Justin Utley responds to Brad Wilcox's 'apology'

“So, race and priesthood weren’t the only offensive and problematic parts of your sermon, Brad. Still, overall, no matter how cringe, what you said is supported by #Mormon doctrine, Mormon history, and sermons given by other Mormon prophets/apostles.

I CAN relate, however, to the segment where you said “if you leave you lose everything.” I was raised in the LDS church. Devout. Served on Seminary and Institute councils. I served a mission, went through conversion (exgay) therapy at the behest of my bishop and LDS Family Services. I did everything I could do to stay devout. But it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t sustainable or realistic.

In desperation, I left to forge my own path. And you were absolutely right. I did indeed lose everything: I was shunned by members. I was ridiculed and humiliated by bishops and stake presidents. Blacklisted. I lost my purpose. My support system. My dignity. My identity. My friendships. My relationships. Opportunities. And it almost cost me my life.

But you know what? In losing everything I was told, taught, and promised, I gained so much more. I learned true self-respect. My world view expanded. My empathy and compassion for others grew by leaps and bounds, without ulterior motives. I was free of the shackles of cognitive dissonance and confirmation bias. I came to know a god that I’d never known or couldn’t have ever known before Had I not stepped away, and lost “everything”, I wouldn’t have gained everything. I wouldn’t be alive. I wouldn’t be thriving. I wouldn’t know true happiness. I wouldn’t have had the incredible experiences and gained the powerful perspectives I now have as a result of being an “outsider” in a truly amazing world of possibilities. The horizon is so much bigger and so much more beautiful than I ever imagined before.