranger, encourage them to report and block this person.
Delete requests from strangers — encourage your child know.
How does online grooming work? Grooming involves building a relationship with a child in order to sexually abuse them. This abuse can happen in a physical meeting, but it increasingly occurs online when young people are tricked or persuaded into sexual activity on webcams or into sending sexual images.
Unwanted contact and grooming How can I protect my child?
Stay involved in your child’s digital world — keep up-
Establish safety guidelines for meeting online
are using, and explore them together. Build an open trusting relationship — keep communication open and calm so they know they can come to you when someone is asking them to do
online 'friends’ online, but that if they do want to meet someone face-to-face they should let you know first. Let them know they should be accompanied by you or another trusted adult.
to-date with the sites, apps and online chat services they
something that does not feel right. Help your child to protect their privacy — encourage your child to use their privacy settings on social media sites to restrict their online information to known friends only.
Teach your child to be alert to signs of inappropriate
contact — help your child recognise signs that an online 'friend’ may be trying to develop an inappropriate relationship, such as asking lots of questions about personal information soon after meeting online, asking which room their computer is in, asking them for favours and doing things in return (abusers often use promises and gifts to gain trust).
'friends’ face-to-face — explain that it is safest to keep
What to do if something goes wrong — talk to them
without being judgemental or angry and make them feel like they can come to you with anything, without fear of being punished or criticised. Find out what happened and act to protect your child. Call the police immediately on Triple Zero (000) if their physical safety is as risk. Report abuse or online grooming to your local police or Crimestoppers. Get help and support for your child from a professional counselling service.
Report abuse to us Cyberbullying Cyberbullying is online behaviour that is seriously threatening, intimidating, harassing or humiliating. We can take action to get serious cyberbullying material removed, and provide advice, support and assistance.
Image-base abuse We can help to get the intimate images or video removed and, in some cases, take action against the person who shared it. We can also help with sexual extortion, or where someone is blackmailing you over your intimate images.
Child sexual abuse material We investigate complaints from Australian residents and law enforcement agencies about illegal and restricted online content.
Help and resources Kids Helpline
Support for parents
Kids Helpline provides free and confidential online and phone counselling to young people aged 5 to 25. It is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Each state or territory has a dedicated Parentline that offers counselling, information and a referral service. Opening hours vary by state.
kidshelpline.com.au or 1800 55 1800.
eHeadspace eheadspace provides free online and telephone support and counselling to young people 12 - 25 and their families and friends. It is available 9am to 1am (Melbourne time), 7 days a week. eheadpsace.org.au or 1800 650 890
Parentline (QLD and NT) — 1300 30 1300 Parentline (VIC) — 13 22 89 Parentline (NSW) —1300 1300 52 Parent Helpline (SA) — 1300 364 100 Parentline (ACT ) — 02 6287 3833 Parent Line (TAS) — 1300 808 178 Parenting WA Line (WA) — (08) 9368 9368 or 1800 111 546
Help and resources Support for schools Many schools have detailed policies and procedures in place to help support children online, including how to manage issues like cyberbullying, sexting and other online concerns. The Departments of Education in each state have policies and information for students, teachers, parents and the broader community on the appropriate use of technology. For more information, contact your child’s school.
esafety.gov.au/parents
Mental wellbeing resources for families Information and support is available to help families deal with mental wellbeing issues.
Building mental wellbeing and resilience Resilience is the ability to recover after a negative experience. It’s an important part of maintaining mental wellbeing. Contact these organisations for support: Beyond Blue – Advice about mental health issues and how to raise resilient young people. ReachOut – General mental health information for young people and their families. The parent’s guide to Instagram explains how teenagers can stay safe on social media. eSafety – Information for parents and carers helping young people deal with online issues. Topics include cyberbullying, online gaming and managing time online.
Facing mental wellbeing challenges Headspace – Information for families and friends of young people experiencing mental wellbeing issues. Beyond Blue and ReachOut – Suicide prevention resources, including how to start the conversation and make a safety plan. Orygen – A guide to communicating safely online called #chatsafe, with advice about mental health, suicide and self-harm. Embrace Mental Health – Mental health and suicide prevention support for people from culturally and linguistically diverse (CALD) backgrounds, in different languages.
Dealing with body image and eating disorders The Butterfly Foundation – Support for families dealing with eating disorders and body image challenges. Parents of teenagers can use the Body Kind resources for advice about eating and exercise behaviours.
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Phone and webchat counselling Lifeline
Crisis support phone service. 13 11 14. Lifeline Suicide call back service. 1300 659 467.
Parentline
State based phone and support services for parents and carers.
QLife
Phone and online counselling for LGBTIQ+ people, their families and friends. 1800 184 527.
Beyond Blue
hone and online counselling for all Australians, offered in different languages. P 1300 224 636.
For more support services visit the eSafety website or Head to Health. Factsheets supporting the LGBTIQ+ community and Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples are available through the e-mental health in practice (eMHprac).
If you, or someone you care about is at risk of harm right now, call Triple Zero (000).
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Tips for dealing with mental health and online safety issues • Be direct and show you care. You might say, 'I’ve heard that people have been sharing a video that shows a suicide. I was wondering what you would do if someone sent it to you?’ • Explain that you won’t be angry or stop them using their phone if they tell you something personal. Suggest other people who they could talk to if they are worried about telling you. • Check if anyone is at risk of harm. You could ask, ‘Has your friend mentioned that they are thinking of suicide?’ Call Triple Zero (000) in an emergency. • Tell your child why others need to be involved. You could say, 'I know you’re worried that your friend will be angry with you for telling me. It was the right thing to do – you’re a good friend who cares about their safety.' • Don’t leave it to others to do something. If you find out a young person is sharing experiences online related to self-harm or eating disorders, encourage them to talk to their family or school. • Ask the school about counselling and how to access the school psychologist. Visit the eSafety website for information about counselling and support. • Check-in regularly and gently ask age appropriate questions to open the conversation. Be available to listen and help them to build their digital skills. Use eSafety’s parent resources which include information sheets and advice about family tech agreements. • Use The eSafety Guide for advice about safety features on the latest apps, games and social media and how to update settings.
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Helping kids thrive online Webinar information sheet for parents of primary school students
General tips for supporting your child online:
Ways to start the chat: •
Use eSafety’s information on how to approach the hard-to-have conversations.
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Support your child’s friendships online and off by talking with them about their friends and activities.
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Ask your child to demonstrate the games and apps they use to better understand what they play, why it’s fun and possible pitfalls they may encounter.
Use The eSafety Guide to learn more about popular apps, games and social networking sites including how to report inappropriate content.
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Help build confidence by encouraging children to share their knowledge of the online world.
Explore eSafety kids pages with your child to discuss topics such as I saw something online I didn’t like.
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Learn how to report illegal content.
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Encourage routines that promote health and balance. For example, create device-free times and places in your home.
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Model your own behaviour, by demonstrating that you can put your phone down and concentrate on spending time with your child, without the distractions of being online.
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Talk to your child about who could be their ‘askable adult’, and when they would speak with them.
Contact with strangers Unwanted contact is any type of online communication that your child finds unpleasant or confronting, or that leads them into a situation where they might be harmed. At worst, it can involve ‘grooming’ a child — building a relationship with a child in order to sexually abuse them. How to help your child: •
Learn and discuss what children can do in situations where they might feel unsafe
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Explore eSafety kids pages so you can more easily discuss topics like someone is contacting me and I don’t want them to.
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Learn about the features of apps that can expose children to contact with strangers by exploring The eSafety Guide.
Harmful content Harmful or inappropriate content is content that a child might find upsetting, disturbing or offensive. It includes material that shows or encourages the sexual abuse of children, terrorism or other acts of extreme violence, and material which is not suitable for children, such as pornography.
esafety.gov.au
Cyberbullying Cyberbullying of children is when someone uses online content or communication to seriously humiliate, seriously harass, seriously intimidate, or seriously threaten a child or young person under the age of 18. eSafety can help with the removal of serious cyberbullying content. •
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Use The eSafety Guide to show your child how to block and report users that make them feel uncomfortable. Explore eSafety kids to discuss topics such as someone is being mean to me online and people are being mean to others online. Teach your child how and when to report cyberbullying to eSafety.
Resources •
Download the online safety guide for parents and carers — available in five languages.
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Use online safety basics to explore technology issues with your child, negotiate rules and get to know the technology.
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Refer to eSafety’s taming the technology to set screen time tools and parental controls.
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Read eSafety’s privacy and your child to help manage privacy and safety settings. It also offers advice about how to check location settings.
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Explore the big issues and find out more about cyberbullying, online pornography, time online, gaming, unwanted contact and grooming by a sexual predator.
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Check eSafety’s skills and advice resources—establishing good habits, hard to have conversations and using parental controls.
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Show your child how to contact Kids Helpline and learn the details of Parentline in your state or territory.
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Be smart and secure when choosing tech gifts for children by reviewing the eSafety gift guide.
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If you have children under five, read eSafety Early Years for more information and resources.
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For parents of teens, visit eSafety young people.
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Look at eSafety parents for advice, resources and links specifically tailored for parents’ needs.
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For parents of primary school aged children, visit eSafety kids.
References •
eSafety Research
Published: January 2022
esafety.gov.au
5 tips
to keep your family safe online
Parents and carers can use a combination of strategies to help young people build their digital technology skills and have safer experiences online.
1. Start the chat Get into the habit of talking about online safety as a family, so your child feels comfortable coming to you if they ever need help working out an issue. It’s never too early to introduce good online habits such as respect, empathy, critical thinking, responsible behaviour and resilience. As your child grows older, eSafety’s advice about hard to have conversations will help with some of the tricky topics like sending nudes, online pornography and contact from sexual predators.
2. Create a family technology agreement Creating a Family Technology Agreement can help you and your kids decide together when and how digital technology will be used at home. As a family, brainstorm easy-to-follow rules and display them where everyone will see them. Your agreement could cover things like: time limits, apps your kids are allowed to use and online behaviour. Families with younger children can download a template to guide the conversation.
3. Set up parental controls Parental controls let you monitor and limit what your child sees and does online. It’s best to use them in combination with the other online safety strategies listed here. Taming the technology can help you understand your options. Grab a device and get started with our guides to setting up parental controls on devices and accounts or in social media, games and apps.
4. Choose games and other apps carefully Use eSafety’s App checklist for parents to think about the positives and negatives when your child asks to download a new game or other app. The checklist covers things like age ratings, managing privacy settings and reporting abuse in-app. You can also use The eSafety guide to check and set up safety features with your child.
5. Use digital technology together
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Exploring or playing on devices or online with your child can be a positive experience that promotes learning and development. Ask questions, be curious and get involved. To learn more, read our blogpost How to encourage good screen practices for your child.
How to look after your mental wellbeing on social media Social media can be a great way to keep in touch with friends and it’s important to make sure your experience is fun and positive. These tips and resources have been created for young people. Use them to look after your mental wellbeing online when you're playing games, chatting to others or posting stories. 1. Choose how and when you chat Group chats are a good way to talk with close friends, but being available 24/7 can be stressful. • Take a break from the conversation by muting notifications on WhatsApp or choosing one of the privacy settings on Snapchat. • Change your status and location on WhatsApp to private, so your friends don't always know what you're doing and expect you to chat. 2. Think about the impact your story might have Sharing online is a great way to express yourself but posting personal or confronting content can hurt you and others. • Think about who will see your story and whether they will respect your post – especially if it contains personal information, like how you are feeling. You can change your settings to close friends only on Instagram for example, to control who sees the information. • When you live stream and share content like an Instagram Reel, work out what you might do if people respond in a negative way. Consider what could happen if the content is reposted. • If you think your content might upset or hurt other people, warn them and suggest they scroll past it. • If you are worried your post might hurt others, show it to a trusted person before you share it and see what they think.
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3. Choose what appears in your feed Scrolling through YouTube or Tik Tok can be a great way to relieve stress and even learn new skills, but some material could make you feel uncomfortable. • Be aware of the type of content that might upset you. For example, most apps and social media sites ban content glorifying eating disorders, self-harm and suicide. • Limit the amount of distressing content that you see. You can hide content on Snapchat or flag videos as not interested on Tik Tok stories appearing in your feed.
to stop
• Use The eSafety Guide to help you block or report users. You can use the mute feature on Instagram or select unfollow on Tik Tok to stop users you don’t like coming up in your feed. 4. Keep it positive Use the resources on social networks to help you and others maintain a healthy state of mind. • Look out for safety and wellbeing tips. Tik Tok tips offers technical and mental health advice for staying safe and Snapchat provides wellbeing support. • Check how much time you spend looking at negative news or 'doomscrolling'. Try swapping your news time for more positive content instead. • Check-in with your friends and send a direct message to them if they seem upset. Follow the advice on the R U OK? website to start the chat. • Join moderated online groups like ReachOut Forums to talk with others if you need support.
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5. Stay safe while gaming Online gaming can be a healthy way to connect with friends. It can also provide stress relief, as long as it's enjoyable and positive. • Use an app to record the number of hours you spend playing online games. Is it too much? Talk to a trusted adult about how gaming affects you. • Avoid gaming communities that use online hate or negative talk. • Check the advice provided by eSafety if you're being bullied, harassed or threatened during a game. Find out how to screenshot the evidence, report and block other gamers who behave badly. 6. Take a break Spending lots of time online might affect your mood or make you feel like you’re missing out on other things. • Use your Apple or Android device to measure the amount of time you spend online or spend using certain apps. • Set up your device to send you an alert after a chosen amount of time, so you know how long you have been online. For example use the wellbeing settings on Tik Tok or view how much time you’ve spent on Instagram.
Visit eSafety’s young people pages for tips about how to have positive experiences online. Use The eSafety Guide to get advice about safety features on the latest apps, games and social media sites. Check out The Butterfly Foundation’s #TheWholeMe toolkit for young people, about positive body image and authentic sharing on Instagram. Find other helpful tips on Tik Tok’s Youth Portal, Snapchat’s Tips for staying safe and Instagram's Wellbeing Guide.
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Counselling and mental wellbeing support for young people Information and support is available to help families deal with mental wellbeing issues. Talking about your feelings with a counsellor can be hard. You may be worried about your privacy or feel like your problem isn’t that serious. Perhaps you don't know where to start. It's important to know that counsellors are there to help with problems, whether they're big or small. You can start by speaking to your psychologist at school or contact a support service. Why should I talk to someone? • Most people feel better after talking to someone about their problems. • Sometimes it’s easier to be honest with someone who is not a friend or family member. • Online services are usually free and you don’t have to give your real name. • Asking for help is a skill and it gets easier with practice.
Start the chat Kids Helpline – A 24/7 confidential webchat and phone counselling service for children and young people aged 5 to 25 years. You can also join My Circle and chat with other young people experiencing similar issues. 1800 551 800. Headspace – A confidential, free and secure space where young people aged 12 to 25 or their family can chat, email or speak on the phone with a qualified professional. 1800 650 890. The Butterfly Foundation – Phone counselling services for people experiencing eating disorders or body image issues, and their carers. 1800 ED HOPE. QLife – Online confidential counselling for LGBTIQ+ young people. 1800 184 527.
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Start the chat ReachOut – Self-help information, peer-support and referral tools to help young people and their wellbeing. Follow on Instagram or Tik Tok to find out what it's like to see a therapist, and get other tips. Headspace – Mental health advice about how to help a friend or find someone to support you. The Butterfly Foundation – Resources and information about eating disorders. Check out #TheWholeMe toolkit about positive body image and authentic sharing on Instagram. #Chatsafe – Tools and tips to help young people communicate safely about suicide online. Minus18 – Resources and advice about advocacy and social inclusion for LGBTQIA+ young people.
Download an app ReachOut – A directory of apps and tools to help manage mental health challenges. WorryTime by ReachOut – Professional advice to help with anxiety and stress. Headgear by Blackdog – Tools and a guide to Blackdog’s 30 day challenge to improve wellbeing. Calm Harm – Advice about how to resist and manage the urge to self-harm. SuperBetter – Gaming techniques and activities to build personal resilience and strength.
If you, or someone you care about is at risk of harm right now, call Triple Zero (000).
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Parent guide to online sexual harassment and image-based abuse
Four ways to make it easier for young people to ask for help eSafety research on the ‘Digital lives of Aussie teens’ told us young people see their parents as an essential source of online safety information. The parents pages on eSafety’s website have advice and resources about the risks and how to provide the best support to your child. Here are four things you can do with your teen to help them feel safe to ask for help: 1. Make sure you tell them that you are always there to help, and that they should never feel shamed or embarrassed by talking about difficult issues. 2. Start the chat about what’s OK and not OK in respectful online relationships and when to report abuse. Every chat you have makes it easier for young people to ask for help when something goes wrong. 3. Use the The eSafety Guide to learn how to report negative experiences on different online platforms. 4. T alk about how counselling and support services may help them, and what they can expect if they use them. You can also share eSafety’s self-help resources for young people.
How to start the chat • Talk about permission and consent online. For example, ‘That must have been tough when Sam asked you to be in the family photo. I know you’re not into having your photos online at the moment. Can I help so it’s easier next time?’ • Talk about pressure in relationships. For example, ‘Sometimes our friends or people in our community can influence what behaviours we think are OK. Have you seen this happening?’ • Encourage young people to consider the online world from different perspectives. For example, ‘Do you think your gender affects what you see or do online?’ Then ask them to consider the online world from another perspective. • Explore the impact of bystanders. For example, ‘I’ve heard sometimes young people get angry and use nudes to try to get back at someone. Do you think there’s anything others can do to try to help the situation?’ • Keep your child safe. If you think it’s possible they are being groomed or exploited by a sexual predator, talk to them honestly. For example, ‘I’ve noticed this one person has liked a lot of your Instagram posts. Does he follow you on any other social media?’
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Other resources for parents •
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eSafety's resources for parents and carers include pages on sexting and sending nudes, unwanted contact and grooming and the hard to have conversations. eSafety's image-based abuse pages have information about how family and friends can support someone if an intimate image or video of a person has been shared online without their consent.
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Reachout.com has advice for parents on topics like how to talk to your teen about consent and peer pressure.
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idshelpline.com.au has a wide range of K advice for parents and young people on a range of issues including social, sexual and mental health issues.
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Australian Centre to Counter Child Exploitation has resources about child sexual exploitation for parents and young people.
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Closing The Net is a podcast by the ACCCE that covers online child sexual exploitation, tips and advice on how to protect kids and report offensive behaviour.
The Our Watch campaign ‘Doing nothing does harm’ looks at how bystanders can call out online disrespect. •
SBS TV program The Hunting covers themes of misogyny, online exploitation, sexuality and sexualisation among teens.
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Raising Children Network has advice on what to do if a child is sexually abused and problematic sexual behaviour.
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eSafety’s pages for women have information about dealing with gendered abuse and domestic and family violence.
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BS TV program ‘See what you made me S do’ and the related Connect with respect support materials look at family violence and technology-facilitated abuse. The show includes real experiences of domestic and family violence which some viewers may find upsetting.
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Support services In an emergency call Triple Zero (000) Kids Helpline Provides free, 24/7 confidential webchat and phone counselling for children and young people aged 5 to 25 years. Phone: 1800 55 1800 Web: kidshelpline.com.au
MensLine Australia Telephone: 1300 789 978 Web: mensline.org.au Lifeline Telephone: 13 11 14 Web: lifeline.org.au
eheadspace A confidential, free and secure space where young people aged 12 to 25 or their family can chat, email or speak on the phone with a qualified youth mental health professional.
Australian Centre to Counter Child Exploitation
Phone: 1800 650 890 or Web: eheadspace.org.au
Youth Law Australia
QLife Phone and online counselling for LGBTIQ+ people and their family and friends (all ages). Phone: 1800 184 527 Web: qlife.org.au Bravehearts Child sexual assault and exploitation counselling and support. Phone: 1800 272 831 Web: bravehearts.org.au 1800 RESPECT Free 24 hour support for people impacted by sexual assault and domestic or family violence and abuse. Telephone: 1800 737 732 Web: 1800RESPECT.org.au
Report online sexual exploitation of anyone under 18, including grooming and abuse. Web: accce.gov.au/report
Confidential legal information and help for young people under 25. Web: yla.org.au Parentline Each state or territory has a dedicated Parentline that offers counselling, information and a referral service. Opening hours vary by state. Web: parentline.com.au Parentline (ACT) — 02 6287 3833 Parentline (NSW) — 1300 1300 52 Parentline (QLD and NT) — 1300 30 1300 Parent Helpline (SA) — 1300 364 100 Parent Line (TAS) — 1300 808 178 Parentline (VIC) — 13 22 89 Parenting WA Line (WA) — 1800 111 546
Published: January 2022
Men’s Referral Service Telephone: 1300 766 491 Web: ntv.org.au
esafety.gov.au
Young people’s guide to dealing with online sexual harassment and image-based abuse
What is online sexual harassment?
What is image-based abuse?
Online sexual harassment means sexual contact or comments online that are unwanted or unwelcome. Online sexual harassment can be things like:
Image-based abuse is when a person shares, or threatens to share, an intimate image or video of a person without their consent.
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epeated requests for nude images or to R participate in sexual activity.
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Online bullying that targets a person’s sexual behaviour or identity.
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Sending sexual content or pornography to another person without their consent.
Young people are sometimes made to feel that online sexual harassment is just part of growing up, or only meant as a joke, or that some people deserve it. If you experience online sexual harassment, it’s not your fault and it’s never OK to treat people this way. eSafety’s resources for young people can help you deal with issues like pressure to send nudes or receiving unwanted nudes.
The intimate image or video can show, or appear to show: •
A person’s genital area or anal area (whether bare or covered by underwear).
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A person’s breasts (if the person identifies as female, transgender or intersex).
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Private activity (for example getting undressed or engaging in sexual activity).
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A person without attire of religious or cultural significance that they would normally wear in public (such as a niqab or turban).
The images or videos can be real or altered or faked to look like you. Report image-based abuse to eSafety. We can help to get the intimate images or video removed and, in some cases, take action against the person who shared it.
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How can you help keep your community safe? • Respect others online. Everyone deserves to feel safe to be themselves online. Think about how you can include others online in ways that make them feel safe and respected. • Speak up, if you feel safe to do so. If you see someone being harassed because of their gender, sexuality or other reasons you can use an eye roll emoji or say something like ‘That’s not OK’. You should also reach out to see if they need help connecting with support services. • If it’s happening to you, or you are doing it, ask for help. It can seem scary, embarrassing, or pointless to try to get help. But we know that when young people get support, it can make a big difference. Counselling can help you to feel more confident to cope with a difficult situation. It can also help you feel like you have more options for dealing with an issue.
How to report harassment or abuse that is happening on a game, app or social media service You can report sexual harassment and imagebased abuse on most games, apps and social media sites. The eSafety Guide gives you the reporting links for many of the services and platforms, as well as tips for managing the settings on games, apps and social media to help keep you safe. Learn how to report abuse on some of the most popular platforms: • Snapchat Support • Instagram Help Centre • Facebook Report something • TikTok Report a problem • Kik Safety Centre • WhatsApp About blocking or reporting contacts • Google hangout Block, report or ignore someone • Discord How to properly report issues to Trust and Safety • YouTube Community guidelines Facebook and Instagram has information to help you deal with image-based abuse on their Not without my consent pages.
esafety.gov.au
Other resources and support services If you are in danger now, call the police on Triple Zero (000). Kids Helpline Provides free, 24/7 confidential webchat and phone counselling for children and young people aged 5 to 25 years.
1800 RESPECT Free 24 hour support for people impacted by sexual assault and domestic or family violence and abuse.
Phone: 1800 55 1800 Web: kidshelpline.com.au
Telephone: 1800 737 732 Web: 1800RESPECT.org.au
eheadspace A confidential, free and secure space where young people aged 12 to 25 or their family can chat, email or speak on the phone with a qualified youth mental health professional.
Australian Centre to Counter Child Exploitation
Phone: 1800 650 890 or Web: eheadspace.org.au
Youth Law Australia
QLife Phone and online counselling for LGBTIQ+ people and their family and friends (aall ages).
Web: yla.org.au
Report online sexual exploitation of anyone under 18, including grooming and abuse. Web: accce.gov.au/report
Confidential legal information and help for young people under 25.
Phone: 1800 184 527 Web: qlife.org.au
Published: January 2022
esafety.gov.au
eSafety’s parent guide to cyberbullying and online drama
Summary Sheet Cyberbullying is sending or sharing seriously threatening, seriously intimidating, seriously harassing or humiliating online content to or about someone under 18. The behaviour might include abusive texts and emails, hurtful messages or creating fake accounts to trick someone or humiliate them One in five young Australians aged 8 to 17 years say they have been socially excluded, threatened or abused online.
Helping your child manage devices and accounts Regularly reviewing settings in apps and on devices can help young people manage online drama and protect their wellbeing. You can support them by encouraging them to do this Review privacy settings regularly • Limit or filter comments to help manage negativity online. •
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Actively manage who can make contact online by using the tools to mute, restrict, delete or unfriend others for a period of time or permanently. Enable wellbeing settings that help track time online and schedule breaks.
Most services provide a parent guide to help you understand the basic settings. Examples • TikTok Safety Center for Parents
Building social and emotional skills Cyberbullying is often an extension of face-to-face bullying. Talk regularly to young people about their relationships, including what happens online. Start the chat by asking some key questions: • What do you do if you feel frustrated or angry about something happening online? • What would you do if you saw someone harassing a friend? • What can you do if you feel like someone is trying to make you look bad online? Young and eSafe has practical advice and videos for young people. The resource covers topics such as respect, responsibility, empathy, resilience, and critical thinking. You can also use our conversation starters to help with a range of online safety topics.
• YouTube Kids Parental Guide • The Parent's Guide to Snapchat ConnectSafely • A Parent’s Guide to Instagram - Reachout.com • Tips for parents on helping your teen stay safe on Discord
esafety.gov.au
Supporting your child if they experience cyberbullying eSafety research showed that more than 80% of teens took some form of action after a negative online experience, and this mostly involved self-help or speaking to family or friends. If you are aware that your child has had a negative experience like cyberbullying, try to stay calm and remind them that support is available. eSafety can help you deal with the issue and report the abuse. •
We have general information about different types of cyberbullying and how the abuse may affect your child’s behaviour.
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Our videos step you through collecting evidence. The eSafety Guide provides links to help you report a complaint to the social media site, app, game or websites where the cyberbullying occurred.
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Encouraging early help-seeking Provide easy access to information about support services, such as displaying key contact numbers on your fridge. Kids Helpline Kids Helpline provides free and confidential online and phone counselling to young people aged 5 to 25. It is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. kidshelpline.com.au or 1800 55 1800. eHeadspace eheadspace provides free online and telephone support and counselling to young people 12 to 25 and their families and friends. It is available 9am to 1am (Melbourne time), 7 days a week. eheadpsace.org.au or 1800 650 890
We have FAQs about about how to report cyberbullying to eSafety and information on how we handle complaints.
Support for parents Each state or territory has a dedicated parent helpline that offers counselling, information and a referral service. Opening hours vary by state.
Parentline (QLD and NT) — 1300 30 1300
Parent Line (TAS) — 1300 808 178
Parentline (VIC) — 13 22 89
Parenting WA Line (WA) — 08 6279 1200 or 1800 654 432
Parentline (NSW) — 1300 1300 52 Parent Helpline (SA) — 1300 364 100 Parentline (ACT) — 02 6287 3833
esafety.gov.au
More resources According to eSafety research, 40% of children and young people want to access online safety information through a trusted website. eSafety Kids has information and advice designed especially for children aged 5 to 12. It provides simple explanations about issues that kids might need help with. The pages include tips for when someone is being mean online, what to do if you think you have been mean to others online and how to help friends. eSafety Young People has information and advice designed especially for secondary students and younger adults. It explores common online safety risks as well as tips for preventing and dealing with them. The content includes a main page about cyberbullying and related pages about online drama, the difference between banter and bullying, what to do if you have been called a bully, being an upstander instead of a bystander, and other relevant issues. The eSafety Parents pages have information and advice designed especially for parents and carers. A page on cyberbullying guides you through the signs to look out for and what to do if you think your child is being cyberbullied.
There are also tips if you are worried that your child might be bullying others or you need help with hard-to-have conversations about issues such as cyberbullying and online relationships. eSafety also has information for people with diverse needs, including resources translated into languages other than English and Easy Read resources.
Keep up to date Read the latest blogposts by the eSafety Commissioner. Sign up to an eSafety newsletter tailored for parents and carers.
More resources: Other eSafety research Digital lives of Aussie Teens (2021) State of play – Youth, kids and digital dangers (2017) Online safety for young people with intellectual disability (2020) Adults’ negative online experiences (2020)
Published: January 2022
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Online gaming information for parents and carers Online gaming has many benefits Gaming can be a way to: • Have fun and be entertained. • Relax and reduce stress. • Keep the mind active. • Develop creativity. • Strengthen decision making and strategic skills. • Connect with others. For most gamers, playing is a casual pastime. But a growing number of people play or watch competitive gaming (or eSports) as individuals, teams or families. Many gamers belong to vibrant and active communities.
Gaming can be used for a range of other purposes. These include general school education, right through to specialist workplace training (for example, flight simulations and various defence and cybersecurity exercises). While gaming often has positive effects on the mental health and wellbeing of participants, it also has risks — like most online activities. This information sheet provides practical tips and links to further information, so you can help your child reduce the risks and maximise the positive experiences of gaming online.
State of play According to a major Australian gaming industry report:1 • Typical daily casual game play is 10 minutes, twice a day typical daily in-depth game play is 1 hour. • 47% of gamers are female. • 78% of gamers are over the age of 18. • The average age of an Australian gamer is 34 years old. • Adult players have been gaming for an average of 12 years. Competitive gaming, known as eSports, is a multi-billion dollar industry that includes many gaming genres and titles, such as League of Legends and Counter Strike Global Offensive. Gamers also watch eSports to learn strategies to improve gameplay. 1. Source: Interactive Games & Entertainment Association
esafety.gov.au
Gaming risks It is important to take a balanced view and recognise that gaming, like everything online, has its pros and cons. eSafety research has found that people playing online games can be exposed to risks including: • Cyberbullying (for example threats, verbal
abuse, ganging up, exclusion).
• Inappropriate language, age-inappropriate content, or access to pornography. • Unwanted contact from others, including
‘grooming’ by a sexual predator.
• Spending too much time online.
Many multiplayer games involve hundreds or even thousands of people playing at the same time. The gamers can communicate with friends and strangers through web cam, private messaging or online chat functions. This increases the risk of contact from online abusers or bullying from other players.
Managing gaming
Ratings and reviews
• In-app purchasing.
• Themes or elements that may encourage young people to gamble now or later in life. • Giving out too much personal data.
The best way to help your child manage the risks is to take an active interest in their gaming.
Select the right privacy settings Make sure your child only joins games suitable to their age and maturity. The privacy settings can also be restricted so your child only plays or chats with gamers they know.
Choose the right games Collaborate with your child on game purchases — have them suggest the game they wish to play or purchase. Ask them to find out the recommended age, information about the content and how to use the privacy settings. To identify if a game is beneficial, ask:2 • Are there emotional benefits? (Is it fun?) • Are there cognitive or learning benefits? (Do you need to solve problems?) • Is creativity required? (Do you build stuff?) • Is it a social game? (Do you connect with other players and is the connection safe?)
You can look up games on the Australian Classification website to check their rating and other information about the content, to help you decide if it is suitable for your child. Check out the video Quick guide to Australian classification ratings. The eSafety Guide has information about popular online games, apps, social media sites and other digital platforms. The guide explains what the game is and how people use its tools and functions. It also provides the gaming company’s age recommendation and links to key safety information, including how to report and block abusive players. eSafety can direct an online service or platform to remove illegal content or ensure that restricted content can only be accessed by people who are 18 or older. Find out more about illegal and restricted online content. Commonsense media provides parents with reviews of the latest games and apps (as well as movies, TV shows and books). 2. Dupon, S. (2016) Parents guide to gaming, Manningham YMCA
esafety.gov.au
Get involved
Co-design rules
Co-play
Kids are more likely to follow rules if they helped to create them. Part of the discussion and negotiating is explaining why a rule might or might not work.
Many gamers watch video tutorials or ‘walkthroughs’ to help them play. You can watch these with your child so you can both understand the games better. Learn the lingo with your kids — you can search online together to check the meaning of terms like ‘walkthroughs’, ‘first player shooter’ and ‘PVP’. Play the game yourself, or even get into the habit of co-playing with your child.
Listen and ask questions
One of the things that may help to manage your child’s gaming is negotiating the time they are allowed to spend online — before they start playing. Together you could decide a limit on how many games or levels can be completed, or the length of playing time.
Have a conversation with your child about common gaming issues using the eSafety kids and eSafety young people pages to guide them. You can workshop strategies to deal with upsetting or inappropriate behaviour and learn together how to report, mute and block abusive players.
It’s also good to establish rules about when and where digital devices and consoles can be used. For example, making it clear that games have to be played in open family areas not in bedrooms, homework has to be finished first, or screen time ends an hour before sleep.
Help regulate time online
as a mental health condition and there are practitioners who specialise in internet overuse problems. eSafety does not recommend any particular practice but there are listings on niira.
You may be concerned that your child is spending too much time playing online games. There is no magic number for ‘healthy’ hours or minutes. If gaming is balanced with other activities and sleep, there is usually no need for concern. Many young people game a lot and still study, socialise and feel happy. But if gaming starts to have negative impacts on your child or your family, you may need to encourage them to better regulate their time online. You can read more about the signs to look out for when your child is spending too much time gaming. It may be useful to get your child to reflect on the impact gaming is having on their life by helping them do a selfevaluation.
Responsible gambling Victoria has information to support conversations about gaming and gambling. For other relevant advice and resources you can also check out our list of counselling and support services, or go directly to KidsHelpline, eHeadspace or Beyond Blue.
Published January 2022
If you have serious concerns about your child and online gaming or gambling, seek professional advice from a doctor, psychologist or school counsellor. Gaming disorder has now been recognised by the World Health Organization
esafety.gov.au
Getting started with parental controls on devices and accounts
Many digital devices and accounts now come with parental controls. Here are some examples of the parental control features included in common devices and accounts.
Your home wi-fi network Some wi-fi routers and accounts with internet service providers (ISPs) come with software that allows you to set up parental controls across your whole network. However, you don't always get as much control and monitoring as you get from the tailored software installed on each device. If you would like to learn more about controlling content using your wi-fi network, contact your ISP provider.
Apple devices Apple allows parents to set up family sharing accounts. Family sharing enables parents to share purchased apps and manage their child’s device. You can find out more about setting up parental controls at Apple families. The Apple Support YouTube channel has videos that provide step by step advice. Follow these steps to get started: 1. In your settings, select your Apple ID and account info. 2. Go to family sharing and click on ‘+Add member’ to add a new account for your child. 3. Go to Screen Time settings to set limits on apps, block websites and restrict purchases – whenever you change this it will update on your child’s device. 4. On your child’s device, activate the account.
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Andriod devices Google Family Link allows parents to use an app to manage their child’s device. You can find out more at families.google.com. Follow these steps to get started: 1. Set up an account for your child using your Google account. 2. Download the Family Link app to your phone or tablet. 3. Verify your child’s account. 4. Go to Digital Wellbeing and Parental Controls and use the settings to set limits on apps, schedule downtime and see what your child is doing online – whenever you change this it will update on your child’s device. 5. On your child’s device, activate the account using the passcode or by pairing their device to yours.
Wearables Wearable technology such as iWatches, Fitbits and Virtual Reality headsets can be fun and provide benefits such as being portable. Some of these new technologies have parental control options that limit use to specific times, schedule downtime or hide your child’s location from others. It’s worth looking at the options available before buying any wearables. Find out about staying safe while using wearables and other new technologies in the eSafety Gift Guide.
Published 05/2021
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Your child’s first smartphone – are they old enough? Children often have access to devices, including smartphones, from a very young age. Whether it’s watching their favourite program through streaming services on your phone, using educational apps or simply viewing photos with you and the family, they are engaging with devices in one form or another. But when is my child old enough to be given their own mobile phone? In 2012, the Australian Bureau of Statistics revealed children as young as five years old owned a mobile phone – two percent of children aged between five and eight years old, and 29 percent for children aged five to 14 years. This figure is likely to be higher now! For many parents and carers, five years old would seem too young. For others, it might offer them peace of mind and security to know they can keep in touch with their child—especially in an emergency. The right age for your child will depend on their level of maturity. It’s worth asking yourself the following questions before handing over a digital device.
For younger children it’s best to start with a mobile phone without internet access, and introduce a smartphone when they demonstrate an appropriate level of maturity. Some younger children might argue that they are ready for a smartphone, especially if their friends already have one. But it’s worth holding out until you feel confident that your child is mature enough.
My child has their first smartphone – now what? When your child receives their first smartphone it’s a great opportunity to instil safe online behaviours early on, so they can carry these skills through to their teens and beyond. Here are some tips for getting them on board with good online habits.
• Does my child have a good sense of responsibility? • Are they able to stick to the rules? • Do they show a good understanding of actions and consequences? • Do they come to me or another trusted adult when they are distressed or encounter problems?
Establish rules at the outset with clear boundaries Talk about expectations and the consequences for not meeting these rules. Depending on the age of your child, you might want to set up a written signed agreement which lists the rules. Here are some you may want to agree on: • No phones after a certain time (i.e. 8.00 pm) – unless in an emergency. • Keep to daily screen time limits (i.e. 1 hour per school night). • Family time is a no-phone zone (i.e. dinner).
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• Do not share your passwords with others – apart from parents. • Do not share your real name (or full name), age and address when posting, talking to strangers or on sites where anyone can see it. • Be kind to people – treat people on the phone as you would face-to-face. • Do not take or share photos of others (including friends) without their permission. • Tell a parent or another trusted adult if anything makes you feel uncomfortable, or if a stranger contacts you online. • Do not purchase or download an app or game without talking to a parent first—especially as these often have minimum age requirements. Use technology tools to help set the boundaries to keep your child safe Use parental controls to help manage your child’s device and the types of content they can access. Most devices come with parental controls and offer a range of features: • iPhone: Go to Settings > General > Restrictions. Here you can disable apps or features, prevent access to explicit content and specific webpages. • Android (Google Play): Go to Play Store > Settings > Parental controls. Most Android phones use Google Play as the digital marketplace for purchasing apps and accessing content. Through Google Play you can restrict the content your child can download or purchase from Google Play. • Google’s Family Link is an app for parents to help manage their child’s device and account and offers additional layers of protection. It enables parents to set screen time limits, review app permissions (such as their camera, location, contacts), block apps and approve downloads, block sites and filter content. • You can also check with your mobile service provider if they offer any parental control tools.
Activate any privacy settings and safety features available on the device, in web browsers and apps. In some cases you can do this through parental controls or when installing apps on their phone. Carefully consider permissions and whether apps really need to access your child’s location, contact list, messages and other features. Help your child set up a pin or password to lock their phone. In addition to protecting their personal information, this will ensure that no one else can use their phone. Help your child set up strong and unique passwords for their apps and websites. Even if the phone is locked, apps and websites can be accessed from other devices. Communicate openly with your child, establish and maintain trust Most importantly, communicate openly with your child about their phone and online use. It’s not possible to supervise your child 24/7 and no technology tool is 100 percent effective in protecting them from online risks. So it’s really important to establish and maintain trust. • Talk openly and regularly with your child about their online activities. Show them that you are interested in how they connect with friends, who they talk with and the type of sites they visit. • If you are using parental controls, be upfront about this and get them on board. Let them know that these can be reviewed and changed as they get older and they continue to demonstrate responsible behaviour. • Talk about positive online behaviour and about respecting others online. Encourage your child to think carefully before they post, text or share comments or photos so they don’t hurt or upset others. Remind them there is a real person at the end of the screen. • Encourage your child to come to you (or another trusted adult) if they are upset because of an online experience, even if they think they are to blame.
esafety.gov.au/parents
Getting started with parental controls in social media, games and apps
Many social media sites, games and apps now come with parental controls. The eSafety Guide has advice on safety features that can be useful for parents and carers, including how to use the settings to protect personal information and report online abuse. Here are some examples of the parental control features included in popular social media, games and apps.
Roblox Roblox is a game creation platform that allows users to design games, play together and chat. Using built-in parental controls, parents can manage the way their children use the game. These features include a ‘restricted’ mode that prevents access to chat and inappropriate games. Find out more about Roblox safety settings in The eSafety Guide or Roblox account restrictions.
TikTok TikTok is a social media app for creating and sharing short videos. TikTok has a feature called Family Pairing that allows parents to link their Tik Tok account to their teen’s account. Family pairing lets parents set controls like how much time their child spends on TikTok, the content they can see and their privacy settings. Find out more about TikTok’s safety settings in the The eSafety Guide or TikTok for parents.
YouTube Kids YouTube Kids is a filtered version of YouTube. Parents can create a separate profile for each child in their household. YouTube Kids uses a mix of automated filters, human review and parent feedback to limit the content that kids can see on the platform. Parents can also manually approve videos for their kids to watch, block videos and set screen time limits. Find out more about YouTube Kids in the The eSafety Guide or YouTube Kids.
Facebook Messenger for Kids
Find out more about Facebook Messenger for Kids in The eSafety guide or Messenger Kids.
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Published 05/2021
Messenger Kids is a free video calling and messaging app owned by Facebook. Parents can monitor their child’s activity and control their contact list using a Parent Dashboard. Parents can sign up on behalf of their child, and it doesn’t require the child to have Facebook account. Messenger Kids does not show advertising or offer in-app purchases.
Teens, tech and time online Webinar information sheet for parents of secondary school students
General tips for supporting your teen online: • Support your teen by talking about their online activities and experience with digital devices. • Use our eSafety Young People pages to learn more about online safety issues so you can discuss topics including pressures from social media, consent and sharing photos, keeping online accounts secure and digital reputation. • Show your teen eSafety’s tips on spending too much time online, so they can take control of their online experience, rather than letting it control them. • Encourage routines that promote health and balance e.g. creating device-free times and places in your home. • Talk to your teen about who could be their ‘askable adult’, and when they would speak with them about an online safety issue.
Harmful content Harmful or inappropriate content is content that a teen might find upsetting, disturbing or offensive. Ways to start the chat: •
Use eSafety’s information on how to approach the hard-to-have conversations.
• Use the eSafety guide to learn more about popular apps, games and social networking sites. • Explore eSafety young people together and discuss topics such as online hate and violent or inappropriate content. • Learn how to report illegal content.
Contact with strangers Unwanted contact is any type of online communication that your teen finds unpleasant or confronting, or that leads them into a situation where they may be harmed. At worst, it can involve ‘grooming’ — building a relationship with a teen in order to sexually abuse them. To help your teen: • Learn and discuss what children can do in situations where they might feel unsafe. • Explore eSafety Young People together, then discuss unwanted contact — signs to look out for. • Learn about the features of apps that can expose teens to contact with strangers by exploring our eSafety guide.
esafety.gov.au
Cyberbullying Cyberbullying is using technology to bully a person, hurt or scare them. eSafety can help with the removal of serious cyberbullying content. To help: • Explore eSafety Young People to help you discuss what cyberbullying is, the line between banter and bullying and what to do if your teen has been called a bully. • Use the eSafety guide to show your teen how to block and report users that make them feel uncomfortable and how to adjust app settings.
Resources • Download the online safety guide for parents and carers — available in 5 languages. • Use online safety basics to explore technology issues with your child, negotiate rules and get to know the technology. • Refer to eSafety’s taming the technology to set screen time tools and parental controls. • Read eSafety’s privacy and your child to help manage privacy and safety settings. It also offers advice about how to check location settings. • Explore the big issues and find out more about cyberbullying, online pornography, time online, gaming, unwanted contact and grooming. • Check eSafety’s skills and advice resources—establishing good habits, hard to have conversations and using parental controls. • Show your child how to contact Kids Helpline or other support services and learn the details of Parentline in your state or territory. • Be smart and secure when choosing tech gifts for children by reviewing the eSafety gift guide. • If you have children under five, read eSafety Early Years for more information and resources. • For parents of teens, visit eSafety Young People. • Look at eSafety Parents for advice, resources and links specifically tailored for parents’ needs.
References eSafety Research
esafety.gov.au
Better conversations about gaming for families When it comes to online gaming, there can be a disconnect between what children experience and what they hear adults saying. Bridging this gap will help children to have safer and more positive online experiences.
Key points Children are more likely to seek help when a parent or carer: • encourages them to talk with them if they have issues • gets involved by playing games with them or shows an interest by asking open questions about the game they’re playing • learns about their gaming interests and how it benefits them.
How to have better conversations with children about gaming See the benefits of gaming What kids hear you say: ‘I really don’t like that game. Why don’t you go find something better to do with your time?’ What we know: Children learn and grow through play. As a form of play, gaming offers a range of benefits. When children see their gaming is valued, they are more likely to share their experiences – both positive and negative. Better conversations sound like: ‘I can see you really enjoy that game. What do you like about it?’ 1. Talk to them about the benefits they experience. 2. Get to know the games they are playing and help them find new games that match their motivations and skills.
eSafety.gov.au
Research* shows:
52% 32% of children
of teens
want their parents or carers to play with them.
Connect through game play What kids hear you say: ‘Why don’t you spend time with your family or friends instead of being glued to that computer game?’ What we know: Most online games provide opportunities to play with friends, find community and build social skills. Gaming can also be an opportunity for families to connect. Many children want to game with their parents or carers or would like them to game with them more. If you’re not confident about gaming, or young people refuse to co-play, you can still connect by getting involved with the game they're playing. Better conversations sound like: ‘Who do you like to play with? Is there a game that we could play together? What character is your favourite?’ 1. Get involved by watching or playing with them or show an interest by asking questions about the action or storyline in the game. 2. During gameplay, talk about the skills they are building and celebrate their achievements.
Choose the right amount of game play for your family What children hear: ‘All you ever do is play that game!’ What we know: Many parents worry about time online. The right amount will look different for every child and family. Focus on the quality of their play, as well as getting the right balance. What are they getting out of it? Are they getting enough time to sleep, be physically active or connect with friends offline? If you're concerned about your child’s mental health, you should seek support from a mental health professional. Get support before you decide to restrict access to games because this may impact their wellbeing. Better conversations sound like: ‘I found a game I think you would enjoy, but before we start, let’s work out a plan together to make sure you fit everything in.’ 1. Access game reviews on Common Sense Media to understand and select games with learning opportunities and values that best suit your child and family. 2. Work with them to find time for gaming. You might find eSafety’s Family Tech Agreements helpful to create shared expectations.
Levelling up to stay safe: Young people's experiences navigating the joys and risks of online gaming. February 2024.
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eSafety.gov.au
Manage risks and ensure safety What children hear: ‘‘Don’t talk to strangers in-game!’ What we know: Instead of focusing on strangers, it's important that children know the red flags of unsafe contact, including someone trying to be friendly too quickly, asking them to go on a different platform or private space, or doing something inappropriate or sexual. For young children, put in place safeguards that restrict risky features (like communicating with people they don’t know). As they grow, build their skills so they can play with others and not miss out on the social benefits. Most gaming experiences are positive and children are often helping others. Better conversations sound like: ‘I’m glad you're having fun with friends online. Let’s talk about safe and unsafe behaviours in games. And remember, I’m always here to help, even if you feel like you’ve made a mistake.’ 1. Encourage your child to talk to you if they experience an issue while they are gaming. Let them know you are there to support them. 2. Read The eSafety Guide to get a better understanding of risky features in games. These can be managed via parental or user controls.
eSafety.gov.au
Screen time for your child – 7 tips There is a lot of conflicting advice and emerging research around screen time. But, the right amount of screen time can depend on a range of factors like your child’s age and maturity, the kind of content they are consuming, their learning needs and your family routine. It can be easy to focus only on the clock and how long your child is spending in front of the screen, but the quality and nature of what they are doing online, and your involvement are just as important. Consider your child’s screen use in the context of their overall health and wellbeing – for example, is online time getting in the way of their sleep and exercise? Is it impacting on their face-to-face connections with family and friends? The answers to these questions will guide you and help strike the right balance of online and offline activities for your child.
1. Be involved Sharing screen time and online activities like gaming with your child helps you gauge the appropriateness of what they are doing and manage potential risks. It’s also a great way to start conversations with your child about their online experiences.
2. Work with your child to set boundaries for screen use If you decide that setting screen time limits is right for you and your child, discuss these new rules with your child. Older children are more likely to cooperate if they have been part of the decisionmaking process. Colourful pictures or charts of daily limits and other important activities is a fun way to get younger children on board.
3. Be clear about the consequences of not switching off Part of our role as parents is to set clear limitations and boundaries. The same applies to technology limitations so, being clear and consistent about the consequences for your child if they do not stick to these rules is paramount. The Raising Children Network provides some useful tools and advice.
esafety.gov.au/parents
4. Set device-free zones and times at home Device-free zones can help you manage your family’s digital use. Here are some ideas for setting digital boundaries within your home: • no devices in the bedroom for younger children • all screens off in bedrooms after a certain time for older children • all screens off at least one hour before planned bedtime • all family members switch off at dinner time • charge devices overnight in a place your child cannot access
6. U se tech tools to help manage access There are robust products and device functions which allow you to see which apps are being used in your home and for how long. But try not to use these tools to secretly monitor your child. Instead, be open about the process and check the whole family’s usage, including your own. Start with Google Family Link for Android devices or parental controls and Screen Time for iPhone/iPad.
7. Lead by example Your behaviour is one of the most effective ways to help your child develop a positive digital mindset. Show your child you can put down your device too.
5. Ask your child to explain their screen use Get your child in the habit of explaining why they want to be in front of a screen or online. It’s a great way to get them thinking about their own digital habits and balancing screen time with other activities.
esafety.gov.au/parents