WHO WANTS A
“DIAMOND DAY” RETIREMENT?
R. Reneé Kennedy Retirement Specialist and Insurance Broker
WHO WANTS A “DIAMOND DAY” RETIREMENT?
R. Reneé Kennedy Retirement Specialist and Insurance Broker
Copyright © 2019
acknowledgements
I
will be forever thankful to my wonderful husband and best friend for letting me have wings to fly — and getting out of my way so I can. We have enjoyed a roller-coaster ride of life and have come out on the other side with lots of fun things in our future. Our children are such amazing adults and I love and cherish each one of them for their individual strengths, their friendship and the motivation they give me to be the best I can be. I give thanks for their sweet spouses and the children they are raising in patience to be an asset to society while making them ready to help change the world and take their place in it with special abilities and grace. I am so thankful for my parents and my siblings. I love them so much and choose to remember fondly fun times over hardships. The picture I paint in this work is not meant to disparage. I only want to be honest, and hope it will keep others from making bad decisions. Piano and art teachers, dance teachers, coaches and church leaders have all helped me develop my talents, and I appreciate them for putting up with me and making me shoot for excellence in all those areas. Close friends have also been a great comfort to me and you know who you are. Thanks to Rasberry Producer Group for this idea and helping me see it to fruition. It’s been a bit painful but very therapeutic. Last, but certainly not least, I’m grateful to God for His hand in my life. It is made evident on a regular basis and He lets me know that He truly is in charge. He is there to help us carry our burdens if we will let go and let him. This is my attempt to let things go and move on.
Chapter
ONE “that’s your tale and i’m sittin’ on mine” - Mary Ruth Holt AKA: Mamaw
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“that’s your tale and i’m sittin’ on mine” - Mary Ruth Holt AKA: Mamaw
I
had wonderful grandparents that couldn’t stand my dad. It took me a long time to understand why. They were simple people, they weren’t perfect, but I loved them so much. They were the one true constant in my life. Every time my mom got really mad at my dad, she’d go home to them. That’s when my mamaw would say, “You might as well laugh as to cry”. She loved to laugh and have fun. My Mamaw was also full of other old sayings and when she thought someone was lying she would always say, “That’s your tale and I’m sittin’ on mine.” My Dad had a way of exaggerating things and I think that was part of the reason they didn’t like him very much. She was a feisty little lady who was pretty short but she had a twoedged sword tongue that could cut your head off and you wouldn’t even realize you were bleeding! I think my Dad was a little bit afraid of what she may say next, ha, ha. I was 36 years old when she died. She had struggled with Alzheimer’s for years and we were glad she didn’t have to suffer any longer. She was the closest person I had ever lost. It was very spiritual but also scary.
My Mother, Mamaw, and I on my wedding day.
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It is a tradition in our faith to dress the deceased in temple clothing before the viewing and the funeral. It has to be done by a member of our faith due to the sacred nature of the clothing. When it came time to dress my Mamaw, I was very nervous and a little freaked out. Of course I wanted to fulfill this final duty out of love, but she was not there. Her spirit had gone. The day came and I went down to the funeral home with my mother, my Mamaw’s sister — “Aunt Pearl” and my sister. It was raining that day, so the thunder made things even more depressing and dreary. We went into the room and there was my deceased Mamaw lying on the table! My sister and I were shocked but trying not to show it. My Great Aunt Pearl didn’t react at all because she was a hairdresser and this wasn’t her “first rodeo” in the funeral home fixing hair for a deceased member of the family. She had done all her sisters’ hair for years and she wanted to do this for my grandmother. So, she just started humming and working on her hair. I was watching her trying to understand how she could do that. My mother and I were going to put on the clothing and my sister was putting on her stockings and special shoes. As we were about to lift her body to get the dress under her, there was a huge boom of thunder and the lights went out! OH MY GOSH!!!! Of course, my sister and I screamed. A few minutes later, the man at the funeral home ran in with a flashlight to see if we were alright. Our eyes must have looked like saucers, because my great aunt started laughing and true to her “Steel Magnolia” self she patted me on the back and said, “Why honey, it ain’t the dead you need to be a scared of, it’s the living.” It’s funny now but it wasn’t at the time. We finished our work and she had a beautiful service but I’ll never forget that experience. However, just like Aunt Pearl said, I do believe “it’s the living” that we should be scared of but I don’t mean people. While that is certainly a reality in this day and age, it’s the longevity of living that I have seen take it’s toll on many retirees.
Chapter
TWO the pains of reality
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the pains of reality
Y
ou walk into the average home — three bedrooms, two baths, with a large great room, a very small kitchen which shows the family has a leaning towards large family gatherings but that the Mom is not big on cooking. The kitchen used to be called an “efficiency kitchen”, and looks nothing like the farmhouse kitchens that are popular today. The recliners are a mainstay to the comfort of the inhabitants, who have been married for 55+ years. Separate bedrooms due to health problems have put more than just space between the two. Many years of raising a family and trying to provide for five children have left them tired and drained, but satisfied that they did the best they could. Each of the two has a story of a different childhood ranging from literally The North to The South. Their individual life experiences were so different: happy, sad, good and bad, yet similar in their desires to leave and find what they lacked in greener pastures. One growing up in apartments in the city and the other growing up in “shotgun” houses in the country. One was the third child of four and the other an only child — which taught them what they didn’t want as well as what they did. Their life experiences have molded them into the people they are. Both decided they wanted something better for their children and they accomplished that. Along with the layout of the house, you notice there are two walkers, a wheelchair, and a cane. There is a helper who comes in six hours a day for the man and six hours a week for the woman. There is no money to pay for the caretakers, so they are at the mercy of the government Medicaid program. And yet, they are grateful for that program. It’s ironic that the program is called, “Choices”, but they don’t have any. Falls are a constant in their daily routine. The firemen have a personal relationship with these two as they are called out so often. The man has Parkinson’s disease and the woman has both heart issues and a lot of other problems which make it impossible function at a high level of happiness. Yet, somehow, they wake up trying to be happy with where they are. His legs are weeping again with edema, which is common most days. Eating is a source of happiness — the instant gratification is all that is left. Sugar is a source of energy and a short-lived high, which can induce a coma-like state if taken to extremes, doughnuts, ice cream and soda are his drugs of choice these days. Dreams are a safe place to relive the “glory days” of a successful athlete. Books, puzzles and TV are another source of comfort that help whittle down the endless hours of the day.
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Watching movies until late into the morning hours “helps the next day go by much quicker, if you sleep half of it away”. Doctor visits and in-home therapy give them something to do and somewhere to go that doesn’t cost too much, because they use their VA benefits. Their decision to join the military has really paid off. When the family comes to visit, they are happy for a time — until everyone leaves, and that’s when their surroundings become their prison again. Prison may be a harsh word, but for them, they are truly trapped by a fixed income and health issues that prevent them from doing what they long for. Retirement and old age is really not what they thought it would be. The interesting thing about their heritage is that they both come from royal family lines and include famous people like George Washington and William I, Conqueror, King of England as well as King Phillip IV of France. They can also trace their ancestry in America to back before the Mayflower but does include other ancestors that actually came to America on that great ship. Maybe their ancestors didn’t make very good financial decisions either and that’s why their fortunes didn’t stick? While their ancient ancestors may have enjoyed luxuries like castles and diamonds, this certainly is not the “Diamond Day” of retirement they had dreamed about.
Chapter
THREE life as i knew it
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life as i knew it My mother and father met in the Navy. They weren’t in the Navy very long, but we moved from Corpus Christi, TX to Chicago to New Orleans, to Mississippi etc., and finally settled in Memphis. We moved 17 times before I was 14 years old! My father was constantly looking for greener pastures with his work, and it always evaded him. You see, he was unhappy, and he became addicted to golf. I know that may sound a bit crazy, but it happens. Alcoholism and depression runs on both sides of my family. It is in my DNA and I have always been afraid of that fact. Knowing those tendencies are built in from generations back, I have never been tempted to drink. My Dad used golf like some people use drugs. It cost him a lot of good jobs and his reputation. Addictive behaviors manifest themselves in different ways for different people. They can be very expensive and not just financially. I am the oldest of five children and that says a lot about who I am. Many times, I felt like I had to be the parent. I remember driving the car to the A&P Grocery Store when I was just 12 years old to pick up milk and bread! I cleaned the house, cooked and took care of my siblings. The main reason why I had to help so much was because when my sister was 7 years old, she started having seizures. It caused her to spend a month in the hospital at a time. She was allergic to everything and became the poster child for her condition. I was about 10 and I was the likely candidate for helping at home. My mother always tried to wake up happy, but it usually turned into a bad day, most days.
There were no cell phones back then but I distinctly remember her calling the golf courses in town looking for my dad. When they started lying to her, it changed who she was. However, she taught me to love movies and books and the escape from reality that they offered. She made sure I took dance lessons, by her keeping the accounting books for the teacher. When my dad lost his job again, she cleaned my piano teacher’s house so that I could keep having lessons, and she was proud of me when I performed in recitals or talent shows. The whole time, my father griped about her letting me do those things and how much it cost. You see, he was a successful athlete and played on the Navy basketball team. He thought sports were what I needed to do to “learn discipline and get a good scholarship”. So, he made me do that too.
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Along with singing and dancing, I played basketball and golf but I didn’t get serious about sports until I was in the 8th grade. I always felt just a little behind, but I worked very hard to catch up. Our family motto was: “We never quit”. The team I played on was very tough. It was made up of rough girls who came from very tough environments. In my junior year, we were in line for a state championship and we came in second place.
My high school basketball team.
The nickname my dad gave me was “Splinters”, because I sat on the bench so much! I worked hard in practice, but I just didn’t have the “killer” attitude of going for the ball. But, I was a great shooter and played defense when no one else would. One time during my sophomore year in high school, we had a very long practice session. It was about four hours and my dad was substituting for the coach. I kept telling him something felt wrong with my side but he told me to “suck it up” and “run it out”. We usually practiced about three to four hours a day during the pre-season. It wasn’t uncommon to have your side hurt after running lots of ladders. This day was different. I felt like I was going to faint. I finished practice, went home and lay on the couch and took about eight Tylenol over a five hour period. But nothing helped. My father
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had gone to work and then to play golf. When my mother got home, she called a family friend and they took me to the hospital. There were no cell phones to call my dad. It ended up being an appendicitis attack. I had a fever and they took me into emergency surgery immediately. They didn’t have laparoscopic “keyhole” techniques back then, so it was a very serious surgery that created a long scar. When they took my appendix out, they saw that it had gangrene and had almost ruptured. I should’ve died from that alone — but I didn’t. Later on, I developed an infection from that surgery. It made me so sick that they had to open up my wound again. When they looked inside, they found a sponge that had been left in there! It could’ve killed me. I was in the hospital for another four days and my father only came to visit me once, for five minutes. He’d go to work, say all the right things, make a few calls and then go play golf. My mom was with the kids, so I was alone. That was normal for me. I kept my head down, and tried not to get close to people. I never knew if we’d up and leave them, again.
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Chapter
FOUR God takes the wheel
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God takes the wheel I don’t want to give you impression that my life was always crazy. There were good times. However, it was usually feast or famine. When my dad had a good job and we had what we needed, things were good. We loved each other and had lots of picnics and fun. My parents taught me that I could do anything or be anything I wanted to be. My mother got her Bachelor of Science degree at age 64, and that truly showed us she believed that. The best thing they did for us was take us to church. In the beginning they came from different religious backgrounds. That was also a topic of contention until my dad capitulated and went to my mom’s church. We learned from them and others what to do and what not to do. My life’s core values and faith have been the two things that have sustained me through the ups and downs of life. I believe that we are all children of God and that we lived as a family, with God, before we came to this earth. I believe that families are forever. When we die, we pass through a veil of remembrance, of who we were before we came to this earth. We were sent here to be tested and tried, to see if we will be a good person of our own volition. I believe that everything we do matters, and that we can live with God again after we’ve been judged by Jesus Christ. We are all saved by the grace of Jesus Christ and through his atonement. I truly try to live by the “Golden Rule” and strive to keep all the commandments as best as I can. It may seem outdated, but I know it has helped me be happier. It’s helped me avoid making some of the mistakes that others do. I would never impose my beliefs on others, and I am just so grateful to live in this country where we have freedom of religion. I have been very active in my church and I’ve held leadership positions in various auxiliaries for women and children, over many years. I have played the piano and organ for different functions, and I’ve enjoyed being the choir director for too many years to count. I enjoy writing the Easter and Christmas Programs every year. It’s a process of inspiration that is close to giving birth. I’ve written and directed various plays and musicals over the years, and I know there is power in music to uplift and sustain people through life’s deepest trials. When I die, it is critical for me to be able to see God, and know that I tried to do everything in my power to help others, by using the talents, blessings and gifts He has given me.
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Chapter
FIVE a path to a new beginning
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a path to a new beginning
M
y early dreams were to be an archaeologist. We went to Chicago one year and saw the exhibit of King Tutankhamen. We got to the museum at 3:00 in the morning and camped out to get tickets. It was all very exotic and I wanted to find buried treasure all over the world! That was until I realized that you were always dirty and there were spiders and bats in lots of dark, scary places where you had to dig. Yuck! So then, I thought being a journalist or a television news anchor might be a lot better. I have always loved the news and I still watch it every day. I’m fascinated by world events, and while I hate the political corruption that exists, there is something very compelling about the intricacies of Washington and our Global Economy. I was on my way to Brigham Young University (BYU), and had my housing and everything arranged, when I met my husband in February of my senior year in high school. He had just returned from a two-year mission in London, England and was four years older than me. All my friends thought I had lost my mind dating a man with a mustache who was so much older.
My first go at Journalism. Yearbook staff as the editor.
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I remember my 12th grade AP English teacher telling me that she was going to rescind her letter to BYU if I didn’t stop sleeping in class. She was my first class in the mornings. Steve and I were staying up way too late and I used to be a star student of hers. So, I dropped from an “A” to a “B”, no big deal, right? I deserved it but I had more important things on my mind. Marriage wasn’t really one of them until we grew so close it hurt to be apart. Do you remember what that felt like? We still feel that way today. Steve and I were married in Washington, D.C. on September 15, 1981. My mother asked me the other day, “Why are you and Steve joined at the hip all the time?” I said, “We love being together and we have fun.” I think that concept was truly foreign to her after her experiences with my dad. 38 years later, four successful children, and eleven grandchildren later, I know we did the right thing. It’s not always easy to do things that are unconventional, but it’s always worked for us.
Steve and I at prom.
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Still golfing together.
Our first home.
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Chapter
SIX
work and family
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work and family
R
ight after we were married, I started working as a receptionist at Juvenile Court. Originally, I worked a 250-line extension switchboard (my kids don’t even know what that is!) with a lady who could’ve been with Ma Bell during WWII. She even kinda looked like Lily Tomlin from the show, “Laugh In”, saying, “One ringy-dingy,…two ringy-dingy.” I took great joy in teasing her and beating her connecting lines. Then I memorized all of them just for fun, to drive her crazy. She was like another grandma to me. We took pride in our work and made sure that everyone felt welcome in Judge Turner’s Court. I learned a lot from her and the deputies there. As time went on, I paid more attention to the court cases and it made me so sad to hear all the desperation and the contention that was there due to child support and child abuse cases. It really hurt my spirit to see so many people in pain. I remember one case in particular, where a five-year-old boy came in with cigarette burns and extension cord burns all over his body. I thought I would surely puke. It was so evil! How could that happen? It made me want to kill (oh wait, that’s one of the top 10 on the commandment list) or at least seriously hurt the person who did it. It was his own father and it wasn’t the only bad thing that he had done to him! Our society has become desensitized to hearing about abused victims but for one so young and naïve, I was incensed at the commonality of it in low income families. Why are some people so bad? I have never understood it. I will always fight for someone who is mistreated or taken advantage of, for that very reason. It doesn’t always make me popular, but I sleep better at night because of it. It’s also why I am passionately protective of my clients and their future. There were good days at Juvenile Court too, like seeing a woman with five children get a generous child support settlement from a rich husband who suddenly tired of his life with her and the kids. Vindication is sweet. It was wonderful to have such a good job at a young age. I learned a lot about people and saw a side of society that I really didn’t know existed. It wasn’t long until I was promoted to Director’s Assistant and learned all about payroll and human resources work in a government bureaucracy. I didn’t get paid a lot but I enjoyed the experience and people I met as well as good benefits.
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A year later, we had our first baby girl and working was much more difficult. She was having trouble with her ears and was sick a lot. She’d run a fever and it would go as high as 105/106 degrees. I didn’t even know that was possible! When that happened, she’d go into febrile seizures. It would come up so quick! One such time, I was directing a play at church and Steve had to take her in the ambulance. It happened twice before we knew what needed to be done. When it came time for her to have surgery, I resigned from my position to be with her during her recovery. After the surgery, she did very well and grew to become a responsible, loving, talented woman who got her degree in accounting but decided she loved photography more. She has a successful business and helps her husband with his chiropractic practice. She is a great mother to five of our grandchildren and she really has never been sick again. After I was sure she was recovered, I took a job at an investment management firm in 1984. It was a temporary assignment covering for a woman who was on sick leave, but I discovered I loved it! They managed large pensions and 401(k) accounts for large corporations and municipalities all over the country. It was funny, I couldn’t figure out why everyone was going out for surgery. It turns out, the firm had a “boob job” benefit that the office girls were lining up for. There were about eight girls and with their staggered recovery times that kept me in the job for about two years. I am not kidding! Isn’t that crazy? When the job ended because the last lady came back from sick leave, I needed to find something more permanent. Suddenly, I was offered a job at Goldman Sachs, working in the “cage”. That’s where they did wire transfers, kept the blotter, monies and handled the bearer bond transactions. I was like a sponge and I was so intrigued with the financial markets. I learned everything I could, from some of the best minds in the field. This was mainly a bond house and big commercial banks were the majority of our customers. We traded big money in big ways. There wasn’t anything we couldn’t handle. Options, commodities, short sales, REITS, bonds and stocks were the orders on a minute to minute basis. It was intoxicating! However, October 19th, 1987 was a day I never will forget. The market dropped 22% in one day due to computer sell offs. It was so awful! I remember seeing brokers who were in shock and some who were so distraught I was afraid they would do something crazy. The Wall Street gurus said there were computer safeguards to keep this from happening, but that people were very greedy and took more risks due to those safeguards being in place. I remember seeing one of the assistants cleaning out her purse and she was putting “crusty pennies” — you know the ones that have been in the bottom too long — in the trash. When
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the broker saw that, he freaked out and went over to the trash and fished them out. He yelled at her that those “pennies were what made the difference between a $999,999.99 and $1,000,000 portfolio”. It made me wonder if he was short more than a few pennies that day. There were lots of people there that taught me about the value of money and how to invest it wisely. After our second baby girl was born, I left Goldman Sachs. I knew I wanted to do more than be in the “cage” or just put in trades. It was very stressful with people yelling and on the phone all the time. There was no room for error and there was no place for me to go from where I was.
I must’ve been crazy, people just didn’t leave Goldman Sachs, benefits were just too good. They gave me three months off as paid maternity leave, but I was never good at leaving my new babies. Our second baby girl was born a week after we lost my father-in-law… in the same hospital. It was a tough time, but shortly thereafter her laughter and joy for living was a soothing balm for a very sad time. She continues to bring us happiness and makes us laugh all the time. She has the voice of an angel and has two businesses that she and her husband run very well. While I was home with her, we started a commercial sewing business for Methodist Hospital. My husband worked there, and they were looking for someone to repair patient gowns. He knew I had sewn a few outfits and Halloween costumes, so he thought, “Reneé could do that”. Makes sense that I could do a sewing business, right? When he broached the subject, I looked at him like he had two horns! I remember learning to sew a skirt. My mother made me take the zipper out again and again. I hated to sew from that point on, but I could do a few things. Luckily, sewing a straight line was one of them. When patients had emergency situations, the gowns had to be cut off. They were never cut off in a straight line, but they could be repaired. So, we got an industrial five-horsepower sewing machine and I sewed about 800-900 gowns a month at a $1apiece. It helped pay a lot of bills and allowed me to stay home with my baby until she got ready for preschool. After that, I joined Morgan Keegan as an assistant trader and loved it. However, after a while, I started seeing brokers churning accounts. Back then I didn’t even know that’s what it was called. It broke my heart to see average people who couldn’t afford to lose much try to keep trading when they shouldn’t. However, their advisors would call and tell them about the latest stock/bond/option to buy or sell, and they would give permission because they really didn’t want to admit that they didn’t know what to do. I don’t know why I have always felt so strong about the injustices in the world but I’m definitely
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seeing a pattern here. I did what I was asked but it just didn’t sit well with me. I decided to get my series 63, 6, and 7. But before that time, our third daughter was about to be born. As usual, it was a tough pregnancy. I remember going on break, throwing up, brushing my teeth and going back to work. I had an odd feeling and we found out she was in the breech position. I could barely walk sometimes, but I soldiered on. The night before I was about to be induced, she turned. The next day the doctor told me to wait a week and see if she would come on her own. I couldn’t believe it, I wanted to cry and cuss! I’m pretty sure I did both. She didn’t come on her own, so I went to the hospital a week later. To my utter dismay, she turned again — just 20 minutes before the induction! Breech again! I had to have an emergency c-section any way and the cord was wrapped so tightly around her neck that she was completely blue. There were no lasting effects and for that I am eternally grateful. She is a remarkable woman and to this day she beats her own drum and we wouldn’t trade her for the world. While she doesn’t actually play the drums, she often sings for people’s events at church and works hard at being a good wife and mother. She’s sweet, smart, sassy and also has her own business, she is truly a rockstar in our business and I’m so proud of her! I guess we’ve raised some great entrepreneurs or maybe they just can’t conform to taking orders from others similar to some other people I know…After she turned two, (don’t worry, there’s five years between her and our son) I went to Dean Witter, interviewed and applied for a stock-broker position. The downside was that I would have to live in New York for the whole month of January to train. My dear husband watched all three of our sweet daughters and worked very hard while I was gone. I missed them terribly. I felt like a fish out of water in New York City. I didn’t have a clue how expensive New York was. I remember a hamburger was $6 and a gallon of milk and box of cereal was $12. It only took me about two weeks to spend my allotted food budget and I had three more weeks to go. Steve sent me a box of food so I could have enough. I stayed in midtown and remember it was so noisy and cold. I took the subway every day to the World Trade Center and that was an education in and of itself. We were on the 110th floor and when the furnace came on, you could still smell smoke from the bombing that had happened in the parking garage. That had happened in October, before I got there in January. I sadly, worked with and met people who later died in the 9/11 attack. Before that occurred though, I worked very hard. I was in a “man’s world”, treated like an
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interloper, but I knew I could help retirees keep from losing so much money.
In my first year, I became “National Rookie Broker of the Year” and it was very satisfying. That was an especially big deal for a woman without a college degree and even more so for one who had three children. I remember being so tired, because we were both working and taking care of the family when we got home. It took me a solid year of studying after they went to bed to pass all those tests, but it was so worth it. Now, I had the knowledge and authority to set up conservative portfolios to help protect people’s money. My clients successfully earned between 10% and 20% and I never knew of or talked to any that were hurt by my recommendations. I’m very proud of that. In 1994, Steve started his business in the room over our garage in our home. It only took about three months for him to outgrow that and he was on his way to building a very successful business. I am so proud of him for having the courage to take a risk. Going into it, we knew that most businesses didn’t last five years. He’s currently in his 25th year of his business being successful. Steve has always cared more about people than profits and has given away a lot of money to people in need. His employees are like family, and while it may have taken him a bit longer taking that many people with him, it’s a great accomplishment. Not only has he owned his own business for over 25 years, he has served faithfully 20-30 hours a week in the church as clergy, without pay, at the same time. During the meager beginning, I continued to work to help pay the bills. It had lots of ups and downs and we both learned a lot. It was the most fierce, unforgiving school we had ever attended. The business has provided a very good lifestyle for our family and about 40 others. We were and still are living the American Dream. It’s hard to believe how much we’ve accomplished together and we gratefully acknowledge God’s help. It was during my fourth pregnancy with our son, that I knew something was seriously wrong. I was so sick, but this time it was very different from the last. I was very early in my pregnancy, still working, but I couldn’t eat anything without throwing up. I mean, a piece of toast and a cracker would make me sick. They kept telling me it was morning sickness, but I knew better. After six months of various
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tests and personal research, I talked the doctor into simulating a gallbladder attack — and that’s what it was. The problem was they had never done gallbladder surgery on anyone who was six months pregnant. I had to sign a document that said if I didn’t have the surgery, I would die and if I did have the surgery our son could die. I’ll never forget that. It was a gut-wrenching decision! I had always had trouble getting pregnant and knew this was going to be the last one for me. The surgery was a success and I went down into the medical records as the first one to have that surgery at that many weeks of pregnancy. It’s really strange and I’m not proud of it, but my gallbladder was gangrenous too! (I must be rotten on the inside, ha,ha.) This was the third time in my life when I should’ve died, but I didn’t. We were so grateful our son survived the surgery and was born without any issues. We knew God had a plan for him and he proved that, because at 18 years of age he decided to serve a mission in Brazil. He was on track to play baseball in college, but he left, learned Portuguese in six weeks and was gone for two years. It was so hard to let him do that, but he left a boy and came back a man. What an education he got in Brazil! He matured so much, and came home to tell us he wanted to learn everything Steve could teach him, so that he could take over the company business one day. He married our first and only daughter-in-law and has a beautiful baby girl. Back to me. Every, time I had another baby, my co-workers would look at me and there was little doubt as to what they were thinking. I knew they were feeling sorry for me and wondering if I even knew what caused that condition. Then, I’d just look at their boobs and see if they were real and that would make me laugh a little. It was a very materialistic environment. It was a rough time to try and have a family with all the 80/90’s excesses and “career only” women. By 1995, I left for good. We had just had our first baby boy! He was perfect and often called the “Golden Child” by his sisters, but they adored him too. My husband’s company was starting to do exceptionally well, and I needed to be home. It was hard to leave my career, but I knew I could always go back if I wanted to. A few years later, the bombing happened on 9/11. I felt guilty that I felt relieved that I no longer had to go to New York. It was a terrible day, so terrible that everyone remembers what they were doing at that time. Steve and I were on our way to Washington, D.C. for our 20th wedding anniversary. Needless to say, we made it past Nashville, heard from our niece/office manager what was going on and turned around. No one knew where the next one might be headed. We later learned that the Memphis bridge was on the list as one of the top 10 terrorist
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target list. My former co-workers told me that my old manager at Dean Witter had just left the World Trade Center to go to a meeting when it happened. People he had just had conversations with died, and he watched it all in horror from the street below. It changed his life as well as millions of other peoples’ lives. He never went back to Wall Street and neither have I. You know me well enough by now to know that being home did not mean I did nothing. Anyone who’s been a “stay at home mom” knows the work that is involved. Steve and I felt like nothing was more important than our children and we both put in plenty of time to help them progress into who they are today. Along with Steve’s business, we bought a church bookstore and I managed that for about two years until we realized that accounting wise, it was too difficult to have a service business and retail business at the same time. The kids worked at the bookstore, as well as part-time at my husband’s company during the summer and after school. It was critical that we taught them how to work and communicate with people. Our children are all hard workers, very creative, talented and musical. Of course, they just take after their father. I mean it, he’s all of those things too. He has a great voice and loves music — just as long as I don’t ask him to sing in the choir, ha, ha. One year, we gave the kids a karaoke machine for Christmas. It wasn’t just a small one, it was a huge one, with Peavey speakers and everything. Bigger is better was Steve’s opinion of stereo equipment back then! And he was right even though it was expensive. He had the girls choose between the stereo equipment and a computer for Christmas. Of course, we did both and once again, I thought he was crazy, but he had a plan. Steve built a big stage with lights in the garage, complete with a New York City skyline mural in the background, and the girls started singing every day. This was when they started to hone their skills. They had been singing for years but now it was different. They really practiced for hours without being reminded or asked. All the kids got really good.
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Precious piano and voice students.
The next Christmas, Steve had another crazy idea. He wanted to find a worthy cause and put on a show on Christmas Day! Really!? So, we called several places and decided we would do a show for St. Peter’s Home for Girls. When we first arrived, they had bad attitudes and big chips on their shoulders but when Lindsay sang Mariah Carey’s song, they changed, like someone pulled a switch. That was followed by Steve and Josh singing Elvis’, “Blue Christmas” and yeah, Steve was hamming it up and they called Josh, “Baby Elvis”. I think he was about seven years old. Shortly thereafter, they requested songs they wanted and it was a Christmas we will never forget. The kids donated the money from several toys they would’ve gotten to buy gifts and put together goodie bags. Seeing those girls smile and accepting our hugs was a very special gift to us that day. After several years, I had the idea to use our music equipment to teach other children how to sing and had them do songs they loved. It was very successful, and my students had a lot of fun. What kid doesn’t at some point dream of being a rock star or love to be a singing diva? I would only do lessons twice a month, as I knew most families could not handle once a week along with sports lessons too. The moms loved that. Josh really learned music at this time for several years and I had quite a few boys in lessons. The popular songs I used along with the microphones and sound system made it very cool and quite fun for me.
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It was at that same time I got certified to teach American Red Cross Swimming Lessons in the summer. It was a great way for my children to learn how to teach swimming and again, how to serve others and work. We would have about 40 kids a week broken up into age and abilities, and train them for about six weeks. It was difficult when we had rainy summers, but we did it. The kids all helped me keep the children safe and we had a fun time meeting lots of people. I developed a unique way of teaching, by using lots of games, props and toys. I still get calls from parents who want me to teach their kids music and swimming. It was hard work, but I felt very strong about helping other children learn to swim and respect the water, not fear the water. It is an epidemic that still exists in some cultures today and has been perpetuated for generations. Before our son graduated, I knew I wanted to go back to work but I did not want to go back to being a stockbroker. Black Monday has always stayed with me, and with the correction that happened in 2008, I honestly felt that the markets were over-valued or in someone else’s hands. It’s always a bull market until it’s not, and there is no such thing as timing the markets. I was working at my husband’s company as a Sales and Marketing Director and I really needed a change. That’s when I got my life and health license and shortly thereafter, property and casualty license. I really wanted to understand all the insurance that was required for my husband’s company, as well as make sure that we were getting everything we needed for the best price. I learned about new health insurance regulations and combined supplemental insurance to provide extra benefits for our forty employees. Then, that led me to do commercial insurance like general liability and worker’s compensation. When my father lost his job one year, he and my mother were lifeguards at a country club. I was too young to be embarrassed but they have always taught us to be strong swimmers. My mother grew up in Florida and swam all the time. They both were lifeguards when they were young and it served our family well. That summer, I won a 30-foot platform diving contest and my family still has impromptu diving contests to this day. Our own kids have always had a pool and it has been a source of fun and happiness which continues in our grandkids lives today.
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Me and my Aunt Janet at the ocean. I had a love for water at a very early age.
I started helping close friends who had businesses and it grew from there. After trying several insurance brokers, I finally developed a partnership with Clay and Land and that is where I have my health and P&C licenses now. It was shortly thereafter that I was introduced to Rasberry Producer Group. I loved the idea of using life insurance for retirement savings plans and I knew I had found my home. Then, after for a year and a half comparing annuities, I found a way to protect a client’s principal with no downside risk and no cap on what they could earn. It is amazing what I discovered and people just don’t know it exists! What makes me passionate about what I do comes down to the life experiences I’ve had with adults in my life, my parents and lots of other people, not being prepared for emergencies. My parents let their term life insurance expire and never “invested the difference”. By the time they really needed it, they were uninsurable. I am committed to helping others not share the same fate. My life’s work found me.
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My beautiful family.
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Chapter
SEVEN compound the love
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compound the love
I
’ve been asked time and time again: where do you think I should start?
It’s nearly impossible to answer that question without knowing more about you. Most times I reply, “You just did!” You have to want to! Understating the seriousness of planning is a big step. Today, there are products and innovations in our industry that I could have only wished for in the past. One of the great advantages of technology is that we can provide our clients with so much more detailed information these days, so that you can make a much more informed decision.
I feel that transparency is the friend of the advisor who has his client’s best interest at heart. The Federal Reserve recently did a survey that said that over half of Americans could not come up with $400 if they had an emergency. That tells us everything we need to know about our culture. We live for today. Often, we don’t think about tomorrow. In school, we didn’t learn anything about saving money. Not in kindergarten, not in grade school, high school, or even college. Often, our parents never discussed money and the importance of savings with us. But I recently came across a 45-year-old whose father had taught him to begin saving 25% of everything he earned when he took his first part time job in high school. Today, he’s a multimillionaire and he’s free from most of the financial stresses that many of us have. Let me assure you: that is the exception rather than the rule. Our children are rarely given a road map. We’re told to work hard and achieve, at best.
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Our sweet grandbabies in 2015.
What if part of your legacy was built around helping your kids (or grandkids) get a head start on saving? Every time I tell this story, I get more and more excited! I have seen the uncertainties of life, even at a young age. I decided to search for an answer that would provide protection for my kids no matter where it took them. I decide to call it, “The Child Asset Builder”. The concept isn’t new, but with today’s products, it can be highly enhanced. It’s a program that includes a “fast-start” savings program as well as life insurance, critical, chronic, and terminal illness coverage. It allows the parent, grandparent or whomever is the owner, to use the money as needed as the child reaches maturity. Let’s start with the life insurance component. At a young age, life insurance costs are minimal.
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You can buy large amounts, sure, but it’s better if you “drip” the money in the policy and increase the death benefit over time. Common sense, of course. But why would you buy it when Dave Ramsey says not to by permanent life insurance? The number one factor is future insurability. Once you’re approved, it’s locked in as long as you pay the premiums to keep up the coverage. Think about that for a second. Being able to purchase life insurance at a young age, when costs are low? It makes perfect sense. No matter what happens in the future, your child is insured. Later in life, that insurance can be a great asset that can be used to help secure loans. It can also be used for more immediate needs like paying debts or providing their future family with protection. Being able to get to the cash for a wedding or down-payment on a house would be a great reason to do it. I called this the risk management aspect of our plan. It’s about making sure that no matter what occurs, our plan is self-completing. In that same thought, consider the fact that the fast-start plan includes critical, chronic, and terminal illness protection. Would it not be helpful for your family, if major events occurred that are outlined in the policy — like invasive cancer, stroke, heart attack or other serious illnesses — and you could pull cash from the death benefit portion of your life insurance based on severity? Of course it would. But let’s look at our primary reason for developing this plan. It’s known as accumulation. Many grandparents have loved this plan, because they can pay for limited years or even use a 7 pay payment to accomplish their goal of starting their grandchild on a “fast-track” to saving. It truly leaves a legacy from you, while providing comfort, knowing that you helped build early assets for you child or grandchild, so that he or she can have the additional comfort and protection they need throughout their entire life. If I just finished here, this would still be a great program. But I’d like to share how I put many of these plans together. I combine all the benefits into one policy. It’s called an “overfunded Indexed Universal Life plan”. There are many carriers, but I look for ones that have the critical, chronic, and terminal benefits. It works differently from other types of life insurance.
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It still takes out expenses and then puts the excess into bonds and fixed instruments. Like most plans, it goes a step further and buys options on an index. Depending on the carrier, there are many different options. One of the most popular ones is the one-year point-to-point strategy on the S&P 500 Index. Simply put, the money that is not taken in expenses goes into the carrier’s portfolio of bonds and fixed instruments. However, they purchase what’s known as an “option”, betting that the index will go up in the coming year. At the end of year, if the index did go up, they exercise the option and you take the gain based on the participation level and cap amount. If the market went down, the carrier simply doesn’t exercise the option and your money remains safe. Yes, it’s a bit more complex, but that’s why I’m here to help you understand it in detail, if you decide you would like to discuss it with me. This helps to minimize the expenses and life insurance portion to maximize our potential gain. After all, our number one objective is to build a solid asset that your child or grandchild can use for a lifetime. I’m often asked: how much should I put in? Well, that is strictly up to you! You decide. You decide the direction of this plan. By sitting down together, we can dream a little bit and start building the blocks for your future. One example, is putting $3,000 a year for 10 years on a 1 year old and she will have about $200,000 a year at age 65 that is tax free for 20 years and still has over a $1,000,000 in death benefit that she can access for long term care if she needs that. Imagine how much that will cost in 64 years! I believe one of the biggest problems we have today in respect of our savings is that few people teach others how to get from point A to point B. In our 401k plans, we’re told to put money in (and we do). We look at our statements and decide if we’re doing good or not. It’s hard to tell when we are always adding to it. What’s the number we need to retire? If we don’t know how much we need for retirement or life planning, what good does it do to just be putting money away! Seriously, have you ever thought about it? A lot of us believe we’ve done great if we have saved $150,000 in our 401k. What we don’t realize is that we have to live off just 4% of that money. Plus, it is ALL taxable! 4% would be $6,000 a year. If we are in a 30% tax bracket, take away $1,800 of that! That leaves us $4,200 – which has to be divided by 12, which gives us only an extra $350 a month! Oh my!
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Proper planning is a must for life and retirement. Social security was meant to cover about 40% of our income. Add just $350 to that and a lot of us are going to be in trouble.
Let’s teach our kids. Let’s teach our grandkids. Understanding the value of money and the value of savings is critical learned behavior. You might be saying, “Even if I took out this plan, when my child takes ownership of this, after I’m gone, I’m sure he/she would spend every penny.” That’s true. They might, and they might not. What a time to insert your legacy. Consider adding a handwritten note. It could go something like this.
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Chances are with a personal love letter your children or grandchildren will be more prudent with this policy and that special bucket of money. Teaching them how to save is so important! One of the great benefits of this type of plan are the loan options. Some carriers allow what we call a variable loan. The carrier will “loan” the owner money and use the account value as collateral. Thus, the account value keeps working for the client. When you take the money out as a loan, it is not deemed as income. Replace it as soon as you can, and you can see how valuable this option can be. I love sitting down with grandparents and parents. I think it’s important to show the expenses inside these types of plans. As the years go by, the expense ratios tend to go down rapidly - as opposed to mutual funds or other investments strategies. Building roadmaps with a clear path to your destination requires focus and review. No matter how successful you are, it’s always good to have a hand on your shoulder. This isn’t easy. If it were, 88% of Americans would not be saying we’re in a retirement crisis. Most Americans feel overwhelmed and stressed about their financial future. Wouldn’t it be great, wouldn’t it be wonderful to take some of that stress away from your children and grandchildren? Live life with a purpose. Every morning, I have been more than blessed by waking up, jumping out of bed and declaring, “Today, I will make a difference.” As country music artist Amber Hayes says, “Any Day is a Good Day,” and I couldn’t agree more.
2017 - Our updated grandkids photo that’s outdated again! #11, born 12/18/2019, a beautiful baby girl and also the “tie breaker”. We now have 6 granddaughters and 5 grandsons.
Chapter
EIGHT making a difference
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making a difference
I
have often been asked, “Why did you get into the Retirement Planning business”?
Today, I smile when I reflect on my career and realize the life changing work that I do. It’s my job to tell the story. To persuade people like you to listen and act. Life insurance is a topic that many of us never wish to discuss. Yet almost every day we are reminded of the fragility of life. Financial planning and financial stability begins with proper life insurance planning. Risk management is the core. Then, you develop a spending plan. It’s an important tool for creating and maintaining your financial health.
There are uncertainties in life for sure. Being prepared for whatever occurs is so important for life and retirement planning. What are your plans regarding retirement? What are you doing to accomplish your goals? The answers to those questions have never been more important. 85% of all Americans do not have a pension plan. Two-thirds of all employees do not have a company sponsored employer plan at work. Of those that do, 401k or 403 plans were never meant to take the place of pension plans but rather were meant just as a supplement. As I mentioned earlier, a recent study from the National Institute of Retirement Security noted that 88% of American workers believe we are in a retirement crisis. 74% say employers don’t contribute enough for a secure retirement and 79% say the average worker cannot save enough on their own.
The story gets more compelling. A survey in 2016 said that 45% of all American workers have saved nothing for retirement. Zero. Of those that have, the average savings account is $5,000. What is really scary is that the average retirement balance for those about to retire is $17,000. Rightfully so, workers described their feelings when discussing. Retirement as stressed, worried, depressed and worse, according to the NIRS survey. I have tried to understand why life and retirement planning is not a priority.
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Ronnie McDowell and I.
Recently, I found a quote from psychologist Daniel Goldstein. He said, “The concept isn’t real to the younger you. You simply don’t want to think about it. It’s difficult to imagine yourself as older.” Wow. It reminded me of a scene that my friend and country music legend Ronnie McDowell had painted. It’s a drawing of a young Elvis Presley in his home in Tupelo, Mississippi looking into a mirror to see the reflection of an older Elvis looking back.
As Ronnie has said, “Can you imagine what the older Elvis would tell the younger Elvis if he had a chance?” As we grow old, we take on formal education from kindergarten to post-graduate work. Yet in all the years of education, there is not one class to tell you how to develop a proper spending and budget plan for your life and retirement. No discussion on risk management, how to set a budget, or how to stay out of debt.
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It’s as if we are in a herd of buffalo following the lead buffalo - huffing, snorting, and puffing - sprinting through the plains, only to run right over the cliff to certain death. It’s hard to realize that when we retire, we only have social security and what we have saved. It seems that we all think that there is gold at the end of the rainbow. As we take the plunge over the cliff, it’s too late to realize we can’t make it back to safety once we’re in midair.
I have made it my life’s work to change the perception of life and retirement planning. To change fantasy to reality. It begins with education and having a helping hand. For many of us, we have no roadmap, no direction. If you don’t have a financial coach, and have no idea how to start or even finish, then how do you do it? It can be a daunting task. But it doesn’t have to be. The best way for a person to save is at their workplace. It’s simple. If it can be payroll deducted and the worker never sees the money but just allocates for it, chances are the worker can begin a plan. However, not everyone has the ability to have their plan deducted from their pay. It will require even more discipline to write a check out each pay period, but it can and must be done. It’s your life. It’s your journey. A plan must have a roadmap, a direction. What will it take to get from point A to point B? If you were driving from Dallas, Texas to New York City, you would want to know how much gas it would take to get there.
The younger me.
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You would also want to know how long it would take and if you had enough resources to get there. Sometimes you need to readjust your direction if you encounter a roadblock. You have to have a plan. A process. One that is self-completing. It begins with risk management for the unknown. Life insurance? The chances are that many workers don’t have it. They don’t see worth in it or don’t realize the power of it. Another aspect is protection for critical or chronic care that could disable the worker before retirement. It should be risk adverse but yet have the ability to have market-like returns. An important part of a successful life and retirement plan is the ability to get to your funds if the need arises. Life is unpredictable, and chances are, you will need some help along the way. My belief is that everyone could use a mentor. Someone to help guide you to the final destination. When it comes time to focus on budget and debt, a financial coach could prove to be invaluable. Raise your hand if you might need a new roadmap to a successful retirement.
Who wants a Diamond Day Retirement?
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As with any journey, you must know the starting point, as well, the desired destination. It’s easier said than done, no doubt. Setting a budget, understanding taxes, getting out of debt is at the core. Just as important in creating long-term wealth with asset protection. I call this the “Protection Plan”. It covers most of the bases and puts the older you as a priority. What if we were excited about the journey ahead?
“It takes strategy to make a plan which is a roadmap to reaching your “Diamond Day Retirement.” Today, you need to decide what your desires in retirement are, which can also be described as your “desirement”. Then, make adjustments to your plans and maybe your perceptions of what a “Diamond Day Retirement” looks like for you. Maybe you start a new business or volunteer for a charity? If we’re going to live to be 95 and we retire at 65, that’s 30 years of traveling/golf/fishing/ boredom, etc. and you do not want to run out of money!” A retirement filled with paychecks for life. It takes discipline. It takes an understanding and a partnership. For one person to take on this challenge alone is almost impossible. That’s why I’m a life insurance professional who specializes in the preservation of assets without sacrificing good returns. Financial goals will help shape your future. Imagine beginning a journey to be debt free, to pay all your bills on time, to establish a savings plan, to have good, if not great credit, and to keep what you have worked so hard to gain. When you don’t know where to start, it’s difficult to be proactive. So many workers have committed a large portion of their paycheck already to making monthly debt payments because they didn’t have someone to help and mentor them. No doubt about it, this is not easy but it is very gratifying to see our clients’ desirements become a real retirement which includes their dreams coming true for their future.
As the late Jim Rohn once said, “Begin with gratitude and watch miracles flow your way.” Today, I rejoice at each day’s beginning. I literally can’t wait to jump out of bed and begin my
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day. I celebrate life. Virginia Hahn once said, “Without discipline, you’ll have regret”. Combine that with Sam Walton’s quote, “High expectations are the key to everything!” and you have the recipe to start the day! At AAA Life Solutions, we have a multi-discipline/umbrella approach to help you navigate a peaceful, stress-free retirement. We have CPA’s, attorneys, mortgage officers, realtors, medicare, health insurance and supplemental choices and it’s in one place. Come See Us!
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Being able to design a roadmap to help individuals or employees achieve their “diamond day”, that day when they retire from work to live a real retirement, is the most satisfying work that I do.
R. Reneé Kennedy Financial Benefits Advisor
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With more than 25 years in the industry, AAA Life Solutions is dedicated to our clients’ financial stability and working in their best interests. We are different in that we are preservationists of principle first without sacrificing great returns. We have a team of 25 professionals to help with all kinds of financial services and we do free consultations all in one place. Let us help you reach your “Diamond Day”!
R. RENEÉ KENNEDY Financial Benefits Advisor 3238 Players Club Circle, Suite 52 Memphis, TN 38125 (901) 508-2433 www.aaalifesolutions.com WE’RE ALL ABOUT YOU!