Modern Bullying

BY ALEX PARKER-ROGERS

If an adult brings up the subject of bullying, an eye-roll from a teen typically follows.

Having had our consciousnesses develop alongside our favorite social media platforms, we struggle to take adults who lack the same online literacy seriously when they lecture us on cyberbullying. They try to relate to our struggles by sharing anecdotes from a high school experience so foreign we associate bullying with cheesy 80s movies. This divide between generations causes instances of modern bullying to slip under the radar of teachers and administrators. Still, by sharing our experiences, we can bridge this gap and work together to make Sequoia a safer place for students and staff alike.

How has bullying changed and why isn’t it as obvious?

Though bullying looks different today, it falls under the same general criteria.The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) define it as “unwanted aggressive behavior by another youth or group of youths who are not siblings or current dating partners; bullying involves an observed or perceived power imbalance and is often repeated.”

While this definition captures the experiences of many, key differences make modern bullying difficult for adults to detect. Youth today favor lowering their voices and acting friendly or sarcastic over making outright cruel comments.

Junior Peyton White shares this belief and adds that the internet contributes to the invisibility of present-day bullying.

“I feel [bullying is less visible] because people are becoming more secretive about it. Like, we’re more sarcastic about it. Plus, most bullying is online now,” White said.

Because teens’ social lives are impacted by social media, so too are cases of bullying. Many note that cyberbullying is rarely classified as such due to a general lack of familiarity with the online language teens use.

“Some adults will think it’s nothing since it’s on social media. Different generations are more old school and won’t understand if something online is cyberbullying,” sophomore Kayla Mai Pinell said.

Victims who are offline or outside their bully’s communities are also unaware or unable to get help. Messages, videos and photos posted on private accounts or sent only to some can go unnoticed by administrators seeking to discipline cyberbullies.

White notes this leads to a wider range of victims left in the dark.

“With cyberbullying, it’s just broader with who’s getting bullied and how they’re being bullied, because some people aren’t online, so they don’t know they’re being bullied,” White said.

Overall, students with more societal power still attack students with less. If in the past this looked like the jocks picking on the nerds, today it looks like students who adhere to social norms or hierarchies targeting students who don’t.

Kayla Mai Pinell

“People that I’m seeing bullied the most are LGBTQ kids, people of color, people whose families are lower income, neurodivergent people or anyone seen as different,” senior Sabrina Solon said.

How are neurodivergent students targeted?

Neurodivergence refers to neurotypes that aren’t “typical.” The types of neurodivergence that I’ve noticed face the most ridicule are attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and autism, as struggling with social interaction can be a symptom. Autistic people especially don’t pick up on social hierarchies or cues, which can lead to their isolation from school communities.

In my classes, I’ve noticed students who exhibit autistic traits being treated like forms of entertainment rather than human beings. Due to social struggles, their behavior is often perceived as unfit for their current environment, which other students seem to find amusing. I’ve noticed neurotypical students will act friendly toward autistic students while purposefully provoking reactions from them for their friends to laugh at. The student is unaware they’re not in on the joke and that their new “friends” only see them as a spectacle. Teachers either don’t realize this is happening because it seems wholesome or let it happen because “at least the student is being included,” but something needs to be done.

Autistic students or those who can’t recognize social cues are also bullied directly. I’ve noticed after they’re called on in class, their classmates will turn to their friends, roll their eyes or giggle because they find the way the student answered the question “annoying.” People groan after being sat next to neurodivergent kids and have after-class conversations about how much they dislike them.

“I see people mocking neurodivergent kids, and not necessarily because they’re neurodivergent, but because of the [neurodivergent] traits they have. It’s in the tone of voice they use to imitate the person or standing behind them and making hand gestures that mock their physical appearance,” Solon said.

This behavior continues because of ignorance about neurodivergence. Because neurodivergent students are more susceptible to bullying, students should be educated from a young age about what autism looks like and that it’s not okay to exclude anyone due to differing social abilities.

Is Sequoia doing enough?

Another factor keeping bullying alive is the way schools punish it when incidents are brought to their attention. With the clashing goals of conflict resolution and discipline, Sequoia’s administrators aren’t meeting their student body’s need for bullies to face repercussions.

Pinell explains that when she brought past conflict to the school, the students involved didn’t face the consequences she felt they should’ve.

“I’ve gotten into situations before, and they brought me into a room with rainbows and crystals and told me everything was gonna be okay.They made someone say sorry to me, and I feel like that’s not the way to approach a situation, especially when the person obviously did something wrong. Like, you should be punished,” Pinell said.

Later, when Pinell was cyberbullied, she chose not to report it due to past frustrations with Sequoia’s disciplinary methods.

“I feel like if I were to say something, I’d be called a snitch, and the school would bring me into some meditation room and make them say sorry to me. It makes me feel like I can’t say anything,” Pinell said.

How can students take accountability?

Bullying begins with students’ desire to separate themselves from those outside the peer group they wish to be a part of. Through bullying, students communicate to their friends that they are different from their target and, therefore, worthy of being in their community. For example, if students are insecure about their fashion or their position in a group that dresses similarly to them, they may bully alternative people’s styles. If someone wants their friends to think they’re funny, they may mock neurodivergent people’s tendency to miss jokes. We need to feel secure in our social standings and friendships so we don’t feel the need to protect them by hurting others.

People with lower positions in social hierarchies likely face systemic issues including, racism, homophobia and classism, on top of having a toxic high school experience. Most neurodivergent people will also face ableism for the rest of their lives. Choosing not to be a bully is crucial because it ensures you aren’t taking advantage or contributing to these power dynamics and are positively changing society.

How is students’ choice of dress targeted?

Because students’ outward appearances are the most obvious indicators of their identities, students who dress outside mainstream trends or social norms make up a large demographic of unseen bullying victims. This is the case for students who dress in accordance with subcultures they identify with. These include scene, goth, alternative, emo, grunge, punk and others.

Online or on campus, these students are called names that adults don’t discipline because they may not know they are derogatory.

“People who dress alternatively at school will get called names in the hallways. They’ll get barked at, or they’ll get called emo,” Pinell said.

To a nearby adult, this behavior isn’t perceived as malicious because bullies aren’t insulting directly, so the student likely won’t receive justice.

Adults also don’t pick up on the teasing of students who dress uniquely because it’s incredibly subtle.

White, who describes her sense of style as fancy, vampiric and vintage, has experienced negative comments on her clothes that go unnoticed by adults.

“When I started dressing in my style at school, people were kind of sarcastic and rude about it. [They would say], ‘Oh, I like that shirt’, but sarcastic, or I just get outright rude comments,” White said.

If teens express themselves differently from what’s expected of people who share their identities, they can also face ridicule.

This is true for Pinell who has gotten negative comments from students at Sequoia due to her personal style not fitting their standards of how LGBTQ students of color should dress.

“I’ve gotten bullied before based on the way I dress. I don’t look very gay, so people [will tell me that I am not gay], or will just call me straight or whitewashed,” Pinell said.

LGBTQ students from another high school also cyberbullied her via Snapchat.

“In a video [of LGBTQ students from another high school], I was told I have a caked face, that I’m ugly, that I should kill myself,” Pinell said.