Rapport 13 - Autumn 2008

ISSUE THIRTEEN

AUTUMN 2008

Lisa Butcher On Cognitive Hypnotherapy

NLP

and Motorsport

The Butterfly Effect Michael Carroll

Robert Dilts Generative Collaboration

THE MAGAZINE FOR PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

SUBSCRIPTION ONLY

contents

autumn 2008

4 NLP Presuppositions

6 DEBATE Is NLP a community?

8 BASIC NLP Police your state Welcome to the Autumn issue of Rapport.

I’m really hoping that by the time you read this, we are enjoying some ‘Indian Summer’ weather, to make up for our wet Summer. Mind you, regardless of the weather outside, the sun is always shining in our office.

For those of you who do find yourselves needing that extra bit of resilience on occasions, Cait has written a beautiful article which puts everything into perspective (p12).

9 CONFERENCE REVIEW

10 NLP

Talking of challenging times, Teresa Reay tells us how we can develop strategies for coping with the Credit Crunch – very topical, and some really useful tips as well.

So with the credit crunch in our minds, let’s bear in mind what things we may be doing now, that will have a huge impact on our future. Michael Carroll explains about the Butterfly Effect (p16) I think I’m going to move to Ireland, where Anne Marie Ferris is doing some wonderful work transforming the prospects of young people, as Eve reports on page 18. On second thoughts, with our new home so nearly complete, and counting down the days we have to live in a caravan at last, I think I’ll stay put for now!

Until next time

Karen x

20

Robert Dilts

12 PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

Resilience under pressure

16 NLP

The butterfly effect

24

18 EDUCATION

On page 6, Andy controversially asks whether the NLP community is really a community. I’d like to think so – I believe we can make a much bigger impact and achieve so much more by working together and supporting each other, especially in these challenging times. Am I too much of an idealist?

Well, if I am, I’m in good company, because Robert Dilts is a firm believer in generative collaboration (p10)

26

Sea of Change

Helping children learn for life

20 INTERNATIONAL

United Arab Emirates

22 CELEBRITY

Lisa Butcher

24 BUSINESS

Credit crunch

44

26 HEALTH

NLP and nutrition

22

30 COACHING

32 NLP

What drives Robert Ford

34 BUSINESS SUPPORT Building a better website 36 RESEARCH

NLP and academia

38 TRAINING

Cover stories

Martha Beck

GWIZ learning

40 DIARY

Events taking place over the next few months

43 BOOK REVIEWS

The latest books reviewed by our panel

44 AUTHOR INTERVIEW Lindsey Agness

Editorial Team: Caitlin Collins, Andy Coote, Eve Menezes Cunningham Team@rapportmag.com, 0845 053 1162 Art Editor: Enzo Zanelli Advertising: David Hammond david@rapportmag.com, 0845 053 1189 Membership, subscriptions and back issues: Lala Ali Khan Members@anlp.org, 0845 053 1162

46 PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT Be bold and opinionated 48 REGIONAL GROUPS

Worcestershire Group

46 ENDNOTE

Publisher: Karen Moxom karen@rapportmag.com 0845 053 1162 Company Reg No. 05390486 Phoenix Publishing Ltd 41 Marlowes Hemel Hempstead, HP1 1LD Rapport published by Phoenix Publishing on behalf of ANLP. Design: Square Eye Design

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DISCLAIMER The views within this magazine are not necessarily those of the publisher, nor does the publisher endorse the products or services promoted in the magazine. Articles are for information only and intent is to inform. Readers should seek professional advice before adopting any suggestions or purchasing any products herein.

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NLP

The Presuppositions of NLP There’s no failure, only feedback

By Caitlin Collins

T

he NLP presuppositions are tools to help us transcend the boundaries of our limiting beliefs about ourselves and our world.

The point is not to believe or disbelieve any presupposition, but rather to consider what might be the implications of acting ‘as if ’ you believed it and imagine what differences that could make to your life now and in the future.

Unlike prey animals, predators have the luxury of learning by trial and error. A lioness who misjudges her pounce twitches her tail and thinks, ‘Next time I’ll try getting a bit closer before jumping; that might work better.’ A zebra who goes too near the trees gets nabbed by a leopard, and dies.

As predators, we humans thrive on experiment, and, except in some instances, such as ‘I wonder if this match will give enough light for me to check the petrol in this tank?’, we generally live and learn.

So why are many people so afraid of failing that they protect themselves from the risk by not attempting anything? Thereby, of course, failing to make the most of their opportunities... Hmm. Children love learning. A toddler gets up, totters a step, falls on her bum, giggles, staggers up again and has another go. Imagine if she sat there and grizzled, ‘I can’t do it. I’m not going to try any more.’

So what goes wrong?

Along comes conditioning, and, in our need to please others, we take on their opinions and their criteria for success and failure. And we criticise ourselves with other people’s voices when we don’t

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meet the success criteria we’ve adopted.

Of course, success and failure are dualistic concepts as well as simplistic ones. Many people emphasise success, without noticing that it implies its opposite, or that they’re failing to take other factors into account: their success may be at somebody else’s expense. Expanding your view can help you be more relaxed about success and failure alike.

When you’re relaxed, it’s easier to learn; this is one of the reasons why NLP is intentionally entertaining – you’re more open

to learning when you’re enjoying yourself. It’s hard to learn in an atmosphere of fear which engenders tension and resentment – I wish my maths teacher had known how her destructive feedback paralysed her students.

Notice how you give feedback to yourself. Do you accuse yourself of being a schmuck who always screws up? (If you do, who’s talking? It isn’t you – it’s a voice from your past.) Instead, try asking yourself constructive questions. What have you learned

that will help you do better next time? What would you like to do differently? If you were a wise mentor advising somebody in your position, what possible options might you suggest?

And above all, remember – you can always model yourself on a lioness, graciously waving her tail!

Caitlin Collins: info@naturalmindmagic.com www.naturalmindmagic.com

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DEBATE

Is NLP a Community?

In the last issue of Rapport, we reported that ANLP had become a Community Interest Company earlier in the year. NLP is often referred to as a community, but is it really – and should it be working harder at being one? Andy Coote had some interesting conversations on the topic.

T

he first question that needed answering was what a community is. I chose a working definition from Wiktionary which seemed to be a good starting point for the question – is NLP a community?

Community - a group of people sharing a common understanding who reveal themselves by using the same language, manners, tradition and law. http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/community Karen Moxom would like to think that NLP is a community and is doing her best to make it so. “I would like people to understand the value of working together to make a bigger difference.” She recognises that there is work to do, “chunk it up enough and there is a common understanding but underneath that we become too involved in differences rather than commonality”. Alan Jones agrees, “In the recent past NLP has not been a community,” he says. “It has been divided by professional differences and personality clashes. There is a lot to do to bring it back to any sort of community.” Melody Cheal emphasises the value of a shared language. “It is easy to achieve rapport quickly,” she suggests. Values are also shared, “there is a shorthand to get people onto a more intimate level of communication.” “NLP as a discipline lends itself to community,” suggests Daryll Scott, “but it is communities at present.” Mark Underwood is also uncertain about the concept of NLP as a single community and

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wanted to add to our working definition. “In my experience, communities gather around a cause and I can’t see a universal apparent cause for NLP to gather around. Different sectors within the NLP ‘community’ have their own causes and they are different,” he suggests.

The market in which NLP operates has commercial issues to face. As Moxom points out, “people are trying to make a living and may view what they are doing as competing with each other. Most people come to NLP to make a difference but that can get forgotten in the commercial reality.” Jones sees that “commercial necessity may drive a polarising of opinions.” Scott talks of “the need to differentiate. People do have to make a living, after all”.

Commercial interests can drive innovation in the market, too. In other industries, research and development is often carried forward within firms, sometimes working with academic interests as well. It raises what Scott refers to as a matter of “commercial advantage versus community interest”.

Getting information shared across the whole community is currently an issue. “People who have trained in the last 5 years with Richard Bandler have been exposed to advances in his thinking. John Grinder’s approach has also moved forward in fairly big leaps. Both communities are not benefiting from these advances. There is no mechanism for sharing across boundaries.”

Cheal sees the market opportunity as collaborative rather than competitive.

“Competition depends on the trainer’s personal philosophy”, she says, “I believe that there is plenty of business to go around and I am friends with other trainers. We held a NLP Trainer Playday with ANLP which was very successful in building community and trainers came from quite some distance to take part.

There is a large potential market and no scarcity in my view. It is better to support others and I do recommend other trainers when it is appropriate.”

Moxom agrees that there is enough work to go around and that we need to “come together to promote benefits of NLP. We need to adopt an attitude of abundance and work together to create it. A recent survey of 1,000 people attending the Farnborough AirShow found that 80% had never heard of NLP.” Underwood has a slightly different take. “In the business world, which is where I work, most HR people think they know what NLP is but most Board Directors will not.

DEBATE

Corporates don’t care what label you put on it. They see no intrinsic benefit in a label and tend to buy the ‘safe’ brand rather than the method.” Jones has experienced a similar resistance to NLP as a brand in business. “The commercial circuit has become wary of NLP. As a result, many NLP based suppliers to that market are packaging what they do into new brands that are based on NLP but expressed in more generic terms. Companies buy what you are going to do for them, not the method you intend to use.”

Jones is also concerned about the image that NLP has of being a pseudoscience. He talks about Carl Sagan’s differentiation between science and pseudoscience and finds that NLP currently seems to fit in the pseudoscience category. “Sagan suggests that pseudosciences tend to publish their own magazines rather than seeking peer review in mainstream scientific publications and depend on testimonials and press releases rather than engaging in academic debate. I’d like to see a move towards science. We seem to be defensive about our territory, more like a new age community. We need to set up two way dialogue and challenging debates with other areas of science that are working on the same issues.” Cheal would like to see the labelling of NLP as a cult finally put to rest.

“We need to look at other related disciplines and applications and incorporate new things into NLP, acknowledging their heritage. If NLP is about modelling excellence, we need to do more modelling to develop the toolset we have.”

Alongside increased engagement with the academic world (see report of the first International NLP Research Conference elsewhere in this issue), Moxom would like to think more about the needs of people researching NLP as a possible solution to their needs. “We can be too busy focusing inwards on the community and we need to focus more outward on to the general public. I’d like to see more case studies, preferably with measurable results, that show practical applications of how NLP has worked.” Promotion works, as Moxom points out, “The Daily Mail published an article on NLP and Coaching about ANLP Member Martin Weaver. He had been coaching a journalist who then wrote the article. Web visitors to the ANLP website doubled on the day of the article and have remained double since. As a result all ANLP members have benefited from the publicity.”

The structure of qualifications and the spectre of regulation also came up during the conversations. Underwood commented that

there had been talk of regulation since he first came into NLP. Moxom, however, suggested that, whatever the status of enforced regulation, working towards self regulation could not be a bad thing. “The HPC looks certain to be regulating psychotherapists and counsellors later this year or early in 2009. We think that it is sensible to build a framework for self regulation. This includes a code of ethics, an independent complaints procedure and Continuous Professional Development (CPD)”.

it needs to be aware of them.” He admits to being a little pessimistic, though, “There are hundreds of individuals with different intentions. I’m not sure how this fractured thing could be unified”.

On the contrary, Moxom is looking to unite the community but not to standardise it. “We should celebrate the flexibility that NLP offers us. If we apply the presuppositions of NLP to the community maybe we would respect other peoples’ maps of the world and work together to generate a more positive image. I’d like for it to still be possible to practice NLP in 5 or 10 years time and be proud of being part of a community.”

Community growth can come from industry bodies and companies building a framework but it can also come from individuals working together to build small communities which can link and grow together. All of the interviewees recognise the value of practice groups whether they are geographical, based around a trainer or around a sector. As Jones notes, “When you start a local practitioner group, you start to grow something very interesting.

Active practice groups can begin to connect with each other and you could find that you go from practice groups inwards to a central core, rather than outwards from one. But you do need the framework to be there.”

Whether NLP develops as a single community or several, there seems to be a consensus that people need to work together to open up the market and to position NLP for growth and credibility. As a community, if we are one, there is a tendency to debate features – which, Cheal points out “is only natural” – when our clients and potential clients are more interested in benefits – in what’s in it for them.

To get involved in this debate go to the ANLP website at www.anlp.org/forum/ default.asp and go to the ‘General Interest’ section or write to the Editor

I would like people to understand the value of working together to make a bigger difference

Jones would add to this by changing the structure of qualification. “We train people to use NLP to help themselves and then we make them practitioners,” he notes. “Most of them are not ready to practice on others. I believe that there needs to be another level which I’d call ‘registered practitioner’, perhaps with an extra module on professional responsibility, a code of ethics and CPD and with an evidence based record of practice.” Underwood suggests that regulation, “may have some uses in the business world but they would still want to be assured that they were using a provider with a proven track record.”

If NLP is not yet a community, how might it improve on that position? Scott talks about intention. “If the field had a single intention, it wouldn’t matter which school you had been to, you would be moving towards that intention.

Everything you did would be consistent with that intention. Whispering in the Wind sets out operating principles for the field of NLP and, whether the field accepts or rejects them,

Participants Alan Jones, Quality Training Solutions www.qualitycoachingsolutions.com Melody Cheal, The GWiz Learning Partnership www.gwiztraining.com Daryll Scott, Noggin www.mynoggin.co.uk Mark Underwood, Business Matters www.business-matters.org Karen Moxom, ANLP www.anlp.org

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BASIC NLP

Police Your State and become the kind of person who deals with life more easily

By Eve Menezes Cunningham

F

or some people, not getting a letter, email or phone call they’d hoped for can mean a “bad day”. Others could come out of a burning/flooded building feeling upbeat and grateful to have survived.

We can’t control the things that happen to us but we can always decide how we’re going to react to things.

It’s easier said than done, but one of the first things you learned how to do in NLP was getting yourself into a “resourceful state.”

Obviously, it’s a choice. On occasion, it may be completely appropriate to think ‘you know what? I don’t want to feel better! I want to wallow”. Just make sure you remember it’s up to you.

For those times when you do want to feel better, these tips will help you make the best of a potentially bad situation: A bad day at work – Take some time out. Stop it spiralling out of control by giving yourself some kind of break. You may be able to leave the office completely (go for a walk or treat yourself to something and lift your spirits, go for lunch with a colleague and talk about something other than work). Even if you can’t, take yourself to the kitchen and take some deep breaths (releasing any stress and tension on each exhalation) when you wait for the kettle to boil. If you can’t even do that, lock yourself in the restroom and do some deep breathing or have a stretch.

Delayed journey home – Prepare for unexpected hiccups by keeping an enjoyable book or magazine with you always. You may even find yourself valuing the extra time to yourself. If you’re driving, turn off the traffic report and listen to a great CD or an audio book. Make your vehicle a bubble you like spending time in.

News of a partner’s affair – Spend some time with people who love and appreciate you. Remind yourself that, much as this hurts right now, you’ll be much happier alone or with a future partner who 100% wants to be with you.

Think about the kind of situations that

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regularly “ruin” your good mood. Prepare in advance. What would help you feel better about each of these scenarios? How can you make it easier for yourself to react more resourcefully

next time something like this happens?

You’ll improve your self image as you begin to see yourself as someone who deals with life’s setbacks more easily.

Few people have to police their state as much as actors. Whether it’s facing rejection with a smile and sincere “Thanks for the opportunity” or playing a variety of roles far removed from their experience, we can learn a lot from them. Actress, Sandra De Sousa says, “I find it quite easy to get psyched up for auditions. I let go of the day: breathing, connecting with my body and stopping any craziness in my head. I find a quiet space, stop and focus. You can do this even on the Tube: Switch off and let yourself absorb. Reconnect with your breathing (in through nose and out through your mouth). If I have space I lie down ‘semi supine’. On my back, knees up with feet planted on the floor with my head and neck supported (by a book or pillow) to keep my neck as long as possible with my chin down towards my chest.”

When preparing for a performance, it’s more a matter of increasing her energy. Sandra says, “After I’ve relaxed and focus on what I want to achieve, I start to get my energy up. I throw out energy, throwing out my arms, kicking out my legs, making circles with my feet, knees and hips and shaking my head. I do vocal exercises as well.”

To feel better after rejection, Sandra says, “I focus on the important things in my life and the things I’m really grateful for. I list them in my head like ‘OK, I’ve still got full use of my limbs, my parents are still alive, I can run around and dance and sing if I want to’ to get perspective around it. I also use Bach Rescue Remedy, hot baths and candles and find people I can hug. If my flatmates, who I love, aren’t home I think, ‘Who can I see now who I can hug?’

Sandra says she used to wallow and get very depressed but life’s too short. Her acting coach, Bernard Hiller, helps actors become more positive.

One of his exercises involves putting a percentage on the likelihood of you dying next week. Sandra says, “The people with the lowest percent are investing less in their lives.

People like Steven Spielberg are saying ‘80/90%’. You might die next week so focus on the things you want.”

CONFERENCE

SEA OF CHANGE CONFERENCE NLP DORSET FORUM - 2 AUGUST 2008 The Sea of Change NLP conference was more than a celebration, it was a powerful exploration that boldly applied the principles of NLP to the practice.

By Angelica Jopson

K

aren Moxom, head of the ANLP, opened the conference by setting for herself the unenviable task of reviewing the State of NLP today. Leaving no area unexposed Karen asked the difficult questions ranging from public image to research and regulation.

‘We have something to shout about’, was her resounding message and she urged practitioners to focus on communicating the successes of NLP to the people and opening up the world of NLP to the public with simple examples.

The conference was given an unusual twist in the form of ‘Table Top Talks’, the brainchild of John Chisholm, co-founder of the Dorset Forum. Speakers presented topics to small groups encouraging interactivity and discussion. Topics ranged from family dynamics to weight loss and the Law of Attraction.

Delegates choose which talks to attend and

soon the conference room was buzzing with the exchange of ideas and the embracing of the change made possible with NLP. Dr Paul Tosey cut to the core of NLP and gave an insightful glance into the origin of presuppositions asking whether there was something missing. ‘There needs to be greater clarity about principals if there is to be greater acceptance’, he said. Practitioners need to realise that they are in fact an integral part of the change they make and that they cannot separate themselves from the process. He also pushed for an open minded approach to theory

and the use of presuppositions as a means to end.

Darren Toms inspired delegates with the ‘17 minutes to change your life’ in the form of the FISH! Philosophy.

The feeling of the day was summed up through his powerful presentation, cooking up the contagious ‘can-do’ attitude in the crowd.

A bit of magic ended the day; James Brown drew awe and applause with his witty and stylish tricks.

‘Sea of Change’ may have started as a phrase but it certainly came to life through a well organised and uplifting day, underpinned by the possibilities that NLP offers to change our lives in ways we could once only imagine.

A powerful exploration that boldly applied the principles of NLP to the practice

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NLP

Robert Dilts Helping different kinds of groups work well together with NLP

By Eve Menezes Cunningham

R

obert Dilts has been involved with NLP since it’s very early days. As well as studying and working with John Grinder and Richard Bandler, he studied with Milton Erikson and Gregory Bateson.

He says, “I use NLP for everything except breathing. In some ways, NLP is my daily life. I’m constantly modelling language patterns and I’m constantly eliciting people’s values and preferences.

I have my own metamodeller inside so when I say something, I ask myself ‘how specifically?’ So really, it’s not something I do it’s something I have. To me, NLP has always been a description of what works. One of the things I try to teach people is that it’s not something you just do in exceptional circumstances. It’s something you do all the time.”

Anyone who knows anything about NLP will be familiar with at least some of Robert Dilts’ contributions to the field. He is largely responsible for techniques and developments in neurological levels, allergies, “sleight of mouth” (also known as criteria utilisation) patterns, re-imprinting and gentling exercises and many more.

He also did a lot of work around beliefs and values. When his mother, Patricia, had cancer, her doctors said that nothing more could be done. Reluctant to give up and figuring at least he couldn’t do any harm, Robert did some NLP work with her himself.

He didn’t want her to visualise the cancerous cells as violent or to have any war metaphors. Instead, he asked her to

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think of them as overgrown grass and to see her healthy cells as a sheep gently grazing and keeping any cancer in check. Ultimately, she lived another 13 years (longer than some of those doctors) and wrote a book about her recovery.

I interviewed Robert when he was in London delivering some training.

It was pretty amazing to watch him be so generous with his time with so many of the participants. One person, who had attended the whole course with him, told me that he’d been taking time to talk to people like that throughout. He always seemed to be smiling (I was beaming myself after the interview) and it was lovely to see that someone so focused on other people is doing well for himself.

His interest in other people and a more systemic approach means it’s logical that Robert should be very interested in Generative Collaboration.

He says, “‘Collaboration’ is about working together and ‘generative’ is about creating something new.

Ultimately, generative collaboration is about working together creatively. It is different to basic collaboration where everyone knows there’s something to do and you assign roles. The result is the sum of all the parts. But in generative collaboration, we don’t know what we’re going to do when we get started.

NLP

To me, NLP has always been a description of what works. One of the things I try to teach people is that it’s not something you just do in exceptional circumstances.

It’s something you do all the time.

“I was showing a video of some musicians spontaneously improvising together and it is quite different than saying ‘OK, here’s the piece we’re playing, you rehearse your part and I’ll rehearse mine. You do what you’re supposed to do and I’ll do what I’m supposed to do.’ In this piece, they created something new that had never been played before. There’s excitement and it’s uplifting. So the idea of generative collaboration is to help people in all kinds of different teams work together in that way – whether it’s at work or in families or even in NLP associations.”

Dilts is excited about NLP’s potential in areas like politics. He remembers, “I got involved in NLP through politics. I studied Linguistics and John Grinder was my professor. I’m still in touch with Grinder and the others. The biggest challenge with staying in touch with people like that is that we all travel. John and I both live – or shall I say, we both have houses – in Santa Cruz. Last time I was there, I phoned John but he was in Saudi Arabia. But John’s a mentor. I also keep in touch with David Gordon and Stephen Gilligan who was there at the beginning. I keep in touch with Richard from a little more of a distance.

“One of the problems with NLP, frankly, is that John and Richard were brilliant but they were rebels. They were revolutionaries. And the people that they studied were loners and so there wasn’t work as a community or in teams. NLP was definitely generated collaboratively - there was a group of us. But the focus wasn’t on getting along. It was a very individualistic approach. One of the great challenges for NLP is finding structures that work and fit the NLP type of person.”

Robert has recently been coaching in NLP associations in France and Germany and says he’s really enjoyed the work. He says, “I’ve seen, of course, a lot of NLP associations come and go over the years. They’ve worked the best when they’ve been places for people to come and share ideas, to network and to generatively collaborate. They start to cave in when they start rigidifying standards and controlling the market place. But I know they have a positive intention.

“When it started, NLP was such an innovative field but many people are still using organisational structures from the 12th century. Structure is needed to give benefit to the associations. But it can run into difficulties when it becomes exclusive. Like saying, ‘You can’t do that; you have to do this, only this is allowed.’ Let’s have a strong sense of identity but then reach out Robert Dilts has written several books including: Neuro-Linguistic Programming Vol. I (with John from there.

Grinder, Richard Bandler and Judith DeLozier, 1980), Changing Belief Systems with NLP (1990) “One of the associations I’m founder and Beliefs: Pathways to Health and Well Being (with Tim Hallbom and Suzi Smith, 1990), Tools and still a director of is the public for Dreamers (with Todd Epstein and Robert W. Dilts, 1991) and Skills for the Future (with Gino Institute for the Advanced Studies of Bonissone, 1993), Effective Presentation Skills (1994), Strategies of Genius Vols. I–III (1994Health. Part of the goal is not just to 1995), Dynamic Learning (with Todd Epstein, 1995), Visionary Leadership Skills (1996), Tools of say ‘this is the only correct way to work in health’ but to ask ‘How can NLP the Spirit (with Robert McDonald, 1997), Modeling with NLP (1998), Sleight of Mouth (1999), The help make people healthier?’”

Encycolopedia of Systemic Neuro-Linguistic Programmming and NLP New Coding (with Judith For anyone who has ever worried DeLozier, 2000), Alpha Leadership: Tools for Business Leaders Who Want More From Life (with about NLP being manipulative, I would Ann Deering and Julian Russell, 2002) and, most recently From Coach to Awakener (2003). refer them to Robert Dilts to help them see NLP at its best.

Resources

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PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

Buoyancy Floats Resilience under pressure

By Caitlin Collins

I

was just six years old and my older sister was eight years old. It was winter time. We were crossing the Himalayas to escape into India. We had been separated from the rest of our Tibetan group as the Chinese police had arrested most of the others. My sister and I, and a monk who was in his sixties, were the only ones who escaped. So we attempted to cross the mountains alone.’

The narrator of this story, Gyalwang, was captured after the monk died on the journey and the two children became separated.

Sent back to Tibet, he escaped again, and after another long and terrible journey he eventually made it to safe exile in India. His story was written in the 1990s; since then up to a thousand Tibetan children each year have made the dangerous journey out of Tibet across the highest mountains in the world in search of freedom.

How do people do it? What is the resilience that sustains them – boys and girls, men and women – under extreme adversity?

Accounts of others’ heroism move me to tears. I feel both humbled and inspired by their examples. My own worries diminish by comparison: things that were looming in my life as major problems resume their proper proportions as mere inconveniences.

Pressure, pain and opportunity Pressure takes many forms including all kinds of physical and emotional stress. How we experience it and respond to it varies. We can experience it as suffering, whether large and small, throughout the range of duhkha identified by the Buddha (memorably defined by a contemporary teacher as ‘the entire range of experience all the way from searing physical or emotional agony to the minute frisson of dissatisfaction one feels when one’s butler has failed to iron one’s newspaper adequately’).

Or we can experience it as an opportunity for learning, growth, atonement, or discovering and developing heroic qualities within ourselves. We can fight it; or collapse under it; or accept it as just the way things are, and

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do our best anyway; or some of us can even flourish under it as we rise to the challenge of adversity.

Many people thrive under pressure, whether it’s relatively huge: the child crossing the bitter snow mountains to exile, or relatively small: the social-worker solving the koan of too heavy a caseload to cover in the hours available. The world is full of ordinary heroes.

In a way, we are all heroes in our own lives: as the NLP presuppositions point out, we each experience our world in our own way and respond to the demands made on us as best we can in accordance with the resources we have available. But it’s also true to say that some people seem more resilient than others. How can we, too, learn to float more buoyantly on the waves?

Stress and the stress-response Most people have seen popular psychology lists of ‘stressful situations’ such as divorce, bereavement, serious illness, getting married and moving house. These are not necessarily all

It isn’t the pressure that’s the problem; it’s our response to it unpleasant experiences, but they do all involve change and uncertainty. Interestingly, while many people feel pressured by change and uncertainty, others (or sometimes even the same people) find too little change to be extremely stressful – the boredom of the same old routine, day in, day out, drives them up the wall.

For most of us, whether there’s too much change in our lives or too little, the most stressful thing is the sense of not having any control over what’s happening. And a doublebind situation, being faced with equally unsatisfactory options, is extremely stressful, the resulting sense of pressure being neatly expressed by the saying ‘trapped between a rock and a hard place’.

But it isn’t really the pressure that’s the problem, is it? It’s our response to it. When we talk about being stressed out, we’re really talking about our stress-response.

Physiologically speaking, we respond to a threatening situation by releasing stress hormones from the adrenal glands, giving us a surge of energy for ‘flight or fight’. In the days when humans were hunters competing with sabre-tooth tigers, it was a life-saver (and it may still come in handy down a dark alleyway in a tough part of town) but in our normal day-today lives, this physical response is not so useful.

Stress hormones remain in our bodies for some time after being triggered, and the resulting energy surge demands release in physical activity – not easy if we’re stuck behind the wheel of a car, hence such inappropriate behaviour as road rage. And sometimes the coping strategies we use to alleviate the pressure – such as drinking, over-eating, smoking etc – lead to further problems and make matters worse.

Stress-related symptoms can span a wide range, including rapid heart beat, breathlessness, headaches, stomach aches, back pain, skin rashes, insomnia, depression, emotional irritability, tearfulness, dizzy spells, fearfulness, anxiety and panic attacks. Many physical disorders, such as stomach ulcers, colitis, migraines and indigestion, are triggered or worsened by our response to pressure.

Thriving under pressure How to find the buoyancy necessary to cope with pressure – or, even better, thrive? Some of these strategies come from NLP; all can stand the test of personal experiment!

•

Start by taking a step towards reclaiming control. Identify obvious pressure points.

Consider what the implications might be if it were not the situation itself that’s the problem, that your response to it may be the more important factor. For example, one person may see an event as a challenge, and enjoy it; while

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

another may see it as an ordeal, and hate it.

Your perception of it and response to it is what matters. By taking responsibility for your own response, you take control, and your floatability will rise accordingly.

•

Be alert to the signs of stress building up. Don’t wait until it overwhelms you and you either erupt in fury or collapse in tears over some tiny incident. It’s easier to take responsibility and assert control sooner rather than later in any process, whether that process is an ongoing part of your life, such as a relationship, or an immediate emotional event

such as the arising of anger.

•

Learn to express your emotions clearly and kindly before they get out of hand; don’t let things fester. It’s no good expecting other people to read your mind: tell them how you feel. Ask for help when you need it. And appreciate depression, a leaden feeling as far removed from buoyancy as can be, as an emergency brake trying to stop you going further down a wrong turning. Imagine yourself at a crossroads, the different paths representing your imaginary options, and notice how your feelings change as you try each

one; then think about how you can act on your discoveries to make changes in your life.

•

Be aware of the possibly harmful sideeffects of your usual coping strategies. For example, the coffee that gets you up in the morning can itself induce symptoms similar to a stress-response, including heart palpitations, anxiety, irritability, and insomnia. And while one drink in the evening may help you to relax, it can easily lead to several more – and a subsequent drink problem to add to the original pressure. Find healthier ways to relax – maybe yoga or meditation, or some kind of creative

rapport - Autumn 2008

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PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

expression such as music or art. Any physical exercise is great, as it enables you to release the pent up energy that is such a big part of the stress-response: try walking or running, or squash, or swimming; whatever works for you.

This will not only help you to relax, it will also increase your fitness and stamina, which in turn will increase your resilience.

•

Learn to identify your own needs, such as quiet time for yourself, or opportunities to socialise or to pursue a particular interest. It’s not only legitimate to acknowledge and take steps towards fulfilling your needs, it’s necessary for your own sake and the sake of others. If you need to convince yourself of this, consider how, if you carry on stretching yourself as thin as too little butter over too much bread, you’re likely to crack up, which would cause more problems for everyone. It’s absolutely vital to learn how to prioritise, set boundaries, and assert yourself kindly and firmly: if necessary, practise saying ‘No’ in front of a mirror!

Heroes and role-models Heroes often surprise themselves. Courage, which may have been deeply hidden, emerges in a crisis. Another NLP presupposition is that we each have all the resources we need.

Could that really be true? If so, how to find them? To use a simple model found in many traditions: how to find the peaceful inner space that is normally eclipsed by the drama of the ego-zone?

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) commonly follows intensely horrific experiences; Dan Goleman, in his book Emotional Intelligence, terms it a kind of emotional wounding that leaves its imprint on the brain. Symptoms include repeated vivid flashback memories, terror, guilt, anxiety, depression, and a host of knock-on effects that impair the sufferer’s ability to get on with his or her life. But is it inevitable? Few experiences could be more traumatic than that of Tenzin Choedak. The Dalai Lama’s doctor in Tibet, he stayed behind when the Dalai Lama fled to India in 1959. Incarcerated in a Chinese prison for 30 years, he experienced torture and deprivation on a horrific scale, as well as witnessing the torments of others daily.

On his eventual release, he made his way to Dharamsala and resumed his old job as the Dalai Lama’s doctor. A gentle, cheerful old man with a crooked face, one eye permanently knocked out of kilter in the course of many savage beatings, he ministered to anyone who called at his little room – including me. He didn’t talk much about his ordeal, but was heard to say that the only time during those

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Autumn 2008 - rapport

30 years of torment that he felt really afraid was just once, momentarily, when, at a low ebb, he feared he might be weakening in his compassion for his tormentors.

Among our most outstanding role-models, like Tenzin Choedak, Mandela, or Gandhi-ji,

of something seemingly bad. This, too, will pass. Suddenly there is space around the event.

There is also space around the emotional highs and lows, even around pain.’

In that space we find the willingness to be present, to open up to whatever is, with love, compassion, joy, peace, and the irrepressible lightness of being. Then pressure is not experienced as stressful, and buoyancy is as natural as breathing.

Let’s return to the story of Gyalwang. His sister was never found. Following his second attempt to escape, the young boy arrived in India as a destitute refugee; he has since completed a degree in political science and now lives in Delhi helping his fellow Tibetans with political work and translation.

Courage emerges in a crisis if there’s one thing they seem to have in common, it’s that rather than seeing what’s happening in terms of the limited ego-zone of ‘me’, they have a larger perspective, both in terms of their own sense of purpose and in terms of relativity. Eckhart Tolle, in A New Earth, retells the traditional Sufi story of the king and the ring with its inscription, This, too, will pass, and comments on it. ‘These words are to make you aware of the fleetingness of every situation, the transience of all forms – good or bad... The recognition that This, too, will pass brings detachment and with detachment another dimension comes into your life – inner space... Who you are becomes freed from its imprisonment in form. This freedom is the arising of inner space. It comes as a stillness, a subtle peace deep within you, even in the face

Caitlin Collins: info@naturalmindmagic.com www.naturalmindmagic.com Originally published by Art Refuge in the collection Art of Exile, Gyalwang’s story, accompanied by his own illustrations, appeared in the programme booklet of this year’s visit by the Dalai Lama to Nottingham.

PRESSURE-RELEASE VALVES: pattern interruptions for dispersing rising stress-energy Breathe. Notice what happens when stress levels are soaring – your breathing changes. So take 3 deep breaths, and then count 10 more while breathing all the way down into the abdomen. This will help you to relax and release the building tension.

Laugh. See the funny side of a situation, make a joke, and take time out to watch a comedy show, even get someone to tickle you. Laughter is a great way to dissolve tension.

Move. If you can, go out for a walk or a run; if not, jumping on the spot can really help – even if you have to hide in the loo to do it!

Change perspective. A problem can dominate your vision. See things in a different way by imagining what it would be like if you could somehow float up above your body, as high as you need to go.

Imagine going out into space so the Earth appears as a little blue green ball; or even further, so the Sun appears as just one of countless stars.

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NLP

The Butterfly Effect

for Enriching Your Life

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Autumn 2008 - rapport

An article by Michael Carroll

NLP

M

ost people are on automatic pilot as they stumble through life with their eyes and ears closed to the real choices around them. ‘The Butterfly Effect’ is about opening your sensory awareness to, and recognising, the opportunities that exist in each moment of the day.

In ‘chaos theory’ there is a principle called the ‘Butterfly Effect’ describing how the movement of a butterfly’s wings begins a chain of events, ultimately leading to a tornado thousands of miles away. The potential of the tornado is always there, it’s the initial atmospheric change caused by the butterfly’s wings that creates the context for the tornado to occur or not occur. Small variations in the initial condition of a non-linear dynamical system may produce large variations in the long-term behaviour of the system.

I am sure if you tracked back through your life you can identify specific times when a small action created a chain of events that led to a huge outcome, either positive or negative. The system always had the elements within to create the outcome, but it was a very small shift that set things going and brought the pieces together.

You will often hear people saying “if only I had not said _____ “, or “I am so glad I decided to go to _____ that night.” In these examples some words led to something much bigger of negative consequence and the second example a decision to go somewhere was the catalyst for something big that was positive. In both cases there are many other conditions in the system (context) that contributed to the outcome.

The events in these ‘Butterfly Effect’ scenarios may seem random to you, however some people would argue that there is no such thing as a random event, and that we either are constantly creating what we think is random or something much bigger is directing events.

Whether you believe the events are random, created by you, or pre-determined, inherent in the event are a series of ‘choice points’. These choice points are where most people are relying on luck. The idea is to be sensitive enough to increase your personal awareness so you use the principle of the “Butterfly Effect” for enriching your life and creating more personal success.

Increasing your personal awareness has two elements a) awareness of your internal sensory experience b) external awareness of the non-verbal cues of people around you.

Your unconscious mind, (the bigger part of your mind) has a unique intelligence for interpreting the masses of information you are absorbing each second through your five

senses. Much of the sensory based information coming in to your nervous system is below the surface of your conscious awareness. In his book ‘Blink’, Malcolm Gladwell refers to unconscious interpretation as ‘thin slicing’.

This is where in a fraction of a second the unconscious interprets a situation. Many people refer to the unconscious interpretation as intuition, hunches and gut feelings. The idea of NLP is to go beyond the vague sense of intuition and be highly aware in all situations.

To increase your awareness of the nonverbal cues of people around you, you need to ensure your attention is external with eyes and ears open to what is immediately important.

Meanwhile it is important to be sensitive to

With a vision that is highly inspirational you will have the day to day motivation to take action your inner sensations which act as cues or signals from the unconscious mind. Internal dialogue is a distraction if you are seeking a highly aware state.

When interacting with other people, it’s important to pay attention to their whole system of communication which is much more than their language. Become aware of eye movements, gestures, posture, voice tone, pauses in speech and so on. When you really pay attention you can calibrate if someone is congruent with what they are saying or not.

So having established a high level of personal awareness to detect the small changes in the systems around you it’s time to create the bigger elements of the system e.g. become aware of the bigger picture. The potential of the tornado is ever present in the weather system, luckily for us the sequencing of the tornado criteria does not occur too often. This is like many peoples dreams and goals; they have the potential to achieve, the components exist in their life, the external conditions can be manipulated to create the goal, yet many people fail to achieve because they can’t see the bigger picture and do not take the small but massively important elements to make the dream come true.

So to be aware of the bigger picture, sit down in a quiet place and ask yourself : “what’s important to me in my life?”

Keep answering this question until you get about five to eight words e.g. family, wealth,

health, leisure time etc. Then ask yourself: “why is each of these criteria important to me and what does each one do for me?”

The initial set of words are personal criteria sometimes known as values, the second set are their underlying meaning to you. It’s rare for us to ask a ‘why’ question in NLP. In this case it can be useful in determining personal meaning and motivation. Now think about the context of having all those values fulfilled so you scored yourself 10/10. In the examples I gave, this would mean your wealth, relationships, health are at their very best, and visualise this scenario. Check how this feels. This is your personal vision for your future and is far more abstract than goals. Now set some juicy goals to fit your vision.

With a vision that is highly inspirational you will have the day to day motivation to take action. Using your sensory awareness employ the ‘Butterfly Effect’ and ensure your actions are at the point with the most leverage in the system. An important thing about creating a dream is to ensure you are not just dreaming about the future - that you are living the dream in the present, recognise the dream is a work in progress and now is a part of it.

Your personal state is a key player in all the phases of creating the dream. This ranges from having the discipline to follow through on actions, dealing with any setbacks, being in a peak state for key tasks, taking time to refresh.

Always ensure your state is right for what you are doing.

Use the ‘Butterfly Effect’ to enrich your life, increase your personal awareness, create a dream, recognise the key leverage points and take action, live the dream and use states of excellence along the way. Enjoy all the elements of the dream.

Michael Carroll: www.nlpacadey.co.uk info@nlpacademy.co.uk, 020 8686 9952 About the author Michael Carroll is the founder and course director of the NLP Academy and cofounder with John Grinder and Carmen Bostic St Clair of the International Trainers Academy of NLP. He is the only NLP Master Trainer in the world certified

by John Grinder and Carmen Bostic St Clair and he works closely with them in developing and delivering high quality NLP training.

References Gladwell, M, 2005: Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, 2005 Alan Lane publishers

rapport - Autumn 2008

| 17

EDUCATION

Helping Children Learn For Life Anne Marie Ferris talks about the learning-skills programme that’s transforming youngsters’ prospects in Ireland

By Caitlin Collins

B

ased in Wexford, NLP Trainer Anne Marie Ferris is a former teacher who specialises in working with children, and also adults, who have specific learning difficulties or emotional or cognitive problems that interfere with their ability to learn in the traditional manner.

As Anne Marie points out: ‘Learning is part of life for all of us, and so is school.

Everyone has struggled at some stage with their experience of learning, and many children find school a challenge.’

For teachers, the practicalities of coping with large classes in schools can make it difficult to avoid a onesize-fits-all approach. Anne Marie’s Learning4Life™ programme aims to work specifically with the individual.

‘I believe that everyone is unique, and that everyone has great potential,’ she explains. ‘We need to find out how an individual thinks, how he constructs his view of the world, or how her past experience affects her beliefs about her capabilities, so we can offer each child the skills and strategies for learning that he or she needs. All sorts of experiences – from identifiable traumas to everyday life changes – can interfere with how someone approaches learning, so we need to look further than the simple imparting of a set of defined skills.’

It’s for just this reason that Anne Marie’s programme is flexible and multi-sensory, using visual, auditory and kinaesthetic approaches. It includes elements of NLP, hypnosis, and timeline work, and of course years of experience of finding solutions to the array of difficulties encountered by her clients, both children and adults.

‘Empowerment, flexibility, and sense of worth are key concepts,’ says Anne Marie; ‘We need to empower the student to be able to learn and adapt within a rapidly changing world, and to appreciate his or her valuable contribution to society.’

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Autumn 2008 - rapport

Is your child struggling?

Anne Marie has come up with a set of questions that could help to identify a child who might be struggling at school, including: Do you find it hard to concentrate?

Do you find attending school difficult?

Do you dread being asked to read aloud?

Is your spelling poor?

Is your writing hard to read?

Do you find it hard to get the sense of what you’ve read?

Do you lack self-confidence?

• • • • • • •

Surely most of us can say that we’ve experienced some or even all of the above? ‘Of course,’ says Anne Marie, ‘but while successful learners are able to strengthen their visual processing abilities and develop confidence in their progress, people with persisting problems miss these steps and as embarrassment and fear increase so their problems get worse. So we need to help people change their limiting beliefs about their abilities and give them strategies that work.’

Anne Marie remembers one mum’s tears of joy as she declared of her teenage son, ‘I knew he was clever at other things, but when it came to his school-work he just couldn’t seem to get it before – and now he can!’

Anne Marie finds two labels to be particularly commonly attached to the various problems presented by the children she works with: dyslexia and AD(H)D.

Dyslexia Herself the mother of a child with dyslexia, Anne Marie is well-placed to help others with this problem. The term means ‘difficulty with words’, and the condition tends to run in families. Children don’t usually grow out of it, although the problem may become less apparent in adulthood as people learn how to compensate in other ways, including getting good at avoiding difficult situations.

‘Dyslexia has nothing to do with low IQ or backwardness,’ emphasises Anne Marie.

‘But it can lead to difficulties with learning, which contribute to lack of confidence, low self-esteem, behavioural problems and social difficulties. And although the evidence shows that it’s not associated with intelligence, family background or teaching practices, it can involve a lot of blame, as parents blame the teachers, teachers blame the families, and everyone blames the children, especially the children themselves!’

Surprisingly widespread, affecting some 10% of the population in the UK and Ireland, dyslexia may manifest as a variety of problems, including: delayed and poor reading and spelling; left / right confusion and directional difficulties; problems with logic, sequence, or time awareness; poor writing and motor skills.

Here are just two of the practical, positive ways Anne Marie recommends to address the problem. Remember, learning is easier when it’s fun...

The first exercise gets your brain into gear for visual processing. It shifts the eyes to a different position from the position they take when we’re stuck in our feelings. It can be done before any reading or writing task; it can also restore alertness and even relieve headaches.

Keeping your head straight, move your eyes in an arc, from left to right and back again.

•

EDUCATION

•

Repeat at least seven times, and notice the change in how you feel...

Practising the second exercise will help to integrate left/right brain hemisphere coordination and auditory and kinaesthetic processing. Do you remember the old Ready Brek ad? With one hand pat the top of your head while saying, ‘I’m just great!’ Then with the other hand rub your tummy clockwise and say, ‘I love (your favourite food, or whatever you like). Now do both these actions simultaneously while saying each phrase.

What happens? Then swap hands and have a good laugh!

Attention Deficit / Hyperactivity Disorder – AD(H)D Attention Deficit, which may or may not include Hyperactivity, puts enormous demands on parents, teachers, and of course the affected children. Symptoms can include hyperactivity, forgetfulness, lack of organisation, impulsiveness, procrastination, distractibility, and lack of self-confidence, and children with AD(H)D receive such negative feedback from other people that they begin to doubt their capabilities, perceive themselves as being ‘different’ or ‘weird’, and start to devalue school and learning, which of course has a knock-on effect in the rest of their lives.

As someone who experiences many of the diagnostic symptoms much of the time, often varying according to circumstances, I have doubts about the AD label. Is it the pathologizing of the normal energy of children erupting due to changes in the way of bringing up children? More chillingly, is it a contrivance of the drug industry? Children used to be running about playing outside; nowadays they’re sitting indoors watching TV and playing computer games. If I lived like that, I’d go nuts. If I were a child I’m sure I’d become unmanageable and be deemed hyperactive.

Anne Marie says, ‘We need to ask ourselves, do we really want to hand over responsibility

for our children’s behaviour to the drug companies? Currently, conventional medicine offers drug treatment, specifically Ritalin and amphetamines. And although studies of amphetamine use for AD(H)D show some improvement in overt behaviour and cognitive skills, would you like to subject your child to the risk of the acknowledged side-effects of tics, hallucinations, abdominal pains and loss of appetite? We need to treat the whole child and not just the presenting behavioural symptoms. Here are wonderfully creative minds operating out of control! We need to reconnect the children with the kinaesthetics of their emotions and teach them how to control their minds so they can start to enjoy learning. Then, as their behaviour improves, they receive more positive feedback from others and the downward spiral switches into a virtuous circle.’

A student’s emotional and mental state has a huge impact on his or her ability to learn. Anne Marie recommends Alpha State exercises and Eye Tracking exercises combined with Time Line Therapy for helping children diagnosed with AD(H)D. Try this quick Alpha State exercise and notice the difference in how you feel.

Empowerment, flexibility and a sense of worth are key concepts

above eye level and look •up forPicka fewa spot seconds. Notice the things you can see in your peripheral vision.

Now return your eyes to normal eye level and continue to be aware of your peripheral vision while you resume your activities.

I’m glad that attitudes in education are changing, and programmes like this are becoming available. When I was a child, what I learned in school and how I learned it (the memory of reciting multiplication tables can still induce nausea) had little relevance to the rest of my life. As Anne Marie puts it, learning should be for life, not just for school, and her programme is based on this belief. ‘It’s not just about solving difficulties,’ she says. ‘It’s about empowerment. The changes we make change the way people perceive themselves.

If you see yourself as a successful learner, your confidence improves as new behaviours become stronger and more lasting. This in turn empowers everything you do, including studies, friendships, course choices, career choices and relationships – so this really is learning for life.’

•

Anne Marie Ferris can be reached at email: ferris.annemarie@gmail.com website: www.learning4life.ie

rapport - Autumn 2008

| 19

INTERNATIONAL

United Arab Emirates

By Carol Talbot

T

he United Arab Emirates is a Middle Eastern Federation of seven states.

The country’s growing business sector and its tourist industry have helped to fuel a construction boom, with billions of dollars being pumped into showpiece schemes. Chic hotels and skyscrapers are emblematic of cities such as Abu Dhabi and cosmopolitan Dubai.

Dubai itself boasts a lot of superlatives: the world’s fastest growing city, tallest building, most tower cranes, biggest man-made harbour, most ambitious offshore building developments, highest percentage of Rolls Royce’s, and even the world’s biggest flag. It probably also holds the record for the world’s most diverse society, with many more nationalities living here than are represented at the United Nations. This makes running NLP programs ‘interesting’ to say the least!

I came to this region over 15 years ago and was swept up in the diversity of culture. With a growing number of training companies in the region and many more sending consultants from overseas, I also realized that our company (Matrix Training Solutions) required a competitive edge! NLP offered that edge and we now use its tools and techniques as the foundation for all our programs to change lives and transform performance. Our coaches and consultants are all Master Practitioners and/or trainers of NLP and with coaching gaining momentum around the globe this ensures new tools and techniques get translated into action back to the workplace.

While the UAE is one of the most liberal countries in the Gulf, with other cultures and beliefs generally tolerated, the interest in NLP has been quietly growing. An expat lifestyle and fast-paced work culture translates into a work force that is constantly changing and we have noticed a growing number of professionals attending our programs to gain that ‘competitive edge.’ In addition, organizations are requesting in-house NLP based programs to further develop their teams!

In a program of 24 I typically have about 15 different nationalities; Indians (who make up the highest percentage of the population in the UAE), there’s always a few Brits and usually some Americans, South Africans, Lebanese, Egyptians, Australians and Europeans. After that it is a smorgasbord of every nationality under the sun.

Training such a mixed batch presents some unusual challenges. For instance, some of our in-house NLP programs with UAE nationals have required simultaneous Arabic translation, and if our communication is only as effective as the response we get back, then using a competent multilingual coaching team ensures delegates maximize usability during our programs. A highly diverse cultural group also requires an appreciation for different models of the world. On the plus side, delegates leave our programs having had an opportunity to practice the tools and techniques with a wide variety of people from different backgrounds and cultures.

That means that they really can translate those new found skills to anywhere in the world!

Organizations are requesting in-house NLP based programs to further develop their teams!

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Autumn 2008 - rapport

Carol Talbot is an enthusiastic, energetic and versatile consultant with a wide resource of tools, techniques, practices and processes to inspire others into becoming actively involved in their personal development. An NLP Certified Trainer, Trainer of Hypnosis, Master Trainer of Time Line Therapy®, a certified Master Firewalk Instructor she has a strong personal interest in holistic development and accelerated learning.

Email: carol@matrixdubai.com www.matrix-training.com

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T H E C O M M U N I C AT I O N S K I L L S E X P E RT S

CELEBRITY

Lisa Butcher

By Eve Menezes Cunningham

I’m very open to things. I want things that will work quickly. I’m very much into self improvement

L

isa Butcher found out she’d won a modelling competition on her 15th birthday. She spent the next two decades modelling and moved into presenting. Most recently, she’s been co-presenting What Not To Wear with her friend Mica Paris.

Her approach with the women they styled was more compassionate than the show’s original presenters, Trinny and Susannah. Lisa says she has always been interested in helping people feel better about themselves Lisa had experienced NLP and recently, Cognitive Hypnotherapy helped her to recover from the loss of her father and ex-husband. She says, “My father died, and the father of my kids died two weeks later.”

She was scheduled to start presenting What Not To Wear within a month of these bereavements so asked Trevor Silvester, the person who had trained her friend in NLP, to help her.

Lisa says, “I couldn’t fall to pieces on screen. I had to find ways of making myself better and dealing with the deaths. Trevor managed to centre me more and give me the tools I needed. He showed me pressure points and made me a tape that I used to listen to when I went to work. I downloaded it on my iPod so whenever I felt a bit wobbly, I could listen to it.

“I’m not one for sticking around with bad feelings. Life’s too short. If you have an issue you get it sorted out.” Lisa had four sessions but says “You don’t really need that many. I’m very open to things. I want things that will work quickly. I’m very much into self improvement. I always want to be the best person and to get better at my job. I read a lot of books and, for a short while, wanted to be a counsellor myself.

My interest is in making people feel better around me.

I’m not only doing it to improve me but to improve my relationships.”

Lisa says her proudest achievement is her children.

Olivia is 14 and Amber is 12. She says, “They’re absolutely lovely.” It must be strange to think that she was only a year older than her eldest when she started modelling.

When she looks back at her life then, Lisa says she wishes she’d known how much potential she had. “I wish I’d had the confidence when I was 15 that I have now. I wish I’d had the wisdom.”

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CELEBRITY

“I’m a very spiritual person. I grew up in the Far East so Trevor Silvester explains how Cognitive Hypnotherapy works here: grew up around Buddhists, Muslims, Sikhs. I definitely believe We identify what we call the client’s problem pattern, made up of context in a higher power. I was brought up Catholic but would say I (the memories that create the response) the structure (the trance phenomena feel closer to Buddhism. I believe you get back what you put and submodalities from which the perception of the problem is formed), out. But I’m not a new age hippy. I’ve had an awful lot of the process (how they ‘do’ their problem) and consequence (how our brains death to deal with and my spiritual beliefs have helped me.” project the anticipated outcome of the present situation).

“Trevor turned my life around. Having to do what I had Each technique we use is aimed at a different part of the pattern. We to do just after a bereavement felt believe that every technique impossible.” from any approach works within Things are looking up for Lisa and one or other of the parts of her new collection for Long Tall Sally the problem. And every client’s comes out next year. She’s also started pattern is unique to them, so her own production company so will be no two smokers, or phobias are • Look through magazines doing more of her own TV shows, too. the same or will respond to the same interventions. You have to • Think about the trends you like What is Cognitive design it based on the information • Adapt them to your shape Hypnotherapy? you get from them about their • Adapt them to fit your lifestyle Trevor Silvester founded The Quest problem.

Institute with his wife, Rebecca, in We also get information about • Take one element of the trend and make it yours 2001. At first, they’d intended to their solution state - what their help people with serious illnesses world would be without their but are using it more widely. They problem - i.e. their evidence for incorporate an eclectic range of improvement. We use wordweaving influences from NLP and Positive to prime the brain to bring to the Psychology to Evolutionary foreground evidence available in Psychology and cognitive theory. the world around them that fits Their background was in the police their criteria. Essentially it retunes and they used NLP to help people their filters to notice what is right who were failing the police training. in their world, instead of what’s Over time, they found that although wrong. the techniques worked with exam I used wordweaving a lot with phobias and study skills, they could Lisa to prime her unconscious to also be applied to things like anxiety anticipate the kind of confident disorders, phobias and smoking. behaviour she wanted. Again, it Cognitive Hypnotherapy emerged contains key concepts from NLP from this. (like the Milton model and neuro Cognitive Hypnotherapy stresses logical levels) but incorporates the point that we all go into trance ideas about trance phenomena states in our day-to-day lives. For that moves hypnotherapists away example, while driving, you may from their reliance on one-size-fitssuddenly realise you have no idea all scripts. how you got from A to B. Trevor, With someone who lacks Rebecca and their graduates use confidence you find what in their natural trance states to get to the past created that belief and work root of the feelings, thoughts and to reframe it, and/or change the memory patterns causing the issue submodalities of the thought the client wants help with. patterns that maintain the belief Although many people are a bit and/or teach them things to apprehensive about any kind of interrupt their strategy, and use hypnotherapy, Trevor is confident wordweaving to prime a positive that all their graduates work to high consequence to their actions. standards and ethics. Also, if fear of losing control concerns you, he says If you would like to find out more you can stop at anytime and you’re about training in Cognitive always in complete control.

Hypnotherapy with Trevor and Rebecca, Trevor says that while Cognitive please visit: www.questinstitute.co.uk Hypnotherapy contains important If you’d like to experience it yourself, elements of NLP and standard you can also find a therapist on hypnotherapy, it has its own this site. methodology.

Express yourself with confidence Lisa’s top tips

I’m not one for sticking around with bad feelings.

Life’s too short. If you have an issue you get it sorted out

rapport - Autumn 2008

| 23

BUSINESS

How the Credit Crunch can Work for You It’s not all doom and gloom as Teresa Reay discusses immediate strategies and long-term vision for sustainable change

By Caitlin Collins

D

ynamic people say that it’s in times of difficulty, when we’re stretched, that we’re most motivated to draw on our creativity and resourcefulness. Being less than dynamic myself, my own default strategy when stretched is to dive under the duvet and hide until things improve. Having recently been under the duvet quite a lot while trying to be, um, creative and resourceful about my finances, I was delighted to have the chance of interviewing business consultant and NLP Master Practitioner Teresa Reay about how to cope with the credit crunch.

Teresa, who works with Evolution Training in West Sussex, has weathered many ups

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Autumn 2008 - rapport

and downs during her 30 years’ experience in business. She’s decidedly dynamic, and it rapidly became evident that far from discussing ‘coping’ with the financial crisis, our chat would be about finding the opportunities amid apparent adversity, with not a duvet in sight!

‘Just look at the news, and how much the media is fuelling the public perception of this economic slowdown as a crisis,’ says Teresa, briskly. ‘We don’t have to buy into this doom and gloom scenario! We need to maintain a sense of perspective: financial reviews say we’re in a slowdown, but it isn’t the early 90s over again.’

Immediate opportunities Teresa goes on to explain how, typically, businesses reduce their marketing during hard times while putting more pressure on their sales teams to meet targets. ‘This doesn’t work!

Instead of harassing the staff, managers should be supporting them! Their competitors will be cutting spending, so it’s an opportunity to attract new clients to what will appear as a blooming business compared to others who’ll seem stagnant.’

I raise an objection, one rather personal and close to home. What about the harsh reality of a dwindling income? Doesn’t that mean that outgoings must be trimmed?

BUSINESS

‘You need to set realistic targets, and that may mean lowering them. By setting targets you can achieve, you gain confidence. And, wherever possible, be creative: find ways to draw on other skills and experience.’

Mmm, I can relate to this advice. Having cut back on my advertising, I’ve been pushing my staff (ie me) to drum up business – and meeting resistance as the staff retreated under its duvet in response to the pressure. So I like the idea of being more supportive to myself.

I’m also reassured to learn that I’m doing the right thing by diversifying, as in addition to my usual coaching, horse-work and writing, I’ve started operating a sort of crêche for latchkey dogs (with mixed results – we’re still tidying up the last partying puppy!).

Teresa recommends four key strategies for turn-around.

Reframe what seems to be a problem as an opportunity. Just as umbrella sellers do well on rainy days, confectioners are doing well out of the current gloom as people are buying more chocolate to cheer themselves up. So you need to be finding and promoting your own chocolate.

Change or expand your perspective. The NLP perceptual positions exercise is a good one. Imagine standing in your clients’ shoes: what’s it like for them, what do they really want, and how do they perceive you? Then imagine being in the position of an independent observer or mentor: what advice might he or she offer you in terms of your being able to help your clients?

Bring discipline to your goal-setting.

Come up with realistic, achievable outcomes.

It’s no good being so attached to your past successes that you lose the flexibility to respond to present-day changing realities.

Ensure your emotional state is positive and resourceful. Panicky rabbit-in-theheadlights won’t help you; neither will paws-in-the-air surrender. The NLP exercises of anchoring and circle of excellence are great for state management; or you could try modelling someone you admire as a pillar of strength and ocean of resource in adversity: imagine how they might think, feel and act in your circumstances.

•

•

of the developed world relies on free-flowing cash and easy credit; as the cash river slows down, sluggish with cold, and the credit market freezes over, the economy is solidifying into ice. Watery metaphors are particularly apt given the state of the environment as exemplified by the shrinking global icecaps, debatably due to the rapaciousness of humanity, which rapaciousness has led to an economic model which exploits fear and greed, based on a false philosophy of perpetual growth, while the poor get poorer, the rich get richer, the oil peaks and the planet groans... A values check, anyone?

We’ve got to change,’ agrees Teresa. ‘It never occurred to me that the oil would run out – but it’s obvious now that it’s going to happen. I’ve cut back on travelling; I do as much as I can by telephone or video call instead.’

exercises are also helpful in this context too.

What can we learn from the past? Where are we going in our future? What sort of a future do we want for ourselves and our children?’

Teresa recommends the SCORE Model, developed by Robert Dilts, to help you to identify the components necessary to consider for making sustainable changes. Try placing labelled pieces of paper on the floor, as illustrated, and walking through this exercise.

1. Stand at Symptom (the conscious aspects of the present situation) facing the future.

Describe briefly the current situation.

2. Move to Outcome and describe the goal that you would like to replace your present situation.

3. Move to Effects (the results of the Outcome) and consider the consequences of achieving your outcome, for yourself and others.

4. Step back to Cause and ask ‘What’s causing this symptom? What has stopped me achieving this outcome in the past?

5. Move to Resources. What resources do you need to achieve your goal?

6. Take those Resources to the Cause and notice what changes.

7. Take these changes into the Symptom and notice what has changed.

8. Now that you’re free to achieve your outcome, step into Outcome and experience the sense of achieving your goal.

9. Step into Effects and experience the benefits of achieving your outcome: Yippee!

Our conversation leaves me feeling hopeful.

It’s important to focus positively on what we can do, now and in the long term, to survive and flourish and help others to do likewise.

The credit crunch may turn out to be a wake-up call and we need to be prepared for changes in concepts, values, beliefs and actions throughout the world. But let’s follow Teresa’s advice and reframe this: a period of difficulty, when we’re most acutely aware of the need to gain access to our creativity and resourcefulness, surely offers a great opening for coaches – in fact it could be an opportunity for all of us.

It’s no good being so attached to your past successes that you lose the flexibility to respond to present-day changing realities

• •

Long-term vision On a rapport-roll by this time, Teresa and I enjoy a reciprocal rant about the farreaching implications of the present economic uncertainty. The prevalent economic model

The spiral dynamics developmental model of values is illuminating in this wider context.

The traditional ‘orange’ model of commerce, as exemplified by the Thatcher era, is being challenged. ‘Many people in the personal development field are saying that our society is going through a tremendous change in values,’ Teresa points out. ‘We used to be heavily family-oriented; then it was me-meme; now we’re heading up the spiral towards an appreciation of interconnectedness.’

I mention how I recently met some business people, very me-me-me focused, who seemed to me rather old-fashioned, like dinosaurs – not only out of date, but doomed. ‘Exactly!’ says Teresa. ‘Such attitudes are becoming increasingly out-moded and unsustainable.’

So growing up involves becoming aware of the consequences of our actions for ourselves and others, and accepting our individual and collective responsibilities? ‘Absolutely.

As we acknowledge the butterfly effect – that a tiny event here can trigger a huge effect elsewhere – we must realise that we can’t go on dismissing issues as “not my problem”.’

Both personally and in a business context, Teresa recommends that we revisit our values and reassess our beliefs from time to time. ‘We need to notice how they change as part of the process of maturing,’ she says. ‘Timeline

Teresa can be reached at email: teresa.reay@evolutiontraining.co.uk www.valko.co.uk Evolution Training Ltd are currently offering a series of workshops designed to support businesses through the credit crunch: www.evolutiontraining.co.uk

rapport - Autumn 2008

| 25

HEALTH

NLP and nutrition

We all know that certain foods and drinks are much better for us than others.

But at what point do we decide that consequences like bloating, pain or bad skin are more important that taste? And how can we tell what our body is trying to tell us about certain food?

By Eve Menezes Cunningham

Sanna’s Top Tips

THE NUTRITIONAL THERAPIST

S

anna Anderson combines nutrition with coaching skills. She says, “It is useful as part of the nutrition consultation. It is often not enough just to tell clients what they need to change in their diet to achieve their goals.

Some coaching and motivational work is also needed to ensure those changes happen.

“I’ve always been passionate about food – cooking and eating mainly. Being a nutritional therapist you get to talk about food a lot.

But you can also make a huge difference to

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Autumn 2008 - rapport

someone’s health and wellbeing.”

Most of Sanna’s clients seek her out for help with “Stress related issues such as low energy, digestive complaints (the good old IBS, which is such an unhelpful diagnosis), skin complaints (such as acne that hasn’t responded to antibiotics) and hormonal issues.”

When it comes to her own health Sanna says, “I’ve never eaten really badly, but my eating habits have certainly changed since studying nutrition. Food used to be mainly about taste and texture. Now I also think much more about its nutritional content and what it’s providing my body.

“It has a huge impact on energy levels, can boost immunity, improve mood, help with chronic conditions like asthma, hayfever and eczema, stop you from feeling bloated and having indigestion – the list is actually quite endless.”

• Not everything that says ‘low fat’ or ‘diet’ in the box is good for you.

• Real food is often better when you know what you are looking for.

• Have a good breakfast – it can make a huge difference to your energy levels throughout the day. And often, it will stop you snacking on extra calories during the day.

• By “good breakfast” I don’t mean any of the commercial cereals, most of which are high in sugar and salt. Choose “real” food such as porridge, scrambled egg on rye toast or natural yoghurt with berries and muesli.

To find out more about Sanna, please visit www.thenutritioncoach.co.uk

HEALTH

THE AYURVEDIC NUTRITIONIST

A

yurveda is one of the worlds oldest medical systems. Literally translated, it means “the science of life” and it goes back more than 5000 years. Louise Cashin says, “Before people come along for a consultation I ask them to keep a ‘food diary’ for a week and complete a constitutional questionnaire and a short ‘lifestyle’ questionnaire. This gives me some background but it is really when I meet the person that I can get the full picture.”

Louise pays attention to the way they look and sound as well as what they say to identify their Ayurvedic constitutional type. She listens to “the depth as well as the speed of their voice.

Sometimes I ask to look at their tongue. A lot of information is available if you know how to ‘read’ someone’s tongue. I take their pulses and sometimes look at their nails/hands and eyes.”

If the person can’t come to Louise, they can send a photo and do the consultation by telephone or, if they have the facilities, video conference. Louise says that when she knows their constitutional type, she can advise them on all sorts of things: “What foods to enjoy and those to avoid, times of day best to eat and things likely to disturb them (i.e. specific foods, stress, eating on the run and all sorts of things related to lifestyle).

“I provide general recommendations.

Remember, in Ayurveda, it is not just food that we digest, but the air we breathe and the emotions we feel. Exercise to increase oxygen levels in the blood and lifestyle considerations are as key to a healthy digestion and absorption as the food we eat. I try and keep it simple and easy to fit into their existing routines as much as possible. Otherwise, even with the best intentions, it won’t be maintained.”

Louise uses some coaching skills, too. She asks her clients a range of questions about their health history, jobs, hobbies and lifestyle.

She says, “I am trying to ascertain the levels of stress or conflict in their lives as this is often the source of the problem.” She also asks about what they’d like to improve and prioritise.

That is, she says, “What’s their number one thing? Loosing weight, making more time to meditate? What are they happy about in their life, appearance or health? What are they not happy with? What would they like to change? I also ask lots of subtle questions to gauge their commitment. Ayurvedic nutrition is very much a two way thing. I can only help them if they are willing to work at it a bit too.

“Usually people come to me to find a better way to eat and be healthy. But actually, they hate their job or eat because they are bored.

Or they crave sugar as they feel unloved and so on. Someone who came to me just wanted a bit of advice on managing her weight but actually she was desperate to get pregnant. So we worked on some ideas around that and yes you guessed correctly – a few years later she has two beautiful children!”

She says, “I am continually surprised by how many people are so unaware of their physical body and how they react to certain foods.

They keep eating things that clearly upset their stomach or irritate the bowel. Certain foods can also affect our moods - chocolate being the most famous.

If you are serious about wanting to improve your health and wellbeing, manage your weight or fight fatigue, you must take more notice of what’s going on in your body and your mind.

“Watch out for the affects of caffeine, alcohol, excess sugar, really salty foods and things like wheat and nuts. Just take note of what you have eaten next time you feel down

and depressed or have tummy upset. You may be inadvertently causing yourself illness. I know I am a little intolerant of milk but often love to have a few flat white coffees from my favourite coffee shop. Yet so many times I then suffer from irritable bowel!”

VATA, PITTA AND KAPHA There are three constitutional types in Ayurveda. Louise says: Vata, in general, will feel happier eating little and often, they tend to have variable appetites and need to eat wholesome, warm foods. Cooked foods - things like a hearty stew are good for them with lots of vegetables and rice. Breakfast is very important for Vata and a cooked breakfast is recommended or a nice warm bowl of porridge. (Unfortunately they are the least likely to want it.) Skipping breakfast is not good for Vata. Things with little calorific value are not helpful for Vata. Eating cold salads all the time aggravates Vata.

Pitta, in general, can eat most things without upsetting their constitution. They can eat at any time of the day, even late at night. Pittas have good appetites generally but can’t skip meals. They get very irritated if they miss a meal. Cool drinks are better than hot drinks.

• Eat seasonal fresh food rather than irritated/ Too much spicy food can give Pitta processed/preserved food. too much heat – they don’t need to • Prepare it lovingly. Consider the place and atmosphere. be heated up – they are hot enough to start with! Too much tea and • Don’t eat when you are upset and always sit down coffee is bad for Pitta as they don’t to eat. need much caffeine.

• Eat only when you are hungry.

Kapha in general needs to eat things which are ‘dry’. Avoid • Don’t talk while you are chewing food. And don’t rich, saucy food and cooking in talk about business or important decisions. oil. They can skip breakfast and • Wait until one meal has digested before eating get away with it. Hot spicy food the next. can be helpful for Kapha loosing weight. Kapha should avoid sweet • Don’t “stuff” yourself. Leave a third to one things, processed foods with a lot quarter empty to aid digestion. of sugar and fizzy drinks. Avoid • Sit quietly for a few minutes after your meal. fried foods at all costs. Kaphas are inclined to water retention To find out more about Ayurvedic Nutrition, visit: so should not drink excessive www.yoga-yoga.co.uk and contact Louise to ask for amounts (and especially not lots details about her online questionnaire. of beer!).

In Ayurveda, it is not just food that we digest, but the air we breathe and the emotions we feel

Louise’s Top Tips

rapport - Autumn 2008

| 27

HEALTH

they’re lying, it’s very easy to push down.

Andrea Ward became interested in kinesiology through a yoga workshop. She says, “We did kinesiology in the afternoon and it was jawdropping.” When Andrea sees clients, she suggests having a full treatment as it may involve more than nutrition.

She says, “All the meridians link to muscles.

If someone comes to me with digestive problems, I start with some basic checks and then ask about digestive muscles, large intestines, small intestines, digestive enzymes and so on. My role is to decide what to look for. To ask the right questions. I try to narrow it down to find out what the problem is. Once narrowed down, I check by asking the body if that is the priority to fix.”

THE KINESIOLOGIST

K

inesiology is often known as “muscle testing” or even “the arm thing”. You’ve probably seen it demonstrated when someone gets a volunteer to raise their arm and hold it firm while they push it down. When saying something true, the arm holds steady but when

28 |

Autumn 2008 - rapport

To find a qualified kinesiologist in your area, visit the Kinesiology Federation www.kinesiologyfederation.org If you’d like to find out more about Andrea’s practice or book with her, please email: andrearward@hotmail.com

Andrea’s Top Tips • If you’re buying any vitamins or supplements don’t always go for the cheapest one. The nutrients aren’t always easily absorbed and some (e.g. cheap vitamin C) might be hard on the stomach.

• Be careful, particularly if you’re taking individual supplements. Taking an all round mineral can be pretty good but when you start taking high doses of certain vitamins, they can have side effects.

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Iȇm noticing so much now as Iȇm speaking to others - their language patterns, sensory information…

The programme has created a real shift in me, and Iȇm finding it so exciting being able to use my learning to help others...

Still assimilating the most amazing nine days of my life and really excited about where the journey will take me...

Iȇve also reached new levels of self-awareness that I never felt possible...

The mix of practical exercises, challenging and provocative discussions and knowledgeable and fascinating input, led to a truly memorable learning experience…

Joe Cheal

Melody Cheal

Joe and Melody Cheal are both management development specialists and have been working with NLP since 1993. As well as running Practitioner and Master Prac courses certified by the Society of NLP, they also offer ILM diplomas in Coaching & Leadership.

Are you ready for the experience now?

COACHING

Martha Beck

Guiding readers and clients out of the darkness and coaching by starlight

By Eve Menezes Cunningham

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artha Beck appears regularly on Oprah and is well known for blending humour and compassion with science and psychology. Her latest book, Steering by Starlight is out now. Her other books include Finding Your Own North Star, The Four Day Win, The Joy Diet, Leaving the Saints and Expecting Adam.

In her typical funny and self deprecating fashion, Martha shrugs off her sense of humour as “something I had to develop to cope with the fact that people were always laughing at me. My family had a very British sense of humour. I grew up obsessed with British radio and TV humour. I love comedy. I love things that make me laugh. If you’re not going to laugh, life’s going to be pretty grim.”

Martha’s background is very eclectic. A Harvard educated social scientist, she also studied Chinese and became drawn to Buddhism. Now she uses elements from these and other influences to help people. In Steering

By Starlight, Martha blends social science, neuroscience, Buddhism and even Shamanism to get her message across.

She says, “I didn’t set out to be a coach and had been coaching for several years, calling it ‘life design’ or ‘career advice’. I didn’t know about coaching. I’d never advertised.”

Martha says she only found out she was a life coach when she heard herself referred to as “America’s best known life coach” by USA Today. She has since been called the same by Psychology Today and National Public Radio.

Her practice started when her business school students started asking her if they could pay her to help them with their lives outside of class. Martha says she couldn’t believe that she

was being paid to do something so enjoyable but “they kept coming.

Since I was a child, I was obsessed with people’s lives. I wanted my students to be happy and that was alien to them.”

Other clues that her gift for bringing the best out of people wasn’t something everyone shared, were when friends would tell her that they felt inspired and wonderful after talking to her. She joked, “That’s so interesting because I don’t feel like that about you at all!”

Like many people who help so many people, Martha had a rough start in life. She says, “I spent a lot of my early life in a lot of emotional pain. People would tell me ‘It’s all in your head’ and I’d say ‘I completely agree. Please tell me how to get it out!’” Now she says, “Suffering is a gift to motivate us.”

Now Martha says coaching is “practically becoming a social movement. I think it’s because all cultures have run into each other so there’s no one set of rules.

If we don’t start behaving differently, we’ll ruin the planet. There’s a sense of urgency and people don’t go to religion so much. Psychology is reiterating old stories which is only effective up to a point. Medicine takes something unhealthy and tries to get it healthy. Coaches take healthy people and try to get them even better. I’m excited by some of the things that have been coming out of new psychology, understanding of the brain, the origin of problems.”

As her coaching practice has evolved, Martha says, “Now I know you don’t need to talk about how the wound occurred, you just need to get rid of the wound.” She tells the story of the guy who was wounded by an arrow and, rather than asking what colour the

I love things that make me laugh. If you’re not going to laugh, life’s going to be pretty grim

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bow had been or where the arrow had come from, the healer focused on healing the wound.

Martha says, “I was spending hours and hours and hours with clients, talking about how their mother had done this and so on. Now we just get rid of it.”

Martha’s most controversial book, Leaving the Saints, is a memoir about leaving the Mormon Church she’d grown up in. It’s a moving and inspiring read and, in spite of the heavy subject, surprisingly laugh-out-loud funny in parts. It must have taken so much courage to write, I wondered if it had been a way of healing her past and if she now thought she needn’t have written it.

Martha says, “I didn’t write the book as therapy. I came to the conclusion that it was impossible to believe some of these teachings and be a happy functional human being.

I didn’t write the book until I felt healed.

When something that intense happens to you, there’s a reason. You have to decide what you’re going to do with it. I didn’t want to overwhelm anybody but wanted both sides to be represented.”

When Martha described the crippling illnesses she was dealing with at the time and the realisation that the only way she could heal her body was by writing the book, her decision to face the wrath of the religion she’d grown up with makes more sense.

I always turn to Martha’s coaching column in Oprah magazine as soon as it lands on my doormat. Packed with humour and solid advice as well as scientific theory, Martha says she really struggles with the writing. “I’m struggling

COACHING

with a magazine article right now. The discipline of forcing myself to boil down my thoughts into a linear form never gets easier.”

The perfectionist in her has learned to “Get it on the green. I’m not a golfer but I understand the concept of trying to get a hole in one. The first time I had to do some creative writing, I was at school. I had to write a poem at 15 and they literally had to put me on Valium.” So over the years, Martha has decide to take some of the pressure off herself.

She says, “It’s never going to be fabulous but I just need to get it on the green so people understand.”

Although she’s excited about the growth in coaching, Martha’s quite alarmed by some of the “different techniques and standards. I’ve heard some people presenting things as coaches that makes me want to stab myself: All the stuff about goal setting and positive thinking, RaRa enthusiasms.” She hopes that more coaches will “integrate what’s being done

in new psychology.”

With her own clients, Martha uses some kinesiology to figure out how they really feel about what they’re telling her (and themselves).

She says, “The first thing I do is a muscle test.

When they say ‘I love to vomit!’ with great enthusiasm, they become weak.” This is her way of illustrating that positive thinking doesn’t always work. Martha also uses the muscle testing to help her clients express the truths they already know.

Quick decision making – Does this option taste of freedom?

Martha tells a story about how you can tell if any body of water originated from the ocean because it tastes of salt. Likewise, enlightenment always tastes of freedom.

So to find out if you’re steering by starlight in your own life, take any element of your day (it might be today’s To Do List or a party you’ve been invited to) and ask yourself how you feel. Is it a “shackles off” (freedom) feeling? Or is it a “shackles on” (prison) feeling? Which decisions are you going to make more of?

Martha’s quick guide to life coaching: Client:

I have no idea what to do with my life.

Coach:

Yes you do. [Pause while looking deeply into their eyes]. You know exactly what to do.

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NLP

What Drives

Robert Ford?

Robert Ford’s involvement in motorsport led him into working with racing drivers at Brands Hatch. Working with one client there changed his direction and now he works with people whose lives have been affected by serious road (and race track) accidents – and gets them driving with confidence again. Andy Coote talked to him.

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he effects of a serious accident whilst driving go far beyond the (often) severe physical injuries. The mental scars can remain much longer and be far more debilitating. Many people have difficulty resuming driving or driving in certain conditions (night, wet, motorways) and some have problems even getting into a car again.

Motorsport has become much safer over the years but still has its serious accidents (or ‘offs’ as they are sometimes referred to). So it seems logical that a motorsport instructor should develop a skill in helping people to overcome these problems.

Robert Ford (also known as Bob or Bobby) has been a fan of motorsport since he was 8 years old. After competing in off-road motorsport and running an off-road owners club for several years, he took the opportunity of a chance meeting at Brands Hatch to secure a job there as an instructor. Over 12 years there he instructed on driving the circuit, on rally driving, 4-wheel drive and other specialist driving activities.

Motorsport instructing requires an insight into people and their motivations. As Robert comments, “as an instructor, sitting with a driver at race speeds with no dual control, you need to understand how people work. You quickly get a better understanding of that and learn the danger signs.” People come to the race track for many different reasons. “In a year the race track might get up six people who aim to kill themselves. As an instructor, you need to be able to pick up on that.” On one occasion, a driver, who had already caused some suspicion, was seen putting something under himself as he sat down. “We asked him to get out of the car and he refused. We persuaded him that we needed him out so that we could adjust the seat belts.When he got out there was his suicide note on the seat.”

Assessing a client when they arrive at the track is therefore critical. “If a client turns up with their own crash helmet, we might have concerns. If they come with all the gear, they may either be too good, or more likely, clueless. There is a saying - “all the gear -no idea”.

So it was that when one client turned up with all the gear, Robert’s heart sank a little. “Walking to the car, he said “I suppose you wonder why I’m wearing all this gear?” It turned out that 8 years before he had an accident at Brands and hadn’t been able to get into a car unsedated since”. Whilst driving a kit car he had lost control and 7 other vehicles

had ploughed into him. It had taken him seven years to get his motor skills back and to start walking unaided again. “But his main problem wasn’t physical. He was reliving the accident every time he got into a car.

Following the accident, his wife had learned to drive and now drove him everywhere. He would take sleeping pills, get into the car in a darkened garage and only start the journey once he was asleep”.

Robert worked with him, starting by getting him to sit in the vehicle in his own time. Seeing that this process could take longer than the usual instructional slot, Robert got someone to cover him whilst he worked with the client. “I was using techniques natural to me - calming techniques mostly”. After calming him down, Robert asked what he was trying to achieve. They began by analysing what made the client avoid getting into the car. In the course of a 3 hour session, he got into the car, started it and then drove a short distance. Finally, he drove around the circuit including the place where he’d had the original accident. “The client’s goal had been to get into the car and we surpassed that. He and his wife were booked overnight in a hotel so that he could be sedated for the drive back. After the session he told me that “the only thing stopping me driving the car home is that I’m not insured”. It was then that I realised that this is what I wanted to do.”

The opportunity to do more began to present itself. “A person turned up at Brands Hatch and asked for me. He had had an accident and every time he heard the squeal of brakes, he remembered it in detail. My original client was running a self-help group and referred the guy to me saying, “He knows how to do this”.

Since then, Robert has treated over 100 people for crash therapy with a complete record of success. “I have always been able to help people move forward”. Since training in NLP, Robert now uses the Fast Phobia cure and believes that he could have got the original client to the same place in 15 minutes. “I could have worked on so much more in 3 hours.”

Robert also works with racing drivers, coaching them for performance.

He has been working with Liz Halliday for over 2 years. “Liz is a Le Mans driver and also a top functioning rally driver. As a visual person, when she moved from an open topped car to one with an enclosed cockpit, her performance suffered. We worked on reframing, enabling her to ‘see’ the interior in a different way. She went from qualifying 12th

Motorsport instructing requires an insight into people and their motivations

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NLP

If you change how you feel then you change how you function

to14th and finishing there, to qualifying 3rd and finishing 4th overall”.

Liz is also an Olympic 3 day equestrian hopeful for the 2012 Olympics and, notes Robert, “equally professional at riding and driving. She got back into a race car for Le Mans last year, having been out of sport for a year after her horse threw her and then stepped on her, breaking her collar bone”. Robert is also now working with a young polo team.

“For them, falling off is a regular occurrence. We are concentrating on working as a team and being fully focused on the game.”

Robert now uses NLP techniques with some Behavioural Kinesiology.

His NLP Practitioner course was with Zetetic in Falmouth, Cornwall and his Master Practitioner course was with Paul McKenna and Richard Bandler in London. He uses a wide range of skills to work with his clients. “The aim is to take learned behaviour and rewrite the software.

If you change how you feel then you change how you function. When dealing with trauma, it is a matter of changing how they see that. It is truly life changing and the reward is watching people smile again. It is often the relatives who see the most difference.” Robert uses hypnosis to check that NLP has done its job and to apply some deep consolidation.

“Reframing is very important. Working with sound, vision and/or the feeling of pain associated with the traumatic event, we create a new sound, picture or feeling by turning the elements up and down.”

Robert also uses Timeline Therapy™ to go back and rewrite client experiences to reduce the effect of the trauma on their life. “There is no point in reliving the experience so we keep well above it and join the timeline where it is away from anything sensitive. We can then move along the timeline using the impetus of anger and aggression to push bad things out of the way and to savour the good things. Then the client can look back and often can no longer see the problem.”

“I also use Circle of Excellence quite a bit. By taking good and positive

experiences into the circle and anchoring them we can create triggers to allow them access to positive feelings such as confidence and laughter and to allow pain and fear to disappear. One client told me that when she touched two fingers together, she found she was giggling out loud and couldn’t relive the pain. “I should be feeling nervous, all I want to do is smile and laugh”.”

Robert needed all of his skills when his partner had a big accident leaving Mevagissey in Cornwall in February, 2007. Her car overturned and she was rushed to hospital with serious injuries. She is now back driving but still undergoing long-term treatment for injuries sustained in the accident. Looking back on the experience, Robert reflects, “I never expected to work with someone so close and I found it much harder to do. I was so much closer to the experience of the pain and trauma”. The mental consequences of the accident affected Robert, too. “A fault with the car caused the accident and I had been driving the car the previous day. I felt guilty that, as a professional driver, I should have spotted that there was something wrong. I wished it had been me driving at the time and I suffered 3 months of self blaming. NLP helped to overcome the blaming and allowed me to get my head together.”

Being able to drive a vehicle safely is a skill that for many people is essential – for both social and business reasons. It is a sad fact that, though UK statistics indicate a small reduction in serious injury accidents, there will be no shortage of people who will need Robert’s services. Getting people back behind the wheel is what drives Robert Ford and his passion for doing that was clear throughout our conversation.

Robert can be contacted through his website at: www.livinglifenlp.co.uk/index.html

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SUPPORT

ANLP supporting you in business Building a better website - Online copy writing Whether you’ve already got a website or are thinking of building one soon, the following article will give you a better idea of the do’s and don’ts for a harder working website, focusing on copy writing for the website.

T

here are some simple rules to follow when ensuring your website is highly optimised. Copy content is the very first step in ensuring your site is a hit, closely followed by optimisation.

Content is King Flashy graphics do not make a successful site.

Content is what really brings back browsers and potential clients. If there is one thing that most people know about the Web is that people read differently online than they do papers and books. It is very well appreciated that browsers will lose interest in a matter of minutes and click out.

Good writing starts at the point of creation, and in part, that may be the source of the problem. Too many wordsmiths still write for the Web as if they’re writing for paper. You can easily improve your Web writing, making the content enjoyable, maybe even desirable, to read and start building a relationship with the Browser.

Put yourself in the Browsers shoes You’re looking for something specific, and

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you don’t want to hunt through screen after screen of text to find it. You may want to do something with the content: print it out, request information, make a purchase or even just contact a real person.... and you won’t bother if it’s a struggle.

1. Keep content scannable.

2. Use headlines, questions and answers, bullet points and bold or coloured highlights, but sparingly.

3. Keep content short. a. Write short, direct sentences (general guideline: maximum of 20 to 25 words). b. Break up long paragraphs (general guideline: maximum of three to five sentences). c. Be succinct. Use only your best details and examples. d. Edit ruthlessly. Trim every unnecessary word.

4. Keep content segmented. Split long material into smaller chunks and consider presenting some information as checklists, “at a glance” boxes or Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs).

5. Identify your keywords. What are your keywords? The simple answer is to think about what Browsers will search for when looking for you and specifically your business. Where you are, what you do and maybe how you help. An example for a potential browser for ANLP may be “help quit smoking in Watford”. The first thing to know here is to forget about the “in, of, is, and etc” as Google just ignores these words. Looking at the above example, “quit smoking Watford” are the real keywords that would link directly to our “Find a Practitioner” page with a list of Member practitioners.

6. Avoid extensive use of hard-to-read italics, mixing too many fonts, and using underlines for anything except links.

7. Keep Call to Action statements obvious.

The bottom line: 1. Write with a goal in mind: making a point, teaching or advising, answering a question, prompting an action.

2. Write clearly, concisely, and consistently, in the right tone for your audience.

3. Write with carefully chosen details and examples.

4. Most importantly, write engagingly. No one likes being bored.

5. Know and use your keywords, scattering them throughout your copy.

There is a fine line between generating captivating copy, while also helping to make your website well optimized by Google and other search engines.

Next issue: Website Optimisation.

Ana Patel. Marketing Consultant Associate Member of the Chartered Institute of Marketing

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RESEARCH

NLP and Academia a Meeting of Minds?

The First International NLP Research Conference took place at the University of Surrey on 5th July 2008. Andy Coote was invited along as ‘chronicler’ of the event and gives his impressions in this article.

W

hen Dr. Paul Tosey, the Conference Chair, first mooted the idea that I should be a chronicler of the first NLP Research Conference, I accepted with enthusiasm and a little confusion. What does a chronicler do that a reporter wouldn’t? I’m still confused, though a little less so, and this article will be a reflection of that – part reportage and part impression.

When I arrived at around 9am, the campus of Surrey University was bathed in sunlight.

The registration process was very efficient and I could tell from the number of people already there and the buzz of conversation coming from them, that it was likely to be a lively day.

The Faculty of Management is a bright and airy building on three floors and the Conference was taking place in rooms spread around the building. The opening keynote session was located in a ground floor room with lots of windows. The room was already filling when I got there and I was able to say hello to a number of people that I knew.

Others were doing the same. There was a feeling of coming home to a family, which was not what I was expecting.

So what was I expecting? If I was expecting to find a difference between NLP community and the academic community or even some

unease or reserve between them, that was not apparent. In fact, the similarities were much stronger than the differences. Of course, the audience (and the speakers) were pretty much self-selecting so it was apparent that there was a common cause to be pursued. In fact, many of the people in the room crossed between both communities. Many were both researchers and practitioners. The pursuit of academic qualification at Masters and Doctoral level was a common theme for many there. The 70 delegates represented a very wide spectrum of people from those working in physical sciences to others who are working in the areas of neuroscience, linguistics, phenomenology and people who were just interested in what science makes of what they do on a daily basis as Practitioners of NLP. At this point, it may be worthwhile noting that the Conference was the culmination of a considerable amount of background work by the organisers. A Steering Group consisting of participants from both the University of Surrey and ANLP had put together a programme of keynotes and three breakout sessions along with a number of poster sessions with help from a small group of committed volunteers. The wide-ranging content and the smooth running of the day is a tribute to their efforts.

There was an atmosphere of sharing and openness about the delegates that was encouraging

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Elsewhere in this issue, I’m asking if NLP is a community or if it is made up of commercial businesses looking for an edge and competing with each other – in other words, is it collaborative or is it competitive?

The Conference, at least, was all about collaboration. On arrival, one of the audience remarked, there were absolutely no cliques.

It wasn’t a case of people gravitating towards others that they already knew, there was an atmosphere of sharing and openness about the delegates that was encouraging.

If anyone there was looking for scientific ‘proof ’ they were soon disabused of that belief by keynote speaker Charles Faulkner who asserted that, of course, “science cannot prove anything”. Whilst acknowledging that NLP had been well ahead of its time when Bandler and Grinder published ‘The Structure of Magic’ back in 1975, it was now being overhauled by advances in a variety of scientific disciplines.

Asserting that two of the theories on which NLP was based - the Transformational Grammar theory of Noah Chomsky and Linear Programming –had been significantly changed or sidelined in the intervening years, Faulkner suggested it was time for a new theory.

“It is time for a new springboard in to a new NLP”, he suggested.

Paul Tosey noted that Judith de Lozier, who had visited the School of Management earlier in the year, was also supportive of this idea.

Suggesting that she was involved in ‘search’, she recognised the need for research to support the theories and ideas that came from the search

RESEARCH

process. ‘I would like to offer my warmest support for this innovative conference in NLP, and wish it much success. NLP needs to move on, and the upsurge in research in this area is welcome” she said.

The two keynotes and the breakout sessions explored a large number of areas. I can’t begin to cover in detail the science and research that was discussed – there will be proceedings issued in due course to do that. Here, I think, is where I try to extract some themes.

It is clear that NLP has much to gain by, and much to give to this process Perhaps the biggest theme was not explored directly but came from two presentations that complemented each other. Charles Faulkner pointed out that the assumption in NLP that mind=body and body=mind is being proved by the use of physical science, especially functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI). Didier Clement complemented that with a summary of work on language and the brain, also using neuroscientific methods including fMRI. From this, I concluded that the basic tenet of NLP that language affects the brain which affects the body which affects the mind and results in changed language, is now being shown to be not just useful but also true. A change in any stage of this process can change the others – leading to vicious and virtuous spirals and the possibility of change from one to the other.

As well as neuroscience, presented brilliantly

by Didier Clement, other Physical Sciences are also looking at NLP. Georgios Diamantopolous gave a clear and masterful explanation of the complexity of creating useful experiments to isolate eye movements and showed that the literature on the subject demonstrated that research so far had been flawed. His research continues. In linguistics, Paul Tosey presented research, performed with Jane Mathison, that demonstrated the potential for bringing phenomenology and NLP together, using NLP to map and record subjective experience and proposing it as a potential enhancement to research methods. Jane Mathison suggested that we google ‘cognitive linguistics’ to see the value – and necessity - of working with developing areas of science.

Joe Cheal presented work on the nature of paradox and strategies to handle them. Many of our problems arise from paradoxes and lead to conflict, frustration and sub optimal

performance. I look forward to a model that can be used to choose between the break out sessions at a conference, as I know that I’ve missed at least as much as I’ve been able to represent here.

Frank Bourke from the Research and Recognition project in the USA made an interesting and significant impact on the final Open Frame.

He gave a passionate explanation of his project and how he saw it helping NLP to break through into mainstream therapy and be funded by US Healthcare Insurers.

His view is that if only we can get a foothold and make the first breakthrough, then there would be a cascade of breakthroughs. His current focus is raising $40m to run the Research and Recognition for the next 10 years, to bring universities on board so that they can get the hard evidence that will convince healthcare insurers. He believes that there is a need to establish and maintain networking links between the US, Europe and the UK. “We need to form a community that reaches out beyond NLP into related sciences. We have to make the tent big enough to bring in all these people.” Frank’s view was supported by other speakers at the event. Unless there is a crossover between the NLP community and the scientific communities surrounding it, there is the danger that NLP will be overtaken and marginalized.

Jane Mathison, as part of her closing address, put forward the question, “will NLP be an historical oddity or a mainstream therapy?” It was in conferences like these and the activity that happens between them, she suggested, that we choose the answer.

The Conference is intended to be the start of a process that will continue for as long as necessary to allow NLP to take its place in wider scientific enquiry and move towards becoming a mainstream therapy. It is clear that NLP has much to gain by – and much to give to – this process. It is also clear that it is likely to be changed itself by the process.

Not everyone in the NLP world may welcome that.

Further information on the progress of this and other initiatives to move NLP forward will be reported in future issues of Rapport and we welcome your views by email, letter or through the website.

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TRAINING

Meet the Trainers: Joe & Melody Cheal of The GWiz Learning Partnership This month, we are meeting Melody and Joe Cheal, the couple who embody the ‘yin-yang’ of NLP training.

A

s you’ve written a number of articles about ‘logical levels’, perhaps we could use Dilts’ model to find out more about the two of you and your company.

Let’s start with the spirit level – what is the spirit level of Melody, Joe and The GWiz Learning Partnership?

We consider that NLP has just begun a new ‘re-searching wave’ that is taking us beyond the past waves of simply ‘searching’.

It is not about either/or, it is about a synthesis of the excitement of search and the ‘groundedness’ of research. We certainly align ourselves with those who are seeking to legitimise NLP through research, development and exploration. Joe now has an MSc in ‘Organisational Development & NLP’ and he spoke recently at the first NLP Research Conference at the University of Surrey. His topic was addressing paradox in organisations and how NLP could help. Melody is near completion of an MSc in ‘Applied Positive Psychology’ and she is currently researching the impact of NLP on Self Esteem.

Another aspect of spirit is our desire to

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contribute not just academically to the field of NLP but also to the people we come into contact with. We are passionate that those we train have an extraordinary learning experience… and fun of course! Together we want to inspire our fellow travellers and make their journey easier; ‘enlighten the way’ as it were.

than we could have achieved independently.

Melody is an inspirer of individuals and Joe confesses to be in awe of her ability to help people re-engage with their lives at the most profound level. Joe, on the other hand, is an innovator of ideas and Melody says she admires his ability to create new models and make links between theories.

What about identity – who are you?

In the context of NLP, we are certified trainers and we originally trained in NLP back in 1993.

We are also business consultants with a broad portfolio of services in the fields of personal, interpersonal, management, leadership and organisational development. We have an approach that ‘NLP is not the only fruit… but it is a wonderful ingredient in the recipe’.

As a partnership, when we train together we aim to embody the nature of relationship in our training, to be role models in making relationships work. We both bring different backgrounds and resources to the training and we seek to create a synthesis of styles, like the ‘yin-yang’, giving the course participants more

What are your beliefs and values?

When training and working with NLP, one of our highest values is ‘ecology’. Anything to do with gaining a greater understanding of the minds of others requires an ethical perspective.

Ecology is not about having a long list of do’s and don’ts, it is about awareness of the potential outcomes of our actions. Rather than using ecology to restrict our potential actions, it gives us a freedom to look at alternative ways of achieving what we want. Then we have choices to seek an action that works on as many levels as possible, from the individual to the universe! On the subject of ecology, we believe that it is important to offer people ongoing support after the courses. We actively promote

TRAINING

coaching supervision and we provide a regular practice group.

We also believe that our course participants should consciously understand the principles of NLP by the end of the course, rather than simply to have been entertained. To date, we have kept the number of people on our NLP courses down to about twelve or so. We want ‘course participants’ not ‘members of an audience’. We have sat in an audience through many courses ourselves and we feel there is something essential missing in that approach.

A significant part of NLP is being flexible and we encourage that in our delegates. Just because something has been done one way in the past, doesn’t mean it is the only way of doing it! In an endeavour to be flexible ourselves, we have experimented with different course formats, running both modular forms and intensives. Different people like different things and have different values and learning styles. Of course, different people also like similar things and so we look for the patterns and the opportunity to find the common positive intentions in what people want. We believe that this is how we have continued to build a successful business by doing what we do, understanding the need for development and change.

How about the level of capability?

What do you consider to be your skills and strengths?

We both have over fifteen years experience in training, coaching and facilitating and having worked with thousands of people in this context, we have a pretty good sense of where the group is at. One of our practitioners recently said that we have “a great ability to be empathetic with each individual within the group” … which was reassuring to hear!

We love bringing other fields to NLP and NLP to other fields, to map across and draw connections. For us it is about modelling

other fields and disciplines as diverse as management and leadership theory to quantum physics! If it works in one place, let’s see how it works in NLP! As mentioned above, an example of Melody’s strengths is in inspiring personal change and unlocking individual potential.

Joe’s strengths are often in the big picture, perceiving organisational patterns and developing new concepts.

Now behaviour… what do you do?

As a ‘yin-yang’, when we are running the course, we laugh… a lot. We check in with each other and we respect each other’s knowledge and ‘airspace’ (talking time).

As trainers, we encourage and give feedback. We presuppose that everyone is going to pass and do everything we can to make sure that they do. During the input sessions, we encourage true dialogue where we can build and add to knowledge rather than assume we know all the answers! Of course there are times when we need to let people know that “this is the NLP perspective”. We see it as our responsibility to help people think about the ecology of their decisions and actions.

And finally environment… where do you run your courses? What kind of atmosphere do you create?

Currently we run the NLP courses in our home. We have a nice size place and it is easily accessible. Our practitioners have actively discouraged us from running courses elsewhere because they say they like the informal, friendly learning environment.

Everyone can feel comfortable in a relaxed space and in our own home we have maximum flexibility to create that space.

The input and discussions take place round a large table. It’s not quite Arthurian, but the principle is the same. Everyone has a voice

“Learning with Melody and Joe in the atmosphere that they created has made an incalculable difference to me.

I’m already doing things that I’d have felt were out of my reach at the beginning of this year.”

Viv Thackray - a GWiz graduate. and everyone has a contribution. This way, we continue to learn too. We have an open plan house which gives plenty of room for activity.

We also have two library rooms which are firm favourites with some. This may be because whilst on the course, our practitioners have access to our reference library of over five thousand books.

The other benefit of holding the courses in our home is that it helps to keep the costs down which we can then pass on to the delegates. Whilst we are not necessarily the least expensive, we are certainly not the most.

We want NLP to remain a valuable investment and at the same time be accessible to everyone.

If someone wants to develop their capability and make their life extraordinary we want to be there to help them. It is in this spirit that we can go to bed at the end of the day and truly say: “Well-lived life, well lived!”

It seems like we have returned back to the spirit level!

Isn’t life like that…

The GWiz Learning Partnership is based in Bedfordshire. For further information on the partnership and their courses or to access some innovative articles on NLP, visit: www.gwiztraining.com or phone 01767 640956.

rapport - Autumn 2008

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DIARY

Diary of Events for Autumn / Winter 2008 October 08 NLP modular Trainer Training 1 Oct 2008 Henley on Thames UK Sue Knight 01628 604438 support@sueknight.co.uk The Motivator!© 1 Oct 2008 St. Michaels College- Llandaff- Cardiff Andy Garland 0800 612 2878 andy@you.uk.com Essential NLP for Business Success 2 Oct 2008 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 info@thelazarus.com Weight No More© Workshop 3 Oct 2008 St. Michael’s College- Llandaff- Cardiff Andy Garland +44 (0)800 612 2878 andy@you.uk.com NLP & Hypnotherapy Practitioner Certification 3 Oct 2008 Hunton Park- JCT19 M25 Murielle Maupoint 0845 388 1128 murielle@liveit.com Fast-track NLP Practitioner 4 Oct 2008 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 info@thelazarus.com Fast-Track NLP Sports Practitioner 4 Oct 2008 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 info@thelazarus.com Introducing NLP 4 Oct 2008 London John Seymour 0845 658 0654 enquiries@john-seymour-associates. co.uk Hypnosis Trainer’s Training 4 Oct 2008 Chiswick London Dr. David Shephard 0208 992 9523 info@performancepartnership.com Bare Knuckle Negotiating with Simon Hazeldine 4 Oct 2008 Leicestershire Jamie Smart 0845 650 1045 info@saladltd.co.uk FastTrack Sports Practitioner of NLP 4 Oct 2008 Birmingham Matt Caulfield 08453 626277 mail@mattcaulfield.co.uk

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Autumn 2008 - rapport

NLP Practitioner Core Skills 4 Oct 2008 Birmingham/Mids Mark Peters 0121 445 0093 mark.peters@balancedapproach.co.uk Business Communications Part 1 6 Oct 2008 Bristol John Seymour 0845 658 0654 enquiries@john-seymour-associates. co.uk Practice Group - Central London PPD Learning 7 Oct 2008 ULU - Malet Street- WC1 PPD Learning 0870 7744 321 info@ppdlearning.co.uk INLPTA Certified NLP Diploma 7 Oct 2008 North Yorkhsire Mark Wake 01642 714 702 awakenconsulting@aol.com NLP Practitioner Accreditation (Third part of practitioner) 8 Oct 2008 Milton Keynes Michael Beale 01908 506563 michaelbeale@ppimk.com Introduction to NLP 8 Oct 2008 St. Michaels College- Llandaff- Cardiff Andy Garland 0800 612 2878 andy@you.uk.com The Ultimate Master Practitioner with Judith Lowe- Charles Faulkner- Judy DeLozier and special guest Robert Dilts 9 Oct 2008 Covent Garden - Central London PPD Learning 0870 7744 321 info@ppdlearning.co.uk NLP Practitioner Training with Jamie Smart and Peter Freeth 10 Oct 2008 Hinckley Island Hotel- HinckleyLeicestershire Jamie Smart 0845 650 1045 info@saladltd.co.uk NLP Practitioner Training 11 Oct 2008 Bristol John Seymour 0845 658 0654 enquiries@john-seymour-associates. co.uk Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway® Workshop 11 Oct 2008 St. Michaels College- Llandaff- Cardiff Andy Garland 0800 612 2878 andy@you.uk.com

NLP Diploma/Business Diploma/ Practitioner Programme (accredited by ANLP International) 11 Oct 2008 Leeds/Bradford- West Yorkshire Kevin Downsworth 01274 585160 kdownsworth.firstposition@blueyonder. co.uk NLP Master Practitioner (Part 2 of 5) 11 Oct 2008 Bedfordshire Melody Cheal 01767 640956 melody@gwiztraining.com NLP Master Practitioner Training 13 Oct 2008 Glasgow Kirsty McKinnon 0141 248 3913 kirsty@excelr8.co.uk SNLP Accredited Practitioner Course 13 Oct 2008 Express Holiday Inn- Southampton Christina Mills 01273 626644 christinamills@isiscentre.co.uk For Women’s Eyes Only 7 Day Practitioner Programme 13 Oct 2008 Leamington Spa Karen Footman 01926 313597 (or mobile) karen@changeintelligence.com Accredited SNLP Practitioner Course 13 Oct 2008 Express Holiday Inn- Southampton Christina Mills 01273 626644 info@isiscentre.co.uk Powerful Presentations 13 Oct 2008 Bell Hotel - Sandwich Lindsey Agness 01304 621735 info@thechangecorporation.com NLP Practitioner Programme 14 Oct 2008 North East Susi Strang Wood MRCGP 01287 654175 drsusistrang@aol.com Interview Skills For Success 15 Oct 2008 St. Michaels College- Llandaff- Cardiff Andy Garland 0800 612 2878 andy@you.uk.com 4 Day NLP Diploma 16 Oct 2008 West Midlands Daksha Malik 0121 711 7030 contact@uniqueminds.co.uk INLPTA Practitioner 16 Oct 2008 Alvechurch- West Midlands Ellen Gifford 01527 585310 ellen@thelearningpath.co.uk

NLP Diploma (INLPTA certified) 17 Oct 2008 New Forest Greg Laws 0845 050 8448 info@openmindtraining.co.uk Re-Vitalize Your Life 18 Oct 2008 Iffin Farmhouse - Canterbury Lindsey Agness 01304 621735 info@thechangecorporation.com NLP Practitioner course 18 Oct 2008 Brighton Terry Elston 0800 074 6425 INT: 0044 (0) 1273 220 897 terryelston@nlpworld.co.uk NLP Diploma Course (INLPTA) With WomanWisdom(TM) 18 Oct 2008 Ilford - Essex (North East London) Sharon Eden MA (Psych) UK 020 8597 9200 sharon.eden@womenofcourage.co.uk NLP Master Practitioner Certification 18 Oct 2008 Hunton Park - JCT19 M25 Murielle Maupoint 0845 388 1128 murielle@liveit.com NLP Practice Group For Practitioners and above 18 Oct 2008 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com Master Business Practitioner 20 Oct 2008 Alvechurch- West Midlands Ellen Gifford 01527 585310 ellen@thelearningpath.co.uk NLP Diploma 23 Oct 2008 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com NLP Sports Diploma 23 Oct 2008 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com NLP Business Diploma 23 Oct 2008 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com FREE Introduction to NLP 23 Oct 2008 lvechurch- West midlands Ellen Gifford 01527 585310 ellen@thelearningpath.co.uk

NLP Master Practitioner Training 25 Oct 2008 Bristol John Seymour 0845 658 0654 enquiries@john-seymour-associates. co.uk ACCELERATED NLP Practitioner Certification (LONDON) 26 Oct 2008 LONDON Colette White 0207 249 5051 colette@infiniteexcellence.com Advanced Master Practitioner 27 Oct 2008 North Yorkshire Susi Strang Wood MRCGP 01287 654175 drsusistrang@aol.com NLP Practice Group 27 Oct 2008 Sandwich - Kent Lindsey Agness 01304 621735 info@thechangecorporation.com Advanced Master Practitioner 27 Oct 2008 North Yorkshire Susi Strang Wood MRCGP 01287 654175 drsusistrang@aol.com Provocative Coaching with Frank Farrelly 28 Oct 2008 Marlow Bucks Sue Knight 01628 604438 support@sueknight.co.uk Introducing NLP 30 Oct 2008 Henley on Thames Sue Knight 01628 604438 support@sueknight.co.uk

November 08 Time Line Therapy® Practitioner 1 Nov 2008 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 info@thelazarus.com NLP Diploma Course (INLPTA) With WomanWisdom(TM) 1 Nov 2008 Ilford- Essex (North East London) Sharon Eden MA (Psych) UK 020 8597 9200 sharon.eden@womenofcourage.co.uk ‘The Art of Being’ with Jamie Smart 1 Nov 2008 Hinckley Island Hotel - Hinckley Leicestershire Jamie Smart 0845 650 1045 info@saladltd.co.uk

DIARY

Change Your Life with NLP 3 Hour Workshop 1 Nov 2008 Kings Arms Hotel Sandwich Lindsey Agness 01304 621735 info@thechangecorporation.com Introducing NLP 1 Nov 2008 Bristol John Seymour 0845 658 0654 enquiries@john-seymour-associates. co.uk Provocative Therapy 1 Nov 2008 Leeds Nick Kemp 01274 622994 info@nickkemp.com NLP Business Practitioner intensive Denmark 3 Nov 2008 Denmark Sue Knight +441628 604438 sue@sueknight.co.uk Certified Master Practitioner of NLP 3 Nov 2008 Reading Daryll Scott 0118 900 1527 swen@mynoggin.co.uk INLPTA Diploma in NLP 3 Nov 2008 The English Lake District Paul McGowran 1539488819 paul@lakelandpeopledevelopment.co.uk Practice Group - Central LondonPPD Learning 4 Nov 2008 ULU - Malet Street- WC1 PPD Learning 0870 7744 321 info@ppdlearning.co.uk

NLP Practitioner Training 9 Nov 2008 Glasgow Kirsty McKinnon 0141 248 3913 kirsty@excelr8.co.uk NLP Diploma/Business Diploma/ Practitioner Programme (accredited by ANLP International) 10 Nov 2008 Leeds/Bradford - West Yorkshire Kevin Downsworth 01274 585160 kdownsworth.firstposition@ blueyonder.co.uk NLP Practitioner 10 Nov 2008 The English Lake District Paul McGowran 1539488819 paul@lakelandpeopledevelopment.co.uk Business Practitioner Part 2 10 Nov 2008 Bristol John Seymour 0845 658 0654 enquiries@john-seymour-associates. co.uk The Motivator!© 12 Nov 2008 St. Michaels College - Llandaff- Cardiff Andy Garland 0800 612 2878 andy@you.uk.com Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway® Workshop 14 Nov 2008 Alvechurch- West Midlands Ellen Gifford 01527 585310 ellen@thelearningpath.co.uk Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway® 14 Nov 2008 Bordesley Hall- Alvechurch Andy Garland +44 (0)800 612 2878 andy@you.uk.com

GWiz NLP: Exploring Relationships with Time(lining) 5 Nov 2008 Bedfordshire Melody Cheal 01767 640956 melody@gwiztraining.com

NLP Master Practitioner (Part 3 of 5) 15 Nov 2008 Bedfordshire Melody Cheal 01767 640956 melody@gwiztraining.com

NLP Master Practitioner - Change Management 5 Nov 2008 Milton Keynes Michael Beale 01908 506563 michaelbeale@ppimk.com

Weight No More 17 Nov 2008 Alvechurch- West Midlands Ellen Gifford 01527 585310 ellen@thelearningpath.co.uk

Presenting With Power© 5 Nov 2008 St. Michaels College- Llandaff- Cardiff Andy Garland 0800 612 2878 andy@you.uk.com

NLP Practitioner Module One (INLPTA certified) 17 Nov 2008 New Forest Greg Laws 0845 050 8448 info@openmindtraining.co.uk

Licensed NLP Practitioner™ training 8 Nov 2008 York - UK Philip Callaghan 01904 636216 info@bronze-dragon.com

Accelerated NLP Influence 18 Nov 2008 York- UK Philip Callaghan 07968 223 947 info@resourcefulchange.co.uk

NLP Master Practitioner Hypnotic Influence 19 Nov 2008 Milton Keynes Michael Beale 01908 506563 michaelbeale@ppimk.com

Provocative Coaching - Hold on to Your Hats 27 Nov 2008 Wiltshire Paul King 01380 859106 paul@thebeyondpartnership.co.uk

NLP Master Practitioner (Part 4 of 5) 6 Dec 2008 Bedfordshire Melody Cheal 01767 640956 melody@gwiztraining.com

Business Practitioner 19 Nov 2008 Alvechurch - West Midlands Ellen Gifford 01527 585310 ellen@thelearningpath.co.uk

ROAST YOUR INNER PIG! for Advanced Presenters 27 Nov 2008 52 Porchester Road - Bayswater London W2 Toy Odiakosa 020 7348 8972 toy@ela-consulting.com

Change Your Life with NLP 3 Hour Workshop 6 Dec 2008 Ashford International Hotel Lindsey Agness 01304 621735 info@thechangecorporation.com

Advanced NLP Skills 21 Nov 2008 York - UK Philip Callaghan 07968 223 947 info@resourcefulchange.co.uk NLP Practitioner Module Two (INLPTA certified) 21 Nov 2008 New Forest Greg Laws 0845 050 8448 info@openmindtraining.co.uk Ancient Hawaiian Huna Elements 21 Nov 2008 North Yorkshire Susi Strang Wood MRCGP 01287 654175 drsusistrang@aol.com ACCELERATED NLP Practitioner Certification (LONDON) 22 Nov 2008 LONDON Colette White 0207 249 5051 colette@infiniteexcellence.com NLP Business Practitioner 22 Nov 2008 Wiltshire Sally Vanson 01225 867 285 ceri@theperformancesolution.com Advanced Therapeutic Specialist program with Gabe Guerrero (London) 22 Nov 2008 London Chris Morris 020 7107 9790 hello@chrismorris.com NLP Practice Group 24 Nov 2008 Sandwich - Kent Lindsey Agness 01304 621735 info@thechangecorporation.com

FREE Introduction to NLP 28 Nov 2008 Alvechurch - West midlands Ellen Gifford 01527 585310 ellen@thelearningpath.co.uk Licensed NLP Master Practitioner™ training 29 Nov 2008 York - UK Philip Callaghan 01904 636216 info@bronze-dragon.com Introducing NLP 29 Nov 2008 London John Seymour 0845 658 0654 enquiries@john-seymour-associates. co.uk

December 08 Presenting With Power© 1 Dec 2008 St. Michael’s College - Llandaff- Cardiff Andy Garland +44 (0)800 612 2878 andy@you.uk.com NLP Master Trainer Training with Dr Christina Hall 2 Dec 2008 Hinckley Island Hotel - Hinckley Leicestershire Jamie Smart 0845 650 1045 info@saladltd.co.uk NLP & Hypnotherapy Practitioner Certification 5 Dec 2008 Hunton Park - JCT19- M25 Murielle Maupoint 0845 388 1128 murielle@liveit.com

Discover NLP 25 Nov 2008 Covent Garden - Central London PPD Learning 0870 7744 321 info@ppdlearning.co.uk

NLP Practitioner Module Three (INLPTA certified) 5 Dec 2008 New Forest Greg Laws 0845 050 8448 info@openmindtraining.co.uk

Fast-Track NLP Sports Practitioner (for existing NLP Practitioners) 27 Nov 2008 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 info@thelazarus.com

Accelerated Coaching Skills for NLP’ers 6 Dec 2008 Chiswick- London Dr. David Shephard 0208 992 9523 info@performancepartnership.com

ACCELERATED NLP Practitioner Certification (NOTTINGHAM) 7 Dec 2008 NOTTINGHAM Colette White 0207 249 5051 colette@infiniteexcellence.com NLP Business Practitioner 9 Dec 2008 Kerala India Sue Knight 01628 604438 support@sueknight.co.uk INLPTA Diploma 10 Dec 2008 Alvechurch. West Midlands Ellen Gifford 01527 585310 ellen@thelearningpath.co.uk ‘Walking in Your Shoes NLP for Mental Well Being’ 14 Dec 2008 Exeter Court Hotel Sue Sterling 1626879853 peaceplease@btinternet.com NLP Practice Group 29 Dec 2008 Sandwich - Kent Lindsey Agness 01304 621735 info@thechangecorporation.com NLP Trainer Training 31 Dec 2008 Kerala India Sue Knight 01628 604438 support@sueknight.co.uk NLP Master Practitioner 31 Dec 2008 Kerala India Sue Knight 01628 604438 support@sueknight.co.uk

To get your workshops and events listed in Rapport, log in as a member to www.anlp.org and enter your events into the online diary.

Every issue, online events listed for the next 3 months will be included in Rapport. rapport - Autumn 2008

| 41

Two Great New Titles from Anné Linden Boundaries in Human Relationships

“Finally,�There's A Roadmap for Your�Journey�to NLP Mastery�at�the�Highest�Level”

How to be Separate and Connected The most important distinction anyone can ever make in their life is between who they are as an individual and their connection with others. Can you truly love another and be the whole, complete and unique person you are? How do you know the difference between your fear and your partner’s‚ or between your past anger and your here-and-now anger? The answer lies with boundaries – and this is a practical guide to unlocking these mysteries.

The book teaches you exactly what boundaries are, how to recognise when you need them and how to create and maintain them.

ISBN 978-184590076-2 £18.99

“This wonderful book by Anné Linden addresses a crucial aspect of human relationships.”

Stephen Gilligan, PhD, author of The Courage to Love

“A book for anyone who wants a better understanding about this often-ignored aspect of human relationships and provides valuable information for therapists and coaches who work with clients having boundary issues.”

Judith E. Pearson, PhD, Licensed Professional Counsellor, Certified Hypnotherapist, and Certified NLP Trainer

NLP Master�Trainer�Training* With�Dr.�Chris�Hall�NLP Meta-Master�Trainer

Dec�2-7 2008 &�Feb�14-19 2009

12�days Investment £5997�+�VAT

NLP Trainer�Training With�Dr.�Chris�Hall�NLP Meta-Master�Trainer

Feb�2-8 &�Jul�6-12 2009

14�days Investment £3997�+�VAT

NLP Master�Practitioner�Training

Mindworks

With�Jamie�Smart,�Dr.�Chris�Hall, Peter�Freeth,�Michael�Watson

An Introduction to NLP Using the amazingly effective tools of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Mindworks shows you how to unlock the resources, abilities and creativity that you already have in order to take control of your life and accomplish whatever you want.

NLP is a series of psychological change techniques developed in the early 1970s.

It has been a huge influence on today’s motivational writers. As its name suggests, NLP is based on the idea that the human mind is a sort of computer; our verbal and body languages are the programming that allows us to change our thoughts and to influence other people.

ISBN 978-184590086-1 £12.99

Mindworks shows you how to change your mind, reprogram your thoughts, gain control of your fears and fulfil your desires and potential.

“Mindworks is a delight to read if only for the absorbing style with which it is written. For me this is what NLP Is all about… being an example of excellence and this book is most certainly that.”

Sue Knight, author of NLP at Work, International Consultant, Trainer and Coach “A great book for people, new to NLP, who are curious about NLP as a pathway to self-development and who enjoy colourful and lively real-life examples of how it works - and who also like to be warmly encouraged to try it out for themselves!””

Judith Lowe, PPD Learning After 18 years as a professional actor Anné Linden went back to college and trained to be a psychotherapist. Anné founded the New York Training Institute for NLP and the NLP Center for Psychotherapy – the first of their kind in the world. Anné was one of the first practitioners to introduce NLP to Europe, undertaking NLP Practitioner Training in the Netherlands in 1982. She continues to train and teach in France, Belgium and the Netherlands.

For more information visit www.nlpcenter.com

visit www.anglo-american.co.uk or contact us on 01267 211880

Apr�2009�to Aug�2009 3�days per�month

15�days Investment £2997�+�VAT

NLP Practitioner�Training With�Jamie�Smart�&�Peter�Freeth Oct�2008�to Feb�2009 3�days per�month

15�days Investment £2997�+�VAT

Ericksonian�Hypnosis�Training With�Michael�Watson April 2009

8�days Investment £1997�+�VAT

There�are�only�24�places�on�each�course,�&�significant "early-bird"�discounts�are�available,�so TAKE ACTION NOW�to�secure�your�place�&�avoid�missing�out.

Ring�the�booking�hotline�on�0845�650�1045,�email nikki.owen@saladltd.co.uk�or�book�online�at www.saladltd.co.uk

salad

do�what�you�love…

*�NLP Trainer�Training�with�Chris�Hall�is�a�prerequisite�for�Master�Trainer�Training.

BOOK REVIEWS

rapport book review The Really Good Fun Cartoon Book of NLP Philip Miller £9.99, Crown House Publishing I really liked this book. It’s simple, very accessible for people new to NLP and good for someone like me who is very visual. It’s also an easy one to pick up, dive into a chapter, have a quick browse and then put it down again and absorb. I know a lot of people think a really good book should be one that you can’t put down, however I like this about the book because it means that I would probably revisit it more than I would do another book, as I am not given an information overload each time I look at it, and therefore reinforce the learning’s each

time I go and have a quick fix look! Basically it’s set out in very easy to swallow chunks. It of course gives a very surface level of NLP but doesn’t promise to do anything else and I found it to be a handy refresher book on basic NLP ideas. The drawings are fun and there are little tasks at the end of each chapter to review what you have learnt and have a good old think about things. All in all a good basic NLP book which is nicely set out with fun pictures, relatable examples and good information.

Lala Ali Khan, Book Review Panel

Stress Free Surgery CDs Linda Thomson £17.01, Crown House Publishing I’m a firm believer in synchronicity, so when the Stress Free Surgery Hypnosis CDs arrived on my desk for review, it seemed to be too good an opportunity to miss, seeing as I was scheduled for some routine surgery a few weeks later! I did manage to listen to them from a review point of view, before I succumbed to the hypnotic voice of Linda Thomson. She is American, and yet has one of the most calming and reassuring voices I have ever heard…and she is an experienced health care professional. Over 2 CDs every aspect of your impending ‘procedure’ is covered, the first one being ‘pre-surgery’ and the second being ‘post surgery’. Pre Surgery focuses on both calming any nerves

and encouraging the mind to put the body into the best possible state for surgery. Linda does literally ‘walk you through’ the process from arriving at the hospital to waking up after surgery. I saved the Post Surgery until after my operation – in fact, I could have listened to it beforehand, but I didn’t realise that! The second CD focuses on recovery and pain relief, and in the first week after my surgery, Linda became my best friend. I found the CDs extremely relaxing, reassuring and they had a hugely calming effect on me.

I recommended them to everyone else on my ward, and can safely say that this was the most positive surgical experience I have ever had!!

Karen Moxom, Book Review Panel

The Sunday Times Creating Success, How to Deal with Stress Stephen Palmer & Cary Cooper £8.99, Kogan Page This is a very easy to understand and idea first book on how to deal with stress, change the way you work and restore balance in your life. There are plenty of easy to do activities, which are clearly laid out and well explained. For the more experienced reader it will take you right back to the basics of being stressed, the symptoms and simple ways to make changes in your life. I like the way Stephen Palmer and Cary Cooper get you to question the events or incidents that have caused an emotional reaction and show you

how to turn your thoughts around. They also get you to question your life style, again using activities which help to show the reader exactly how stress if affecting them throughout their life and how simple changes can be very affective. I think this is an excellent book for anyone who wants to deal and reduce stress in their lives, but as with all other forms of help the reader has to put the work in and work honestly through the exercises.

Julie Pearce, Book Review Panel

rapport - Autumn 2008

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AUTHOR INTERVIEW

Change Your Life with NLP Lindsey Agness is keen to promote NLP as a way out of the grey zone Interview by Caitlin Collins

S

itting curled up on the sofa in my office on a grey day, the heavy clouds narrowing the usual spacious view of the moor from my window, I’m reading Lindsey Agness’s book, Change Your Life with NLP, in preparation for our interview.

In sync with the gloom outside, I’m struck by Lindsey’s metaphor of the ‘grey zone,’ the zone of mediocrity familiar to most of us, at least in some areas of our lives; I’m reminded of Thoreau’s observation, ‘The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.’

Helping people move out of the grey zone and make the most of their lives is Lindsey Agness’s greatest passion. Naturally falling into four sections, our conversation spanned the why, what, how and what else of writing an NLP book that aims to do just that.

Why? ‘I want to increase public interest in NLP,’ says Lindsey; ‘and to build the image of NLP. I want to take the awareness of its potential out to a wider audience; training courses are great – and the numbers are relatively limited.

I want to help people create what they want, whether it’s losing weight, changing jobs, or whatever – I want them to find more choices in their lives. I planned this as an entry-level book to give people in what I call the grey zone, unsure how to take that first step to doing something different, some momentum to start their journey.’

Lindsey is a fan of books by the big boys, such as Tony Robbins and Paul McKenna, though she wanted to take a different approach.

‘Many of the best-known authors in the field of coaching and personal development use NLP extensively but hardly mention it by name; I wanted to be more explicit about it. Of course there are some very good NLP textbooks; but I wanted to offer a less formal approach, a more practical journey for change. Also, it’s time there were more English female writers in the marketplace alongside all the men!’

Well, I’d certainly concur with that!

What?

Lindsey writes in an engaging, chatty style,

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Autumn 2008 - rapport

with lots of personal anecdotes, and you feel as though she’s right there alongside you as you read, and think about your life, and practise the exercises. ‘Yes, I wanted to create a personal conversation with the reader,’ she agrees.

‘And I’m delighted that people have told me they’ve experienced the book like that, and felt supported in their journey. I’ve suffered some knocks and have really appreciated the help of NLP in my own life, and I’ve shared that with readers. I’ve brought in lots of case studies as well as my own personal experience to show that it’s truly possible to find the opportunities and turn things around: you have to keep your determination and focus, and just keep moving.’

How? It’s not enough to have something to say in writing a book; how you get your message across is also important. Intrigued to see that Lindsey credits the help of a writing coach and regular Rapport column writer, Mindy Gibbins-Klein, I remark on how well-written her book is: it has a polish that many books lack. ‘Working with a coach was so helpful,’ she acknowledges. ‘Mindy got me to think about why I was doing it, and who for, and what was the message I wanted to

get across. She coached me to make a monster mind map for it, so the structure was in place before I began. And Mindy gave me feedback on how I was doing. At first I just wasn’t writing enough – I was too used to a consultancy bullet point style! It took a while to get used to writing in book style.’

It’s a tremendous achievement to find a mainstream publisher willing to take a chance on a new author, especially in these times of economic belt-tightening.

‘Yes, people were advising me to go straight for self-publishing, but I wanted to find out whether I could get it accepted by a mainstream publisher – partly for personal satisfaction. It took longer to do it this way, and it’s been worth it to me.’

I’m sure many of us in the coaching/ consulting field have books up our sleeves.

What advice would Lindsey offer would-be writers who are perhaps procrastinating?

‘It’s worth doing it! I was curious to see how it might help my business. Well, it’s been great for marketing. It’s proving to be a great conversation-starter and I’ve had lots of enquiries through it.’

What else?

In my reading of the book I was pleased to discover there’s a depth to it; it’s not just aimed at boosting material success – how to sell / acquire / do more, faster, harder, bigger, better. ‘NLP is criticised as being manipulative,’ Lindsey explains. ‘Or dismissed as psychobabble. I really value authenticity and integrity; I’m not about pushing things onto people. I think we have an opportunity to offer constructive messages in the business world, such as the importance of listening to what the customer says and not just flogging them something whether or not they need it!’

Lindsey raises some interesting ideas in her writing, especially about the potential of energy-work; I found her discussion of kundalini with reference to mid-life changes especially fascinating. ‘I’m doing a Master

AUTHOR INTERVIEW

For a week, keep a daily diary of your proud moments 1) Set out two columns, one for your achievements, one for things that you could do better next time.

2) The only rule is that the list of things you’re proud of must be longer.

3) As you record the things you’re proud of, notice how you begin to build new references for your personal beliefs. Perhaps you’ll spot how much more successful you are than you thought, or how good you are at so many things. You’ll definitely notice things for the first time that previously you were closed to!

New goal generator

Lindsey Agness is a highly qualified and experienced NLP trainer, business consultant and owne r of The Change Corporation. Linds ey uses her skills to train and coach both individuals and companies to transf orm themselves. She uses the techniques in this book on a daily basis, not only with her clients, but also on herself, to ensure that she is living the life she wants to live.

She works with some of the biggest names in business as well as running many popul ar training seminars and motivational speak ing assignments.

It doesn’t matter how your life has been so far. It doesn’t matte happened in the past r what’s – all that matters is now. Change can an instant. Making happe changes, even really big ones, can be much n in less scary than you might imagine. All you need is to chang thinking – and this e your book explains how.

Change Your Life with NLP uses powe rful tools and techn the tried and teste iques from d field of neuro lingui stic programming how you’ve got to to reveal where you are and what might be holdin g you back.

You can use NLP to:

body

1) Stop for a moment, close your eyes, and imagine that in front of you is ‘another you’ – the you that has achieved your goal.

Imagine what you’d look like, sound like and feel like, having achieved your goal.

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4) Think of a situation you’d like to view from your new perspective of having achieved your goal.

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5) For the next few weeks act as if the other you is really you – and notice the difference!

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3) When you’re satisfied with your other you, step into him or her, so you’re looking out through your own eyes. Notice how it feels to have achieved your goal. Notice your new perspec tive, behaviour and beliefs about yourself.

2) Make whatever adjustments you need to ensure that it’s absolutely fantastic. Connect the picture to the feelings and make sure you feel it in the now and are not just imagining it for the future.

h NLP

○ determine what you want in life ○ find the perfect partner or career ○ boost your confid ence ○ increase your happi ness ○ banish anxiety ○ drop bad habits ○ lose weight (and keep it off) ○ get out of debt ○ improve your relati onships with every

Visualising your goal helps you to believe it’s achievable. It will even help to establish new neural pathways in the brain: if you repeatedly carry out a new behaviour for 30 days, a new pathway is established. Do this exercise once a day for a month and you’ll notice the difference!

CHANGE YOUR LIF E wit

Trainer programme with David Shephard and Robert Smith, studying where some of NLP concepts may have come from,’ she explains. ‘NLP tends to be rather selfreferenced and gets criticised for that too! So I think it’s important to do some research, and I mentioned some possible sources in the book. I’m becoming increasingly interested in the area of energy. I think it’s under-explored. There’s huge potential there! For example, my own experiences with board-breaking and fire-walking have made me think about how we can do so much more than we think we can if we’re open to the possibility of working with energy. I’d like to inspire people to look into this. I’m also developing a programme for mid-life women, exploring the goddess within; it’s combining NLP with spiritual understanding and practice. A lot of women think they’re over the hill at midlife; I want to motivate them to think instead, hurray, now I have the freedom and opportunity to do what I really want to do!’

I’ve saved a couple of questions for last – Abolittle ut the auth just throwaway scraps, like how does or There’s a brighte r future Lindsey view her contribution the world, ahead ofto you – and it starts rigto ht say, hereif, rig and what would she like shehtcould now. have just one line to say it in? She rises to the challenge... ‘Because I’ve been through a lot myself, and taken risks in my life, I feel I have something to share with people, especially women. I don’t think there are enough female role models out there yet in the business field. I use NLP in business every day, getting people interested in NLP because they see it works for performance improvement, and then it can help them in their personal development too. It’s about inspiring people to move beyond the grey zone and take risks: to do something different and see what happens.’

She pauses for a moment, smiling.

‘You know, I’m a marathon runner, and in this year’s London marathon there was a runner over 80 years old. That’s an inspiration to us all! It’s never too late to do something different!’

For a one-liner that’s pretty unbeatable!

CHANGE YOUR LIFE with

NLP

‘This book will chang e your life. I was completely engro ssed. I cannot recommend it highly enough to anyone who wants the most out of their future .

The vast majority of us have dreams we are not pursuing or areas of our lives that we want to change.

We are all finding life ever more stressful.

If you’re not happy in some area of your perso yourself a favour and nal or work life do read this inspiring and passionate book.

I was amazed by the effect it had on me. Enjoy it!’

Colin Price, McKin sey London

‘This is a great book for anyone who wants some practical applic ations and inspiration for changing their lives for the bette r.’

Peter Cohen, TV life coach

THE POWERFUL WAY YOUR WHOLE LIFE TO MAKE BETTER

LINDSEY AGNESS

Lindsey Agness, Change Your Life with NLP, 2008, Pearson Prentice Hall Life Lindsey Agness can be reached on: info@thechangecorporation.com www.thechangecorporation.com

rapport - Autumn 2008

| 45

PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT

Be Bold and Opinionated or Don’t Bother

by Mindy Gibbins-Klein

I

n this day and age of political correctness, you would be forgiven for thinking that the most important objective of communication is to tell people what they want to hear in the way they want to hear it without offending anyone. The issue I have with the growing trend of careful communication is that it is stifling the passion and the essence right out of the message.

Too many people are now worried about the reaction of others to their ideas, or worse offending others by saying the wrong thing in the wrong way. This puts the brakes on exciting, lively debate and kills the spirit of the message.

A shining light in the darkness is the blog. This is a place where someone can write their true thoughts and feelings without too much filtering. It is heartwarming to see business people showing their human side in their blogs and letting people know what they think about key issues, and it goes a long way toward building rapport with the readers. The fact that readers can comment and turn the post into a discussion brings the topic to life and allows the creator of the blog to accelerate the relationship building.

Just don’t go too far the other way. If you

are blogging already or keen to start sharing your wisdom in a blog, I just have a few words of caution for you. Check for accuracy, consistency, spelling and grammar before publishing. Then, most importantly, check the emotion in your blog. It is a great thing to be able to write freely, almost as you speak, but your blog will live online far longer than the mood currently taking over your body.

Make sure that you do not insult, antagonise or defame others. There is usually a way to say even the strongest things politely and with respect. I find that the best way to do this is to give your article or blog a ‘cooling off ’ period.

It doesn’t have to be a long time, especially if you are commenting on a current issue.

But if you wait even an hour, you may find that you can spot and fix extreme or inflammatory language that otherwise would get you in trouble.

With full length books, you have many more pages to get your message across and ensure that it is clear. If you have bold statements to make, they become part of a thorough exploration of your subject, instead of just a one-liner that can be misinterpreted or cause a reaction. You can present more evidence for your opinions and more detail to help readers get it in context. One of the best examples

A shining light in the darkness is the blog.

This is a place where someone can write their true thoughts and feelings without too much filtering

46 |

Autumn 2008 - rapport

of this I have ever seen is golf coach Mark Guadagnoli in his excellent book Practice to Learn, Play to Win. Mark puts across quite a radical new approach to improving one’s game, and he takes the reader through the reasons why it works. Being a scientist, he gives plenty of proof and lots of stories so that no one could ever accuse him of just getting on a soapbox. I imagine there are people who would still disagree but no one should feel offended.

Yet we still see books that err on the side of blandness (they don’t say anything or they don’t say anything new) and we see books that are 150-page ‘rants’, arguing and carrying on without any regard for the reader. I think what we are looking for is a balance between being opinionated and being respectful of our readers. Exciting, lively discussion of ideas whilst building rapport with the reader.

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rapport - Autumn 2008

| 47

REGIONAL GROUPS

rapport networking contact Practice Group of the month

Kim Phillips of the Worcestershire Practice Group

England - North Harrogate Achievers Club Sonia Marie Saxton Tel: 0845 257 0036 Email: smesaxton@saxtonpartners.co.uk Harrogate Practice Group Elizabeth Pritchard Tel: 01326 212 959 Email: elizabeth@zeteticmind.com www.zeteticmind.com Lancaster Practice Group Dave Allaway Tel: 01524 847 070 Email: dave@depthfour.com www.depthfour.com Lancs - Nr Clitheroe Dawn Haworth Tel: 01254 824 504 Email: admin@nlpand.co.uk www.nlpand.co.uk Leeds - West Yorkshire Liz Tolchard Tel: 01943 873 895 Mob: 07909 911 769 Email: liztolchard@hotmail.com Manchester Business NLP and Emotional Intelligence Group Andy Smith Tel: 0845 83 855 83 Email: andy@practicaleq.com www.manchesternlp.co.uk

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Autumn 2008 - rapport

The Worcestershire Practice Group

I

f you aren’t already in a Practice Group then why not come along to one? There are so many benefits. You get the opportunity to develop and perfect your skills and you can use this growth towards your Continuing Professional Development with ANLP. Plus your confidence increases as you practise and receive feedback from your colleagues particularly useful if you’ve recently qualified. Also you meet and make new friends and acquaintances, catch-up with old friends, exchange ideas, network, clarify queries and keep up-to-date with NLP. You can find someone to buddy up with and arrange to meet outside the group for further practise. And of course you resolve your real life issues and work on your dreams whilst in the role of client - for free!

The Worcestershire Practice Group often has guest speakers and we’ve learnt about complementary initiatives to NLP. For example, we’ve covered topics such as energy medicine, Emotional Freedom Technique, Psych-K, the Enneagram, the MyersBriggs Typology, Robert Holden’s Happiness Project, the Law of Attraction, Ken Wilber’s Integral Psychology and Bruce Lipton’s pioneering work

on the ‘Biology of Belief’. We usually start the meeting with a talk and finish with practise.

You’re very welcome to come along and join us. We’re a relaxed friendly group and we meet in the beautiful yet informal environment of Holland House retreat in Cropthorne on the River Avon. This is within easy reach of Birmingham, Cheltenham, Gloucester, Worcester, Warwick and Stratford-upon-Avon.

There’s often access to Kim, a professionally trained and qualified NLP Trainer, who’s happy to give feedback and answer questions.

So if you’re interested, we meet on the first Tuesday of every month between 7 and 9:00 p.m. There’s a £5 contribution towards the refreshments and meeting room costs and all we ask for is that you have a minimum of 30-hours NLP training plus a commitment to practise.

So come along and see for yourself how a well-structured NLP Practice Group can help you.

For further information email: kimmphillips@hotmail.com

Manchester NLP Group Gary Plunkett Tel: 08707 570292 Email: enrol@high-achievers.co.uk nwnlpgroups@aol.com

Chiswick Jonathan Bowder Tel: 0208 992 9523 Email: Jonathan@performancepartnership.com www.performancepartnership.com

London - Central Adrian Hope-Lewis Tel: 07970 639552 Mob: 07970 639552 www.nlpgroup.freeserve.co.uk

Newcastle Upon Tyne Philip Brown Tel: 0191 456 3930 Mob: 0777 228 1035

Croydon Michael Carroll Tel: 020 8686 9952 Email: info@realnlp.co.uk www.nlpacademy.co.uk

London - Central (Business) Mark Underwood Tel: 020 7249 7472

North Yorkshire Lisa & Mark Wake Tel: 01642 714702 Email: Awakenconsulting@aol.com www.awakenconsulting.co.uk North West & North Wales (Chester) Gary Plunkett Tel: 08707 570 292 Email: enrol@high-achievers.co.uk nlp4fun@aol.com York Susanna Bellini & Philip Callaghan Tel: 01904 636 216 Email: info@bronze-dragon.com www.bronze-dragon.com/nlp_group.shtml

England - South Bedfordshire Melody and Joe Cheal Tel: 01767 640956 Email: info@gwiztrainig.com www.gwiztraining.com

Hants - NLP South Nigel Heath Tel: 01794 390 651 Email: heatherapy@aol.com www.nlp-south.org.uk Hertfordshire - Letchwoth James Rolph Tel: 01462 674411 Email: james@resource-ecologies.co.uk Kent & East Sussex NLP Group Beverley Hamilton Tel: 01892 511231 Email: beverley.hamilton@uwclub.net London - Hampstead Najma Zaman Tel: 020 8926 1297 mob: 07950477318 Email: firstpath@btinternet.com London - Central Judy Delaforce Tel: 0870 7744 321 Email: info@ppdlearning.co.uk www.ppdlearning.co.uk/community/ our-practice-group

London (Central) Robert Ford Telephone: 08453 962842 Mobile: 07976 715234 Email: livinglifenlp@orange.net London - Central/North Practitioners and above only Jeremy Lazarus Tel: 020 8349 2929 Email: Jeremy@thelazarus.com www.thelazarus.com London East - Stratford, E15 Sharon Eden Tel: 020 8597 9200 Email: sharon.eden@womenofcourage.co.uk London NLP & Hypnosis Practice Group Phillip Holt Tel: 08451 306213 Mob: 07061 003 003 Email: enquiries@nlp-london.com www.nlp-london.com

REGIONAL GROUPS

London NW - SeeHearFeel NLP Rob Tel: 020 8958 5345 http://www.SeeHearFeelNLP.co.uk/ London West - Richmond NLP Group Henrietta Laitt Tel: 0208 874 8203 Mob: 07880 614 040 Email: henrietta@richmondnlpgroup.org.uk www.richmondnlpgroup.org.uk North London NLP Tom MacKay Tel: 07815 879 055 Email: tom@mackaysolutions.co.uk www.northlondonnlp.co.uk Oxford Jan Freeston Tel: 01865 516 136 Email: Janinefreeston@aol.com Sandwich, Kent.

Lindsey Agness or Zoe Young Tel: Lindsey 01304 621735 or 07711 036 192 Zoe 07932 371 164 Email: zoej66@btinternet.com South East London & City Simon Hedley Tel: 07930 275 223 Email: londonpractice@psithinking. co.uk www.psithinking.co.uk/londonnlp practicegroup.htm www.nlpswap.com/

England - East Cambridgeshire Phil Jones Tel: 07711 711 123 Email: phil@excitant.co.uk www.cambsnlp.co.uk Colchester NLP Group Julian Campbell Tel: 01473 326980 Mob: 07710 781782 / 07710 781782 Email: nlp@lifechangingtherapies.co.uk www.lifechangingtherapies.co.uk/ colnlp.html Essex - Southend Pauline Oliver Tel: 01702 203465 Norfolk NLP Practice Group Stephen Ferrey Tel: 01603 211 961 Email: info@motivational-coaching.co.uk www.motivational-coaching.co.uk Ipswich Steve Marsden Tel: 07889 751578 Email: steve_marsden@btopenworld.com Redbridge - Ilford Sharon Ellis Tel: 020 8098 0820 Email: glenda.yearwood@redbridge.gov.uk www.redbridge.gov.uk

Sussex - Brighton Association of NLP Practitioners Terry Elston Tel: 0800 074 6425 Email: enquiries@nlpworld.co.uk www.nlpworld.co.uk www.nlp-brighton-assoc.org

England - West

Sussex - Brighton Katie Bickerdike Tel:01903 821 172 Mob: 07903 564 760 Email: katie@sussex.co.uk www.sussex.co.uk/nlp

Bath NLP Skills Builder Ben Reeve Tel: 01823 334 080 Email: benjamino_32@hotmail.com www.idevelop.co.uk

Sussex - Chichester Roger and Emily Terry Tel: 01243 792 122 Mob: 07810 876 210 Email: info@evolutiontraining.co.uk www.evolutiontraining.co.uk Sussex - Worthing Email: jim@espconsultancy.co.uk West Sussex - Chichester Andrew T. Austin Email: andrew@23nlpeople.com www.nlpstudygroup.com

Bath NLP North East Somerset Philippe Roy Tel: 01225 404 050 Email: pr@in-focus.org www.bathnlp.co.uk

Bristol David Griffiths Tel: 01179 423 310 Email: david@metamorphosis.me.uk Cornwall Practice Group Elizabeth Pritchard Tel: 01326 212 959 Email: elizabeth@zeteticmind.com www.zeteticmind.com Cornwall (West) Robert Ford Telephone: 08453 962842 Mobile: 07976 715234 Email: livinglifenlp@orange.net

Devon - South-West (totnes) NLP Support Group Alice Llewellyn & Anna Scott-Heyward Tel: 01803 866706/01803 323885

Walsall/Birmingham Richard Pearce Tel: 07760 175589 Email: richard@kochin.co.uk

Devon - Torquay Chris Williams Tel: 0781 354 9073

West Midlands - Worcestershire Sharon Rooke & David Smallwood Tel:01905 352 882 Email: sharon@SCRassociates.com info@centralnlp.co.uk www.SCRassociates.com

Devon & Cornwall NLP Practice Group Nick Evans Tel: 01752 245 570 Mob: 07832 357 208 Email: nick@nlp-southwest.co.uk www.nlp-southwest.co.uk Dorset John Chisholm or Brian Morton Tel: 01202 42 42 50 Email: john@creative-leadership.co.uk bmhrd@btinternet.com www.nlpdorset.co.uk Swindon, West Country Tony Nutley 01793 554834 Email: info@ukcpd.net www.ukcpd.net West Somerset Caitlin Collins Tel: 01643 841310 Email: info@naturalmindmagic.com Worcestershire and Gloucestershire Practice Group Kim Phillips Tel: 01386 861916 Email: kimmphillips@hotmail.com

England - Midlands The Derby NLP Practice Group Karl Walkinshaw Tel: 07971 654 440 Email: karl@k-d-w.co.uk East Midlands NLP Group William Wood Tel: 01332 347141 x2556/ 01332 669364 Midlands - Birmingham Mandy Ward Tel: 0121 625 7193 Mob: 07740 075669 Email: mandy.ward3@virgin.net Northants - Northampton Ron Sheffield Tel: 01604 812800 Email: ronald.sheffield@virgin.net www.nlpgroups.org

Scotland Edinburgh Centre of Excellence Practice Group Michael Spence Tel: 0131 664 7854 Email: msnlp@btconnect.com Edinburgh NLP Practice Group Patrick Wheatley & Sheena Wheatley Tel: 07765244030/ 0131 664 4344 Email: wheatley.co@btconnect.com sheena@changingperceptions.org.uk www.changingperceptions.org.uk Forres/Elgin NLP Practice Group (North of Scotland) Rosie O’ Hara Tel: 01309 676004 Email: nlphighland@onyxnet.co.uk www.nlphighland.co.uk Glasgow Mina McGuigan Tel: 01236 610 949 Mob: 07916 275 605 Email: mina@nlpacademyscotland.co.uk www.nlpacademyscotland.co.uk Glasgow Centre of Excellence Practice Group Michael Spence Tel: 01316 647 854 Mob: 07710 332 841 Email: msnlp@btconnect.com Glasgow - NLP in Education Jeff Goodwin Tel: 0870 060 1549/0141 248 6484 Email: jeff@nlpscotland.com www.nlpscotland.com

Wales Shropshire & Mid Wales Practice Group Nick Greer Tel: 01743 361133 Email: nlpgroup@nickgreer.com www.nickgreer.com

Nottingham Timothy Morrell Tel: 07810 484 215 Email: tim@focushigher.co.uk www.focushigher.co.uk

Practice Groups meet regularly and give you the chance to share experiences with like minded individuals and fellow professionals.

They also offer you the opportunity to further your knowledge and add to your Continual Professional Development (CPD) through informed lectures and workshops.

For further information on the Practice Groups listed, please log on to our website, www.anlp.org If you would like to add your Practice Group to this list or change existing details, please contact Lala on 0845 053 1162 or email members@anlp.org

rapport - Autumn 2008

| 49

ENDNOTE

David Rowan

A

s Practitioners, Trainers and Master Practitioners of NLP, we may debate amongst ourselves whether or not what we do may considered to be a therapy, a coaching process or a form of personal development and education. We might wonder whether we are engaged in an art that is mystical or a practice that is medical; is NLP advanced personal coaching or a healing profession of the mind ?

To those outside of our field, the distinctions may be less clear and for the general public there may be no distinctions at all; for them, we are proponents of some kind of guiding care that involves talking … and we engage in the act of influencing an individual’s mind.

For those in private practice, the general public, our clients, are the bread and butter of our trade; and they are the most important people in any debate regarding legislation, insurance or quality assurance. For the public, it is important that we are perceived as competent professionals, happy to stand tall beneath the harsh gaze of any critique; confident in the efficacy of our trade. We get results; great results – do we not ?

We can often provide reams of anecdotal evidence of our work and yet, for the public, let alone the NHS, BPS and the scientific community at large, we need to either provide what might be termed, ‘hard science’, to support our claims or, to reassure our potential customers that we are on a par with all the other talking therapies available in the market place, we need to be members of the talking profession’s club: the can-do register. We need to demonstrate that we are an

50 |

Autumn 2008 - rapport

NLP, Talking Therapies and the proposed Psychotherapy Legislation by the HPC equal choice and that we meet the stringent national standard of good practice. Above all, our clients need to know that if an unscrupulous member of society should acquire our skills and lurk within our ranks then this rogue element will be identified and removed. It is vital for our good name that our clients are properly protected. As far as the general public is concerned, this would mean our inclusion on a national register of approved talking therapies. To be excluded, surely, would indeed raise an eye brow of suspicion.

That a stringent standard of good practice does not yet exist raises an eye brow of many a new student of NLP training; the breath of the undertaking to create such a register is not always apparent. For example, if an individual were to talk to a taxi driver about a personal problem, in that specific moment the taxi driver is performing a psychotherapeutic role. How can we legislate for that ? Should we even try ? Is it possible to legislate for a code of practice every time two adults consent to engage in a conversation for the purpose of a mutual benefit or exchange ?

So far, the HPC; Health Professions Council, is still at an embryonic stage of forming such a blanket code of practice and the pluralistic nature of talking therapies is not lending itself to a clear cut, results/target driven system at all. They are forging ahead though and it might be a wise step for all exponents of talking therapies to ensure that their particular method and approach is included in any register that may arise. At present, the HPC is fact finding;

gathering as much information as it can about methodologies and perspectives so that it can attempt to create a code of practice and procedure that will suit all and inhibit none. Given the diverse range of approaches and practices within the talking therapies profession, it is hardly surprising that the formulation of a stringent working practice that all of us should adhere to has ground to a halt. The letters pages of The Times have been busy voicing the opinions from a diverse range of guilds, academies and universities. It would seem that the breadth of approaches in the field of talking therapies is so broad that a set of guidelines that supports one practice would be stifling to another. Personally, I think such an approach is unworkable. To create a flexible set of guidelines is probably more workable and possibly reassuring enough for the public. It is also possible, of course, that there might be an agenda within the HPC to eradicate certain talking therapies or practices by making it impossible for them to continue.

Meanwhile then, while the HPC is unable to find agreement on the specifics of working practices between the more well known and recognised talking therapies, it would be wise for the NLP organisations to ensure that they are included on any forthcoming registers. If NLP is truly a technology and a methodology then this too needs to be included in the approved skill listings created by the HPC. We might not like the idea of legislation or restrictions placed around our methodologies or approaches; what about our freedoms ? We’re not criminals!

No, we are not criminals, but some people are. We are professional and competent, but some people aren’t. Most of us, I imagine, enter NLP for humanitarian reasons but some are motivated by nothing other than profit. A profit hungry human being, armed and primed with skills in hypnotic manipulation of the highest calibre is a daunting prospect; the potential for the creation of which is present within every training room.

We have laws in society. Some people break them. Society votes every 5 years to continue the practice of having a society that polices its rogue elements; we are willing to have a highway code, accident insurance and a licence of competency to drive; to protect ourselves from dangerous rogues.

Is it a problem for NLP if we take just as much care to reassure our clients that it is safe for them to place their trust, their very mind, in our hands ?

We could be rebellious and partisan about legislation; and find ourselves marginalised and ultimately unable to practice within the law. Alternatively, we can embrace the concept of legislation and take this as a golden opportunity to fully take our place on the playing field of talking therapies. We have been frowned upon too long by narrow viewpoints and fearful antagonists.

Quite literally, the process of legislation may provide us with the chance to get even.

If you’d like to know more, please visit: www.hpc-uk.org David Rowan MA: MAP@davidrowan.co.uk

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by Frank Farrelly & Nick Kemp

May 8 - 10th 2009 The Queens Hotel Leeds UK

Frank Farrelly, the creator of Provocative Therapy and Nick Kemp present a 3 day course on how to use the Provocative Therapy tool kit when working with private clients in a therapeutic context. This intensive training will focus on the Provocative Therapy "interview" and a series of exercises to develop Provocative Therapy Skills. The format of the training is highly interactive and because this event is hosted by The Association For Provocative Therapy (AFPT) you will also enjoy the following benefits: The 25 hour training will be counted towards full AFPT membership.

You will be automatically be eligible to join AFPT as an "Associate AFPT member” Early bird price if booked before 28th Feb 2009 £599 - Full Price £750.

Places are limited so book early to secure your place online at

www.associationforprovocativetherapy.com Tel 01274 622994