Quench Magazine Issue 184

IDENTITY issue, no. 184, October 2021

Join Quench

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Join us!

Do you have an interest in art and culture journalism? If so, come join us!

Quench is Cardiff University’s award-winning art and culture magazine, run by students since 2003.

From tackling taboo topics to creating editorial photoshoots, we’re leading the way in student publications and we’re always looking to expand our team!

You can find us on Instagram, @quenchmagcardiff to find out a little more about what we’re about.

If you’re interested in writing for us, you can join our facebook group - Quench Contributor’s 21/22 once you’ve bought a membership on the student union website.

Alternatively, if you’re looking to get involved in our design team then you can drop us a message over instagram or facebook to let us know that you want to get involved! We have a team that includes illustrators, photographers, and page designers and we’d love to have you on board.

If you have any further questions then send us an email at editor@quenchmag.co.uk. Don’t be shy!

Special thank you to...

Editorial shoot: Models: @moemagick @amariejones @ruebenfatoye @yasminejdavies Location: Andy, Neil and Mathew at Andy’s hair hut, Cardiff Indoor Market

Contributors:

Leona Grace Franke Niladri Singh Rajput Alexa Price George Gourlay Beth Mendleton Emma Williams Megan Shinner Muskan Arora Haris Hussain Maddie Balcombe Annell Dyfr

Guest:

Yusuf Ismail

Editor’s Letter

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Isabel Brewster - Editor-in-Chief It’s the beginning of another year at Quench Magazine! I’m Isabel, the new Editor-in-Chief for Quench Magazine for the 2021/2022 academic year.

I started off with a column with Quench last year, and, well here we are! Jasmine, Elly and Josh did such an amazing job last year (I’m very conscious that I have big shoes to fill!) but I’m so excited to see where we take Quench this year. Or, rather, where Quench takes us.

It’s a time to return back to work, school or university and feel content with the idea of the stillness that winter brings, knowing that after the rush of summer, it’s exactly what we need. I wanted to start this year off with a celebration of who we are because no matter what differences we have, we all connect through our shared loves - whether that be the films we watch, the music we listen to, the books we read, or the food we eat.

I’ve spent the summer thinking about what I want Quench to be about this year. We all know and love it as Cardiff University’s art and culture magazine, written by students, for students. It seems to grow bigger every year and I feel super lucky to be here.

Having lived in Cardiff for three years now, it’s become so important to me to be able to integrate the wider Cardiff creative community into our magazine and share the passion we have not just for award-winning journalism, but for art and culture too.

I feel that Quench offers us an opportunity to come together. After a year of social distance measures, and now, consequently, a newfound fear of getting too close to someone you heard coughing in the supermarket aisle, it’s time to embrace moving forwards with a deeper understanding of ourselves.

Over the past year, we’ve all seen how the world has changed. Despite the lifting of nationwide COVID-19 restrictions a few months ago, things are far from normal, and we’re entering a new season where uncertainty hangs in the air. Students have navigated online learning, we’ve been working from home, and our social batteries feel smaller than they did a year ago. One thing that has remained the same, however, is our ability to connect through art and culture.

Communities have come together in a way we’ve not seen before, the connections that we do have feel deeper, and I think it’s more important than ever to celebrate what it is that makes us who we are.

On that note, I’d like to share with you the theme for Issue 184 - Identity.

October has always felt like an unofficial new year; when the leftover heat from summer settles and the colours around us begin to change, we have time to reconnect with who we are and what we want for ourselves.

We’re leaving the culture section behind this yearironic, perhaps, considering that we are an art and culture magazine, but I felt that with the arrival of the literature and spotlight sections last year, it would be better to redistribute our culture content into the most relevant sections. This means we’ll still be covering the same content as years before, it’ll just be easier to find. We’re carrying on with our big focus on design with original artwork and photography featuring in each print issue alongside our written content. It’s going to be a busy year!

Before I sign off, I just want to say thank you to our team who have helped put this issue together - your hard work and enthusiasm are so appreciated. I also want to say a big thank you to my housemateswithout your love and patience, this magazine would not be here. To our readers, we hope that you enjoy the first issue of the year!

Love,

Deputy Editor’s Letter

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Chloe Giles - Deputy Editor Grasping an idea on our identity can be a whirlwind. Especially during times where we are forced to be alone, connect with others who have different mindsets, and are surrounded by a myriad of personalities, possibilities, and pathways. In this issue of Quench, we wanted to elevate all the amazing aspects of unique and individual identity that make us different but ultimately unite us. We aim to share the stories inspired and written by you, our readers.

I genuinely believe that each person has something different and something beautiful to offer the world, and it just takes confidence to be in our own skin to truly flourish and do so.

When I first accepted the position as Deputy Editor at Quench, I was thrilled to practice what I love on such a powerful platform. Growing up in a very undiversified area, it is so important to me that I harness the aspects of my identity that separate me from others. Writing has always been an escapism for me, and over the years I have had so many amazing opportunities to share my writing with others – from performing my poetry at BLM protests, to creating my website, and now, with Quench. That being said, this issue will be the only issue I co-edit this year as I am focusing on keeping a balance between the things I want and things I can handle.

As university students we are so privileged to have continuous options and opportunities presented to us, it can be easy to dip your toes into everything that is offered. However, one key thing that I have learnt about my identity as a writer and as a person is how essential it is to balance needs and wants. However, I am thrilled to have had the chance to co-edit this year’s debut issue of Quench, and really hope that you, as a reader, feel you can connect with the creative ideas and fresh perspectives that are served to you in this issue.

I also want to say a massive thank you to Isabel Brewster, she has been so wonderful, as a friend and as an editor in organising and refining all the details that will make a momentous year of Quench magazine. She is a kind soul, and I hope our readers can feel that energy when reading, as each section editor and article has been handpicked to elevate the beauty of diversity and creative talent within Cardiff.

Our vision for Quench is to encapsulate the beauties of everyday lives in Cardiff. We want to magnify the tiles that build the mosaic that is identity. This means being a safe and inclusive platform to not only embrace what makes us who we are but to elevate this too.

All the best, Chloe

Spotify Playlist : Identity

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Meet the Team

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Meet the Team

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Meet the Team

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Meet the Team

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Contents

In conversation with: Yusuf Ismail, page 18

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Film and Tv:

Contents:

- Finding Ourselves On Screen - page 14 - Our Countries in Cinema - page 16 - In Search of Onscreen Representation - page 18

Music: - “What’s in a name?” : The Fictional Stars of Music - page 20 - Music Collector’s Profile: Haris Hussnain - page 22

Features: - In Conversation With: Yusuf Ismail - page 24

Column:

- Lesbian Epithet: : the Heteronormativity of Identity page 30

Food and Drink:

- Chicken Soup is Kinda Gross - page 34

Contents

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Literature:

Contents:

Home is Where the Heart is - page 48

- Exploring the Immigrant Experience Through Literature page 36 - Feminity in Fiction - page 38

Clebar: - Beth mae Cymreictod yn ei olygu i mi - page 42

Travel: - Home is Where the Heart is - page 48 - Finding What was Never Truly Lost: How Travel can Help Us Rediscover Ourselves - page 50

Fashion: - Student Fashion Profile: Niladri Singh Rajput - page 54 - Student Fashion Profile: Muskan Arora - page 56 - Student Fashion Profile: Haris Hussnain - page 58

Spotlight: - Reclaiming Sluttiness- page 62 - Discussing Polyamory with Polyamorous Cardiff Students - page 66

Featuring photography

by Hannah Layton

Illustration by: @artsyfifi

Photography by: Hannah Layton, @laytonhannah Models: Reuben Fatoye, @reubenfatoye, Amarie Jones, @._amariejones._

Film and Tv

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Finding Being Indian has been stereotyped such that when I came to university, I was asked questions like “did you get a deity statue with you?” or “how much spice have you brought along?” These questions, while initially humorous, led me to think where they were really coming from. My answer?

Misrepresentation of Indians in the media.

The show Never Have I Ever portrayed the importance of relationships to Indians. Yes, our mothers are sick and over feed us, and most daughters are spoiled by their fathers. Devi Vishwakumar is a confused girl, in pain from losing her father whilst also dealing with relatives.

It also touches on the struggles of fitting in amongst kids from other backgrounds. I remember my first day at university when I looked around me and didn’t know how to start a conversation. Dealing with culture shock has been a life changing journey - ultimately home is our cocoon and most Indians will speak of home like it is heaven.

Ourselves

Devi Vishwakumar - Never Have I Ever

In school Devi, just like any teenager, wants to date the hottest guy in school, but ends up dating someone else simultaneously. Her poor decision making skills remind me of my first boyfriend, and even today I make the stupidest decisions which ultimately have repercussions.

What Devi and I have in common is a poor sense of judgement especially when it comes to understanding people and relationships. I’ve destroyed some beautiful relationships because of miscommunication, the only difference is Devi could mend them and I couldn’t.

Words by: Muskan Arora

Film and Tv

On Screen Natalie - Isn’t It Romantic Natalie from Isn’t It Romantic is an aspiring architect living in New York. She hates romantic-comedies due to their unrealistic standards and expectations regarding physical appearances. How you look has an effect on how you are treated professionally, and consequently, Natalie lacks confidence in her ability.

The beauty standard in rom-coms works against her body type. Natalie ultimately doubts her ability to be accepted in society, romantically or professionally, and therefore her life doesn’t quite seem to fall into place like in the movies.

However, one thing this movie taught me - and which Natalie learns along the way - is that even if our life seems “perfect” like in the movies, sometimes things don’t pan out the way we expect it to. There is always an unpredictable variable or something that doesn’t settle into our life as expected. Natalie’s change in attitude towards the end is inspiring.

She decides that society can actually work for her with the correct attitude towards work, life in general, and dedication to self-growth and acceptance.

As well as relating to Natalie’s once pessimistic view of herself, she has taught me that it’s okay to not look like the models on billboards - you are capable of love regardless of what you look like and it’s okay to just be doing you at your own pace. Most importantly, it didn’t take me to get mugged and knocked out in a subway to realise that with perseverance, society will work for me. My standards are the only ones that matter.

Words by: Megan Shinner Design by: Isabel Brewster

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Film and Tv

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Our Countries in Cinema Ye Jawaani Hai Deewani (India)

Ye Jawaani Hai Deewani is the movie that will give you a deeper, closer look at the lives of Indian adolescents. The relationships they forge, the ambitions they have, and the ways they balance family, love, and life.

The movie is shot in a host of locations in both India and abroad: in India, the movie spans from Manali in the hills, to Rajasthan, smack in the centre of a desert. In the first half of the movie, we are introduced to all the characters on their trip to Manali. Years later when everybody meets for a wedding, we already know there are undying flames within the group. Here again, we circle back to the problem of choice. Do you choose the love of your life? But what is the love of your life? Is it the person that is standing in front of you, or is it the flight you have to catch for the dream job you have been working for?

Relationships, family, friendship, marriage - while these are reasonably important institutions and systems in most societies, in India, these are virtues instilled into us from birth. YJHD gives a modern, 21st century take that every Indian kid living around the block can either relate to or look up to. It is a film that spans years of life and friendship that have faced adversities, moved at Godspeed, and didn’t take the normal course. They continued the search for identity and gradually realised that the love from family and friends never really leaves - not in India.

Words by: Niladri Singh À Bout de Souffle (France) I’ve studied French for the last three years, and always found a unique balance between comfort and challenge in French cinema. Perhaps it is in the delight that it takes at being misunderstood, or perhaps it is in the yearning; the expressive, if momentary, romance which seems to settle under your skin without you realising. It winds you in as though you are cotton on a reel, and if you can allow yourself to unravel into the screen then I find that it holds a delight which is pretty hard to find in contemporary cinema. À Bout de Souffle, or Breathless, does exactly what its title suggests, but I wouldn’t say it takes your breath away, rather applies a light pressure that leaves you feeling

confused as to why you are out of breath in the first place. The dialogue between Michel, played by JeanPaul Belmondo, and Patricia, played by Jean Seberg is both playful and demanding, accented by the black and white cinematography which allows for easy watching. Gorgeous!

Words by: Isabel Brewster

Ah Boys To Men (Singapore) The 2012 comedy film Ah Boys To Men is quintessentially Singaporean, and perhaps its popularity can be attributed to this, resulting in three sequels. However, I still find the first movie the most enjoyable out of the lot. The plot is simple - it follows a couple of boys starting their National Service in Singapore, something all boys in the country are well familiar with, having to enlist in the army the moment they turn 18 years old.

This shared experience among them is depicted onscreen through the medium of comedy, paired with a noteworthy host of characters, each representing a certain, identifiable ‘type’ of boy in National Service. It focuses on a specific portion of Singaporean culture, and where relevant does sometimes bring in social topics in the local context.

Much appreciated is that the humour in the movie is still broadly local that even those who were not required to enlist - like myself - can laugh along with.

Watching it as I live far away from home, it reminds me of specific actions, speech, and mannerisms that are truly Singaporean, making me feel like I’m right back in the country. It harnesses the power of the cinema - one of which is to transport us to a place and time. Within the near 2 hour runtime, I am immersed into the local environment and culture once again, while also being highly entertained.

Words by: Pui Kuan Cheah Design by: Isabel Brewster

Film and Tv

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In Search of Onscreen Representation On-screen representation within film and TV has a very distinctive meaning to me.

My housemates in my second year of university loved to put on the TV show Friends as background noise, whenever we had lazy days around the house. In their immediate reactions whenever we discussed which character was who, I was already labelled as Phoebe Buffay. To me, Phoebe is such an endearing character and has the ability to express herself in any way, and that is quite accepting particularly to us as an audience because that is who she is as a person. Throughout the seasons, you gain a sense of familiarity with her.

She has iconic one liners from “Oh no” to lines that make no sense, such as “They don’t know that we know they know we know”. She embraces herself as being weird, and grabs it with all her strength. I see myself in her, as being a one-of-a-kind, happy-golucky person who doesn’t take life too seriously. I also struggled for most of my life, to try and fit myself into a category- as I feel like I am not a typical ‘girly girl’. I like to get stuck in and be clumsy in the meantime, but I enjoy being completely ‘Meg’- which is the same for Phoebe’s character.

You never know what will come out of her mouth, and that is what makes the TV series so addictive and exciting to watch as a viewer.

I feel like Lady Bird resonates with me too, alongside the two main protagonists in Booksmart. They have such eccentric styles, which again, is used to show them as ‘different’. Saoirse Ronan plays the character of the eccentric Christine, a.k.a ‘Lady Bird’, who explores relationships in a very heartfelt way.

The female leads in Booksmart are Beanie Feldstein and Kaitlyn Dever as Molly and Amy respectively, following them as they are about to graduate high school.

The extremely relatable feelings and expectations surrounding what it is like to be a teenager about to experience adulthood, is manifested through funny, yet realistic attempts to party and shows intimate depth during this period of time that is so pivotal to one’s growth. This warm nostalgia through the friendships that are being presented on-screen, to the joys and harsh realities of rejection, and having to figure things out on your own- that is what onscreen representation feels like to me; performances of characters that haven’t got it all figured out, and are still learning and growing through their mistakes.

It is also great for women to take on these big roles as female leads as there have been far fewer opportunities for women and minority groups, such as the BAME community, to play different characters and exert their unique identities into roles onscreen.

The woman has often been the girlfriend or the wife of the lead character, and this devalues the female performance, as they are more likely to fade into the background.

An article from Forbes showed that having diverse roles is super important for your identity and health, as well as your well-being. This includes exposure to different archetypes within film and TV, particularly to characters that exhibit much more normal behaviour, and not all that perfect glamour we are so used to seeing be portrayed. These are the types of women that seem to have the ‘perfect’ job, boyfriend/friends and lifestyle.

Watching TV and film when you grow up has an effect on your outlook on life. I feel it is so important to feel like you are represented onscreen as the main character who has to tackle obstacles but is also fully authentic - I believe that it creates a nurturing experience.

Words by: Megan Evans Design by: Isabel Brewster

Music

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“WHAT’S IN THE NAME?”:

THE FICTIONAL STARS OF THE

MUSIC WORLD

classic in his catalogue. The Canadian tells us of the mysterious Suzanne, who takes us to her ‘place near the river’, conjuring an instant image even in the first line in the song, painting a scene of an idyllic summer’s day spent drinking tea, and eating oranges that have come ‘all the way from China.’ Cohen details that Suzanne ‘lets the river answer’ – conjuring the image of a woman who is at one with nature and has the ability to communicate beyond words.

However, I feel that the most powerful line in the song is in the final verse, as Suzanne ‘shows you where to look among the garbage and the flowers.’ As always in his songs, Cohen shows us through the darkness in the world to find beauty, and Suzanne guides us to do this as well.

Suzanne is an eternal muse, cast in a poetic light and upon listening, we fall in love with her, knowing that we can ‘travel with her’ whilst Cohen constructs her ethereal, comforting presence. In some way, we have all met a Suzanne, and Cohen captures her perfectly.

Jackie and Wilson By Hozier Words by: Niladri Singh Rajput

Romeo is Bleeding by Tom Waits Words by: Paulina Wisniewska Tom Waits’ ‘Romeo is Bleeding’ is a gripping portrait of a 1950s LA gang member - bleeding to death after avenging his brother’s murder, but refusing to ask for help. Its jazz swing orchestration combined with Waits’ raspy boom and a subtle bass groove instantly throws the listener into the seedy midnight back streets of Waits’ imagination, where we meet our sordid hero. Romeo is painted as a classic West Side Story style bad boy, leaning against the hood of his car smoking a cigarette and throwing bottles at passing trucks. Waits displays his masterful storytelling in this track.

His guttural rasp is electric as the voice of Romeo.

Additionally, he cleverly uses the song’s background characters to elevate the hero’s image - for instance, with the comical description of each gang member reaching for their pack of cigarettes when Romeo asks for one.

His conclusion of the story leaves the listener unable to feel anything but sympathy and respect for Romeo, who dies ‘without a whimper; Like every heroes dream; Like an angel with a bullet; And Cagney on the screen’. A powerful saxophone improvisation drives the song towards its end as Waits seems to express concern for his own character, repeating ‘Romeo is bleeding, hey man’. The song spans less than 5 minutes in total and yet the character of Romeo is one that is entirely refined, imaginative, and unforgettable.

Suzanne by Leonard Cohen Words by: Leona Grace Franke Originally published as a poem in 1966 and recorded in 1967, Leonard Cohen’s ‘Suzanne’ has become a beloved

Most of Hozier’s songs make me feel like I want to quit the world and live in a tree-house somewhere deep in the jungle, drink water from the running stream and sleep in the meadows. I would suggest that people listen to any music that has got his name on it. In ‘Jackie and Wilson’ he talks of a girl, a saviour to relinquish him from the pain, the addictions, and distresses of the earth.

The song isn’t about Jackie and Wilson as people or as characters but more so about the two as representations of this ideal life he so desperately desires. A life filled with love and stories,with someone that ‘soothes’ him daily and ‘runs her hands through’ his hair, someone that ‘steals a Lexus’ just to drive around town, someone that ‘saves’ him. It is with this someone he wants to ‘raise’ Jackie and Wilson but the moment he looks up ‘from a cigarette, she’s already left,’ and in this vicious circle of love and desire, he goes round and round waiting for ‘whatever poor soul is coming next’.

Music I think it’s only fair that a person so desperately seeking solace would deem Jackie and Wilson the ideal life. I think it is the ideal for two people in love. I believe love is the ideal - maybe that is the point. Hozier has also always been very vocal about his love for Jackie Wilson, so using his name as a signifier of the desired life could also be suggestive, not just of his love for Jackie Wilson but of him as the ultimate and ideal singer, a rendition of the ‘rhythm and blues’.

Betty by Taylor Swift Words by: Alexa Price ‘Betty’ sees itself as a part of Taylor Swift’s unprecedented return to her country roots in 2020 with her critically acclaimed album ‘folklore’. The song is involved in what Taylor Swift called a ‘teenage love triangle’, which listeners are also able to perceive in the songs ‘August’ and ‘Cardigan’. Through these songs, Swift successfully constructs realistic characters who are in the midst of an unfortunate affair. I think one of the reasons why these songs were so successful is because of how relatable and unfortunately common the described situations are.

21 Through these songs, Swift successfully constructs realistic characters who are in the midst of an unfortunate affair. I think one of the reasons why these songs were so successful is because of how relatable and unfortunately common the described situations are.

The song is one told from the narrative of James, a character who addresses his affair and the guilt that burdens him as a result of it. I would argue that this song says more about James’ character than Betty herself, but I think that by using her name as the title, the song feels more like a direct address as well as an ode to their relationship. Many fans have interpreted the song as an apology, but I’ve never seen it this way. In lyrics such as ‘the worst thing that I ever did was what I did to you’,and ‘slept next to her, but I dreamt of you all summer long’, all that’s being done is reminding listeners of his guilt, before pleading with Betty for forgiveness. The complexity and relatability of these characters are definitely captured in Swift’s vivid storytelling which is why fans, including myself, just keep coming back!

Layla by Derek and the Dominos Words by: George Gourlay From its instantly recognisable opening riff, ‘Layla’ by Derek and the Dominos (written by Eric Clapton) tells a story of forbidden love, as a wistful Clapton sings to Layla in an attempt to win her admiration. However, the truth behind the rock classic, including the identity of its muse, delves into a tale of betrayal, infatuation, and a rivalry between two of the world’s biggest rock legends.

Penned by Clapton, the name of the song is based on the story of Layla and Majnun by Persian poet Nizami Ganjavi which narrates a forbidden love between an Arabian Princess, Layla, and her lover Qays, a poet.

Layla’s fatherdenied their marriage and arranged for his daughter to marry a nobleman, leaving Qays in despair.

Clapton’s Layla, therefore, symbolises a forbidden romance. His retelling though paints a more complicated story as he wrote the song to win the affection of Pattie Boyd, the wife of his friend George Harrison of The Beatles.

From the opening lyric ‘what will you do when things get lonely?”, Clapton makes clear his intention is to woo Boyd away from Harrison. His Layla is one who faces a choice between the circumstance of marriage and the excitement of forbidden love, a deviation from the original tale. Unfortunately for Clapton, Boyd chose her husband following an uncomfortable exchange between the two rock stars and the woman they loved at a party in which Harrison asked his wife who she wanted to go home with. Layla remains a symbol of the pain felt when love is forbidden due to circumstances.

By: Rubie Barker Design by: Rahima Bhatti

Music

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Music

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1. Where does your admiration for music come from?

6. How and why did you decide to immerse yourself in music this way?

Mostly from the historical and cultural meanings behind certain bands. Music reflects society and its problems. I admire it because it speaks the truth.

I like the other aspects of music such as the art of it and its themes. It also sounds great and the lyrics are a bit ambiguous. By immersing myself in this music, I can relate to the wider picture of what the artist is trying to create and the message they are trying to convey.

2. What is it about the art of music that captures your attention?

What captures my attention is the research done when songs are written. A lot of symbolism is present in music. But what really captures my attention is the time taken to create magnificent pieces.

7. What was the first addition to this collection?

3. Who in the industry stands out to you the most?

8. Are there any particular favourites you have?

Marco Hietla stands out the most to me. He has a lot of experience in the industry since he has been part of Nightwish and other projects. He’s also produced his own music that has symbolic meaning to historical and mythological events. What makes him stand out the most, is his love for his fans. He performs because he likes to and not for money like a lot of other musicians do.

4. How would you describe your taste in music?

I would describe it as unique and alternative. I don’t really like chart music because it’s about love and romance most of the time. I like music with a story to it.

This means I like a lot of metal and gothic bands. A lot of the music I like is similar to classical music due to the emphasis and effort put into how the instruments sound and not just the lyrics.

5. Give us an insight into your collection; what is it that you collect?

I collect posters and digital downloads. I have a folder on my computer with everything in. The thing with digital downloads and posters is that they are easier to transport and don’t get small like t-shirts.

It was the Birthday Massacre poster. It was a download from a website called Vampirefreaks which sadly shut down.

My favourite is the Birthday Massacre poster. I love the violet hues and the edgy sort of vibe it gives off. I also like the Epica poster with Simon Simons on it. In terms of the digital downloads, I like the art for all of the Satyricon covers. The fiery black metal vibes are amazing. We should always appreciate the artists who create these posters and graphics as a lot of detail and effort has gone into making them resonate with musical ideas.

9. How will you continue to expand your personal music collection?

I will try and start collecting some key-rings. I also got a sleeveless denim jacket recently so patches and pin badges are things I’m on the look for.

Words by: Rubie Barker Design by: Rahima Bhatti

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Features

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In Conversation With: Yusuf Ismail

Yusuf Ismail is the multifaceted Cardiff-based creative curator behind Cardiff’s ‘My City, My Shirt’ exhibition, succeeded by two murals based in both Butetown and the city centre. Yusuf’s work highlights the intersection of Blackness and football and elevates the beauty found close to home.

I understand that this project originally started as a photography-based exhibition. What inspired you to go on to create murals?

Frustration. MCMS was at limited capacity. I felt that this body of work needed as much visibility as possible, to enable people, particularly people from my community, in places like Butetown (the oldest black community in Wales) to see this body of work.

The reason that we chose May Muna is that we saw her in St. Mary Street, and she was visibly glowing.

Her skin was a shade of dark brown I had never seen before; it was so beautiful. I met a Nigerian guy during the project, and he said “Black is energy. Black people are energy - walking, talking, breathing energy.” It really impacted me and made me think that’s the kind of energy I want this mural to have.

As soon as the photo of her came about, it was so magical…If you’re excited about your work in that way, you know that you’ve got something special on your hands.

The project has been described as using visual arts and football to promote inclusivity in sports.

Is this something that you have always been passionate about? Have your own experiences with sport and race played an important part in your motivations for this project?

100%. Football is a cornerstone of UK culture – but it is artistic to me. So much skill and technique.

From a young age, it is drilled into you that ‘because you’re black you have all of these physical attributes which make you different’, whilst white players are commended for their intellect. You can even hear this in football commentary.

Being black within Britain came with so much baggage and I wanted to address this indirectly. In my work, my views are more considered, which is important to me.

Does Unify have any other projects lined up for the future?

We are doing one currently with Adidas – My Club, My Shirt, they’ve been very kind and supportive. We have just finished shooting with Manchester United which is super surreal. The one I am most excited about is coming up – Arsenal, it’s my club, and they have given us free rein and really let us express ourselves. We have more clubs to shoot after, which should bring us to the end of 2021!

Photography by: @_inco from @redbrck

Features

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In your speech at the MCMS you said you were thankful for the people around you, namely ‘your tribe’ - how have these people contributed to your artistic journey?

I don’t even think they have purely contributed to my artistic journey; they’ve contributed to my selfdevelopment as a human being. If you are genuine about what you do and you involve the people around you, people will naturally give their opinion.

You should have a circle around you where you can share ideas free of judgement. Thankfully, I have healthy people around me where we are critiquing and bouncing ideas off of each other.

Pharrell Williams is one of my biggest inspirations, he says to be transparent in all of your ideas, to share knowledge and resources. People can be paranoid of others stealing their ideas, but an idea and an execution are two different things.

I believe this is all run by a higher power. There’s a saying that God is only helpful to those who help themselves. You’ve got to put in the work.

3-year timeline - Where were you a year ago, where would you describe yourself today? And where do you want to be in a year?

Creating such beautiful and large scale work you must encounter challenges - what hurdles have you faced that could inspire other artists in Cardiff to keep pursuing their goals?

A year ago – I didn’t know where my life would go; one magical thing about the pandemic is that everyone around me has blossomed, and I have been very fortunate. A year from now I want to lock that in, reap the benefits, and be a better version of myself.

“Focus on what’s in front of you, be present. And write it down! When you write down an idea, you are halfway there.”

Can you give Quench 3 words that have been key to your journey (throughout the creation of the murals)?

Third, is failure. I used to be so scared of it – it sounds corny, but failure is the first step to learning.

Persistence, Faith, and Gratitude.

“Black Black energy

talking, energy.”

Interviewed by: Chloe Giles Design by: Isabel Brewster Photography by: @_inco from @redbrck

is

energy.

people

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are

walking,

breathing

Photography by: Hannah Layton, @laytonhannah Models: Reuben Fatoye, @reubenfatoye Amarie Jones, @._amariejones._

Column

30

Lesbian Epithet: the Heteronormativity of Identity

Identity is a weird thing for me. In general, the term refers to the aspects of ourselves that make us who we are, including our name, personality, physical and personal characteristics, as well as the way that the world views us. But since coming out my identity has, more often than not, been shoved into one singular fact about me: my sexuality.

In my first year, I was in Talybont North. I can remember the nerves of arriving at my accommodation, crammed into that flat with six strangers, in a house filled with even more strangers.

I came out pretty early on because, in all honesty, I didn’t want to see the change in behaviour that happens to a friend when they find out my sexuality. So, I was living my best pre-COVID life, going out every night, getting tickets for events with acquaintances who I’ve since ended up never speaking to again, and getting to know everyone I can. It was only a couple of weeks after freshers where I learned of my new given epithet.

My housemates were picking up tickets from a flat upstairs for a bar crawl, and when they’d asked for mine, the boy who was handing them out couldn’t place which ‘Kate’ they were getting the tickets for. After my friend said it was for her flatmate, his response was “Oh, Lesbian Kate?”. My flatmates had come down the stairs and told me laughing, but I didn’t, and still don’t, see the humour in it. Three years on, and what should have been a memory long forgotten, of a boy I didn’t even know handing out tickets, I still remember it clearly and cringe.

Since that point, I’ve paid a lot more attention to how I am described to people, and I’ve realised that some random stranger’s identification of me isn’t a one-off case. Some of my closest friends at university and from home have pointed to my sexuality as being my key identifier. A close friend of my housemates was still using it recently until I found out. In all honesty, they probably still call me Lesbian Kate. And it would maybe be kind of okay if the word lesbian didn’t come with all the negative connotations that straight people associate it with. As a general vocab point, lesbian doesn’t mean ugly. Or weird. Its simple purpose is to define my attraction to women. But even when you take out the casual homophobia implied when people use the word lesbian to describe someone they don’t even know, my friends and acquaintances are still using this term as my identifier to others, and it makes no sense. I’m not walking around with a sign on my head that says lesbian, so how can the people who’ve been told I’m Lesbian Kate know that it is me, Kate (who happens to be a lesbian) when they meet me?

The issue lies in the “normality” of heterosexuality.

Heteronormativity, I should say. There’s a great video that a YouTuber called Alexis G Zall made which perfectly portrays this issue. The events her straight friends discuss around her are designed for straight people and tailored to heteronormative relationships: from boys nights at football games to weddings and board games centred on dating the opposite gender.

Column When Alexis mentions her own life and the events she takes part in, the biggest difference between them is the fact that Alexis’ stories are tailored for LGBTQ+ people. The friends are irritated by her “constantly” talking about being gay, with the irony lies in the fact that their lives are dictated by their heterosexuality. A male character says the line “my girlfriend Olivia says that sometimes gay people attach being gay to their whole identity,” which I think sums straight people’s lack of awareness of this heteronormativity perfectly.

When heterosexuality is the presumed norm, anything that diverts from it seems to stick out, particularly when homophobia is still so ingrained. Assumptions that my sexuality is such a huge part of my identity that it deserves to be my identifier betray the imposed importance of heteronormativity on every aspect of society. Yes, being lesbian has a huge impact on my life, often in ways I wish it didn’t even have to, but being straight also dictates a major part of all of those around me: they just don’t see it because it’s “normal”.

31 I sit in a room full of straight people, nights out in straight clubs, dancing and kissing straight people, and going on straight dates can often take hours to discuss.

Meanwhile, my one night out in a gay club, for which I begged my straight friends to find the time out of their precious straight schedules, was a major chore to one of my flatmates, whose life was a heteronormative dream of childhood sweethearts and best friends that are also childhood sweethearts. The homophobic irony was not lost on me that she didn’t want to hear about my own dating life unless it involved a male friend of hers (whom she tried to set me up with throughout my first year).

I’m Kate, and I am a lesbian, but my identity contains so much more as well, and if those other things happen to relate to my sexuality, it’s simply because I’ve found the spaces where I’m the norm; where people talk about me for me, rather than who I date.

Words by: Kate Waldock Design by: Isabel Brewster Artwork via pixabay by: 愚木混株CDD20

Photographer: Hannah Layton, @laytonhannah Model: Amarie Jones, @_.amariejones._

Photography by: Hannah Layton, @laytonhannah Model: @amariejones

Food and Drink

Chicken Soup Is Kinda Gross

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Food and Drink

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There’s a Chinese proverb that says as humans, food is our ‘everything’.

Judging from the amount of time and energy I spend planning for my next meal and poring over menus, I wholeheartedly agree. Food is and will always be a huge chunk of our identity; but just as how identity is fluid, our relationship with food changes with time.

Growing up, my mum always insisted on making chicken soup for me. The really strong kind of black chicken soup steeped with herbs for hours and cooked over a low fire overnight.

It was truly painstaking to make, and I detested it.

People say that black chicken meat is sweeter and tastes more exotic. Well, if exotic equates to questionable, then they’re absolutely right. The herby taste of the soup was just too much for me to stomach. Unfortunately, under Mum’s domestic dictatorship, ‘no’ has never been an answer, so I plugged my nose and chugged the bitter stuff wordlessly.

Fast forward 18 years - I was thrilled to leave home for university and finally escape the omnipresent chicken soup. I would never miss it, not in a million years.

And I didn’t!

For the first two months, I spent my time shuttling between the ice cream and snack aisles in Tesco and stuffing myself silly with Wotsits. Life was good, that lame ol’ herbal soup could take a hike.

But by the time winter rolled around, I found myself thinking about chicken soup rather obsessively.

What’s happening to me, I thought, I used to hate that soup with a passion.

Maybe it was because temperatures had dropped to single digits so eating ice cream meant hypothermia, or maybe it was because I was homesick, but a steaming bowl of chicken soup with extra herbs sounded like the best thing ever.

It was then that I realised that while the soup really did taste icky, it represented Mum’s love and care for me and that’s what I missed. Drinking gallons of chicken soup since I was three had ingrained a few drops of it into my identity. I didn’t know it back then but a tiny portion of my heart had been taken up by the soup I once hated. Home meant chicken soup and chicken soup meant home; although younger me would have been disgusted by this realisation.

Now, when my mum hands a bowl of soup to me, I pick up my spoon and drink it gratefully. I’m thankful that it’s a part of me and I’ll definitely miss it when I leave home.

But still, chicken soup is kinda gross.

Words by: Emun Yeat Design by: Isabel Brewster

Literature

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Similarly, the prequel to Brontë’s literary masterpiece, A Wide Sargasso Sea, written in 1966 by Jean Rhys tackles similar themes. In the highly acclaimed prequel, we follow Bertha and her unfortunate life before and after her marriage to Rochester. Rhys’ novel gives readers more of a truthful account of how the immigrants would have been treated by the English.

The book proposes that Rochester was also going into his marriage blindly, something which readers can use to empathise with him as a character, but must also remember to question whether that justifies his actions- of course, it doesn’t.

One painstakingly obvious act of racism in Wide Sargasso Sea In Jane Eyre, the character of Bertha is from Spanish is that readers are able to Town in Jamaica, where she is married off blindly to pick up on the control that Edward Rochester solely for her wealth and looks.

Rochester feels that he has Readers of the novel will know that it becomes over Bertha when he anglicises increasingly clear that Rochester’s extreme ill-treatment her Creole name of Antoinette of his wife certainly leads (or contributes) to her mental deterioration. Rochester’s character is definitely a product Cosway without her consent. By obliging to follow her husband back to of British society, especially regarding their views on the country of England, she’s forced to those who came from countries further afield. Bertha is give up her freedom, her culture, and her often described in an animalistic and violent manner, as identity, which is sadly what hundreds and is shown in Chapter 25, where Jane describes Bertha thousands of people are still forced into doing. to Rochester after claiming to have seen a ghost in her room. Problematically, Jane says that “it was a Both books, Jane Eyre and Wide Sargasso discoloured face—it was a savage face. I wish I could Sea deal with a distressing case of immigration forget the roll of the red eyes and the fearful blackened inflation of the lineaments!”, where she expresses her fear in a narrow-minded 19th-century society, where the lack of acceptance leads ultimately to Bertha’s of Bertha based on the colour of her skin by using the terms ‘discoloured’ and ‘savage’. This then suggests that downfall. While immigration isn’t the primary theme in either book, I find that it is often overlooked and put Bertha’s appearance isn’t considered as being natural, further emphasising the fact that she isn’t a part and was second to the love story between Jane and Rochester.

Both books are known as classics in the realm of English never welcomed into British society. ‘Savage’ was also previously a common racist term used to describe those literature, which further highlights that immigration and the who weren’t white as unwelcoming and uninhabitable, as negativity surrounding it is not a modern trope. Despite though they were wild animals. Jane, having grown up in this, today I’ve read many interesting novels which discuss a dominantly white society would have taken to the same immigration, such as Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and The Ungrateful Refugee by Dina Nayeri that views as Rochester, which is why she is comfortable show immigrants in a positive light. More often than not I enough to address it to him. Descriptions of Bertha’s appearance are painfully similar throughout the rest of the find that these novels are inspiring, coming-of-age texts and is very common today in YA and feminist novels. novel, further highlighting Britain’s racist history.

The shift in attitudes in the literary community supports a much more modern and understanding mindset, which is While many readers don’t see Rochester at fault when it comes to his totally failed marriage, I certainly do. At a why modern literary fiction is just as important to read as the classics, in which we are able to recognise outdated time where society where mental health wasn’t treated the way it is today, Bertha was the epitome of what British approaches towards topics like immigration. society rejected and dismissed. Rochester even says Words by: Alexa Price so himself that he was ‘allured’ by how exotic she was, Design by: Rahima Bhatti indicating that there was more curiosity than there ever was love.

Due to the unfortunate events that have been ongoing in Afghanistan over the previous weeks, the topic of immigration has generated a significant amount of coverage and discussion. Over recent years it has become increasingly common to see countries take tougher action against immigration, which then is often followed by a lot of negativity surrounding immigration in the media. While millions over the world, including myself, are coming together to share empathy and to support those who are in need in Afghanistan, the news continues in a stream of horrifying scenes, reminding us to keep those suffering close to heart.

Literature

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Literature

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Feminity in Fiction

Literature

39 The relationship between femininity and fiction has been an ever-evolving concept that differs according to time period and society. The role of women in literature has evolved through ages, yet the one thing that remains static throughout is the biased and stereotypical portrayal of women.

As someone who has been passionate about reading since a young age and takes interest in various genres of literature, seeing women in submissive characters has been a common occurrence for me. As I very often come across the argument that ‘stereotypical portrayal of women has been a thing of the Victorian era and that today’s female characters are as powerful as Wonder Woman’, I think of a number of female tropes that are repetitive in modern literature. I think of ‘the gold digger’, ‘the trophy wife’, ‘the dumb blonde’, ‘the feminazi’, ‘the hyper-masculinized woman’ and an unending list of problematic tropes misrepresenting the female identity. It is not merely the submissive tropes that are harmful but also the ‘masculinized’ versions of female characters do not do justice to female representation.

This creates a notion of male superiority, which is the premise of such characters. Such characters although might or might not adapt to the male gaze, they certainly depend upon male approval. Although these characters may sometimes be looked as the ones who deviate from stereotypical gender roles and pursues her own path but her deviation only goes so far.

Much has been said about overtly problematic tropes that see women as submissive beings like ‘girly girl’ or ‘damsel in distress’, so I first take upon the tropes of women that are praised. The ‘one of the guys’ girl, the ‘cool girl’, the ‘tomboy’ are all problematic in the sense that these characters are praised for having masculine traits and denounce conventionally feminine traits. This does only associate a set of traits to men and women but also prioritises masculine traits over feminine ones.

The strong and powerful trope of women, also called the ‘actiongirl’ or ‘badass’ archetype is supposed to be an antidote for years of portrayal of women as weaker sex. This character is meant to be the opposite of the unmotivated, un-opiniated characters of women who do not have personal goals and aspirations and portray womanhood as victimhood.

On the other hand, the fairly common character in Action Genre, the actiongirl, is capable of beating men twice her size, faces dangerous foes and deadly obstacles and still emerges victorious. Such characters are also commonly seen in young adult novels these days, like ‘Thrown of Glass’ by Sarah J. Mass and ‘Shadowhunters’ novels by Cassandra Clare feature such female characters.

These characters straddle the line between ‘masculine and ‘feminine’ behaviour in such a way that they are never overtly butch in the physical appearance or overtly loud or overtly dominant.

Hence, these characters are only masculine to an extent that is praised by men and does not overpower them, which is what men, supposedly, like.

Literature

When I read books like this, where female characters are strong because they can fight, I feel that I am lacking something. Equating power or empowerment with unrealistic physical capabilities actually tramples over the feminine world to redefine what girl power actually looks like. This gives me the suggestion that in order to be on an equal footing to a man, I must act like one. It is unrealistic, narrows the definition of empowerment to physical abilities and once again, puts down femininity.

Even when women are given a chance to be powerful, smart, intelligent and possess leadership qualities in fiction, it very often shown in contrast to disempowering the abilities of their male counterparts.

Taking the example of film version of Harry Potter, Hermione Granger is an able fighter while her counterpart, Ron Weasly, is a comic relief for the audience.

At many instances in the movie, Hermione’s abilities are made to stand out only after comparing it with the incompetence of Ron. This is based on the assumption that women being powerful on their own would not look realistic and hence, her abilities have to be compared against a man’s incompetence for it to look acceptable and real. This does not only indirectly trivialise female identity but also gives the idea that strong men and women cannot be co-existent.

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In conclusion, I would say that femininity and fiction has had a complex relationship. Disempowering and stereotyping female characters is not a thing of the past. It continuous to this day, however the manner and form of biased female representation has changed overtime. We have slowly and gradually move past the era of overtly sexist representation of femininity to the age of passively sexist female tropes spanning literature. We do not need unrealistically strong or pleasing female characters to adequately represent femininity but need realistic female characters that are determined and ambitious, commit mistakes and also receive failures sometimes, but are headstrong enough to get back up and struggle. We need female characters with real personalities, we need kind, smart, funny, shy and angry women.

Words by: Shivika Singh Design by: Isabel Brewster

Photographer: Hannah Layton, @laytonhannah Model: Amarie, @_.amariejones._

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nes i dyfu i fyny o fewn De Cymru yn Rhondda Cynon Taf, ac felly mae gen i acen y cymoedd mae’r mwyafrif yn meddwl am pan maent yn sgwrsio’r acen Cymraeg. Trwy gydol fy mywyd yr wyf wedi dysgu i gofleidio’r acen yma pan wnaeth nifer ei weld fel symbol o draul, ond mae’n rhan o fy hunaniaeth fel Cymraes.

Hefyd, mae dod o’r cymoedd wedi dysgu i mi’r pwrpas o gymuned, i ddal y bobl yr wyf yn eu caru yn agos. Oherwydd mae pawb yn edrych mas am ei gilydd mewn rhyw ffordd.

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yda dros 3 miliwn o bobl yn byw yng Nghymru, mae Cymreictod yn rhywbeth sy’n sicr o chwarae rôl a dal diffiniad gwahanol ym mywydau pob un. Nid yw’r haniaeth o Gymreictod yn rhywbeth newydd o bell ffordd ac mae’n bwysig ystyried gwahanol ddehongliadau ohono a pha mor gynhwysol yr ydynt mewn gwirionedd. Catrin Lewis, Angharad Roberts ac Annell Dyfri, golygyddion a chyfranwyr Clebar, sy’n trafod beth mae Cymreictod yn ei olygu iddyn nhw a pha rôl mae’r gair wedi ei chwarae o fewn eu hunaniaeth.

Doedd dim llawer o ysgolion Cymraeg yn fy ardal yn tyfu lan, yn enwedig o ran ysgolion cynradd. Felly, mae Cymreictod wedi dysgu i mi fod yn ddiolchgar am y cyfleoedd yr wyf yn gallu cael trwy siarad Cymraeg. Efo Mam o’r De a Dad o’r Gogledd yr wyf hefyd wedi cael y cyfle i fabwysiadu iaith o ddau le gwahanol. Mae’r newidiadau mewn geiriau o fewn yr un iaith yn dangos amlochredd a’r cyfoeth mae Cymraeg yn meddu.

I wybod yr wyf yn gallu bod yn rhan o ddiwylliant traddodiadol ac iaith sydd wedi rhagori blynyddoedd o hanes, mae’n anghredadwy. Nawr, fel myfyrwyr prifysgol, yr wyf mor falch i allu ysgrifennu yn Gymraeg i ddangos bod iaith hen yn addasadwy ac mae’n ffitio i mewn i gyfryngau modern yn berffaith i siaradwyr Cymraeg cael platfform i rannu a thrafod.

Geiriau gan: Angharad Roberts, Rhondda Cynon Taf

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Beth mae Cymreictod yn ei olygu i mi

Clebar

Clebar

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ymreictod. Gair digon syml sydd wedi dal llawer o rym i mi erioed. Cefais fy magu mewn pentref gwledig yng Ngwynedd, y sir gyda’r gyfran uchaf o siaradwyr Cymraeg yn y wlad, ble yr oeddwn yn ymfalchïo mewn defnyddio’r famiaith bob dydd. Mynychais ysgolion cynradd ac uwchradd cyfrwng Cymraeg ac mae’r iaith wedi bod yn nodwedd yr un mor amlwg yn fy mywyd prifysgol. Ers cychwyn fy amser yng Nghaerdydd rwyf wedi astudio fy nghwrs yn rhannol drwy gyfrwng y Gymraeg ac mae’r iaith wedi bod yn rhan yr un mor gryf o fy mywyd cymdeithasol yn y brifddinas. Mae’r Gymraeg yn, ac eisoes wedi bod, yn rhan ganolog o fy hunaniaeth ac nid oes dwywaith y buaswn wedi dilyn llwybr gwbl wahanol os nad fuasai’r haniaeth o Gymreictod wedi bod yn rhan mor amlwg o’n magwraeth.

Wedi dweud hynny, ar ôl cychwyn yn y brifysgol agorais fy llygaid i ba mor gyfunedig oedd fy niffiniad i o Gymreictod mewn gwirionedd.

Roedd y ffordd yr oeddwn i’n diffinio’r gair yn gwbl ddibynnol ar y gymdeithas a’r bobl a oedd yn bresennol yn ystod fy mhlentyndod.

Wrth glywed y gair ‘Cymreictod’ roeddwn yn mynd yn syth at ddarlun o bobl oedd wedi cael eu magu mewn ffordd debyg i mi yn fy nghymuned wledig; Cymry Cymraeg sy’n defnyddio’r iaith pob dydd ac yn amgylchynu eu hunain gydag elfennau traddodiadol o ddiwylliant Cymreig. Heb fod yn ymwybodol o’r peth, roeddwn yn diffinio’r gair mewn ffordd gyfunedig heb ddeall cymaint o haenau oedd ganddi. Fodd bynnag, dros amser, sylweddolais fod y diffiniad yn lawer ehangach a fwy cymhleth nac yr oeddwn i wedi ei ystyried.

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allaf ddweud gyda hyder bod Cymro neu Gymraes yn ansoddair y byddai bron pawb ym mro fy magwraeth yn uniaethu gyda. Beth nad oeddwn yn llwyddo i’w ystyried ar y pryd oedd perthynas y rheiny nad oedd yn ffitio’r stereoteip cyfunedig o Gymry Cymraeg traddodiadol gyda’r gair.

Mewn gwirionedd, mae Cymreictod a’r gallu i siarad Cymraeg yn gwbl annibynnol i’w gilydd. Nid yw Cymreictod mor syml â’r stereoteipiau ‘Cymreig’ sy’n saethu i’r meddwl megis mynychu a chystadlu mewn Eisteddfodau neu gefnogi’r tîm rygbi ym mhencampwriaeth y Chwe Gwlad. Does dim rhaid bod wedi cael eich magu yng Nghymru i fod yn Gymro ac yn yr un modd nid yw Cymreictod rhywun yn ddibynnol ar eu nodweddion llinach. Mae’r gair yn agored i gael ei ddefnyddio gan unrhyw un sy’n teimlo fel ei fod yn eu disgrifio boed wedi eu magu yng Nghaerdydd neu yng Nghambodia.

“Hefyd, mae dod o’r cymoedd wedi dysgu i mi’r pwrpas o gymuned, i ddal y bobl yr wyf yn eu caru yn agos. Oherwydd mae pawb yn edrych mas am ei gilydd mewn rhyw ffordd.”

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Clebar

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nsawdd Cymreig’ neu ‘Nodwedd Gymreig’ yw Cymreictod yn ôl Geiriadur Prifysgol Cymru. Enw gwrywaidd sy’n cyfuno ‘Cymreig’ a ‘dod’. Digon syml felly?

Gair sy’n dyst i ganrifoedd o hanesion am gymdeithas a diwylliant unigryw yma yng Nghymru.

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rth astudio yn un o ardaloedd fwyaf aml diwylliannol y wlad sylweddolais nad oes un diffiniad pendant i Gymreictod ond yn hytrach sawl ffordd y gall yr elfen o fod yn Gymro blethu i mewn i hunaniaeth unigolyn.

I rai, Cymreictod yw’r rhan fwyafrifol o’u hunaniaeth tra i eraill mae’n cymryd y sedd gefn ond nid oes ffordd gywir nac anghywir i’w ddiffinio ac i’w ddathlu. Yn sicr, mae trafodaethau angen eu cynnal ynglŷn â pha mor groesawgar yw’r term ac mae angen talu ystyriaeth i ba mor gynhwysol ydyw. Pwysig yw sicrhau bod pawb yn teimlo’n gyfforddus i gyfeirio at eu hunain fel Cymro heb boeni os ydynt yn ‘ddigon Cymraeg’ neu’n ffitio’r stereoteipiau. Mewn gwirionedd, mae’r gair yn perthyn i bob un ohonom a ni ddylai fod yn air cyfunedig sy’n eithrio unrhyw un sy’n uniaethu a hi.

Geiriau gan: Catrin Lewis, Dyffryn Nantlle

Fel un sy’n hanu o Gaerfyrddin mae’r gair ‘Cymreictod’ wedi bod yn rhan greiddiol o’m magwraeth, a hynny wrth inni gael ein trochi o fewn y syniadaeth bod Cymreictod yn rhywbeth i’w drysori, i’w barchu a’i ddathlu. Bu yno mewn gwasanaethau ysgol, ym mhob seremoni llongyfarch, ym mhob agenda cyngor ysgol a bellach yn rhan greiddiol o’m mhrofiad yn y brifysgol wrth imi fyw a bod yn Gymraeg a dechrau yn fy rôl newydd fel Swyddog y Gymraeg ym Mhrifysgol Caerdydd.

Ymfalchïo yn ein Cymreictod oedd y wers o hyd. Roedd angen dathlu ein bod yn wahanol. Bod rhinweddau penodol yn perthyn i ni. Bod gwerthoedd gwahanol yn perthyn i ni. Ond gellir dadlau bod darlun digon ystrydebol wedi datblygu o Gymreictod ar hyd y blynyddoedd a bod y cysyniad yn cael ei gysylltu â math arbennig o berson a fyddai’n dod o gefndir penodol. Gellir dadlau bod hwnnw’n ddarlun cul a negyddol sy’n eithrio canran gynyddol o boblogaeth Cymru heddiw.

Clebar

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“Bellach, mae Cymreictod yn perthyn i ni gyd, beth bynnag fo’n cefndir. Y mae’n rhan ohonom oll; mae’n ein clymu ynghyd; yn rhywbeth sy’n gyffredin i bawb sy’n byw mewn cymunedau amrywiol ar draws Cymru heddiw.”

B H ellach, mae Cymreictod yn perthyn i ni gyd, beth bynnag fo’n cefndir. Y mae’n rhan ohonom oll; mae’n ein clymu ynghyd; yn rhywbeth sy’n gyffredin i bawb sy’n byw mewn cymunedau amrywiol ar draws Cymru heddiw.

Er mai dau ddiffiniad digon syml oedd gan Geiriadur Prifysgol Cymru i’r term ‘Cymreictod’, rhaid datgan ei fod yn cwmpasu elfennau eang ac amrywiol sy’n golygu pethau gwahanol iawn i wahanol bobl. Gall y rhain gynnwys iaith, cymdeithas, diwylliant a threftadaeth – elfennau allweddol sy’n treiddio trwy wythiennau’r rheini sy’n arddel Cymreictod ac sy’n cydnabod eu bod yn wahanol i weddill y byd. I rai pobl, gall Cymreictod fod yn rhywbeth dros dro megis cefnogi’r tîm cenedlaethol a gweiddi canu’r anthem fel rhan o dorf sylweddol; i eraill gall olygu dathliad parhaus o bopeth sy’n cynrychioli Cymru – yn gymdeithasol, yn ddiwylliannol ac yn ieithyddol.

eb os, mae Cymreictod yn rhywbeth sy’n ein clymu i ddarn bychan o dir sydd wedi cyfrannu cymaint at ddatblygiad y byd yn ei gyfanrwydd ar hyd y canrifoedd.

Mae perthyn i’r wlad honno yn ennyn balchder rhyfeddol ynom – mae’n ein galluogi i ddathlu ein hamrywiaeth gan ddatgan wrth y byd ein bod, er gwaethaf ein maint daearyddol a’n hagosatrwydd at gymdogion mwy pwerus, yn cyfrannu’n adeiladol at les holl genedlaethau’r dyfodol. Mae Cymreictod yn rhywbeth ‘dw i’n ymfalchïo yn fawr ynddo. Mae’n rhan greiddiol ohona i. O’m DNA i. O bwy dw i. Mae wastad wedi bod yno, yn agos i’m calon. Ac yno y bydd e hefyd yn y dyfodol.

Ac er i mi gael y cyfle i deithio i bedwar ban byd, gan weld rhai o ryfeddodau’r blaned, mae’r ysfa i ddychwelyd i Gymru wastad wedi bod yno. Fel bod Cymreictod yn gyfeiriad naturiol ar fy nghwmpawd. Does dim dianc rhagddo. Mae’n deimlad greddfol sy’n rhoi hwb i’r galon lle bynnag wyf yn y byd.

Geiriau gan: Annell Dyfri, Caerfyrddin Dyluniad gan: Isabel Brewster

Photography by: Hannah Layton, @laytonhannah Model: @yasminejdavies

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Travel

Torcross, Devon Words by: Beth Mendleton Torcross is my secret oasis of a coastal village.

The handful of cottages and coffee shops and long pebbly beach separate the crashing waves of the Atlantic Ocean from the serene lapping of the largest freshwater lake in the Southwest. Its unique setting allowed me to feel like a pinprick on a map whenever I visited.

The view of the vast sea and the lack of many human beings made it seem like the most remote place on earth. I grew up there as it changed from a fun holiday spot with bodyboarding and ice-cream cones, to somewhere to sit quietly on the wall with a pint of cider. The sea air always felt easier to breathe – away from the stress of exams or teen drama. The salt in my hair and the wind whistling in my ears became a feeling synchronous with troubles being far away; which is something that has stayed with me through my love of the coast. My family would always joke the symbols on the road sign were simply a duck, a pub and 2 people – as if that was literally all that was there. But the simplicity and solitary nature of Torcross is something which I feel is reflected in me.

The Forest of Dean Words by: Emma Williams Upon reading the notion for this article, I knew I wanted to write about the Forest of Dean. Growing up in Gloucestershire, I cannot count how many times I have visited the Forest, both with family and friends.

Home to twenty million trees and a wealth of biodiversity including Fallow deer, foxes, badgers, rabbits, and wild boar, the Forest is a place of untamed natural brilliance. Even a visit in the winter will leave you feeling relaxed and refreshed. I have two favourite parts: Beechenhurst because of the stunning sculpture trail, and Cannop Ponds because you can go fishing, with fish such as carp, bream, chub, pike, and roach, or hire a mountain bike to really put your feet up whilst continuing to explore.

Plus, in both these areas, once you leave the car park, there is little to no phone reception, allowing

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Indeed, from royal hunting to coal mining, the Forest boasts a rich history and continues to make one, such as featuring in Harry Potter. Within its heritage lies a key reason that the forest is an important part of my identity. My own lineage stems from areas within the forest, such as Cinderford and Coleford.

Sometimes, as I wander through the wilderness, listening to the woodpeckers and tawny owls and breathing in the fresh air, I can almost sense my ancestors walk alongside me; I feel free, whilst also as though I belong there. And that is why home is truly where the heart is.

Portpatrick, Scotland Words by: Rubie Barker I may have only visited once, but Portpatrick on the eastern coast of Scotland has always felt like a special place to me. Two years before getting to finally visit the village that a dear family friend had told us so much about, she tragically passed away but getting to visit a place she loved so much meant a lot to us.

I got to spend a week there in the summer of 2019 with my family, exploring the rocky coastline, filled with waterfalls and ruined castles and visiting the pubs along the harbour side. The beauty of it has stayed with me ever since and I find myself often longing to go back. But it wasn’t until a summer later that it became an even more special place. While going through my great-grampy’s old film photos with my Grandad, we stumbled across a photo of my great-grandparents standing on an all too familiar harbour side. Clearly behind them, stood the very cottage we had stayed in and The Grand Hotel overlooking the water. They were a part of my family who we lost before I could form any of my own memories but I have heard so many heart-warming stories about them. Seeing them stood on the harbour in a village I had enjoyed so much brought me a strange but familiar sense of comfort and marked Portpatrick as one of my favourite places on earth.

Design by: Rahima Bhatti

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“

The more challenging aspects that come with travelling helped me rediscover my mental strength and made me realise that I can take a risk and reap the rewards. Now, I often find myself thinking, if I could do that in Australia, I can do anything.

“

Travel

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Finding What Was Never Truly Lost:

How Travel Can Help Us Rediscover Ourselves

Travel is a beautiful thing. It takes you to new places, introduces you to new people, and helps you make memories which will last a lifetime. Part of what makes travelling so incredible is the uniqueness of each adventure that you embark upon, and I suppose that this is why I always found it hard to believe that there is such a universal stereotype attached to the topic. Often, if you mention that you have been travelling, you’ll be met with witty remarks about your ‘gap yah,’ and people will expect you to return home with five pairs of elephant harem pants and a newfound sense of self. The idea that travelling helps you find yourself always seemed absurd to me, but it wasn’t until I ended up on a spontaneous gap year that I realised just how true this cliché can be.

Throughout my school years, I always had one clear path to the future in my mind, and that involved going to university straight after my A-Levels. I had occasionally entertained the idea of a gap year, but it was often just a passing thought and never something that I seriously considered. However, little did I know that this was about to change. Fast forward to A-Level results day 2019, I did not receive the grades I needed to go straight to university.

At that moment I felt like my life was over – I was so deflated, disappointed and embarrassed! I ended up getting my exams remarked, but I still missed out on the chance to join the 2019 cohort. So, I found myself on a completely unexpected gap year. During this period, I noticed a change in myself. I began to question whether or not university was the right choice for me, I was doubting my independence and my ability to take such a big step, and I was just generally feeling quite down. However, this all changed when I decided to travel.

In January of 2020, one of my best friends and I packed our lives into a backpack and caught a flight to East Coast Australia, where we spent the next three months. It took me a while to settle into our new surroundings, but I soon discovered just how special travelling can be. I quickly came to realise that many of the clichés surrounding travel are rooted in some truth and, as my Australian adventure progressed, I discovered that I was, in fact, finding myself.

Although the stereotype about finding yourself through travel has a lot of truth behind it, there seems to be a misconception about how it occurs. Finding yourself doesn’t happen overnight, and it is not always a process that is immediately noticeable.

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As well as helping me rediscover my inner strength, travelling also brought out a brand-new side to me.

Before my trip, ‘that’s embarrassing’ was one of my most used phrases and I’d often let the fear of judgement from other people stop me from doing things that I wanted to do. However, in Australia, I was surrounded by a community of like-minded people who pleased themselves and lived entirely in the moment. It took three months in Australia to help me realise that if I want to do something, I should just put myself out there and do it! This newfound mindset has since transformed my life and allowed me to do things that I once would have never dreamed of, and it’s all thanks to the inspirational people that I met whilst travelling.

Finding yourself through travel is not always an epiphany, but it is certainly more than just a stereotype. It’s safe to say that I would not be the person I am today if it was not for the things I experienced whilst travelling.

Words by: Maddie Balcombe Design by: Annabelle Ingram and Isabel Brewster

Travel

During my time in Australia, there was never a lightbulb moment where I thought, ‘it’s happened! I’ve officially found myself!’ and I didn’t particularly feel as though I had discovered anything new about myself.

Instead, I began to rediscover personal qualities that I always knew existed but couldn’t always see.

When I didn’t get into university the first time around, my confidence dropped and I began to question whether or not I was capable enough to take the step to move away from home. My trip to Australia confirmed that I am. I suddenly found myself 9,000 miles away from home with no choice but to fend for myself; I navigated my way around some tricky situations, such as flooded roads, cancelled coaches and even a global pandemic. When things got hard in Australia, I couldn’t just catch the next flight home (as much as I wished I could’ve sometimes!)

Instead, I had to face the issues head-on. The more challenging aspects that come with travelling helped me rediscover my mental strength and made me realise that I can take a risk and reap the rewards.

Now, I often find myself thinking, ‘if I could do that in Australia, I can do anything.’

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Fashion

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Student Style Profile:

Niladri Singh Rajput

How would you describe your style or aesthetic?

I can’t say for certain that I have a very strict style or aesthetic. I tend to be very picky with the clothes I chose or the way I style them, but, since comfort is the foremost thing I seek with my sense of style; I always tend to confer to that calling first. My sense of style could be like that of a shapeshifter, if I may. I like trying different things and can slide in and out of styles and outfits with ease.

Where do you think your style originated from?

This article is really making me sit back and think. As an Indian girl who grew up on a whole lot of Bollywood and later meddled with a whole of Disney, I think it’s only fair that I dedicate my style origins to the idols of the 2010s. I, however, always tend to incorporate something Indian into my looks, this could be an earring, a bracelet, an anklet or a bindi. So, a lot of my style and the way I dress is undoubtedly rooted in my Indian origins.

Who/What inspires your sense of style?

If I’m uncomfortable, I’m always worried it shows.

So, comfort is what inspires my looks. Am I comfortable with the weather? Will I be comfortable with the crowd? Do I want him to ask me out again?

It is a combination of all of those things, and then, there’s Zendaya. It’s not just her sense of fashion, it’s the entire human being. She’s tremendously talented, unbelievably grounded, and always aces the assignment. I didn’t know her when she was on the Disney channel, so I can assure you it was her personality and her sense of fashion that brought us together.

Where are your favourite places to shop?

Since I’ve come to the UK, thrift stores and charity shops are the only places I shop from. Sobeys Vintage Clothing and Flamingos in Cardiff both have great collections and are good places to start thrifting.

There are a whole lot of kilo sales (so you can buy a kilogram worth of clothes for around £15), I tend to keep an eye out for them too. I’m always trying to make a solid effort to avoid fast fashion brands. I don’t go out of my way to tell my friends or the people around me to do it, but again, that’s just vegans.

Jokes apart, if each of us did our little bit, we might just have hope.

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What item of clothing makes you feel the most comfortable and confident?

How has your sense of style changed during your time at university?

Honestly, I think it’s those laced bodysuits. Wear them and literally pair them with anything you want, they will make your day or night. Corsets and comfort might look and sound like oxymorons next to each other, but they make me feel like I can own anyone and anything in a room I enter (any Friends fans?). I can assure you that the not-beingcompelled-by-society and free-flowing oxygen while wearing corsets helps this fashion trend I love.

Oh massively! Cardiff is abundant when it comes to representation. There are people from all over the globe and honestly, I think East Asians dress the coolest. The clothes they wear to sleep, I could wear to town, the clothes they wear to town, I could get buried in. I think it has greatly influenced my sense of style, in that, it has urged me towards my calling, towards comfortable, well-styled, appropriate-for-the-function-and-weather kind of looks.

Are there any fashion trends you particularly like?

What is one fashion item you couldn’t live without?

Well, corsets are back, and I don’t mind them. I don’t mind low-rise jeans either, but I know one thing for certain, it was the comeback of low-rise jeans that made me realise how trends form and make us feel obliged to confer to them. The good thing, if any, about 2021 is that people are more open to ideas.

Whilst the comeback of 2000s fashion trends also signals towards a rise in body dysmorphic problems/ issues, I think inclusivity is vogue right now, it’s in fashion and it’s here to stay, as it should be. So, nobody really has to actually confer to trends and I’m loving the sight of that!

I cannot choose between the two but a well-fitted pair of black jeans and/or a well-fitted bodysuit.

Are there any fashion trends you don’t like?

I really am trying to think of something because I’m sure there must be something, I dislike but as of now, each their own. As long as they’re not hurting someone, I think people should be allowed to wear whatever it is and however it is they will. I have a problem with beanies though, but I think it’s an issue with the shape of my head because everyone else looks like they just pulled up from 8 miles.

Talk us through one of your most memorable outfits.

I wore an outfit to a pub a couple of weeks ago. I was wearing shorts that I got like five years ago, the dress was actually an XL Kurta (an Indian traditional attire usually worn by men in North India), and I pulled the look together with a corset - amps up any outfit in 0.3 seconds. A pair of ankle-length boots, a tiny black bag, with ample storage to hold essentials and a red Hilfiger coat that hit below my calves. A very kind woman told me I looked amazing and on the same night, a boy refused to dance with me, it was that kind of a night!

Interviewed by: Maggie Gannon Design by: Isabel Brewster

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Student Style Profile:

Muskan Arora Interviewed by: Maggie Gannon Design by: Isabel Brewster

How would you describe your style or aesthetic?

I would describe my style and aesthetic as a reflection of my mood. Often, I end up picking colours and clothes according to how I want the vibe and the feel of them to be! I have always been drawn towards bright colours, but without a doubt, there are days I enjoy wearing darker and more simplistic clothes. I also absolutely adore Indian handlooms and patterns on any type of garment, and this has been largely influenced by my heritage.

Where do you think your style originated from?

My style is deeply inspired by my mother and sister; as a child, I used to mostly wear clothes that were handed down to me by my sister. This gradually influenced my taste into one that is similar to theirs, to a point now where we often end up picking the same clothes! Nonetheless, my style has grown individually in my university life, where I have explored various types of clothes.

Who/What inspires your sense of style?

I am deeply inspired by the media I consume. I know a lot of us might see this as being quite unoriginal, but honestly, who isn’t drawn to things they see online? My love of colours is definitely inspired by nature, for example, I love yellow - any shade of yellow can make me want to purchase an item. In addition to this, blue shades have spoken to me in different ways. Somehow, I have always associated colours of nature with mystery and beauty, thus I am automatically attracted to them.

Where are your favourite places to shop?

I don’t think there is one place, in particular, that is my favourite place to shop. Rather, whenever I have time, I enjoy window shopping and, depending on the budget, if a piece of clothing really catches my eye, I buy it!

What item of clothing makes you feel the most comfortable and confident?

When I am at home, I certainly feel the most comfortable in baggy shorts and oversized t-shirts.

However, in a formal or even a slightly more casual setting, I feel confident and self-assured wearing shirts and skirts but feel sexy when I wear dresses and blazers.

Are there any fashion trends you particularly like?

I have never really followed any trend, but I have recently gained interest in the multiple ways of styling a simple white shirt. I am also trying to shift towards making more sustainable fashion choices and have dug deeper into styling and reusing clothes for longer periods of time.

Are there any fashion trends you don’t like?

Somehow, the trend of bikinis or underwear showing over pants or even too small tank tops, doesn’t resonate well with me. However, I have seen ladies pull this off beautifully and only wish I had the confidence to carry it too!

How has your sense of style changed during your time at university?

Since starting university, I have shifted towards wearing skirts and skinny jeans. I know these items could be seen as total contrasts, but it honestly just depends on my mood. My overall style has greatly evolved to become more independent and ultimately a reflection of myself.

What is one fashion item you couldn’t live without?

Baggy shorts!!!! I cannot stress enough how much I enjoy my legs feeling the air, being free. I can wear them all the time and anywhere.

Fashion

57 Talk us through one of your most memorable outfits.

Throughout the year there are many Indian festivals and I love the vibe of each. This rakshabandhan, I wore a kurti paired with a traditional dupatta. Both items were in vibrant colours and the way I felt wearing them can’t be compared to anything.

It is one of the things I love about my country- India, that we have such diverse handlooms, materials and patterns that one can never get enough of.

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Student Style Profile:

Haris Hussnain

How would you describe your style or aesthetic?

Where are your favourite places to shop?

I would say my style and the overall look is very nerdy, punky and alternative, and this is the sort of impression I like to give off through my clothing choices. One of my signature pieces that could be seen to give off punk vibes is studded belts. I would say overall though, my style is practical.

Some of my favourite places to shop are luggage stores. As well as bags and suitcases, luggage stores sometimes have great and unique clothes at affordable prices. I also genuinely like browsing Amazon for clothes and other accessories such as wallets and belts. I also shop in Primark and sometimes look around in Blue Banana. I will also only buy something if I’m going to wear it often. I don’t like this whole idea of ‘throw-away culture’ and only wearing something once.

Where do you think your style originated from?

I think it originated from my love for all things that are alternative and unusual. Whilst many people wanted the latest brands, I wanted a shirt with crows on it or with an image of a luminous tiger. It also originated from wanting a new style for university. University is a time to be creative and innovative, so I decided to take up this opportunity and experiment. Style is like a language and helps to communicate to people before they meet or speak to you. If I wore Adidas or Nike branded pieces, some people might assume I like those brands or that I like sports which I don’t.

My style aims to communicate and give people an insight into what I like.

Who/What inspires your sense of style?

My hobbies and interests ultimately inspire my style. Predominately, gaming and other hobbies inspire my look, but I also get some inspiration from manga comics. Something that perhaps makes me look different is the love I have for monochromatic colours. So, most of my outfits tend to consist of black, white or grey pieces.

What item of clothing makes you feel the most comfortable and confident?

Probably my studded belt. It goes with anything and no matter what I wear I can always express my true sense of style with it. This belt makes me feel confident and put together.

Are there any fashion trends you particularly like?

Not really, I don’t follow trends I just go with what inspires me no matter if it is considered old or outdated. However, I do like chain wallets even if they are considered old or tacky. I also really like and admire upcycled clothing. It’s amazing when people repurpose old garments such as turning old jeans into a jacket. I like the creative aspects of fashion that allow people to create different DIY projects.

Fashion

Are there any fashion trends you don’t like?

Plenty, I am not a big fan of the ripped clothing trend, particularly ripped jeans. I also don’t really like athletic clothing such as jogging bottoms, or the idea of men showing their boxer shorts off above their trousers. I prefer to shop sustainably and therefore I don’t really like anything that involves bad quality products or fast production. But if these make others happy then I’m happy.

How has your sense of style changed during your time at university?

Well as pictured on the page, the photo of me in my black and white jumper was taken at the beginning of my first year at Cardiff, I call it my nerd jumper and it’s my favourite one. However, within my first year, I started experimenting with wearing clothing with bolder graphic designs on and I also started expressing my alternative side more. I really began to enjoy this, and my style subsequently evolved as I also grew out my hair. On top of this, I have also begun to experiment with upcycling my clothes, with my first project a sleeveless denim jacket that I am thinking of adding some studs and patches.

What is one fashion item you couldn’t live without?

My studded belt. We are inseparable. I remember getting it and how happy I was with it. I got it near the start of university. I can wear it with jeans or even a suit if I wanted. It’s practical and in my opinion, nobody should leave their house without their belt.

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Talk us through one of your most memorable outfits.

This outfit is one of my most worn ones. It is basically a graphic shirt depicting a Tiger with a big thick hoodie on top. The hoodie has the grim reaper on it and in the pictures, you can see the skulls on the sleeves.

These types of hoodies are designed for bikers so the sleeves and other images glow in the dark. The jeans I am wearing are slim fit. I pick jeans mostly for their colour so anything monochromatic or dark blue.

In terms of shoes, I’m not really that fussy. I wear shoes for practicality so standard canvas ones here.

Also, not visible in the pictures, I have a studded belt and chain wallet on. This is pretty much my everyday outfit, both practical and fashionable.

Interviewed by: Maggie Gannon Design by: Isabel Brewster

Illustration by: @moonlanding.illustrations

Photographer: Hannah Layton, @laytonhannah Model: Reuben Fatoye, @reubenfatoye

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Reclaiming Sluttiness It all starts when we hit puberty. Then suddenly a tighter top is no longer cute – it’s provocative. It distracts the boys because our nipples are showing.

It attracts the attention of that creepy construction worker by your house. Suddenly, your body is no longer yours because it is getting ready to reproduce.

I very vividly remember the first time I went to the New Yorker and put on a skin-tight dress. I was 11 years old. It was the first time I felt scared of the people that might look at me in this very specific way – like I’m a glazed doughnut. That was the first time, of many to come when I felt ashamed of my developing body because it was viewed as sexual.

At a certain point in puberty, we reach a time when our minds are not nearly as ready as our bodies to begin the sexual journey. Unfortunately, for femalepresenting individuals, it means that before we even know anything more about sex – we are perceived as sexual objects. This is when our choices of clothes become judged based on their connections to sex and sex work. We hear “you cannot wear that – you look like a hooker”. We get slut-shamed a long time before we start to have sex. We are conditioned to fit into the canvas of obedient wallflowers – virgins upon marriage.

But you know what doesn’t make any sense to me? That then we are supposed to be those sex goddesses, freaks in the sheets. Do you think that this comes without any practice?? Girl...

Shame is a tool of control. Because afraid and ashamed we are easier to manipulate.

It took me a long time to understand that being a slut is not about what you wear, your fantasies or even the number of sexual partners you have had. It is a mindset of self-belief and trust. It is realising that your sexuality cannot be used against you if you are not ashamed of it.

Thus, I came out as bisexual, became a part of #kinktok. I started to teach about sex on the internet to give everyone a toolbox to fight slut-shaming so that they do not have to go through all the workload on their own as I did. Because I am not interested to surround myself with people who would want to use this information against me.

I am a slutty feminist. But truth be told I still cannot wear dresses as fitted as the one I tried on ten years ago.

Words by: Maja Metera

Spotlight

“It took me a long time to understand that being a slut is not about what you wear, your fantasies or even the number of sexual partners you have had. It is a mindset of selfbelief and trust. It is realising that your sexuality cannot be used against you if you are not ashamed of it.”

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Spotlight

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“We are taught to demonize other women for having a sex life and to suppress our own.”

The male gaze can be defined as representing women as sexual objects for the pleasure of the heterosexual cis male viewer. and I think it is very hard for anyone to say they live separate from the male gaze because we have been brought up to live according to the structure of it. Thus, to find an identity away from it takes time to unravel the never-ending threads, we became tangled in.

I believe this is the first summer I have not dressed for the male gaze and that has taken 21 entire years to shake off. ‘Shake it off’ relating to my earliest known memory of living with internalized misogyny without really knowing why. I held so much hate for the iconic Taylor Swift herself for dating Harry Styles, my first love, and letting myself believe the narrative that all she did was date men to then write catchy lyrics about them. This narrative coming from false media coverage and men who hated her for existing as a sexual being.

We are taught to demonize other women for having a sex life and to suppress our own. On the other hand, you also must remember to dress for men and be kinky but not to the extent that you are a slut!!

It is an incredibly confusing world to grow up in.

Speaking from my own experience I thrived from living in this boy-obsessed world as it was a safer place. I lived in accordance with the male gaze and thrived off heterosexual male attention. I dressed for them, demonized other women for their sex life with them and suppressed my own sexuality or engaged in sexual intercourse when it best suited them.

Could they find my clit? No, of course not. But in my defence, I hypersexualized myself in heteronormative norms to hide the fact I just wanted to get with women. I competed with men and created this boycrazy persona as a mask to hide the reality - all the women in my class were a lot better looking than the men… in my opinion.

‘Coming out’ I guess helped to remove my internalized male gaze and find what I liked, in both my wardrobe and sex life without thinking, would a man like this? If 14 year old me could see me now she probably would call me a slut but that’s the internalized misogyny to blame.

Words by: Hope Docherty Design by: Isabel Brewster

Illustration by: @artsyfifi

Spotlight

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Discussing Polyamory with Polyamorous Cardiff Students

Spotlight

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I asked the main question I think most monogamous people have regarding polyamorous relationships; how do you control your own jealousy? How do you define loyalty?

To be polyamorous is characterized by or involved in the practice of engaging in multiple romantic (and typically sexual) relationships, with the consent of all the people involved. A quick google search can tell you this and it is great to see that consent is highlighted thoroughly. But are poly relationships as ‘typically’ sexual as any other monogamous relationship would be? Monogamy is having a sexual relationship with only one partner at a time.

I spoke to two polyamorous Cardiff students, Ellie (she/ they) and Sam (he/him), who trusted me to share their relationships with - and I am very thankful for their contribution.

Sam had explained “monogamy is not for everyone”, just like polyamory also is not for everyone.

I started by asking: so, when did you start exploring polyamory?

I think like any other intimate relationship you don’t just trip and fall in but often it is unexpected…

Ellie: ‘‘If you’d asked me before my partner told me about their other partner whether I could ever be polyamorous I would have said absolutely not. Yet here I am two years later with three amazing partners, with space for one more.”

Then they added: ‘For me, and in my experience, the human capacity for love is infinite. It’s the logistics of a 24-hour day and a 2-day weekend, not to mention monogamous societal norms, that are the limiting factors of our capacity for deeper connections.’

Highlighting the fact that each polyamorous experience is different and “it is consensual for all parties involved”.

Sam also explained, agreeing with Ellie’s comment about infinite love, that “there is a societal pressure to search for ‘the one’.

I completely agree and believe a person can have multiple soul mates, so should we be limited to one?

Furthermore, I asked: What would you want others to know about polyamory?

Sam: “Polyamory is not polygamy”, polygamy is where a husband/ wife is married to more than one partner at a time, and mostly on occasion treated in stereotyped religious terms.

Sex isn’t everything and polyamory is not just sex, just like most monogamous relationships are not only romantic but also involve enjoying sexual pleasure with their partner.

It’s beyond sex. To Ellie, “Each partner I have is utterly unique and utterly amazing. My partners are kind, loving, beautiful, intelligent and hilarious in different beautiful combinations and I love them all very deeply but differently.”

Sam further illustrated that polyamorous relationships are not just “kinky”, they create “actual connections with one another.”

Can one person always fulfil each of your sexual desires?

“Sex is just another form of communication in my book (albeit a highly enjoyable one) and, for now, I can’t quite get my head around why I should limit that to one person”, Ellie believes.

Spotlight I asked how, as anyone else should, they take care of their sexual health: Ellie: “Of course, sexual health is important but communication and regular testing can be achieved and takes away any concerns of having multiple partners who may or may not also engage in polyamory or having intercourse with others.”

Ellie comments on why they should wait, especially during COVID when they cannot see their other partners who live overseas to engage in pleasure.

I have been in the same situation and can confirm phone sex is not like the real thing for sure…

So, how do you control your own jealousy? How do you define loyalty?

Ellie and I also discussed that some may question her own loyalty when we had spoken about her engaging in other romantic partners whilst a partner was overseas. But as stated before, everything is consensual, nothing is secretive, and it is not like their partner does not know or is not engaging with other partners themselves.

It comes down to what we define loyalty to be, and in Ellie’s definition: “Loyalty comes down to the security of attachment and I don’t quite know how or why but I just do not have the slightest doubt that any of my partners would intentionally hurt me. If they did, we would discuss it and resolve like rational adults, in the same way from my perspective I love and care about them and we have talked about the importance of freedom to meet and connect new people in whatever way.”

68 We all have different expectations of what we think loyalty should be. Especially in the age of social media, some believe liking other people’s pictures on social media questions loyalty whilst others do not. We all have different expectations for romantic partners and some of us have a preconceived opinion about polyamory maybe because we would feel insecure with our partners dating others.

So, are there any feelings of jealousy?

Ellie: “I truly believe that the deepest expression of love is freedom- if you’re restricting your partner/ partners beliefs and forcing them to conform to whatever bounds you gave deemed suitable/ acceptable then that’s not from a place of love Granting them complete freedom to be and act as themselves, is true love. And if in that container of freedom, what feels good to them and to you is to give you their full energy as a monogamous partner then that’s great!”

But also, “if what feels good for them and for you is to see other people/ engage with polyamory then that’s also great and doesn’t in any way reduce or diminish the commitment you’ve both made to the deepest and free-est of loves.”

Ellie explains that it is about your own perception of a romantic relationship: “You still act with complete respect for your partners at all times and in essence, I think I am trying to say is that the idea that love is conditional or can only exist within predefined and agreed boundaries is completely incompatible with the form of polyamory I have crafted with my partners.”

“Granting them complete freedom to be and act as themselves, is true love.”

Spotlight It is not about, “comparison or competition, they are all unique human beings and between them, I am able to have each and every one of my needs met.”

After this Ellie said, “I am not needy I promise - it just nice to share the load sometimes”. That got me thinking, can we expect one partner to fulfil our every need? I, in my relationship, have spoken to my partner about how I would never expect them to fulfil my every need. I have friends and other intimate friendships who compensate for what a partner cannot manage.

Is polyamory different to this?

Also again, just like any other relationship Ellie explains, “Jealousy is something that is there and if you ignore it, it won’t go away so part of a relationship (poly or not) is exploring that and discussing where it has come from to understand how to develop a healthy relationship further.”

Ellie introduced me to the phrase, ‘compersion’ which in poly terms, is the opposite of jealousy. It means feeling happy for your partner in their new experiences.

69 “I think many people might find that weird but it is not that weird when you think about how happy you are for a friend or family member when they experience something new that makes them happy”, they said.

Ellie and I continued this discussion and I compared it to a new job or travelling opportunity. You are happy for them as is - if you love them their happiness is the main priority.

So, in the confinements of happiness, Ellie said, “Why would them seeing someone else be any different?”

I started thinking of it again as that new job example, where my partner does not lose the love, they have for me when finding love elsewhere, that love is different. My partner can still have a love for me if they find love and happiness elsewhere.

Concluding the interview with the fact polyamorous relationships can be just like any other form of an intimate relationship - the main priority being consensual, reciprocated love. Thank you, Ellie, and Sam! *Names have been changed for anonymity.

Interviewed by: Hope Docherty Design by: Isabel Brewster Illustrations by: Sian Hopkins

Photography by: Hannah Layton, @laytonhannah Models: Moses, @moemagick Amarie Jones, @._amariejones._