QSaltLake Magazine, Issue 322, April 2021

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4 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FROM THE EDITOR

Qsaltlake.com |

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APRIL, 2021

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publisher/editor Michael Aaron

ASSISTANT editor Tony Hobday NATIONAL NEWS editor Craig Ogan designer Christian Allred sales Tony Hobday, 801-997-9763 x1 sales@qsaltlake.com Rivendell Media, 908-232-2021 ext 200 sales@rivendellmedia.com

A glimmer of hope

BY MICHAEL AARON EDITOR & PUBLISHER

A year ago

today (as I write this), I was sending pages to my press when it was announced that bars, restaurants, coffee shops, libraries, and other locations would be closed to the public. QSaltLake Magazine is largely distributed through bars, restaurants, coffee shops, libraries, and other locations.

I sat for several minutes pondering whether we could even print the issue.

After many phone calls and emails, we were able to kludge together enough places to distribute enough copies to make it worth printing.

We then called my larger advertising clients to make sure they were alright with a smaller run. They said yes.

Of course, we thought this would last a month, maybe two. If we’d only known then.

As it drew on, it was obvious we weren’t going to be able to print the QPages directory, as the bottom lines of so many of its advertisers were directly affected by the pandemic. I made the painful decision to skip this year and give all advertisers a free listing for the year.

Fast forward to today. More and more people are getting vaccinated, and the huge spike that started in October has

waned. Utah Pride announced an in-person Pride event (though different than previous years — look in the News section for more details). Businesses are looking forward to a slow rebuild.

With the CDC announcement today that fully vaccinated people can meet face-to-face without the need to wear masks or socially distance, I have great hope for us getting through to the other side of this.

Today, I announce that we will move forward with a printed QPages directory to be distributed at Pride.

We will start the new season of the Big Gay Fun Bus in October, as usually scheduled.

Q Lagoon Day will happen on either the first or second Sunday of August.

All of this is dependent on our continued efforts to get past this pandemic. I’m hoping those in our community will get vaccinated, remain vigilant on mask-wearing and other protective measures, and continue to follow medical professionals’ guidelines. Masks will still need to be worn while in large groups, mandated or not by political interests, more concerned about money than human lives. Physical contact will still need to be done safely.

But I’ll accept this glimmer of hope that we can move forward. Q

Utah Pride, the Q Pages, the Big Gay Fun Bus, and Q Lagoon Day are all happening in 2021, depending on you

contributors Joshua Adamson Pickett, Diane Anderson-Minshall, Chris Azzopardi, Paul Berge, Jeff Berry, Paul Campbell, Laurie Bennett-Cook, Roger Cox, Stephen Dark, Jennifer Dobner, Mikki Enoch, Jack Fertig, Greg Fox, Oriol Gutierrez Jr., Tony Hobday, Ashley Hoyle, Joshua Jones, Christopher Katis, Rock Magen, Sam Mills, Craig Ogan, Mikey Rox, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Gregg Shapiro, Petunia Pap Smear, Steven Petrow, Ed Sikov, JoSelle Vanderhooft, Ben ­Williams, D’Anne ­Witkowski distribution Roger Cox publisher

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6 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

news The top national and world news since last issue you should know

BY CRAIG OGAN

House passes Equality Act The U.S. House of Representatives approved a bill that would add sexual orientation and gender identity to the Civil Rights Act of 1964. The Equality Act passed by a 224203 vote margin. All four Utah representatives voted against the bill. It move on to debate in the U.S. Senate.

Utah Rep. Chris Stewart reintroduced the Fairness for All Act that mainstream religious denominations support as it carves out exceptions for religious views.

President Biden publicly supports the Equality Act. “This is a defining moment in our nation’s political history and soon U.S. senators will decide their legacy on equality for LGBTQ people,” said LGBTQ Victory Institute President Annise Parker in a statement. “History is not kind to those who oppose or filibuster civil rights legislation and excuses won’t pass muster with future generations.”

Legislating the LGBTQ The Human Rights Campaign says 108 bills affecting LGBT people are being considered this year by state legislatures.

The majority — 71 bills — are specific to transgender people, and 37 affect the whole acronym. Of the transgender proposals, most would restrict participation in school sports, and others

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 322 | APRIL, 2021

are aimed at gender-affirming health procedures. Two bills on the list in Utah died in the 2021 Legislative Session. HRC says nine other bills would “harm trans people in various ways.” Twenty-one bills are religious freedom bills that would enable discrimination against LGBT people based on religious belief. Bills closest to becoming law are a sports bill in Mississippi and a religious non-discrimination bill in South Dakota.

The legislation in “Ole Miss” passed the legislature, and the governor signed it. As Nina Simone would say, “Mississippi Goddamn.” South Dakota’s governor signed the religion exception legislation. So South Dakota, Goddamn, too.

ACLU identified 32 bills it considers “pro-LGBT” on state legislature dockets in 2021, including non-discrimination, gender-maker changes, healthcare protections, and decriminalization of sexual activity.

Man bites dog Bethany Christian Services, the largest evangelical Protestant provider of adoption and foster care services in the nation, announced it would serve LGBT parents effective immediately.

The announcement said, “We will now offer services with the love and compassion of Jesus to the many types of families who exist in our world today.”

This is a policy reversal by the Michigan-based organization, which started to evolve to the new policy by allowing individual offices to decide which prospective parents to work with. In Philadelphia, Bethany decided to end discrimination and keep its contract with the city, while Catholic Social Services chose not to and is suing the city because it lost its contract. The U.S. Supreme Court is expected to rule later this year.

Homos say no to Cuomo LeGaL, somehow short for the LGBT Bar Association of New York State, dropped Gov. Andrew Cuomo from its recent virtual gala. The governor has a pro-LGBT record and has been endorsed by most LGBT organizations when running for New York State Attorney General and Governor. He is under fire from accusations by three women, including former staffers, of directing inappropriate sexual comments toward them. As of last week, Cuomo was set to receive the Community Vision Award from the bar association.

The award honored Cuomo’s repeal of a law known as the “walking while trans ban,” as well as the governor’s signing of gender identity protections and a ban on so-called conversion therapy. Cuomo has apologized for his behavior toward the accusers but said he would not resign.

cisgender high school-age female runners who argued they had been deprived of wins, state titles, and athletic opportunities by being forced to compete against two transgender sprinters, per the state’s policy. Previously the U.S. Justice Department and the Education Department’s Office for Civil Rights supported the lawsuit. It was argued transgender girls because they were born male, are naturally stronger, faster, and bigger than those born female.

The Connecticut U.S. Attorney John Durham withdrew from the case, saying, “The government has reconsidered the matter.”

USA Gallops to LGBT ID The Gallup polling organization found the percentage of Americans who identify as LGBT has grown from 4.5 percent in 2017 to 5.6 percent in 2020. Self-identified bisexuality is 54.6 percent of the “universe,” 24.5 percent say gay, and 11.7 and 11.3 percent say lesbian and transgender, respectively. Rejecting the LBGT nomenclature, 3.3 percent say non-heterosexual.

Age plays a big role in the growth of self-identification, with 15.9 percent of Gen Z (aged 18–23) and 9.1 percent of Millennials declaring an LGBT identity. Gen Xers are at 3.8 percent; Baby Boomers are 2 percent; Traditionalists are 1.3 percent. The complete report is at bit.ly/galluplgbt

DOJ drops Conn. suit A lawsuit was filed a year ago by several Connecticut

Colorado Guv almost loses Gay Card Talk about “great engagements.” Colorado Governor Jared Polis proposed to his partner of 17 tears, Marlon Reis. Did he take Reis to the top of one of the Rocky Mountains in the state helicopter or cater something fabulous in Denver’s gay-iconic Cheesman Park? Nope, he chose the moment Reis was getting ready to go to the hospital for COVID treatment. Polis said he had been thinking about

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proposing to Reis “for a while.”

Shortly before the couple left for the hospital, Reis said Polis got down on one knee and presented him with a ring. And while it may not have been a grand romantic scene, Reis said it turned out to be “the absolute perfect time.” Not as over-the-top for some tastes, but sweet.

Charlize Theron: Straightwash “Die Hard” franchise Charlize Theron, star of “The “Monster” and “Bombshell,” pitched a remake of the Bruce Willis action movie franchise “Die Hard” using a woman in the Willis role as “a lesbian on a rampage to save her wife.”

Floating the stereotypical trope in “Vanity Fair,” Theron said, “I mean, it’s a great idea.

And the fact that it would be two women,” she added, “I was like, ‘Yeah, sign me on.’”

There were four sequels to the Willis-movie franchise.

Mexican kiss, legal Police began to arrest two men for kissing on a public beach in Mexico, claiming the men were engaged in sexual activity in front of children.

The crowd on the beach felt it was just two guys kissing and surrounded the police and demanded the actores amorosos release. The crowd chanted, “I’m gay!” and “I’m gay too!” and “No homophobia,” forcing the officers to let the men go.

In a viral video, one witness can be heard arguing with the officers, saying “they were not committing a crime” and “they kissed like any other couple.”

No Gender Reveal Following the defenestration of “Mr. Potato Head” by Hasbro, legislation is work-

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ing through the California Legislature to ban retail stores from having a “girl” or “boys” section. If it becomes law, retailers could be fined $1000 if kids’ sections aren’t gender-neutral. “Let kids be kids,” tweeted bill sponsor State Assemblymember Evan Low, who chairs the California Legislative LGBT Caucus. The bill would affect retailers with 500 or more employees, would prohibit signs that indicate whether a particular product is for boys or girls.

Take a Wilde Ride on Reading Famed British street artist Banksy confirmed he is behind a new mural on the wall of a disused prison in Reading, England. The piece honors Oscar Wilde, who served two years in the prison for the crime of gross indecency (back when

being gay was a crime) scaling down a rope made of paper with a typewriter. A video that Banksy posted on Instagram — “Create Escape” parodies Bob Ross’s hit television show, “The Joy of Painting,” with audio of Ross sounding like the late artist is actually commenting on Banksy’s new art. Q

8 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

Qsaltlake.com |

Utah 2021 Legislative Session wrap-up The 45-day session of the 2021 Utah State Legislature concluded and, in short, bills most affecting Utah’s LGBTQ community were shelved, but likely to be heard in the future.

HB92 — MEDICAL PRACTICE AMENDMENTS House Bill 92 was sponsored by financial advisor Rep. Rex Shipp, R-Cedar City, in the House, and CPA Sen. Curt Bramble in the Senate. Bramble has long been a “traditional marriage” supporter and is considered one of the Hill’s most conservative legislators.

The bill had a long list of medical definitions and added several procedures to the “unprofessional conduct” statute, including “unnecessary puberty inhibitions” or “sex characteristic-altering procedure” for those under 18 years old.

Sex characteristic-altering procedures would include typical gender correction surgeries, facial feminization surgeries, administration of testosterone or estrogen, or “removing any otherwise healthy or non-diseased body part or tissue.”

Exceptions to the restrictions would be surgeries or procedures performed of sexually ambiguous or with certain chromosomal variations.

In the House Health and Human Services Committee hearing on Feb. 19, chair Merrill Nelson said that the committee members received many letters and other correspondence related to the bill.

“We have a lot of interest in this bill,” Nelson said as he brought it before the committee. “We have received many emails from both sides of the issue over the past several weeks. Let me just say that we read the emails and take the matter very seriously, gather facts, and render an informed, unbiased judgment.”

“This is about protecting children,” bill sponsor Schipp said as he introduced three “experts” to speak in it.

Quentin Van Meter, an Atlanta-based doctor and president of a conservative pediatric group, has previously called hormone treatments “medical experimentation based on wishful social theory” and was discredited as an expert by a Texas judge who said he didn’t offer a “fact-driven” opinion on puberty-blocking drugs.

Miriam Grossman is a doctor who often tweets negative statements about transgender therapies, calling it “insanity” in a

“world that caters to adult confusion and selfishness, and children are sacrificed.”

And lastly, Brigham Young University professor Shirley Cox testified that transgender children are going through a phase and that she has studied many patients who are “very unhappy with sex-change operations and chemical arrangements.”

Public testimony was limited to 60 seconds per person, and many in Utah’s LGBTQ community spoke.

After the testimony, Rep. Robert Spendlove, R-Salt Lake, said he had concerns about the “process problems of the bill” and moved to return the bill to the House Rules Committee. The motion passed 10–3, effectively killing it for the session.

HB 302 — PRESERVING SPORTS FOR FEMALE STUDENTS Sponsored by law firm business manager Rep. Kera Birkeland, R-Morgan, in the House and Bramble again in the Senate, House Bill 302 made it much further in the session but also ended up being sent back to committee by the Utah Senate.

Birkeland introduced the bill couching her arguments for the bill as a fight for the underdog — girls in sports — saying that the history of females participating in sports is a short one that is on the brink of being lost to transgender females.

“Females will be left as spectators in their own sports,” she warned.

“Across America, there are stories of individuals who identified as male at birth competing against our female athletes.

These individuals who identified as male at birth are breaking records that no female will be able to reach. They are taking championships, titles, and scholarships from our female athletes,” Birkeland testified.

Birkeland even said that it isn’t fair that girls must compete against transgender girls while experiencing menstrual cramps.

She brought a female Utah track athlete who said it was “awkward” to compete against a transgender girl.

The committee voted to pass the bill to the House floor 8–6 with one abstention.

In the House, the bill was passed 50–23 and was sent to the Senate.

After the House vote, Utah Gov. Spencer Cox, in an emotional press conference, said that the bill was among the most difficult the legislature would consider and said that the process it came to the

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floor was not the “Utah way” of bringing all sides to the issue.

“The main reason that it is complicated and difficult is that both sides of this issue are actually right,” Cox said in response to a question at his monthly news conference. “There’s a lot of passion. There’s a lot of fiery rhetoric and name-calling on both sides of this issue that I think is very unfortunate.”

“It is a threat to women’s sports,” Cox said. “But also, and this is where we need to be very, very careful. If you have not spent time with transgender youth, then I would encourage you to pause on this issue. We have so many people who are in a very, very difficult spot right now.”

“We’ve gotten really good at the LGBQ side of things, but we are struggling on the T side of things,” he said. “I’m meeting with the sponsor to find if there is a Utah way to solve this issue.”

Birkeland eventually met with members of Equality Utah.

“We have now had several meetings with Rep. Birkeland. I do not see her as an enemy, nor even as a member of an opposing team. She is a fierce champion for girls’ sports,” EU executive director Troy Williams said in a statement. “I hope that we will always match her passion as we advocate for LGBTQ kids. My hope is that we can work with Rep. Birkeland in the future to ensure fairness for all of Utah’s incredible student-athletes.”

The bill was brought before the Utah Senate Health and Human Services Committee and received much testimony on both sides, including Salt Lake City Mayor Erin Mendenhall, who said, “the idea that exclusionary legislation like this, which targets a single perceived advantage, will level the playing field for girls statewide is misguided. Transgender youth in my city and statewide daily struggle with depression and self-harm and thought and plans of suicide… it’s because too many in our society have made life excruciating for them.”

After the testimony, Sen. David Buxton, R-Davis and Weber Counties, moved to move on to the next agenda item as a parliamentary procedure to bypass voting on the bill, effectively killing it. After some confusion, as the bill was the last on the agenda, Sen. Jani Iwamoto, D-Salt Lake City, moved to adjourn. The motion passed and the bill was shelved for the session. Q More details on these bills can be found in previous stories on QSaltLake.com

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Utah Sen. Mike Lee slams Amazon for dropping anti-trans book Utah Sen. Mike Lee joined three other senators in a letter demanding Amazon explain why they decided to no longer carry an anti-transgender book. The book, “When Harry Became Sally: Responding to the Transgender Moment,” by conservative Ryan Anderson, started selling on Amazon’s website in 2018 but was removed on Feb. 21. In the description of the book, the author wrote, “This book exposes the contrast between

the media’s sunny depiction of gender fluidity and the often sad reality of living with gender dysphoria.”

Anderson is known for his vocal opposition to same-sex marriage and is currently president of the Ethics and Public Policy Center, an ultra-conservative think tank.

Lee and senators Marco Rubio (R-Fla.), Mike Braun (R-Ind.), and Josh Hawley (R-Mo.) sent the letter to Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos “Over the past 72 hours, Amazon has been unable to provide a sufficient explanation as to how Anderson’s

book, which reached the top of two of Amazon’s best-seller lists before it was even released in 2018, supposedly violated a vague, undefined ‘offensive content’ standard,” the letter read. “‘When Harry Became Sally’ prompted important discussions in the national media and among policymakers in 2018 and remains one of the most rigorously researched and compassionately argued books on this subject. By removing this book from its marketplaces and services, Amazon has unabashedly wielded its outsized market share to silence an important voice merely for the crime of violating woke groupthink.”

“In its decision to remove Mr. Anderson’s book from its platforms, Amazon has openly signaled to conservative Americans that their views are not welcome on its platforms,” the letter continued before listing six demands from the company.

Amazon responded with a letter stating, “As a bookseller, we provide our customers with access to a variety of viewpoints, including books that some customers may find objectionable.”

“That said, we reserve the right not to sell certain content. All retailers make decisions about what selection they choose to offer, as do we,” the letter continued.

“As to your specific question about ‘When Harry Became Sally,’ we have chosen not to sell books that frame LGBTQ+ identity as a mental illness.”

Rubio tweeted a rant against Amazon in response.

“Let me get this right,” Rubio said in a video on Twitter.

“Amazon gets to be the most

woke corporation on the planet and every day is proving their wokeness by banning books, not allowing traditional charities to participate in Amazon Smiles, denying President Trump access to Amazon’s web services, and denying his campaign that, every day we’re getting messages about how woke Amazon is.”

Twitter users were quick to fire back.

H

“Can’t wait for all the #rightwing #boomers to get upset that #capitalism is functioning exactly as they desired LOL,” tweeted user JOrtega.

“Cry more. Amazon isn’t the government and if you don’t like it, Victor gets the spoils.

That’s capitalism,” tweeted user RoseFromTheAshs.

Lee currently has nine books for sale on Amazon’s platform. Q

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Pride ’21 will include a Covid-safe event on Washington Square and a Rainbow March & Rally The Utah Pride Center announced plans for Pride Week 2021, to be held June 1 through 7. As in recent years, the event will be held at Washington Square, home of the Salt Lake City-County Building, but this will not be Pride as usual due to the worldwide pandemic.

“This will be a week-long pride celebration like no other,” Robert Moolman, executive director of the Utah Pride Center, said. “Our team has gotten creative with the realities of the day, and we have worked with city and health officials to plan a Covid-safe yet fun, face-to-face series of events.”

“This celebration will replace the annual Pride Festival and Pride Parade this year,” Moolman said. “This incredible event will probably never happen again in this form and on this scale. It’s going to be unique, fun, educational, and offer an opportunity to come out of our houses, be together again and do so safely.”

With mandated restrictions on face-toface events, such Pride staples as vendors, food trucks, beverages, and stages will not happen this year. What will happen is an opportunity to meet together to learn, play, and be entertained through a series of exhibits and events.

Pride-goers will reserve a time to go onto the grounds so crowd size can be controlled, said Moolman. While there, they will go through what looks like a maze if looked at from above. Called the Pride Story Garden, many exhibits and interactive areas will be placed throughout the grounds. Some will go through the history of the LGBTQ movement, some will tell the stories of people past and present in the community, and some will focus on different parts of the community.

The week starts on June 1 with the flag-raising at the Salt Lake City-County Building and the reading of Pride proclamations from city and state leaders.

“We are asking leaders of cities, counties, and the state of Utah to proclaim the week as Pride Week,” said Moolman.

“We are very hopeful that Gov. [Spencer] Cox will be the first to proclaim Pride officially.”

On June 2, the annual Pride Interfaith Service will be held, welcoming faiths of all kinds to come together and celebrate the community in their own special ways.

The Pride Story Garden will open on June 3 and run through the 7th.

On the night of June 5, the “Pride in the Sky” fireworks show will take place.

Rather than a Pride Parade, the event returns to its roots of a “Rainbow March and Rally,” starting at the Utah State Capitol, running down State Street past the City-County Building, and ending at Liberty Park.

“The huge rainbow flag will be at the beginning, rather than at the end, of the march and will lead marchers along the route,” Moolman said. “Can you imagine how that will look as the flag stretches down State Street on Capitol Hill? What a great photo opportunity.”

“There will be different balloon arches representing the many parts of our community all along the march route.

They will be collected as the march passes them, culminating in a massive balloon flag once it reaches the end,” Moolman continued.

At the garden, one of the key exhibits will be coming from the Stonewall National Museum and Archives in Fort Lauderdale. It chronicles the LGBTQ movement through history.

“A fun part of that exhibit will be the ability to reenact when anti-gay activist Anita Bryant received a pie in the face during a press conference,” Moolman said.

Bryant, a singer and spokesperson for the Florida Orange Growers, called her campaign “Save Our Children” and began crisscrossing the nation to rid schools of LGBTQ teachers. St. Paul, Minn. nurse, and gay activist Thom Higgins interrupted a live press conference by throwing a pie in Bryant’s face. “At least it’s a fruit pie,” Bryant responded.

QSaltLake Magazine will also exhibit 18 magazine covers representing its 18 years of printing.

All funds raised during the event will help fund the year-round programs and services of the Utah Pride Center.

As further details are solidified, watch the QSaltLake website and utahpridecenter.org. Q

‘Lady Maga’ fired from job for social media posts Ryan Woods, the Salt Lake ultra-conservative Trump lover who attends rallies and conventions as drag queen Lady Maga and was recently elected as president of the Utah Log Cabin Republicans, was fired from Delta Airlines for his social media posts around the time of the U.S. Capitol insurrection. In his posts leading up to January 6, Woods posted photos in drag holding guns and signs saying “LGBT for Trump.”

Delta’s social media policy warns that employees represent the Delta brand 24/7, whether or not they associate the company with their postings. Delta decides what it considers to be “offensive speech.” Woods says that the policing of social media is only done when there has been a complaint against an employee.

Woods says in a Facebook Live post that he had an “impeccable career” of eight years at Delta and plans to take the

company to court for discrimination, saying he is standing up against “cancel culture.” He is raising funds through a GoFundMe page, which has brought in over $6,500 to date of his $40,000 goal.

Woods said in the video that he has felt depressed and suicidal since the firing, but a recent talk with his brother reinforced his will to move forward and fight.

As president of Utah Log Cabin Republicans, Woods has come out against the “Leftist LGBTQ++ Movement,” and healthcare decisions by doctors and parents of transgender children. Q

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New SLCo councilman says ‘left’ won’t be happy until everyone is bisexual, ‘light brown’ Newly elected Salt Lake County Council member David Alvord wrote a Facebook saying that the “left” won’t be happy until “we each have light brown skin,” “until we are all bi-sexual and in non-comSalt Lake County Council mitted member David Alvord relationships,” and “there are no males, no females.”

Representing a district on the farthest western edge of the county, including West Valley City, Magna, Daybreak, and Herriman, Alvord replaced Michael Jensen, who chose not to run for re-election.

“They won’t be happy until we have no children, and simply have new humans arrive in labs and immediately put into a school for collectivism and indoctrination,” his post continued. “[T]his equity movement if taken to its logical conclusion will ruin life for everyone.”

Alvord changed the privacy settings so that his post is no longer publicly viewable and “clarified” his position.

“The ‘left’ I named in a previous post isn’t any particular person, or even Democrats.

The left I refer to is Cancel Culture who is being too aggressive and who cancels Parler, Gina Carano, conservative books on Amazon, Girls sports [sic], and today Dr. Suess [sic].”

Asked how he feels after

some people are calling for his resignation, Alvord replied, “Call out cancel culture and they try to cancel you.”

Chris Jensen, board chair of the Utah Pride Center, responded to Alvord’s clarification post, inviting him to meet people at the Center.

“I can’t believe I’m having to respond to an elected official about attacking the LGBTQ+ community (again),” Jensen wrote. “I’m the board chair for the Utah Pride Center. I’d really love for you to come in and talk with us about issues the community deals with daily.

I think you’d learn a lot and see that it’s not ‘us vs. them.’”

“The point of my post was to say that I see no easy end to the culture war,” Alvord told The Salt Lake Tribune.

“It’s very unclear to us on the right to think that the left will ever be satisfied.”

“And I don’t think biological males should compete against biological females in sports,” Alvord texted to The Tribune. “It’s probably actually dangerous. Someone could get killed. Another way of saying it is that I think the left is going too far.”

In previous tweets, Alvord declared “Twitter is not an exclusive club for gay people of color.” He also wrote, “Eventually, if social change never ends, it winds up being regressive. We’ll have to call up down and down up. We won’t be able to distinguish humans from animals. Where is all this social change heading? If the goal is always to change, we’ll run out of changes.” Q

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12 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

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ISSUE 322 |

APRIL, 2021

Big-name donations to help Encircle build 8 new locations With the goal of raising $8 million, Apple, Qualtrics founder and Utah Jazz owners Ryan and Ashley Smith, and lead singer of Imagine Dragons Dan Reynolds and his wife, recording artist Aja Volkman have partnered to give a total of $4 million to Encircle to build eight new safe spaces for LGBTQ youth and their families.

Encircle, whose motto is “no sides, only love,” was created to bring together families and communities to enable LGBTQ+ youth to thrive, currently operates facilities in Provo, Salt Lake City, and St. George, with another being built in Heber.

Encircle launched a new “$8 Million, 8 Houses” capital

campaign to establish eight new Encircle homes in four states: Arizona, Idaho, Nevada, and Utah.

To jumpstart the campaign, Ryan and Ashley Smith will contribute $2 million, Dan Reynolds and Aja Volkman will donate Dan’s childhood home in Las Vegas, valued at $1 million.. Apple will donate $1 million and contribute products that promote digital connection, creativity, and education.

“All LGBTQ+ people should feel safe and supported enough to be open about who they are with their community and themselves,” said Apple CEO Tim Cook.

Around $500,000 from the donations being sought will

launch an Ogden facility, with another $500,000 to help with operations.

Ogden’s building will be a three-story brownstone with green space on either side and a plaza to the rear with a

covered patio. It is being built in an empty, grass-filled lot at 2458 Washington Blvd. in downtown Ogden and is expected to open in October. Q More information is available at ­encircletogether.org

NATALIE CLINE PHOTO: FACEBOOK

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 13

APRIL, 2021 | ISSUE 322 | Qsaltlake.com

UofU to celebrate ‘Queer at the Intersections’ The LGBT Resource Center at the University of Utah announced its annual Pride Week March 29–April 3. This year’s theme is “Queer at the Intersections,” which Center director Clare Lemke says is about celebrating queer and transgender lives “through the intersections of multiple different identities.”

Throughout the week, a Uniquely U Art Competition will take place. Queer people and allies are challenged to express their identities through art of any medium.

Small grants are available to help with the pieces through tinyurl.com/PW21-artgrants. The competition will be online through the week and winners will be announced in a Facebook Live event on the LGBT LGBT Resource Center’s page on April 3 at 6:30 p.m.

On Monday, March 29 at 7 p.m., there will be a virtual Gaymer’s Night with Entertainment Arts and Engineering. Join the Discord server at discord.gg/fJmrHhFHKy. On Tuesday, March 30 from noon to 2 p.m. will be a panel discussion titled “Out at Work.” It will involve a panel of alumni

talking about how they have navigated being LGBTQIA+ in the workplace followed by breakout rooms with facilitators on a variety of LGBTQIA+ employment topics, including: building inclusive environments in the workplace, healing from workplace trauma, a networking workshop, and managing LGBT+ discrimination in the workplace. Registration and information at diversity.utah.edu/event/out-at-work/ A Gender Expansive Clothing Pop-up Shop will be held Wednesday March 31 and Thursday, April 1 from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. at the A. Ray Olpin Union Building.

Also on Wednesday, the week will celebrate Trans Day of Visibility with a “What I wish I had known” Conference from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. via Zoom. Sessions include healthy relationships, the medical aspects of transitioning, gender identity, legal aspects of transitioning, and experiences of hormone therapy. Register at lgbt.utah.edu.

Thursday, April 1 offers a free virtual movie screening of “But I’m A Cheerleader” complete with optional party packs of snacks, resources, and “some little surprises

here and there.” Quantities are limited and will be given away first come, first served while supplies last and can be picked up at the Union desk or they can be mailed to you.

A virtual Queer and Trans Students of Color Mixer will happen on Friday, April 2.

A limited supply of gift cards and lunch offers will be distributed to those who register.

The week ends Friday, April 2 at 7:30 p.m. with the Black Benatar’s Black Magic Cabaret, a virtual “eclectic theater spectacle that fuses elements of local performance, magic, and drag performance to bring audiences on a journey through race and cultural allyship in the U.S. As the Ringleader of the ensemble’s circus, Black Benatar commands the stage and acts as the “straight man” to the comedic interludes of her companion, Wyatt Allai, all while showcasing the talents of local performers telling their stories of being queer, black, or other, in the U.S. right now.” Tickets can be purchased through UtahPresents.org.

Volunteers for day-of events are still needed. Those interested can email Dr. Lemke. Q For more information on Pride Week and the LGBT Resource Center, visit lgbt.utah.edu.

AFRAID TO SELL YOUR HOME and/or BUY A HOME? There are 1.1Mil people in SL County, and only 600 homes and condos for sale (and 10,000 REALTORS trying to sell them). IF you’re a seller you need to make sure you have an exit strategy that will maximize your equity and not leave you homeless. IF you ’re a buyer you’ need a strategy to win! As the first OUT REALTOR in Utah (almost 40 years ago) I can help you write offers that will win. Text or email babs@urbanutah.com

Babs De Lay, Urban Utah Homes and Estates 801.201.8824

14 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | QMMUNITY

Qsaltlake.com |

ISSUE 322 |

Celebrate Genderbands’ 6th anniversary by donating $6

LGBTQ and MENA organizations build new communities

Ian Giles was in his late 20s, divorced, and a single parent when he realized he is transgender. Being able to afford surgery, was not something he thought he could do on his own. So he came up with the idea to sell wristbands to his friends to help with the surgery costs.

“That kind of evolved, and I ended up getting a booth at the Utah Pride Festival,” Giles told KTVX reporter Rosie Nguyen. “On the application form, they asked for a name of the organization. SO I thought, well, they are wristbands, and they’re gender related, so I guess Genderbands.”

“At that Pride festival, meeting all of these people who were so excited and supportive of the idea of a fundraiser for top surgery, I thought, ‘You know what, this is something that can really work.’”

Giles continued his fundrais-

In Islam, Ramadan is an important month-long event that 1.8 billion Muslims respect and share with their families and friends. In 2021, the event is scheduled from April 12 to May 12, with important religious activities and events like the festival Eid al-Fitr on May 12–13.

With many international LGBTQ organizations and events worldwide, Utah LGBTQ-autism activist David Nelson remembers student friends in high school and college from the Middle East and North Africa (MENA) regions.

Nelson was recently asked by a MENA college-student why he didn’t share the title of “Sayyid” publicly that Muhammad PBUH’s descendants usually do.

“Well, I taught myself to learn genealogy at age 13 years, and since college, I knew that I am a Sayyid. But, I made a mistake early on in sharing the title with others.” Nelson

ing efforts past his own surgery and, now six years later, it has grown into a national group that provides grants for surgeries, binders for female-to-male transgender people who have not done surgery to reduce the size of their busts, and a Transgender Pride — possibly the only one in the nation.

Top surgery can be anywhere from $4,500 to $12,000, Giles said. That is just for the surgery costs, not anesthesia, hospital bills, time off of work, and travel.

Due to the lack of festivals and events because of the pandemic, Genderbands is having to get creative for their fundraising. They are hoping that, for their sixth anniversary, people will donate $6 towards their $6,000 goal. Q You can donate at genderbands.org/donate.

The also have merchandise at genderbands. org/store.

APRIL, 2021

said. “A friend convinced me to use my title publicly when appropriate. I am just one of 45 million Sayyids/Syeds worldwide.”

“Now that I see that international Pride communities are bringing LGBTQ/MENA people together in many other nations from Saudi Arabia to the United States, I enjoy their involvement and hope to advise Utah’s LGBTQ organizations who would benefit from involving MENA immigrants in its events and groups,” he said.

Worldwide LGBTQ organizations are treating the international regions as a panoply of shared groups. From international to local Pride events, our groups can build communities together. Q David Nelson is not a Muslim but enjoys working with all Islamic matters as a Sayyid. Utah has 14 mosques, a school, 12 restaurants, and five organizations including the self-described “diverse” Utah Muslim Civic League from Logan to Orem.

Know who WANTS your business and will treat you with the DIGNITY and RESPECT you deserve

APRIL, 2021 |

ISSUE 322 | Qsaltlake.com

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Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 322 | APRIL, 2021

quotes “It is hard to really love our neighbors when we are fighting with them over whose rights are more important. This country can accommodate both civil liberties for LGBT individuals and religious freedom.”

— Rep. Christ Stewart about the Equality Act

“We could support legislation that provides protection for LGBT persons as well as people and institutions of faith. Both are possible and clearly required in a just society.”

— Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in a statement

“As both the Equality Act and the Fairness for All Act are debated in Congress, it is essential that people of good will come together to seek common ground. Utah is a better state today because people from both sides worked together to pass our historic non-discrimination law. We have shown the world that the LGBTQ community can coexist with people of faith.”

— Equality Utah’s Troy Williams

“We oppose it as it stands today. The insidious nature of the extreme changes it will make would irreparably harm America and all of the accomplishments we’ve worked so hard for over the last few decades.”

— Charles Moran, managing director for Log Cabin Republicans

APRIL, 2021 | ISSUE 322 | Qsaltlake.com

guest editorial

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 17

Electing people who aren’t hateful ghouls makes all the difference

BY D’ANNE WITKOWSKI

Hip, hip,

hooray! The U.S. House passed The Equality Act! We’re all equal now!

There’s no more hate, no more homophobia, no more Marjorie Taylor Greene!

OK, that’s a bit of an exaggeration.

But the Equality Act amends the 1964 Civil Rights Act to ban discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity and expands the scope of those protections. It’s a major leap forward for LGBTQ+ rights in the U.S., rights that were chipped away and stomped on by the Trump Administration.

After the Democrats in the House introduced the bill, President Biden said in a statement, “I urge Congress to swiftly pass this historic legislation. Every person should be treated with dignity and respect, and this bill represents a critical step toward ensuring that America lives up to our foundational values of equality and freedom for all.”

In other words: elections matter.

Electing people who aren’t hateful ghouls really makes a difference in the lives of oppressed people.

Speaking of hateful ghouls, only three Republican House members voted yes on the Equality Act. Meanwhile, all of the Democrats voted in favor.

Needless to say, right-wing conservatives are PISSED. Especially since the Equality Act trumps — HA! — 1993’s Religious Freedom Restoration Act, which protects “religious liberty.” Being able to discriminate against LGBTQ+ people without any consequences whatsoever is a bedrock principle of religion, after all.

Under the Equality Act, “Jesus told me to” isn’t a free pass to discriminate.

Let’s be clear: if treating LGBTQ+ people like human beings offends your religious sensibilities, then maybe your religious sensibilities are trash.

Let’s also be clear that the “religion” in question here is Christianity, since rightwing Christians who run the Republican

Party don’t care about other religions.

Case in point, the Family Research Council.

“Every Christian needs to understand and pray for the defeat of this anti-Christian legislation,” they urged.

“Father, our Supreme Court erred in its ruling in Bostock v. Clayton,” FRC prayed, referring to the 2020 Supreme Court case that ruled that Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 protects LGBTQ+ employees against discrimination. “Some call it the Roe v. Wade of sexual anarchy prevailing over religious liberty.”

I have literally never heard it called this. But I also do not spend much time with religious extremists who have been radicalized.

“Lord, men and women who reject your law are seeking to impose their sexual lawlessness upon those who are seeking to obey your laws,” FRC’s prayer continues. “They seek morally lawless legal power to punish those who can never affirm their sinful choices and maintain their fidelity to your word.”

In other words, Lord, don’t make me be nice to a gay. Jesus help me if I have to call a transgender or non-binary person by their preferred pronouns. Heaven forfend I have to make a cake for a lesbian wedding.

“Intervene we pray, not only to prevent this lawless HR 5 bill to pass,” their sad prayer continues, “but to set a marker that elected representatives of the American people will not yet again declare righteous what you declare unrighteous, nor provide sexual activists the tools with which to persecute religious believers.”

Set a marker, huh? Like in dominoes?

And there’s that persecution complex again. Christians are not discriminated against in this country. Case in point: Christmas. Other cases in point: the fact that we have a major religious party that thinks that Christianity gives them the right to tell women what to do with their bodies when it comes to pregnancy, the existence and profitability of mega-

churches, tax-exempt status for churches, Kanye West.

It’s no wonder why the Republican Party spends so much of its time trying to crush voting rights. LGBTQ+ equality is actually quite popular. The majority of this country opposes discrimination against LGBTQ+ people. So what Republicans are left with is prayer, which doesn’t influence elections, and voter suppression, which is their tool to remain in power even as they and their ideas become less popular.

The Equality Act is not law yet, of course. Whether the Equality Act will pass in the U.S. Senate remains to be seen.

Even Republicans considered to have a shred of moral decency, like Mitt Romney, are against it. My advice to Democrats: get rid of the goddamn filibuster that requires you to get the support of Trump-worshipping terrorist-enabling fascists of the Republican Party and pass the Equality Act and the John Lewis Voting Rights Act RIGHT NOW. Or we can blink our eyes and see Mitch McConnell become Senate Majority leader again and cry about how we had a shot to make major change and we fucking blew it and now the U.S. House is filled primarily with people whose campaign slogans were, “I did crime on the Capitol for Trump!” Our choice! Q D’Anne Witkowski is a poet, writer and comedian living in Michigan with her wife and son. She has been writing about LGBTQ politics for over a decade. Follow her on Twitter @MamaDWitkowski.

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18 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

creep of the month

Qsaltlake.com |

ISSUE 322 |

APRIL, 2021

Mississippi Gov. Tate Reeves

BY DANNE WITKOWSKI

Thousands

of people in Jackson, Mississippi, were without water for weeks following winter storms that also wreaked havoc in Texas, revealing huge infrastructure failures. Thankfully, both Texas and Mississippi have responded with the only thing that makes sense: ending mask mandates statewide.

“The governor’s office is getting out of the business of telling people what they can and cannot do,” Mississippi Gov. Tate Reeves said Now you’re probably thinking, “Wait, isn’t COVID-19 still, like, a thing?” To which I answer, yes. It is a thing very much indeed, even in Texas and Mississippi.

So why scrap the mask mandate now?

Because masks are for people who live in fear, just like motorcycle helmets! Oh, wait. Mississippi law requires the wearing of helmets “for all motorcycle drivers and riders,” according to the Mississippi Department of Public Safety website. It even says, “Helmets Save Lives!” Huh. But helmets are totally different than masks. Helmets are for badasses on motorcycles, while masks are just for people who breathe, which just about any lame-o can do.

In a recent interview with Jake Tapper on CNN, Tapper pointed out to Gov. Reeves, a Republican, obviously, that lifting the mask mandate will likely cause people to die.

But Gov. Reeves insisted Mississippi was fine because they had fewer cases now than they did at their peak, a drop caused in part by statewide mask-wearing.

Reeves then claimed, “I actually trust Mississippians to make good decisions.”

But when Tapper asked if people in Mississippi should still wear masks, Reeves said yeah, that was a good idea.

“If you have not received the vaccination and you’re going into a large crowd or if you’re going out to dinner, I strongly encourage Mississippians and people across the country to wear a mask because

I believe that it does, in fact, reduce the ability of individuals to spread the virus.

No question about that,” Reeves said.

OK, let me see if I understand this: Masks work, and because they work, no one needs the government to tell them to wear one anymore, but you should still wear one.

A very strong stand for a state that believes that government has no business in its citizens’ lives (except that whole helmet thing. Safety first!).

So, I am sure it will shock you to know that Mississippi lawmakers have somehow found time to address far more pressing problems like transgender athletes competing in girl’s or women’s sports.

Mississippi is the first state to put restrictions on transgender athletes in this legislative session. The Republican-controlled legislature passed the trans athlete ban, and Reeves signed it because “the governor’s office is getting out of the business of telling people what they can and cannot do.”

“It’s crazy we have to address it,” Reeves Tweeted, claiming that President Biden “forced the issue.” On Jan. 20 President Biden signed an executive order banning discrimination based on gender identity, which includes school sports.

Reeves continued, “The push for kids to adopt transgenderism is just wrong.”

I agree! It is wrong in that it is not a thing that is happening. There is no push to “make” kids transgender. However, there is a push for treating transgender kids with compassion, understanding, and appropriate health care. It’s pretty horrifying that people like Reeves can’t tell the difference.

There is also no evidence that transgender athletes are taking over Mississippi sports teams. According to ABC News, “Republican legislators who pushed the bill gave no evidence of any transgender athletes competing in Mississippi schools or universities.”

Then whatever could be the purpose of such legislation?

Jarvis Dortch, executive director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Mississippi, said, “The purpose of SB2536 is not to protect women athletes,” Dortch said.

“It’s to tell transgender kids that they do not belong, that they’re not welcome.”

It’s another made-up culture wars issue, just like the right-wing conservative claim that men dress up like women so they can sneak into women’s restrooms and locker rooms for nefarious purposes, something lawmakers needed to “protect” women and girls from.

Isn’t it interesting how these lawmakers who claim they want to protect women never seem to be as vocally passionate about, say, the Violence Against Women Act or passing “red flag” firearm legislation that takes guns away from abusers and is known to save women’s lives or passing the Equal Rights Amendment?

And, go figure, but these same lawmakers who say that government shouldn’t tell people what to do are perfectly OK telling people what to do when it comes to things like sexual orientation, gender identity and pregnancy.

But, hey, at least you don’t have to live under the heavy hand of the government trying to protect your health. In fact, you very well might die. Q D’Anne Witkowski is a poet, writer and comedian living in Michigan with her wife and son. She has been writing about LGBTQ politics for over a decade. Follow her on Twitter @MamaDWitkowski.

APRIL, 2021 |

ISSUE 322 | Qsaltlake.com

who’s your daddy

Join the Gayby Boom

BY CHRISTOPHER KATIS

When Kelly

and I first became fathers, LGBTQ+ parents — especially dads — were a rare breed. Even in the San Francisco Bay Area and Los Angeles, major urban centers we lived in, our family stood out. There were no playgroups or activity weekends for kids with two dads or moms.

We weren’t alone. Mike Stommel, the founder of Lucky Break PR in Los Angeles, told me, “My husband and I missed out on the gay family playdates when we adopted our daughter 13 years ago. There just weren’t a lot of gay 30-year-olds with kids at the time. So many of our friends have young kids now.’”

We seem to be experiencing a bit of a baby boom among LGBTQ+ people.

Although I can’t point to any empirical data to prove it, anecdotally, I know three different couples in Salt Lake who have become parents in the past six months.

I was curious, what’s changed in the past 15 years or so.

Dr. Dana McNeil, PsyD, LMFT at the Relationship Place Marriage and Family Therapy in San Diego, told me, “A lot has happened legally and socially since the 2015 Supreme Court ruling. My LGBTQ clients feel emotionally safer, both legally and socially, to make their decisions about parenting without stigma. There is now more of a sense of freedom to base decisions about parenting solely on what resonates for the couples, without the added strains of having to weigh their desires against a veil of contemplating how they will navigate difficulties and additional social burdens.”

I agree with her assessment, but I also think that visibility normalizes gay parenting not just for our straight peers but also within our own community. Tammy Shaklee, the founder of H4M, an LGBTQ matchmaking company, says, “Each year we see more and more representation of families in the LGBTQ community, and

it’s inspiring and comforting for those I talk to. Whether partnered or married couples, or even singles who feel confident in pursuing parenting on their own, barriers are being lifted.”

It would seem that just as being open and out helps to “normalize” LGBTQ+ people to straight family, friends, coworkers, and neighbors, knowing and interacting with gay parents helps do the same for others within our community.

Shaklee added, “In interviewing thousands of LGBTQ singles for nearly nine years, their attitudes have changed.

Years ago, when we talked about whether they liked children, and if they hope to have them in their future, there would be a lot of answers, ‘Maybe, I’m not sure.’

Whereas today, I hear more and more singles say, ‘I definitely want kids.’” She also mentioned how seeing Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper become dads a bit later in life may inspire older singles to realize their own dreams of parenthood.

As I see all these happy new parents, I wondered if there may be a backlash against gay parents from others in the community. I remember being accused of assimilating to straight norms for wanting marriage equality. Surely, being a gay parent is equally as offensive.

“It makes sense that many in the queer community worry about the pitfalls of giving into main-stream heteronormative concepts,” Dr. McNeil said. “However, the decision to become parents is not as much about owning who you are and your truth, as it is about wanting to have an opportunity to participate in a life ritual that adds an additional layer of depth, joining, and love that isn’t contained or comparable to any other experience in life regardless of individual expression.”

So, if you’ve been considering becoming a parent, my advice is to jump in with both feet and join the gayby boom! Q Thanks to Dr. Dana McNeil (danamcneil.com or sdrelationshipplace.com) and Tammy Shaklee (h4m.com or 855-4437463) for sharing their insights.

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Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 322 | APRIL, 2021

guest editorial Transgender, gender expansive and intersex youth: Know that you are valid and loved

BY KIRSTEN CARON

Online at qpages.com and at over 350 locations across the Wasatch Front

We also have wedding offciants

Advertise at 801.997.9763 sales@qsaltlake.com

Dear Utah transgender, gender expansive and intersex youth, You are valid. You are loved. You deserve so much better than what some politicians are trying to inflict upon you right now. They talk about you like you are inanimate objects. They question the validity of your existence.

They are wrong.

It really isn’t fair that you have to worry about whether or not you can access the medications you need or whether you will be able to participate in sports. You have been through more than enough already! Whatever feelings of fear and worry you may be experiencing right now are valid. But please remember their behavior/legislation proposals are a reflection on them-not you.

Now, I know you’re strong. Stronger than many people realize. You are definitely stronger than privileged politicians -- but you don’t have to be strong on your own. You have an army of parents, family members, friends, scientists, doctors, and psychologists here to support you. You are not alone.

There is nothing wrong with you. You know who you are-whether you are 5, 8, or 15. You don’t need to be fixed or changed. Your identity is not a disorder or a problem. You are not a problem.

You are amazing! We are here to help with any gender dysphoria you may be experiencing and to educate those who are less knowledgeable or altogether misinformed. We are here to protect and support you from adults who think they know better, but don’t. We are your allies. We are your army, and we will never stop fighting for you.

We love you!

KIRSTEN CARON, Cottonwood Heights

APRIL, 2021 | ISSUE 322 | Qsaltlake.com

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22 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | LGBTQ AT BYU

Qsaltlake.com |

ISSUE 322 |

APRIL, 2021

How the Y above BYU was lit up in rainbow colors Lugging ultrabright flashlights in six colors, 50 Brigham Young University students hiked the mile-long trail in the dark to the iconic Y above the school to light it up in rainbow colors to support the school’s LGBTQ students and faculty.

The display was visible all across the valley for a full hour before the group clicked them off and walked back down the path in jubilation.

The event was planned by a group of LGBTQ students at the private religious school as part of “Rainbow Day” or “Color the Campus.”

Organizer Bradley Talbot, a gay BYU student, organized the event, said it wasn’t a protest.

“It’s not a symbol of protest; it’s a symbol of unity,” Talbot told the Daily Universe — the school’s newspaper. ”We are here, and we are going to be supporting and loving [LGBT students and faculty] no matter what. And we hope to do that with BYU.” Students at the university were asked to wear rainbow colors on campus throughout the day to show support for the LGBTQ community there.

The nighttime display, however, was a close-held secret that had the valley abuzz.

“The Y was colored up in rainbow today, and it was awesome. I was at the gym, and I wanted to go see what was up,” BYU student Jake Young, who describes himself as an ally, said in a video he posted on his Facebook page.

“I realized as I was coming up the mountain, coming up to the Y, that it was people. So, people brought different colored lights, very bright lights, obviously since you could see them around Provo, and they stood in place for just over an hour and shined the rainbow

on the Y, which I think is incredible.”

“It was so beautiful, and everyone was so happy. I got to the top, and there was a bunch of gay people, and I just talked to them, and it was awesome,” he continued. “I just love the support we had today. I know it wasn’t University-sponsored, but I’m just glad there are people who just love and support. This comes, especially after what happened last year at my university.”

What happened last year at the University was that a section of the school’s Honor Code dealing with “Homosexual Behavior” was removed, leading to the belief the school was now allowing LGBTQ students to date and show affection for one another. A week later, leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints clarified that such behaviors would still be punished.

“The Honor Code is basically a compilation of rules that a student must follow in order to maintain eligibility to attend school. Any violations can get you kicked out. So they took out a clause that said that same-sex anything was, basically, they took it out saying that same-sex people could date,” Young explained in his video. “And so I had a lot of really close friends and people who came out because they finally felt free to do so.

And it was beautiful. So many of my friends said they went on their first date ever. And I’m 22 now, and I couldn’t imagine being in high school and not dating and having those experiences.”

“About a week later, the church came out and basically said that was not okay anymore and put the clause right

back in the honor code, and it did a lot of damage to my LGBTQ friends, and it really hurt them,” Young continued.

“I’m very close to many, and it really affected them mentally.

Some had big bouts of depression; some got very suicidal. It was super sad.”

Young likened the perceived change in policy to Charlie Brown going to kick the football Lucy was holding only to have her pull the football and Charlie Brown falls on his back.

“We basically gave it to them and then took it back and made them fall,” he said.

“So this marks the anniversary of a very, very hard time for many of my LGBT brothers and sisters.”

“I especially loved that it was just people with lights.

There was no vandalism or anything like that. It was people willing to show support for the marginalized.

Twenty-two minutes into the event, the school tweeted a statement saying, “BYU did not authorize the lighting of the Y tonight.” After it was

over, BYU followed up with, “The Y is BYU property and any form of public expression on university property requires prior approval.”

BYU Police received several calls through the night about what callers described as vandalism of the Y. BYU Police Lt. Jeff Long said no police action was taken since “no crime was committed.”

“Flashlights don’t meet the elements of vandalism,” Long said.

Talbot released a statement inviting BYU and church leaders to listen to LGBTQ students and faculty.

“We at Color the Campus invite the BYU Board of Trustees to follow the Apostolic Counsel of President M. Russell Ballard, ‘to listen to and understand what (their) LGBT siblings are feeling and experiencing.’ We invite the Board of Trustees to meet with LGBTQ+ BYU students to hear their stories, so they understand the effects their actions have on some of most marginalized & victimized students at CES schools.” Q PHOTO: JESSY SALAS

APRIL, 2021 |

ISSUE 322 | Qsaltlake.com

I don’t regret graduating from BYU, but I would never do that to myself again.

BY SPENCER MINNICK

‘You agreed

to live by the Honor Code at BYU. If you don’t like it, you should just leave. There are plenty of other options.”

If your heart is open enough to hear what I have to say, please read why I believe this blanket statement is harmful, distasteful, and lacks empathy in every way.

Think about the time in your life when you were just graduating high school and beginning the next steps in your journey. You, like me, probably thought you knew a lot more than you did. Looking back, you’d likely tell those yourself that the next 10 years would be the most defining of your life.

Growing up in the church, we are taught being gay is wrong. I spent every second of my 21 years before going to BYU trying to change this one thing about myself.

Serving an honorable mission didn’t “cure” it; maybe I could find just one girl at BYU that would understand and still want to be with me for eternity. It’s taught in the church that same-gender attraction isn’t a sin but acting on it is.

Imagine how hard it would be at this pivotal time in your life to see everyone else pairing off and being happy, and you know that one slip up could cost you your scholarship or your education, or your place in the church. Just one slip up.

You don’t know the pressure or the pain, or the war inside when everything you’ve ever been taught conflicts with

who you are. You couldn’t possibly understand the fear of trying to navigate these waters — alone. Unless you’ve lived it, you don’t know.

I can tell you that when I went through the temple, I had no idea what commitments or “covenants” I was making. I didn’t yet understand what that meant. I couldn’t grasp the level of maturity and real-life experience I’d need before it was possible to truly and completely devote myself to what I was promising. The same goes for the honor code standards.

At what time in our lives are we supposed to figure this out on our own? When else have we been on our own without parents and bishops and mission presidents watching our every move? Would you prefer that we marry your daughters, knowing full well the demons they will have to face with us? Where is your line in the sand? If you’re telling us to go somewhere else, where do you expect us to go? Should we leave our only friends and family and support system during this impossible time? BYU is a private institution, so credits don’t transfer easily between universities — think about the hours of religious courses that are required but worthless in other places. Should we have to give up all of our hard work, time, energy, money, or future because we committed to doing something we didn’t understand?

We know that the church is unlikely to change. We know that the rules are not likely to change, but if you are telling me that a shred of humanity, understanding, and empathy toward those going through the

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most lonely thing they’ll ever experience is too much to ask for, I’m going to tell you that it might be time for you to checkin with Jesus. Check yourself against the very Christlike love that you preach.

I have a lot of love, patience, and admiration for those in my life who have chosen to be apart of the church. I respect your God-given agency to do so, and I expect that you’ll offer me, and people like me, the same in return. A little empathy to understand that it’s not

as “simple as going somewhere else” would go a long way.

I don’t regret graduating from BYU, but I would never do that to myself again. I would never recommend it to anyone else. I’m ashamed to admit that back then, I would have been too scared to rep the rainbow on campus, but if by the grace of God I had been able to see the rainbow on Y Mountain during my time there, I would have spent a lot less time wishing I was dead instead of gay. Q

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24 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | LGBTQ AT BYU

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LGBTQ at BYU

The Out Foundation

is an alumni group of Brigham Young University and other schools operated by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Their hope is to empower fellow alumni and current students to achieve their potential through mentoring, social events, scholarships, and advocacy.

The group is providing financial grants, connecting students with internship opportunities, and enabling support for projects that benefit the LGBTQ+ community either in Utah or abroad.

As part of this objective, Out asked alumni of BYU-Provo, BYU-Idaho, and BYU-Hawaii about their university experience, what they are doing today, and what advice they would give current LGBTQ students at the Church-owned schools.

Here are four of the stories:

Alex Orton BA COMMUNICATIONS (’12)

DESCRIBE YOUR BYU EXPERIENCE: I always knew I wanted to be a Cougar.

My parents met at BYU, and I remember going to basketball games in the Marriott Center with my dad. He and my mom would often tell me stories of their time in Provo, and I wanted to have a similar experience. When it came time to apply to college, I didn’t really consider any other options. In hindsight, maybe part of it was wanting to make my parents proud of me.

Whatever the reason, in the summer of 2007, I packed my 1997 Nissan Altima and PHOTO: BLEECKER STREET

headed off to Rexburg for my freshman year at BYU-Idaho. After completing my first year in Rexburg, I applied to BYU and was accepted as a transfer student.

When I arrived in Provo, I viewed it as a clean slate. While I had excelled academically in Idaho, I was now a 19-yearold male who had decided not to serve a mission. Nearly every time I would introduce myself, the first thing people would say to me was, “So, when are you putting your papers in?” and I’d have to make up yet another excuse for why I was still around campus. The truth is, I really didn’t want to serve a mission. I had no desire. But I had to play the part.

Shortly after transferring to BYU, I met some great friends at my off-campus job. We would hang out outside of work.

I ended up getting very close to one of them in particular. Let’s call her Jane.

After about six months, I decided that if a relationship were going to work with anyone, it would probably be with her.

We started dating, and eventually, she asked me a very terrifying question: “Are you gay?”

Now, growing up, I knew something was different about me. I knew that all my best friends had been female, and I knew that I fit some of the stereotypes associated with gay men. I mean, I could practically recite the entire movie “Legally Blonde” from memory. Not to mention my extensive collection of musical soundtracks. But I had never admitted to

myself that I might actually be gay.

I immediately denied it and threw myself deeper into the closet. After all, being gay is a choice, right? That’s what I was raised to believe.

Fast-forward another 12 months, and we were saying “I do” in a backyard wedding in Washington State.

DESCRIBE YOUR POST-BYU EXPERIENCES: Probably unsurprising, but after a little more than three years of marriage, Jane and I were filing for divorce for “irreconcilable differences.”

The night that I finally come out to Jane in our D.C. studio apartment, I felt like my entire world was crashing down.

For the previous two years, I’d been experiencing extreme depression and anxiety, and I’d reached a breaking point.

I’ll never forget her response to me: “It’s okay. I love you just the way you are.”

We ended up divorcing a few short months later, and she eventually moved to New York City. I could finally be who I was and present myself as an out gay man.

While Jane and I were able to move forward (somewhat) amicably, it was a different story for my family. It took two years of counseling and therapy to repair the relationship with my parents. And now I can say we finally have a positive relationship.

After nearly seven years of working in communications for nonprofits, foundations, and government clients, I’ve now moved out of D.C. I’m currently working as a public high school teacher and living in West Virginia with my partner of several years.

I don’t regret my decision to attend BYU. I learned many important life lessons, and more importantly, I learned who I am as a person.

ADVICE FOR CURRENT LGBTQ+ BYU STUDENTS: Follow your heart, and don’t be ashamed to be who you are. Your family will ultimately come around.

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Terrell Wyche

attended the meeting what had happened.

It was obvious before and after the meeting that the church was not in support of marriage equality. Keep in mind that as a black, very tall student at BYU, I had dealt with microaggressions (purposeful or not) from several students. No, I didn’t play any sports (besides intramurals), and yes, I was there for academics. This, combined with the church’s opinion on Prop 8, started making things a little harder for me. I remember feeling like I was alone and that no one would understand where I was coming from. I also had a testimony of the church, and so I continued to have this cognitive dissonance. I was in several leadership callings, including Elder’s Quorum President, and I just continued to feel the weight of my sexuality coming

down on me. I still dated women, but that also presented feelings of guilt.

One day after organic chemistry class, a friend and I were walking home from class. He was dating someone at the time, so I asked him about his girlfriend. That was what guys asked me all the time, so I figured that was the thing to do. When we got to my house, he came out to me. A calm and peaceful feeling came over me. I thought to myself, “Finally, someone like me!” However, I didn’t want to tell him right then that I was gay too because this was his moment to shine. This was his moment to tell me his secret. I didn’t get much sleep that night because I stayed up thinking about what this meant for me.

I had so many questions in my head, but a week later, I finally got the courage to

BS EXERCISE SCIENCE (’11)

DESCRIBE YOUR BYU EXPERIENCE: It was the last day of my mission in Brazil, and my mission president said, “Elder, there are three things you need to do when you return home. You will need to get a job. You will need to get an education. And you will need to find a wife.” The first two were easy, but that last one caused a lot of anxiety. I went on a mission with the intent to be “cured” or to “overcome” my sexuality. I knew I was gay, but I could not tell anyone about this because of the consequences. I had attended BYU before my mission, and I was so excited to go back. The friends that I had made freshman year had returned, I was ready to continue my education and be the social butterfly again.

Everyone who goes to BYU knows that the discussion of marriage is a very popular topic. As you get into the older wards, it is like the topic of discussion at least once every Sunday. When I got home from my mission, I started dating almost immediately on my journey to find “a wife.” It was fine at first because I had pretended for so long, plus between class, clubs, social events, and church callings, I became really good at suppressing my feelings. My mind began to change about the church when I had heard about Prop 8. I was living south of campus, and there was a flyer on my car. It was to announce a meeting with California residents about Proposition 8. I looked up what Proposition 8 was, and I asked people who

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tell him. In that conversation, I told him that I would remain active because I still had a testimony. I didn’t know what to do next. I realized that I didn’t have to.

I had to take it a day at a time. I read “In Quiet Desperation” and other books but still didn’t know what to do. There was a very small group of us (probably around six or seven) called USGA who met in a classroom together in the Talmage Building every week. This helped me out a lot. It mainly gave me the strength to realize that if there is a God, he loves me for who I am. I had several semesters left at BYU, and so I wanted to make sure that I was following the rules and didn’t get in any trouble. I remember that I would cringe during some of the religion classes.

Marriage Prep was one of the most uncomfortable classes that I had taken in a long time. I remember feeling awkward about some of the topics of discussion.

The relationship between husband and wife, the role of the Priesthood in that

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relationship, etc. It just didn’t feel right to me.

Overall, I have no regrets about my time at BYU. I have made lifelong friends, and I found myself. I grew up to be the man that I am today because of my time at BYU. My journey was my own. Everyone’s journey is different and deserves complete validation. Though I’m not active in the church, the culture is forever within me. Memories of the football games and camping out for the basketball games (Jimmer Fredette) are unforgettable. Though I may not agree with the decisions that they (BYU and the church) make, I will always be tied to BYU, and I’m ok with that.

Describe your post-BYU experience: I got a job as an Academic Advisor at Utah Valley University two months after I graduated. I was planning on attending medical school but decided to work to take a break from school. I later decided to get a Master’s from the University of

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Utah in Educational Psychology with an Emphasis in Instructional Design and Educational Technology. That has also motivated me to pursue a Ph.D. I’m currently living in Washington, DC, pursuing my Ph.D. in School Psychology from Howard University. Dating men has been super funny and interesting. I have several awkward (more comical) stories about guys that I have dated over the years. My family is very supportive of me and is excited that I’m closer to home.

Advice to a current LGBTQ+ Student: Hang in there! It is hard being a BYU student and part of the LGBTQ+ community, but remember that there is an end in sight. Get connected with organizations that not only support you as a person but also your beliefs. Remember, you are not alone. No matter how cliché that may sound, there are people at BYU who are there to support you. Lastly, LOVE YOURSELF! You are perfect just the way you are, and YOU have to believe that.

DESCRIBE YOUR EXPERIENCE POST-BYU Going to BYU was like running a marathon I didn’t train for and I am still catching my breath after it. I am so very grateful to be done. I can be anything and anyone I want to be now, and that opportunity is thrilling.

WHAT ADVICE OR WISDOM WOULD YOU SHARE WITH A CURRENT LGBTQ+ BYU STUDENT?

Sabina Mendoza BA EXERCISE SCIENCE (’18)

DESCRIBE YOUR BYU EXPERIENCE My time at BYU is one giant blur of anxiety, confusion, and bright spots of the most real and intense connections I’ll ever have. That is what I’ll remember most from BYU: meeting other queer Mormons and feeling truly seen and understood by others for the first time. I would do it all over again for the opportunity to know those people.

PHOTO: ROBERT VIGLASKY / HULU

All I know is that this life isn’t worth living if you’re not living as your 100% authentic self. And if someone or something isn’t allowing you to do that, get rid of that poison before it destroys any part of the glorious you. Hold tight to the people that do support the authentic you, and you will survive the hard times. Friends like that, especially at BYU, are worth more than gold.

ARE THERE ANY OTHER THOUGHTS OR EXPERIENCES YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE? There is nothing more satisfying than holding my diploma because it is proof that I survived when I almost didn’t. It is my proudest accomplishment, not because of the classes or grades, but because it taught me what I am capable of.

Dallin Chen BS MARKETING (’17)

DESCRIBE YOUR BYU EXPERIENCE My BYU experience was up and down.

I had always wanted to go to BYU ever since I joined the Church when I was 15.

My mission president also encouraged me to attend one of the BYUs, so I did. I started BYU – Idaho and got my Associate’s degree before attending BYU – Provo. While at BYU – Idaho, I didn’t connect with any other LGBTQ+ students because I was afraid of getting kicked

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out. After obtaining my Associate’s, I moved to Riverside, Calif., for a job, and that’s when I started dating people and trying to come to terms with my identity as a gay man. A year later, I went back to school at BYU – Provo.

I was good at pretending to be straight, so I did that when I first arrived at BYU. My roommates had no idea that I was gay, especially when I talked about girls from our FHE group. At the same time, I was dying to meet with other LGBTQ+ students. I had always known about USGA, so I went to one of their meetings.

People were really friendly, and I felt I finally found my kind of people. However, USGA also felt very disconnected from my “other” BYU experiences. It almost felt like my daily life — classes, interactions with roommates, friends, and school — were represented by one Dallin, while every Thursday night hanging out with USGA people was another version of me.

Both Dallins were only partially real. The fact that I wasn’t out to everybody was one reason why it was so hard to be at BYU. I had to compartmentalize my life.

I would often hear friends and coworkers at BYU talk about gay people, not knowing that I was actually gay.

It was hard not to take what they said personally. I thought, “these are some of my favorite people in life, and that’s what they would think of me if I came out to them?!” So I didn’t tell anybody! I came out to my first BYU (non-USGA) student one night. I was so sad that I just had to talk to someone. This guy was not really active in the church, and I have always found less-active Mormons easiest to come out to. He was very understanding, very supportive, and invited me to hang out the next day. His childhood friends were actually very strong members of the church but were very supportive and understanding, too. My experience at BYU took a turning point at that time.

These are people whom I call family today. We talked about girls for them and guys for me. When I didn’t have a car, they would let me use their car to go on dates. They invited me over for Christmas, and their parents were just as accepting and loving. My two Dallin experiences finally became one, and I was very much myself in front of them. They also gave me the courage to come out to more people. When the movie “Love, Simon” came out, we all went and saw it

together. They were the ones who cried in the theater, not me.

My dating life was very limited at BYU. It was already difficult enough to date as a gay man at BYU, but me being brown added another layer of difficulty.

In the gay community, it seems like only the white guys deserve a great love story, and BYU is no different. One of my gay friends put it this way: “To me, there are three main groups in Utah. The gays, the Mormons, and the ex-Mormons. All of them claim to be loving and all-accepting.

But the Mormons hate ex-Mormons and gays; the ex-Mormons hate the Mormons, and the gays hate Mormons and men of color.” However, I did have a chance to date around, but most of the men I dated were still very religious and filled with guilt. If we were a straight couple, then every step we took would have been blessed by many different people. That lack of support is the biggest challenge for homosexual dating at BYU.

DESCRIBE YOUR EXPERIENCES POST-BYU I just graduated from BYU. It feels like I can finally breathe. I no longer have to

hide things. My relationship with the LDS church is complicated. I don’t seem to believe in it as “the only true church” anymore since what they have been teaching about the LGBTQ+ community and me is drastically wrong.

I think the greatest thing to know is that, outside of the Mormon bubble, there are a lot of people who support us.

It is weirder to be Mormon than it is to be gay, and it’s very important for me to realize what the church teaches about me does not define me.

ADVICE TO CURRENT STUDENTS Consider different schools. BYU is a great place to get an education, but one should experience so much more than just getting a good education, and dating is part of it. That said, BYU is still a fantastic place, and many people love you for who you are. Not being able to date openly is sad, but there are other benefits.

Be strong and be brave. You are perfect the way you are! Q More alumni stories and further information on the Out Foundation can be fouind on their website at theout.foundation.

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BY ROMEO SAN VICENTE

The RuPaul Universe expands with “Queen of the Universe” RuPaul has a new ViacomCBS show called “Queen of the Universe.” Yes, it’s drag-based, because of course it is. But there’ll be no lip-syncing for one’s life. The queens in competition will have to use their mouths for something more than reading each other to filth and throwing shade, because like “American Idol” and “The Voice,” this is a singing contest. “RuPaul’s Drag Race” production company, World of Wonder, is behind the show, where queens from all over the world will compete to see who gets their own Kelly Clarkson “Moment Like This” moment. Obviously, they’ll have to serve sicken-

deep inside hollywood ing looks while doing so, but musical chops will matter more. One catch: you’ll have to sign up to Paramount’s new streaming service, Paramount+, to decide who can really sing and who should just keep moving their lips to Whitney Houston’s greatest hits. Get ready to borrow a friend’s password, Children.

Gillian Anderson steps into Eleanor Roosevelt’s shoes Eleanor Roosevelt was First Lady from 1933 to 1945, during her husband Franklin D. Roosevelt’s long tenure as President of the United States, and she was an outspoken advocate for civil rights in a time when that was considered controversial (ok, it still is). History also points to her as being bisexual, as she had an intimate relationship with

Qsaltlake.com |

journalist Lorena Hickock, their surviving love letters stating it as plainly as possible.

So it’s appropriate that bisexual icon Gillian Anderson will play this important American citizen in an anthology series for Showtime with the working title “The First Lady.”

Created by Aaron Cooley and directed by Danish filmmaker Susanne Bier (“Bird Box”), the project is executive produced

by Viola Davis – who’ll also work in front of the camera playing Michelle Obama – and will co-star Michelle Pfeiffer as Betty Ford. Projected air date for this one is later in 2021, and after the knockout “Mrs. America” treated us to historically important women played by some of our favorite actresses, we’ll be happily devouring this one, too. In fact, bring back Rose Byrne from “Mrs. America.” She can be Melania.

Amazon sets Pete Buttigieg documentary.

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In 2012, a Republican named Fred Karger was the first openly gay Presidential candidate. He didn’t get far then, but he did help set the stage for Democrat Pete Buttigieg, the mayor of South Bend, Indiana, who launched a more viable candidacy in 2016. That historical run for the nomination led to a high profile career as the current U.S. Transportation Secretary, and will now be the subject of “Mayor Pete,” a documentary for Amazon, from filmmaker Jesse Moss. Moss co-directed (along with Amanda McBaine, who’s co-producing here) the acclaimed doc “Boys State.”

The film will focus on Buttigieg’s rise from mayor into the ranks of the Democratic Party, his campaign successes and losses, and a look into

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his home life with husband Chasten. It’s another step forward, for sure, one of the ways political history gets built, and we’ll be looking forward not only to the film but to a Harris/Buttigieg ticket one day soon.

Laverne Cox gets a “Clean Slate” Legendary TV creator Norman Lear, who’ll be 99 years old this July, has a new project in the works with Amazon’s IMDbTV, a new premium free streaming service. The comedy is called “Clean Slate” and it’ll star Laverne Cox and veteran comedian George Wallace.

Created by Cox, Wallace, and screenwriter Dan Ewen (“Playing with Fire”), it’s the story of a car wash owner (Wallace) with an estranged relationship with his adult transgender daughter (Cox).

As the family members reunite after 17 years apart, Dad has to learn how to be the ally his daughter needs.

Not only will we be watching, but we’re excited to see Lear, after decades of groundbreaking progressive television, working with Cox, who’ll be the next person in what we hope is a long line of transgender artists creating a new generation of TV.

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Niecy Nash makes ‘The Perfect Find’ Niecy Nash, star of “Claws,” “Reno 911” and “Mrs. America,” has signed on to a new romcom for Netflix. It’s called “The Perfect Find,” it’s based on the 2016 novel by Tia Williams, and it stars Gabrielle Union (also producing) as a beauty journalist who falls for a co-worker – played

by Keith Powers (“Straight Outta Compton”) – who also happens to be the boss’s son.

That boss? Nash. Now, from watching the perfect and hilarious Nash on “Claws” as well as the perfect and hilarious Union in 2003’s underrated “Deliver Us from Eva,” we know there’ll be sparks flying as these two powerhouses do battle, and this is already in our imaginary Netflix queue.

Not sure when it’ll drop on the streaming service, but if you need a little Niecy before then, she’ll also be hosting the 32nd annual GLAAD Media Awards, streaming on both Hulu and YouTube April 8.

Alec Mapa, Alec Baldwin and Kelsey Grammer: The Odd Throuple?

Based on what the public has come to know about the sometimes difficult reputations of actors Alec Baldwin and Kelsey Grammer, it seems like a great time to cast them as roommates with combative egos.

And that’s what’s coming this fall when “Modern Family” writer/producers Chris Lloyd and Vali Chandrasekaran’s new untitled sitcom arrives.

Untitled for now, the veteran actors, alongside queer comic Alec Mapa, will play three friends who’ve known each other for decades, and whose past as bickering roommates collides with their present – as bickering roommates. No other details are known at this point, but reports are that Mapa’s character will be the

empathy-driven gay peacemaker. Of course, we’ve seen enough of Mapa’s delightful comic work to know that at some point his peacekeeping will turn into gay truth telling.

In other words we want to see him domestically dominate some straight men. That would be justice, we think. Keep an eye out for whatever it is they finally decide to call this one.

Annette Bening dives into Diana Nyad biopic Four-time Academy Award nominee Annette Bening (that’s right, she’s never won, because the world is chaotic and broken) invariably makes cool career choices, lending her recent projects an air of thoughtfulness that signals more than the usual Needed A Job vibe. So it’s wonderful news that she has signed on to star in a biopic based on lesbian long-distance swimmer Diana Nyad’s autobiography, “Find a Way.” Don’t know Nyad?

She’s the woman who, at age 64, swam from Cuba to Florida without any protective barrier in a stretch of water known for sharks and deadly jellyfish. She’s basically AquaWoman and deserves all respect for a lifetime of long-distance swimming accomplishments. The script, from Ann Biderman (“Ray Donovan”) and Julia Cox, will adapt Nyad’s book, and the film will be directed by Oscar winners Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi and Jimmy Chin (the nail-biting mountain climbing documentary “Free Solo”), making their narrative feature debut. And if you’ve seen “Free Solo,” you know these filmmakers have an affinity for people putting their bodies on the line for the historical glory of it all, and the talent to create unbearable cinematic tension in the process.

It’s a match made in extreme sports heaven. Q Romeo San Vicente’s political aspirations mostly involve binge-watching “Madam Secretary.”

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Matthew Ivan Bennett has hope for a sexually undefined character in his play ‘Art & Class’

BY MATTHEW IVAN BENNETT

In my new

play, Art & Class, teacher Lucía Mendoza-Horne fights for her job and reputation after she’s accused of showing “pornography” to her sixth-grade art students by a white conservative parent. In a whirlwind of negotiation, her friend — and principal — shares how he understands what it means to be treated like an outsider: …you may not appreciate me analogizing, but I understand some of your feelings. The ones we dance around. Once upon a time, I felt like an outsider too. On my mission, in Brazil, I got reassigned because some confusion arose between my companion and I, we had grown very close, very cordial, out of loneliness, and admiration.

Our mission president found out, we dealt with it, but I became the odd man out…

Dr. Leland Hess is not coming out to Lucía in this pivotal moment in their friendship. If anything, he’s trying to commiserate while subconsciously fishing for validation. Leland is married to a woman and expecting his fifth child. On the character page, I describe Leland as follows: “Early to Mid 40s. A white middle-school principal. A liberal LDS man who does not fit the molds on offer. Smarter than everyone around him except Lucía. He longs for a different life.”

I wrote Leland, in part, as an ode to LDS men from Utah who come so close to breaking free from cis-heteronormativity — and can even articulate critiques of it — but don’t quite succeed. He’s the sort of guy that macho straight guys (like Lucía’s husband), assume are gay for surface reasons.

I purposely left the ques-

tion of Leland’s orientation unanswered. I wanted the director and actors to grapple with it. Art & Class is a piece in which racial and socioeconomic dynamics are heavily in play. Leland is ostensibly white, straight, rich, and religious. He holds a position of power. But he lets himself be pushed around by his supervisors. His LDS ward gossips about him. He ditches church to see movies with Lucía. His paychecks cover less than his wife wants them to. In a moment calling for professionalism with a friend, he tries to leverage her with a personal secret. I wanted this moment — this strange show of vulnerability — to be in the play because big secrets make us

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dangerous in the context of power games. They especially make us dangerous when we find others unwilling to validate us. Lucía is a woman who would, ordinarily, accept Leland as a gay man, or bisexual man, but here he’s using his secret to downplay the racism she’s experiencing, and she knows it. Or at least that’s how it feels to Lucía in that moment.

A bisexual friend of mine once told me that when she came out to her book-religion mother, her mom wished that my friend was “just gay.” For whatever reason, it bothered the mother more that my friend was bi and not gay. Obviously, her mother would have preferred

Actors Flo Bravo, Roger Dunbar, Aaron Adams, Stephanie Howell

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her to be straight, but let her know aloud that the order of acceptance went as follows: straight, gay, bisexual. Wherever the character Leland in Art & Class actually locates himself on the spectrum of orientation — if he can locate himself — he has internalized that same of order of acceptance. He’s internalized an order that’s not even an order, really, because LDS orthodoxy quibbles with the categories themselves. The notion of loose/evolving orientation is even more unthinkable.

Outside the fiction of Art & Class, I have hope for men like Leland. I’m old enough to recall a time when liberals skewered bisexuality on TV. Remember Phoebe, from Friends, singing, “Sometimes men love women, and sometimes men love men, and then there are bisexuals, though some just say they’re kidding themselves”? She said “some just say,” but the audience laughed. Or else the editor added a canned laughter track. How far we’ve come. Q Playwright Matthew Ivan Bennett has previously premiered his plays Block 8, Di Esperienza, Mesa Verde, Eric(A), Different=Amazing, A/Version Of Events — as well as eleven Radio Hour episodes — at Plan-B Theatre.

The play is performed by actors Flo Bravo, Roger Dunbar, Aaron Adams, and Stephanie Howell.

Pay What You Can tickets are available for the world premiere of his latest, ART & CLASS, audio streaming April 15–25 on the company’s website, planbtheatre. org, and free app available for iPhone and Android.

A World Premiere by Matthew Ivan Bennett

audio streaming Thursday, April 15 at 8pm through midnight on Sunday, April 25 planbtheatre.org

32 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | COMICS

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 322 | APRIL, 2021

PUZZLES | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 33

APRIL, 2021 | ISSUE 322 | Qsaltlake.com

Do You Get a Rush Out of Hate?

Each Sudoku puzzle has a unique solution which can be reached logically without guessing. Enter digits 1 through 9 into the blank spaces. Every row must contain one of each digit, as must each column and each 3x3 square. Qdoku

Q doku Hard

5 4 7

4

3

6 9 3 2 4 8 2

7 2 8 1 5 2 9 6 5 1 9 4 7 1 3

6 7

4 6 5

5

4

8 7 5

1 4 2 5 6 7 9 3 6

9

3 1 5

4 1 5 4 7

2 2 8 1 8 9 3 2 6 4 3 4 3 1 8 7 2 7 6 1 6 1 8 4 9 5 3 9 9 3 8 9 1 7 5 6 5 9 6 3 8 4 2 3 9 5 7 2 3 8 1 5 8 9 7 8 2 3 9 5 3 8 4 2 7 8 9 5 6

5 8 6 2

51 Urvashi has one 52 Like better 54 Mary Cassatt, for one ACROSS 56 Hate-monger televi1 Irene who played sion host Coco in “Fame” 60 Tool for Mappletho5 S&M reminders rpe 10 XXX, in Greek porn?

61 Assumption of the 14 Give ___ to (apvirgin? prove) 62 Coup target, to 15 Easily screwed Cocteau 16 Trent of Mississippi 64 Mireille of “The 17 Circumcision, for Killing” one 65 Like “Don’t Let the 18 Take steps Sun Go Down on 19 Rick’s old flame Me”?

20 Hate-monger Ann 66 “The Lion King” 22 Hate-monger Sean sound 24 Heat and then cool 67 “___ interesting!”

25 Pussies with sharp 68 Tickle pink teeth 69 Humorist Bombeck 26 Caesar of comedy 27 What the tide does DOWN 31 ___ generis 1 Unresponsive body 32 Look for hotties in a 2 Negatively charged 3 The Capitol dome is gay bar its top 34 Stallion that’s spot4 “Hello” singer ted 5 Dik-dik, for one 35 WW II gun 6 Singer Vicki 36 Hate-monger radio 7 Hurry, to Shakehost speare 39 Last letter for Socra8 Porter’s “Well, Did tes You ___” 42 Geological span 9 It can coldcock you 43 Pics that penetrate 10 React to static your clothes 11 Most like St, Mary 47 Bert, to Ernie 12 “I’m being straight 48 Most able to bend with you!” over PUZZLE SOLUTIONS ON PAGE 34

13 Doesn’t leave the closet 21 Middle X or O 23 Anais who went both ways 28 College social 29 “Have a ball!”

30 Emma of “Battle of the Sexes” 33 Worn-out horse 35 Abbr. of old in Tatu’s land 37 Weapon pointed at James Bond’s crotch 38 Bit player 39 Antonym (abbr.)

40 Sultry Dietrich 41 Lover of Franklin and Lorena 44 Amelia Earhart, for example 45 Affirmation to a drag queen 46 Go down 49 Shower with kind words 50 “No Exit” playwright 53 Like Albert, in “The Birdcage” 55 “___ Is Nothing Like a Dame” 57 Ryan of porn 58 Vincent Lopez theme song 59 Responder to “Bite me!”?

60 “Little Miss Evil” writer Raphael 63 Refrain syllable

34 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | SEX

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 322 | APRIL, 2021

sex and salt lake city

A sex library

BY DR. LAURIE BENNETT-COOK

I am one

its kind in the world. It may or may not still be true, but it’s certainly large enough to fill a decent-sized book store. I have always felt the need to preserve it simply for its historical content, but have never pushed to do anything more with it. The contents have quietly sat in storage. That is, until this past weekend.

This past weekend my oldest grand kiddo turned 12. I traveled to California to spend the weekend with her. The plan was to stay in a fancy hotel and order in whatever foods she wanted and stream whatever movies she was interested in. Until … I asked if she wanted to go anywhere (that was open of course). Also an avid reader, she said, “The Bookstore!” So to the bookstore we went.

We each shopped in our sections of interest and after an hour or so met up with books we’d found. Back at the hotel, she proceeded to read one of her finds … and read, and read, and read, going through the entire novel

who loves to read. Not on a screen, but books. Old books; new books; mystery; science fiction; historical; biographies; The list of interests goes on and on. The one genre I’m rarely interested in reading, with the exception of author Anaïs Nin, is sexual. I supposed it’s because my entire career is spent absorbing sexual literature, research, and articles on a daily basis. So with that, it’s ironic that a couple of years ago I inherited a library. Yes, an entire library which is primarily comprised of homoerotic and sexual literature.

Magazines, articles, papers, books, etc. Many of which are out of print, but still incredibly telling of past times and the journey many have taken to pave the way for the rest of us in our sexual, relational, and gender liberties.

The library came about when the founder of where I earned my graduate degree died. At the time, the library was considered the largest of

Puzzle Solutions

in a single day, just before bed she asked: “Can we go back?” Knowing she still had a few other books she hadn’t touched I wondered what piqued her interest so much about this particular book.

With eyes beaming with excitement she exclaimed, “I never even knew this genre existed! I can relate to the characters so much!”

She shared the premise of the book she had fallen in love with. It was about a young adolescent’s struggle with coming out and having feelings for a friend of the same sex. She then went on to share that her own crush was a same-sex best friend of hers who had since moved away.

All this she shared so matter of factly, without shame. My Glamma heart beamed! Her excitement that there was literature that represented her was palpable.

So first thing the next morning, back to the bookstore we went, this time introducing her to the LGBT+ section. Her eyes lit up and she then spent the next two hours looking through everything.

When we eventually left she had an armful of books and a list of others to order as soon as these were done.

For much of the rest of the day, she and I sat at the park reading, and my thoughts trailed back to the library I have in storage. How much of that literature, magazines,

papers, books, articles, etc. had done the same for so many other people over the years.

While I’m well aware of the power of books to take us away on an adventure to unknown lands, the excitement coming from my granddaughter reminded me of the power books have to take us further into ourselves, specifically to a place of self-acceptance and personal love. I felt disappointed in myself for sitting on so much valuable literature for so long, but also grateful that this amazing kiddo reminded me of the healing magic held between pages of a well-written, relatable book.

Back home, I took a visit to my storage unit and wrote letters to a couple of universities that have expressed interest in the library. But my thoughts kept trailing to what can be done to share this treasure trove with those most appreciative. First things first, I need to hire a couple of people to come help catalog and then begin the arduous task of creating online content so the most eyes can see the history, passion, persistence, and hard work so many of our LGBT+ elders did for us. As well as recognize that if not for the excitement of a budding 12-year-old, it might all just still sit. Q Dr. Laurie Bennett-Cook is a Clinical Sexologist with a virtual private practice. She can be reached at DrLaurieBennettCook@ gmail.com

3 8 5 9 1 4 2 6 7

7 1 9 2 6 8 3 4 5

4 6 2 7 5 3 8 9 1

4 2 3 6 1 5 9 7 8

5 1 6 7 8 9 4 3 2

9 8 7 4 2 3 6 5 1

8 3 4 1 2 6 5 7 9 7 6 9 3 5 2 8 1 4

2 5 6 4 7 9 1 8 3 1 4 8 9 7 6 5 2 3

1 9 7 8 3 5 4 2 6 3 5 2 8 4 1 7 9 6

2 9 1 5 6 8 3 4 7 6 8 5 9 2 1 3 4 7 6 5 8

6 3 4 1 9 7 2 8 5 4 9 1 6 7 3 5 8 2 9 1 4

8 7 5 2 3 4 1 6 9 3 2 7 5 4 8 6 9 1 7 3 2

9 7 3 5 6 8 2 1 4

4 5 2 9 1 3 7 8 6

6 1 8 7 4 2 3 9 5

4 8 3 1 5 9 7 2 6 1 3 4 8 5 9 4 7 2 3 6 1

6 9 2 4 7 8 5 3 1 8 7 9 4 6 2 3 5 1 8 9 7

5 1 7 6 3 2 8 9 4 2 5 6 1 3 7 9 6 8 2 5 4

6 9 3 2 1 7 5 4 8 3 4 8 7 2 1 9 6 5

7 1 5 8 9 4 6 3 2 1 2 6 9 4 5 3 8 7

2 4 8 6 3 5 1 7 9 7 5 9 8 6 3 4 1 2

3 7 4 1 8 6 9 2 5 9 7 4 3 1 6 2 5 8

9 2 1 5 4 3 7 8 6 8 6 5 2 9 7 1 4 3

5 8 6 7 2 9 4 1 3 2 3 1 5 8 4 6 7 9

APRIL, 2021 | ISSUE 322 | Qsaltlake.com

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36 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | QMMUNITY

Qmmunity Groups BUSINESS

LGBTQ-Affirmative Psycho-therapists Guild of Utah  lgbtqtherapists.com * jim@lgbtqtherapists.com Utah LGBTQ+ Chamber of Commerce  utahlgbtqchamber.com * info@utahgaychamber.com LGBT & Allied Lawyers of Utah  lgbtutahlawyers.com * lgbtutahlawyers@gmail.com Utah Independent Business Coalition  utahindependentbusiness.org 801-879-4928 DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 YWCA of Salt Lake  ywca.org/saltlakecity 322 E 300 S 801-537-8600 HEALTH & HIV

Utah AIDS Foundation  utahaids.org * mail@utahaids.org

1408 S 1100 E 801-487-2323 Weber-Morgan Health Mon., Weds 1-4:30p 477 23rd St, Ogden Appt 801-399-7250 HOMELESS SVCS

VOA Homeless Youth Resource Ctr, ages 15–21 880 S 400 W 801-364-0744 Transition Homes: Young Men’s 801-433-1713 Young Women’s 801-359-5545

RELIGIOUS

First Baptist Church  firstbaptist-slc.org * office@firstbaptistslc.org 11a Sundays 777 S 1300 E 801-582-4921 Sacred Light of Christ  slcchurch.org 823 S 600 E 801-595-0052 11a Sundays Wasatch Metropolitan Community Church  wasatchmcc.org 801-889-8764 Sundays except the 2nd Sunday, 11:15a at Crone’s Hollow, 3834 S. Main

LEGAL

SOCIAL

Rainbow Law Free Clinic

1 to 5 Club (bisexual)  fb.me/1to5ClubUtah

2nd Thurs 6:30–7:30pm UofU Law School, 383 S University St POLITICAL

Equality Utah  equalityutah.org * info@equalityutah.org

175 W 200 S, Ste 1004 801-355-3479

Peer Support for Mental Illness — PSMI Thurs 7pm, Utah Pride Ctr

Utah Libertarian Party

Planned Parenthood 654 S 900 E 800-230-PLAN

Utah Log Cabin Republicans

Salt Lake County Health Dept HIV/STD Clinic 660 S 200 E, 4th Floor Walk-ins M–F 10a–4p Appts 385-468-4242

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 322 | APRIL, 2021

6885 S State St #200 888-957-8824

 bit.ly/logcabinutah

801-657-9611 Utah Stonewall Democrats  utahstonewalldemocrats.org  fb.me/ utahstonewalldems

 1to5club@

utahpridecenter.org Alternative Garden Club  bit.ly/altgarden * altgardenclub@gmail.com blackBOARD Men’s Kink/Sex/BDSM education, 1st, 3rd Mons.  blackbootsslc.org blackBOOTS Kink/BDSM Men’s leather/kink/ fetish/BDSM 4th Sats.  blackbootsslc.org Gay Writes writing group, DiverseCity 6:30 pm 2nd, 4th Mondays, Community Writing Ctr, 210 E 400 S Men Who Move  menwhomove.org

OWLS of Utah (Older, Wiser, Lesbian. Sisters)  bit.ly/owlsutah qVinum Wine Tasting  qvinum.com Sage Utah, Seniors  fb.me/sageutah  sageutah@ utahpridecenter.org 801-557-9203 Temple Squares Square Dance Club  templesquares.org 801-449-1293 Utah Bears  utahbears.com  fb.me/utahbears  info@utahbears.com Weds 6pm Raw Bean Coffee, 611 W Temple Utah Male Naturists  umen.org  info@umen.org Utah Pride Center  utahpridecenter.org  info@utahpridecenter.org 1380 S Main St 801-539-8800 Venture OUT Utah  bit.ly/GetOutsideUtah SPORTS

QUAC — Queer Utah Aquatic Club  quacquac.org  questions@ quacquac.org Salt Lake Goodtime Bowling League  bit.ly/slgoodtime Stonewall Sports SLC  fb.me/SLCStonewall  stonewallsaltlakecity. leagueapps.com 385-243-1828 Utah Gay Football League  UtahGayFootballLeague.com  fb.me/UtahGayFootballLeague Venture Out Utah  facebook.com/groups/ Venture.OUT.Utah SUPPORT

umen.org

Alcoholics Anonymous 801-484-7871  utahaa.org LGBT meetings: Sun. 3p Acceptance Group, UPC,1380 S Main

Tues. 8:15p Live & Let Live, Mt Tabor Lutheran, 175 S 700 E Wed. 7p Sober Today, 375 Harrison Blvd, Ogden Fri. 8p Stonewall Group, Mt Tabor Lutheran, 175 S 700 E Crystal Meth Anon  crystalmeth.org Sun. 1:30pm Clean, Sober & Proud LGBTQIA+Straight USARA, 180 E 2100 S LifeRing Secular Recovery 801-608-8146  liferingutah.org Sun. 10am Univ. Neuropsychiatric Institute, 501 Chipeta Way #1566 Thurs. 7pm, USARA, 180 E 2100 S, #100 Sat. 11am, First Baptist Church, 777 S 1300 E Men’s Support Group  utahpridecenter. org/programs/lgbtqadults/  joshuabravo@ utahpridecenter.org Survivors of Suicide Attempt  bit.ly/upc_sosa  sosa@ utahpridecenter.org Trans Adult Support  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/lgbtq-adults/  lanegardinier@ utahpridecenter.org

Youth Survivors of Suicide Attempt  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/youth-familyprograms/  youthsosa@ utahpridecenter.org YOUTH/COLLEGE

Encircle LGBTQ Family and Youth Resource Ctr  encircletogether.org fb.me/encircletogether 91 W 200 S, Provo, 331 S 600 E, SLC Families Like Ours (ages 2-10)  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/youth-familyprograms/ Gay-Straight Alliance Network  gsanetwork.org The OUT Foundation  theout.foundation  fb.me/theOUTfoundation Salt Lake Community College LGBTQ+ 8 slcc.edu/lgbtq/ University of Utah LGBT Resource Center 8 lgbt.utah.edu 200 S Central Campus Dr Rm 409 801-587-7973 USGA at BYU  usgabyu.com  fb.me/UsgaAtByu Utah State Univ. Access & Diversity Ctr  inclusion.usu.edu/ lgbtqa

TransAction  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/transaction/ Sundays 2–3:30pm

Utah Valley Univ Spectrum  facebook.com/ groups/uvuspectrum

Women’s Support Group  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/lgbtq-adults/  mariananibley@ utahpridecenter.org

Weber State University LGBT Resource Center  weber.edu/ lgbtresourcecenter 801-626-7271

Youth Support Group ages 10-14, 14-20

Youth Activity Night ages 10-14, 14-20  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/youth-familyprograms/

 utahpridecenter. org/programs/youthfamily-programs/

BOOK REVIEW | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 37

APRIL, 2021 | ISSUE 322 | Qsaltlake.com

the bookworm sez REVIEW BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

Let’s Get Back to the Party: A Novel BOOK BY ZAK SALIH ©2021, ALGONQUIN BOOKS OF CHAPEL HILL, $25.95, 288 PAGES

The place is filled with balloons.

They’re floating near the ceiling, strings just out of reach for now, some on the floor. The lights seem to be on a “twinkle” setting, and there are candles carefully nestled in centerpieces, so the entire room sparkles from corner to corner. The guest of honor isn’t there yet, but you are, and in “Let’s Get Back to the Party” by Zak Salih, you already wish you hadn’t come.

q scopes APRIL

BY SAM KELLEY-MILLS

ARIES March 20–April 19 Choosing a new path is recommended. This could mean validating your current directory, but the process is crucial right now. Take a moment to figure out where you are going and where you want to be in the near future.

TAURUS Apr 20–May 20 There could be problems with your friends, and it’s making you grumpy. Even so, it comes down to helping, hurting, or taking a break. Sometimes a little alone time is the best way to go, so enjoy yourself no matter what you decide.

GEMINI May 21–June 20 Try doing what you can to take a mini-vacation, even if you can’t really go far. The scenery isn’t bad where you are. You are

Sebastian Mote hadn’t seen Oscar Burnham in a decade, not since they were kids, but the guy across the room at the wedding reception sure looked like Oscar. If it was, Sebastian wondered if Oscar would he remember him, or their once-close friendship, or afternoons together in the basement and the things they did to one another?

Oscar Burnham was truthfully more interested in a cruising app than he was in rekindling a boyhood friendship. Sebastian was every bit as boring as Oscar remembered; he was probably one of those queens whose only focus, now that gay marriage was legal, was to have a husband and a bunch of obnoxious kids. It irritated Oscar that he was forced to exchange phone numbers with Sebastian and lame promises to hang out soon.

Soon. More like not-soon, since Oscar was busy with

someone he met when an app-date didn’t show up. Sean Stokes was an older man, a writer, and though Oscar professed to dislike reading, he was captivated by Sean’s explicit tales of queer life before Oscar was even born. He couldn’t get enough of Sean — and vice versa, apparently, because Sean asked for Oscar’s stories and it eventually became clear that Sean’s next book would be about Oscar.

There was no denying that Oscar’s ghosting hurt Sebastian, but he rather expected it.

Instead, he threw himself into a friendship with a young student at his school, daring to let himself become obsessed with seventeen-year-old Arthur. It was painful, hopeful, and something he could never admit to anyone else.

Least of all, his boyhood pal, Oscar…

At first browse, “Let’s Get Back to the Party” can seem long and very wordy. It hangs

craving a new perspective. Go alone or with a friend and figure out a nice place to rejuvenate your mind.

about the degree of quality. In the end, you can fix the small stuff.

CANCER June 21–July 22 No one can stop you when you have your mindset on something you want. What you might not expect is pushback from someone who finds your methods shocking. Take a step back and talk with this person and laugh.

LEO July 23–August 22 Ever get the sense that others are out to get you?

That might actually be true, but only because they have their own sets of agendas. Realize that what you do and what they do have nothing to do with each other. Try to have fun.

VIRGO August 23–Sep. 2 Grab life by the horns and go with the flow. Everything seems to be going okay, even if it isn’t perfect. Continue figuring out the best way to get results and worry less

LIBRA Sept 23–October 22 The problems you are facing seem big when they all come at once. Check tasks off one at a time. It’s all small stuff getting you down, so treat it as such. In the end, there are many rewards in these small packages of triumph.

SCORPIO Oct. 23–Nov. 21 You’ll be wondering what happened to your social life. The real answer is that it’s simply on hold.

When things get back to normal, it’s going to be a blast from the past.

Examine what matters and chill with a refreshing drink.

SAGITTARIUS

Nov. 22–December 20.

There could be some problems with a key relationship. While it might make you sad, there is nothing to be gained by crying over it. Instead, take a moment to allow yourself a do-over, or at the very least, a reflec-

on the lives of two men who are mostly not very likable, to themselves or to one another, and how they hold on to their history with fingernails on one hand, pushing each other away with the other hand. You’ll want to shake them, but the thing is, it’s hard not to want to watch them make their own lives worse: this novel is a little schadenfreudey, but with a degree of sympathy.

The sympathy wins, as author Zak Salih shows sides of both Sebastian and Oscar that neither character would admit, and reasons why each becomes contemptuous with the other. The truth, for one of them, is a devastating shocker that slams the brakes on the tale but alas, getting there takes a while; you’ll want to ride that wave to this books’ fitting end.

And in that end, “Let’s Get Back to the Party” really pops. Q tion of self.

CAPRICORN Dec 21–Jan 19

Get involved with a cause that speaks to you. This can be a personal one or a social movement.

But in the end, the goal is to find focus in purpose. Even if you don’t get paid, the reward will be the feeling of gaining results.

AQUARIUS Jan. 20–Feb. 18 Calming times are bound to have you resting in the best possible way. Put aside anything that drags you from this place, whether it be a job or social obligations. This is your time to figure yourself out.

Claim your time wisely.

PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19 It doesn’t feel good to look at your financial situation.

Get your affairs in order and clean up the minor messes. Pay attention to everything that isn’t working and make it work. In the end, attention to detail is most satisfying.

38 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FINAL WORD

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 322 | APRIL, 2021

the perils of petunia pap smear

A tale of a quarantined queen

BY PETUNIA PAP SMEAR

The road

to Covid safety is fraught with danger

and excitement.

It’s been a long and lonely winter.

Since I am a significantly gravity enhanced queen, (some unwise medical professionals have used the words morbidly plump just prior to their swift and violent deaths by purse pounding) who is left gasping for air after climbing one flight of stairs, I lived in mortal fear of catching Covid-19 and prematurely playing out a tragically epic death scene, worthy of Days of Our Lives. Therefore, I spent the majority of the last year quarantining at home in Chateaux Pap Smear.

During the warmer months, I was able to go outside and visit parks, etc. while maintaining a safe social distance. But when the cold depths of winter set in, I was mostly stuck at home alone, left with only my own thoughts for company. Never a good prospect. I thought of going into hibernation but realized that my C-pap breathing machine’s humidifier would run out of water and I would most likely shrivel up like a gigantic raisin and die.

Therefore, after binge-watching the entire Netflix library, I began to go a little stir-crazy. To occupy some time and to make at least a feeble attempt at being productive, I grabbed the glue gun, some glitter, and rhinestones, and low and behold the bedazzlement of anything that was within easy reach of my recliner ensued.

Since the beginning of the pandemic, I have been frustrated to no end by the fact that my face masks were very plain and covered up my sparkly glitter mustache.

So, I took my best mask and deftly drew a symmetrical handlebar mustache, and proceeded to glitterize it. Then I lined the border with rhinestones. Proud of my adept gluing skills, I put the mask on and gazed in the mirror to see how it looked.

Despite the rather nifty glue work, if I do say so myself, it somehow looked off-kilter. I stared and pondered and couldn’t determine what was wrong. Then I held up a photo of my face next to the mirror

and the problem became immediately obvious. When putting a glitter mustache on my face, since I am right-handed, I always have trouble drawing the left side, and hence the mustache is always lopsided.

The one on the mask was symmetrical and thus looked unnatural. I suppose I could overlook some unnatural perfection.

Next up, I decided to organize my breasticle shelf. This sounds like a simple project, but alas, there are 27 pairs of breasticles, each pair a different color.

They were all mixed up and needed sorting, so I pulled them all out and set them up on the basement floor. I stood back and realized that if I got down on my hands and knees, and looked at them all at eye level, the forest of mountainous breasticles tended to resemble the Swiss Alps.

My imagination got the best of me and, since it was January, I decided to organize them into an Alpine skiing vignette. Needing some snowy ground cover between the breasticle mountains, I got into my wardrobe and pulled out my white temple caftan and laid it on the floor. Naturally, I strung festive lights on the breasticles for special effect. Well, no alpine village scene would be complete without some people, so I got out a bunch of my scantily clad Ken dolls and began posing them among the breasticles in various alpine vignettes. Now you might ask, why does she have a bunch of Ken dolls? Well, a nearly naked Ken doll makes an excellent conversation starter of a Christmas tree ornament.

One doll was wearing a flannel shirt so of course, he was my lumberjack. I began to sing the Monty Python lumberjack song as I happily worked, and my spirits rose until I was almost giddy with delight.

Oh, I’m a lumberjack and I’m okay, I sleep all night and I work all day.

I cut down trees and eat my lunch and I go to the lavatory.

On Wednesdays, I go shopping and have buttered scones for tea…

I cut down trees and skip and jump and

like to press wildflowers.

I put on women’s clothing and hang around in bars…

I cut down trees and wear high heels, suspenders, and a bra.

I wish I’d been a girly, just like my dear papa.

Since I had multiple nearly naked Ken dolls, I posed them skiing between a breasticle giant slalom course. Then I took some ribbons and strung them from the tops of the breasticles to the bottom, like ski-lifts.

Unbeknownst to me, Mr. Pap Smear came home from work. Apparently, he stood in the doorway and gazed at the scene laid out before him for a long time without saying a word. After a couple of rousing choruses of the lumberjack song I glanced up and noticed him watching me.

It startled me so much that I inadvertently shrieked, and a little bit of pee came out. He slowly shook his head, rolled his eyes, and backed ever so carefully out of the room. He never spoke of this again.

This story leaves us with several important questions: 1. Is a Covid test anything like a pap smear? They both use swabs, don’t they?

2. Perhaps I could volunteer to help give swabs at the Covid testing center.

3. Should I begin a campaign to get nearly naked breasticle giant slalom racing into the Olympics?

4. Should I volunteer to help Governor Cox campaign for Utah to get the Winter Olympics again?

5. Should I begin calling myself the Quaran-Queen?

6. Do You think I need to retain a lawyer to prevent Mr. Pap Smear from committing me to the asylum?

These and other eternal questions will be answered in future chapters of The Perils of Petunia Pap Smear. Q

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With purchase of CoolSculpting package. Expires 4/30/21

BOTOX

After

Before

$

9/unit

Molly Mears, MD

*

Reg. $12 *30 Unit Min. Expires 4/30/21

K YBELL A ®

Before

NATURAL, NON-SURGICAL INJECTION TO PERMANENTLY REMOVE DOUBLE CHIN

$

After

375/Vial

*Minimum 2 vials/treatment Reg. $595/vial. Expires 4/30/21

801-294-9999

1560 S. Renaissance Towne Drive, Bountiful www.enlightenlaser.com

*

@EnlightenUtah