Human Relations The Art and Science of Building Effective Relationships, 2nd edition Vivian McCann S

Human Relations The Art and Science of Building Effective Relationships, 2nd edition BY

Vivian McCann

Email: Richard@qwconsultancy.com

Chapter 1: Foundations of Human Relations Chapter Overview This chapter describes effective human relations, which are important for successful relationships in our personal and professional lives. It looks at the research involved in psychology, science, and human relations psychology in regards to human relations, as well as the four dimensions on which cultures can be compared.

Learning Objectives • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Describe two reasons to develop good human relations Explain how context affects our everyday lives.

Explain the importance of “context” in human relations Explain why culture is an important element of context Explain the role of psychology in learning about human relations Explain how generational differences influence values of that generation Summarize how cultural values can influence the expectations, beliefs, and behaviors of individuals Summarize the meaning of values and how it helps us understand others Describe how survival needs influence cultures and their values Compare and contrast the use of nationality as the basis for cultural exploration Compare individualist and collectivist cultures Explain how ‘power distance’ influences cultural norms Describe the effects of ‘uncertainty avoidance’ on cultural practices and behavior patterns Compare the belief systems of masculine and feminine cultures Explain how understanding culture can improve your relations with others

Key Terms and Concepts Context Psychology Empirical evidence Human relations Culture Values Individualism-Collectivism (IC) Power Distance (PD) High power distance cultures

Low power distance cultures Uncertainty Avoidance (UA) High uncertainty avoidance culture Low uncertainty avoidance culture Masculinity-Femininity (MF) Sex Gender Masculine culture Feminine culture

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Chapter Outline I.

II.

III.

Why Study Human Relations?

A. HUMAN RELATIONS: The ability to interact effectively with diverse others in a variety of situations. a. Effective interpersonal skills are key to successful personal relationships. b. Success in relationships is nested in effective patterns of communication. c. Interpersonal skills are highly valued in the workforce today (e.g., future employers). d. Skills must be paired with an understanding of the context of interactions.

What Is Context?

A. CONTEXT: Personalities, cultural background, situational factors in each interaction.

B. Preview Questions 1. How does context affect our everyday lives?

2. What types of context are important in human relations?

3. Why do we need to understand context to be effective in our relations with others?

C. Critical Thinking Question: Think of a skill that you know well and list some of the ways that context is important in mastery of that skill.

D. How does context apply to human relations activities?

1. Listening 1) For example, listening is an important aspect of human relations.

2) Can you think of a reason why this is true?

3) Is it helpful every time you listen to someone else? Or every time someone listens to you? How do you know?

4) Why do you think listening effectiveness differs from situation to situation?

2. Recognition of diversity 1) Increasing diversity in American culture and society influences relations with others.

2) Cultural backgrounds play significant role in beliefs, expectations, and interpretations that influence interactions with others.

Psychology, Science, and Human Relations A. Preview Questions 1. What is psychology, and how does it help us develop better human relations?

2. What makes psychology a science?

3. How do we best define human relations?

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IV.

B. PSYCHOLOGY is the scientific study of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

1. Study of PSYCHOLOGY is best suited to understand context.

2. Psychology considers internal (personality) and external (social and cultural) factors.

C. Psychology is science-based with empirical evidence.

1. EMPIRICAL EVIDENCE: Based on data that have been collected through precise measurement under carefully controlled conditions.

2. Why does this matter when studying human relations? a. What problems might occur if only your own personal experience or that of another is used to understand and/or interpret why people think or act in certain ways? b. Can you give an example?

D. HUMAN RELATIONS is the ability to interact effectively with diverse others in a variety of situations.

1. Developing human relations is a process that begins early in life and continues to develop in formal and informal ways.

2. Activity 1.1: Assessing Your Current Human Relations Abilities.

Culture: A Unifying Theme A. What is culture?

1. CULTURE is a set of values, shared by a group of people, which shape and influence the norms, attitudes, beliefs, expectations, perceptions, and behaviors of the group members.

2. Preview Questions a. What is culture? Name at least six different examples of culture. b. What are values? Do they affect culture? c. What factors influence development of a particular culture and its values? d. To what extent can we determine a person’s culture from his or her physical appearance?

3. Culture is steeped in diversity. a. See Figure 1.1: Values Are the Foundation of Culture. b. A wide degree of diversity in acceptable behavior among different people comes from different value systems. c. Diversity involves a long, enduring history. d. Diversity creates a sense of “right” behaviors or “naturalness” that may be very different among people.

4. Culture influences basic values related to a wide range of things: group’s norms, beliefs, situational expectations, perceptions, and attitudes.

B. How are values defined?

1. VALUES are guiding principles. a. Everyone has values. See Activity 1.2: Values Identification Exercise. b. Values are part of everyday life. See Handout 1.6: Values in Everyday Life Worksheet.

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V.

c. Judgments about goodness and badness are often made when there is disagreement with personal beliefs and behaviors. d. Challenge in value identification involves discovery of positive outcomes each person seeks. e. Becoming familiar with global value systems provides a way to draw ideas and possibilities.

2. Critical Thinking Question: Take a moment to consider someone’s behavior that has puzzled you. What value might be driving that behavior? Remember to frame the value as a positive outcome rather than in negative terms (such as excitement rather than instability).

C. What are the origins of culture?

1. See Figure 1.2: A Model of Cultural Development.

2. Cultural norms are transmitted between generations, causing change to evolve slowly.

3. The basic component of cultural norms equals survival. Survival needs frame cultural variations.

4. Most cross-cultural researchers believe cultural norms and values stem from behavior patterns needed to survive and thrive.

5. Geographical region influence a. Particular environmental challenges (and their resolution) shape cultural values, norms, and behavior patterns. b. Challenges include such things as availability of resources, population density, and climate. c. Critical Thinking Question: Can you think of an example of a crowded region that has a strict social structure and hierarchical status groups?

6. Non-geographical influence a. Culture permeates the lives and choices made as people pursue individual goals. b. Non-geographical influences include such things as age, gender, education, ethnicity, race, religion, and related social needs. c. Critical Thinking Question: Think about your own culture and identify one important element of it—it might be your age, gender, ethnicity, religion, or race. Next, think about how this element of your culture—and, thus, your identity—has influenced your life in terms of your choices, opportunities, or goals. What is one specific life outcome you can link directly to your culture? That is, name one specific way that this element of your culture helped lead you to where you are now. If you are comfortable sharing this information, compare your answer to that of one of your classmates or friends.

Dimensions of Culture A. Preview Questions

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1. What are the four main dimensions used to compare cultures, and what does each include?

2. Name a few characteristics of each dimension of culture.

3. What two dangers must we be aware of in comparing cultures?

B. Four main dimensions are used to compare cultures: Individualism-collectivism, power distance, uncertainty avoidance, and masculinity-femininity.

1. Individualism-Collectivism a. INDIVIDUALISM-COLLECTIVISM (IC) is a value system based on the relative importance of the individual versus the group or family. b. The dimension is characterized on a continuum with individualism (higher value on the individual) on one end and collectivism (higher value on the group or family) on the other. See Figure 1.4: A Sample of Individualism-Collectivism Rankings. c. The majority of the world’s population lives in collectivist cultures. Relationships are interdependent. Elder members are revered, family rituals are attended, finances and other resources are shared, and family members are remembered after death. d. In individualist cultures, the needs and goals of individuals take precedence over needs and goals of the social groups. Small nuclear families encourage children to “stand on their own”; elders are often not cared for by family members, and a sense of achievement and success is often individualistic. e. Individualism and collectivism are rarely unequivocal classifications for all people within any culture. f. There are advantages and disadvantages to each part of the IC dimension.

1) Individualistic cultures support more personal choice in relationships, jobs, and interest, but may create more broken or lost relationships.

2) Collectivistic cultures support greater family and social group loyalty, but may create oppressive closeness for some members. g. See Activity 1.4: Are You an Individualist or a Collectivist? and Activity 1.5: Assessing Your Other Cultural Dimensions. h. Several dangers are inherent in comparing cultures; including stereotyping and assuming that national culture explains all cultural differences among and between people.

2. Power Distance a. POWER DISTANCE (PD) examines how a culture deals with the basic issue of human inequality. b. Societies differentially create mechanisms to reinforce dominance.

1) HIGH POWER DISTANCE CULTURES have stricter hierarchies with greater distance between each level.

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2) LOW POWER DISTANCE CULTURES deemphasize hierarchies and strive to reduce distance between the various levels. c. High power distance cultures employ inequality as a means of maintaining social order.

1) In this perspective, humans are dominance-oriented with strict hierarchies that create a system of controls and reduce chaos.

2) Inequality is accepted, and there is less social mobility. d. Low power distance cultures value equality, but concede that inequality is a “necessary evil.”

1) Hierarchies are accepted as a means of maintaining social order, but those with power are not considered superior.

2) Power is more arbitrary and more achievable and there is more social mobility. e. See Table 1.3: Key Features of High and Low Power Distance Cultures. f. Power distance affects human relations in a variety of ways.

1) In high power distance cultures, children are taught to obey adults without questions. Teachers are treated with great respect, and classroom communication is largely one-way.

2) In low power distance cultures, children are encouraged to speak openly and to become decision-makers. Students question ideas openly in the classroom. g. Critical Thinking Question: Can you think of teachers you have had that seemed to be “high PD” or “low PD”? How did their expectations fit with your own? How did any discrepancy between your style and your teacher’s style affect your learning and general experiences in the classroom? h. See Activity 1.5: Assessing Your Other Cultural Dimensions.

3. Uncertainty Avoidance a. UNCERTAINTY AVOIDANCE (UA) is the extent to which the members of a culture feel threatened by uncertain or unknown situations. b. See Table 1.4: Key Features of High and Low Uncertainty Avoidance Cultures. c. Understanding the diverse uncertainty coping strategies among cultures is critical to the study of human relations. Although uncertainty is culturally universal, the perception of uncertainty is variable between and within cultures.

1) HIGH UNCERTAINTY AVOIDANCE CULTURES perceive uncertainty as an ongoing threat to be resisted.

2) LOW UNCERTAINTY CULTURES perceive uncertainty as normal and nonthreatening.

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d. In high UA cultures, open, acceptable expression of emotions reduces anxiety; staying busy channels anxious energy into productive directions; and creating rules and rituals that prescribe concrete ways to react mediates uncertainty and supports resistance to change. e. In low UA cultures, uncertainty does not create the same level of anxiety. Greater value is placed on controlling, rather than expressing, emotions, and there is less need to stay busy and less resistance to change or new ideas. f. Empowerment differs between low UA and high UA cultures.

1) People in low UA cultures feel capable of influencing their own and others’ lives.

2) People in high UA cultures feel a sense of powerlessness across many aspects of their lives. g. People in high UA cultures are more reactive to unexpected events, more cautious in new situations, and more resistant to change and new ideas. In school settings, they seek the right answers, “right or wrong” terms, and a highly structured, teacher-dominated learning environment. h. People in low UA cultures are not easily affected by unexpected events and are more likely to seek new ideas and change. In school settings, they want to explore various possibilities for answers with open-ended assignments and teachers who admit to not knowing all the answers. i. The best explanation for variance in uncertainty avoidance is probably rooted in historical and religious traditions. j. See Activity 1.5: Assessing Your Other Cultural Dimensions.

4. Masculinity-Femininity a. Masculinity-Femininity dimension is firmly rooted in historical traditions. These long-standing traditions aid in the understanding of the slow rate of normative, cultural change. b. MASCULINITY-FEMININITY (MF) refers to the degree of differentiation between the roles of men and women in a culture. c. The terms “sex” and “gender” refer to very different concepts.

1) SEX refers to the biological differences between men and women. These differences are obvious and irrefutable.

2) GENDER refers to the social or cultural differences between masculinity and femininity. Gender differences can vary among different cultures. d. Traditional female roles are referred to as femininity; traditional male roles are referred to as masculinity.

1) Masculine characteristics traditionally include such terms as emotionally tough, assertive, independent, competitive, and achievement-oriented.

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e.

f.

g.

h.

2) Female characteristics traditionally include such terms as cooperative, nurturing, supportive, emotionally sensitive, and relationship-oriented.

The distinction between masculinity and femininity are universally accepted, but perception differs about the degree of separation between the two sets of roles.

1) MASCULINE CULTURE expects a high degree of separation between men’s and women’s roles. In a masculine culture, men would be expected to be high achievers in the workplace to financially support the family, whereas women would be expected to be supportive and nurturing wives and mothers.

2) FEMININE CULTURE expects and accepts overlapping roles for men and women. In a feminine culture, both men and women can pursue careers and/or nurturing relationships, depending on individual strengths and interests.

Some theorists suggest that culture is related to climate.

1) Historically, a hunter-gatherer (feminine) and a agricultural (masculine) society flourish in different climates.

2) Contemporary hunter-gatherer societies tend to flourish in very warm and very cold climates; agricultural societies flourish in more moderate climates.

The degree of cultural masculinity-femininity informs human relations in a variety of ways.

1) In masculine cultures, money and material objects rank as most important and status is derived from wealth.

2) In feminine cultures, the primary focus is on quality of life and relationships.

Expectations of school, sex, and the workforce are influenced by masculinity-femininity.

1) Expectations in school settings are influenced by masculinity-femininity. i. Masculine cultures prefer smart teachers; feminine cultures prefer friendly teachers. ii. Masculine cultures foster schools where grades and performance are most valued; feminine cultures foster social skills.

2) Expectations related to gender are influenced by masculinity-femininity. i. Sex in masculine cultures is about performance, and sex in feminine cultures is about relating to one’s partner.

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ii. Masculine cultures foster the traditional double standard in which men demonstrate great sexual prowess and women are chaste. iii. Sex is more openly discussed and accepted by both genders in feminine cultures.

Preview Questions Why Study Human Relations 1. How important is good human relations in our personal lives?

2. How important is good human relations in our work lives?

3. Are good human relations simply good communication skills?

What Is Context?

1. How does context affect our everyday lives?

2. What types of context are important in human relations?

3. Why do we need to understand context to be effective in our relations with others?

Psychology, Science, and Human Relations 1. What is psychology and how does it help us develop better human relations?

2. What makes psychology a science?

3. How do we best define human relations?

Culture: A Unifying Theme 1. What is culture? Name at least six different examples of culture.

2. What are values? Do they affect culture?

3. What factors influence development of a particular culture and its values?

4. To what extent can we determine a person’s culture from his or her physical appearance?

Dimensions of Culture 1. What are the four main dimensions used to compare cultures, and what does each one include?

2. Name a few characteristics of each dimension of culture.

3. What two dangers must we be aware of in comparing national cultures?

Critical Thinking Questions What Is Context?

1. Think of a skill that you know well and list some of the ways that context is important in mastery of that skill.

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Culture: A Unifying Theme 1. Take a moment and consider someone’s behavior that has puzzled you. What value might be driving that behavior? Remember to frame the value as a positive outcome rather than in negative terms (such as excitement rather than instability).

2. Can you think of an example of a crowded region that has strict social structure and hierarchical status groups?

3. Think about your own culture and identify one important element of it—it might be your age, gender, ethnicity, religion, or race. Next, think about how this element of your culture—and, thus, your identity—has influenced your life in terms of your choices, opportunities, or goals. What is one specific life outcome that you can link directly to your culture? That is, name one specific way this element of your culture helped lead you to where you are now. If you are comfortable sharing that information, compare your answer to that of one of your classmates or friends.

Dimensions of Culture 1. Can you think of teachers you have had that seemed to be “high PD” or “low PD”?

How did their expectations fit with your own? How did any discrepancy between your style and your teacher’s style affect your learning and general experiences in the classroom?

Class Activities Where in the World?

• Assign students the “Where in the World” Handout 1.5 to be completed and brought to class.

• Using a news item from the last 10 days, instruct students to identify a country other than the United States.

• Students are then asked to go to the CIA World Factbook website (https://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/) to research the country found in their news article. The CIA World Factbook has been published in print form for public use by the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency since 1981. This is one of the best geographic resources on the Internet. It is a collection of maps, flags, and comprehensive profiles of geographic information for 270 countries and territories in the world. Each country profile tracks such demographics as population, ethnicity, and literacy rates, as well as political, geographical, and economic data.

• Using Handout 1.5, students will provide brief summary information on their selected country, including: o name of country o location o area/comparative o natural resources o population o birth and death rates

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o ethnic groups o government type o capital o legal system o economic overview o unemployment o currency o military branches o transnational issues Instruct students to bring completed Handout 1.5 to class and compare information in small groups, sharing answers to the following questions: o What were the most interesting things you learned about your country? o What did you already know about your country? o Did any of the information you discovered surprise you? How? Be specific. o Given what you have learned about the countries presented in your group, which country or countries are most like the United States? Which countries are least like the United States? How did you decide this? o How do you think these similarities and differences would contribute to the ways in which people relate to each other? Give an example.

Packing Your Values Suitcase • Ask students to imagine they have been selected as student ambassadors of the United States. In this role, each ambassador is asked to select three (3) items that best reflect the values of the entire United States and present these to assemblies of students in other countries. o Ask each student to identify and briefly describe the three (3) items to be included in his or her presentation and briefly explain why or how these selections best represent U.S. values. Remember, the selection should be made on perceptions of values related to the country and not to individuals. o Ask students to compare their selected value items with those selected by a partner. How are the items alike? How are they different? o This exercise can be repeated by asking students to select state values.

What Did You Say? Communication with others is a critical part of cultural understanding. However sensitive we are to nonverbal cues, there are times when the meaning of a word varies significantly from culture to culture. Understanding multiple meanings of words across cultures provides great insight (and oftentimes great fun)!

Ask students to go for a brief visit to Cork City, County Cork, Republic of Ireland.

Smiling, your new Irish friend says the following. What does he mean?

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He’s a tough aish.

He’s a tough individual.

She’ll be going to the market to get a basket.

She’ll be going to the market to get bread.

Go away, you baytur.

Go away, you foolish person.

I claimed him.

I challenged him.

Want to go to the pub for some good crack (craic)? Want to go to the pub for a good time?

That poor old slob.

That nice harmless person.

I will yeah!

No! You would yeah!

You wouldn’t dare!

She was so pissed.

She was so drunk.

If you prefer to travel a bit further, your new friend from Sydney, Australia, says the following to you. What does she mean?

Watch out for that ankle biter.

Watch out for that small child.

What a bludger she is!

What a lazy person she is.

Bush oyster Nasal mucus (you can create your own sentence for this one!)

Look! A chook!

Look! A chicken!

She duxed four of her subjects.

She is at the top of her class in four subjects.

“Just another furphy,” she snarled.

“Just another unreliable rumor,” she said.

Was that a jumbuck?

Was that a sheep?

Hit the piss.

Pass the beer.

Offer students a few points of extra credit if they bring a list of terms from another culture. Ask them to share their favorite discoveries with the class.

Class Activities Within the Text Activity 1.1: Assessing Your Current Human Relations Abilities Before reading about culture, students are asked to complete this activity to assess their current strengths and weaknesses in their relations with others. Handout 1.1 is a hard copy of the form.

Activity 1.2: Values Identification Exercise This activity is designed to help students learn about and prioritize their own values. Handout 1.2 is a hard copy of the form.

Activity 1.3: Using Values to Understand Conflict This activity asks students to apply their understanding of how values influence behavior to something they didn’t like or understand about a friend.

Activity 1.4: Are You an Individualist or a Collectivist?

To test their level of individualism or collectivism, students are directed to complete the questionnaire and reflective questions contained within this activity. Handout 1.3 is a hard copy of the form.

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Activity 1.5: Assessing Your Other Cultural Dimensions • Part 1 of this exercise asks students to determine where they fit on the individualismcollectivism continuum and to support their placement with examples of their own behavior. Handout 1.4/Part 1 is a hard copy of the form.

• Part 2 of this activity helps students to assess their cultural level of power distance.

Handout 1.4/Part 2 is a hard copy of the form.

• Part 3 of the Assessing Your Own Dimensions of Culture exercise is used to help students determine their own cultural level of uncertainty avoidance. Handout 1.4/Part 3 contains a hard copy of the form.

• The final part of Activity 1.4 directs students to complete the end of the exercise to determine where they fit on the masculinity-femininity continuum and to support their placement with personal behavioral examples. Handout 1.4/Part 4 contains a hard copy of this form.

Handouts HO 1.1 (Activity 1.1): Assessing Your Current Human Relations Abilities HO 1.2 (Activity 1.2): Values Identification Exercise HO 1.3 (Activity 1.4): Are You an Individualist or a Collectivist?

HO 1.4 (Activity 1.5): Assessing Your Other Cultural Dimensions HO 1.5: Where in the World?

HO 1.6: Values in Everyday Life Worksheet NAME:_____________________________________DATE:_______________________

HANDOUT 1.1: ASSESSING YOUR CURRENT HUMAN RELATIONS ABILITIES Instructions: This exercise will help you evaluate your current strengths and areas for improvement in your relations with others. For each of the following questions, first rate yourself on a scale of 1–5 (1=lowest and 5=highest), then provide the additional information. Be as specific as possible.

1.

Overall, how well would you say you understand people? (circle one) 1 2 3 4 5 The person(s) I understand the most is/are _____________________________.

(List names/relationships) I least understand ___________________, and/or people when _____________ (Name of person) ____________________________________________________________________.

(Particular situation, setting, or characteristic)

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2.

Overall, how well would you say you get along with people? (circle one) 1 2 3 4 5 The person(s) I get along with best is/are ______________________________.

(Name of person/s) I get along the worst with ___________________, and/or people when (Name of person) ____________________________________________________________________.

(Particular situation, setting, or characteristic)

3.

Overall, how effectively do you communicate with people? (circle one) 1 2 3 4 5 The person(s) I communicate with best is/are ___________________________.

(Name of person/s) I communicate the least effectively with ___________________, and/or people (Name of person) when ______________________________________________________________.

(Particular situation, setting, or characteristic)

4.

Overall, how effectively do you resolve conflict with people? (circle one) 1 2 3 4 5 The person(s) I resolve conflict with best is/are _________________________.

(Name of person/s) I have the most problems resolving conflict with __________________, and/or (Name of person) when ______________________________________________________________.

(Particular situation, setting, or characteristic)

5.

How often do you feel understood by others? (1=never, 5=always) (circle one) 1 2 3 4 5 The person(s) who best understand(s) me is/are ________________________.

(Name of person/s) I feel the least understood by ___________________, and/or when (Name of person) ___________________________________________________________________.

(Particular situation, setting, or characteristic)

6.

Finally, think about your general interpersonal skills. What are your best qualities (which enhance your human relations)? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ What are your weakest areas (which detract from your human relations)? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

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7.

a. Now, get a “second opinion” on question 6: Ask a person who knows you well what he or she thinks are your strongest and weakest areas in your relations with others.

Strongest: _____________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ Weakest: __________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ b. Compare your answers to question 6 to what you learned in question 7a.

What thoughts do you have about the similarities and differences? __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________

8.

Review the answers you gave to each of the questions in this exercise, and reflect on them.

Do you notice any patterns that may lend insight into your human relations? a. Overall, what is working well for you, and with whom or in what settings? b. What are your biggest challenges in terms of personal characteristics, people, or situations? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

NAME:_____________________________________DATE:_______________________

HANDOUT 1.2: VALUES IDENTIFICATION EXERCISE Instructions: This activity will help you prioritize your values.

• Part 1 lists some terminal values, or values that refer to overall life goals.

• In part 2 you will find instrumental values, or values that refer to types of behavior that we strive for or prefer. For each list, choose the values that are most important and least important to you and rank that list from 1 to 18.

• Your number 1 should be your highest value on that list, number 2 your second highest, and so forth, down to number 18, which is your least important value.

PART 1: TERMINAL VALUES _______ A Comfortable Life (a prosperous life) _______ An Exciting Life (a stimulating, active life) _______ A Sense of Accomplishment (making a lasting contribution) _______ A World at Peace (free of war and conflict) _______ A World of Beauty (beauty of nature and the arts) _______ Equality (equal opportunity for all)

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_______ Family Security (taking care of loved ones) _______ Freedom (independence, free choice) _______ Happiness (contentedness) _______ Inner Harmony (freedom from inner conflict) _______ Mature Love (sexual and spiritual intimacy) _______ National Security (protection from attack) _______ Pleasure (an enjoyable, leisurely life) _______ Salvation (saved, eternal life) _______ Self-Respect (self-esteem) _______ Social Recognition (respect, admiration) _______ True Friendship (close companionship) _______ Wisdom (a mature understanding of life) PART 2: INSTRUMENTAL VALUES _______ Ambitious (hard-working, aspiring) _______ Broadminded (open-minded) _______ Capable (competent, effective) _______ Cheerful (lighthearted, joyful) _______ Clean (neat, tidy) _______ Courageous (standing up for your beliefs) _______ Forgiving (willing to pardon others) _______ Helpful (working for others’ welfare) _______ Honest (sincere, truthful) _______ Imaginative (daring, creative) _______ Independent (self-reliant, self-sufficient) _______ Intellectual (intelligent, reflective) _______ Logical (consistent, rational) _______ Loving (affectionate, tender) _______ Obedient (dutiful, respectful) _______ Polite (courteous, well-mannered) _______ Responsible (dependable, reliable) _______ Self-Controlled (restrained, self-disciplined) PART 3: SUMMARY AND ANALYSIS 1. A. What are your top three terminal values?

B. What are your top three instrumental values? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ 2.

It has been suggested that we have the best chance of achieving our terminal values (overall life outcome goals) when our everyday actions are consistent with these goals. Our everyday actions tend to be reflected in our instrumental values, so we can use the values

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ranking we completed above to test our current level of consistency. a. Look back at your top three terminal values, and for each one, list one or two instrumental values from the complete list of 18 that you think would help a person achieve that terminal value. b. Now, look back at your highest-ranked instrumental values. How often did these values get mentioned in your answer to 2a above? What other instrumental values did you mention in 2a that were not high on your own rankings of instrumental values? How is that information helpful to you? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ 3.

Overall, what insights did you gain from this activity? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

Source: Rokeach, 1967.

NAME:_____________________________________DATE:_______________________

HANDOUT 1.3: ARE YOU AN INDIVIDUALIST OR A COLLECTIVIST? Instructions: For each of the following 11 statements, rate how strongly you agree disagree with the statement using the following 7-point scale:

1 Strongly Disagree 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

I often do “my own thing.”

The well-being of my coworkers is important to me.

One should live one’s life independently of others.

If a co-worker gets a prize, I would feel proud.

I like my privacy.

If a relative were in financial difficulty, I would help within my means.

I prefer to be direct and forthright when discussing with people.

It is important to maintain

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2 Disagree

3 Neutral

4 Agree

5 Strongly Agree

harmony within my group.

9. I am a unique individual.

10. I like sharing things with my neighbors.

11. What happens to me is my own doing.

12. I feel good when I cooperate with others.

13. When I succeed, it is usually because of my abilities.

14. My happiness depends very much on the happiness of those around me.

15. I enjoy being unique and different from others in many ways.

16. To me, pleasure is spending time with others.

SCORING To score your questionnaire, first reverse your scores for items 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13, and 15. This means that if you scored the item 1, change it to 5, or 5 becomes 1. Similarly, if you scored it 2, change it to 4, or change 4 to 2. If you scored it 3, that remains the same. (If you’d like to know why certain scores are reversed, ask your instructor!)

Next, total all your scores, using the new numbers for the items whose scores were reversed. You should end up with a number between 5 and 80.

APPLYING AND COMPARING YOUR SCORE Lower scores indicate more individualism. Higher scores indicate greater collectivism. On the following continuum, place an X to indicate where you scored. |-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

5 17 High Individualism

29

42

55

67

80 High Collectivism

QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION 1.

What is your initial reaction to your score? Are you surprised? How does your actual score compare to what you thought your score would be? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

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2.

What cultural factors (e.g., parents or family, peers, your educational system, religion, nationality, etc.) have played the biggest role in your belief system concerning individualism–collectivism? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

3.

How does your score compare to the scores of some of the other students in your class? In small groups, discuss the similarities and differences in your scores, along with how your individual cultural backgrounds influenced your scores. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

NAME:_____________________________________DATE:_______________________

HANDOUT 1.4: ASSESSING YOUR OWN DIMENSIONS OF CULTURE Instructions: For each of the following 18 statements, rate how strongly you agree or disagree with the statement using the following 5-point scale: 1 Strongly Disagree 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

It’s easy for me to refuse a request from someone who is in a higher position than I am.

I tend to place a high value on the opinions of people who are in higher positions than I am.

In a work environment, I keep my comments to myself unless my boss asks for them.

It is easy for me to interact with people whose social status is different from mine.

It is important for people to know their rightful place in society.

A person’s social status reflects that person’s place in the society.

I enjoy talking with strangers.

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2 Disagree

3 Neutral

4 Agree

5 Strongly Agree

8.

I prefer that my life have predictable routines rather than be filled with unexpected changes.

9. I would describe myself as a risk-taker.

10. I am most comfortable when I have clear directions or instructions for something.

11. I tend to get anxious when I don’t know how something will turn out.

12. I prefer to have general guidelines for a task, rather than detailed instructions.

13. Women are generally more caring than men.

14. Men tend to be physically stronger than women.

15. Women are usually more ambitious than men.

16. I think it is okay for men to be emotional sometimes.

17. Men should generally be the sole breadwinner in a family.

18. Men can be as caring as women.

TO SCORE YOUR QUESTIONNAIRE: 1.

2.

3.

4.

First, reverse your scores for items 1,4, 7, 9, 12, 15, 16, and 18. This means that if you scored the item 1, change it to 5, or 5 becomes 1. Similarly, if you scored it 2, change it to 4, or change 4 to 2. If you scored it 3, that remains the same. (If you’d like to know why certain scores are reversed, ask your instructor!)

Next, add up your scores for items 1–6, using the new numbers for the items whose scores were reversed. You should end up with a number between 6 and 30. Higher scores indicate higher power distance; lower scores indicate lower power distance.

Then, add up your scores from items 7–12, using the new numbers for the items whose scores you reversed. You should end up with a number between 6 and 30. Higher scores indicate higher uncertainty avoidance; lower scores indicate lower uncertainty avoidance.

Finally, add up your scores from items 13–18, using the new numbers for the items whose scores you reversed. You should end up with a number between 6 and 30. Higher scores indicate masculinity (in other words, more distinction between men’s and women’s roles); lower scores indicate lower masculinity (preferring overlap between men’s and women’s

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roles).

PLOTTING YOUR SCORES a. Power Distance: On the following continuum, place an X to indicate your total score on the first 6 items. |----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 6 12 18 24 30 Low Power Distance High Power Distance b. Uncertainty Avoidance: On the following continuum, place an X to indicate your total score on items 7–12. |----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 6 12 18 24 30 Low Uncertainty Avoidance High Uncertainty Avoidance c. Masculinity-Femininity: On the following continuum, place an X to indicate your total score on items 13–18. |----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 6 12 18 24 30 Low Masculinity High Masculinity WHAT’S NEXT? Although your scores probably don’t mean much to you yet, keep them handy as you read the rest of this chapter. We will discuss each of these three dimensions in greater detail, and as you learn about each one, refer back to your score on that dimension here, so you can apply what you’re learning to your own cultural preferences.

NAME:_____________________________________DATE:_______________________

HANDOUT 1.5: WHERE IN THE WORLD? • •

•

Using a news item from the last 10 days, identify a country other than the United States.

Go to the CIA World Factbook website (https://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/) to research the country found in your news article. The CIA World Factbook has been published in print form for public use by the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency since 1981. This is one of the best geographic resources on the Internet. It is a collection of maps, flags, and comprehensive profiles of geographic information for 270 countries and territories in the world. Each country profile tracks such demographics as population, ethnicity, and literacy rates, as well as political, geographical, and economic data.

After you have researched your country, provide a brief summary: o name of country o location

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o area/comparative o natural resources o population o birth and death rates o ethnic groups o government type o capital o legal system o economic overview o unemployment o currency o military branches o transnational issues •

Bring your completed Where in the World? assignment to class on ______________.

•

With a partner or in a small group, compare answers to the following questions: o What were the most interesting things you learned about your country? o What did you already know about your country? Did any of the information you discovered surprise you? How? Be specific. o Given what you have learned about the countries presented in your group, which country or countries are most like the United States? Which countries are least like the United States? How did you decide this? o How do you think these similarities and differences would contribute to the ways in which people relate to each other? Give an example.

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NAME:________________________________DATE:___________________________

HANDOUT 1.6: Values in Everyday Life Worksheet 1.

2.

3.

Working with a partner or small group, fill in the third row of the worksheet.

Did your group agree on information to be included in each section? Why? Why not?

Which part of the model was the easiest to complete? Which was the most difficult to complete?

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Chapter 2: The Self in Human Relations Chapter Overview This chapter describes the myths of self-esteem and describes the three elements of the self. It also discusses two processes that inherently skew our self-perceptions: self-verification and selfenhancement. Finally, this chapter describes the way we process incoming information about our self.

Learning Objectives • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Explain the purpose of self-concept Describe two strategies used to maintain positive self-concept Determine cultural similarities and differences in self-concept Describe the purpose of possible selves Compare self-esteem to self-concept Explain the functions of self-esteem Distinguish ‘unconditional positive regard’ from ‘conditional positive regard’ in developing self-esteem Determine what self-esteem can or cannot support Explain the stability and fluctuation of self-esteem Describe how culture can influence self-esteem Explain how self-efficacy differs from self-concept and self-esteem Summarize the benefits of self-efficacy Describe the importance of the “sweet spot” in developing self-efficacy Explain how culture influences self-efficacy Describe the four pathways to self-knowledge Explain how to use social comparison to improve self-knowledge Determine cautions when discussing observations and ideas with others Describe how Johari Windows give us insight into ourselves and our relationships Explain how to increase mindfulness to build self-knowledge Distinguish between the private self and the public self Compare the advantages and disadvantages of self-monitoring Analyze the research on ‘self-presentation on Facebook’ Analyze the similarities and differences among the theories of adult development Explain the crisis in each of Erikson’s stages of adulthood Determine Levinson’s major contribution to the understanding of adulthood Analyze Sheehy’s contributions to the understanding of adult development Explain Arnett’s contributions to the understanding of early adult development.

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Key Terms and Concepts Self Self-concept Self-verification Self-enhancement Possible selves Self-esteem Sociometer theory Positive regard Unconditional positive regard Conditional positive regard Trait self-esteem State self-esteem Self-efficacy Self-knowledge Social comparison Self-perception Johari Window Identity

Private self Public self Self-monitoring Intimacy vs. isolation Generativity vs. stagnation Integrity vs. despair Early adult transition Age 30 transition Midlife crisis Cohort Tryout twenties Turbulent thirties Middlescence Age of mastery Flaming fifties Serene sixties Sage seventies

Chapter Outline I. The First Steps: Defining and Understanding the Self A. Overview 1. Who are you? a. Learning effective interaction begins with self-exploration. b. SELF is the sum total of who and what we are, both consciously and unconsciously.

1) Self varies from person to person and changes with experience and efforts 2) Three basic psychological frameworks to understand self: self-concept, self-esteem, and self-efficacy.

2. Activity 2.1: The Twenty Statements Test includes listing of 20 “I am ____” statements, reflections on answers, and consideration of self if three statements were arbitrarily removed. The TST is a longstanding psychological and social psychological “test” for use in gaining insight into one’s “sense of self.” In particular, it helps identify those selfdescriptions that may be due more to a person’s “roles” than who he or she really is or could be.

3. Preview Questions a. What is our self-concept, and what purpose does it serve? How is it influenced by culture? b. What is self-esteem, and what are its functions?

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c. How does self-esteem develop, and to what extent does it change over time? How powerful is it? d. What is self-efficacy, and what benefits does it provide?

B. SELF-CONCEPT is the relatively stable set of perceptions you have about yourself.

1. Overview a. Self-concept is the cognitive component of self. b. See Figure 2.1: Example of Self-Concept. c. Think about responses to Activity 2.1: The Twenty Statements Test. Words used to describe self typically reflect self-concept.

2. Functions of self-concept a. Self-concept serves as interpreter and organizer of information about self in two ways: self-verification and self-enhancement. b. SELF-VERIFICATION is the human tendency to seek out and retain information that confirms or verifies our self-concept.

1) Swann (1997) suggests constancy in self-concept provides stability to aid in confidence related to self-judgments and assessments.

2) The need for constancy can also cause rejection of new insights about self that may contradict older information. c. SELF-ENHANCEMENT is the basic human need to feel good about ourselves.

1) Humans have a strong tendency to develop and maintain a positive sense of self by gravitating toward environments that support positive evaluations and avoiding environments that promote negative self-feelings.

2) Humans use best and/or strongest personal qualities when making comparison with others, resulting in fairly favorable comparisons (for self but not always for others!)

3. Possible selves a. POSSIBLE SELVES refer to visions, both positive and negative, of who and what we might become someday (Markus & Nurius, 1986).

1) “What do you want to do when you grow up?”

2) Possible selves motivate us toward fondest dreams and away from greatest fears.

3) Possible selves provide a “blueprint” for the future (Ruvolo & Markus, 1992). b. Critical Thinking Question: What are some of your possible selves? Identify at least one positive possible self and one negative possible self. How do these possible selves influence your behavior?

4. Culture and self-concept a. Culture has significant impact on self-concept.

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b. See Figure 2.2: The Self in Individualist and Collectivist Cultures.

1) Individualists have self-concepts and values that center on independence and rely on personality traits for selfdescriptions.

2) Collectivists have self-concepts and values that focus primarily on interdependence with others from their social groups, place high value on the ability to develop and maintain harmonious relationships, and rely on contextspecific information for self-descriptions. c. Cultural differences such as these play a role in the actual function of self-concept.

1) Self-concept has a self-enhancement function for individualists; collectivists value self-improvement over self-enhancement.

2) Self-concept functions to improve self for collectivists and to enhance self for individualists.

C. Self-Esteem 1. Overview a. SELF-ESTEEM refers to how we feel about ourselves, or the degree to which we are satisfied with our self-concept. b. Self-esteem is the emotional component of self. c. See Figure 2.3: The Self-Esteem Continuum.

1) Self-esteem is continuum with positive and negative at polar ends.

2) Some psychologists characterize self-esteem as difference between self-concept and ideal self.

2. Functions of Self-Esteem a. Self-esteem provides feedback about sense of belonging and sense of meaningfulness. b. Sense of belonging is explained by sociometer theory.

1) SOCIOMETER THEORY posits that self-esteem acts as a gauge that measures the level of acceptance a person feels from his or her social environment (Leary et al., 1995).

2) People have a set of sociometers that provide feedback (in the form of self-esteem) about effectiveness of social group relationships. c. Self-esteem also measures sense of meaning in life (Brown, 1998).

1) Meaning is gained when a person is fully immersed in and enjoying a life task.

2) The sociometer sends information about positive and effective relationships through the mechanism of positive self-esteem and information about difficult and strained relationships through the mechanism of lower self-esteem.

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3) Task outcome (specifically if it is successful or not) is less relevant than positive feelings engendered within the process.

4) Critical Thinking Questions: Think about your most important relationships and how well they are currently functioning. If they are functioning well, is your self-esteem also fairly positive? If they are experiencing difficulties, have you noticed your self-esteem being negatively affected? Overall, does the sociometer theory seem to explain your current level of self-esteem?

3. Development of Self-Esteem a. Self-esteem is strongly influenced by feedback from others. b. Signals about a person’s goodness or badness are received very early in life. Carl Rogers called this positive regard and noted two types (unconditional positive regard and conditional positive regard).

1) POSITIVE REGARD refers to positive feedback, good feelings, and acceptance.

2) UNCONDITIONAL POSITIVE REGARD refers to giving positive regard and acceptance at all times and in all situations.

1) Unconditional positive regard is unconditional love wherein behavior is separated from the person.

2) Children who receive unconditional positive regard develop positive self-esteem.

3) CONDITIONAL POSTIVE REGARD refers to giving positive regard and acceptance only in certain conditions.

1) Unconditional positive regard conveys that a child is no longer worthy of love when unacceptable behavior occurs.

2) Children develop a sense of hopelessness and of being a “bad” person. Lower self-esteem occurs.

4) What happens as people age?

1) Significant others (e.g., peers, authority figures) continue to contribute to self-esteem.

2) Power over self-esteem is related to value placed on the personal opinion of another.

3) Power over self-esteem of others is reciprocal.

4) “Ego boosters” and “ego busters” are signals sent to others that influence their self-esteem.

5) See Activity 2.2: Self-Esteem and Its Influence on Your Relationships.

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4. What Self-Esteem Can and Cannot Do a. Self-esteem can promote happiness, increase persistence, and facilitate speaking in a group. b. Self-esteem does not automatically lead to better school performance, influence relationship success, or cause violence. c. See Figure 2.4: Sociometer Theory.

1) These findings suggest that honesty is more important than false positive information in helping people improve their lives.

5. Critical Thinking Question: Can you recall a specific time when you thought someone was giving you feedback that was overly positive, possibly in an attempt to make you feel better about yourself? How effective was it? Did it actually boost your self-esteem? If not, what effect did it have?

6. Is a person’s self-esteem stable over time? Research provides conflicting findings. a. Some studies demonstrate that self-esteem fluctuates in childhood, becomes more stable throughout adolescence, and remains relatively stable for the rest of life (Trzesniewski and colleagues, 2003). b. Other studies suggest that praise or success on a difficult task raises self-esteem; failure lowers it.

7. Could this be related to different types of self-esteem? a. TRAIT SELF-ESTEEM refers to an individual’s general pattern of self-esteem over a lifetime. This is a baseline level or internal “set point.” b. STATE SELF-ESTEEM refers to the type of self-esteem which is vulnerable to momentary fluctuations. This fluctuates up or down, but returns to a baseline self-esteem. c. Alternatively, a variety of possible selves may contribute to the stability of self-esteem.

8. Culture and Self-Esteem a. Values play a critical role in a person’s self-esteem. They dictate what is personally important.

1) culture→values→behavior→self-esteem b. For individualists, the path to self-esteem is related to personal achievement, independent thinking, and being true to oneself. c. For collectivists, self-esteem is achieved by thinking and acting in ways that support one’s social group. d. For both cultures, positive self-esteem is derived from behavior that supports cultural norms.

D. Self-Efficacy: Where Self-Concept and Self-Esteem Intersect 1. Overview

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II.

a. SELF-EFFICACY is the extent to which we believe we are capable of achieving our goals. b. Self-efficacy is the third psychological concept to help understand self.

2. Benefits of Self-Efficacy a. High self-efficacy contributes to better grades and achievement of academic goals (Kitsantas and Zimmerman, 2009); and positively affects physical and mental health (e.g., lower levels of depression, greater success at weight loss and smoking cessation).

3. How Does Self-Efficacy Develop? a. Self-efficacy begins to develop in childhood and continues to be influenced by life experiences. b. Goal achievement is best achieved by helping children set high, but attainable, goals. This is the basic principle of self-efficacy in action. c. Self-efficacy can also be raised at any other point in life by following this action.

4. Culture and Self-Efficacy a. There are differences in cultural group self-efficacy. b. Self-efficacy is more highly valued in individualistic cultures than in collectivistic cultures.

1) Individualistic cultures perceive self primarily as an independent being. They view self-efficacy as an important goal, achieved by mastery which results from successful control or influence over a situation or group.

2) Collectivistic cultures view as an interdependent being.

Social situations are perceived as opportunities to develop or strengthen relationships wherein conformity strengthens group solidarity and harmony. Self-efficacy is less important. c. Uncertainty avoidance also influences self-efficacy.

1) Low uncertainty avoidance cultures feel less threatened by change and more personally able to influence life outcomes. This affects self-efficacy.

2) High uncertainty avoidance cultures feel less control and optimism about academic abilities. d. See Figure 2.8: Key Elements of the Self for diagrammatic review of the elements of self. e. Critical Thinking Question: Identify at least one area in which you have high self-efficacy and another in which you have lower selfefficacy. What is one specific thing you could do to improve your self-efficacy in your low area?

Developing Self-Knowledge A. Preview Questions

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1. What is self-knowledge, and how is it important?

2. Describe four ways self-knowledge can be improved. Give an example of each.

B. What Is Self-Knowledge?

1. SELF-KNOWLEDGE is the conscious knowledge you have about your motivations, beliefs, expectations, values, strengths, and weaknesses.

2. Can you think of an example that illustrates your own self-knowledge?

3. Development of self-knowledge involves ongoing commitment to examine self-concept accuracy. This accuracy is influenced by personal perceptions about oneself.

4. Perceptions are influenced by many factors, including such things as social comparison, self-perception, discussion of observations and ideas with others, and the Johari Window.

C. What Is Social Comparison?

1. SOCIAL COMPARISON involves evaluating yourself based on how you think you compare to others. a. Social reality testing involves making social comparisons with others in order to learn about the world and about the self within it, and thereby reduces uncertainty. b. Social comparisons are more likely when people are uncertain. c. People compare themselves with similar others in order to determine what is correct, appropriate and desirable. d. Social reality testing creates conformity pressures because people seek to reduce disagreement between themselves and similar others.

2. Culture and Social Comparison a. Collectivists engage in social comparison more often than individualists and are more likely to make upward comparisons to benefit the entire group. b. Individualists engage in social comparisons less than collectivists and are more likely to make downward comparisons, and judge themselves favorably as they strive toward personal excellence.

3. See Activity 2.3: Free Association and the Unknown.

D. How Is Discussing Observations and Ideas with Others Useful?

1. Putting things into words increases specificity and deepens awareness of ideas.

2. Discussing with others provides feedback to help compare selfobservations with those of others.

3. Distorted feedback and subsequent distortions in self-concept can occur if feedback is inaccurate, incomplete, or obsolete. This is especially true if it comes from a trusted source.

E. Critical Thinking Question: Consider the feedback you have recently received from others, either in your personal life or at work. Are you aware of any

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III.

distorted or obsolete information that you may not have noticed at the time? If so, do you need to modify your self-concept to compensate for the distortion?

F. What Is the Johari Window?

1. JOHARI WINDOW is a visual representation of the parts of yourself that are known to you and known to others.

2. The Johari Window was named for its creators: Joe Luft and Harry Ingham = Johari. It has four areas. See Figure 2.12: The Johari Window. a. Open area: represents all that you know about yourself that is also known by others. b. Hidden area: represents all that you know about yourself that is private and not known to others. c. Blind area: represents that part of yourself that others can see, but that you are not aware of. d. Unknown area: represents the part of yourself that is hidden from others and also hidden from yourself.

3. Our Johari Window varies from relationship to relationship. a. See Figure 2.13: The Johari Window in a Close Relationship and Figure 2.14: The Johari Window Early in a Relationship. b. The Johari Window also can be used to evaluate awareness of the general degree of openness with people. As relationships develop, the Open area typically grows, and people learn more about themselves by listening to feedback from others. This reduces the size of the Blind area. c. Ignoring or rejecting feedback from others can cause difficulty in reducing one’s blind area. See Activity 2.3: Free Association and the Unknown.

Self-Presentation: How (and How Much) We Show Ourselves to Others A. Preview Questions 1. What is the difference between our public and private selves?

2. What is self-monitoring? In what ways is self-monitoring beneficial, and how can it hinder our relations with others?

B. The Public Self and the Private Self 1. PRIVATE SELF refers to the part of our self that is known only to us.

2. PUBLIC SELF refers to the image we present to the world.

3. See Activity 2.5: Life Stages and the Adults in Your Life to determine the degree to which you engage in self-monitoring.

C. What Is Self-Monitoring?

1. SELF-MONITORING occurs when we utilize different parts of our self, or different public selves, in different situations.

2. High self-monitors adjust to situations more easily and are more socially skilled. They may have less intimate social relationships and in individualistic cultures may judge others more superficially.

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IV.

3. Low self-monitors act in ways more consistent with their true thoughts and are less interested in “fitting in” or presenting the “proper image.”

They may appear insensitive or stubborn.

4. Self-monitoring scores tend to decrease with age.

5. Critical Thinking Question: What reason can you think of that might explain the relationship between age and self-monitoring?

6. Cross culture research indicates differences between individualists and collectivists. Mental processes contribute to differences. a. Individualists are more likely to self-monitor, typically imagine what a prototypical person would ideally do in a situation, and adjust behavior to fit that image. b. Collectivists have context-specific self-concepts and are typically low self-monitors who think about what they usually do in a particular situation and act accordingly.

The Self Throughout Adulthood A. Preview Questions 1. According to Erikson, what three challenges do adults face as they progress through their lives? What is the key to resolving each challenge successfully?

2. What did Levinson’s work contribute to our understanding of adult life stages?

3. How did Sheehy conceptualize adulthood, and what are the stages of adult life in her model?

B. How does life stage affect development in adulthood?

1. Life stage influences behaviors, goals, and reactions to others.

2. Three researchers investigated adult life stages: Erikson, Levinson, and Sheehy.

C. Erikson’s Theory 1. Erikson was the first theorist to span the entire life cycle in the context of eight distinct stages. a. See Figure 2.1: Example of Self-Concept. b. Adulthood was conceptualized as a dynamic period full of change that was grounded in conflict. c. Development involves facing a particular crisis. If crisis is met, the next stage could be mastered more successfully. d. Critics suggest that Erikson’s theory is based solely on clinical observations.

2. Stage One of Adult Development: Intimacy vs. Isolation a. INTIMACY VS. ISOLATION: Erikson’s first stage of adult development, which is to establish and maintain an intimate relationship with a life partner. b. This stage is preceded by the challenges of adolescence, primarily establishing an identity. IDENTITY is the unique sense of self which requires individuating from the family.

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c. Intimacy vs. isolation requires both physical and emotional closeness and honesty and trust.

3. Stage Two of Adult Development: Generativity vs. Stagnation a. GENERATIVITY VS. STAGNATION: Erikson’s second stage of adult development, which is to nurture the next generation, or to raise children in a way that helps them master their environments and establish their own identities. b. This stage follows naturally from the preceding and involves caring for younger ones in some way. c. Adults who do not contribute to the next generation experience frustration and a lack of fulfillment.

4. Stage Three of Adult Development: Integrity vs. Despair a. INTEGRITY VS. DESPAIR: Erikson’s third stage of adult development, which is the challenge of looking back on one’s life and feeling a sense of satisfaction at a life well-lived. b. People who feel integrity are confident that choices throughout life were consistent with their identity and values. Despair emerges if a person reflects back and sees their life as a series of missed opportunities.

D. Levinson’s Theory 1. Levinson and colleagues conducted the first empirical research in the area of men’s adult development (see The Seasons of a Man’s Life, 1978) and concluded that a man’s life was comprised of stable periods interspersed with transitional periods. This theory is grounded in conflict or crisis and limited by its small, exclusively male sample.

2. In the transitional period, men contemplated recent stable periods, explored what should come next, and prepared to move ahead. a. EARLY ADULT TRANSITION: According to Levinson, completion of the major task of adolescence—forming an identity—and working toward becoming an independent, selfreliant person. This transition is complete when a man commits himself to a place in the world (e.g., job, life partner), usually in the early 20s with seven to eight years of relative stability. b. AGE 30 TRANSTION: According to Levinson, a period of four to five years when a man questions the choices he has made so far, considering what modifications he might make to build a more stable and fulfilled life. This period lasts four to five years and is followed by another stable period wherein a man settles down and strengthens the commitments he has made. c. MIDLIFE TRANSITION is a period of reflection and questioning regarding the life choices made so far. In addition to the questioning, there is an increased awareness of mortality and a sense of urgency as life dreams are compared with accomplishments.

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E. Sheehy’s Theory 1. Overview a. Sheehy’s theory recognizes the role of age in life stages, but posits that cultural and societal environment interacts with age to produce unique goals and interests for different cohorts at the same chronological age. b. COHORT is a group of people born about the same time in history, so they share common experiences in society at about the same time and age.

1) “The playing field is quite different for each generation when its young members start their journey into adulthood.”

2) Proliferation of technology, relative peace, and advances in medicine has produced revolutionary changes in the adult life cycle. c. Critical Thinking Question: Think about your own generation as a cohort. What cultural or societal events or conditions have been influential in your overall worldviews, beliefs, and ideals as a cohort? What is your prediction about how these forces will influence the choices and directions your cohort makes as you collectively progress through your lifespan?

2. Sheehy’s Stages. See Table 2.3 (Sheehy’s Life Stages). a. Early/First Adulthood 1) TRYOUT TWENTIES are characterized by a feeling of freedom to “try out” different roles in life, both occupationally and in close relationships and termed “Provisional Adulthood.” Young adults recognize there are many choices and many dangers in life which may result in less secure feelings about the future. There is a heightened awareness of AIDS, environmental issues, and interracial violence.

2) TURBULENT THIRTIES are characterized by a time in which young adults are juggling multiple roles, often including raising children, building a career, and maintaining an intimate relationship with a partner and termed “First Adulthood.” Young adults may be tempted by materialism and, more than any other period, are responsible for successfully managing multiple roles.

3) FLOURISHING FORTIES are characterized by the recognition that 40 doesn’t feel old, which prompts middlescence. These young adults resist the notion that they are aging and at the end of the period they slowly begin to realize their mortality, prompting a reassessment of lived lives.

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4) MIDDLESCENCE is a time of reflection on life so far and reassessment of goals, values, and identity and signals the transition from First Adulthood to Second Adulthood.

Giving up dreams may provoke a meaning crisis in which adults are forced to reassess achieved and hoped for accomplishments. b. Middle/Second Adulthood 1) AGE OF MASTERY is characterized by renewed vigor and purpose from about ages 45-65. New goals revolve around missing parts of previous life or “finding the passion and pursuing it”.

2) FLAMING FIFTIES is characterized by a time to build on and enjoy pursuit of the new goals set during middlescence. Women often experience a growth in selfconfidence, while men may feel less supported. Negativity is overcome with new optimism for the future and changing the focus from competing to connecting.

3) Critical Thinking Question: As you read about these stages of Sheehy’s model, do you notice any similarities to Levinson’s model? Explain.

4) SERENE SIXTIES are characterized by a sense of inner harmony, usually a result of living in a manner consistent with one’s ideal self. This group of adults feels younger, experiences greater physical and economic well-being, and seeks out restorative or healing experiences. Sheehy calls this the Age of Integrity. c. Late Adulthood 1) SAGE SEVENTIES include successful 70-somethings who stay mentally and physically in shape and continue to find missions in life. Early life experiences included a series of missions, and this mind set continues.

2) ELEGANT EIGHTIES are characterized by direct expression of thoughts, opinions, and feelings as if there is no reason to hold back.

3) NOBLE NINETIES are seen as a time of generosity of mind and spirit and the ability to forgive.

4) CELEBRATORY CENTENARIANS are typically mentally active and engaged in life, optimistic, and have a good sense of humor. Sheehy contends that life for these adults seems to have been a great adventure.

F. See Activity 2.5: Life Stages and the Adults in Your Life to review which life stage theory best explains four adults in your life.

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Preview Questions The First Steps: Defining and Understanding the Self 1. What is our self-concept, and what purpose does it serve? How is it influenced by culture?

2. What is self-esteem, and what are its functions?

3. How does self-esteem develop, and to what extent does it change over time? How powerful is it?

4. What is self-efficacy, and what benefits does it provide?

Developing Self-Knowledge 1. What is self-knowledge, and how is it important?

2. Describe four ways self-knowledge can be improved. Give an example of each.

Self-Presentation: How (And How Much) We Show Ourselves to Others 1. What is the difference between our public and private selves?

2. What is self-monitoring? In what ways is self-monitoring beneficial, and how can it hinder our relations with others?

The Self Throughout Adulthood 1. According to Erikson, what three challenges do adults face as they progress through their lives? What is the key to resolving each challenge successfully?

2. What did Levinson’s work contribute to our understanding of adult life stages?

3. How did Sheehy conceptualize adulthood, and what are the stages of adult life in her model?

Critical Thinking Questions The First Steps: Defining and Understanding Self 1. What are some of your possible selves? Identify at least one positive possible self and one negative possible self. How do these possible selves influence your behavior?

2. Think about your most important relationships and how well they are currently functioning. If they are functioning well, is your self-esteem also fairly positive? If they are experiencing difficulties, have you noticed your self-esteem being negatively affected? Overall, does the sociometer theory seem to explain your current level of self-esteem?

3. Can you recall a specific time when you thought someone was giving you feedback that was overly positive, possibly in an attempt to make you feel better about yourself? How effective was it? Did it actually boost your self-esteem? If not, what effect did it have?

4. Identify at least one area in which you have high self-efficacy and another in which you have lower self-efficacy. What is one specific thing you could do to improve your self-efficacy in your low area?

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Developing Self-Knowledge 1. Consider the feedback you have recently received from others, either in your personal life or at work. Are you aware of any distorted or obsolete information that you may not have noticed at the time? If so, do you need to modify your self-concept to compensate for the distortion?

Self-Preservation: How (And How Much) We Show Ourselves to Others 1. What reasons can you think of that might explain the relationship between age and self-monitoring?

The Self Throughout Adulthood 1. What ways can you think of for an adult without children to make positive contributions to the next generation?

2. Think about your own generation as a cohort. What cultural or societal events or conditions have been influential in your overall worldviews, beliefs, and ideals as a cohort? What is your prediction about how these forces will influence the choices and direction your cohort makes as you collectively progress through your lifespan?

3. As you read about these stages of Sheehy’s model, do you notice any similarities to Levinson’s model? Explain.

Class Activities Understanding the Relationship Between Self-Esteem, Self-Concept, and Self-Efficacy (Handout 2.7) Early studies by Bandura and colleagues focused on self-efficacy in the therapeutic contexts, such as investigating training methods to enhance patient self-efficacy and coping (Bandura & Adams, 1977). In the 1980s, self-efficacy pertaining to academic performance began to be investigated.

• Ask students to review the information on self-esteem and self-concept. Hamilton contends that self-efficacy is the intersection between these two concepts.

• Using this information as a base, assign a 2-4 page paper on the relationship between self-efficacy and school performance. The paper should include a minimum of four current references (no citations earlier than 2000) from referred journals.

• Paper guidelines o Introduction: Statement of the purpose of the paper and identification of the specific topic chosen to address should be included in this section. o Body: Two to four sections should clearly define and separate main points presented. o Conclusion: A summary should highlight the key points and present a conclusion. o References: All sources should be referenced in the body of the paper and in a separate section at the end of the paper. Specify the writing style used by your department, college, or profession.

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•

Assign students to small groups to share their papers and answer the following questions: o How were self-esteem, self-concept, and self-efficacy defined? Did everyone define these in the same way? If not, how did the definitions differ? o What specific topics were addressed by each member of the group? o What did individual members of the group find about self-efficacy? Were all the findings the same? If so, explain the similarities. If not, how did the findings differ? o What resources were used to support the paper? o Ask students to decide, as a group, the three most important points discovered about self-efficacy. These may be recorded and presented to the larger class.

A Chip Off the Old Block (Handout 2.7) A quick, entertaining, and enlightening activity for helping students reflect on self-concept can be undertaken by asking the class to collect a rock (or pebble) that best represents them.

Chuckles often result when students are asked to assemble their group rock portraits.

• Set the ground rules for exercise by determining what kind, size (e.g., pebble vs. boulder), and general condition of the materials to be collected.

• Ask students to think about the kind of rock they will need to find to best representation of themselves in a group portrait. When they come to class, instruct students to write a description of themselves as represented by the rock or pebble they found. Their description should be short, concise, and written on a small index card.

• In small groups, provide students with adhesive to assemble their rock portraits and display their descriptions. Before the rocks are grouped together, individual rocks should be numbered or lettered, but no names should be used.

• After all groups are finished (and you can expect lots of jokes and giggling), provide a sheet of lined paper for every member in the class. Allow class members to inspect each assembled group portrait and try to identify the class members in each group. In addition to indicating their guess for which numbered rock or pebble represents a classmate, you can also ask them to provide a rationale for their choice.

• At the end of the exercise, provide the correct identification within each group and award a small prize to the student or students who correctly identify the most classmates.

• End the activity with a discussion about how students see themselves and how they are seen by others.

Class Activities Within the Text Activity 2.1: The Twenty Statements Test Before beginning the chapter, students are asked to complete 20 questions to assess their sense of self. Handout 2.1 is a hard copy of the form.

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Activity 2.2: Self-Esteem and Its Influence on Your Relationships This activity is designed to help students reflect on self-esteem and the factors that help to develop it.

Activity 2.3: Free Association and the Unknown • Part 1 of this exercise asks students to free associate with a list of 18 words. Handout 2.4/Part 1 is a hard copy of the form.

• Part 2 of this activity helps students to identify themes within their associations and to share with a classmate if their comfort level permits. Handout 2.4/Part 2 is a hard copy of the form.

• Part 3 of the Free Association and the Unknown exercise is used to help students identify and list feelings and thoughts about any new self-discoveries made during the exercise. Handout 2.4/Part 3 contains a hard copy of the form.

Activity 2.4: Self-Monitoring Questionnaire This activity is designed to help students identify specific behaviors related directly to physical demeanor and to reflect on these as they relate to self-monitoring. Handout 2.5 is a hard copy of this form.

Activity 2.5: Life Stages and the Adults in Your Life Students are asked to identify four adults of different ages and determine what life stage each is in. Handout 2.6 is a hard copy of the form.

Handouts Handout 2.1 (Activity 2.1) The Twenty Statements Test Handout 2.2 Ego Boosters and Ego Busters in Your Life Handout 2.3 Improving Self-Knowledge through Social Comparison Handout 2.4 (Activity 2.3) Free Association and the Unknown Handout 2.5 (Activity 2.4) True/False Exercise Handout 2.6 (Activity 2.5) Life Stages and the Adults in Your Life Handout 2.7 Understanding the Relationship Between Self-Esteem, Self-Concept, and SelfEfficacy Handout 2.8 A Chip Off the Old Block NAME:______________________________ DATE:__________________________

HANDOUT 2.1: THE TWENTY STATEMENTS TEST Instructions: Use 20 different words or phrases to complete the statement “I am ______.” If you get stuck, consider your physical traits, personality characteristics, relationships, social roles, jobs, hobbies, values, strengths, and weaknesses.

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REFLECTIONS A. How difficult was it to fill in all 20 spaces? At what point did you start to have trouble? __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ B. Randomly choose three numbers between 1 and 20. ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ C. Now, cross off the words on your list that correspond to the numbers you randomly chose, and imagine that you do not possess those qualities. Imagine how that might come about, and how it would affect you. __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________

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Critical Thinking—What If YOU Weren’t YOU Anymore?

Now, cross off the words on your list that correspond to the numbers you randomly chose, and imagine that you do not possess those qualities. Imagine how that might come about, and how it would affect you. What are your thoughts and reactions? ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ NAME: ___________________________________ DATE:____________________

HANDOUT 2.2: EGO BOOSTERS AND EGO BUSTERS IN YOUR LIFE PART 1: INTROSPECTION A. Think of a recent “ego boosting” message you received from someone you love or respect.

What was it? How and why did it affect your self-esteem? Do you think the other person was aware of its effect on you? ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ B. Think of a recent “ego busting” message you received from someone you love or respect.

What was it? How and why did it affect your self-esteem? Do you think the other person was aware of its effect on you? ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ PART 2: INTERVIEW AND ANALYZE A. Talk to a close friend, work colleague, or loved one and ask him or her to tell you of a recent “ego booster” message he or she received from you. In the following space, summarize the message. Then, consider whether you gave the message deliberately. Were you aware of its effects on the other person? How do you feel now that you know the effects? ___________________________________________________________________

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___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ B. Talk to a close friend, work colleague, or loved one and ask him or her to tell you of a recent “ego buster” message he or she received from you. In the following space, summarize it.

Then, consider whether you gave the message deliberately. Were you aware of its effects on the other person? How do you feel now that you know the effects? ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ PART 3: FUTURE APPLICATIONS In the following space, reflect on what you have learned from this activity. In the future, what, if any, changes will you make in your human relations based on what you have learned in this activity? ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ Source: Adapted from Adler & Towne, 1996.

NAME:________________________________ DATE:_______________________

HANDOUT 2.3: IMPROVING SELF-KNOWLEDGE THROUGH SOCIAL COMPARISON GOAL: To consider the accuracy of your self-concept by comparing yourself to similar others in terms of each descriptor.

PART 1: YOUR SELF-CONCEPT Begin by referring back to Activity 2.1 and identifying the five most important aspects of your self-concept. Write them here.

1. ___________________________________________________________________ 2. ___________________________________________________________________ 3. ___________________________________________________________________ 4. ___________________________________________________________________ 5. ___________________________________________________________________

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PART 2: SOCIAL COMPARISON In the first blank space of each item, write in the word you chose in part 1 that corresponds to each number. For example, in part 1, if you chose the word “athletic” for the first word of your self-concept, write that word in comparison 1. Then go on to test out the accuracy of each aspect of your self-concept by comparing yourself to other people you know well: the second blank space of each item should name the person to whom you are comparing yourself, and the third blank space should describe what you notice in that comparison.

1. I think that I am _______________________________. As I compare myself to ___________________ on this characteristic, I notice ______________________ _____________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________.

Based on this comparison, I can conclude that my self-awareness in terms of this characteristic is as accurate/not as accurate (circle one) as I thought it was.

2. I think that I am _______________________________. As I compare myself to _______________ on this characteristic, I notice ___________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ Based on this comparison, I can conclude that my self-awareness in terms of this characteristic is as accurate/not as accurate (circle one) as I thought it was.

3. I think that I am _______________________________. As I compare myself to ____________________ on this characteristic, I notice ______________________ _____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________.

Based on this comparison, I can conclude that my self-awareness in terms of this characteristic is as accurate/not as accurate (circle one) as I thought it was.

4. I think that I am _______________________________. As I compare myself to __________________ on this characteristic, I notice _______________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________.

Based on this comparison, I can conclude that my self-awareness in terms of this characteristic is as accurate/not as accurate (circle one) as I thought it was.

5. I think that I am _______________________________. As I compare myself to ___________________ on this characteristic, I notice _____________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________.

Based on this comparison, I can conclude that my self-awareness in terms of this characteristic is as accurate/not as accurate (circle one) as I thought it was.

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PART 3: CONCLUSIONS In the following space, write your reflections on what you have learned about the accuracy of your self-concept. Also, describe one way in which you can use your new insight(s) to improve your relations with others. ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ NAME:_____________________________ DATE:_________________________

HANDOUT 2.4: FREE ASSOCIATION AND THE UNKNOWN Instructions: PART 1: FREE ASSOCIATION Following is a list of 18 words or phrases. As you read each, think about the first word that comes to mind and record it in the space next to the word on your separate activity sheet.

Tool _____________________________ Season of the year _____________ Color ___________________________ Musical instrument ____________ Human __________________________ Weapon _______________________ Food ____________________________ Vacation _______________________ Fruit ____________________________ Legendary figure _______________ God or goddess ___________________ Animal _________________________ Retreat __________________________ Article of clothing ______________ Geographic location _______________ Piece of furniture ______________ Hero or heroine __________________ Protect ________________________ PART 2: INTROSPECTION AND FEEDBACK Consider the words you chose or wrote on your separate activity sheet. What themes are apparent in your responses? Do you notice anything that indicates something about yourself that you weren’t aware of, such as a goal, fear, or value? If you are comfortable showing your responses to others, let someone else (or a few other people) look at your responses, and see if they notice any themes. ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________

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______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ PART 3: CONCLUSIONS Critical Thinking—Reflections on the Free Association Activity In the following space, write the themes that you or others noticed in your responses to the Free Association exercise. Describe your feelings and thoughts about anything new you discovered about yourself by doing this activity. ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ Source: Reaching out: Interpersonal Effectiveness and Self-Actualization, by D.W. Johnson, 1997, Needham Heights, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

NAME:_____________________________ DATE:_________________________ HANDOUT 2.5: TRUE/FALSE EXERCISE Instructions: For each of the following questions, answer True or False.

1. I find it hard to imitate the behavior of other people.

2. At parties and social gatherings, I do not attempt to do or say things that others will like.

3. I can only argue for ideas that I already believe.

4. I can make impromptu speeches even on topics about which I have almost no information.

5. I guess I put on a show to impress or entertain others.

6. I would probably make a good actor.

7. In a group of people, I am rarely the center of attention.

8. In different situations and with different people, I often act like very different persons.

9. I am not particularly good at making other people like me.

10. I’m not always the person I appear to be.

11. I would not change my opinions (or the way I do things) to please someone or win their favor.

12. I have considered being an entertainer.

13. I have never been good at games like charades or improvisational acting.

14. I have trouble changing my behavior to suit different people and different situations.

15. At a party, I let others keep the jokes and stories going.

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16. I feel a bit awkward in company and do not show up quite as well as I should.

17. I can look anyone in the eye and tell a lie with a straight face (if for a right end).

18. I may deceive people by being friendly when I really dislike them.

Scoring: Give yourself 1 point for each True answer you gave for items 4, 5, 6, 8, 10, 12, 17, and 8. Then, give yourself 1 point for each False answer you gave for items 1, 2, 3, 7, 9, 11, 13, 14, 15, and 16. Add up your total number of points. This total represents your self-monitoring score.

The average score for North American college students is between 10 and 11.

My score is _______________.

Source: Snyder and Gangestad (1986). On the nature of self-monitoring: Matters of assessment, matters of validity. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Copyright © 1986 by the American Psychological Association. Reproduced with permission.

NAME:______________________________ DATE:____________________

HANDOUT 2.6: LIFE STAGES AND THE ADULTS IN YOUR LIFE Part One: Instructions Choose three adults in your life who are at least 10 years apart from each other in age (you may include yourself, if you wish). Then consider which life stage theory best explains each adult.

Give some examples to support your ideas and consider the following questions for each person: 1.

What seem to be the main themes in this person’s interests, goals, and behavior at this stage in his or her life? __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________

2.

What life stage theory seems to best fit this person? Give some examples that support your belief. __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________

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Reflecting on My “Self” Self-concept, self-esteem, self-efficacy, social comparison, mindfulness, self-monitoring, stages of adulthood—those are just a few of the many concepts we explored in this chapter. Reflecting on all that you learned, what new idea stands out for you the most? Discuss one particular insight you gained into your relations with others in this chapter, and connect to one of the chapter concepts. ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ NAME;____________________________ DATE:____________________

HANDOUT 2.7: UNDERSTANDING THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN SELF-ESTEEM, SELF-CONCEPT, AND SELF-EFFICACY Early studies by Bandura and colleagues focused on self-efficacy in the therapeutic contexts, such as investigating training methods to enhance patient self-efficacy and coping (Bandura & Adams, 1977). In the 1980s self-efficacy pertaining to academic performance began to be investigated.

• Review the information on self-esteem and self-concept. Hamilton contends that selfefficacy is the intersection between these two concepts.

• Using this information as a base, write a 2-4 page paper on the relationship between selfefficacy and school performance. The paper should include a minimum of four current references (no citations earlier than 2000) from referred journals.

• Paper guidelines o Introduction: Statement of the purpose of the paper and identification of the specific topic chosen to address should be included in this section. o Body: Two to four sections should clearly define and separate main points presented. o Conclusion: A summary should highlight the key points and present a conclusion. o References: All sources should be referenced in the body of the paper and in a separate section at the end of the paper. Specify the writing style used by your department, college, or profession.

• In small groups, share your paper and answer the following questions:

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o How were self-esteem, self-concept, and self-efficacy defined? Did everyone define these in the same way? If not, how did the definitions differ? o What specific topics were addressed by each member of the group? o What did individual members of the group find about self-efficacy? Were all the findings the same? If so, explain the similarities. If not, how did the findings differ? o What resources were used to support the paper? o Decide, as a group, the three most important points discovered about self-efficacy.

These may be recorded and presented to the larger class.

NAME:_______________________________ DATE:________________________

HANDOUT 2.8: A CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK In this assignment, you will be working in small groups to create a group portrait of yourselves.

• With your group, go for a short walk and find a small pebble or rock that looks like you.

• Think about the kind of rock you each will need to find to best represent everyone in a group portrait.

• Bring your pebbles back and write a description of yourself as represented by the rock or pebble you found. Your description should be short, concise, and written on a small index card.

• In small groups, provide students with adhesive to assemble their rock portraits and display their descriptions. Before the rocks are grouped together, individual rocks should be numbered or lettered, but no names should be used.

• After all groups are finished, each portrait will be displayed.

• There will be a contest to see who can correctly identify the most groups and group members.

• Briefly discuss one thing you learned about yourself and your classmates by doing this activity.

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Chapter 3: How Personality Influences Human Relations Chapter Overview This chapter discusses how internal forces drive our behavior. The psychodynamic perspective, the behaviorist perspective, and the humanist perspective are discussed in this chapter, as well as the concepts of operant conditioning, positive and negative reinforcement, and punishment.

Social cognitive theory and trait theories are described as well.

Learning Objectives • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Explain how our personality is shaped using the psychodynamic perspective Describe the psychodynamic perspective of unconscious Explain the three forces of personality according to Freud Describe how the three forces of personality interact Give some examples of how defense mechanisms influence our personality Explain how the psychodynamic theory offers insight into Barack Obama’s personality Describe how behavioral psychologists view personality Explain the process and application of classical conditioning Explain how the basic principles of operant conditioning influences behavior Give some examples to illustrate how the principles of behaviorism may have influenced Obama’s personality Describe the contributions of social cognitive theory to the study of personality Determine how observational learning influences our relations with others Explain how cognitive processes influence our behavior Describe the insights into Barack Obama’s personality offered by the social cognitive theory Summarize the humanistic view on personality Explain how Rogers envisioned a healthy personality Analyze how Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs explains a healthy personality Apply humanist theories to better understand others Explain Barack Obama’s personality using humanist theories Explain how personality is shaped using the trait theories Describe the traits of the Big Five theory Discuss how certain personality traits influence relationships Explain the impact of culture on the Big Five personality traits Examine personality traits across the lifespan Describe the traits that explain Barack Obama’s personality Explain how personality theories improve understanding ourselves and others

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Key Terms and Concepts Personality Psychodynamic theory Conscious Unconscious Preconscious Id Ego Superego Defense mechanism Rationalization Regression Sublimation Behaviorist theory Conditioning Classical conditioning Unconditioned response Neutral stimulus Conditioned response Generalization

Extinction Operant conditioning Conscientiousness Agreeableness Reinforcement Negative reinforcement Punishment Observational learning Humanist theory Fully functioning person Self-actualization Maslow’s need hierarchy Personality traits Big five theory Extraversion/introversion Neuroticism Openness to experience

Chapter Outline I.

THE PSYCHODYNAMICPERSPECTIVE A. Preview Questions 1. According to psychodynamic psychologists, what shapes our personality?

2. What are the three forces of personality according to Freud? What role does each force play, and how do they work together?

3. What are the defense mechanisms, and how do they influence our personality?

4. How does the psychodynamic perspective give us insight into our relations with others?

B. Overview 1. Freud was first to formulate a personality theory, known as psychodynamic theory.

2. PSYCHODYNAMIC THEORY suggests that our personality is shaped by an ongoing internal struggle between two or more conflicting needs. a. Struggle exists between three forces: desire to satisfy our most basic needs, need to adhere to society’s laws and rules, and goal of living within one’s own personal moral code. b. Behavior is understood by analysis of the processes by which conflicts are resolved.

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C. The Mind as an Iceberg 1. See Figure 3.1: Freud’s Iceberg Model.

2. Much personality resides in the unconscious. a. CONSCIOUS is the portion of our mind that we are aware of at any given time. b. UNCONSCIOUS is the large portion of our mind including thoughts, feelings, memories, and expectations, which we are not aware of. c. PRECONSCIOUS is the part of the unconscious that can be brought into consciousness by focusing on it.

D. Three Components of Personality 1. See Figure 3.2: Freud’s Components of Personality.

2. ID is the part of the personality concerned with satisfying our basic instincts and urges. It is the most basic element of personality and operates on the pleasure principle.

3. EGO is the part of personality concerned with meeting the needs of the id in a way that is realistic, and fits with the laws or rules of society. It begins to emerge around one year of age, but the id vs. ego struggle continues throughout life and is the foundation of personality according to Freud. The ego is the executive or manager of the personality because it maintains balance among all components.

4. SUPEREGO is the part of personality concerned with making sure the id and the ego function in a way that is consistent with the person’s own moral code. It functions on the reality principle and begins to develop around five years of age when children begin to internalize the concepts of right and wrong for their own sake, rather than for avoidance of punishment.

5. How do these components work together? a. By adulthood, a pattern of responding to conflicting forces is developed.

E. Critical Thinking Question: What suggestions can you make that might help Dave achieve a better balance among elements of his personality? In other words, how could he satisfy his id without going outside of society’s rules or his own moral code?

F. DEFENSE MECHANISMS are strategies over unconscious uses to resolve anxiety. Familiarity with defense mechanisms is an effective tool in understanding the behavior of others. Defense mechanisms include such things as rationalization, repression, displacement, reaction formation, regression and sublimation.

1. RATIONALIZATION involves creation of a rational explanation or justification for our behavior.

2. REPRESSION involves the complete suppression of a feeling that is unacceptable.

3. DISPLACEMENT is the redirection of a negative feeling toward a “safe” target.

4. PROJECTION involves having an unacceptable impulse or thought, but instead of seeing it in ourselves, we think we see it in others.

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II.

5. REACTION FORMATION involves acting in a way that is completely opposite to an unacceptable thought or impulse.

6. REGRESSION involves psychologically retreating to an earlier, less mature time.

7. SUBLIMATION involves channeling an unacceptable feeling or urge into a positive or more socially acceptable direction.

G. Critics suggest that many Freudian tenets cannot be empirically validated.

H. See Activity 3.1: The Id, the Ego, and the Superego in Your Decision Making.

The Behaviorist Perspective A. Preview Questions 1. According to behavioral psychologists, what shapes our personality?

2. What is classical conditioning, and does it affect our behavior and our human relations?

3. What are the basic principles of operant conditioning, and does it influence our behavior and our relations with others? Comparatively, how effective are rewards and punishments in shaping behavior?

4. What is observational learning, and what does it add to our understanding of how we acquire behaviors?

B. True or False: “There is no such thing as an inheritance of capacity tasks, temperament, mental construction, and behavior characteristics” (Watson, 1924).

C. What is behaviorist theory?

1. BEHAVIORIST THEORY suggests that our personality is shaped exclusively by our experiences. a. Personality could only be described through observable behaviors. It is simply the sum total of the reactions a person has learned to exhibit in certain situations. b. People are viewed as “blank slates”→strictly as a result of the environment.

2. If people are “blank slates,” how does learning occur? a. We are what we learn. b. Each behavior develops because of some type of response it produces in the environment. c. This is called CONDITIONING, which is simply defined as learning from our experiences.

D. What Is Classical Conditioning?

1. CLASSICAL CONDITIONING is a type of learning that relies on associating a neutral stimulus with a natural, biological stimulus. a. Two important terms here are neutral and natural. See Figure 3.4: Basic Features of Classical Conditioning. b. Classical conditioning occurs only with involuntary responses. Can you think of several involuntary responses (e.g., blinking, sneezing, yawning, fear)? c. This was the first type of learning studied by psychologists. Remember Pavlov and his salivating dog?

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2. How Does the Classical Conditioning Process Work? a. Basic Terms and Definitions 1) UNCONDITIONED STIMULUS (US) is a stimulus, which produces a natural, biological response with no prior learning.

2) UNCONDITIONED RESPONSE (UR) is a natural, biological response to a stimulus with no prior learning.

3) NEUTRAL STIMULUS (NS) is a stimulus, which is not meaningful.

4) CONDITIONED STIMULUS (CS) is a previously neutral stimulus that has become associated with an unconditioned stimulus.

5) CONDITIONED RESPONSE (CR) is a learned response to conditioned stimulus. b. NS (ask for an example)→paired immediately with US (ask for an example)→pairing happens several times in a row (ask for example to clarify that the concept is understood)→EVENTUALLY→animal/person learns to associate NS with UR→AND→ NS becomes CS and UR becomes CR. What is the changed behavior?

3. How Can Classical Conditioning Be Useful in Human Relations? a. Understanding classical conditioning can aid in understanding surprising, unusual behaviors of others.

4. Critical Thinking Questions: Consider how classical conditioning may have facilitated the development of one of your current relationships, either personally or professionally. Hint: Think about first impressions of people, and how we sometimes meet someone who reminds us of someone else.

5. See Activity 3.2: Classical Conditioning and You to examine how classical conditioning plays a role in your relations with others.

E. What Is Operant Conditioning?

1. OPERANT CONDITIONING is a type of learning based on associating behaviors with the consequences they have previously produced. a. Voluntary behaviors are learned. b. Operant conditioning relies on the LAW OF EFFECT, which includes behaviors followed by positive consequences are more likely to be repeated, and behaviors followed by negative consequences are less likely to be repeated. c. Operant conditioning works on reward and punishment.

2. REINFORCEMENT is a consequence that increases the likelihood of the behavior being repeated. Positive reinforcement = adding something pleasant; negative reinforcement = taking away something unpleasant. a. POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT is a consequence that increases the likelihood of a behavior by adding something pleasant.

1) How does reinforcement affect human relations? i. Identify rewards you receive from your relationships.

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ii. Identify ways in which you reward others.

2) Critical Thinking Question: Identify three aspects of your relationships that have been shaped by positive reinforcement. b. NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT is a consequence that increases the likelihood of a behavior by taking away or avoiding something unpleasant. Negative reinforcement typically strengthens avoidance behavior.

3. PUNISHMENT is anything that decreases the chances of the behavior being repeated. a. Punishment is the most widely used form of behavioral control in Western society (Skinner, 1953). Many psychologists believe punishment may be an effective way to stop a behavior immediately, but it has not been found to be an effective way of changing behavior in the long term. b. Are there any problems with punishment?

1) Punishment doesn’t teach an alternative, more acceptable behavior.

2) Punishment often ends up teaching the person to avoid getting caught rather than eliminating the unwanted behavior.

3) When punishment is physical, it may demonstrate that physical violence is an acceptable means of responding to a disliked behavior. Research over the past 25 years has demonstrated this effect (Bandura and others).

4. See Figure 3.6: Positive Reinforcement, Negative Reinforcement, or Punishment? to determine if a behavior is a result of positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, or punishment.

5. See Activity 3.3: Applying Behaviorism to Your Own Life to explore how operant conditioning plays a role in your own family or work environment.

F. What Is Observational Learning or Social Learning Theory?

1. OBSERVATIONAL LEARNING is the process by which we learn behaviors by watching others engage in them. This is also known as modeling. a. Learning is based on the trial-and-error principles of classical or operant conditioning. Behaviors are learned by watching others engage in them. Efficient interacting with others and the world requires taking many cues or lessons from observing the actions and words of others. b. Critical Thinking Question: Can you think of three behaviors or attitudes you have learned by observation?

2. What individual factors influence our responses? a. Social learning theorists believe that response to stimuli is based on the value or positive meaning and the level of positive expectations about the outcomes.

3. How does social learning theory aid in understanding the behavior of others?

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III.

a. Social learning theorists and behaviorists agree that environment influences behavior. b. Social learning theorists recognize the role in selecting behavior, based on values and expectations of outcomes. c. Social learning theory provides explanations for different responses to the same situations as a result of the influence of role models, personal values, or outcome expectations.

The Humanist Perspective A. Preview Questions 1. According to humanistic psychologists, what shapes our personality?

2. How does Carl Rogers define “fulfilling our potential,” and what environmental factors do we need for this to happen?

3. How does Abraham Maslow define “fulfilling our potential,” and what environmental factors are necessary for this to happen?

4. How does the humanist perspective help us to understand ourselves and others better?

B. What Is Humanist Theory?

1. HUMANIST THEORY suggests we are all born with an innate drive to reach our potential as good, contributing persons to our society. It contrasts sharply with the conflict-driven psychodynamic theory and the environment-driven behaviorist theory.

2. This perspective includes such theories as Carl Roger’s Self Theory and Maslow’s Need Theory.

C. Carl Roger’s Self Theory 1. Fulfillment of potential means becoming a FULLY FUNCTIONING PERSON (one who gets along well with others by offering unconditional positive regard and genuinely caring about them).

2. Self-esteem is essential to growth and fulfillment of one’s potential→positive self-esteem developed through unconditional positive regard. a. Everyone is born with the potential to treat other people with genuine concern and respect. b. If environment is positive, one that fosters self-esteem, people will reach potential and become fully functioning. c. Positive self-esteem = treat others well; negative self-esteem = treat others poorly. d. Negative self-esteem can be reversed by changes in the environment.

3. Critical Thinking Questions: Give some examples of unconditional and/or conditional positive regard that you have received in your life. How did you feel as a result of these messages?

D. What Is Maslow’s Need Hierarchy?

1. Maslow posited that humans are born with an innate drive to maximize potential.

2. Maximizing one’s potential revolves around self-actualization.

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IV.

3. People are challenged by a series of needs as they strive to become selfactualized. These levels of needs form MASLOW’S NEED HIERARCHY, a model which suggests that lower-order needs must be met before we can focus on higher-order needs. a. See Figure 3.10: Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. b. Levels include the following needs: physiological needs, safety needs, belongingness needs, and esteem needs. c. Lower order needs must be fulfilled before higher order needs are addressed.

1) Physiological or biological needs are the most basic needs.

2) Safety needs revolves on keeping people from physical harm.

3) Belongingness needs involve the needs to be connected to others in the social world.

4. Critical Thinking Question: Can you think of a situation in which someone might not be concerned with personal safety because of worry about meeting physiological needs?

5. SELF-ACTUALIZATION occurs when an individual has developed a complete sense of who he or she is, what his or her strengths are, and routinely acts in a way that is consistent with that. a. When lower order needs are met, people then strive toward selfactualization. This varies based on individual values and interests. b. Not everyone becomes self-actualized; some get stalled at the fourth level. There is continual movement up and down the hierarchy throughout life as situations change. c. See Figure 3.11: Characteristics of Self-Actualizing People.

E. Culture and Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs 1. Maslow’s theory is uniquely Western in terms of the hierarchy.

2. Cultural differences were found in relation to culture.

F. Applying the Humanist Theory to Human Relations 1. Humanist theory offers a positive alternative to the psychoanalysts and the deterministic perspective.

2. Humans have an innate tendency to grow in a positive direction and need positive environmental conditions to reach that goal.

3. Humans who act to hurt themselves or others do so because of negative environmental conditions that can be changed.

G. Critical Thinking Questions: Humanist theories are appealing to many people because they seem logical and easy to relate to in our own lives. What examples can you think of from your own life that can be explained by one or both of the humanist theories? Can you also think of some examples of situations or people you have heard of that don’t fit one of the humanist theories?

Trait Theories A. Preview Questions 1. According to trait theories, what shapes our personality?

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V.

2. How can trait theory help us understand others better and improve our relations?

B. Why Do People Do What They Do? 1. Trait theories are one of the oldest explanations of personality which suggest that behavior can be explained in terms of PERSONALITY TRAITS, which are characteristics that predict a person’s behavior consistently across a wide range of situations.

2. The current predominant trait theory is called The Big Five Trait Theory.

See Figure 3.13: The Big Five Trait Theory for a depiction of the continuum included in the theory.

C. THE BIG FIVE TRAIT THEORY is defined as a theory, which suggests that personality can be measured on five major dimensions. See Goldberg.

1. EXTRAVERSION/INTROVERSION is a personality trait based on a person’s preference for social or contemplative environments.

2. NEUROTICISM/EMOTIONAL STABILITY is a personality trait characterized by anxiety, nervousness, self-consciousness, and moodiness.

3. LOW OPENNESS/HIGH OPENNESS is a personality trait characterized by originality, imagination, independence, curiosity, and broadmindedness.

4. LOW CONSCIENTIOUSNESS/HIGH CONSCIENTIOUSNESS is a personality trait characterized by dependability, efficiency, persistence, and a strong sense of order.

5. LOW AGREEABLENESS/HIGH AGREEABLENESS is a personality trait, which includes behaviors such as kind, sincere, courteous, helpful, patient, honest, and cooperative.

D. Critical Thinking Questions: Think of someone you know well and guess how high that person might score on each of the five traits. How does this information help you predict how the person might react in a particular situation?

Personality Theories: The Big Picture A. Is there one “right” theory?

1. There are advantages in having multiple theories, rather than one, to understanding human nature and human relations.

2. Humans are a broad group of people; understanding their behavior is a complex, challenging task.

3. The key to understanding human nature begins with understanding of each of the major theories of personalities.

Preview Questions The Psychodynamic Perspective 1. According to psychodynamic psychologists, what shapes our personality?

2. What are the three forces of personality according to Freud? What role does each force play, and how do they work together?

3. What are defense mechanisms, and how do they influence our personality?

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4. How does the psychodynamic perspective give us insight into our relations with others?

The Behaviorist Perspective 1. According to behavioral psychologists, what shapes our personality?

2. What is classical conditioning, and how does it affect our behavior and our human relations?

3. What are the basic principles of operant conditioning, and how does it influence our behavior and our relations with others? Comparatively, how effective are rewards and punishments in shaping behavior?

4. What is observational learning, and what does it add to our understanding of how we acquire behavior?

The Humanist Perspective 1. According to humanistic psychologists, what shapes our personality?

2. How does Carl Rogers define “fulfilling our potential,” and what environmental factors do we need for this to happen?

3. How does Abraham Maslow define “fulfilling our potential,” and what environmental factors are necessary for this to happen?

4. How does the humanist perspective help us understand ourselves and others better?

The Trait Theories 1. According to trait theorists, what shapes our personality?

2. How can trait theory help us understand others better and improve our relations?

Critical Thinking Questions How the Components Work Together 1. What suggestions can you make that might help Dave achieve a better balance among the three elements of his personality? In other words, how could he satisfy his id without going outside of society’s rules or his own moral code?

Classical Conditioning 1. Consider how classical conditioning may have facilitated the development of one of your current relationships, either personally or professionally. Hint: Think about first impressions of people, and how we sometimes meet someone who reminds us of someone else.

Operant Conditioning 1. Identify three aspects of your relationships that have been shaped by positive reinforcement.

2. What examples can you find in your own life—either at work or at home—of negative reinforcement?

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Observational Learning 1. Can you think of three behaviors or attitudes you have learned by observation?

2. Think of two specific differences we might expect to see in the values of individuals versus collectivists.

The Humanist Perspective 1. Give some examples of unconditional and/or conditional positive regard that you have received in your life. How did you feel as a result of these messages?

2. Can you think of a situation in which someone might not be concerned with personal safety because of worry about meeting physiological needs?

3. Humanist theories are appealing to many people, because they seem logical and easy to relate to our own lives. What examples can you think of from your own life that can be explained by one or both of the humanistic theories?

4. Can you also think of some examples of situations or people you have heard of that don’t fit one of the humanistic theories?

The Big Five Theory 1. Think of someone you know well and guess how high that person might score on each of the five traits. How does this information help you predict how the person might react in a particular situation?

Class Activities ABCs of Theories (Handout 3.8) • Handout 3.8 can be used in several ways. As a pretest, it can be used to help students determine the areas in which they are knowledgeable and the concepts they will need to learn while covering the materials in the chapter.

• As a post-test, the handout can be used as a quiz or formal exam to test student concept knowledge.

• The handout can also be used as a take-home worksheet to help students learn concepts and/or prepare for an exam.

And They Did That Because? (Handout 3.9) In Handout 3.9: And They Did That Because? students are asked to read the scenario presented below, identify and use two theories presented in class to explain the child behaviors within the scenario. Formal and informal theories influence how parents relate to and react to their young children.

You are shopping in a grocery store when you hear a loud scream. As you turn the corner, you witness a parent and a preschool child engaged in a conflict about selection of cereal. The child is screaming loudly and drawing much attraction. The parent is gritting her teeth and talking to the child. You overhear the parent saying, “This is the last time I am going to take you shopping.

You are being very naughty. If you don’t stop screaming RIGHT NOW, I will take you to the car and spank you!” The child screams louder, and the parent picks up the now kicking child, sits her

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in the seat in the front of her shopping cart, and turns away. The child watches the mother for a few seconds, starts to whimper, and says, “I don’t want to go to the car!” several times. Slowly, the child calms herself, and the mother turns back toward the cart and the child.

• • •

•

Identify two theories studied in this chapter that can be used to explain the child’s behavior.

Describe the theories or theoretical principles that you will use to interpret the behavior.

Interpret and explain the behavior according to those theories or principles. o Be sure to explain each theory or principle, not simply label them. o Indicate how well each theory or principle explains the behavior—some may do better than others. o Remember to be specific—for example, if you are talking about behaviorist theory you would need to distinguish between the kind of conditioning you believe is being displayed by the parent and reflected in the child’s behavior.

Identify an alternate way the interaction could be handled using one of the theories/principles theories listed above.

Class Activities Within the Text Activity 3.1: The Id, the Ego, and the Superego in Your Decision Making This activity is designed to help students apply psychodynamic theory to their own lives and their relations with others. Handout 3.1 is a hard copy of the form.

• Part 1: Your Own Decisions Two questions guide students to understand how they and someone close to them are influenced by their ids, egos, and superegos.

• Part 2: Other Decisions That Affect Your Life Three questions direct students to reflect on frustrating choices made by others, the personality forces that drive these choices, and the ways in which understanding the decision-making style of others can help to maintain good relationships.

Activity 3.2: Classical Conditioning and You This activity is designed to help students deepen their understanding of classical conditioning by identifying ways it has affected their own behavior and by analyzing the processes involved.

Handout 3.2 is a hard copy of the form.

Activity 3.3: Applying Behaviorism to Your Own Life This activity asks students to look at their own actions based on the principles of behaviorism.

Activity 3.4: Applying the Trait Perspective In this activity, students are asked to apply the Big Five trait theory to their behavior, as well as to the behavior of people they know.

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Handouts Handout 3.1 (Activity 3.1): Listening to the Forces of Your Personality Handout 3.2 (Activity 3.2): Classical Conditioning and You Handout 3.3: Operant Conditioning in Your Family Relations Handout 3.4: Two Minute Check Handout 3.5: Sharing Two Minute Check Results Handout 3.6 Two Minute Results Checklist Handout 3.7: How Do I Learn?

Handout 3.8: ABCs of Theories Handout 3.9: And They Did That Because?

NAME:________________________________DATE:___________________________

HANDOUT 3.1: LISTENING TO THE FORCES OF YOUR PERSONALITY The Id, the Ego, and the Superego in Decision Making GOAL: To understand how you and someone close to you are influenced by your id, your ego, and your superego in decision making.

PART 1: YOUR OWN DECISIONS 1. Think of a recent decision you made. Write a brief description of it in the following space. ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 2.

As you reflect on that decision, answer the following questions: a. What kind of instant gratification was your id driving you toward? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ b. How did your ego aim to satisfy your id while staying within the laws and rules of society in order to avoid pain or punishment? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ c. What was your superego reminding you of in this situation? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

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d. What did you ultimately decide to do? In thinking about that decision, analyze what force of your personality had the most power and tell how you know it was this force. ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ e. Which (if any) defense mechanisms helped resolve your anxiety in this situation? Explain your answer. ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 3.

In general, what force of your personality most often rules your decisions? How well does that work for you? What is one adjustment you’d like to make to improve the outcome of your decisions and achieve a better-balanced personality? __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________

PART 2: UNCONSCIOUS MOTIVATORS IN YOUR LIFE 4. Reflect on the power of our unconscious, according to the psychodynamic theorists. As you consider your own life and your own history, can you become aware of any fears, wishes, or desires that might be unconsciously motivating your behavior? To the extent you are comfortable, elaborate on your thoughts.

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________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ PART 3: OTHER DECISIONS THAT AFFECT YOUR LIFE 5. Think of someone close to you who sometimes makes choices that frustrate or anger you.

Give an example of one of those choices. ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 6.

Using your new knowledge of Freud’s personality theory, analyze your friend’s decision by considering what personality force seemed to be driving that decision, and why. ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

7.

How can your new understanding of your friend’s decision-making style help you in maintaining a good relationship with him or her? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

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NAME:_____________________________________DATE:______________________

HANDOUT 3.2: CLASSICAL CONDITIONING AND YOU GOAL: To deepen your understanding of classical conditioning by identifying ways it has affected your own behavior and relationships, and analyzing the process involved. See Figure 3.4 to review your knowledge of classical conditioning.

1.

Think of a behavior or reaction you have in a particular relationship that you have learned through classical conditioning. (Remember, for the behavior or reaction to fit the classical conditioning model, it must be involuntary and based on an instinctive response.) Write the behavior in the following space. ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

2.

Now, test your idea by identifying the various stimuli and responses involved in your learned behavior. Use the diagram in Figure 3.4 to refresh your memory about the process of classical conditioning, and sketch a similar diagram in the space below that shows the following: •

How your behavior began with an unconditioned (instinctive) response to an unconditioned stimulus.

• What neutral stimulus began to become associated with the unconditioned stimulus.

• How the neutral stimulus became the conditioned stimulus when it began producing the conditioned response when the original (unconditioned) stimulus was not present. ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

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________________________________________________________________________ 3.

Has your behavior become generalized to any other stimuli? Explain. ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

4.

If you wanted to eliminate your behavior, how could you accomplish that? List the steps that would be involved. ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

NAME:_______________________________________DATE:____________________

HANDOUT 3.3: OPERANT CONDITIONING IN YOUR FAMILY RELATIONS Summary Application Paper •

•

For this activity, you will consider the many ways that operant conditioning has played, and continues to play, a role in your family relations. The best way to do this is to write a summary application paper. The first part of your paper should summarize the main concepts involved in operant conditioning. Use the relevant terms, but explain them in your own words, as you would explain them to someone who doesn’t know what they mean. Be sure your summary also includes a description of how the various concepts involved in operant conditioning work together in changing behavior.

In the second part of your paper, apply the information you summarized to your own family’s behavior (alternatively, you can apply it to people in your work environment or your circle of friends). Give examples that show how the various principles of operant conditioning are illustrated in the behavior of the people you are discussing. Be sure to include at least one example of positive reinforcement, one example of negative reinforcement, and one example of punishment. Finally, analyze the effectiveness of the

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•

behaviors you have been discussing. In other words, do these behaviors contribute to the healthy functioning of your family (or work or friendships), or detract from it? Make some suggestions of how you could use operant conditioning principles to improve the functioning of these relationships.

Your paper should be about three pages (typed, double-spaced).

NAME:_________________________________DATE:__________________________

HANDOUT 3.4: TWO MINUTE CHECK Please take two minutes to answer the following questions about the chapter we are beginning.

•

List two things you already know about the personality and human relations.

1. ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 2.

________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

•

List two things you would like to learn about personality as we cover material in this chapter. Please be specific.

1.

________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

2.

________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

NAME:_________________________________DATE:__________________________

HANDOUT 3.5: SHARING TWO MINUTE CHECK RESULTS Thank you for sharing your ideas in the two minute check we did this week.

• •

Here are some things you already know about personality and human relations.

Here are some things you reported you would like to learn about personality and other things in this chapter.

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NAME:_________________________________DATE:__________________________

HANDOUT 3.6: TWO MINUTE CHECK RESULTS CHECKLIST Chapter:___________________________________________________ Topic

Date Covered

□ Personality and conflict □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □

12/3/16

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NAME:__________________________________DATE:_________________________

HANDOUT 3.7: HOW DO I LEARN? This assignment is designed to guide you toward a clearer understanding of your own behavior and mental processes. You are asked to develop your personal theory of learning. Your project is intended to provide you with a framework for helping you explore the causes and correlates of your behavior in the classroom.

Written Assignment • •

•

In this assignment, you are being asked to develop your own theory about how you learn.

Use yourself (i.e., your behaviors and mental processes) as the primary example for your theory, focusing on your experiences in school.

To develop your personal theory, select three theoretical perspectives presented in this chapter. o Name the theory, the primary theorists, and the general principles related to learning from each of the three theories you have selected. o Give specific examples of how each of the theories can be seen in your own learning and classroom experiences. o Conclude your paper with a paragraph that integrates your three choices into a final statement about how you learn.

Your paper should be written in a clear, concise manner and no longer than two pages in length. Be sure to document all references to theories and the theories you use in this assignment.

Feedback •

Your work will be evaluated on the inclusion of three theories, examples for each theory related to their student experiences, and the integration of selected theories into a cohesive, concluding statement about learning.

NAME:__________________________________DATE:_______________________

HANDOUT 3.8: ABCs OF THEORIES We all have theories about how people grow and develop. Some of our theories are simple and others are complicated. Yet, in general, these personal theories are built on unverified observations that are developed in informal ways. The major theoretical perspectives presented in the class contain established and experimentally verified facts or collection of facts about the human development.

See how well you know concepts related to the theories presented in the chapter by matching the following terms to their descriptions.

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A. Psychodynamic theory D. Preconscious G. Superego J. Repression M. Reaction formation P. Behaviorist theory S. Unconditioned stimulus V. Conditioned stimulus Y. Generalization BB. Spontaneous recovery EE. Reinforcement HH. Observational learning

B. Conscious E. Id H. Defense mechanisms K. Displacement N. Regression Q. Conditioning T. Unconditioned response W. Personality Z. Phobias CC. Operant conditioning FF. Positive reinforcement II. Humanist theory

KK. Self-actualization NN. Big Five Theory QQ. Openness to experience TT. Negative reinforcement

LL. Maslow’s need hierarchy OO. Extraversion/introversion RR. Conscientiousness

C. Unconscious F. Ego I. Rationalization L. Projection O. Sublimation R. Classical conditioning U. Neutral stimulus X. Conditioned response AA. Extinction DD. Law of effect GG. Punishment JJ. Fully functioning person MM. Personality Traits PP. Neuroticism SS. Agreeableness

Place the correct letter in the space before each theory description: 1) ____: The unique pattern of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in an individual that is consistent over time and across situations.

2) ____: A personality trait that includes behaviors such as kind, sincere, courteous, helpful, patient, honest, and cooperative.

3) ____: When an individual has developed a complete sense of who he or she is and what his or her strengths are, and routinely acts in a way that is consistent with that.

4) ____: The theory which suggests we are all born with an innate drive to reach our potential as good, contributing persons to our society.

5) ____: Behaviors followed by positive consequences are more likely to be repeated, and behaviors followed by negative consequences are less likely to be repeated.

6) ____: The phase of classical conditioning that involves eliminating the conditioned response.

7) ____: Strategies our unconscious uses to resolve anxiety.

8) ____: Having an unacceptable impulse or thought, but instead of seeing it in ourselves, we think we see it in others.

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9) ____: The part of personality concerned with making sure the id and the ego function in a way that is consistent with the person’s own moral code.

10) ____: The theory that suggests our personality is shaped by an ongoing internal struggle between two or more conflicting needs.

11) ____: The portion of our mind that we are aware of at any given time.

12) ____: The part of personality concerned with satisfying our basic instincts and urges.

13) ____: Creating a rational explanation or justification for our behavior.

14) ____: The theory that suggests our personality is shaped exclusively by our experiences.

15) ____: Completely suppressing a feeling which is unacceptable.

16) ____: A natural, biological response with no prior learning.

17) ____: A learned response to conditioned stimulus.

18) ____: Learning for our experiences.

19) ____: Occasional, unpredictable recurrence of a conditioned response that has become extinct.

20) ____: A consequence that increases the likelihood of a behavior by adding something pleasant.

21) ____: Anything that decreases the chances of the behavior being repeated.

22) ____: The process by which we learn behaviors by watching others engage in them. Also known as modeling.

23) ____: A model that suggests lower-order needs must be met before we can focus on higherorder needs.

24) ____: A theory that suggests personality can be measured on five major dimensions.

25) ____: A personality trait characterized by originality, imagination, independence, curiosity, and broadmindedness.

26) ____: A personality trait characterized by anxiety, nervousness, self-consciousness, and moodiness.

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27) ____: The large portion of our mind including thoughts, feelings, memories, and expectations that we are not aware of.

28) ____: The part of the unconscious that can be brought into consciousness by focusing on it.

29) ____: Redirecting a negative feeling toward a “safe” target.

30) ____: Psychologically retreating to an earlier, less mature time.

31) ____: A stimulus which is not meaningful.

32) ____: A type of learning that relies on associating a neutral stimulus with a natural, biological stimulus.

33) ____: Irrational fears.

34) ____: A type of learning based on associating behaviors with the consequences they have previously produced.

35) ____: One who gets along well with others by offering unconditional positive regard and genuinely caring about them.

36) ____: Characteristics that predict a person’s behavior consistently across a wide range of situations.

37) ____: A personality trait characterized by dependability, efficiency, persistence, and a strong sense of order.

38) ____: The part of personality concerned with meeting the needs of the id in a way that is realistic, and fits within the laws of society.

39) ____: Acting in a way that is completely opposite to an unacceptable thought or impulse.

40) ____: A previously neutral stimulus that has become associated with an unconditioned stimulus.

41) ____: When a conditioned response occurs upon exposure to a stimulus that is similar to the original conditioned stimulus.

42) ____: A consequence that increases the likelihood of the behavior being repeated.

43) ____: A personality trait based on a person’s preferences for social or contemplative environments.

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44) ____: Channeling an unacceptable feeling or urge into a positive, or more socially acceptable direction.

45) ____: A stimulus that produces a natural, biological response with no prior learning.

46) ____: A consequence that increases the likelihood of a behavior by taking away or avoiding something unpleasant.

NAME:____________________________________DATE:_______________________

HANDOUT 3.9: AND THEY DID THAT BECAUSE? Many adult behaviors have their beginnings during childhood. Formal and informal theories influence how parents relate and react to their young children.

You are shopping in a grocery store when you hear a loud scream. As you turn the corner, you witness a parent and a preschool child engaged in a conflict about selection of cereal. The child is screaming loudly and drawing much attraction. The parent is gritting her teeth and talking to the child. You overhear the parent saying, “This is the last time I am going to take you shopping.

You are being very naughty. If you don’t stop screaming RIGHT NOW, I will take you to the car and spank you!” The child screams louder, and the parent picks up the now kicking child, sits her in the seat in the front of her shopping cart, and turns away. The child watches the mother for a few seconds, starts to whimper, and says, “I don’t want to go to the car!” several times. Slowly, the child calms herself, and the mother turns back toward the cart and the child.

•

Identify two theories studied in this chapter that can be used to explain the child’s behavior.

Theory 1.

__________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________

2.

__________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________

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•

Describe the theories or theoretical principles that you will use to interpret the behavior.

Principle 1.

__________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________

2.

__________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________

•

Interpret and explain the behavior according to those theories or principles. o Be sure to explain each theory or principle, not simply label them. o Indicate how well each theory or principle explains the behavior—some may do better than others. o Remember to be specific—for example, if you are talking about behaviorist theory, you would need to distinguish between the kind of conditioning you believe is being displayed by the parent and reflected in the child’s behavior.

Interpretation 1.

__________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________

2.

__________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________

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__________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ •

Briefly describe an alternative way the parent could have handled the situation using principles from one of the theories/principles you have presented above. __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________

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Chapter 4: Emotions, Stress, and Human Relations Chapter Overview This chapter describes the various factors that influence our emotions. As the chapter explores each topic, it connects back to the story of a young married couple, Mark and Sonja, illustrating how each concept relates to their situation to give a concrete example of how you can apply what you’re learning to your own relationships.

Learning Objectives • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Compare the traditional view of emotions with current perspectives Describe how the rapid and unconscious process of thought influences emotions Determine how irrational beliefs interfere with our relationships Explain how irrational beliefs affected the story of Sonja and Mark Describe an effective process to overcome irrational beliefs Describe how basic emotions influence your interpersonal relations Determine ways in which biology influences emotions Determine how to distinguish sadness from depression and which treatments can help Distinguish between constructive, destructive, direct, and indirect ways of handling anger Describe strategies to increase happiness and well-being Determine how culture influences emotional expression Identify the five contributors to emotional intelligence Explain how self-awareness improves our relations with others Summarize how the marshmallow test illustrates the importance of regulating emotions Determine which characteristics help people persist when facing challenges Describe the importance and basic elements of empathy Explain how social competencies improve emotional intelligence Discuss how stress influences our relations with others Explain how the GAS operates in our response to stressors Determine strategies to moderate the stress response Describe effective coping strategies for managing stress Explain how positive lifestyle choices offer a two-for-one benefit when dealing with stress

Key Terms and Concepts Self-awareness Regulating emotions Persistence Empathy

Stress Control Optimism Hardiness

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General adaptation syndrome Acute stress Chronic stress Alarm phase Resistance phase Exhaustion phase Stressors

Problem-focused coping Emotion-focused coping Social support Downward comparisons Situational reconstruction Focusing Compensatory self-improvement

Chapter Outline I. The Study of Emotion A. Preview Questions 1. How do our thoughts influence our emotions?

2. What are seven irrational beliefs that commonly lead to emotional reasoning? How can they negatively affect our relations with others?

3. What irrational beliefs affect you the most, and how can you overcome them?

B. Overview 1. Psychologists recognize the importance of understanding how emotion influences our behavior in a wide variety of contexts and situations.

2. Current findings in evolutionary psychology provide support for the idea that emotions are not interference but important contributors to species survival and growth.

C. How Do Thoughts Influence Feelings?

1. Almost all psychologists believe emotions are inextricably linked to thoughts. Emotion results from how situations are interpreted, NOT the situation itself.

2. Emotion begins with an ACTIVATING EVENT, which is meaningful to the person experiencing it.

3. In a process called COGNITIVE APPRAISAL, minds evaluate events in the context of individual belief systems, expectations, needs, and past experiences.

4. Once interpretations are made, people engage in SELF-TALK, which are internal thoughts that reinforce interpretation of an activating event.

This is how events that determine emotions are interpreted or perceived.

5. And so…the mind influences emotions through activating event interpretations. People exposed to the same activating event can react with different emotions.

6. Critical Thinking Question: Can you think of a situation that happened in your life recently in which you reacted differently than someone else based on your different interpretations? Did it lead to a misunderstanding? If so, how did you resolve it?

D. Fantasies and Nightmares: Seven Irrational Beliefs 1. See Table 4.1: Seven Irrational Beliefs That Influence Emotions.

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2. Individual interpretations of an event can lead to a variety of emotions and may result in problems in relations with others. Emotions may be in direct contrast to rational thinking and may lead to common irrational beliefs (Ellis, 1962; Beck, 1987). a. CATASTROPHIZING is exaggerating the importance of a negative event. b. OVERGENERALIZATION is exaggerating the frequency of an event, or making broad assumptions based on limited evidence.

3. Critical Thinking Question: To what extent do you tend to overgeneralize? Do you do it more with certain people or in certain situations? Give an example that illustrates your answer. a. MYTH OF CAUSATION is belief that one person’s emotions are the direct result of another person’s actions. b. NEED FOR APPROVAL is the belief that you are okay only if everyone else approves of you. c. TYRANNY OF SHOULDS is the belief that other people, or the world in general, ought to think and act in a way that fits your belief system.

4. Critical Thinking Question: Do you know anyone who seems to be especially affected by the tyranny of shoulds? Think back to the four dimensions of cultures you learned about in Chapter 1. Which dimension seems most related to this irrational belief? a. PERFECTIONISM is expecting yourself to achieve perfection in tasks, relationships, communication, or other goals. b. MYTH OF HELPLESSNESS assumes you are stuck in a bad situation and cannot do anything about it.

E. Disputing Irrational Beliefs 1. Cognitive psychology offers solutions to problems caused by irrational beliefs (Beck, 1987).

2. See Table 4.2: Disputing Irrational Beliefs.

Some Basic Emotions and Their Effects on Relationships A. Preview Questions 1. What is the difference between sadness and depression? How can depression be treated?

2. Is anger always bad? Why or why not?

3. What are four methods of handling anger, and how do you see them in your own life and relationships?

4. What factors influence a person’s happiness, and how does this information help you to improve the effectiveness of your relations with others?

B. Sadness 1. What Is Sadness?

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2.

3.

4.

5.

a. Sadness typically results from loss or disappointment and usually lasts a relatively short amount of time. When the feeling is intensified, sadness becomes grief. b. Sadness or grief at a loss can be adaptive because it promotes a reflective period for mourning, reflection, and adjustment.

Are You Depressed, or Merely Sad? a. Depression is the most widespread psychological disorder in society and differs from sadness in duration and intensity of feelings. b. The depressed person feels no hope of recovery and self-esteem is affected as the person feels worthless. c. Other common symptoms include changes in eating and sleeping patterns, crying, inability to think clearly or to solve problems, loss of pleasure in previously enjoyed activities, and suicidal ideation.

Causes and Consequences of Depression a. What causes depression? Depression can be physiological and treated with medication, or cognitive and treated with cognitive therapies. b. What are some of the consequences of depression? Depression affects relations with others, including marital partners, roommates, and other significant others.

How Is Depression Treated? a. Depression can be treated with cognitive therapies and behavioral therapies, including such things as socializing, seeing a movie or reading a book, engaging in some form of exercise, or treating oneself to a favorite outing or event. b. Depression is sometimes alleviated by helping someone else.

Critical Thinking Question: List three activities you really enjoy that you could use to try to lift yourself out of a low-level depression.

C. Anger 1. What Is Anger? a. ANGER is a normal human emotion that provides a signal that something is wrong. b. AGGRESSION is a behavior that is destructive or hostile. c. Anger is an emotion and aggression is a behavior. Anger is not always bad; it can be adaptive.

2. Direct Expression of Anger a. DIRECT EXPRESSION OF ANGER involves expressing of your anger directly toward the object of your anger.

1) Direct anger implies trust. Without trust, patience, and skill to deal with anger, relationships can be destroyed by direct expression of anger.

2) Direct anger can be constructive and destructive.

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i. Destructive means of expressing anger directly include physical aggression and verbal aggression, such as name-calling and “kitchen-sinking” (including everything that causes frustration). ii. Constructive ways of expressing anger directly involve describing problems in a factual, rather than judgmental, manner and staying focused on issues at hand.

3. Tips for Direct, Constructive Expression of Anger a. Timing is critical. Pausing and reflecting mediates angry responses. b. Making time to deal with anger effectively is useful. c. See Activity 4.1: Managing Difficult Emotions and Activity 4.2: Handling Anger Constructively to take the first steps for learning to express anger directly and constructively. d. “Choosing your battles” is a good strategy.

4. How is anger expressed indirectly? a. INDIRECT EXPRESSION OF ANGER involves channeling your anger in a direction other than toward the objects of your anger. b. Indirect anger can also be constructive and destructive. See Table 4.3: Methods of Handling Anger for a summary of methods handling anger.

1) Destructive forms of indirectly expressed anger include excessive alcohol consumption, drug use, physical violence, or even violence aimed at an inanimate object.

CATHARSIS is the theory that suggests releasing pent-up hostilities will return us to a peaceful state.

2) Constructive, indirectly expressed anger can be expressed by such means as exercise (carries added health benefits), relaxation (includes meditation and prayer), psychological detachment (provides recognition that the issue may be out of control), and cognitive restructuring (shifts focus to positive aspects of a situation).

5. See Activity 4.2: Handling Anger Constructively to explore reactions to anger and practice handling them constructively.

D. Happiness 1. Does Money Buy Happiness? a. People living at or below poverty level experience less joy and less happiness than those who are living a more comfortable lifestyle. b. Research does not support the notion that money buys happiness.

People today are no happier than they were 40 years ago, despite the doubling of their income. Once beyond poverty level, money does not increase measures of happiness.

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III.

2. What Factors Affect Happiness? a. Happiness is increased by personal control, optimism, close relationships, and a sense of meaning and faith. b. Self-esteem, satisfying work, 7-8 hours sleep each night, and time for personal reflection also contribute to happiness.

E. Critical Thinking Questions: Overall, how happy do you generally tend to be?

How does your overall happiness level affect your relations with others?

1. Tips for Increasing Happiness (Myers, 1993) a. Keep busy with challenging but manageable tasks. b. Count your blessings. c. Actively seek out social networks. d. Try looking on the bright side of things. e. Exercise regularly. f. Laugh.

Emotional Intelligence A. Preview Questions 1. What is emotional intelligence, and what are its five components?

2. Is empathy the same as sympathy? Why or why not?

3. How does emotional intelligence influence our relations at home and at work?

B. Overview 1. Traditional means of measuring intelligence measures only thinking ability—IQ score.

2. Goleman (1995) summarized research on emotions and its impact on human relations and proposed multiple forms of intelligence, including EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (self-awareness, emotional self-control, persistence, empathy, and social competence). a. SELF-AWARENESS is an ongoing attention to one’s internal states. It involves consciously monitoring one’s feelings as they occur and functions as the foundation of emotional intelligence. b. REGULATING EMOTIONS involves managing the intensity and duration of feelings and the ability to delay gratification. High emotional intelligence is characterized by an ability to effectively manage emotions and their duration. c. PERSISTANCE involves continuing to work toward goals despite setbacks and frustration. It is a natural outgrowth of the ability to regulate one’s emotion.

1) People high with emotional intelligence are able to stay focused on long-term goals, persist through frustrations and setbacks.

2) Flow (Csikszentmihalyi, 1997) is the state of being in which a person feels one with what they are doing. It is alternatively called “the zone” and “a peak experience” and

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is achieved by setting goals at a challenging but reachable level.

3. Critical Thinking Question: Have you ever experienced flow? If so, what were you doing, and how do you think you got to that point? What concepts from Chapters 2 and 3 seem to fit well with the idea of flow? a. EMPATHY is feeling and understanding the emotions of another person.

1) Empathy involves sharing another person’s feelings and understanding what it feels like to take their perspective; sympathy is a more general sense of feeling badly about another person’s situation without knowing what it is like.

2) Empathy is feeling with and sympathy is feeling for.

3) See Activity 4.4: Using the Pillow Method to Develop Empathy to practice the development of empathy in your own life. b. Social Competencies include the ability to organize groups, mediate conflict and negotiate solutions, make personal connections with people, and accurately analyze others’ feelings, motives, and concerns.

1) Social competencies build on all the above foundations of emotional intelligence.

The Role of Stress in Human Relations A. Preview Questions 1. How are our bodies equipped to handle stress, and in what ways is this both helpful and harmful?

2. What internal and external factors can help moderate the effects of stress?

3. What strategies can help us cope with stress more effectively?

B. The Stress Response. See Figure 4.5: Bodily Reactions to Stress.

1. Stress makes life more complicated, including relationships with others.

2. GENERAL ADAPTATION SYNDROME (GAS) is the human body’s response to stressful or threatening situations. It has several phases: alarm phase, resistance phase, and exhaustion phase. a. ALARM PHASE involves the fight or flight response. This response is designed to handle situations that require immediate, short-term or acute responses.

1) ACUTE STRESSORS are stressful situations that require immediate response and are short-term.

2) CHRONIC STRESSORS are stressful situations not resolved quickly that are long-term. b. RESISTANCE PHASE occurs when our bodies work to keep our immune systems at a peak and to repair damage while we continue to combat the threat.

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1) If the threat continues, the resistance phase engages.

Resistance levels aren’t quite as high as they were during the alarm stage, but still higher than normal.

2) When the threat continues to persist, bodies can no longer sustain the enhanced level of arousal and the third stage is engaged. c. EXHAUSTION PHASE occurs when resistance levels drop to a point that is below normal because our resources have been depleted and can no longer combat the threat.

1) Research highlights connections between stress and several physiological and psychological conditions (e.g., heart disease, ulcers, headaches, depression, high blood pressure).

3. GAS is designed to help effectively cope with stressors. STRESSORS are stressful events or situations that are acute or chronic.

C. Critical Thinking Question: Each of the above-mentioned physiological changes produced during the alarm phase serves a specific purpose. Can you identify the purpose served by each change? For example, how does increased heart rate help the body cope effectively with a threat?

D. Moderators of Stress 1. What Is Stress? a. STRESS is the feeling of arousal and the resulting physiological and psychological effects of being exposed to the stressor. b. Stress is cognitively mediated to facilitate appraisal or evaluation of a potential threat.

2. What Personality Traits Moderate Stress? a. Certain personality traits, coping styles, and social support have a moderating effect on stress. b. Moderators work in a variety of ways: affecting the appraisal process by influencing the degree of perceived threat; reducing the amount of stress felt in relation to exposure to stress; reducing the impact of stress by decreasing the link between stress and illness.

1) CONTROL is the general belief that you can influence your life and your situations.

2) OPTIMISM is the tendency to focus on the positive aspects of a situation.

3) HARDINESS is a personality style that consists of three components: control, commitment, and challenge. i. Control involves the belief that we can influence the events that happen in our lives. ii. Commitment is the tendency to become fully involved in whatever activities or events in which we are engaged.

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iii. Challenge refers to the perception that new things represent exciting possibilities, as opposed to the perception that change is somewhat unnerving.

3. Coping Styles and Stress a. Stress coping strategies play a significant role in physical and mental health. Both coping strategies moderate stress. b. Coping strategies are contained in two categories: problem-focused coping, emotion-focused coping.

1) PROBLEM-FOCUSED COPING refers to taking specific action geared toward reducing the threat presented by the stressor.

2) EMOTION-FOCUSED COPING refers to an attempt to regulate the emotional impact of the stress.

4. SOCIAL SUPPORT AND STRESS is the awareness that one is cared for, valued, and part of a network of communication and mutual support.

It reduces the negative emotional effects of stress and possible physical and mental illness that develop as a result of chronic stress.

E. Critical Thinking Question: What reasons can you think that might explain why and how social support improves physical and mental health?

F. Coping Effectively with Stress 1. Brainstorming alternatives to change situations, setting challenging but realistic personal and professional goals, and making downward comparisons mediate stress. DOWNWARD COMPARISONS includes identifying and acknowledging situations in which people are worse off than you are.

2. Hardiness training programs can aid in the reduction of stress. These programs have three phases: situational reconstruction, focusing, and compensatory self-improvement. a. SITUATIONAL RECONSTRUCTION is imagining ways the situation could be worse, ways the situation could be better, and forming an action plan that lists steps to take to improve the stressful situation. b. FOCUSING involves digging deep into feelings about a situation in search of new insights that may lie at the heart of what is causing the stress. c. COMPENSATORY SELF-IMPROVEMENT involves identifying something related to the stressor that was previously ignored, and taking action in that related area.

G. See Activity 4.5: Stress and Stress Management in Your Life to examine stress in your life and how to cope with it.

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Preview Questions The Study of Emotions 1. How do our thoughts influence our emotions?

2. What are seven irrational beliefs that commonly lead to emotional reasoning? How can they negatively affect our relations with others?

3. What irrational beliefs affect you the most, and how can you overcome them?

Some Basic Emotions and Their Effects on Relationships 1. What is the difference between sadness and depression? How can depression be treated?

2. Is anger always bad? Why or why not?

3. What are four methods of handling anger, and how do you see them in your own life and relationships?

4. What factors influence a person’s happiness, and how does this information help you improve the effectiveness of your relations with others?

Emotional Intelligence 1. What is emotional intelligence, and what are its five components?

2. Is empathy the same as sympathy? Why or why not?

3. How does emotional intelligence influence our relations at home and at work?

The Role of Stress in Human Relations 1. How are our bodies equipped to handle stress, and in what ways is this both helpful and harmful?

2. What internal and external factors can help moderate the effects of stress?

3. What strategies can help us cope with stress more effectively?

Critical Thinking Questions How Thoughts Influence Feelings 1. Can you think of a situation that happened in your life recently in which you reacted differently than someone else, based on your different interpretations?

2. Did it lead to a misunderstanding? If so, how did you resolve it?

3. To what extent do you tend to overgeneralize? Do you do it more with certain people or in certain situations? Give an example that illustrates your answer.

Treating Depression 1. List three activities you really enjoy that you could use to try to lift yourself out of a low-level depression.

Factors Affecting Happiness 1. Overall, how happy do you generally tend to be?

2. How does your overall happiness level affect your relations with others?

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Persistence 1. Have you ever experienced flow? If so, what were you doing, and how do you think you got to that point?

2. What concepts for Chapters 2 and 3 seem to fit well with the idea of flow?

The Stress Response 1. Each of the above-mentioned physiological changes produced during the alarm phase serves a specific purpose?

2. Can you identify the purpose served by each change? For example, how does increased heart rate help the body cope effectively with a threat?

Social Support and Stress 1. What reasons can you think of that might explain why and how social support improves physical and mental health?

Class Activities Researching and Recognizing Depression Recent statistics suggest that one in seven of college students experience depression. Brought on by a combination of students’ vulnerable age and the stress and demands of college life, depression and related conditions can strike for the first time in college, or come back to haunt those who had first battled it in high school. Many students don’t know that what’s happening to them has a name, a biological cause, or a range of treatments. And without proper help, depressed students may fall behind in class, withdraw from friends and activities—or try to kill themselves. It is important for students to be aware of depression’s symptoms and to know how to get help for those affected by it.

Mental Health America (formerly known as the National Mental Health Association) (http://www.nmha.org/go/get-info) is the country’s leading nonprofit organization dedicated to helping people live mentally healthier lives. This website addresses a wide variety of mental health issues, including depression in college. The National Institute of Mental Health (http://www.nimh.nih.gov/) is one of 27 components of the National Institutes of Health (NIH).

Its mission is to reduce the burden of mental illness and behavioral disorders through research on mind, brain, and behavior. One of the areas of research includes depression.

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Encourage students to go to both of the above sites to investigate depression.

As they visit the sites (or others they may find on their own), students should answer the following questions: o Briefly define depression. o Explain the different types of depression and briefly discuss the symptoms of each. o Comment on the occurrence of depression among college students. o List four ways people can help themselves if they are depressed.

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o Document your answers and include a reference section at the end of your assignment.

Grading Rubric Earned Points

Objectives Define “depression.”

1 point Partial or incomplete definition.

2 points Complete definition.

Identify and explain types of depression.

1 point Only one type of depression is explained.

2 points Two or more types of depression are included.

Discuss depression in college students.

1 point Only partial or incomplete information directly relating to college students is given.

2 points College student depression is clearly and accurately discussed.

Discuss four strategies 1 point for managing stress.

Only one strategy is presented.

•

1-3 point(s) Assign one additional point for each additional strategy discussed.

After students turn in their work, consider inviting local mental health professionals from the institution or community to speak to the class, answer questions, and delineate existing mental health resources.

Another Kind of Smart: Inspecting the Personal Foundation of Emotional Intelligence (Handout 4.5) One critical component of developing emotional intelligence involves the ability to increase awareness of how cultural and family backgrounds impact our current relationships. Personal histories often have a significant impact on personal relationships and can serve as a window into deeper understanding of self and increased emotional intelligence. During this part of the course, students are asked to compose a brief autobiography that identifies key events and key people in their life that have served to shape how they currently interact in relationships and social/workplace encounters. This assignment should end with a concluding section in which students summarize their current level of emotional intelligence based on the five components found in the Hamilton’s text.

The paper should be 4-5 pages in length.

Two-Minute Check. One of the simplest and most effective ways to connect with students is through regular two minute checks. Two minute checks consist of a two- question mini survey and follow up. Handout 4.6 (Two Minute Check) is a template that may be used for this exercise throughout the course.

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Questions Question 1: List two things you already know about emotions.

Question 2: List two things you would like to learn about emotions. Please be specific.

Follow Up Distribute Handout 4.6 at the end of class. Ask student to complete the handout. Collect the survey and summarize the results. The key to the effectiveness of this exercise is timing.

• If you present a summary of the findings or an overall of student responses, this conveys to students that their ideas and interests are important to you. See Handout 4.7: Sharing Two Minute Check Results for a template for presenting summary results to the class.

• Use Handout 4.8: Two Minute Results Checklist for developing a summary checklist of the survey results. As topics listed in student expressed interests emerge during the course, refer to the two-minute check results. For example, you may tell students: “Several of you expressed an interest in learning about selfesteem in the two-minute check. We are going to cover this today.”

• Date items on the summary checklist as these are covered in class. This will help you to meet students’ expressed informational needs and to reinforce that their ideas are integral to the ongoing development and delivery of the course.

Class Activities Within the Text Activity 4.1: Managing Difficult Emotions This activity is designed to help students take the first steps toward overcoming irrational beliefs.

Activity 4.2: Handling Anger Constructively This activity is designed to help students describe ways in which they constructively or destructively handled three stressful situations. Handout 4.2 is a hard copy of the form.

Activity 4.3: Three Good Things This activity is designed to illustrate the relationship between gratitude and happiness. Students are asked to write down three good things that happened to them every day for seven days.

Activity 4.4: Using the Pillow Method to Develop Empathy To practice developing empathy in their lives, students are directed to try the Pillow Method.

This method involves looking at the issue from four different angles and forming a conclusion based on a new view of the whole issue. Handout 4.3 is a hard copy of the form.

Activity 4.5: Stress and Stress Management in Your Life To examine the stress in their lives and to consider how they can apply this information to better cope with it, students are directed to the last activity in Chapter 4.

• Part 1 of this exercise asks students to briefly describe situations in their life that are causing them to feel stress.

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Part 2 of this activity directs students to review the chapter discussion of stress moderators and coping styles and to consider which ones are currently playing a role in their reactions to stressful life situations.

Part 3 encourages reflection on the available information on stress moderators and coping. Handout 4.4 is a hard copy of the form.

Handouts Handouts 4.1: Identifying and Overcoming Your Irrational Beliefs Handouts 4.2: (Activity 4.2): Handling Anger Constructively Handouts 4.3: (Activity 4.4): Using the Pillow Method to Develop Empathy Handouts 4.4: (Activity 4.5): Stress and Stress Management in Your Life Handouts 4.5: Another Kind of Smart: Inspecting the Personal Foundation of Emotional Intelligence Handouts 4.6: Two Minute Check Handouts 4.7: Sharing Two Minute Check Results Handouts 4.8: Two Minute Results Checklist NAME:_______________________________________DATE:____________________

HANDOUT 4.1: IDENTIFYING AND OVERCOMING YOUR IRRATIONAL BELIEFS Common irrational beliefs include: catastrophizing, overgeneralization, the myth of causation, the need for approval, the tyranny of shoulds, perfectionism, and the myth of helplessness.

PART 1 The text discussion of these beliefs included descriptions and examples of each. Choose the four that seemed to best fit your own life, and for each one, write an example of a time that you found yourself getting trapped by that irrational belief.

Example 1: __________________________________ (name of irrational belief) _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ Example 2: __________________________________ (name of irrational belief) _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ Example 3: __________________________________ (name of irrational belief) _____________________________________________________________________

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_____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ Example 4: __________________________________ (name of irrational belief) _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ PART 2 Now, for each example, write your original interpretation of the event and the self-talk that led to your irrational belief, then rewrite the self-talk in a way that disputes the irrational belief and replaces it with more accurate information. For an example, refer to the section entitled “Disputing Irrational Beliefs” in this chapter.

Example 1: Original interpretation and self-talk: __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ Rewritten self-talk that provides a more accurate interpretation: __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ Example 2: Original interpretation and self-talk: __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ Rewritten self-talk that provides a more accurate interpretation: __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________

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__________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ Example 3: Original interpretation and self-talk: __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ Rewritten self-talk that provides a more accurate interpretation: __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ Example 4: Original interpretation and self-talk: __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ Rewritten self-talk that provides a more accurate interpretation: __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ PART 3: REFLECTIONS Now that you have completed this activity, what conclusions can you draw about irrational beliefs and your human relations? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

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________________________________________________________________________ NAME:_______________________________________DATE:____________________

HANDOUT 4.2: HANDLING ANGER CONSTRUCTIVELY PART 1: IDENTIFICATION AND ANALYSIS Think of three situations in which you found yourself angry. For each one, please complete the following steps: 1. Write a brief description of the circumstances.

2. Describe how you handled the situation.

3. Identify whether your reaction was constructive or destructive, and whether it was direct or indirect.

4. Consider how effective your reaction was and what you would do differently next time. a. What was the situation? b. How did you handle the situation? c. Was your reaction constructive or destructive? Was it direct or indirect? d. How effective was your reaction and what you would do differently next time?

Situation #1 1. ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ 2. ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ 3. ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ 4. ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ Situation #2 1. ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ 2. ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ 3. ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ 4. ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________

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________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________

Situation #3 1. ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ 2. ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ 3. ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ 4. ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ NAME:______________________________________DATE:_____________________

HANDOUT 4.3: USING THE PILLOW METHOD TO DEVELOP EMPATHY OVERVIEW The Pillow Method is a technique used to gain empathy for someone else’s perspective on a situation when it is different from your own and is consequently causing problems in your relationship with that person. This method involves looking at the issue from four different angles (like the four corners of a pillow) and forming a conclusion based on your new view of the whole issue.

ASSIGNMENT College students report a great deal of insight on an issue when they write out all perspectives of the Pillow Method. Accordingly, this activity will ask you to write a paper that contains one to two paragraphs for each of the following steps of the Pillow Method. Overall, your Pillow Method paper should be about three pages.

1.

Background. Identify an issue in which you and someone important to you have different and conflicting view points. Describe the situation and how it has evolved into a conflict or disagreement.

2.

Position 1: “I am right, and you are wrong.” In this section, write out all of your beliefs about why you are right and the other person is wrong. (This is the easy part!)

3.

Position 2: “You are right, and I am wrong.” This is the hard part. Put your own beliefs aside and put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Imagine how the person feels about the

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situation. Write down the beliefs and feelings that support why the person is right and you are wrong.

4.

Position 3: “We’re both right and we’re both wrong.” Now, reflect on parts 1 and 2 and consider the strengths and weaknesses of each side. Write them down in this section, making your best effort to be fair and even-handed for both sides.

5.

Position 4: “This issue has gotten blown out of proportion.” Often in a conflict situation, the very nature of the struggle results in the issue taking on a life of its own and becoming more of a problem than it deserves to be. Compared to the importance of the relationship at stake, the issue itself may need to be shrunk back to its appropriate size. Consider this as you write this section and strive to put the issue back into its proper perspective. What really is important?

6.

Conclusion. Reflect back on what you have written and consider how there is truth in all perspectives. Write about any new insights you have gained through this exercise. How do you think and feel about the issue now, and what will you do about it?

NAME:_____________________________________DATE:______________________

HANDOUT 4.4: STRESS AND STRESS MANAGEMENT IN YOUR LIFE PART 1: IDENTIFICATION In the following space, briefly describe the situations in your life that are causing you to feel stress. ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

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PART 2: ANALYSIS Now, review the text’s discussion of stress moderators, coping strategies, and lifestyle choices.

Consider which ones are currently helping you respond effectively to the stressful situations in your life. Choose three that are relevant to you. For each one, describe how it helps you handle your stress, and consider how effectively it is working. ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ PART 3: LOOKING AHEAD Finally, reflect on the stress moderators, coping strategies, and lifestyle choices that you aren’t currently using (or using as much as you could be). Identify three concrete strategies you could take to reduce the impact of the stress in your life. In other words, make a list of ideas you have gained that can help you cope effectively with stress, along with one specific way you will apply each one to one of the stressors you previously identified. ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

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NAME:_______________________________DATE:___________________________________

HANDOUT 4.5: ANOTHER KIND OF SMART: INSPECTING THE PERSONAL FOUNDATION OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE One critical component of developing emotional intelligence involves the ability to increase awareness of how cultural and family backgrounds impact our current relationships. Personal histories often have a significant impact on personal relationships and can serve as a window into deeper understanding of self and increased emotional intelligence.

•

During this part of the course, you are asked to compose a brief autobiography that identifies key events and key people in your life that have served to shape how you currently interact in relationships and social/workplace encounters.

•

This assignment should end with a concluding section in which you summarize your current level of emotional intelligence based on the five components found in the text.

The paper should be 4-5 pages in length.

NAME:___________________________________DATE:________________________

HANDOUT 4.6: TWO MINUTE CHECK Please take two minutes to answer the following questions about the chapter we are beginning.

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List two things you already know about emotions, stress, or coping.

1.

______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________

2.

______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________

•

List two things you would like to learn about emotions, stress, or coping. Please be specific.

1.

______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________

2.

______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________

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NAME:___________________________________DATE:________________________

HANDOUT 4.7: SHARING TWO MINUTE CHECK RESULTS Thank you for sharing your ideas in the two minute check we did this week.

• •

Here are some things you already know about emotions, stress, or coping.

Here are some things you would like to learn about emotions, stress, or coping.

NAME:___________________________________DATE:________________________

HANDOUT 4.8: TWO MINUTE CHECK RESULTS CHECKLIST Chapter:___________________________________________________ Topic

Date Covered

□ Stress Management □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □

12/3/16

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Chapter 5: The Role of Perception in Human Relations Chapter Objective This chapter explores some of the most common ways in which our differing perceptions can lead to misunderstandings and even conflict in our relations with others. It explores why our perceptions can vary so dramatically and describes a communication technique that can be used in situations when we aren’t sure if our interpretation is correct.

Learning Objectives • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Explain why our brains make perceptual errors.

Describe how the ‘primacy effect’ skews our interpretations Explain how confirmation bias influences perception and how to overcome it Explain false consensus bias, its effects, and solutions to overcome it Describe the influence of the fundamental attribution error Summarize the three-step process to overcome the fundamental attribution error Distinguish biological influences from cultural influences on perception Summarize how biology influences perception Describe how several different types of cultural norms influence our perception of others Explain how perception-checking can help avoid misunderstandings Describe how memory processes can lead to miscommunication Explain why it is not accurate to say that we “retrieve” memories Summarize how we encode information using the three-box model Describe how schemas influence memory during encoding and reconstruction Determine how perceptual factors influence our memory

Key Terms and Concepts Primacy effect False consensus bias Confirmation bias Fundamental attribution error Internal attribution External attribution Consistency Distinctiveness Consensus Physiological factors

Physiological factors Personal space Talking rules Perception-checking Encoding Sensory memory Working memory Long-term memory Schemas Rosy retrospection

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Chapter Outline I.

II.

Is Reality Subjective?

A. Different people have different perceptions of the truth in any given situation→Interpretations of an event and situation is filtered through personal belief situations, interests, values, expectations, and experiences.

Cognitive Biases That Influence Our Perception A. Preview Questions 1. How do our sophisticated brains set us up to make perceptual errors?

2. Do first impressions really last? Why or why not?

3. What are two cognitive biases that affect our perceptions and our relations with others?

4. What is the fundamental attribution error, and how does it interfere with good human relations? How can it be overcome?

B. Overview 1. Humans have an innate need for order, and human brains have evolved to aid in this endeavor.

2. In addition to quick processing, humans also make perceptual errors.

These errors contribute to judgments and conclusions drawn about people and events.

C. See Table 5.1: Cognitive Biases That May Lead to Misperceptions for a list of perceptual errors that are outgrowths of the need to understand the world and its inhabitants.

1. THE PRIMACY EFFECT occurs when people pay more attention to initial information they receive about a person or situation than they do to later information. See Asch’s (1946) seminal list of characteristics study. a. First impressions are typically the strongest. This may be related to the human need to understand things. b. First impressions are very difficult to overcome. Can you think of an example from your own life?

2. FALSE CONSENSUS BIAS is our mistaken assumption that others see things the same way we do. a. This occurs because people tend to associate with people who hold similar beliefs and such consensus strengthens confidence in personal beliefs.

3. FALSE UNIQUENESS BIAS occurs when we are considering our talents, abilities, or positive qualities, and we tend to see ourselves as more unique than we actually are. This is the exception to the false consensus bias.

4. Critical Thinking Question: For any two of the three biases just discussed, give an example from your own life of a time that each bias contributed to a misunderstanding in a work or personal relationship.

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5. THE CONFIRMATION BIAS occurs when our tendency to seek out and pay attention to information that supports our preexisting notions, and also to ignore or discount contradictory information. It is a perceptual error made in an error to determine the “right answer” to a problem or situation. a. Initial judgment, both positive and negative, is strengthened. This is linked to the need to be right about personal conclusions. People look for evidence to confirm existing beliefs and ignore information that is contrary or doesn’t fit. b. This bias creates a tendency to interpret ambiguous information consistently with personal beliefs.

6. Critical Thinking Question: Think of a recent news event (political, social, religious, etc.) about which you had a strong opinion. Identify at least one specific way you might have overlooked competing information in your effort to seek corroborating information.

7. THE FUNDAMENTAL ATTRIBUTION ERROR is our human tendency to assume that other people’s behavior is due to something about their personality, while at the same time failing to consider possible situational influence. This mistake occurs because of focus of attention. a. INTERNAL ATTRIBUTION occurs when we attribute a person’s behavior to something about the person, his or her character, or his or her personality. b. EXTERNAL ATTRIBUTION occurs when we attribute behavior to an external or situational factor. c. People who live in cultures that value interdependence more than independence seem less likely to make the fundamental attribution error.

8. Overcoming the Fundamental Attribution Error a. The fundamental attribution error is a threat to good relations with others. b. Kelley (1967) developed a three-question formula to determine the correctness of an attribution. See Figure 5.2: Avoiding the Fundamental Attribution Error for an illustration of this formula.

1) Is this behavior consistent? i. CONSISTENCY is related to whether a particular behavior typically occurs in that situation.

2) Is this behavior distinctive? i. DISTINCTIVENESS is related to whether a particular behavior typically occurs in other situations.

3) Do others exhibit this behavior in this situation? i. CONSENSUS is related to whether other people typically exhibit this behavior in this situation.

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III.

c. See Activity 5.1: Overcoming the Fundamental Attribution Error to test an understanding of personal fundamental attribution error.

Individual and Group Differences That Affect Perception A. Preview Questions 1. In what ways does our physiology influence our perceptions of others?

2. What are three ways that our cultural norms influence our perception of others and the world?

3. What is perception-checking, and how can it help us avoid misunderstandings?

B. What Physiological Factors Influence Perception?

1. Several physiological factors (biological factors) influence our perception of events: physical senses, physical state, and physical attributes. a. Physical Senses: Perceptual differences in senses can contribute to misunderstandings in relationships. b. Physical State: Physical state at any given time can influence the way a person perceives and is perceived by others. c. Physical Attributes: Physical appearance influences the way people are perceived by others.

1) Research suggests people respond more favorably to physically attractive others; people who believe they are more attractive have higher self-esteem; and being exposed to beauty influences mood. d. See Activity 5.2: Personal Experience with Cultural Factors in Perception to explore the ways in which biological factors have played a role in personal and other perceptions.

2. Beauty and Body Image: A Cultural Obsession.

3. Critical Thinking Question: What reasons can you think of that might explain the pressure to be thin felt by middle-class African American women, but not by their wealthier or poorer counterparts?

C. Cultural Influences on Perception 1. Misunderstanding about what people say or do occurs easily in the context of differing cultures.

2. What are some of the most common cultural differences that influence perceptions? a. PERSONAL SPACE is the comfortable amount of distance between people in conversation. b. EYE CONTACT in white American culture signals honesty, interest, and sincerity. It differs across and within cultures and in formal and informal interactions. c. TALKING RULES are rules of conversations. These differ among various cultures in a number of ways, including such things as the use of silence.

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IV.

D. Perception-Checking: A Remedy for Misjudgments 1. PERCEPTION-CHECKING is a three-part statement you make to another person when you need clarification of something the person said or did. See Figure 5.5: Perception-checking for an example.

2. Steps in Perception-Checking a. Describe the person’s behavior, ensuring that facts, not interpretations, are collected. b. Develop several explanations for the described behavior. c. Ask the person to identify the correct interpretation.

3. Tips for Using Perception-Checking a. Be sensitive to cultural context. Perception-checking works best in cultures that prefer direct communication. b. Practice using hypothetical situations. c. See Activity 5.3: Developing Your Perception-Checking Skills to learn perception-checking skills.

Memory and Perception A. Preview Questions 1. How accurate are our memories? How do memory errors influence our human relations?

2. What perceptual errors can skew our memories and lead to misunderstandings with others?

B. Is Memory Verbatim or Reconstructive?

1. Memory is comprised of perceptions and subject to perceptual (encoding and retrieval) errors.

2. Events are encoded within a three-step process: Sensory memory = 1- to 2-second opportunity to “grab” what catches attention most strongly→Working memory = 30-second opportunity to process information in meaningful way→Long-term memory.

C. The Stages of Memory 1. Memory process has three stages: encoding, storage, and retrieval.

2. Perceptual errors are most likely to occur in the encoding and retrieval stage; this modifies memories.

D. Encoding and Schemas 1. ENCODING STAGE involves taking in information and organizing it in a way that is meaningful to us, so that we can store it for later retrieval. a. The first step in encoding is SENSORY MEMEORY, which is a 1- to 2-second time frame during which we encode information from our immediate sensory experiences. This involves all five senses.

2. The second step in encoding is WORKING MEMORY, which is a timeframe of about 30 seconds during which we either use and dispose of the information or work to retain it. Different people in the same

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situation might naturally focus on different pieces of information, resulting in differing perceptions.

3. The third step in encoding is LONG-TERM MEMORY is the relatively permanent storage of information. a. SCHEMAS are a set of beliefs and expectations each of us has about certain concepts, events, and situations. They influence encoding by modifying the way in which a situation is interpreted or perceived. b. Informational gaps that are lost during the memory process are filled with available schemas.

4. Physiological and cultural influences affect memory via perception.

5. Critical Thinking Question: Identify a schema of your own. It might be your set of expectations about some aspect of schoolwork or relationships. Next, consider how your schema might be influencing what you pay attention to in that situation, and ultimately, how it might affect what you remember or forget.

E. Retrieval and Reconstruction 1. Memory retrieval is influenced by perception, schemas, rosy reconstruction, and cues present at the time of the retrieval attempt.

2. Recollections of past events are subject to error, such as ROSY RETROSPECTION, which is the tendency to forget minor annoyances and remember pleasures of a positive experience more vividly over time.

3. Critical Thinking Question: Compare your memory of a recent event with the memory of someone else who also experienced the event. Note the differences in your perceptions, and identify how at least one of the concepts in this section contributed to your different perceptions and memories.

Preview Questions Cognitive Biases that Influence Our Perceptions 1. How do our sophisticated brains set up to make perceptual errors?

2. Do first impressions really last? Why or why not?

3. What are two cognitive biases that affect our perceptions and our relations with others?

4. What is the fundamental attribution error, and does it interfere with good human relations? How can it be overcome?

Individual and Group Differences That Affect Perception 1. In what ways does our physiology influence our perceptions of others?

2. What are the three ways that our cultural norms influence our perception of others and the world?

3. What is perception-checking, and how can it help us avoid misunderstanding?

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Memory and Perception 1. How accurate are our memories? How do memory errors influence our human relations?

2. What perceptual errors can skew our memories and lead to misunderstandings with others?

Critical Thinking Questions False Consensus Bias 1. For any two of the three biases just discussed, give an example from your own life of a time that each bias contributed to a misunderstanding in a work or personal relationship.

The Confirmation Bias: Seeing What We Expect to See 1. Think of a recent news event (political, social, religious, etc.) about which you had a strong opinion.

2. Identify at least one specific way you might have overlooked competing information in your effort to seek corroborating information.

Physiological Influences on Perception 1. What reasons can you think of that might explain the pressure to be thin felt by middle-class African American women, but not by their wealthier or poorer counterparts?

Memory and Perception 1. Identify a schema of your own. It might be your set of expectations about some aspect of school, work, or relationships.

2. Next, consider how your schema might be influencing what you pay attention to in that situation, and ultimately, how it might affect what you remember or forget.

3. Compare your memory of a recent event with the memory of someone else who also experienced that event. Note the differences in your perceptions and identify how at least one of the concepts in this section contributed to your different perceptions and memories.

Class Activities Chunking Syllabi: Fact or Fiction?

Take a few minutes to retrieve and examine the article listed below. It is particularly relevant to teaching because the “chunking” exercise was conducted with college participants who were instructed to read a hypothetical exam policy. How do you convey information to students within your syllabus? On class assignments? The results of this article suggest that the primacy effect may, in fact, be in operation within your class syllabus or other class documents. This is a good time to think about these issues.

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If there are honors students or graduate students in your class, you may invite them to read the article and conduct an informal “mini-experiment” with the class. A hypothetical class policy could be distributed for class reaction, and then student comprehension could be assessed. How else might you or your students test the premises presented in this research?

Petty, R., Tormala, Z., Hawkins, C., & Wagner, D. (2001). Motivation to think and order effects in persuasion: The moderating role of chunking. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 27(3), 332-344.

Two studies examined the hypothesis that chunking—defined as the degree to which information is grouped into explicitly labeled categories —moderates the impact of motivation to think on order effects in persuasion. Results indicated that under chunked conditions, participants who were highly motivated to think were more susceptible to primacy effects than were those low in motivation to think. Under unchunked conditions, this pattern was reversed—those highly motivated to think were more susceptible to recency effects than those low in motivation to think.

Class Activities within the Text Activity 5.1: Overcoming the Fundamental Attribution Error To test their understanding of the fundamental attribution error in their own lives, students are asked to identify the fundamental error, describe a situation in their life when they made an internal attribution about someone’s behavior, three questions asked to test the accuracy of their attribution, the answers to their questions, and their evaluation of the error level in their actions.

Handout 5.1 is a hard copy of the form.

Activity 5.2: Personal Experience with Cultural Factors in Perception To test their level of individualism or collectivism, students are directed on to complete the questionnaire and reflective questions contained within this activity. Handout 5.3 is a hard copy of the form.

Activity 5.3: Developing Your Perception-Checking Skills To help them learn perception-checking, students are presented with some hypothetical situations in which one person does or says something that may be misperceived by another. They follow the three-step perception-checking exercise. Handout 5.5 is a hard copy of the form.

Handouts Handout 5.1 (Activity 5.1): Overcoming the Fundamental Attribution Error Handout 5.2: When Physiology Interferes with Perception Handout 5.3 (Activity 5.2): Personal Experience with Cultural Factors in Perception Handout 5.4: Enhancing Awareness of Cultural Differences Handout 5.5 (Activity 5.3): Developing Your Perception-Checking Skills Handout 5.6: Professor Perception Survey Handout 5.7: Rethinking Relationships

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Handout 5.8: Two Minute Check Handout 5.9: Sharing Two Minute Check Results Handout 5.10: Two Minute Results Checklist NAME:____________________________________DATE________________________

HANDOUT 5.1: OVERCOMING THE FUNDAMENTAL ATTRIBUTION ERROR 1.

What is the fundamental attribution error? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

2.

Describe a situation from your own life when you made an internal attribution about someone’s behavior, potentially committing the fundamental attribution error. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

3.

What internal attribution did you make in that situation? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

4.

What three questions would you have to ask yourself to see if your internal attribution was correct? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

5.

To the best of your knowledge, what is the answer to each of the three questions you identified in Question 4? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

6.

Did you make the fundamental attribution error in this situation? Explain your answer. ____________________________________________________________________

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____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ NAME:______________________________________DATE:_____________________

HANDOUT 5.2: WHEN PHYSIOLOGY INTERFERES WITH PERCEPTION Instructions: In this chapter, you learned numerous ways that physiological factors can influence your perception of people and events, as well as others’ perceptions of you. Think about times in your own life when these factors played a role in your own relationships (personal or professional), and choose three examples to discuss in the following spaces. Two examples should illustrate ways that any two of these factors influenced your perception of another person or an event; the third example should illustrate a time that you think one of these factors influenced someone else’s perception of you.

Each example should have three parts: 1. A short 3-4 sentence description of the situation.

2. Identification of the physiological factor that influenced perception in that situation.

3. A short explanation of how it influenced perception and the potential misunderstanding it might have caused.

Example 1: 1. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ 2.

____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

3.

____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

Example 2: 1. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ 2.

____________________________________________________________________

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____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ 3.

____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

Example 3: 1. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ 2.

____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

3.

____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

REFLECTIONS As you think about your examples, what would you say is the “take-home lesson” of this section? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ NAME:_____________________________________DATE:______________________

HANDOUT 5.3: PERSONAL EXPERIENCE WITH CULTURAL FACTORS IN PERCEPTION Instructions: In this chapter, you learned numerous ways that cultural factors can influence your perception of people and events, as well as others’ perceptions of you. Think about times in your own life when these factors played a role in your own relationships (personal or professional), and choose three examples to discuss in the following spaces. Two examples should illustrate ways that any two of these factors influenced your perception of another person or an event; the third example should illustrate a time that you think one of these factors influenced someone else’s perception of you.

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Each example should have three parts: 1. A short 3-4 sentence description of the situation.

2. Identification of the cultural factor that influenced perception in that situation.

3. A short explanation of how it influenced perception in that situation and the potential misunderstanding that it might have caused.

Example 1: 1. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ 2.

____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

3.

____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

Example 2: 1. __________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ 2.

__________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

3.

__________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

Example 3: 1. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ 2.

____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

3.

____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

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REFLECTIONS As you think about your examples, what would you say is the “take-home lesson” of this section? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ NAME:_____________________________________DATE:______________________

HANDOUT 5.4: ENHANCING AWARENESS OF CULTURAL DIFFERENCES Instructions: Chapter 5 included a discussion of several cultural differences that influence perception, along with how those differences can set up potential misunderstandings in our relations with diverse others. In addition to those differences discussed in the chapter, there are a multitude of others. For this assignment, research and discuss two additional cultural differences that could lead to misunderstandings in our human relations. If you have experiences of your own to draw from, you may use them; if not, you can either interview someone with more extensive multicultural experience or use the Internet or the library to gain your information.

Then, write a 1-2 page paper describing your findings. For each cultural difference you discuss, you should include: 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

A complete description of the cultural behavior.

The culture in which the behavior is common.

What the behavior means in its native culture.

How the behavior could be misperceived in other cultures.

The source of your information.

In class, you may be asked to share your findings with other students in a small group or large group discussion.

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NAME:______________________________________ DATE:_____________________

HANDOUT 5.5: DEVELOPING YOUR PERCEPTION-CHECKING SKILLS PART 1 Following are some hypothetical situations in which one person does or says something that may be misperceived by another. Imagine yourself in each situation. Write a perception-checking statement that you could use to clarify what the other person meant.

In each statement, remember to: a. Describe the other person’s behavior specifically and factually, yet tactfully. b. Offer two possible interpretations of the behavior. c. Request clarification.

Example: Situation: You’re having trouble in your biology class. A couple of weeks ago, one of your classmates who is acing the class offered to study with you, and you gratefully agreed. You didn’t set up a specific time, though, and now a couple of weeks have passed and he hasn’t said anything else about it.

Perception-Checking Statement: “A couple of weeks ago, we were talking about how I was having trouble in biology, and you offered to study with me. You haven’t said anything about it since then, and I was wondering if you’d gotten too busy, or if you were just waiting for me to say something?”

1.

For her birthday a couple of months ago, you gave your friend Sharon a gift card to the store where you work. She seemed to really like it, but you haven’t seen her come into the store to use it yet. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ 2. You’re getting ready to apply to another school and have requested a letter of recommendation from one of your teachers. He agreed to write it and was supposed to email you when it was ready to be picked up. The deadline for applications is now just 5 days away, and you haven’t heard from him yet. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

3.

You are dining at a nice restaurant with your significant other, who seems unusually quiet.

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____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ 4.

You play on your school’s soccer team, which requires you to have a minimum 2.0 GPA. Several times lately, your coach has asked how your classes are going. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

5.

One of your best friends moved to a different state last year, and the two of you planned to go on a vacation together this summer. You’ve left her several messages over the last few weeks, but she hasn’t returned your calls. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

6.

Several times lately, your employer has told you to go home early or not to come in at all.

The time off was nice at first, but now you’re starting to worry about your paycheck. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

PART 2 In this chapter, you also learned about numerous physiological and cultural factors that can influence our perception. In the following space, write an example from your own life of one physiological factor and one cultural factor that led to potential misperceptions. Then write a perception-checking statement you could use in each situation to clarify your interpretation.

7.

(Physiological Factor) Situation: ___________________________________________________________ Perception-Checking Statement: _________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

8.

(Cultural Factor) Situation: ___________________________________________________________ Perception-Checking Statement: _________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

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NAME:___________________________________DATE:________________________

HANDOUT 5.6: PROFESSOR PERCEPTION SURVEY In this chapter, we have learned that first impressions are very important. Your research team is being asked to collect information from six other students about their first impressions of specific professors.

Instructions: • Form small research teams to collect, analyze, and report information from the Professor Perception Survey. You should identify jobs for each member of their group.

Our Research Team: Member Names and Jobs: ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ •

Gather survey feedback about professors from six college peers. The only caveat is that the students you get information from cannot be members of the Human Relations class.

•

Summarize information from their surveys and provide a written and oral group report. Real names should not be used in your final report

Professor Perception Survey Think about professors you have known during your college experience. Please share about your very first impressions of any professor. Neither your name nor the name of the professor will be used in our report. We just want to learn about the general kinds of first impressions students have about their professors.

Student 1: 1. Tell me about your first impressions of a professor who taught a class you have completed. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

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____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ 2. What do you think was the greatest influence of your first impression of this professor? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ 3. Is this generally how you perceive professors? If not, how is this perception unique? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ 4. Did your perception of this professor change over the semester? If so, can you tell me how? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ Student 2: 1. Tell me about your first impressions of a professor who taught a class you have completed. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

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____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ 2. What do you think was the greatest influence of your first impression of this professor? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ 3. Is this generally how you perceive professors? If not, how is this perception unique? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ 4. Did your perception of this professor change over the semester? If so, can you tell me how? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ Student 3: 1. Tell me about your first impressions of a professor who taught a class you have completed. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

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____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ 2. What do you think was the greatest influence of your first impression of this professor? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ 3. Is this generally how you perceive professors? If not, how is this perception unique? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ 4. Did your perception of this professor change over the semester? If so, can you tell me how? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ Student 4: 1. Tell me about your first impressions of a professor who taught a class you have completed. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

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____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ 2. What do you think was the greatest influence of your first impression of this professor? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ 3. Is this generally how you perceive professors? If not, how is this perception unique? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ 4. Did your perception of this professor change over the semester? If so, can you tell me how? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ Student 5: 1. Tell me about your first impressions of a professor who taught a class you have completed. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

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____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ 2. What do you think was the greatest influence of your first impression of this professor? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ 3. Is this generally how you perceive professors? If not, how is this perception unique? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ 4. Did your perception of this professor change over the semester? If so, can you tell me how? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ Student 6: 1. Tell me about your first impressions of a professor who taught a class you have completed. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

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____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ 2. What do you think was the greatest influence of your first impression of this professor? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ 3. Is this generally how you perceive professors? If not, how is this perception unique? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ 4. Did your perception of this professor change over the semester? If so, can you tell me how? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ Summary Report: • After your research team has gathered information from six students, compile the answers to each question and develop a written summary for each. Your summary should accurately reflect what other students have reported. Decide which member of the team will be presenting the summary to the class.

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Individual Report: • Based on the information gathered by your group, students should individually develop a one page list of suggestions for themselves (about their own potential biases related to perceptions of professors) and for professors (who might like to know some of the student-reported things that influence student perceptions of professors).

NAME:_________________________________________DATE:_________________

HANDOUT 5.7: RETHINKING RELATIONSHIPS Before beginning the material in the chapter, take a few minutes to complete this brief Rethinking Relationships Report to consider ways in which perceptions about a person changed from negative to positive.

• • • • •

Identify a person you did not like when you first met him or her. (Although you are being asked to talk about an actual relationship, do not use real names in your report.

This will protect feelings and relationships.)

What is the nature of your relationship with this person (personal friend, acquaintance, work colleague, neighbor)?

Briefly discuss what you think contributed to your initial negative feelings about this person. What did you initially not like about this person? Why do you think you felt this way? Be honest and specific.

When in the relationship did you change your opinion? What do you think contributed to this change? Again, be honest and specific.

Characterize your current relationship with this person.

At the end of class, revisit the assignment to identify any biases that contributed to your initial opinion of and reaction to the person discussed above.

• • •

What bias or biases presented in the chapter do you think might have contributed to your initial feelings? Be specific.

Ask yourself: Is this a bias that I consistently use, or is it unique to my relationship with the person discussed above? What evidence do I have from my own behavior to support my answer?

Finally, what have you learned about yourself and your personally held biases? How can this information help strengthen your future relationships with others?

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NAME:_____________________________________DATE:______________________

HANDOUT 5.8: TWO MINUTE CHECK Please take two minutes to answer the following questions about the chapter we are beginning.

•

List two things you already know about perceptions and human relations.

1.

______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________

2.

______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________

•

List two things you would like to learn about perceptions and human relations. Please be specific.

1.

______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________

2.

______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________

NAME:_____________________________________DATE:________________________

HANDOUT 5.9: SHARING TWO MINUTE CHECK RESULTS Thank you for sharing your ideas in the two minute check we did this week.

• •

Here are some things you already know about perceptions and human relations.

Here are some things you would like to learn about the perceptions and human relations.

NAME:_____________________________________DATE:______________________

HANDOUT 5.10: TWO MINUTE CHECK RESULTS CHECKLIST Chapter:___________________________________________________ Topic

Date Covered

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□ Perceptions and conformity □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □

12/3/16

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Chapter 6: Social Influence in Our Relations With Others Chapter Overview This chapter explores the principles of social influence, examining the processes by which situational forces can override our individual motivations and intentions. There are three steps on this ladder of social influence: conformity, compliance, and obedience. Together, they exert tremendous power, referred to as the power of the situation.

Learning Objectives • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Discuss the benefits and limitations of conformity Describe the motives that promote conformity Explain how situational factors effect conformity levels Explain how the basic principles of compliance influence our relations with others Explain how the principle of reciprocity influences behavior Describe how the principle of commitment affects behavior Summarize how the principle of social proof influences behavior Explain the principle of ‘liking’ Describe how the principle of authority effects behavior Explain how the principle of scarcity influences our behavior Describe how culture influences the principles of compliance Distinguish the differences between obedience, conformity, and compliance Explain the Milgram Experiment’s relevance on social influence Explain the importance of the fundamental attribution error on social influence Summarize the situational factors that generally influence the degree of obedience Examine the effects of gender and culture on obedience Explain how social influence affected the Stanford Prison Experiment

Key Terms and Concepts Stanford Prison Experiment Conformity Normative social influence Informational social influence Compliance Principle of reciprocity Consensus

Principle of liking Principle of authority Principle of scarcity Theory of psychological reactance Obedience Milgram Experiment

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Chapter Outline I.

II.

III.

Overview A. Zimbardo’s classic study was conducted to determine the psychological influences of prison life on inmates and guards.

1. STANFORD PRISON EXPERIMENT is a classic study of social influence on behavior and perception.

Conformity A. CONFORMITY is a voluntary change in a belief or behavior with the intent to follow a perceived social norm. Social norms are rules about the appropriate way to think or behave in a culture or subculture.

B. Preview Questions 1. Why do people conform?

2. In what situations are people more likely to conform?

3. How does conformity improve human relations? How does it hinder good human relations?

C. What Basic Motives Underpin Conformity?

1. NORMATIVE SOCIAL INFLUENCES occur when we conform in order to “fit in” a certain group. It affects people in cultures all around the world.

2. INFORMATIONAL SOCIAL INFLUENCES occur when conformity helps us make the right decision in a situation where we aren’t sure what to do.

D. Critical Thinking Question: Apply these motives for conformity to your relationships, either at work, at school, or interpersonally. Which type (informational or normative) tends to influence you the most? Does it vary from situation to situation?

E. What Situational Conditions Influence Conformity?

1. Several factors influence the likelihood of conformity: ambiguity of the situation, group size, and culture.

2. See Figure 6.3: Ambiguity and Conformity for examples of tests of conformity.

Compliance A. Preview Questions 1. How is compliance different from conformity?

2. What are the six basic principles of compliance, and how does each one influence our relations with others?

3. Which principle(s) of compliance is often found in unhealthy relationships?

4. Which principle(s) of compliance has interfered most with the effectiveness of your own human relations? How can it be overcome?

B. Basic Principles of Compliance 1. COMPLIANCE is agreeing to a specific request. It differs from conformity because it is a voluntary behavior.

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2. The six basic principles of compliance: reciprocity, commitment, social proof, liking, authority, and scarcity. a. PRINCIPLE OF RECIPROCITY is the belief that it is important to reciprocate, or “pay back,” favors.

1) Evolutionary psychology suggests the strong obligation to reciprocate is a type of social exchange. People who take without giving = moochers; people who give without accepting anything in return are also disliked.

2) Honest reciprocation of good actions can strengthen a relationship. b. PRINCIPLE OF COMMITMENT is a small initial commitment to a person or idea that increases the likelihood that we will make a more significant commitment later.

1) Human preference for consistency is at the heart of the principle of commitment.

2) The powerful result of an initial commitment is known as the “foot-in-the-door” technique. This suggests once a small commitment is made to someone or something, the need for consistency motivates allegiance to that commitment.

3) Unhealthy Relationships and the Principle of Commitment 4) Critical Thinking Question: Consider ways in which you have used the principle of commitment to influence others to comply with your wishes. Did you use this principle intentionally or unintentionally?

5) Overcoming the effects of the principles of commitment i. Cialdini suggests two aids in overcoming this principle, including uncomfortable physiological reactions and asking if the action would be repeated. c. PRINCIPLE OF SOCIAL PROOF refers to going along with a belief or behavior because it looks like many others are doing the same thing.

1) Research indicates social proof to be most effective under two conditions: when people are unsure and when people see similarity in people or behaviors.

2) Peer pressure is a significant form of social proof. d. PRINCIPLE OF LIKING is agreeing to do something because the person making the request is likable.

1) Critical Thinking Questions: Other principles of compliance play a role in these parties. Can you identify them and explain how they work in this type of party?

2) Why liking works

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IV.

i. Several factors influence people to like someone else, including physical attractiveness, similarity, provider of praise, and association. e. PRINCIPLE OF AUTHORITY suggests we are more likely to agree to a request made by an authority figure.

1) Critical Thinking Question: Can you name at least one situation in which you’ve gone along with something because the request came from an authority figure? f. PRINCIPLE OF SCARCITY suggests that people or products seem more important when their availability seems limited. g. See Table 6.1: Principles of Compliance for a detailed chart of principles, descriptions, and examples.

3. See Activity 6.2: Compliance Principles at the Mall and Activity 6.3: Principles of Compliance in Personal Relationships and the Workplace—A Personal Essay to identify the various principles at work in public and private settings.

Obedience A. Preview Questions 1. How is obedience different from conformity and compliance?

2. What did the Milgram experiment teach us about obedience?

3. What situational factors affect obedience to authority?

4. How do these lessons help us improve our relations with others?

B. What Is Obedience?

1. OBEDIENCE is agreeing to a request from an authority figure when there is a negative consequence for refusal. It is the strongest of all social influences.

C. The Milgram Experiment 1. MILGRAM EXPERIMENT was a classic study of obedience to authority.

2. Milgram attempted to demonstrate that Americans would never obey authority if it meant hurting an innocent person. It was designed to see how normal middle-class white men would act when asked by an authority figure to harm another person.

3. What happened in the study?

D. What Are the Situational Factors in Obedience Situations?

1. Proximity to the victim may add psychological distance.

2. Proximity of the experimenter influenced obedience.

3. Working with other(s) influenced outcome obedience levels.

E. Gender and Culture in Obedience 1. Research findings indicate that obedience levels in women and people from other cultures were similar.

2. People in collectivistic cultures tended to be influenced by others more than did people in individualistic cultures.

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V.

3. See Activity 6.4: Essay: Personal Experiences with Power and Powerlessness to explore the link between personal experiences and information in this chapter.

Reflections on the Stanford Prison Experiment A. Each type of social influence played a role in the events of the Stanford Prison Experiment.

B. Can you identify each of these?

Preview Questions Conformity 1. Why do people conform?

2. In what situations are people more likely to conform?

3. How does conformity improve human relations? How does it hinder human relations?

Compliance 1. How is compliance different from conformity?

2. What are the six basic principles of compliance, and how does each one influence our relations with others?

3. What principle(s) of compliance is often found in unhealthy relationships?

4. Which principle(s) of compliance has interfered most with the effectiveness of your own human relations? How can it be overcome?

Obedience 1. How is obedience different from conformity and compliance?

2. What did the Milgram experiment teach us about obedience?

3. What situational factors affect obedience to authority?

4. How do these lessons help us to improve our relations with others?

Critical Thinking Questions Motives for Conformity 1. Apply these motives for conformity to your relationships, either at work, at school, or interpersonally.

2. Which type (informational or normative) tends to influence you the most?

3. Does it vary from situation to situation?

Compliance 1. In what situations has the principle of reciprocity influenced you to go along with something?

2. Were you glad you complied, or did you have mixed feelings about it?

3. Other principles of compliance play a role in these parties, too. Can you identify them and explain how they work in this type of party?

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4. Can you name at least one situation in which you’ve gone along with someone because a request came from an authority figure?

Class Activities Checking Your Consensus Conflicts To become an effective member in a consensus building process, ask students to briefly reflect on how each of the following contribute to or detract from their ability to engage in effective consensus building. Examples should be used to support their responses.

• Personal assets and liabilities brought to consensus building processes.

• Personality style.

• Personal “hot buttons” under pressure.

• Physical reactions when stressed.

• General emotional well-being.

After reflecting on the above, students should develop strategy statements for effectively dealing with behaviors that inhibit their ability to be constructive members of a consensus building team.

Explain to students that their statements will not be collected, but rather should be used as a selfhelp resource.

Bullying Bibliography Evidence supporting the negative impact of bullying is clear. Bullying can create short- and long-term problems for children and adolescents. It is logical to assume that understanding a phenomenon that interferes with the development of healthy human relationship-building skills early in development is a useful endeavor.

The purpose of this exercise is to help students explore the nature, prevalence, cause, treatment, and prevention of bullying through the development of a class bibliography on bullying.

Begin the project by asking students to free associate or brainstorm about bullying. This can be conducted with the entire class or in smaller groups. The idea is to help students begin to feel comfortable about the topic and to allow them to develop some group themes about what should be included in the class bibliography.

After the brainstorming session is completed, help the class to explore themes or main ideas in their responses. What does the class know or feel about bullying? Does it appear to be a concern?

Is there something that clearly stands out as an issue or set of ideas?

Encourage students to participate in the gleaning and meaning of the responses.

Next, tell the class they will all be responsible for the development of a bullying information bibliography.

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Divide the class into working groups. Assign each group a subtopic related to bullying.

These topics can be taken from the brainstorming session and/or augmented with such

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topics as: What is bullying? Who bullies? How much bullying occurs in the United States? In our state? In our community? What happens to victims of bullying? What happens to bullies? What about bystanders? What can parents do about bullying? What can teachers do about bullying? What can concerned citizens do about bullying? What can college students do about bullying? Is bullying a part of every child’s life? Does bullying stop after childhood? What happens when bullying occurs in adolescence?

•

An overall outline for the assignment may be developed by the instructor or by the class.

The class can then be divided into smaller groups. Each group should clearly define their subtopic and these should be posted for all class members to see. This will enable groups to help one another and to avoid overlap of assignments.

•

After the subtopics have been finalized, group members can start building their bibliography. Groups must submit a minimum of the following: o 5 research-based (empirical) resources for referenced journals; o 5 Internet-based resources; o 5 books or book chapters by experts in the field; o 5 media-related resources (e.g., videos, newspaper information); and o 5 other resources selected by the group.

•

Each bibliographic resource must contain the following: o Complete citation of the resource in APA style. (See the following web sites for resources: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/560/01/ and http://apastyle.apa.org/) o Brief description (2 paragraphs or less) of the resource. o Brief statement that includes comment on all of the following: ▪ Authority (Who created the information? What credentials does the author have that makes him or her an expert on the topic?)

▪ Objectivity (Is the information objective? Is there a slant or bias in the information? How do you know?)

▪ Authenticity (Is this a primary resource? If not, from where did the information originate? Are there references in the resource that can be checked?)

▪ Reliability (Is the information accurate? What criteria were used to determine this? Is there a sponsor for the resource? If so, does this present a bias or slant? What is the purpose of the information?)

▪ Timeliness (Is the information current? Are dates of creation and updating apparent? Are sources and/or links current on Web-based resources?)

▪ Relevance (Does the resource contribute to the understanding of bullying or related topics? Is the information in a usable format that can be easily understood? Does the resource support other information found or add new insight into understanding of the topic?)

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Concluding statement on suggested used for the resource. Group bibliographic information can be compiled into a class resource.

Class Activities within the Text Activity 6.1: Exploring Your Own Conformity Students are asked to consider the various situations in which they conform and to identify four personal examples of their conformity. Handout 6.1 is a hard copy of the form.

Activity 6.2: Compliance Principles Students are invited to take a trip to a nearby shopping mall and visit some department stores and other smaller shops. As they are pretending to shop, students are asked to take note of principles of compliance in action. Handout 6.2 is a hard copy of the form.

Activity 6.3: Principles of Compliance in Personal Relationships and the Workplace—A Personal Essay In this activity, students consider the various ways that the principles of compliance have influenced their own choices in relationships or in their actions in the workplace. Handout 6.3 is a hard copy of the form.

Activity 6.4: Essay: Personal Experiences with Power and Powerlessness Topics are presented for use as essay assignments or in small group discussions. The topics explore the links between students’ own experiences and the information in the chapter.

Handouts Handout 6.1 (Activity 6.1): Exploring Your Own Conformity Handout 6.2 (Activity 6.2): Compliance Principles at the Mall Handout 6.3 (Activity 6.3): Principles of Compliance in Personal Relationships and the Workplace—A Personal Essay Handout 6.4 (Activity 6.4): Essay: Personal Experiences with Power and Powerlessness Handout 6.5: Two Minute Check Handout 6.6: Sharing Two Minute Check Results Handout 6.7: Two Minute Results Checklist

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NAME:_________________________________ DATE:_______________

HANDOUT 6.1: EXPLORING YOUR OWN CONFORMITY Instructions: Consider the various situations in which you conform. Identify four personal examples of your own conformity and answer the following questions for each one: 1.

Briefly describe (in a sentence or two) the situation in which you conform.

2.

Is your motive for this conformity informational or normative social influence? Briefly justify your answer.

3.

Are any situational influences (for example, ambiguity, group size, culture) on conformity present in this example? Explain your answer.

4.

Do you consider this example to be a positive or a negative example of conformity? In other words, is this conformity beneficial to you or not?

Example 1: a. ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ b.

______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________

c.

______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________

d.

______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________

Example 2: a. ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ b.

______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________

c.

______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________

d.

______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________

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Example 3: a. ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ b.

______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________

c.

______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________

d.

______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________

Example 4: a. ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ b.

______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________

c.

______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________

d.

______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________

SUMMARY AND CONCLUSIONS What insights have you gained from this exercise? What conclusions can you draw from your answers? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

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NAME:______________________________________ DATE:_____________________

HANDOUT 6.2: COMPLIANCE PRINCIPLES AT THE MALL Instructions: Take a trip to a nearby shopping mall and visit some of the department stores and smaller retail stores. Pretend to be shopping, so that salespeople treat you like an average customer. Bring a small notepad or your cell phone with you, and keep a sharp eye out for the principles of compliance that are in action all around the mall. Each time you find one, make some notes about what it is, how it works, and any “gut” reactions you have to it. Discuss your findings about any four of the principles you found in your investigation.

1.

2.

3.

4.

Describe what you saw or heard, telling how the principle was used in this situation.

Describe your initial “gut” reactions to the principle.

After you reflected on it, did your reactions change? If so, explain how.

Overall, how did this experiment influence your understanding of compliance principles?

Discuss your reflections on this experience. ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

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NAME:_______________________________________ DATE:____________________

HANDOUT 6.3: PRINCIPLES OF COMPLIANCE IN PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS AND THE WORKPLACE—A PERSONAL ESSAY Instructions: Consider the various ways that the principles of compliance have influenced your own choices in your relationships or your actions in the workplace. For example, when did they play a role in your choice to pursue a relationship or a job? How have they influenced the continuing development of your relationships or work habits, and/or your decisions to stay in relationships or jobs that aren’t ideal? Have they also influenced decisions you’ve made to leave relationships or jobs? Identify two or three examples that seem to best illustrate the impact of these psychological principles on your relationships and discuss them in a 2- to 3-page paper.

Your discussion of each example should include: 1. The name of the principle that affected you 2. How it played a role in that relationship or workplace choice 3. Your reflections on that choice, knowing what you know now about how your choice was influenced by a principle of compliance NAME:___________________________ DATE:_______________________________

HANDOUT 6.4: ESSAY: PERSONAL EXPERIENCES WITH POWER AND POWERLESSNESS Instructions: This chapter revealed the strength of an authority figure as an influence our behavior. For this exercise, choose one of the following options to explore your own experiences with authority. Your instructor will tell you whether you should write a paper on this topic, or instead discuss your experience with others in a small group.

A. Think of a time that you were in a fairly long-term position of authority.

1.

Describe your role, along with the number and roles of the people over whom you had authority.

2.

How did you exert your authority? In other words, how did you get people to do what you wanted them to do? If you used principles of compliance, discuss which ones, how you used them, and how people responded to them. If you enforced your authority with negative consequences for disobedience, describe how you did this and how people responded. Give an example or two to illustrate your description.

3.

Describe the most difficult situation you faced during your time in that authority position, along with how you dealt with it. Upon reflection, how well do you think you handled it, and why?

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4.

In what ways did your experience as an authority figure affect your concept of yourself? In other words, what new facets of yourself (positive and/or negative) did you discover as a result of your experiences?

B. Think of a time you were in a fairly long-term subordinate position.

1.

Describe your role, along with your relationship to the authority figure.

2.

How did your authority figure exert his or her authority over you? In other words, how did the person get you to do what she or he wanted you to do? If the person used principles of compliance, discuss which ones, how they were used, and how you responded to them (in terms of your actions, as well as your feelings about them). If the person enforced authority with negative consequences for disobedience, describe how this was used and how it affected you. Give an example or two to illustrate your description.

3.

When the authority figure did something that frustrated, angered, or hurt you, how did you respond (both publicly and privately)? What are your reflections on that situation and your response to it?

4.

In what ways did your experience in a subordinate position affect your concept of yourself? In other words, what new facets of yourself (positive and/or negative) did you discover as a result of your experience?

NAME:_________________________________DATE:__________________________

HANDOUT 6.5: TWO MINUTE CHECK Please take two minutes to answer the following questions about the chapter we are beginning.

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List two things you already know about perceptions in human relations.

1.

______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________

2.

______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________

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List two things you would like to learn about perceptions in human relations. Please be specific.

1.

_____________________________________________________________________

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______________________________________________________________________ 2.

_____________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________

NAME:_________________________________DATE:__________________________

HANDOUT 6.6: SHARING TWO MINUTE CHECK RESULTS Thank you for sharing your ideas in the two minute check we did this week.

• •

Here are some things you already know about perceptions in human relations.

Here are some things you would like to learn about perceptions in human relations.

NAME:_________________________________DATE:__________________________

HANDOUT 6.7: TWO MINUTE CHECK RESULTS CHECKLIST Chapter:___________________________________________________ Topic

Date Covered

□ Perceptions in human relations □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □

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12/3/16

□ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □

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Chapter 7: Prejudice: Foundations, Causes, Effects, and Remedies Chapter Overview This chapter examines the roots of the prejudices that all humans struggle with and the suspicions that have become more pronounced as the threat of terror attacks has escalated worldwide. It describes the universal causes of these attitudes and behaviors and how some of them may be overcome with ongoing effort and education.

Learning Objectives • • • • • • • • • •

Summarize the theories that serve as the foundations of prejudice Describe the causes and consequences of ingroup bias Summarize the four steps to flexible ethnocentrism Discuss the psychological contributors and consequences of stereotyping Analyze the advantages and disadvantages of group formation Distinguish scenarios of stereotyping from prejudice and discrimination Determine trends in prejudice Summarize the causes of prejudice Determine the impact of prejudice and discrimination on our relations with others Summarize the strategies to combat personal prejudice

Key Terms and Concepts Social identity theory Ingroup bias Outgroup bias Ethnocentrism Inflexible ethnocentrism Flexible ethnocentrism Stereotype Self-fulfilling prophecies Outgroup homogeneity effect

Prejudice Realistic group conflict theory Social learning theory Relative deprivation Discrimination Stereotype threat Superordinate goal Jigsaw classroom

Chapter Outline I.

Prejudice: Foundations, Causes, Effects, and Remedies A. Preview Questions 1. How strongly must we identify with a group to be biased in its favor?

How does this bias influence outgroups?

2. What is flexible ethnocentrism, and how can we develop it in ourselves?

3. Do all people stereotype? What factors influence stereotyping?

4. Are the foundations of prejudice found in all cultures? Why or why not?

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B. Foundations of Prejudice 1. See Figure 7.1: What does the word “prejudice” trigger in your mind and emotions?

2. Key contributing factors to the foundations of prejudice from crosscultural research are group formation, ethnocentrism, and stereotypes.

These factors are inevitable. a. The First Leg: Group Formation 1) Throughout history humans have formed groups and valued group membership. Ingroup and outgroup bias are found in cultures worldwide and appear to be inextricably linked to the need to belong to a group.

2) A key factor to understanding the importance of groups in human behavior is social identity. i. Social identity includes groups with which people are connected and is considered the “we” part of self-concept.

3) SOCIAL IDENTITY THEORY is the idea that, in our efforts to maintain positive self-esteem, we may develop bias that favors our own groups over other groups. i. Tajfel’s classic study identified a favoritism known as INGROUP BIAS, which is identified as favoring others with whom we identify over those whom we perceive as different. ii. The more strongly a person identifies with a group, the stronger the bias. People who identify with a diverse set of social groups and have more complex social identities exhibit less outgroup bias than people whose social identities connect only to groups that are very similar to one another.

4) Critical Thinking Questions: What ingroup biases do you see in your own relationships? How are these biases beneficial? How are they harmful?

5) OUTGROUP BIAS involves downgrading others who are different or not in your group. b. The Second Leg: Ethnocentrism 1) ETHNOCENTRISM is the tendency to see the world through the lenses of our own culture.

2) Matsumoto (2000) suggests ethnocentrism is a byproduct of upbringing in all cultures. It can have two outcomes including inflexible ethnocentric (ingroup and outgroup biases) and flexible ethnocentrism. i. INFLEXIBLE ETHNOCENTRISM is judging others as wrong simply because they are different.

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ii. FLEXIBLE ETHNOCENTRISM is recognizing our own tendency toward ethnocentrism, and working toward a deeper understanding and empathy for norms of different cultures.

3) Becoming More Flexibly Ethnocentric 4) The key to avoiding the negative outcome of ethnocentrism lies in an awareness of personal ethnocentrism. i. This awareness develops by becoming consciously aware of rules of our own culture and recognizing how these rules affect the perception and judgment of others.

1. Critical Thinking Question: Identify one norm that you adhere to from one of your own cultural groups. ii. The next step involves recognition of the rules, beliefs, and behaviors of other cultures.

1. Critical Thinking Question: Continuing with the example from the norm you identified previously, name one variation you’ve noticed. In other words, describe what people do or exhibit that differs from your own norm. iii. The third step involves learning about other cultures’ specific beliefs and norms.

1. Critical Thinking Question: Based on what you identified in the previous two critical thinking questions, do a little research and try to determine what drives the different norms you’ve observed in others. iv. The final step in becoming flexibly ethnocentric is to build an ever-broadening perspective from which to draw when meeting others.

5) See Figure 7.3: Steps to Flexible Ethnocentrism for a visual summary of the steps to flexible ethnocentrism.

6) See Activity 7.1: The Living Library: Becoming More Flexibly Ethnocentric for guidelines to talk to another person who seems very different than you about background, beliefs, and interests. c. The Third Leg: Stereotypes 1) What Is a Stereotype? i. STEREOTYPE is a generalization about a group of people that assumes that members of the group share common characteristics.

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ii. Stereotypes can be positive and negative and accurate and inaccurate. iii. Stereotypes are a general impression of a group of people, and it cannot be assumed that a particular person from that group will fit a stereotype. iv. Critical Thinking Questions: Think about the stereotype you identified at the beginning of this section. Can you think of one or two examples of people you know (or know of) who do not fit the stereotype you wrote in the blank?

2) Why Do People Stereotype? i. Stereotyping is a natural part of the thinking process that serves as a mental shortcut to information about how to interact with a person.

3) What Are Some of the Consequences of Negative Stereotypes? i. Inaccurate stereotypes can lead to SELFFULFILLING PROPHECIES in which a person begins to act in a manner consistent with the expectations placed upon him or her by others.

4) Social Contributors to Stereotypes i. Confirmation biases (tendency to notice and remember events that are in line with personal expectations and beliefs and to forget events that do not fit an existing belief system) often support stereotypes. ii. OUTGROUP HOMOGENEITY EFFECT is the tendency to assume that members of an outgroup are more alike than members of an ingroup.

Stereotypes may occur when lack of information about an outgroup lead a person to believe there are fewer intragroup differences (e.g., those people always…).

1. Can you think of how the outgroup homogeneity effect plays a role in your own stereotypes? iii. Stereotypes can also be created and perpetuated through interfamilial teaching. iv. See Figure 7.5: Why We Stereotype for a diagrammatic summary of the reasons why people stereotype.

5) Who Stereotypes More Often, and When? i. The need for structure affects a person’s tendency to stereotype.

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II.

ii. People in more powerful positions tend to stereotype people in less powerful positions. iii. People in good moods are more likely to engage in stereotyping, but so are people who are angry, fearful, or anxious. iv. Extensive demands on thinking foster stereotyping.

6) See Activity 7.2: Exploring Your Own Stereotypes to explore your own stereotypes.

C. The Foundations of Prejudice: A Final Word (or Two) 1. Group formation and accompanying ingroup/outgroup biases, ethnocentrism, and stereotyping are a universal phenomenon that grow out of a need for survival. a. Group affiliation = serves as part of humans earliest beginnings. b. Ethnocentrism = helps humans to fit into social groups. c. Stereotyping = acts as a cognitive shortcut to information processing.

Prejudice and Discrimination A. Preview Questions 1. What is prejudice, and how prevalent is it in today’s society?

2. What factors influence prejudice, and how?

3. How do prejudice and discrimination impact our relations with others?

4. What are some effective strategies for overcoming prejudice?

5. How can you incorporate these concepts into your own life and relations with others?

B. PREJUDICE is the prejudgment, or superficial judgment, about a particular group of people.

1. Prejudice is a universal phenomenon present in all cultures in varying forms and degrees.

2. Judgments can be negative or positive in nature.

3. Common prejudices in American culture include those based on race, sex, age, weight, religion, disability, and sexual orientation.

4. Some prejudices in the United States have declined over the past 50 years (e.g., segregation of schools, women executives in the workplace), but implementation and enforcement of equal rights may have underpinned some of these changes.

5. Prejudice may be more subtle because of changes in laws, but the effects are still pronounced.

6. There is growing evidence that prejudice can be overcome.

C. What Are the Causes of Prejudice?

1. REALISTIC GROUP CONFLICT THEORY suggests people become prejudiced against others with whom they must compete for limited resources such as jobs, money, or status. a. See the Sherif’s (1966) Robbers’ Cave experiment.

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b. Critical Thinking Questions: Think about one of the types of prejudice you see most often in your own environment. Has realistic group conflict theory played a role in facilitating the development of that prejudice?

If so, how?

2. SOCIAL LEARNING THEORY suggests that developing behaviors and attitudes are based on role models in our environment. Children learn from and emulate significant others. a. Critical Thinking Questions: Think about prejudices you learned as a child from your family and social group. Understanding that, in many cases, these prejudices are unintentional, which of the foundations of prejudice do you think contributed to the development of them?

3. RELATIVE DEPRIVATION is the perception that others have more than you do, or that another group is better off than your own group. a. Social comparisons contributed partially to self-worth. When comparisons are inferior, negativity, frustration, and prejudice may be targeted toward the person(s) with advantage. Feelings of resentment are the natural outgrowth of perceived unfairness.

D. DISCRIMINATION is the unfair treatment of a person or group solely on the basis of their group membership. It is the behavior component of prejudice.

E. Effects of Prejudice and Discrimination 1. Effects on Self-Esteem a. Results of Crocker’s (1991) research suggest that black students’ perception of discrimination had a positive and negative effect.

Self-esteem was maintained in the face of negative feedback, but the opportunity for internalizing positive feedback was reduced.

2. Effects on Sense of Control a. People who perceive personal discrimination feel less personal control over their lives. b. The discrepancy between perceived personal and group discrimination among targeted groups may be a way of acknowledging discrimination while maintaining a sense of personal control over life, work, and relationships.

3. STEREOTYPE THREAT occurs when an individual’s identity is heavily based on a characteristic for which there are strong stereotypes, that individual will maintain a heightened awareness of the likelihood of being stereotyped and feel afraid of that possibility (Steele, 1997). a. People who experience stereotype threat may avoid situations that support this threat to protect self-esteem. This may contribute to a self-fulfilling prophecy.

4. See Figure 7.8: Causes and Consequences of Prejudice and Discrimination for a summary of the causes and consequences of prejudice and discrimination.

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5. See Activity 7.3: Prejudice and Discrimination in Your Life to explore your own experiences with prejudice and discrimination.

F. Overcoming Prejudice 1. SUPERORDINATE GOAL is shared by conflicting groups that can only be attained if the groups work together. a. With successful achievement of a Superordinate goal, intergroup hostility and prejudice may be mitigated. b. JIGSAW CLASSROOM is an educational environment where students work together to learn, rather than compete against each other.

1) Aronson (1978) research responded to increased racial tension related to school segregation.

2) The jigsaw classroom had two phases: expert groups were responsible for learning a portion of the day’s lesson→one student from each export group taught material to other children in the jigsaw group. c. See Activity 7.4: Overcoming Prejudice for a first-hand experience with using Superordinate goals to overcome prejudice.

2. Changing Social Norms Through Mindfulness a. The decline of prejudice is related to current social norms as each generation is born into an increasingly diverse, multicultural world. b. Prejudice can also be reduced through individual efforts to challenge personal stereotypes.

Preview Questions The Foundations of Prejudice 1. What is prejudice, and how prevalent is it in today’s society?

2. What factors influence prejudice, and how?

3. How do prejudice and discrimination impact our relations with others?

4. What are some effective strategies for overcoming prejudice?

5. How can you incorporate these concepts into your own life and relations with others?

Prejudice and Discrimination 1. What is prejudice, and how prevalent is it in today’s society?

2. What factors influence prejudice, and how?

3. How do prejudice and discrimination impact our relations with others?

4. What are some effective strategies for overcoming prejudice?

5. How can you incorporate these concepts into your own life and relations with others?

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Critical Thinking Questions Group Formation 1. What ingroup biases do you see in your own relationships? How are these biases beneficial? How are they harmful?

Ethnocentrism 1. Identify one norm you adhere to one from one of your own cultural groups.

2. Continue with the example from the norm you identified previously, name one variation you’ve noticed. In other words, describe what people do or exhibit that differs from your own norm.

3. Continuing with the example from the norm you identified previously, name one variation you’ve noticed. In other words, describe what people do or exhibit that differs from your own norm.

Stereotypes 1. Think about the stereotypes you identified at the beginning of this section. Can you think of one or two examples of people you know (or know of) that do not fit the stereotype you wrote in the blank?

2. Can you think of how the outgroup homogeneity effect plays a role in your own stereotypes?

Causes of Prejudices 1. Think about one of the types of prejudice you see most often in your own environment.

2. Has realistic group conflict theory played a role in facilitating the development of that prejudice? If so, how?

Class Activities Prejudice in the Middle East The goal of this activity is to help students understand the role that anti-Semitism and anti-Arab prejudice play in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

Assignment In this assignment, students are asked to visit two websites—one pro-Palestinian and one proIsraeli—and write a report on the role of prejudice in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. There are three parts to the assignment: 1. Ask students to spend at least 30 minutes visiting the Palestinian Centre for Human Rights (PCHR) website (http://www.pchrgaza.ps/), adopting the perspective of a Palestinian concerned that Israel is violating human rights.

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2. Ask students to spend at least 30 minutes reading through the Middle East Media Research Institute (MEMRI) archives (http://www.memri.org/), adopting the perspective of an Israeli concerned about Palestinian terrorism.

3. Using information found on these websites, write a 3-5 page paper answering the following questions: o What did you learn from these websites? Any surprises? o What are the main ways that prejudice affects this conflict? o Is the Israeli-Palestinian conflict unusual in the degree to which prejudice is involved, or is it typical of international conflicts? o In your view, what practical steps can be taken to reduce prejudice in the Middle East? o What steps, if any, can be taken by people living outside the Middle East? o What lessons from the Middle East can be applied to other conflicts?

Source: The above activity comes from the College Classroom Activities of the Understanding Prejudice website (http://www.understandingprejudice.org/teach/activity/sbgenral.htm).

Game Over: Gender, Race, and Violence in Video Games Video and computer games represent a $6 billion a year industry. One out of every 10 households in America owns a Sony PlayStation. Children who own video game equipment play an average of 10 hours per week. And yet, despite capturing the attention of millions of children worldwide, video games remain one of the least scrutinized cultural industries. Game Over offers a compelling dialogue about the complex and controversial topic of video game violence.

The film is divided into six parts, each focusing on a distinct theme. These themes are related to the link between masculine perceptions of success in video games and violence, destruction, and murder; ways in which sexual stereotypes encourage male consumers’ sexual fantasies; racist portrayals of racial minority groups that support stereotypes and a “white” racial norm; the gratuitous violent nature of many games; and the possibility that redundant violence of the games impacts the thoughts and actions of their consumers.

Source:

Media Education Foundation $195.00/41 minutes FAX: (800) 659-6882 or (413) 586-8398 TELEPHONE: (800) 897-0089 or (413) 584-8500 E-mail: info@mediaed.org

The DVD comes with an Instructor’s Discussion Guide that includes a biography of interviewees, reference section, and six exercises with study questions, concluding activity guide, and an extra credit assignment.

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A Plan for Taking Steps to Flexible Ethnocentrism Hamilton suggests that the key to avoiding the effects of negative and destructive ethnocentrism is to become more aware of our own ethnocentrism. Ask students: How many steps have you taken toward achieving this goal?

• Instruct students to look at each step on the figure provided. For each step, students should write a brief statement in the space provided about how they have achieved the goals/behaviors listed. Encourage them to be specific and tell what proof they could provide (if asked) to document they have achieved a step.

• For steps they have not yet taken (i.e., goals they have not yet reached), ask students to write a brief statement for each step that details how they plan to achieve these steps.

Again, encourage them to be specific and tell how others will be able to see that they have achieved each step.

Class Activities within the Text Activity 7.1: The Living Library: Becoming More Flexibly Ethnocentric Part 1: The first part of the activity involves identification of a cultural group that seems very different from their own through interview questions.

Part 2: The second part of the activity involves reflection on the experience, including discussion of assumptions about the interviewed person and his or her culture, interesting ideas gained, and overall summary of what the interview experience taught about human relations. Handout 7.1 is a hard copy of the form.

Activity 7.2: Exploring Your Own Stereotypes This activity is designed to help students answer 10 questions about their own stereotypes.

Handout 7.2 is a hard copy of the form.

Activity 7.3: Prejudice and Discrimination in Your Life To explore a prejudice toward another group, students are asked to examine the causes of prejudices discussed in this chapter that best explain the origins of their prejudice.

Activity 7.4: Overcoming Prejudice The three-step concluding exercise within this chapter asks students to apply the model of superordinate goals to some type of group prejudice they have seen in their own life.

Handouts Handout 7.1 (Activity 7.1): The Living Library: Becoming More Flexibly Ethnocentric Handout 7.2 (Activity 7.2): Exploring Your Own Stereotypes Handout 7.3 (Activity 7.3): Prejudice and Discrimination in Your Life Handout 7.4 (Activity 7.4): Overcoming Prejudice Handout 7.5: Prejudice in the News Handout 7.6: Plan for Taking Steps to Flexible Ethnocentrism

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Handout 7.7: Two Minute Check Handout 7.8: Two Minute Check Results Handout 7.9: Two Minute Check Results Checklist NAME: __________________________ DATE: _______________________

HANDOUT 7.1: THE LIVING LIBRARY: BECOMING MORE FLEXIBLY ETHNOCENTRIC Instructions: Identify a cultural group that seems very different from your own and that you don’t know much about. It could be an age group that is much older or younger than your own, a religious or political group that you don’t understand, or an ethnic or racial group you don’t know much about, just to name a few possibilities. You can also find examples on the Living Library website. Next, follow the steps in part 1 to create some interview questions geared toward increasing your understanding of that culture. Then, seek someone of that culture and ask if you might talk for a while to learn more about each other. Use the questions you’ve developed as you talk with that person. Finally, reflect on the experience by answering the questions in part 2 of this activity.

PART 1: DEVELOPING INTERVIEW QUESTIONS 1. Develop some interview questions by asking yourself what it is about the culture that seems so different from your own culture. This may include behavior patterns, styles of dress, the basis of belief systems, and so on. Brainstorm a list of things you’ve noticed, then turn those factors into questions. Your questions should be as diplomatic and respectful as possible. _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ PART 2: REFLECTING ON THE EXPERIENCE 1. Whom did you choose to interview and why? Attach a list of the questions you asked to this assignment when you turn it in. ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

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________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 2.

What assumptions did you have about the person and about his or her culture before you did your interview? Give a few specific examples, along with what you based each assumption on. Be honest! ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

3.

What did you learn about the person and his or her culture as a result of your interview?

Discuss three or four of the most interesting and useful ideas you gained. ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

4.

Overall, what did this experience teach you about human relations? How will this experience be helpful to you in the future? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

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________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ NAME: ____________________________ DATE: ____________________

HANDOUT 7.2: EXPLORING YOUR OWN STEREOTYPES Instructions: Answer the following questions about your own stereotypes. Be honest— remember, we all have stereotypes, and if we aren’t honest about them, we can’t hope to improve our human relations.

1.

Name two or three groups that you tend to stereotype the most. ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ a. For each group named in question 1, brainstorm a list of the assumptions you tend to make about that group. ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ b. Which assumptions are positive, and which ones are negative? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ c. Where do you think your stereotypes came from? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

2.

Give an example of a time when the confirmation bias strengthened one of your stereotypes. ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

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________________________________________________________________________ 3.

Give an example of a way in which the outgroup homogeneity effect influenced one of your stereotypes. ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

4.

Give an example of a time when your emotional state (happy, stressed, or angry) activated a stereotype, and describe that situation. ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

5.

If someone were to stereotype you, what would that stereotype be, and why? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

6.

How accurate is the stereotype you described in question 7? Explain your answer. ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

7.

How do you feel when someone stereotypes you? Does it also affect your behavior?

Explain your answer. ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________

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8.

What reflections do you have on this exercise? Discuss one important insight you’ve developed from it, along with how you will use it to improve your relations with others. ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

NAME: ____________________________ DATE: _____________________________

HANDOUT 7.3: PREJUDICE AND DISCRIMINATION IN YOUR LIFE 1.

Identify a prejudice that you have toward another group. Which of the causes of prejudice discussed in this chapter seem to best explain the origin of your prejudice? Explain your answer. ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

2.

Have you ever been the target of prejudice? Describe that situation, along with how it affected you. If you received feedback from the person you thought was prejudiced against you, how did that feedback affect you? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

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________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 3.

a. What is your biggest fear in terms of how someone might stereotype you? In other words, what stereotype do you fear being labeled as the most? How has this fear affected your choices in terms of interests and opportunities you pursue or don’t pursue? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ b. Reflect on the stereotype threat you discussed in part a of this question. Do you feel you’ve missed some opportunities? If you could go back and do things over again, would you do anything differently? What would it take for you to overcome the stereotype threat that you feel? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

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NAME: ______________________________ DATE: _____________________________

HANDOUT 7.4: OVERCOMING PREJUDICE Instructions: Apply the model of superordinate goals to some type of group prejudice that you see in your own life. Use the following steps to help develop your program. For best results, brainstorm with your classmates or other people in your life.

1.

Briefly describe the prejudice you see that you’d like to try to help correct. Who exhibits the prejudice? Who is the target of the prejudice? What behaviors illustrate the prejudice? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

2.

Applying the theory of superordinate goals, how could you get these two groups together to work toward a goal that (a) is meaningful to both groups, and (b) requires them to work together to achieve it (in other words, neither group could accomplish it alone)? a. What goal do you think would be effective? If you can’t decide, think about what values are important to both of these groups. They may include family, health, children, and so forth. List as many possibilities as you can think of, then choose the one you think is the most promising. ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

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b. How can you facilitate these two groups working together to achieve the goal? Remember that the groups need to have equal status and play equal roles in the development and implementation of the plan. ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ NAME: _________________________________ DATE: _______________________

HANDOUT 7.5: PREJUDICE IN THE NEWS This assignment is designed to help us see the connection between prejudice and current affairs in nearly all spheres of life. Because people think categorically, they normally treat prejudice as a separate issue from environmental protection, war and peace, the economy, and other social issues.

In this assignment, your challenge is to look deeply at the connection between prejudice and current affairs, especially as this occurs in the news.

Before Class The assignment involves two parts.

• •

First, you will need to get a copy of tomorrow’s New York Times, USA Today, or another national newspaper Second, create a table with three columns: o The title of each article that appears on the front page. o A brief summary of what the article is about (<100 words). o The connection between prejudice and the article’s topic.

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•

Just bring your table and the newspaper with you next time, and we’ll see how many connections you were able to find.

During Class During the next class period, we will hold a discussion in which you can share the connections found within each major news item. Look to see how many different connections emerge for each article.

Source: The above activity comes from the College Classroom Activities of the Understanding Prejudice website (http://www.understandingprejudice.org/teach/activity/sbgenral.htm).

NAME: _________________________________ DATE: _______________________

HANDOUT 7.6: PLAN FOR TAKING STEPS TO FLEXIBLE ETHNOCENTRISM My Plan for Taking Steps to Flexible Ethnocentrism

Hamilton suggests that the key to avoiding the effects of negative and destructive ethnocentrism is to become more aware of our own ethnocentrism. How many steps have your taken toward achieving this goal?

• •

Look at each step on the figure above. For each step, write a brief statement in the space below about how you have achieved the goals/behaviors listed. Be specific and tell what proof you could provide (if asked) to document you have achieved a step.

For steps you have not yet taken (i.e., goals you have not yet reached), write a brief statement for each step that details how you plan to achieve these steps. Be specific and tell how others will be able to see that you have achieved each step.

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Step 1: ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ Step 2: ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ Step 3: ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ Step 4: ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ NAME: _____________________________________DATE:_____________________

HANDOUT 7.7: TWO MINUTE CHECK Please take two minutes to answer the following questions about the chapter we are beginning.

•

List two things you already know about prejudice.

1.

______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________

2.

______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________

•

List two things you would like to learn about prejudice. Please be specific.

1.

______________________________________________________________________

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______________________________________________________________________ 2.

______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________

NAME: __________________________ DATE: _______________________

HANDOUT 7.8: TWO MINUTE CHECK RESULTS Thank you for sharing your ideas in the two minute check we did this week.

• •

Here are some things you already know about prejudice.

Here are some things you would like to learn about prejudice.

NAME: __________________________ DATE: _______________________

HANDOUT 7.9: TWO MINUTE CHECK RESULTS CHECKLIST Chapter: ___________________________________________________ Topic

Date Covered

□ Prejudice and discrimination □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □

12/3/16

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□ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □

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Chapter 8: Listening Chapter Overview This chapter examines how communication affects the development of trust in a relationship and the important role that listening plays in that process. It describes a variety of listening styles that can enhance a relationship, and applies these listening styles to real-life situations.

Learning Objectives • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Explain why relational climates in communication are important Distinguish confirming from disconfirming relational climates Determine how the levels of confirmation impact relationship climates Determine elements of good listening Recognize common listening behaviors that influence listening Summarize the common barriers to effective listening Describe how to overcome internal barriers to listening Explain the strategies to overcome external barriers to listening Explain how counterfeit listening can affect relations with others Determine appropriate authentic listening styles Describe listening styles that are helpful in limited situations Explain the most helpful listening styles Distinguish between gender and cultural differences in listening styles Differentiate the listening styles between men and women Summarize how to apply effective listening skills Determine how listening styles influence communication

Key Terms and Concepts Relational climate Confirming (supportive) climate Disconfirming (defensive) climate Endorsement Emotional noise Cognitive distraction Compartmentalize Premature judgment Questioning Minimally encouraging Information overload Message complexity Counterfeit listening style

Pseudolistening Selective listening Defensive listening Stagehogging Authentic listening styles Advising Evaluating Analyzing

Supporting Paraphrasing

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Chapter Outline I.

Relational Climate: Feeling Valued A. Preview Questions 1. What is a relational climate?

2. What are the three levels of confirmation that measure the degree of support in a relationship?

3. How do our behaviors influence how safe others feel in their relationships with us?

B. RELATIONAL CLIMATE is the degree to which we feel safe, supported, and understood in a relationship.

1. See Figure 8.1: The Relational Climate.

C. Confirming and Disconfirming Climates 1. Relationship climate falls within a continuum between confirming and disconfirming climates. a. CONFIRMING (SUPPORTIVE) CLIMATE is a positive relational climate based on mutual trust, respect, and support. The other person is trusted and can be depended upon to listen, understand, support, and confirm thoughts and feelings. Feelings of acceptance and respect from others contribute to selfactualization. b. DISCONFIRMING (DEFENSIVE) CLIMATE is a negative relational climate, characterized by defensiveness, negative judgments, and mistrust. The other person does not listen or understand and imposes judgment, rejects thoughts and feelings, and creates feelings of misunderstanding and unworthiness.

2. Most relationships are in the middle because a variety of physical, intellectual, and emotional challenges influence every relationship.

3. The climate of a relationship generally evolves, over time and with experience, to a particular place on the continuum representing a realistic level of support.

D. Levels of Confirmation 1. See Figure 8.2: Levels of Confirmation for presentation of levels, descriptions, and examples.

2. Relational climate research posits three specific levels of confirmation: recognizing another person’s existence, acknowledging another person’s thoughts, feelings, or actions, and endorsement. These levels contribute to relational climate.

3. ENDORSEMENT involves accepting another person’s thoughts and feelings as valid.

E. Critical Thinking Question: Think about two contrasting experiences you have had in terms of relational climate. Identify one relationship in which you feel highly valued, respected, and supported; and another relationship in which you often feel disconfirmed. Analyze each relationship in terms of recognition,

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II.

III.

acknowledgement, and endorsement by giving an example from each relationship of a time you did/didn’t receive one or more of these confirming messages.

F. See Activity 8.1: Relational Climates in Your Life to gain insight into your own relational climate.

Basic Elements of Listening A. Preview Question 1. In addition to physically hearing, what other elements are necessary for good listening?

B. Do You Hear What I Hear…And Say? 1. The most important skill in effective communication is listening.

2. Good listening skills involve hearing, understanding, and responding in ways that clarify and confirm understanding.

C. What Are the Basic Elements of Listening? a. See Figure 8.6: Steps to Complete Listening for a graph depiction of the steps to complete listening. b. The four basic incremental, elements of effective listening include hearing, attending, understanding, and responding.

1) Hearing = physical element of listening.

2) Attending = paying attention to what is being said.

3) Understanding = correctly interpreting the verbal and nonverbal aspects of a message.

4) Responding = providing appropriate response signals to a message.

Overcoming Common Barriers to Listening A. Preview Questions 1. What are three internal barriers to listening, and how can we overcome them?

2. What are three external barriers to listening, and how can they be overcome?

3. Describe four counterfeit listening styles and consider how these affect our interactions with others.

B. What Are Internal Barriers to Listening?

1. EMOTIONAL NOISE includes stress, anxiety, anger, or any other emotion that interferes with our ability to focus our full attention on the speaker. Self-talk is an effective strategy for dealing with emotional noise.

2. COGNITIVE DISTRACTIONS include things that are on our minds (a cognition) that we’re having trouble putting aside in order to focus on the speaker’s message.

3. COMPARTMENTALIZATION involves mentally “filing away” our own issues temporarily and can be used to mediate cognitive distractions and emotional noise.

4. PREMATURE JUDGMENT occurs when we stop listening to a message before the speaker is finished, either because we think we know

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IV.

V.

what the speaker is going to say, or because we have already formed an opinion about the speaker or the message. Improving awareness of stereotypes and personal “hot button” issues help reduce this internal listening barrier.

C. External Barriers to Listening 1. Noise includes any sound that interferes with listening. Sensory adaptation and selective attention work together to filter unwanted noise. a. INFORMATION OVERLOAD involves interference with our listening when we try to process too much information. b. MESSAGE COMPLEXITY occurs when the message itself is too complicated to absorb without turning focus inward, and thus away from the speaker for a time.

D. See Table 8.2: Barriers to Effective Listening and Strategies for Overcoming Them for a summary of barriers and strategies.

See Activity 8.2: Barriers To Effective Listening for an opportunity to identify effective listening barriers and practice overcoming them.

A. What Are Counterfeit Listening Styles?

1. COUNTERFEIT LISTENING STYLES are behaviors that, on the surface, may look like listening, but are actually counterproductive to good listening. They include pseudolistening, selective listening, and stagehogging. a. PSEUDOLISTENING involves giving only the impression of listening by nonverbal behaviors such as nodding, keeping eye contact, and verbal prompts. b. SELECTIVE LISTENING occurs when we screen a message for certain topics or issues, and then either respond only to those aspects of the message or tune those parts out. c. DEFENSIVE LISTENING occurs when we perceive criticism when none is intended. d. STAGEHOGGING occurs when someone is talking to us, and we use something the speaker says as an opening to jump in with a story of our own.

2. See Activity 8.3: Counterfeit Listening in Your Life to identify your own counterfeit listening style weaknesses.

Authentic Listening Styles A. Preview Questions 1. Which two listening styles are controversial, and why?

2. Describe five more helpful listening styles, along with tips for effective use of each one.

B. What Are Authentic Listening Styles?

1. AUTHENTIC LISTENING STYLES are ways of responding to a speaker that show genuine interest in and empathy for the person and situation. These styles can be controversial or helpful.

C. Controversial Listening Styles

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VI.

VII.

1. ADVISING involves a listening response that offers advice. It is most useful when it is requested by the speaker.

2. EVALUATING involves a response that makes a judgment about the person or situation.

D. Helpful Listening Styles 1. ANALYZING involves offering a different perspective on the issue.

2. QUESTIONING involves asking a question geared toward either clarifying your understanding of the speaker, or helping him or her work through the issue.

3. MINIMALLY ENCOURAGING involves encouraging the speaker to continue by giving short and unobtrusive verbal and/or nonverbal responses.

4. SUPPORTING involves saying something intended to validate the speaker’s thoughts or feelings, letting the speaker know that you understand what he or she is thinking or feeling, or expressing support and concern for him or her as a person.

5. PARAPHRASING is a listening response that reflects what the speaker is feeling and thinking, expressed tentatively. a. Complete paraphrases include three components.

1) Speech that reflects what the speaker is feeling.

2) Speech that reflects what you think the speaker might be thinking and hasn’t yet said.

3) Speech that is delivered in a way that encourages the speaker to continue. b. Using paraphrasing effectively.

1) Paraphrases can be incomplete and are not always limited to situations in which helping the speaker is the goal.

E. See Table 8.3: Listening Styles for a summary of listening styles.

F. See Activity 8.4: Authentic Listening Responses to practice applying listening styles to real-life situations.

Gender and Listening Styles A. Preview Questions 1. How are communication goals of men and women different from each other?

2. How do these differences affect listening style, and what can we do about it?

B. One of the most widely recognized cultural differences in listening is between traditional masculine and feminine listening styles (Tannen, 1990).

1. Men = communicate to gain status using a problem-solving approach.

2. Women = communicate to create harmonious relationships using an empathy-oriented approach.

Tips for Successful Application of the Principles of Listening A. Preview Question

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1. Now that we have developed a variety of listening tools, what else can we do to improve our effectiveness in listening?

B. Tips 1. Consider Listening Goals and Personal Limits a. Two goals in listening involve listening to help and listening for understanding. b. Effective listeners must know their limits in terms of time and interest.

2. Consider the Speaker’s Needs a. Effective listeners consider the speaker and know what he or she wants from the listening interaction.

3. Minimize Distractions a. Effective listeners reduce internal and external distractions.

4. Mentally Summarize Key Ideas a. Effective listeners work to summarize the speaker’s message and keep listening for new information and details.

Preview Questions Relational Climate: Feeling Valued 1. What is a relational climate?

2. What are the three levels of confirmation that measure the degree of support in a relationship?

3. How do our behaviors influence how safe others feel in their relationships with us?

Overcoming Common Barriers to Listening 1. What are three internal barriers to listening, and how can we overcome them?

2. What are three external barriers to listening, and how can they be overcome?

3. Describe four counterfeit listening styles and consider how these affect our interactions with others.

Authentic Listening Styles 1. Which two listening styles are controversial, and why?

2. Describe five more helpful listening styles, along with tips for effective use of each one.

Gender and Listening Styles 1. How are the communication goals of men and women different from each other?

2. How do these differences affect listening styles, and what can we do about it?

Tips for Successful Application of the Principles of Listening 1. Now that we have developed a variety of listening tools, what else can we do to improve our effectiveness in listening?

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Critical Thinking Questions Relational Climate 1. Think about two contrasting experiences you have had in terms of relational climate.

2. Identify one relationship in which you feel highly valued, respected, and supported, and another relationship in which you feel disconfirmed.

3. Analyze each relationship in terms of recognition, acknowledgement, and endorsement by giving an example from each relationship of a time you did/didn’t receive one or more of these confirming messages.

Barriers to Listening 1. Which cognitive biases from Chapter 5 are likely to facilitate the premature judgment?

Class Activities La, La, La…Listening!

Take a few minutes to watch students on campus—before and after class (and sometimes in class), in the hallways, cafeteria, and other places that students congregate. What do you see?

Headphones, MP3 and other music players—in other words, music-listening students abound.

Students listen to music all the time. It is part of their culture. Latest statistics on digital music sales have almost doubled to around $2 billion in 2006, according to an industry report (http://cyberextazy.wordpress.com/tag/research-statistics/).

This activity presents music to students and asks them to listen to and think about the words they are hearing.

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Select a current popular song. You will need to secure a copy of the song and the lyrics.

Create a set of cards for a small group of students (4-6). The sets (each in an envelope) should consist of around 20 words or phrases. Fifteen of the words/phrases should be taken from the song lyrics, and 5 should be similar but not actually included in the song. Each word or phrase should be on a separate card.

Distribute the set of cards to each group. Instruct students to look at the cards and display them all in the center of the table. Inform students that only some of the words/phrases will belong to the song you will be playing.

Introduce the listening competition rules. o Listen closely to the song. o As soon as you hear a word or phrase from the song, grab the corresponding card. o When the song is over, 1 point will be awarded for each correct card you hold. If, however, you have a card that is not a match with any of the lyrics, you will receive 1 point.

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After the song is played and the students have grabbed the cards, the lyrics are distributed to each group to compare with their cards. The group validates the points for each member, and the “winners” from each group are reported.

Then ask students how many cards they’ve got. You can also hand out the lyrics (or have one copy large enough for all to see) and ask students to find their words.

Prizes for winners may range from acknowledgement from the larger group and instructor (applause) to one iTunes download.

This activity can also be used to develop cultural and subcultural sensitivity by using songs from different groups (e.g., rap, country, rock, pop), cultures, or eras. You may be surprised to see how difficult it is for students to accurately recognize lyrics from your own youth!

Making the World’s Greatest Sandwich Some of the most ineffective listening occurs in familiar contexts and situations. Sometimes people stop listening because they think they know the information that is being conveyed.

Asking students to “Make a Sandwich” effectively conveys this concept.

Materials Needed • • • • • • • • • •

One jar of peanut butter One jar of jelly Bread Knives Cutting board Spoons Butter Plastic cover or tablecloths for desk Paper towels for cleanup (you will soon see why!)

Any other materials you think you might need

Instructions • •

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Recruit 3 sandwich-maker pairs. These students will be asked to leave the room while students “get ready” for the activity.

After the sandwich-makers leave the room, divide the class into 3 groups. Distribute cards to each group and ask the group to work quietly so as not to alert other groups about the nature of their activity. Each of the group cards should contain the same information (although the class thinks the groups are doing different assignments).

Include the following instructions on the card (or create your own): o Your group has been designated by the Jelly Foundation of America to write a recipe for making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for the Jelly Cookbook.

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o List all the materials you need for your recipe and develop step-by-step instructions to make your sandwich. o Please work quietly so that no information is discerned by the other groups. o Write your final instructions/recipe on the PB&J Recipe Handout (Handout 8.5). o Your group will have 10 minutes to complete this assignment.

For the waiting sandwich-makers: o While the class is formulating the recipes, meet with the student sandwich-maker volunteers. o Tell them they will be making sandwiches from different recipes. Advise them that they must make the sandwiches exactly as the recipes indicate. This means they may not use any materials or implements that are not specified in the recipes. It also means they can use any quantity they want if quantities aren’t specified for the peanut butter and jelly. Encourage them to use atypical amounts. Typically, the class also forgets to mention that a knife is needed for spreading. Instead, the recipe just calls for spreading the peanut butter. Advise the sandwich-makers to play along, and if a knife is not mentioned, they will need to spread the peanut butter with their fingers or elbows or whatever they want. The same usually applies for spreading the jelly and cutting the sandwich.

When the recipes are completed: o Invite the sandwich-maker pairs back into the classroom. o Each pair should have a tray with the ingredients listed above. o Assign each recipe group to a sandwich-maker pair. The group should encircle the sandwich-makers and present them with the recipe. o Then the fun begins. The sandwich-makers follow the recipe verbatim. In relatively short time, students realize they have not specified such things as using a knife or cutting board (resulting in the use of fingers) or the amount of peanut butter or jelly to be used (so the sandwich-makers can use an entire jar or a thimbleful at their discretion, since no clear direction was given). o After the sandwich is completed, help the sandwich-makers to clean up.

Follow-up o Ask students: ▪ “What did we learn about listening today?”

▪ “What else could have been included in your recipe”?

▪ To sandwich-makers: “How did you feel when you had to follow the recipe?”

▪ To recipe-makers: “How did you feel when you watched your sandwich being made?”

On the surface, this seems like a lighthearted exercise. In reality, it addresses several important listening skills—the ability to listen closely to things we already “know” to ensure that no new information is being added and to convey accurately to others without assuming they understand a situation in the same way we do.

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Class Activities within the Text Activity 8.1: Relational Climates in Your Life To gain insight into their own relational climates, students are asked to think about and report the degree to which they use the simplest, middle, and highest levels of communication to recognize another person’s existence. They are also asked to identify the person whom they trust the most and with whom they have the most difficulty. Handout 8.1 is a hard copy of the form.

Activity 8.2: Barriers to Effective Listening This activity is designed to help students identify three barriers they struggle with the most and generate at least one specific idea to try to overcome each barrier. They are also asked to reflect on the impact these barriers and activities have on listening situations and/or relationships.

Handout 8.2 is a hard copy of the form.

Activity 8.3: Counterfeit Listening in Your Life To identify their own weaknesses in the counterfeit listening styles, students are asked to reflective on the counterfeit listening styles of others and self. Handout 8.3 is a hard copy of the form.

Activity 8.4: Authentic Listening Responses This activity is designed to help students practice applying listening styles to real-life situations by constructing and using effective listening responses. Handout 8.4 is a hard copy of the form.

Handouts Handout 8.1 (Activity 8.1): Relational Climates in Your Life Handout 8.2 (Activity 8.2): Barriers to Effective Listening Handout 8.3 (Activity 8.3): Counterfeit Listening in Your Life Handout 8.4 (Activity 8.4): Authentic Listening Responses Handout 8.5: The World’s Greatest Sandwich Handout 8.6: Two Minute Check Handout 8.7: Two Minute Check Results Handout 8.8: Two Minute Check Results Checklist NAME:_____________________________ DATE:_______________________

HANDOUT 8.1: RELATIONAL CLIMATES IN YOUR LIFE PART 1: LEVELS OF CONFIRMATION A. The simplest level of confirmation is to recognize another person’s existence. Think about the degree to which you do this, and how it varies in your different environments. For example, what do you do to acknowledge people when you see them? How does it differ at school? At work? At a party? With your family? In the following space, discuss your strong

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points in this area, as well as at least one specific example of where you might improve on this. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ B. The middle level of confirmation involves acknowledging another person’s feelings, thoughts, or actions. Consider your own patterns of this, again noting how they may vary in the different environments in which you live and work. Then, in the following space, write several specific examples of how you succeed in this area, as well as at least one example of how you might improve in this area. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ C. The highest level of confirmation involves accepting another person’s thoughts or feelings as valid. Once again, consider what you do to endorse others. Whom do you endorse the most? The least? How does this endorsement affect your relationships with these individuals? Discuss these questions in the following space. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ PART 2: YOUR RELATIONAL CLIMATES A. Identify the person whom you trust the most. Then, consider what that person does to build your relational climate, specifically using the three levels of confirmation. Elaborate on their

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confirming behaviors in this area in the following space. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ B. Identify a person in your life with whom you have a difficult, less supportive relationship.

Consider what this person does (in the way of confirming or disconfirming behaviors) to contribute to the status of your relationship. Then, consider what you do (in terms of confirming or disconfirming behaviors) to contribute to the status of your relationship. Write about both of these contributors in the following space. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ NAME:_________________________________ DATE:__________________

HANDOUT 8.2: BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE LISTENING Instructions: In this section of the chapter, we identified six different barriers to effective listening, along with some suggestions for overcoming each one. In this activity, you will identify the three barriers that you struggle with the most and generate at least one specific idea to try to overcome each one.

1.

Of the six barriers to effective listening, identify the three that you have the most trouble with. __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________

2.

For each barrier that you identified, give a specific example of how you do this, along with the impact it had on the listening situation and/or relationship. ____________________________________________________________________

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____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ 3.

Based on the suggestions in the text for overcoming this barrier, write one specific thing you can try to help yourself overcome it. (Note: Don’t just write the name of the strategy, for example, self-talk. Instead, apply it to the situation, writing specifically what you could tell yourself in the self-talk.) ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

4.

Finally, team up with one or a few other members of your class and compare your answers.

Offer one another at least one additional suggestion for overcoming the barriers, and write down one of the suggestions you get from a classmate. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

NAME:____________________________ DATE:________________________

HANDOUT 8.3: COUNTERFEIT LISTENING IN YOUR LIFE 1.

Think of a recent time when you were talking with someone about something important to you, and that person engaged in some form of counterfeit listening. Describe what they did and how you felt as a result in the following space. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

2.

Now, think about your own listening habits. Which one or two counterfeit listening styles do you use the most? Give an example of when/how/with whom you used it. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

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____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ 3.

How often do you fall prey to counterfeit listening? Think about your most important relationships. How has counterfeit listening affected the development of these relationships? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

NAME:___________________________ DATE:________________________

HANDOUT 8.4: AUTHENTIC LISTENING RESPONSES Instructions: In this exercise, you will practice constructing and using effective listening responses. You may work on these individually or in small groups. For each of the following statements, write effective listening responses that you could use that fit each of the listening styles.

1.

A co-worker says to you, “I’m really upset with our new boss. He just came in and changed a bunch of rules without even paying any attention to how well the old rules were working!”

Advising Response: ___________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ Evaluative Response: __________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ Supportive Response: __________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ Analyzing Response: __________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ Questioning Response: _________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ Paraphrasing Response: ________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

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Which of these responses would you use, and why? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ 2.

Your significant other says to you, “It seems like we never spend any time together anymore.”

Advising Response: ___________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ Evaluative Response: __________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ Supportive Response: ___________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ Analyzing Response: __________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ Questioning Response: _________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ Paraphrasing Response: ________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ Which of these responses would you use, and why? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

3.

A close friend says to you, “I’m worried about my mom. She’s been yelling at everyone a lot lately, and that’s really out of character for her.”

Advising Response: ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ Evaluative Response: __________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ Supportive Response: __________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ Analyzing Response: __________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

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Questioning Response: _________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ Paraphrasing Response: ________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ Which of these responses would you use, and why? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ 4.

Finally, write your own example of something someone said to you recently that was important. Then, write what you could have said using any three of the listening response styles.

Someone said to you: _________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ Listening Response 1: Type of response ___________________________________ How you could say it: __________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ Listening Response 2: Type of response ___________________________________ How you could say it: __________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ Listening Response 3: Type of response ___________________________________ How you could say it: __________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ What type of response did you use? What did you say, and what effect did it have? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ Was there a better type of response you could have used? If so, explain. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

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NAME:_____________________________ DATE:____________________________

HANDOUT 8.5: THE WORLD’S GREATEST SANDWICH Our Group: Sandwich-Makers_____________________________________________ ______________________________________________ Recipe-Makers _______________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Your group’s assignment is to write the recipe for the world’s greatest peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

• List your ingredients and directions for making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. You can use the back of this paper if you need more space.

• Speak softly so the other groups cannot tell what kind of sandwich you are creating.

• When your group is finished, please fold your recipe.

Ingredients:

Directions: NAME:_____________________________________DATE:______________________

HANDOUT 8.6: TWO MINUTE CHECK Please take two minutes to answer the following questions about the chapter we are beginning.

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List two things you already know about effective listening.

1.

____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

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2.

____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

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List two things you would like to learn about effective listening. Please be specific.

1.

____________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________

2.

____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

HANDOUT 8.7: TWO MINUTE CHECK RESULTS Thank you for sharing your ideas in the two minute check we did this week.

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Here are some things you already know about listening.

Here are some things you would like to learn about listening.

HANDOUT 8.8: TWO MINUTE CHECK RESULTS CHECKLIST Chapter:___________________________________________________ Topic

Date Covered

□ Effective listening □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □

12/3/16

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□ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □

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Chapter 9: Verbal and Nonverbal Communication Chapter Overview This chapter identifies some of the most common mistakes we make in our own language use, along with how to overcome them. It also explores the importance of culture in language and communication, focusing especially on different interpretations of various nonverbal signals.

Learning Objectives • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Determine causes, consequences, and solutions to abstract language.

Explain why relative language can lead to misunderstandings and strategies to avoid them Describe the problem with and solution for static language Summarize the meaning of “responsible language” Distinguish between I-language and you-language Describe the three components of an effective I-statement Describe important considerations in formulating effective I-statements Explain how culture effects communication rules Distinguish high-context from low-context cultures in interpersonal and mass communication Differentiate between elaborate, exacting, and succinct communication styles Compare instrumental and affective communication in men and women Explain how gender influences communication Describe the importance of nonverbal communication Describe the different types of nonverbal communication Determine the effects of culture on nonverbal communication

Key Terms and Concepts Abstract language False consensus bias Relative language Static language Fallacy of causation You-language I-language Behavioral description Emotional description Consequence

High-context communication Low-context communication Elaborate language Exacting communication Succinct communication Instrumental communication Affective communication Body orientation Paralanguage Contact cultures

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Chapter Outline I.

Verbal Communication A. Huh? B. Four guiding principles of effective verbal communication 1. Language must be clear.

2. Language must be responsible.

3. Language must be context-sensitive.

4. Language must be congruent.

C. What Makes Language Clear?

1. Preview Questions a. What is abstract language, and how does it interfere with our human relations? b. Describe two specific types of abstract language and give examples of how each one can be overcome.

2. ABSTRACT LANGUAGE is language that is vague. It is often conceptualized as a ladder, as in Figure 9.1: Levels of Abstraction in Language. a. Moving up this ladder involves a transition from highly abstract to very specific language. Take a few minutes to climb the ladder. b. Use of abstract language may result from a false consensus of perceptual bias (i.e., believing others see things in the same way we do) that encourages use of verbal shorthand. c. See Activity 9.1: Abstraction Ladders at Home and at Work for practice in building skills in this area. d. Two types of abstract language include relative language and static language.

1) RELATIVE LANGUAGE is comprised or words or phrases that “gain their meaning by comparison.” Relative terms are interpreted in different ways by different people based on each person’s own experiences and preferences.

This language is riskiest when asking someone to do something. Can you guess why?

2) STATIC LANGUAGE is language that implies that a situation or person is always the same. Static language can mislead others about a person or situation, especially when used to express concerns or complaints to others. e. See Activity 9.2: Identifying and Replacing Abstract Language to build your skills at identifying various types of abstract language and replacing abstractions with descriptions.

D. What Constitutes the Responsible Use of Language?

1. In responsible language, facts and opinions are clearly differentiated. It avoids the FALLACY OF CAUSATION wherein we blame someone else for our own feelings.

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II.

2. I-Language vs. You-Language a. I-LANGUAGE is language that takes responsibility for the impact the other person’s behavior has on you rather than simply scolding or causing blame. b. YOU-LANGUAGE is language that implies blame on the other person.

3. Three Components of an Effective I-Statement a. Effective I-statements consists of three basic elements, including a behavioral description, an emotional description, and a consequence. These statements facilitate a balance of power in communication. i. BEHAVIORAL DESCRIPTION is a clear, specific, and factual description of a person’s behavior. It is a key element of an effective Istatement that uses language to build consensus and avoids exaggeration, judgmental, or abstract content. ii. EMOTIONAL DESCRIPTION states the emotions felt when the behavior occurred. It builds empathy in the other person by helping him or her to know exactly how the speaker is feeling. See Table 9.1: Examples of Emotion Words for examples of words that are often found in emotional description. iii. CONSEQUENCE is the impact the behavior has on you. This element helps the other person understand the connection between his or her behavior and the consequence. iv. See Figure 9.2: Anatomy of an I-Statement for an example of these three elements.

Language Must Be Culturally Sensitive A. Preview Questions 1. What do we mean by high-context and low-context communication?

2. What are elaborate, exact, and succinct communication styles?

3. What is the difference between instrumental and affective communication, and what are four specific communication differences that can arise from these diverse styles?

4. How do the worldviews of men and women typically differ, and how do these differences in perspective promote communication differences?

B. What Are High- and Low-Context Cultures?

1. See Figure 9.3: High- and Low-Context Cultures for a list/ranking of cultures.

2. Cultural relativity of time impacts effective communication.

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a. Monochronic cultures = highly value time efficiency; often individualistic. b. Polychronic cultures = value interpersonal relationships most highly; often collectivistic.

3. What about context and communication? a. HIGH-CONTEXT COMMUNICATION is communication that relies more heavily on attention to contextual details and less on explicit language to transmit its message. This indirect communication is preferred in collectivistic cultures. Verbal shorthand reinforces closeness between speakers and allows communication of subtle messages. b. LOW-CONTEXT COMMUNICATION relies on clear, concrete, and explicit language. This direct communication is preferred in individualistic cultures and supports a high value on independence and time efficiency.

C. Elaborate, Exacting, and Succinct Communication Styles 1. Gudykunst & Ting-Toomey (1988) present a three-level typology of cultural communication styles. See Figure 9.5: Three Styles of Language for an example. a. ELABORATE LANGUAGE uses many words to convey its message and is very colorful and expressive. Many Middle Eastern and African American cultures prefer this style. b. EXACTING COMMUNICATION involves clear and specific language that states the facts, and nothing else. Many Americans prefer this style; Chinese and Native American cultures also value this language use. c. SUCCINCT COMMUNICATION includes understated language that says very little and relies on the listener to understand the unspoken meaning. It tends to be favored by individualistic cultures.

D. Instrumental and Affective Communication Styles 1. This method examines the impact of culture on communication based on the goals of communication. a. INSTRUMENTAL COMMUNICATION is task-oriented and focuses on achieving the speaker’s goals. It tends to be favored by individualistic cultures. b. AFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION is person-oriented, and focuses on building and maintaining good relations between communicators. It is more aligned with the values of collectivistic cultures.

E. Gender and Communication 1. Tannen (1990) proposed male and female communication differences based on differences in worldview.

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III.

a. Men see the world in a hierarchical way focusing on status, power, and aggression. Task-oriented (instrumental) communication is preferred. b. Women see the world in an egalitarian way focusing on equality, balance of power, and cooperation to achieve harmony.

Understanding-seeking (affective) communication is preferred.

2. What are some of the most basic differences between men and women (Tannen/You Just Don’t Understand)? a. Problem-solving vs. empathy 1) Men = problem-solving 2) Women = empathy b. Details vs. Big Picture 1) Men = big picture 2) Women = details c. Asking for help vs. not asking for help 1) Men = not asking for help 2) Women = asking for help d. Use of Questions 1) Men = direct use of questions 2) Women = indirect use of questions F. How Can Gendered Communication Be Overcome to Communicate Effectively?

1. Acknowledge that gender differences exist.

2. Strive to understand the value system from which these are derived.

3. Recognize the validity of both styles and acknowledge they make sense in the context of divergent value systems.

4. Relinquish the need to make others (or everyone) conform to one style.

5. Share information about differences with others with whom effective communication is important.

G. See Activity 9.4: Gendered Communication in Your Life to help understand the ways in which gendered communication affects your life.

Why Is Congruence Important?

A. Preview Questions 1. What is meant by “congruence” in language, and what three cautions must we be aware of in understanding nonverbal communication?

2. Describe eight different types of nonverbal communication, along with how each one affects your relations with others.

3. Give some examples of cultural differences in nonverbal communication.

B. Nonverbal Communication: Some Preliminary Cautions 1. Nonverbal signals in communication are often unintentional and also unconscious.

2. One single nonverbal cue cannot be reliably interpreted to mean the same thing across situations.

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3. Other cultures (and subcultures) may have different interpretations of the same nonverbal cue.

C. Major Types of Nonverbal Cues for Western Culture 1. BODY ORIENTATION is the direction your body is facing relative to those with whom you are interacting. a. Erect posture = confidence and honesty; slouching = lack of confidence or self-esteem b. Upright, relaxed posture, status = confidence; rigidly erect posture = tension 2. TOUCH is used to help build rapport or trust. a. Men = status assertion or power; women = warmth or intimacy 3. PHYSICAL APPEARANCE affects communication a. Attractive physical appearance = more assumed positive characteristics (e.g., friendlier, more intelligent, more caring, easier to get along with) or “What Is Beautiful Is Good.” b. Attractive physical appearance = more assumed honesty, more workplace promotions, more social invitations 1) Critical Thinking Question: Consider the way you present your physical appearance, including dress, hairstyle, body adornments such as jewelry and body art, and so forth. In what ways do you think your physical presentation influences others’ perceptions of you, your own sense of confidence, and ultimately, your communication with others?

4. PERSONAL SPACE reflects the culturally prescribed distance between people during conversation and other social interactions. a. Personal space boundaries are related to a person’s status. Higher status people command greater amounts of personal space and are more likely to invade the personal space of others. b. Men are more likely to defend personal space intrusions aggressively; women are more likely to accommodate the intrusion.

5. PARALANGUAGE is communication that is verbal, but wordless. a. A wide range of messages can be conveyed through paralanguage.

Rapid speakers are deemed more knowledgeable, loud speakers are deemed obnoxious and/or angry, and inflections are used to emphasize important points.

6. EYE CONTACT AND FACIAL EXPRESSIVENESS are used to transmit unspoken messages. a. More than 1,000 different expressions can be created with a combination of facial movements. b. Facial expressions can be subtly modified to send messages of anger, love, invitation, challenges, or scorn.

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7. GESTURES fall into several categories and their meaning is often unique to each culture. a. Emblems are gestures that have a direct verbal translation. b. Illustrators are gestures that do not function on their own but serve to underscore the importance of what is being said.

8. PHYSICAL ENVIRONMENT structure contributes to a system of nonverbal communication and can be used to increase the chances of attaining communication goals. a. Critical Thinking Question: Think about the living room (or similar space) in your home and how the seating, technology (television, etc.), and other items are arranged. What type of communication does this physical environment promote, and what messages does it send to people?

9. See Activity 9.5: Your Nonverbal Communication: What Works, and What Doesn’t to examine your own uses and interpretations of nonverbal communication.

D. Culture and Nonverbal Communication 1. Nonverbal communication is unique to each culture. See Table 9.3: Examples of Cross-Cultural Differences in Nonverbal Cues for a list of interesting differences in the way certain nonverbal cues are interpreted cross-culturally.

2. Contact Cultures a. CONTACT CULTURES tend to engage in more open contact with each other and use nonverbal cues to signal warmth, closeness, and availability. They touch more often, maintain closer personal space boundaries, and are more expressive with nonverbal behaviors.

3. Individualism-Collectivism (IC) a. In collectivistic cultures, people coordinate schedules and actions with family group members. They express emotions more freely as they develop relationships. b. In individualistic cultures people are more likely to do what they please and meet their own personal schedule. They are more likely to inhibit their emotional expressions unless it supports the group needs.

4. Power Distance (PD) a. In terms of nonverbal communications, high PD cultures encourage emotions that promote and maintain status differences. b. People in low PD cultures are less sensitive than those in high PD cultures to the impact of their paralanguage on others.

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Preview Questions Language Must Be Clear 1. What is abstract language, and how does it interfere with our human relations?

2. Describe two specific types of abstract language, and give examples of how each one can be overcome.

Language Must Be Responsible 1. What do we mean by “responsible language”?

2. What are the three components of effective I-statements?

3. Describe two additional important points about using I-statements effectively.

Language Must Be Culturally Sensitive 1. What do we mean by high-context and low-context communication?

2. What are elaborate, exact, and succinct communication styles?

3. What is the difference between instrumental and affective communication?

4. What are four specific communication differences that can arise from these diverse styles?

5. How do the worldviews of men and women typically differ, and how do these differences in perspective promote communication differences?

Language Must Be Congruent 1. What is meant by “congruence” in language, and what three cautions must we be aware of in understanding nonverbal communication?

2. Describe eight different types of nonverbal communication, along with how each one affects your relations with others.

3. Give some examples of cultural differences in nonverbal communication.

Critical Thinking Questions Use of Questions 1. Describe the reason for misunderstanding in the preceding situation.

2. How could you replace her you-language with a more responsible I-statement?

Body Posture and Orientation 1. Consider the way you present your physical appearance, including dress, hairstyle, body adornments such as jewelry and body art, and so forth. In what ways do you think your physical presentation influences others’ perceptions of you, your own sense of confidence, and ultimately, your communication with others?

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Class Activity Point/Counterpoint Paper Description: Writing a point/counterpoint paper requires a student to look at their own thinking and understand other people’s point of view. The goal of this paper is for students to persuade readers that their opinion is valid. This occurs when they present their view, evidence for their view, evidence for an opposing view, and a convincing conclusion that explains why their view is the most valid way to explain their point.

Topic Areas: Students may select one (1) of the topics below for their position paper: • People’s general characterizations of others with visible body modifications (e.g., piercings, tattoos) are negative.

• Physical education teachers are prejudiced against obese students.

Criteria: Criteria for the assignment are included in Handout 9.6.

Class Activities within the Text Activity 9.1: Abstraction Ladders at Home and at Work Using the ladder model of abstract language, students are asked to build their own ladders to show increasingly concrete language for three examples. Handout 9.1 is a hard copy of the form.

Activity 9.2: Identifying and Replacing Abstract Language This activity is designed to help students use relative and static language in examples and replace these with abstract language that is clearer and more specific. Handout 9.2 is a hard copy of the form.

Activity 9.3: Practicing I-Language To help students build their own I-language skills, the exercise as them to rewrite you-statement with I-language. Handout 9.3 is a hard copy of the form.

Activity 9.4: Gendered Communication in Your Life This activity increases student understanding of the specific ways gendered communication affect their lives. Handout 9.4 of a hard copy of the form.

Activity 9.5: Your Nonverbal Communication: What Works, and What Doesn’t Students may use this activity to examine their own uses and interpretations of nonverbal communication. Handout 9.5 of a hard copy of the form.

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Handouts Handout 9.1 (Activity 9.1): Abstraction Ladders at Home and at Work Handout 9.2 (Activity 9.2): Identifying and Replacing Abstract Language Handout 9.3 (Activity 9.3): Practicing I-Language Handout 9.4 (Activity 9.4): Gendered Communication in Your Life Handout 9.5 (Activity 9.5): Your Nonverbal Communication: What Works, and What Doesn’t Handout 9.6: Point/Counterpoint Paper Handout 9.7: Two Minute Check Handout 9.9: Two Minute Check Results Handout 9.9: Two Minute Check Results Checklist NAME:____________________________ DATE:________________________

HANDOUT 9.1: ABSTRACTION LADDERS AT HOME AND AT WORK Instructions: Using the ladder model of abstract language, build ladders that show increasingly concrete language for the following “Highly Abstract” examples.

1. We need to make some changes in this relationship! ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ 2. This job is too demanding. ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ 3. Write your own example. ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ NAME:_________________________________ DATE:_______________________

HANDOUT 9.2: IDENTIFYING AND REPLACING ABSTRACT LANGUAGE Instructions: In the worksheet you downloaded, first identify whether the following statements use relative language, static language, or both. Then correct the problem by replacing the abstract language with language that is clearer and more specific. (Hint: Using specific examples is a great way to be clear!)

1. My job is too demanding! ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________

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2. I have the best boyfriend! ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ 3. That was an excellent movie! ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ 4. She is really mean! ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ NAME:_________________________________ DATE:____________________

HANDOUT 9.3: PRACTICING I-LANGUAGE Instructions: Rewrite each of the following you-statements with more responsible I-language.

For best results, imagine yourself in a specific situation where you might say this, and then use the situational elements to provide a behavioral description, a statement of emotion, and the consequences. You may also work on these statements in groups if your instructor allows it.

1. I am so tired of hearing you complain about everything. ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ 2. You rock! ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ 3. I feel like I do way more than you do around here. ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ 4. You need to get your act together. ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ 5. I’m worried. ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ 6. I don’t think we communicate very well. ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ 7. You make me really happy. ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ 8. I am fed up with my roommates. ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________

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9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

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It seems like we never agree on what we want to do. ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ Why don’t you ever listen to me? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ I can tell you really respect me—thanks. ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ (Write your own.) ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ (Write your own.) ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ (Write your own.) ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________

REFLECTIONS Now that you’ve worked with I-language, in what ways, situations, or relationships do you think it will help you? Also, is there a specific aspect of it that still is troublesome for you? If so, explain. ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ NAME:___________________________________ DATE:__________________

HANDOUT 9.4: GENDERED COMMUNICATION IN YOUR LIFE Instructions: Answer these questions to help yourself integrate this section of the text into your own life and relationship patterns.

1. The text describes two different worldviews that tend to apply to men and women. Which applies to your own worldview and communication goals: the traditional “male” viewpoint, or the traditional “female” viewpoint? Give an example to illustrate your answer.

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____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ 2. The text also describes several specific differences in gendered communication (big picture vs. details, problemsolving vs. empathy, use of questions, asking for help). Choose any two of these that especially relate to your own life and relationships, and for each one, describe a specific situation where this difference led to a misunderstanding. For each situation, identify what you could do differently next time to overcome the potential misunderstanding. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

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____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ 3. Exchanging thoughts with classmates: Discuss your examples and reflections with several other class members in a group situation. Then, based on what you hear from your classmates, write one additional thought here that you think is interesting and/or important. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ NAME:___________________________________ DATE:_____________________

HANDOUT 9.5: YOUR NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION: What Works, and What Doesn’t Instructions: The text discusses eight different types of nonverbal communication, along with examples of each, and ways that they are typically interpreted in Western culture. For this exercise, examine your own nonverbal cues, as well as those of others, to increase your awareness of the impact of this type of language on our relationships.

Part 1 First, apply each of the types of the nonverbal communication to your own life by giving a real example of how you or someone who was communicating with you used it, along with its impact on the message.

Part 2 Now, pair up with one of your classmates, and go to a public place (on campus is fine, such as the cafeteria). As unobtrusively as possible, look around and (together) identify a group of two or three people who are talking together. Observe the group for about 5 minutes. Each of you (privately) form some interpretations about status, relationships, and so on, based on the nonverbal communication that you observe. Once each of you has formed your own opinions, share your viewpoints with your partner. In what ways were your interpretations similar? In what ways were they different?

A. Describe the group of people you observed (for example, you might say “We observed a group of three people, sitting at a table together with their books open. It looked like they might be studying together. There were two women and one man.”

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B. Record your impressions about who had the most power in the group, what the relationships were between them, and so forth, along with the specific nonverbal behaviors you saw that led you to your impressions.

Part 3 Share your findings with your partner.

1. Did you come to any similar interpretations? If so, describe one.

2. Did you have any different interpretations? If so, describe one.

NAME:______________________________ DATE:_______________________

HANDOUT 9.6: POINT/COUNTERPOINT PAPER Description Writing a point/counterpoint paper requires you to look at your own thinking and understand other people’s point of view. The goal of this paper is for you to persuade readers that your opinion is valid. This occurs when you present your view, evidence for your view, evidence for a counterview or views, and a convincing conclusion that explains why your view is the most valid way to explain your point.

Topic Areas You may select one (1) of the topics below for your position paper: • People’s general characterizations of others with visible body modifications (e.g., piercings, tattoos) are negative.

• Physical education teachers are prejudiced against obese students.

How do I write a point/counterpoint paper?

• Select one issue for your paper from the topics listed above.

• In the introductory sentence of your paper, briefly state your position on the issue you have selected. This will let the reader know the general topic of the paper and the stand you will take. Write several paragraphs to support your position. This part of your paper should contain a minimum of two (2) references from reliable sources. Your sources should be documented using APA citation style. The next part of your paper should include the opposing view. This means you should write several paragraphs about the other side of the issue you are supporting. You will also need a minimum of two (2) references for this section. Use APA citation style again. The last part of your paper is the conclusion. In this section, you should sum up your argument and reiterate your position.

What kind of format should I use for this paper?

• Your paper should be a maximum of 3 pages. The page total includes the title page.

• The title page should contain: o Paper title o Your name

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o Course name and section o Date of assignment Your paper should be double-spaced, typed, 12-point Arial or Times New Roman font, with 1-inch margins, black ink, numbered pages, and stapled in the upper left-hand corner. No document covers of any kind should be used.

Papers should be edited and in finished form. Take time to read and reread your work before you hand it in. Check for spelling errors, omissions, and other obvious mistakes.

NAME:______________________________________ DATE:____________________

HANDOUT 9.7: TWO MINUTE CHECK Please take two minutes to answer the following questions about the chapter we are beginning.

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List two things you already know about verbal and nonverbal communication.

1.

______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________

2.

_____________________________________________________________________ _ ______________________________________________________________________

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List two things you would like to learn about verbal and nonverbal communication. Please be specific.

1.

_____________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________

2.

_____________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________

NAME:______________________________________ DATE:____________________

HANDOUT 9.8: TWO MINUTE CHECK RESULTS Thank you for sharing your ideas in the two minute check we did this week.

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Here are some things you already know about verbal and nonverbal communication.

Here are some things you would like to learn about verbal and nonverbal communication.

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HANDOUT 9.9: TWO MINUTE CHECK RESULTS CHECKLIST Chapter:___________________________________________________ Topic

Date Covered

□ Eye contact □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □

12/3/16

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Chapter 10: Conflict and Conflict Resolution Chapter Overview This chapter explores the ways we think about and respond to conflict and effective relationships. Moreover, the chapter describes the various conflict styles and the ways that personality and culture influence them. It also describes the principles and concepts that can be combined into something called the “win-win” conflict resolution method.

Learning Objectives • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Describe interpersonal conflict Analyze the misconceptions of conflict Determine strategies to overcome conflict misconceptions Distinguish personal conflict styles and outcomes Describe the strengths and weaknesses of various conflict styles Explain why passive-aggressive behavior is harmful Explain how personality traits and cultural differences influence an individual’s preferred conflict style Determine personality traits associated with conflict styles Describe how culture impacts conflict style Determine strategies for reducing defensiveness in communication Determine strategies to effectively reduce defense-arousing communication practices Determine appropriate strategies to respond nondefensively to criticism Describe how to resolve a conflict using the integrative approach

Key Terms and Concepts Interpersonal conflict Conflict style Assertiveness Cooperativeness Dual-concern model Accommodating Dominating Avoiding Compromising Integrating Passive-aggressive behavior Superiority Win-win method

Defensive spiral Evaluation Description Certainty Provisionalism Control orientation Problem orientation Strategy Neutrality

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Chapter Outline I.

Conflict and Conflict Resolution A. Preview Questions 1. How do we define interpersonal conflict, and what are the most important aspects of the definition?

2. Discuss three myths about conflict, and how they can be overcome.

B. INTERPERSONAL CONFLICT is a situation in which two or more people in an interdependent relationship perceive themselves to have different viewpoints or goals, which are incompatible.

1. Interdependence = both or all parties have a stake in continuing the relationship or they are dependent on the other person in some way.

2. Perceive themselves = perception related to having different goals.

C. Myths About Conflict 1. Healthy relationships have little or no conflict. a. Samter & Cupach (1998) found that virtually all participants acknowledged conflicts in their relationships with each other. b. Gottman consistently found there is no relationship between the amount of conflict in a relationship and the overall health of the relationship. c. The key lies in how people deal with conflicts.

2. Conflict is not always destructive. a. Conflict can be constructive or helpful to a relationship. b. “First Big Fight” (FBF) research found that after an altercation, participants experienced a number of benefits, including a greater sense of mutual commitment to the relationship. c. Constructive conflict increased trust in a relationship.

3. In any conflict, there can only be one winner. a. Myth may be more applicable in individualist cultures that emphasize competing. b. Recognizing conflict can be resolved in ways that support all parties and goals and help reframe the way in which conflict is perceived.

D. Overcoming myths 1. Recognizing the degree to which myths are supported is the first step in improving conflict resolution patterns.

2. Monitoring ways in which myths can be mediated is useful (e.g., selftalk).

3. See Figure 10.2: Myths and Facts About Conflict for differences between myths and facts.

4. See Activity 10.1: Conflict Myths in Your Life to explore how myths about conflict have affected your own relationships.

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Personal Conflict Styles: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly A. Preview Questions 1. Describe the two main factors in the dual-concern model of conflict.

2. How do these two factors combine to create five specific conflict styles?

3. What are the strengths and weaknesses of each of the five conflict styles in the dual-concern model?

4. What is passive-aggressive behavior, and why is it so harmful?

B. CONFLICT STYLE is an individual’s typical method of dealing with conflict.

1. Although particular situations influence responses, everyone has a preferred conflict style which is influenced by personality, family influence over time, and the larger cultural perspective.

2. See Activity 10.2A/Part 1: Conflict Style Inventory to explore your basic conflict styles and preferences.

C. Dual-Concern Model (The Good and the Bad) 1. There are five general conflict styles characterized by two distinct factors: assertiveness and cooperativeness. a. ASSERTIVENESS is the degree to which we are interested in pursuing our own goals and interests. b. COOPERATIVENESS is the degree to which we are interested in maintaining the relationship or supporting goals of the other person.

2. DUAL-CONCERN MODEL is a framework for understanding a conflict style that is based on the degree of assertiveness and cooperativeness that motivates an individual’s response to conflict. a. ACCOMMODATING is characterized by a high degree of interest in the relationship and a low degree of concern about one’s own interest.

1) Harmony is preferred to conflict; conflict is perceived as potentially damaging to relationships.

2) Negative: Frequent accommodating gives the illusion of preserving relationships, but creates an imbalance of power in the long run.

3) Positive: Reciprocity can sometimes help preserve a sense of equality and mutuality in relationships. b. DOMINATING is based on a high degree of interest in one’s own goals and a low degree of interest in the relationship or goals of the other person. It is the direct opposite of the accommodating style.

1) Behaviors range from aggressive tactics (e.g., threats, insults, blaming) to nonverbal tactics (e.g., stonewalling (e.g., physical or psychological withdrawal).

2) Dominators are goal-oriented, competitive, and seekers of win or lose situations.

3) Positive outcomes occur when power is used by a legitimate authority.

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c. AVOIDING is characterized by a low degree of interest in pursuing one’s own goals, as well as a low degree of interest in supporting the relationship or the other person’s goals.

1) Avoidance of conflict occurs because of past negative experience with conflict or a low biological tolerance for emotional stress related to conflict. This may include downplaying, distracting, and denying.

2) Avoiders miss relationship-sustaining benefits of constructive conflict resolution, including increased awareness of one’s own and others’ goals and feelings and a sense of mutuality and commitment in relationships. d. COMPROMISING is characterized by a modern degree of interest in one’s own goals, and an equally moderate degree of interest in the relationship and/or goals of the other person.

1) Compromisers value harmony and individual satisfaction and pursue mutually agreeable solutions—often finding solutions that “meet in the middle.”

2) Each party gains some satisfaction; each must give up something. e. INTEGRATING is characterized by a strong interest in pursuing one’s own goals, and an equally strong interest in supporting the relationship and/or the goals of the other person.

1) Integrating goes beyond compromising with the goals of everyone getting what they want without sacrificing. This style is motivated by the belief that conflict is normal, healthy, and necessary for personal growth and relationship development.

2) True integration requires a well-developed set of communication and conflict resolution skills. f. See Figure 10.4: The Dual-Concern Model of Interpersonal Conflict Style for a depiction of the dual-concern model. g. See Activity 10.2A: Conflict Style Inventory to assess you conflict inventory style.

D. Passive-Aggressive Behavior (The Ugly) 1. PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR occurs when a person acts passive on the outside, but secretly commits some type of aggression against the other person. a. Passive-aggressive behavior neither solves problems NOR maintains relationships. b. Passive-aggressive behavior does not fit well into the dual-concern model.

2. Critical Thinking Question: Do you or someone you engage in passiveaggressive behavior? Identify a specific example from your own life,

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along with the consequences of it. What would have been a more effective solution?

3. See Table 10.1: Applying Conflict Styles to see how each conflict style might turn out if implemented.

Personality and Cultural Influences on Conflict Styles A. Preview Questions 1. How do personality traits affect conflict style?

2. Describe three cultural influences on conflict style.

B. Personality and Conflict Style Differences 1. Compromisers are characterized by higher agreeableness, higher openness to experience, and higher neuroticism than persons in other conflict styles.

2. Integrators had higher levels of extraversion, higher levels of conscientiousness, greater openness to experience, and less neuroticism than other groups.

3. Avoiders reported lower extraversion, lower conscientiousness, and higher neuroticism.

4. Dominators were characterized by low agreeableness.

5. Extraverts were more likely to be assertive and utilize the challenging integrated style of conflict resolution.

6. Critical Thinking Question: Based on the Big Five questionnaire you completed in Chapter 3 and the traits that describe you based on that, do you see any connections between your personality traits and your conflict style?

C. Culture and Conflict Style 1. Ethnicity and Conflict Style a. The dual-concern model is a product of Western culture. b. Asian and Latino groups perceive accommodating and avoiding as positive choices (reduce friction and retain peaceful relations). c. African Americans use avoiding more than European Americans.

Similar findings emerged for Brazilians and Mexicans.

2. Individualism-Collectivism and Conflict Style a. Research indicates conflict style is influenced by various dimensions of culture. Caution should be taken when interpreting broad generalizations. b. Accuracy improved by measuring research participants’ own individual level of individualism and collectivism.

1) Cai and Fink (2002) studied 31 countries and found individualists preferred avoiding more than collectivists.

2) Collectivists preferred compromising and integrating more than individualists.

3) Regardless of cultural orientation, integrations were the most preferred conflict style, followed by accommodating

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and avoiding. Compromising and dominating were the least preferred.

3. Identity and Conflict Style a. See Figure 10.4: The Dual-Concern Model of Interpersonal Conflict Style, which depicts four different identities. b. Ting-Toomey and colleagues (2001) posit IC is more accurately conceptualized as two continua: one for individualism and one for collectivism.

1) With one continuum, one dimension raises as the other declines. In two dimensions, both dimensions can be relatively high or relatively low (or somewhere in between). c. The model proposes four identities called compromising and integrating more than collectivists.

4. The Bottom Line a. With an increasingly multicultural world, people will be interacting with a wider range of others who have different cultural backgrounds and identities. b. Increased information and awareness about culture and identity, conflict styles, and other communication behaviors improves chances of optimizing human relations.

Reducing Defensiveness in Conflict Resolution A. Preview Questions 1. Describe six common types of defense-arousing communication, along with a more supportive alternative of each one.

2. What is the most effective type of response when someone is criticizing us and the criticism is accurate? How should we respond when it is not accurate?

3. When criticism is unclear, or you don’t understand how it is relevant to the other person, what are several options for responding nondefensively?

B. Avoiding a DEFENSIVE SPIRAL in which one negative comment tends to be reciprocated, then each provokes another.

1. Gibb (1961) proposed six defense-arousing categories. a. Evaluation vs. Description 1) EVALUATION involves use of language which evaluates or judges another person.

2) DESCRIPTION involves use of fact-based, nonjudgmental description of the other person’s behavior. b. Certainty vs. Provisionalism 1) CERTAINTY is a defense-arousing message that signals closed-mindedness.

2) PROVISIONALISM is a supportive message that signals open-mindedness.

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c. Control vs. Problem Orientation 1) CONTROL ORIENTATION involves making decisions for other people.

2) PROBLEM ORIENTATION involves working collaboratively with partners to share decision-making. d. Strategy vs. Spontaneity 1) STRATEGY involves communicating in a way that is meant to manipulate the other person or influence them indirectly to do or say something.

2) SPONTANEITY is defined as “the quality of being spontaneous and coming from natural feelings without constraint.” e. Neutrality vs. Empathy 1) NEUTRALITY is an apparent lack of concern or feeling, sending a message that the other person is unimportant.

2) EMPATHY is defined as “the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.” f. Superiority vs. Equality 1) SUPERIORITY is a defense-arousing mechanism that conveys that the speaker is smarter, knows more, or is better in some other way than the listener.

2) EQUALITY is defined as “the state or quality of being equal; correspondence in quantity, degree, value, rank, or ability.”

2. Defense-Arousing Communication: The Bottom Line a. Each defense-arousing category creates a relationship imbalance. b. Maintaining a balance of power is critical in a relationship. c. See Table 10.2: Reducing Defensiveness in Others 3. See Activity 10.3: Preventing or Reducing Defensiveness in Others to practice identifying defense-arousing messages and replacing them with more supportive alternatives.

C. Reducing Our Own Defensiveness 1. What Are Nondefensive Responsive Types? a. These responses are useful in responding to criticism without beginning a downward spiral and fall into three general categories.

1) Accurate criticism may be handled by agreeing and admitting that a mistake was made. i. Critical Thinking Question: When was the last time someone criticized you and was right? How did you handle it?

2) Inaccurate criticism may be handled by recognizing the speaker’s perspective.

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3) Unclear criticism requires clarification about what was said, what is wanted or expected, and/or what else might be wrong. b. Is There a Multipurpose Nondefensive Response Option?

1) Paraphrasing may be used to gain insight and show compassion for the critic.

2) Paraphrasing may be construed as a genuine attempt to empathize and understand the concern.

3) Paraphrasing builds trust and improves the overall quality of relationship communication.

2. See Table 10.3: Responding Nondefensively to Criticism for a summary of nondefensive responses to criticism.

3. See Activity 10.4: Responding Nondefensively to Criticism to identify and practice ways you can respond nondefensively to criticism.

Resolving Conflict: An Integrative Approach A. Preview Questions 1. When you want to resolve an important conflict with someone, what are five important steps toward an integrative solution?

2. What is one current conflict you are facing in your own life for which the integrative approach might be useful?

B. What is the Win-Win Method?

1. WIN-WIN METHOD is used to meet the needs of each party fully, without making sacrifices.

2. Guidelines for engaging the Win-Win Method: A Five Step Approach a. Step One: Identify the Problem 1) Begin with honest, personal reflection about the problem, including what is needed for the solution to be effective.

2) Use I-statements to facilitate interaction and understanding. b. Step Two: Set a Time and Place to Discuss the Issue 1) Allow enough time to deal with all the issues.

2) Select a venue that is not distracting or threatening. c. Step Three: Exchange Viewpoints 1) Use notes, if needed, to keep the conversation on track.

2) Use respectful and sensitive turn-taking while observing your partner’s verbal and nonverbal responses.

3) Identify what is and is not agreed upon and what each person needs to feel good about in the outcome. d. Step Four: Brainstorm and Analyze Options 1) Accept all potential solutions and write them down.

2) Go back and consider the advantages and disadvantages of each solution.

3) Mutually select the best option and decide how it will be implemented. e. Step Five: Set a Time to Follow Up

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1) Don’t assume your solution will always work!

2) Decide on a trial period and meet to discuss progress after it is over.

3) Adjust the solution through mutual input and consent.

3. See Table 10.4: Steps to Win-Win Problem Solving.

Effective Conflict Resolution: Some Final Words A. Do You Agree?

1. The more you know about yourself, your personality, and your emotions, the better you can regulate your interactions with others.

2. The more you know about the social and cultural factors that influence perceptions and prejudices, the more understanding you can be of varying viewpoints.

3. Communication skills—clear verbal and nonverbal language, supportive relational climates, and effective listening—all help reduce the likelihood of conflict and make people better prepared to effectively resolve conflict.

Preview Questions Personal Conflict Styles 1. Describe the two main factors in the dual-concern model of conflict.

2. How do these two factors combine to create five specific conflict styles?

3. What are the strengths and weaknesses of each of the five conflict styles in the dualconcern model?

4. What is passive-aggressive behavior, and why is it so harmful?

Personality and Cultural Influences on Conflict Styles 1. How do personality traits affect conflict style?

2. Describe three cultural influences on conflict style.

Reducing Defensiveness in Conflict Resolution 1. Describe six common types of defense-arousing communication, along with a more supportive alternative for each one.

2. What is the most effective type of response when someone is criticizing us and the criticism is accurate? How should we respond when it is not accurate?

3. When criticism is unclear, or you don’t understand how it is relevant to the other person, what are several options for responding non-defensively?

4. What is an effective non-defensive response style that can be used in many different situations?

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Critical Thinking Questions Passive-Aggressive Behavior 1. Do you or someone you know engage in passive-aggressive behavior?

2. Identify a specific example for your own life, along with the consequences of it.

3. What would have been a more effective solution?

Personality and Conflict Style 1. Based on the Big Five questionnaire you completed in Chapter 3 and the traits that describe you based on that, do you see any connections between your personality traits and your conflict style?

Defense-Arousing Communication 1. When was the last time someone criticized you and was right?

2. How did you handle it?

Class Activities Out of Site and Into Mind!

In their guide to reading and understanding research, Locke, Silverman, and Spirduso (1998) recommend using the following five basic questions to guide the critical analysis of research reports. Those questions are: 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

What is the report about?

How does the study fit into what is already known?

How was the study done?

What was found?

What do the results mean?

Another area to consider is the source of the information, especially when that source is the World Wide Web (Web). The Web is an invaluable resource for obtaining information and learning about almost everything imaginable. Not all information found on websites is accurate, factual, or even true. A critical skill for today’s learners is the ability to evaluate Web resources when using these for a research-based assignment.

This assignment is designed to help students evaluate information found on the Web so they can then answer the five questions above.

• •

Instruct students to develop a 2-page research report on a topic related to this chapter.

The paper must contain 5 Web-based resources that are to be evaluated using the Web Checker (see Handout 10.1: Web Checker Assignment) before the paper is written. Only high-quality, empirically based resources may be used.

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After the evaluations of the resources are completed, students should integrate their resources and complete the assignment.

Active Listening to Affirm In a conflict situation, people’s most important need is often to sort out their own ideas and feelings. Finding someone who can act as a sounding board can help them to do this. This activity helps students to practice active listening to affirm another person.

Introduction: • Tell students that listening to affirm is a skill which requires much practice. Working with a partner, you will each have the opportunity to try your active listening skills.

• Round 1 o Partner A should select a matter which is of concern to him or her. Advise students to select something which has some degree of emotional importance, but it should also be something about which the student is willing (and able) to share comfortably with Partner B. o Partner B should listen very attentively to Partner A, reflecting on the essence of what is heard. Advise Partner Bs to rely mainly on paraphrasing and summarizing what Partner A says. Encourage students to allow some time for silences, and only probe with questions when the flow from Partner A diminishes. The goal is to take care so that questions do not lead away from Partner A’s main concerns. o Allow 10 minutes.

• Pair Discussion: Ask partners to shave with each other what they experienced. o How did it feel to be listened to so attentively? o What worked and what didn’t? o What areas can be improved?

• Round 2 o Reverse partners and repeat the activity; speaker becomes listener and listener becomes speaker. o Complete the entire process. o Allow 10 minutes.

• Discussion: After all pairs have completed the exercise, ask the following questions. o When you were a speaker, did you say more that you thought you would? Less? Why did that happen? o When you were a speaker, did you feel heard? If so, what gave you that feeling? o When you were a listener, did you find yourself wanting to give advice, reassure, and share your own experience? Were you able to refrain from doing so? o Were there spaces in your conversations? How did that feel? Did either person want to stop the silence and fill it in? o What do you think is the most important thing you learned today about empathic listening? © The CRN PO Box 1016 Chatswood NSW 2057 Australia

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Ph 61294198500 Fax 61 2 9413 1148 email crn@crnhq.org web http://www.crnhq.org Class Activities Within the Text Activity 10.1: Conflict Myths in Your Life This exercise helps students explore how myths about conflict have affected their own relationships. Handout 10.2 is a hard copy of the form.

Activity 10.2A: Conflict Style Inventory • Part 1 of this exercise asks students to complete a 29-question inventory about their own conflict style.

• Part 2 involves scoring of the inventory.

• Part 3 asks students to answer five questions to reflect upon their scores. Handout 10.3 is a hard copy of the form.

Activity 10.2B: Reflecting on Your Conflict Styles This activity continues the discussion of conflict styles from Activity 10.2A. Activity 10.3: Preventing or Reducing Defensiveness in Others Students are provided the opportunities to practice identifying defense-arousing messages and replacing them with more supportive alternatives. Handout 10.4 is a hard copy of the form.

Activity 10.4: Responding Nondefensively to Criticism This activity uses eight scenarios to help students practice developing their skill at responding nondefensively to criticism. Handout 10.5 is a hard copy of the form.

Handouts Handout 10.1: Web Checker Assignment Handout 10.2 (Activity 10.1): Conflict Myths in Your Life Handout 10.3 (Activity 10.2A): Conflict Style Inventory Handout 10.4 (Activity 10.3): Preventing or Reducing Defensiveness in Others Handout 10.5 (Activity 10.4): Responding Nondefensively to Criticism Handout 10.6: Block Puzzle Sample Solutions Handout 10.7: Two Minute Check Handout 10.8: Two Minute Check Results Handout 10.9: Two Minute Check Results Checklist

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NAME:___________________________ DATE:____________________________

HANDOUT 10.1: WEB CHECKER ASSIGNMENT In their guide to reading and understanding research, Locke, Silverman, and Spirduso (1998) recommend using the following five basic questions to guide the critical analysis of research reports. Those questions are: 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

What is the report about?

How does the study fit into what is already known?

How was the study done?

What was found?

What do the results mean?

Another area to consider is the source of the information, especially when that source is the World Wide Web (Web). The Web is an invaluable resource for obtaining information and learning about almost everything imaginable. Not all information found on websites is accurate, factual, or even true. A critical skill for today’s learners is the ability to evaluate Web resources when using these for a research-based assignment.

This assignment is designed to help you evaluate information found on the Web so you can then answer the five questions above and integrate accurate information into a mini-research paper.

Assignment Overview • For this assignment, you are to develop a 2-page mini-research report on ONE of the topics below o Topic 1: How do personality traits affect personality style? o Topic 2: How is the win-win method related to effective conflict resolution?

• The paper must be research-based and contain 5 Web-based resources. Only high-quality, empirically based Web resources may be used. To ensure that your resources meet these criteria, you must use the attached Web Checker to evaluate your resources before writing your paper.

• After the evaluation of the resources is completed, integrate your Web resources and complete the assignment.

Grading Criteria • This assignment is worth up to 50 points (25 points for the paper and 25 points for the Web resource evaluations).

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NAME:______________________________________________ DATE:___________________________

WEB CHECKER Article Title:____________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________________

URL__________________________________________________________________________________________ To evaluate the content of the website you are considering, use the criteria below to decide if the information is appropriate.

• Check “Y’ for “Yes,” “N” for “No,” and “NA” for “Not Applicable.”

• Use the Comments section for brief notes to help you remember important points about the website.

• Complete one Web Checker form for each resource you include in your paper.

Evaluation Criteria 1. The author(s) of the article is clearly identified.

2. Information about the author(s) academic credentials is clearly identified (e.g., education, institution, other).

3. Contact information for the author(s) is available.

4. According to the information found, the author(s) appears qualified to present information on this topic.

5. The identity of the site publisher is clear (this could be a journal, an academic unit, an agency, or other entity), and the URL domain is appropriate (e.g., edu, gov, org).

6. The website is current, and the revision date is available.

7. Updates and links are current and in working order.

8. The purpose of the website is clear.

9. The purpose of the article is clear.

10. The information is well organized and easily accessed within the site.

11. The information is unbiased or openly acknowledges a single perspective.

12. The information is contained within a research-based study.

13. The study approach meets the same criteria found in any respected, refereed journal or publication.

14. References are contained within the text of the article and in a separate reference section.

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Yes No

NA Comments

15. Reference information is complete and accurate and can be located as listed.

16. Most references are theoretic or research-based.

17. The information in the article will add to my understanding of the topic I have selected for my paper.

NAME:______________________________ DATE:____________________________

HANDOUT 10.2: CONFLICT MYTHS IN YOUR LIFE Instructions: All three myths about conflict we just discussed can interfere with our ability to effectively resolve conflict and maintain healthy relationships. Examine how at least one myth has influenced your own life and relationships by answering these questions.

1. Which myth tends to be most problematic for you?

2. Describe an example that illustrates how this myth influenced your approach to or perception of a recent conflict you faced in a personal or work relationship.

3. How did the conflict myth shape your thoughts, feelings, and actions in the conflict?

4. Now, in light of your new knowledge about conflict myths, what is one thing you could have done differently in that situation to set yourself on a more positive course? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

NAME:______________________________ DATE: ____________________________

HANDOUT 10.3: CONFLICT STYLE INVENTORY PART 1 Instructions: For each of the following statements, choose a number between 1 and 5 that represents the degree to which you agree or disagree with the statement.

(1 = strongly disagree, 5 = strongly agree)

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1. I like to help others get what they want.

2. I think it is important that everyone share ideas in order to fully understand a problem.

3. I try to work with others to find solutions that satisfy all of us.

4. I am not comfortable openly discussing differences with others.

5. I am comfortable putting pressure on others when I want an issue to go my way.

6. I like to try to find a middle ground or compromise to resolve disagreements.

7. I can generally influence others to go along with my ideas.

8. In competitive situations, I exert my authority to get others to do what I want.

9. I often give in to accommodate others’ wishes.

10. I think it is important to keep my personal disagreements with others private so our relationships don’t suffer.

11. I try to avoid unpleasant exchanges with people.

12. I think it is important to exchange viewpoints and information in order to solve problems with others.

13. I sometimes bend over backwards to make people happy.

14. I am comfortable taking a moderate position so that a compromise can be reached.

15. I often propose a middle ground for breaking deadlocks.

16. I generally try to negotiate a compromise with others when we are at an impasse.

17. Whenever possible, I keep my opinions to myself when others might disagree so that everyone can try to get along.

18. I prefer to avoid situations that may cause conflict with others.

19. I can generally get others to make decisions in my favor when I use my expertise to influence them.

20. I usually try go along with suggestions that other people make.

21. I think it is important to go into negotiations with a give-and-take attitude so everyone gets some of what they want.

22. I like to bring everyone’s concerns out into the open so we can resolve issues as effectively as possible.

23. I place a high value on collaborating with others to reach mutually acceptable agreements.

24. It’s important to me to satisfy others’ expectations.

25. I am comfortable taking a power position in order to get what I want.

Source: Adapted from Deborah Cai and Edward L. Fink. (2002). Conflict style differences between individualists and collectivists. Communication Monographs, 69, 67–87. Copyright 2002.

PART 2: SCORING Instructions: Score your inventory by adding up sets of numbers as follows: A. Add up your scores for 1, 9, 13, 20, and 24; then divide the total by 5.

This is your Accommodating Score. ________ B. Add up your scores for 6, 14, 15, 16, and 21; then divide the total by 5.

This is your Compromising Score. ________

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C. Add up your scores for 2, 3, 12, 22, 23; then divide the total by 5.

This is your Integrating Score. ________ D. Add up your scores for 4, 10, 11, 17, 18; then divide the total by 5.

This is your Avoiding Score. ________ E. Add up your scores for 5, 7, 8, 19, and 25; then divide the total by 5.

This is your Dominating Score. ________ PART 3 Based on your final scores, answer the following questions: 1. What was your highest score? Name the style, and discuss how it explains your general approach to conflict. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ 2.

What was your second-highest score? Was it very close to your highest score or significantly lower? Discuss how it interacts with your highest score to influence your general approach to conflict. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

3.

Discuss one thing that works pretty well about your preferred conflict style; in other words, what is one advantage for you about it? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

4.

Discuss one disadvantage you’ve found in using your preferred conflict style. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

5.

Finally, what is one specific way you could improve your general approach to conflict?

(This answer might include incorporating more of one of your lower scores, etc.) ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

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NAME:___________________________ DATE:______________________________

HANDOUT 10.4: PREVENTING OR REDUCING DEFENSIVENESS IN OTHERS Instructions: For each of the following scenarios, identify one or two of Gibb’s categories of defense-arousing communication that are impacting the statement. Then rewrite the original statement in a way that replaces the defense-arousing statement with more supportive language.

Following are Gibb’s categories: 1. Evaluation vs. Description 2. Strategy vs. Spontaneity 3. Superiority vs. Equality 4. Control vs. Problem Orientation 5. Neutrality vs. Empathy 6. Certainty vs. Provisionalism Defense-arousing communication Example: Girl to her older brother: “You don’t have a life. All you do is play on the computer!”

1.

2.

3.

4.

Defense-arousing styles Evaluation, certainty

Girl to her ex-boyfriend: “You’re never going to graduate from high school, and you’ll just end up in a blue-collar job for the rest of your life!”

Guy to his roommate: “You’re too condescending!”

One person to roommate: “If you’re going to charge me for gas money every time we do anything together, then I’ll just take the bus.”

One person to a co-worker: “You keep whining about missing your girlfriend, and we’re tired of listening to

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More supportive way of communicating: “I’ve noticed that you’ve been playing on your computer several hours a day lately. I’m concerned that you might be neglecting the other aspects of your life. Can we talk about this?”

you. Why don’t you just move to Arizona so you can be with her?”

5. Girl to her brother: “If I thought about business half as much as you do, I’d be 10 times more successful than you.”

6. One person to a friend: “You’ve got to get your drinking under control.”

7. One person to her brother: “All you do is party. You’re wasting the money Mom and Dad are spending to put you through school.”

8. A woman to her ex-husband: “You always take what I say the wrong way. I think we should just communicate in writing from now on.”

9. One friend to another: “That class wasn’t hard when I took it. I’m tired of hearing about all the problems you’re having with it.”

10. A boss to an employee: “You’re always having to take time off work to take care of your baby. I’m going to have to let you go if this continues.”

11. Write your own, from your own life NAME:_______________________________ DATE:___________________________

HANDOUT 10.5: RESPONDING NONDEFENSIVELY TO CRITICISM Instructions: For each of the following scenarios, identify two different ways you could respond nondefensively to the speaker. In your responses, choose from the following nondefensive response styles: 1. Ask for specifics 2. Paraphrase speaker’s ideas

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3. Ask about the consequences of your behaviour 4. Agree with the truth 5. Guess about specifics 6. Ask what the critic wants 7. Ask what else is wrong 8. Agree with the critic’s perception Scenario of Nondefensive Response Example: A boss says to an employee: “Don’t ever treat a customer that way again.”

1. A mom says to her daughter: “If you move in with those other girls you’ll just end up fighting with them because you have a hard personality to live with.”

2. A husband to his wife: “Must be nice to have a day off to just do whatever you want.”

3. A guy to his girlfriend: “You spend way too much money on clothes.”

4. One person to his friend: “You should invest in a better car. Your car seems like it is really falling apart.”

5. One roommate to another: “You’re neurotic!”

6. A mother to her daughter: “It’s almost impossible to get a book of poetry published.

You won’t be able to do it.”

7. A mother to her son: “You never do anything unless I tell you to!”

8. A girl to her boyfriend: “Your life is out of control— you have no direction!”

9. (Write your own)

Nondefensive Response Type 1. Ask what the critic wants 1. “What would you like me to do differently next time?”

How you could say it 1. “What would you like me to do differently next time?”

2. “You’re right; I lost my temper.

I’m sorry.”

2. Agree with the truth 1.

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2.

2.

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2.

1.

2.

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2.

1.

2.

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10. (Write your own)

2.

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2.

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HANDOUT 10.6:

BLOCK PUZZLE SAMPLE SOLUTIONS

© The CRN PO Box 1016 Chatswood NSW 2057 Australia Ph 61294198500 Fax 61 2 9413 1148 email crn@crnhq.org web http://www.crnhq.org

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NAME:_________________________________ DATE:_________________________

HANDOUT 10.7: TWO MINUTE CHECK Please take two minutes to answer the following questions about the chapter we are beginning.

•

List two things you already know about conflict and conflict resolution.

1.

____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

2.

____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

•

List two things you would like to learn about conflict and conflict resolution. Please be specific.

1.

____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

2.

____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

NAME:_________________________________ DATE:__________________________

HANDOUT 10.8: TWO MINUTE CHECK RESULTS Thank you for sharing your ideas in the two minute check we did this week.

• •

Here are some things you already know about conflict and conflict resolution.

Here are some things you would like to learn about conflict and conflict resolution.

NAME:_________________________________ DATE:_________________________

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HANDOUT 10.9: TWO MINUTE CHECK RESULTS CHECKLIST Chapter:___________________________________________________ Topic

Date Covered

□ Conflict resolution □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □

12/3/16

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□ □ □

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Chapter 11: Key Concepts in Intimate Relationships Chapter Overview This chapter focuses on love relationships. What influences attraction and love? Does the meaning of love vary with different cultures or at different times of our lives? And what can we do to avoid common pitfalls of love relationships, and instead, keep them strong and healthy throughout our lives? These are the questions that are explored throughout this chapter.

Learning Objectives • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Analyze several different perspectives on love in modern times, throughout history, and in various cultures Distinguish between passionate and companionate love Summarize Sternberg’s triangular theory of love Describe Lee’s love typology and the relationship between love styles and relationship patterns Describe cultural variations in the patterns and expectations of love Discuss factors influencing attraction and mate selection Explain how proximity influences the development of relationships Describe the impact of physical attractiveness on relationships Explain how similarities influence attraction Differentiate online attraction from face-to-face attraction Describe strategies for maintaining healthy long-term relationships Determine realistic expectations for couples about long-term relationships Summarize Gottman’s seven principles for healthy relationships

Key Terms and Concepts Intimacy Symmetry Passion Waist-hip ratio Commitment Social exchange theory Liking Demographic Infatuation Passionate love Empty love

Companionate love Romantic love Love maps Companionate love Positive attributions Fatuous love Emotional bank account Consummate love The Four Horsemen Eros Criticism Ludus

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Contempt Storge Defensiveness Pragma Stonewalling Mania Soft startup Agape Repair attempts Proximity Gridlock Mere exposure effect

Chapter Outline I. What Is Love?

A. Preview Questions 1. What are the three main elements in Sternberg’s love theory, and how do they combine to form four additional combinations?

2. What are the primary styles of loving in Lee’s theory, and how do they combine to form three secondary styles?

B. Sternberg’s Triangle of Love Theory 1. See Figure 11.1: Sternberg’s Love Triangle.

2. What does Sternberg say? a. Love relies on three primary elements from which several combinations result. b. Each of the relationships (primary elements) can independently constitute a love relationship.

3. What are the primary elements? a. INTIMACY includes trust, caring, warmth, honesty, and a deep level of understanding and knowledge about each other (emotional).

1) LIKING is intimacy. b. PASSION involves sexual desire and physical attraction.

1) INFATUATION is passion without intimacy or commitment. c. COMMITMENT is the conscious decision that one loves the other person and is willing to make certain sacrifices to maintain that relationship over the long term.

1) EMPTY LOVE is commitment in the absence of intimacy and passion.

4. What happens when the elements are combined? a. ROMANTIC LOVE is the combination of intimacy and passion. b. COMPANIONATE LOVE is love that includes intimacy and commitment, but no passion. c. FATUOUS LOVE is made up of commitment and passion, without intimacy.

1) Critical Thinking Question: Can you think of any situations that might promote fatuous love, or influence a couple to marry or commit almost immediately in a relationship? d. CONSUMMATE LOVE is love that is made up of all three elements: intimacy, passion, and commitment.

5. See Activity 11.1: The Love Triangle in Your Life to examine how Sternberg’s Triangle Theory might explain some of the love relationships in your life and in the lives of those around you.

C. What Are Lee’s Love Styles?

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II.

1. Lee (1977, 1988) identifies individualistic primary and secondary styles of loving another person. a. See Activity 11.2: Reflections on Your Love Styles.

2. Lee’s Primary Styles a. EROS, or erotic love, is love that is based primarily on physical attraction and a strong sense of passion toward the love object. b. LUDUS is game-playing love, in which a person sees love as a game of skill and strategy. c. STORGE is stable love, typically deep and long-term, in which the relationship is based on a strong friendship and mutual respect.

3. Lee’s Secondary Styles a. PRAGMA is practical love that results from an objective evaluation of the advantages and disadvantages of a particular love relationship or love object. b. MANIA is an obsessive, desperate, and possessive type of love in which jealousy and doubt prevail. c. AGAPE is a deep abiding love that is not without passion and is also selfless.

4. See Figure 11.2: Lee’s Love Styles for a summary of Lee’s love styles. a. Research validates the existence of these styles and indicates changes over time and context in individual love styles.

D. Gender and Cultural Differences in Love Styles 1. Findings using Lee’s typology indicate women are more likely to use the pragma and storge love styles; men are more likely to favor ludus.

2. Asian Americans prefer storge and pragma styles more than Latinos, African Americans, or European Americans.

3. Latino Americans prefer ludus more than European Americans.

4. Agape is more prevalent among French participants than Americans who preferred storge and mania.

E. See Activity 11.2: Reflections on Your Love Styles to complete the scoring and reflection sections of the self-assessment.

Falling in Love: Attraction and Mate Selection A. Preview Questions 1. What is proximity, and how does it influence the relationships we develop?

2. What are three common ways of measuring physical attractiveness? To what extent do standards for physical attractiveness vary cross-culturally? Overall, how important is physical attractiveness in relationships?

3. What aspects of similarity are important in relationships?

226 .

4. When people develop online relationships, do these same factors apply?

B. Proximity and Relationships 1. PROXIMITY is the geographical closeness to another person.

2. Proximity is effective because of convenience and exposure. a. It is easier to spend time together when travel time is eliminated. b. MERE EXPOSURE EFFECT implies people tend to like others more when they have seen them more frequently, even if they have not spoken to the person. Time together fosters relationships.

3. Critical Thinking Question: Although the power of proximity may seem like common sense, take a moment to consider its implications for your own relationships. If we are most likely to develop relationships with those we see most often, who are these people in your life? Are you in an environment that suits you with people who truly interest you and share your values? Or did you choose your school, classes, workplace, or neighborhood based on convenience or necessity? Knowing the potential longterm impact of proximity, are you satisfied with your choices? If not, what is one adjustment you might make?

C. Physical Attractiveness 1. Society assumes “what is beautiful is good.” Do you agree? a. Quick judgments are formed on the bases of physical appearance and attractive people are judged to be more socially skilled, intelligent, and well-adjusted. b. Attractiveness or beauty is culturally contrived.

2. Facial features. See Figure 11.4: What Constitutes Physical Beauty? a. Women: big eyes, full lips, small chin and nose, welldefined cheekbones with narrow cheeks, broad smile. b. Men: strong jaws and broad foreheads. c. Both: clear skin and strong, white teeth d. Infants demonstrate preference for faces with these features.

3. Symmetry a. SYMMETRY refers to how symmetrical, well-matched, or balanced one side of a person’s face and body is, compared to the other.

4. Waist-Hip Ratio a. WAIST-HIP RATIO is determined by a person’s proportions. Specifically, how big is the waist as compared to the hips? b. Women = 0.7 WHR and Men = 0.9 WHR are rated most attractive.

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c. A logical explanation for the WHR preference 1) People with preferred WHRs tend to be healthier than those with larger or smaller ratios.

2) Women with preferred WHRs are more fertile; they get pregnant more easily.

3) Clear skin and eyes indicate good health.

4) Preferred facial features tend to represent youth and vitality. d. Women are most attracted to symmetrical men when women are fertile and are more likely to achieve orgasm than with an asymmetrical male partner.

5. Cultural Norms and Attraction a. Once basic physical standards (i.e., facial features, symmetry, WHR) are met, cultural and societal norms influence further definitions of beauty. b. How is this related to the concept “thin is beautiful’? c. Critical Thinking Question: The preceding paragraphs have explained our preference for attractive mates in two ways: for biological/evolutionary reasons, and as a result of sociocultural influence. Challenge yourself to identify at least one other possible explanation. Hint: Consider the theories discussed in Chapter 3 to see which one might best explain our interest in attractive mates.

6. Matching in Physical Attractiveness a. Most people tend to pursue others in the same category of attractiveness when they show reciprocal interest. b. One exception to this rule is SOCIAL EXCHANGE THEORY in which the general principle is that, in relationships, we want the best we can get for what we have to offer, and we might “exchange” what we have for something a potential partner is offering (Blau, 1964; Sprecher, 1998).

1) Two people who have different “good qualities” to offer might be attracted if each places a high value on what the other has. c. Individual and Group Differences in the Value of Attractiveness 1) See Table 11.1: Buss’s Cross-Cultural Findings of Preference in Mate Selection for a listing of crosscultural preferences.

2) Kindness, trustworthiness, and dependability tend to matter more to both genders.

3) Men rank physical attractiveness higher than women.

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III.

4) High self-monitors are more likely to adjust behaviors to fit in. High self-monitor men prefer physical attractiveness to personality.

7. Attractiveness in Long-Term Relationships a. Emotional stability, an agreeable personality, and trustworthiness consistently emerge as three more important factors in long-term relationships. Physical attractiveness falls close behind (with higher male preference).

D. Similarity 1. Similarity influences attraction. a. Demographic similarity 1) DEMOGRAPHICS refers to population statistics, such as age, race, religion, income level, educational level, and other basic types of information you might find in a census report.

2) Attractiveness is related to demographic similarity. b. Attitude and values similarity 1) We are more likely to be interested in those who share similar viewpoints on important issues and beliefs.

2) Spending time with like others confirms a sense of “being right” and is self-affirming. c. Personality similarity 1) Similarity in two traits predicts marital satisfaction: pleasantness and dominance.

2. Final Thoughts on Similarity a. A greater degree in similarity of married couples does not necessarily mean that similarity will make a couple more likely to marry. b. In a happy relationship, partners notice and remember the ways they are similar more than the ways they are not.

E. Attraction on the Internet: Do the Same Factors Apply?

1. Internet partners have greater control over their self-presentation and pace of the relationship. a. Physical attractiveness may be less important (initially) and self-disclosure is easier. b. Partners may be more prone to dishonesty. Flirting and erotic activities may be easier to conduct but may also create unrealistic expectations if the relationship develops offline.

2. Cyberspace appears to be a good “training ground” for learning about personal relationship interests and sexuality.

3. The Internet allows the development of relationships in a way that is intimate but separate.

Making Relationships Work: Keys to Healthy Long-Term Relationships 229 .

A. Realistic Expectations 1. Knowing what to expect and how to cope with it constructively affects how a couple deals with problems and changes.

B. Passionate and Companionate Love 1. Initial relationships are typically characterized by passionate love. This wanes over time when thresholds are reached and familiarity is attained.

2. Ultimately, the intensity of passionate love is short-lived, and neurochemical levels slowly return to normal as people get to know partners better and more realistically.

C. Companionate Love 1. Companionate love increases over time in healthy relationships.

2. Passionate love may trigger relationships, but companionate love sustains them.

3. Newer research suggests that a decrease in one does not always create an increase in the other. The most satisfied married couples report still feeling passionate love.

4. Companionate love, with its emphasis on intimacy, feels stable, warm, dependable, and emotionally supportive.

D. The Big Picture: How do some couples sustain both kinds of love?

1. Passion is fueled by brain chemicals that respond to the novelty of the situation. Couples who balance the familiar with the unfamiliar report more passionate love.

2. Passion is a function of change in emotion and can be sustained by a change in the relationship. Couples who engage in novel and exciting situations increase relationship satisfaction.

3. A decision to give birth at home may be an indicator of a strong value of intimacy.

4. Neurochemistry plays a role. Oxytocin is released by both partners during sex and functions to increase pair bonding. Initial passion may be biologically driven by providing motivation for having sex with one’s partner, ultimately resulting in a “feedback loop” in which sex fuels intimacy.

E. Gottman’s Seven Principles 1. Enhancing love maps. a. Healthy couples have LOVE MAPS that are created out of a deep and broad awareness of their partner. b. Love maps develop out of self-disclosure, careful listening, and attending. c. Richer, more detailed maps sustain intimacy and relationship satisfaction. d. See Activity 11.3: Building a Love Map to learn more about a partner.

2. Nurturing fondness and admiration.

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a. Holding POSITIVE ATTRIBUTIONS involves interpreting positive experiences as normal in a relationship, and giving your partner the benefit of the doubt in negative situations. b. Positive attributions build and maintain supportive climates.

3. Turning toward each other instead of away. a. EMOTIONAL BANK ACCOUNTS are created by continuing to make small, everyday sacrifices and by making efforts to notice and appreciate the kindnesses of your partner. b. This builds general goodwill and positive feelings in a relationship. c. Critical Thinking Question: Think of a close relationship of your own: it can be a romantic relationship, a close friend, or a family relationship. In this relationship, identify at least five things that you do to foster goodwill in the relationship, and five things the other person does for you that make you feel valued. Remember to include “the little things.”

4. Letting your partner influence you. a. Shared power is important in a relationship. Yet, young males and females may have different cultural and early life experiences.

1) Girls’ play involves communication focused games; boys’ focus on dominance oriented activities.

2) Girls’ games involve power sharing and reciprocity; boys’ play is consistently led by one or two dominant males.

3) Women initiate discussions about conflict more often; men are not well versed in listening to others’ perspectives or showing openness to others’ suggestions.

4) Resistance to influence from others erodes mutual respect and power-sharing in modern romantic relationships.

5. Solving your problems. a. Conflict management in relationships 1) Amount of conflict is NOT a good predictor of overall relationship health. The key to relationship health lies in the ratio of positive interactions to negative interactions. A five to one ratio maintains a healthy relationship.

2) There is no “one size fits all” method of conflict resolution.

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b. Key factors in conflict escalation = THE FOUR HORSEMEN, which is a metaphoric phase in what Gottman sees as the apocalyptic demise of many marriages.

1) CRITICISM is directed at the person (rather than the behavior) and includes blame and negative judgment.

2) CONTEMPT conveys a strong message of disrespect.

3) DEFENSIVENESS involves avoiding taking any responsibility for the problem, and instead deflecting it back toward the other person.

4) STONEWALLING is when one partner withdraws from a conversation, either by clamming up or by physically leaving the room and the discussion.

6. Overcoming gridlock. a. See Figure 11.9: Conflict Management Do’s and Don’ts b. Gottman identifies five tools used in effective conflict resolution.

1) Creating a SOFT STARTUP involves beginning a conflict discussion with I-language.

2) REPAIRING ATTEMPTS involve anything— verbal or nonverbal—that a partner does to try to make things a little more positive and less tense during a conflict.

3) SELF- SOOTHING AND SOOTHING EACH OTHER is a response to the flooding of stress hormones that often lead to stonewalling.

4) FINDING A COMMON GROUND involves seeking out a mutually accepted point about anything on which a couple can agree.

5) ACCEPTING EACH OTHER’S FLAW implies acceptance of basic personality differences that may frustrate a partner and learning to say thank you.

7. Creating shared meaning. a. By incorporating these principles, behavior patterns, and priorities into a relation, couples develop increased closeness and intimacy. b. This creates a sense of shared meaning that helps them to work together in a positive, sustaining constant feedback loop.

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Preview Questions What Is Love?

1. What are the three main elements in Sternberg’s love theory, and how do they combine to form four additional combinations?

2. What are the primary styles of loving in Lee’s theory, and how do they combine to form three secondary styles?

Falling in Love 1. What is proximity, and how does it influence the relationships we develop?

2. What are three common ways of measuring physical attractiveness?

3. To what extent do standards for physical attractiveness vary cross-culturally?

4. Overall, how important is physical attractiveness in relationships?

Making Relationships Work: Keys to Healthy Long-Term Relationships 1. How does love typically change over the course of a long-term relationship?

2. What are love maps, and how do they influence long-term relationships?

3. How are attributions, an emotional bank account, and shared power important in long-term relationships?

4. What are the Four Horsemen, and how do they affect conflict resolution?

5. Describe five tools that help a couple manage conflict effectively.

Critical Thinking Questions Fatuous Love 1. Can you think of any situations that might promote fatuous love, or influence a couple to marry or commit almost immediately in a relationship?

Proximity 1. Although the power of proximity may seem like common sense, take a moment to consider its implications for our own relationships. If we are most likely to develop relationships with those we see most often, who are these people in your own life?

2. Are you in an environment that suits you with people who truly interest you and share your values?

3. Or did you choose your school, classes, workplace, or neighborhood based on convenience or necessity?

4. Knowing the potential long-term impact of proximity, are you satisfied with your choices? If not, what is one adjustment you might make?

Cultural Norms and Attraction 1. The preceding paragraphs have explained our preference for attractive mates in two ways: for biological/evolutionary reasons, and as a result of sociocultural influence.

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2. Challenge yourself to identify at least one other possible explanation. Hint: Consider the theories discussed in Chapter 3 to see which one might explain our interest in attractive mates.

Build an “Emotional Bank Account” 1. Think of a close relationship of your own: it can be a romantic relationship, a close friendship, or a family relationship.

2. In this relationship, identify at least five things that you do to foster goodwill in the relationship, and five things the other person does for you to make you feel valued. Remember to include “the little things.”

Class Activities Genogram: A genogram is a detailed diagrammatic representation of a family’s system of rules, roles, relationships, and other significant experiences and events. Characteristics might include health factors, genetic factors (e.g., eye color), personality traits (e.g., outgoing, controlling, etc.), occupations, parenting styles, and hobbies. Important dates should include birth dates, death dates (for those deceased), and marriage dates.

Characteristics might include health factors, genetic factors (e.g., eye color), personality traits (e.g., outgoing, controlling, etc.), occupations, parenting styles, hobbies, etc. o Students are asked to construct a family genogram. This genogram must include three generations of which the student is the first generation, their parents are the second generation, and their grandparents are the third generation. If they have a spouse, children or grandchildren, these people should also be included (children would be a fourth generation and grandchildren, a fifth generation). o The following resource should be used to guide this project.

Boomer, E., Reagan, D., & Galindo, I. (2006). A Family Genogram Workbook.

Richmond, VA: Educational Consultants.

This is a guide to understanding family and how is shaped by individuals. The workbook has four chapters, including a step-by-step tutorial, work pages, and basic information on how to interpret and how to use the genogram. It is a very student-friendly resource.

Examining the Color of Love After discussing the components of love, challenge students to stretch their thinking (and perhaps their comfort levels) with a reaction paper assignment that explores the nature and benefits of cross-race relationships.

Students may select one the following readings on which to write their reaction paper: Gaines, Jr., S.O. & Leaver, J. (2002). Interracial relationships. In R. Goodwin and D. Cramer (Eds.), Inappropriate relationships: The unconventional, the disapproved, and the forbidden (pp. 65-8). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.

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Kao, G. & Joyner, K. (2004). Do race and ethnicity matter among friends? Activities among interracial, inter-ethnic, and intra-ethnic adolescent friends. Sociological Quarterly, 45, 557-574.

Miller, S.C., Olson, M.A., & Fazio, R.H. (2004). Perceived reactions to interracial romantic relationships: When race is used as a cue to status. Group Processes and Intergroup Relations, 7, 354-369.

Writing Guidelines: • •

After selecting and reading your article, answer the questions below.

Remember, this is not a summary of the article, but a reaction to the information you have read. Even though you will need to provide brief descriptions for some of the question, your paper primarily should be analytic rather than descriptive. o Start with a title page. o After the title page, begin the body of your paper with a brief summary of the article (no more than one paragraph). The summary should include the author’s thesis and the main points that support his or her thesis and argument. o Concisely restate the main thesis made by the author in the article. Briefly explain why you think it is the main idea. o What information does the author provide to support his or her argument? Is the information convincingly supportive? Explain. o Identify and explain any concepts about intimate relationships from the textbook that are pertinent to this article. Clearly state the pertinence in each case. Be sure to identify the concept and the textbook pages where they are discussed. o How has this article impacted your thinking? Did you like or dislike it? Did it have “shock value”? How does it relate to your life? o How will you integrate the exposure of this information into your understanding about human relationships? Be specific. o Include a reference section in your paper that identifies this article in correct APA style.

Discussion: • • •

Form small discussion groups on the day the papers are due. Integrate the groups so there are students who wrote on each article in the group.

Instruct students to briefly share their papers with each other.

At the end of the discussion session, ask students to return to their seats and to individually refute or substantiate the following statement: “Cross-racial dating is accepted and supported on this campus.”

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Evaluation Criteria: Reaction Paper Rubric

Excellent

Satisfactory

Unsatisfactory

Answered all the required questions.

Answered the majority of the required questions.

Answered only some of the questions.

Evidence of reflection and insight.

Evidence of some reflection and/or insight.

Responses are unrelated to questions.

Depth and complexity of ideas Included some supportive No evidence of supported by pertinent details. details. reflection and/or insight.

Ideas are well-organized.

Ideas are organized.

Evidence of synthesis of article Vague tie of article material with concepts from the material to concepts from chapter. the chapter.

No APA style errors.

Only a few APA style errors.

Ideas are not thought out.

No tie of article material to concepts.

Many APA errors.

Class Activities within the Text Activity 11.1: The Love Triangle in Your Life In this exercise, students are asked to apply Sternberg’s triangle theory to a relationship of their own, or to a relationship for which they have in-depth knowledge. Handout 11.1 is a hard copy of the form.

Activity 11.2: Reflections on Your Love Styles Students are asked to reflect on how their love styles have impacted their lives.

Activity 11.3: Building a Love Map This activity requires students to work with a partner or close friend to answer 20 questions adapted from Gottman’s “The Twenty Question Game.” The goal of the game is to enhance understanding about each player. Handout 11.4 is a hard copy of the form.

Activity 11.4: Truth or Fiction in Hollywood? A Film Review For this assignment, students are instructed to choose a recent or classic Hollywood film that centers on a couple in a romantic relationship and to complete five questions about the love styles portrayed by characters in the film. Handout 11.5 is a hard copy of the form.

Handouts Handout 11.1 (Activity 11.1): The Love Triangle in Your Life Handout 11.2: Examining the Color of Love Handout 11.3: Love Attitudes Survey 236 .

Handout 11.4 (Activity 11.3): Building a Love Map Handout 11.5 (Activity 11.4): Truth or Fiction in Hollywood? A Film Review Handout 11.6: Two Minute Check Handout 11.7: Two Minute Check Results Handout 11.8: Two Minute Check Results Checklist NAME:________________________________ DATE:________________________

HANDOUT 11.1: THE LOVE TRIANGLE IN YOUR LIFE Instructions: For this exercise, apply Sternberg’s triangle theory of love to a relationship of your own, or to a relationship that you have in-depth knowledge of (e.g., your parents’ relationship or the relationship of a couple who is very close to you).

1. Briefly describe the relationship you will analyze, identifying whose relationship it is and how long this couple has been together. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ 2. On a scale of 1–5 (1 = lowest, 5 = highest), how much intimacy does this couple seem to have? Give an example or two to support your answer. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ 3. On a scale of 1–5, how much passion does this couple seem to have? Give an example (keeping it G-rated) to support your answer. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ 4. On a scale of 1–5, how committed to each other does this couple seem? Give an example or two to support your answer. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

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____________________________________________________________________ 5. Based on the information you have provided, what type of love does this couple have, according to Sternberg’s model? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ 6. How satisfied is this couple with their relationship? To what extent do you think their love style influences their satisfaction level? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ NAME:____________________________ DATE:__________________________

HANDOUT 11.2: EXAMINING THE COLOR OF LOVE After discussing the components of love, this activity challenges you to stretch your thinking (and perhaps your comfort levels) with a 2-3 page reaction paper assignment that explores the nature and benefits of cross-race relationships.

You may select one the following readings on which to write your reaction paper: Gaines, Jr., S.O. & Leaver, J. (2002). Interracial relationships. In R. Goodwin and D. Cramer (Eds.). Inappropriate relationships: The unconventional, the Disapproved, and the Forbidden (pp. 65-78). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.

Kao, G. & Joyner, K. (2004). Do race and ethnicity matter among friends? Activities among interracial, interethnic, and intra-ethnic adolescent friends. Sociological Quarterly, 45, 557-574.

Miller, S.C., Olson, M.A., & Fazio, R.H. (2004). Perceived reactions to interracial romantic relationships: When race is used as a cue to status. Group Processes and Intergroup Relations, 7, 354-369.

Writing Guidelines: • •

After selecting and reading your article, answer the questions below.

Remember, this is not a summary of the article, but a reaction to the information you have read. Even though you will need to provide brief descriptions for some of the question, your paper primarily should be analytic rather than descriptive.

238 .

o Start with a title page. o After the title page, begin the body of your paper with a brief summary of the article (no more than one paragraph). The summary should include the author’s thesis and the main points that support his or her thesis and argument. o Concisely restate the main thesis made by the author in the article. Briefly explain why you think it is the main idea. o What information does the author provide to support his or her argument? Is the information convincingly supportive? Explain. o Identify and explain any concepts about intimate relationships from the textbook that are pertinent to this article. Clearly state the pertinence in each case. Be sure to identify the concept and the textbook pages where they are discussed. o How has this article impacted your thinking? Did you like or dislike it? Did it have “shock value”? How does it relate to your life? o How will you integrate the exposure of this information into your understanding about human relationships? Be specific. o Include a reference section in your paper that identifies this article in correct APA style.

Discussion: • • •

On the day the paper is due, you will be asked to form a small discussion group.

Integrate your group so that there are students who wrote on each article in your group.

Briefly share your papers with other members of the group.

At the end of the discussion session, you will be asked to return to your seat and to individually refute or substantiate the following statement: “Cross-racial dating is accepted and supported on this campus.”

Evaluation Criteria: The following criteria will be used to evaluate your work.

Excellent

Satisfactory

Unsatisfactory

Answered all the required questions.

Answered the majority of the required questions.

Answered only some of the questions.

Evidence of reflection and insight.

Evidence of some reflection and/or insight.

Responses are unrelated to questions.

Depth and complexity of ideas Included some supportive No evidence of supported by pertinent details. details. reflection and/or insight.

Ideas are well-organized.

Ideas are organized.

Evidence of synthesis of article Vague tie of article

239 .

Ideas are not thought out.

No tie of article material

material with concepts from the material to concepts from chapter. the chapter.

No APA style errors.

Only a few APA style errors.

to concepts.

Many APA errors.

NAME:_____________________________ DATE:_____________________

HANDOUT 11.3: LOVE ATTITUDES SURVEY PART 1 Instructions: As you read the following items, think about your current love relationship or a particular one from your past. Otherwise, answer in terms of what you think your response would most likely be. Then, rate your agreement with each statement on a scale of 1–5, with 1 as strong disagreement and 5 as strong agreement.

My partner and I have the right physical “chemistry” between us.

I feel that my partner and I were meant for each other.

My partner and I really understand each other.

My partner fits my ideal standards of physical beauty or handsomeness.

I believe that what my partner doesn’t know about me won’t hurt him or her.

I have sometimes had to keep my partner from finding out about other lovers.

My partner would get upset if he or she knew some of the things I’ve done with other people.

8. I enjoy playing the “game of love” with my partner and a number of other partners.

9. Our love is the best kind because it grew out of a long friendship.

10. Our friendship merged gradually into love over time.

11. Our love is really a deep friendship, not a mysterious mystical emotion.

12. Our love relationship is the most satisfying because it developed from a good friendship.

13. A main consideration in choosing my partner was how he or she would reflect on my family.

14. An important factor in choosing my partner was whether or not he or she would be a good parent.

15. One consideration in choosing my partner was how he or she would reflect on my career.

16. Before getting very involved with my partner, I tried to figure out how compatible his or her hereditary background would be with mine in case we ever had children.

17. When my partner doesn’t pay attention to me, I feel sick all over.

18. Since I’ve been in love with my partner, I’ve had trouble concentrating on anything else.

19. I cannot relax if I suspect that my partner is with someone else.

20. If my partner ignores me for a while, I sometimes do stupid things to try to get his or her attention back.

21. I would rather suffer myself than let my partner suffer.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

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22. I cannot be happy unless I place my partner’s happiness before my own.

23. I am usually willing to sacrifice my own wishes to let my partner achieve his or hers.

24. I would endure all things for the sake of my partner.

PART 2 INSTRUCTIONS: Score this scale as follows. First, divide the scale into 6 sets of 4: 1–4, 5–8, 9–12, 13–16, 17–20, 21–24. Second, add up your scores for each set. The first set represents your eros score. The second set represents your ludus score. The third set represents your storge score. The fourth set represents your pragma score. The fifth set represents your mania score. The sixth set represents your agape score.

My scores are: Eros _______________________________________________________________ Ludus ______________________________________________________________ Storge ______________________________________________________________ Pragma _____________________________________________________________ Mania ______________________________________________________________ Agape ______________________________________________________________ PART 3: REFLECTIONS 1. What was your highest score? If you scored very highly on two styles, name them both. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ 2.

Does this score seem to accurately reflect the way you feel about the person you were thinking of when you completed the survey? Write a few sentences that explain your answer. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

3.

How satisfied are you with the love style revealed by this survey? Write a few sentences that explain your answer. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

4.

a. In what ways does this love style meet your relationship needs? __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ 241 .

__________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ b. How do you think this love style affects your relationship partner? __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ Source: Adapted from Hendrick, C., Hendrick, S. S., & Dicke, A. (1998). The Love Attitudes Scale: Short Form. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 15, 147–159.

NAME:________________________________ DATE:____________________

HANDOUT 11.4: BUILDING A LOVE MAP Instructions: Following are some questions from “The 20 Questions Game,” created by John Gottman. Try this with your current partner, or a close friend. First, randomly choose about 10 numbers between 1 and 20, and circle those numbers in the list. Then, ask each other the questions attached to each number. The goal of the game is to learn more about each other.

1. Name my two closest friends.

2. What stresses am I facing right now?

3. What was I wearing when we first met?

4. Who is my favorite relative?

5. What kinds of books do I like to read?

6. What was one of my best childhood experiences?

7. What is my favorite meal?

8. What do I fear the most?

9. What is my favorite TV show?

10. What makes me feel the most competent?

11. What do I most like to do with time off?

12. Name one of my major rivals or “enemies.”

13. What am I most sad about?

14. What are two of my aspirations, hopes, or wishes?

15. What is my favorite song?

16. What foods do I hate?

17. Name two of the people I most admire.

18. What personal improvements do I want to make in my life?

19. What is my favorite holiday?

20. Describe in detail what I did today or yesterday.

242 .

REFLECTIONS A. Overall, how much did you know about your partner? How did it make you feel?

How did it make your partner feel? Discuss one thing that surprised you about your knowledge of your partner. ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ B. Overall, how much did your partner know about you? How does that make you feel? How does it make your partner feel? Discuss one thing that surprised you about your partner’s knowledge of you. ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ C. How satisfied are you with your current level of intimacy? What are some specific things you can do to increase or maintain it? ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ NAME:_____________________________ DATE:_______________________

HANDOUT 11.5: TRUTH OR FICTION IN HOLLYWOOD? A FILM REVIEW Instructions: For this assignment, choose a recent or classic Hollywood film that centers around a couple in a romantic relationship. Review these questions before watching the film, then write your responses based on your analysis of the relationship portrayed in the film.

1. Name the film, and name the characters involved in the relationship you will analyze. Briefly describe (in a sentence or two) a bit about each character.

2. What love style(s) seem to best capture the nature of the love you saw between these two characters (you may use passionate and companionate love, Sternberg’s theory, 243 .

and/or Lee’s theory). Did the love style(s) change or evolve as the film went on?

Discuss your observations, and give a specific example or two of scenes from the film that illustrate your points.

3. Assess the relationship in terms of various concepts involved in attraction and mate selection. Choose any three findings from this chapter to apply to the relationship in the film, and discuss how each one applied (or did not apply).

4. Analyze the relationship in terms of Gottman’s seven principles. Choose any three of the principles and discuss how they affected the relationship in the film.

5. Overall, how accurate was the portrayal of this couple’s relationship in the film?

What is one final thought you are left with after completing this assignment?

NAME:____________________________________DATE:_______________________

HANDOUT 11.6: TWO MINUTE CHECK Please take two minutes to answer the following questions about the chapter we are beginning.

•

List two things you already know about love and intimate relationships.

1.

____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

2.

____________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________

•

List two things you would like to learn about love and intimate relationships. Please be specific.

1.

____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

2.

____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

244 .

NAME:____________________________________DATE:_______________________

HANDOUT 11.7: TWO MINUTE CHECK RESULTS Thank you for sharing your ideas in the two minute check we did this week.

• •

Here are some things you already know about love and intimate relationships.

Here are some things you would like to learn about love and intimate relationships.

NAME:____________________________________DATE:_______________________

HANDOUT 11.8: TWO MINUTE CHECK RESULTS CHECKLIST Chapter:___________________________________________________ Topic

Date Covered

□ Love □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □

12/3/16

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□ □ □ □ □ □ □ □

246 .