QSaltLake Magazine - 291 - Jan 3 2019

YEAR IN REVIEW • QUEER GUIDE TO SUNDANCE • MORMON COMEDIAN COMES OUT • ‘EX-GAY’ THERAPY

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Issue 291 | JANUARY 3, 2019

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news The top national and world news since last issue you should know No more straight washing for this faux gay boy Actor and singer Darren Criss, who played Blaine Anderson on the now-defunct TV show Glee, says he is done playing gay characters to ensure gay actors get the chance to perform as they deserve.

Running just ahead of the Twitter mob dedicated to “he’s not gay so he can’t play gay characters,” Criss announced on Bustle, “There are certain [queer] roles that I’ll see that are just wonderful, but I want to make sure I won’t be another straight boy taking a gay man’s role.”

He wants to avoid charges of “straightwashing,” an accusation levied at the film Call Me By Your Name, for example, since neither lead Timothee Chalamet or co-star Armie Hammer will say they are gay. Everyone’s a critic.

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of their HIV status. A suit filed by Lambda Legal and OutServe-SLDN said the plaintiffs tested positive for HIV last year during Air Force screenings and started anti-retroviral treatments. And doctors said they were physically fit enough to deploy.

However, they were discharged, because HIV-positive personnel are banned from deploying to the Middle East, where many Air Force members tend to go. The men also said they were not offered acceptable alternative jobs in the military. No comment from outgoing, confirmed bachelor, Secretary of Defense James Mattis.

Gotta watch your mouth Martina Navratilova, an outand-proud tennis legend with a long history of human rights advocacy, got the treatment from an outraged mob when she opined on Twitter, “You can’t just proclaim yourself a female and be able to compete against women.” She called for standards and mentioned ”penis” in the same message.

She was quickly declared a transgender phobic person. A transgender cyclist responded, “People: genitals are IRRELEVANT to sports performance.

You don’t hit a tennis ball with your penis or vagina. If you do, you’re doing it wrong.”

Avoiding a re-education camp, Navratilova later deleted her post and apologized for causing offense for calling for standards and pledged to get better educated.

Steam room activity causes suit HIV Doesn’t Fly In USAF Two U.S. airmen are suing over what they describe as an “unconstitutional and improper” discharge because

A New York self-identified “straight, single dad” is suing a NYC gym when he witnessed men sexually touching themselves or other men in the gym steam room. He described being lasciviously stared at

Issue 291 | JANUARY 3, 2019

‘Church Lady’ blames Satan for rainbow flag Father Jerome Lavigne, a Roman Catholic priest with alleged ties to white supremacist figures, sermonized in Calgary, Canada that the rainbow flag is a symbol of “lawlessness” and condemned “fornication, homosexual acts, prostitution, pedophilia, sodomy.” Looking for someone to blame he chose Satan, “There is only one who twists truth to this level. His name is Satan.”

The Calgary Diocese removed a video of the sermon from its website but has not announced any forthcoming discipline in while stating, “The Catholic Church advocates for the common good of society, so that we live together in an atmosphere of peace, safety and respect for the dignity of one another regardless of age, ancestry, body image, culture, sexual orientation and religion.” and seeing other men pleasuring each other. He feared he’d be sexually assaulted and complained to gym staff, to no avail.

His suit claims the gym has known about and condoned steam room sex for more than 10 years. The gym’s official response is, yawn, “We maintain a zero-tolerance policy for any inappropriate behavior in our clubs.”

sentence for burglary.

Subsequent therapists testified she had all the features of someone convinced of their female identity. Court testimony claimed her low testosterone levels due to hormone treatments meant she was “functionally chemically castrated.”

Transgender inmate moved from male prison A federal court ruling made the state of Illinois move an inmate, who has identified as a woman since age 15, to an all-female prison in the state.

The court ruled she had a strong case that her equal-protection rights were violated because she was unable to comfortably present herself as female in the male prison. The state countered she “was OK” being a male during intake at the beginning of her 10-year

DC conservative mag says gay couple ‘Men of the Year’ Declaring ”Bravery takes many forms,” the Washington Free Beacon named Bill White and Bryan Eure as “Men of the Year”. The New York City-

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based married couple earned the award by switching from ardent Obama and Clinton supporters to supporting the current president.

The switch, bravely, took place on election night while they were attending the funereal Clinton Election watch party. They found that blase and fled to the “winner’s party” down the street.

The Beacon says their bravery is punctuated by a loss of friends in Manhattan and social standing on Fire Island. They have since left the Hamptons for Atlanta, where they can comfortably wear MAGA hats at the baths.

Besides the Beacon’s award, they now have the president’s junior son’s cell phone on speed dial. Brave, indeed.

would “amplify the negative publicity already generated in connection with this case.”

Spacey has said he will plead not guilty to charges of indecent assault and battery.

The 18-year-old man claimed to be 23 years old and drank for hours with the actor before claiming he was “groped.” The Nantucket man videoed the groping and sent it to his girlfriend.

The incident occurred in 2016 and was made public by the man’s mother, a one-time Boston TV news personality.

Madonna sings at Stonewall Inn

HIV virus eliminated in experiments Scientists at Paris’ Institutes Pasteur announced they used metabolic activity inhibitors to eliminate the HIV virus from “reservoir” cells. HIV, even when brought down to undetectable levels, leaves a small amount of the virus latent within certain “reservoir” cells.

The Institute says current anti-retroviral treatment blocks HIV infection but is not able to eliminate the virus.

The metabolic inhibitors give promise to eliminate HIV from the body, they said.

Spacey pleads not guilty to groping Nantucket man Kevin Spacey’s video makes you aware of just how riveting an actor he is, but his skill was not enough to keep him from being arraigned in person. A court ruled he must appear in a Massachusetts court on accusations that he groped a young man in Nantucket.

Spacey argued his attendance at the arraignment

Ricky Martin and husband welcome baby It was was a wonderful end to 2018 for Ricky Martin and his husband Jwan Yosef who just welcomed a baby girl, Lucia, to their family.

“We are beyond happy to announce that we have become parents to a beautiful and healthy baby girl, Lucia Martin-Yosef,” Martin announced in an Instagram post with a sweet photo of the proud dads holding baby Lucia’s tiny hands.

“It has been a special time for us and we can’t wait to see where this stellar baby will take us,” Martin continued.

Martin and Yosef wed in January of 2018 after two years of dating. The international pop star met Yosef, a painter and visual artist on Instagram and they began dating. In November of 2016, Martin appeared on Ellen DeGeneres’s show and an-

Madonna, like most 60+ seniors, was looking for something to do on New Year’s Eve, so she dropped by New York’s Stonewall Inn for an impromptu performance. The self-proclaimed Queen of Pop performed “Like a Prayer” and Elvis Presley’s 1961 hit “Can’t Help Falling in Love.”

She was accompanied only by her 13-year-old son, David Banda, on guitar.

Madonna had been named a “Stonewall Ambassador” by NY Pride and the “spur-of-the-moment appearance” comes on 50th anniversary of the 1969 Stonewall Riots. nounced that he’d asked Yosef to marry him.

He’s my husband. He’s my man,” Martin said following their wedding. “We exchanged vows…It feels amazing!”

Baby Lucia is also welcomed by her 10-year-old twin brothers, Valentino and Matteo.

“Both her beautiful brothers and me and Jwan have fallen in love with Lucia,” Martin wrote.

Chicago Sky’s Courtney Vandersloot and Allie Quigley are married WNBA players and Chicago Sky teammates Courtney Vandersloot and Allie Quigley pulled off a massive play when they were quietly married in Seattle, Wash. Dec. 27, accord-

ing to The Chicago Tribune.

Several members of the Sky attended the nuptials. Among those in attendance were Diamond DeShields and Gabby Williams, who appeared in a celebratory video taken at the reception.

Quigley, 32, is a native of Illinois who graduated from DePaul University and played for several WNBA clubs and in Europe. In 2014, she was awarded the WNBA Sixth Woman of the Year Award after the Sky made it to the finals for the first time.

Vandersloot, 29, was a highly decorated college player at Gonzaga University in Spokane, Wash. who joined the Sky and was part of the team that led the Sky to the finals in 2014.

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Issue 291 | JANUARY 3, 2019

Utah Sen. Lee single-handedly blocks lesbian EEOC appointment Utah Sen. Mike Lee has single-handedly blocked the nomination of lesbian attorney Chai Feldblum to a third term on the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission.

In a Dec. 19 Senate floor discussion on the Feldblum nomination, Lee invoked a long-standing Senate rule that gives a single senator the ability to indefinitely hold up and potentially kill a presidential nomination for a non-judicial appointment by declaring an objection to the nominee.

In keeping with another longstanding tradition of bipartisan cooperation in approving nominees to the five-member EEOC, President Donald Trump earlier this year agreed to a request by Senate Democrats that he nominate Feldblum for a third term on the EEOC. At the same time, Trump nominated two others to the EEOC at the request of Senate Republicans.

Trump was following a tradition carried out by nearly every U.S. president since the EEOC was created by Congress in 1965 to enforce the employment nondiscrimination provisions of the U.S. Civil Rights Act of 1964. Since that time three of the five commissioners have been selected for a four-year term by the party that holds the presidency while the other two have been selected by the minority party.

Sen. Patty Murray, D-Wash., who has led efforts in support Feldblum’s nomination, pointed out in remarks on the Senate floor on Wednesday that the Senate has approved nearly all EEOC nominees by a unanimous consent. When she asked for unanimous consent for the confirmation of Feldblum along with GOP nominees Janel Dhillon and Daniel Gade, Lee objected.

Among other things, Lee accused Feldblum of being a strong and unreasonable opponent of “religious freedom” and claimed Feldblum has stated openly that in employment discrimination cases, an employer cannot cite religious beliefs as a legal ground for refusing to hire someone.

“Ms. Feldblum has written that she sees a conflict between religious belief and LGBT liberty as ‘a zero-sum game’ where ‘a gain for one side necessarily entails a corresponding loss for the other side,’”

Lee quoted Feldblum as saying.

“These are not the words of an open-minded lawyer,” he continued. “These are the words of an activist intent on stamping out all opposition to her cause.”

Lee also said he opposes Feldblum’s nomination because of her longstanding and active role in pushing for legalizing same-sex marriage, something Lee said he strongly opposes because it’s at odds with his religious beliefs.

Murray disputed Lee’s interpretation of Feldblum’s statements pertaining to the issue of employment discrimination. She also pointed out that by blocking a resolution for the joint approval of Feldblum and the other two nominees, Lee’s action would result in the lack of a quorum on the EEOC because there would be just two of the five commissioners in office beginning on Jan. 1.

Such a development could prevent the EEOC from deciding on important employment discrimination and sexual harassment cases expected to be brought before the commission in 2019, Murray said.

“I come to the floor today to raise concerns about the unprecedented and partisan obstruction of a highly qualified nominee to a critical agency,” Murray said in her remarks on the Senate floor.

“In this country it is illegal to discriminate against someone in the workplace because of the traits that make them who they are — their race, religion, sex, disability, and more — and it is the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission’s responsibility to enforce those laws and give every person the opportunity to make a living for themselves without fear of discrimination or harassment,” Murray said.

She and others supporting Feldblum’s nomination have also noted that Feldblum played a key role in persuading the EEOC to interpret existing federal laws to ban discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity. Lee has cited Feldblum’s actions along those lines as among the reasons why he’s opposing her nomination for a third term on the commission.

“Right now, a single Republican senator is threatening to derail the confirmation of Ms. Feldblum for another term on the EEOC,” Murray said. “Ms. Feldblum has

served two terms on the EEOC, where she has earned the respect of her professional colleagues on both sides of the aisle,” Murray said. “She has strong support from Republicans and Democrats in the Senate, and she has been confirmed by this Senate twice.”

The New York-based national LGBT advocacy organization GLAAD is among the organizations and individuals supporting Feldblum that are calling on Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) to use his authority to release the Feldblum nomination from Lee’s hold and bring it to the Senate floor for a vote.

“Commissioner Feldblum has served the EEOC with integrity and is experienced and highly qualified for the job,” said GLAAD President and CEO Sarah Kate Ellis. “With many Americans seeking justice and surviving discrimination and sexual harassment in the workplace, it’s imperative that the country’s top political reporters cover this alarming problem,” said Ellis, who was referring to GLAAD’s concern that mainstream media outlets have not reported the holdup of Feldblum’s nomination.

“One anti-LGBTQ activist should not silence many people seeking justice under the law,” Ellis said.

Also expressing support for Feldblum’s nomination this week was Jerri Ann Henry, who assumed the role of executive director of Log Cabin Republicans.

“Log Cabin Republicans is disheartened to hear that Republican Senator Mike Lee is delaying the bipartisan confirmation of Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) nominee Chai Feldblum over her support for same-sex marriage,” Henry said in a statement. Q

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Stolen trailer devastates Utah colorguard community On December 27, Cory Oliver woke up to discover that the trailer containing the props and gear for two Wasatch Independent Colorguards had been stolen from his front yard. The guard (as they call themselves) consists of fifty-four members, nine staff, and come from twenty different high schools. This particular guard is unique in that the staff and members also teach/volunteer for the majority of Utah’s High School Colorguards. These leaders often work 10-20 hours each week for the love of their craft which offers hundreds of Utah students a community and art. This year is also Wasatch’s ten-year anniversary season.

“Our guard is very diverse, we come from over a dozen schools, a variety of religious backgrounds, and about a quarter of our guard are part of the LGBTQ community.”

Says Jessie Kimball, Member and former Wasatch A guard captain. “Our budget comes 100% from member fees, and we lost about $3,000 worth of equipment including our recently purchased trailer that we were fixing-up. Most of our guard are college students, and this is the thing we budget and sacrifice for each year. Without outside help, Wasatch independent has few ways to replace the stolen items and transport our equipment to shows.”

“Wasatch Independent is the backbone of the colorguard community in Utah.”

Says Shey Buhler, Co-Captain of Wasatch A Guard.

“Wasatch has currently lost their rehearsal space twice this year and is in the process of trying to find/pay for a new permanent space to rehearse.

The loss of our stuff was an added punch to an already struggling season.”

“It may take years to recover from this.” Says Oliver, Head Director of Wasatch Independent “This program not only gives college students an outlet for creativity, but it has created a home for many people.” Buhler adds, “Colorguard saved my life. There Is no doubt that several of us wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for the support from this program” The goal of Wasatch Independent is to build an environment where all participants feel welcome and supported in their guard and the guards they manage. Wasatch Independent participates each year in the Utah Pride Parade in support of their LGBTQ members and community.

“We take this goal of love and acceptance to our high school students to help teach them valuable lessons on teamwork, friendship, and the inherit worth of all people.” Says Kimball.

Wasatch Independent Performing Arts is a non-profit organization based in Sandy.

Wasatch currently has a GoFundMe in progress to help replace the stolen items.

In addition to replacing our stolen props, trailer, and sound equipment, Wasatch is still looking for help finding and paying for a permanent rehearsal space in Salt Lake or Utah county. Last year, Wasatch Independent competed in national WGI competition and placed 19th.

They hope to compete in two regionals this year including the Las Vegas Super Regional.

Donate at https://tinyurl. com/y8yzqylm Q

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Issue 291 | JANUARY 3, 2019

Mormon comedian publicly comes out, offers support to LGBT youth

BY TONY HOBDAY

Provo-based comedian, writer, actor Stacey Harkey, 30, joins the ranks of Utah artists raising awareness on the LGBT youth suicide epidemic.

At an early age, Stacey Harkey knew he was attracted to the same sex. But coming from an LDS family, as is all too common, Harkey was faced with fears: two of the biggest he told QSaltLake Magazine were “losing valuable relationships” his family and friends, as well as being ostracized by the Church of Latter-day Saints in which he grew up and remains an active member today.

Those fears prompted Harkey to try to “fix” himself “by fitting into a mold” that plainly wasn’t for him.

“I not only avoided interacting with other guys in a romantic way but my mind was a steel trap,” he said. “I didn’t even entertain ideas of romantic relationships under the impression that if I gave it any ground in my mind it could potentially take me over like a rampant virus. I prayed and begged and pleaded for God to remove this from me.”

He immersed himself in the scriptures of the church imagining that would help keep his “evil feelings at bay.” Also, Harkey said he even tried dating women hoping that was the key (to his salvation?)

It wasn’t until returning from his mission that he realized he couldn’t fix what wasn’t broken. So Harkey took a different leap of faith and came out to his family as well as his ward’s bishop.

“My family has been so supportive,” he told QSaltLake. “My parents, as traditional and conservative as they are, are really trying to figure out what it means to be supportive and its a learning experience for us all. They express so much love for me and want me to know that’ll never

change and that means so much to me.”

And, according to Harkey, his bishop told him that no matter what happens, he would always be welcomed at the ward.

About a week before Christmas this year, Harkey took another leap of faith and came out on his social media platforms — mostly to supportive response.

That decision though was much more than about himself; he wanted to be a new and encouraging source for LGBT youth of Utah struggling with depression and suicidal feelings.

He wrote as part of his coming out on Instagram: “If you want/need to talk to someone, I’m here for you. Call me, text me, DM me and I swear I’ll keep your info private and between us. You’re not alone in this. I’m so sorry if you wanted to hear this from me in person and if that’s the case please call me/message me and let’s chat.”

“I have received hundreds of messages

from people that took me up on that offer,” said Harkey. “A large portion of my holiday was staying up late responding to messages. There were messages of support and love, message of concern and criticism, and messages from LGBT people expressing thanks or begging for help.”

He also told QSaltLake that he has received dozens of messages from people that weren’t LGBT but struggled with anxiety, depression, bullying, or the loss of a loved one and were just looking for help and support. In fact, Harkey recalled one particular message he received that made him extremely grateful to have come out publicly.

“I could’ve received only hateful negative comments and this one message would’ve made it all worth it,” Harkey said. “A young lady reached out and let me know she was a member of the LDS church and, with the pills ready to go, was about to attempt suicide. A friend

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shared my post with her and it apparently was what she needed in that moment to not go through with it. It terrified me and filled me with hope at the same time.”

When asked if he had other steps in place to help shed more light on the seemingly insoluble dilemma of youth suicide, he said, “I’m still so new to the LGBT community and have a lot to learn. A friend compared it to finally getting my letter to Hogwarts; I’ve always been gay but am just now entering this new world.”

Harkey also is reaching out to others in the community already trying to help “ameliorate this problem in our culture.” You can find contact info for Steve Harkey on Facebook, Intagram, and Twitter.

Stacey Harkey December 19, 2018 Here’s your fact of the day: I’m gay.

I debated for quite some time if this was an announcement I should make publicly or if I should just quietly live my life and let it be. I knew telling the world my 30-year-old secret would open me up to a lot of potential criticism, backlash and pain...

BUT did you know that Utah has the highest suicide rate amongst LGBT teens? Did you know there are soo many people in this community that are soo scared and unsupported that they feel the BEST alternative to living is death? So many people are living quiet lives afraid and unsure of themselves and I’m coming out for them.

I’m coming out so they know they’re not alone.

I’m coming out in hopes that at least one LGBT teen feels like they have support. I’m coming out because I have a unique position in this community and no matter how much criticism comes my way it will be worth it if just one person avoids suicide or just feels better about themself.

I’m so sorry this took me so long to share but it’s been a long journey of self discovery. I’m not ashamed of who I am.

A little while back I found myself at an ultimate low, praying and begging God for answers, pleading for direction and guidance. In that moment I felt so much peace and love. I instantly felt like this part of myself that I’ve grown to demonize is an integral part of who I am. This part of myself that I’ve spent my whole life fighting isn’t my enemy. This part of myself that I’ve shoved into a dark dungeon deserves light. It was the sweetest feeling and it taught me that God expects me to be who he made me to be and expects me to develop myself and magnify who I am.

You are soo important! Believe me when I say that you are needed. This community needs you and the beautiful hues you bring to it. If you need/want to talk Please text me/call me/message me. No matter if you’re gay or straight come talk to me if you have any questions and it’ll stay between us.

Qmmunity Encircle holds Love Louder Art Sale Take your friends and family to get a first look at the Love Louder Art Sale, benefiting Encircle’s new Salt Lake City center located at 331 S. 600 East, on January 18 at 5 p.m.

The gallery will showcase local and national artists reflecting the talents and generosity of the LGBT community.

The new center located downtown is supported by the John Williams Foundation and named for Salt Lake City restaurateur, who was murdered by his estranged husband in May 2016.

The Love Louder Art Sale will then hold a reception at the Encircle Provo center the following day on Saturday, Jan. 19, 5-9 p.m.

Utah Valley University to put on unique, intimate production of ‘The Laramie Project’ This month, the Utah Valley University School of the Arts brings a unique version of The Laramie Project, the story of the brutal murder of Matthew Shepard.

This play uses verbatim dialogue from actual people. As such, there is strong language including profanities and homophobic slurs. There is a brief description of a brutal act of violence. The performance is presented as “promenade theater,” a form of immersive theater where walking

and periods of standing are required. There will be moments where the audience will be seated. And the actors will be moving all around the space and frequently address the audience.

The production runs January 18–26 at the UVU School of the Arts, 800 W. University Pkwy., Orem.

The times and ticket prices vary and may be purchased at uvu.universitytickets.com.

SVUUS OWL to educate middle schoolers Founded in 1983, the South Valley Unitarian Universalist Society has roots deep in religious liberalism and explores what they call the “big questions,” encouraging members in their spiritual journeys. Their programs and events support people as they grow in curiosity, spirit, and community.

They believe each person has a unique gift to offer the world and seeks to nurture and celebrate those gifts. They welcome young and old, families and singles, all the colors and cultures of the human race including LGBT people.

As such, they created a program called Our Whole Lives, which are comprehensive sexuality education workshops designed as a collaboration between the Unitarian Universalist Society and the United Church of Christ, taught by trained volunteers. It equips participants with accurate, age-appropriate information in six subject areas:

human development, relationships, personal skills, sexual behavior, sexual health, and society and culture. Grounded in a holistic view of sexuality, Our Whole Lives not only provides facts about anatomy and human development, but also helps participants clarify their values, build interpersonal skills, and understand the spiritual, emotional, and social aspects of sexuality.

Starting Sunday, January 13, OWL will present weekly workshops focusing on junior highaged students through the end of the month at the SVUUS campus, 6876 S. Highland Dr., Cottonwood Heights.

The OWL for Junior High workshops will cover 25 subject matters over the course, such as “What is Sexuality?”, “Body Image”, Relationship Skills”, “Consent Education”, and “Communicating with a Sexual Partner”.

OWL asks for a donation of $50-80 to participate, all of which goes to toward materials and training of new facilitators of the program.

Additionally, registration is required and limited.

Contact Liz Martin, SVUUS director of Religious Education, at dre@ svuus.org or 801-604-2973 to register.

Attendance at the parent orientation on the opening day, January 13, is mandatory for your child to participate, and at that time we will collect detailed information and donations. For more information visit uua.org/ re/owl.

10 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

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Issue 291 | JANUARY 3, 2019

Equality Utah releases video on conversion therapy

As a launch to start the conversation on legislation to ban anti-LGBT conversion therapy in the state, Equality Utah released a five-minute video of the stories of several who have gone through it.

Narrated mostly by Justin Utley, an out singer-songwriter born and raised in West Valley City, Utah, the video touches on the harm done by such therapies.

“For my birthday today, all I ask is for you to take 5 minutes of your day and watch this. And #share it,” Utley posted on his Facebook Page.

“I am #bornperfect. I am not a victim. I am a survivor,” he continued. I am standing with Equality Utah to help end this debunked, disproved, and psychologically abusive therapy in Utah in its various forms. I ask you to join me in this effort.

Before any more half lies are sold as truth, before any more spirits and hearts are broken, more families divided, or before we lose one more beautiful young life to the silence of a statistic.

Equality Utah has called their drafted legislation, “Ethical Therapy for Minors Act,” and will have it introduced at the 2019 Legislative Session that begins in January.

“Conversion therapy is a form of psychotherapy with the objective of changing sexual orientation,” Jerry Buie of Pride Counseling says in the video. “In many cases, the conversion therapist or psychoanalytical approach to this may be to deconstruct the family relationships and to get people to look at hidden motives about why they might eroticize people from the same sex.”

Other people’s stories are also shown in the video, including Curtis Simmons who was told he’d had a traumatic event in his life, Stephanie Goodfellow was told she didn’t have a strong role model in her life but did have strong female role models, Max Benson who was told his theater and music focus were not masculine enough and he should try basketball, Josh Burningham who was given several reasons and told if those things hadn’t

happened he wouldn’t be gay.

Utley says that he believes the psychologist planted false memories that he’d been abused in his childhood.

Stories of “holding therapy,” where men would physically hold one another to show that male-male touch didn’t have to be sexual, were told. Goodfellow talks of electro-shock therapy as she was forced to watch lesbian porn.

Jason Lindow talked of how therapists told him they would dismantle him and put him back together, since “the pieces weren’t fitting.”

Utley talked about thoughts of suicide, which ended up being so strong that

he called his mother to meet him at a hospital. He arrived to find she had been involved in an automobile accident.

The video is very poignant and heart-wrenching. Arturo Fuentes talked about his wish to “stop existing” during his therapy. Lindow talks about an attempt to use sleeping pills to either make “it all be over, or I just wouldn’t wake up.”

Utley ends the video with the hope that, if someone can’t see the silver lining, that they will make one.

The Utah Legislative Session runs January 28 through March 14. Drafts of the bill are not yet available to the public. Q The video is available at bit.ly/UtleyVid

Two gay men to challenge Biskupski for SL Mayor; Arlyn Bradshaw to run for McAdams’ seat So far, three gay men and a lesbian will be on the ballot in 2019 in mayoral races for Salt Lake City and Salt Lake County.

As we reported in October, openly gay Salt Lake City Councilman and Utah AIDS Foundation Executive Director Stan Penfold will run for Salt Lake City Mayor against incumbent lesbian mayor Jacki Biskupski.

On Dec. 10, outgoing Sen. Jim Dabakis threw his hat in the ring with an “I’m in” Facebook Live video.

Dabakis said twice that he’s not “running against anybody,” but “I’m running for my vision and my view of the city.”

Dabakis released the results of a poll he commissioned showing he is currently in the lead with 27 percent to Biskupski’s 21 percent if the election were to be held today, though 42 percent said they were undecided. Penfold and Latino business-

man David Ibarra received four and three percent, respectively.

The poll showed that Biskupski leads in name recognition at 77 percent to Dabakis’ 71 percent. Penfold has 20 percent name recognition and Ibarra has 24.

Dabakis, however, led in favorability, with a 68 percent having a favorable perception of him. Biskupski had a 54 percent total favorability rating, Penfold 51 percent and Ibarra 52 percent.

Salt Lake County Mayor Ben McAdams resigned after being elected to the U.S. House of Representatives. Openly gay county councilman Arlyn Bradshaw announced Dec. 10 that he would run for the seat.

Fellow council person Jenny Wilson, who ran for U.S. Senate this year, and Congressional candidate Shireen Ghorbani have also announced they will run. Q

JANUARY 3, 2019 |

Issue 291 | Qsaltlake.com

FEATURE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 11

TO WEST WENDOVER, Nevada Featuring the Matrons of Mayhem NEXT BUS:

Sat. January 12

Tickets $25 or

BigGayFunBus.com or 801-997-9763 x2

or cash-only at Club Try-Angles during normal hours

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12 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | YEAR IN REVIEW

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 291 | JANUARY 3, 2019

Year in Review:

What the Celebs Said INTERVIEWS BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

Cher

once jumped out of a bathroom window with her gay friend to escape the police. And if you also didn’t know that you mean as much to her as she means to you, well, now you do. The gay icon of all gay icons expressed just that (see her heartfelt quote below) when she called me in September while promoting her 26th (!!) album, Dancing Queen.

Other highlights from this year’s interviews with LGBTQ-identifying and -adjacent Hollywood notables: Anna Kendrick opened up about being sexually fluid, Will & Grace stars Eric McCormack and Sean Hayes chatted about the show’s revival, and powerhouse actress Viola Davis reflected on her queer evolution.

“It’s like your queer uncle that was marching back in ’78: Maybe he doesn’t have the loud voice, maybe he can’t march as fast now, but he is still just as important.”

– Eric McCormack on the Will & Grace revival

“Do I care anymore about mass appeal? Do I care about universality if it’s not moving people?”

—lesbian musician Brandi Carlile, the most nominated female at this year’s Grammys

“I think I haven’t had that emotional love for a lady, which isn’t saying it could never happen to me, but I think I’m more of an Emily than a Stephanie.”

—Anna Kendrick, who played opposite Blake Lively’s sexually fluid Emily in A Simple Favor

“There’s been sometimes where I was just, you know, heartbroken about things, but it always gives you hope when there are people who think that you’re cute and worthwhile and an artist.”

—Cher on her LGBTQ fans

“If the people are listening to you, you should say something worth hearing.”

—Jussie Smollett

“Even as a 13-year-old, I saw my friends be conflicted with their sexuality and religion and I was thinking, ‘OK, something’s wrong here.’”

—Dan Reynolds, Imagine Dragons frontman

“At the time, there was that kind of question when you’d go into the audition: ‘Are you comfortable kissing a guy?’ ‘Yeah, of course.’”

– Justin Theroux on playing gay in the late ’90s

PHOTOS: MACHADO CICALA (CHER), MITCHELL HAASETH/NBC (ADAM RIPPON) AND KATHCLICK (VIOLA DAVIS).

“I was always me, but I didn’t always own it. And when I owned it, that’s when I found that I was my strongest.”

– Adam Rippon

“I just wanted to be a beacon for moms who are confused…”

—Jennifer Garner on playing the mother of a gay son in Love, Simon

“That was a first for me. I can’t say that I’ve walked in on any gay orgies in the past.”

– Margot Robbie on the gay orgy in The Wolf of Wall Street

“Who knows how and why and who you pick as your friends, but it’s usually me and all my lovely, dear gay friends that I’ve had forever.”

—Melissa McCarthy

“However you define yourself or don’t define yourself, you should be able to do that with total freedom.”

—Antoni Porowski, Queer Eye star

“If you’re queer, your subjectivity is not in the margins — it’s front and center for the life you’re leading.

But mainstream stories have pushed queer stories into the margins of storytelling…”

—Rachel Weisz, star of two lesbian-led films this year, Disobedience and The Favourite

JANUARY 3, 2019 |

Issue 291 | Qsaltlake.com

“There are people on all spectrums of human behavior in the gay community, just like there are people on all spectrums of human behavior in the straight community, so I nix that and I say ‘bye’ to that — I say, ‘bye, Felicia!’ — because that doesn’t make any sense to me.”

– Sean Hayes on dismissing those who say Jack is too flamboyant

“So, the thought of going to a program like the one in the film at that crucial, vulnerable moment and being told, ‘No, this is 100 percent back on you, and you’re filling a God-shaped hole in your life with these tendencies’ was one of the most harmful and hurtful things that I can imagine.”

—Troye Sivan on his role in Boy Erased

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 13

QSaltLake replaces the trees we use.

Twice.

The paper mill we buy our paper from plants a new tree for every tree they use. But that wasn’t enough for us.

We have partnered with the National Forest Foundation to plant an additional tree for every tree used to produce QSaltLake Magazine.

So, for every tree we use, TWO trees are planted.

Fires, insects and disease outbreaks are jeopardizing the majestic trees that grow in our forests from Maine to California. That’s why we have joined the National Forest Foundation’s ambitious effort to plant 50 million trees across our National Forests by 2023.

The National Forest Foundation is investing in healthy forests for today and for future generations. With QSaltLake’s help, they will restore tens of thousands of acres of wildlife habitat, from the longleaf pine forests of Florida to the cedar groves of Alaska.

“I have to say I loved him, so I felt it was on me to shift my thinking and it was up to me to understand him.”

—Viola Davis on getting acquainted with the LGBTQ community through her friend Slim

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14 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FEATURE

Creep of the Year:

Donald Trump

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 291 | JANUARY 3, 2019

JANUARY 3, 2019 |

Issue 291 | Qsaltlake.com

BY D’ANNE WITKOWSKI

Hello there.

Congratulations. If you’re reading this that means you lived through another year of President Donald Trump.

As I write this there are so many scandals and crimes unfolding that I honestly can’t keep them all straight.

The Defense Secretary has resigned, Trump wants to take away food assistance from poor people, we’ve pulled out of Syria apparently without any kind of plan, Putin is talking about nuclear war, Trump is fixing to shut down the government if he doesn’t get funding for his stupid border wall, Michael Cohen is going to jail, and Trump is clamoring to shut down the Russian investigation.

It’s amazing, and alarming, how numb we as a country have gotten to constant scandals and flagrant incompetence.

But no matter what happens, Trump’s supporters will stand by their man. Because they are the worst. And he is the worst. And they have found each other. It’s a love story like no other. But instead of running through a field in slow motion while violin music plays, it’s Trump on a golf cart puttering through a hell scape of burning crosses and swastikas toward a crowd of white people in MAGA hats while a chorus of thousands of babies crying and begging for their families plays on a loop.

Ugh. I hate it so much. 2020 can’t come fast enough.

And yet. So much more damage will be done between now and then. No matter who becomes president next, there is going to be a lot of work to do.

The amount of damage Trump and his administration has done to LGBTQ people is huge. Transgender people have been their favorite target. Trump is trying to roll back every gain that trans folks made under President Obama. We’ve seen direct attacks on transgender service members, transgender students, and even transgender prisoners.

You’ll recall that Trump attempted to tweet trans service members out of the military because he said the country just couldn’t afford all of these trans troops mooching off of Uncle Sam for their health care (and by health care Trump was likely only thinking “sex change operations” because he is callous and dumb).

But wanting to come between trans folk and health care wasn’t limited to the enlisted. The Trump administration also worked to roll back protections from discrimination by health care providers.

Then there was the scraping of rules put in place during Obama that allowed trans prisoners to be housed

YEAR IN REVIEW | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 15

in facilities that aligned with their gender identity in order to protect them from sexual and physical assault.

And, of course, they also scrapped the Obama Administration’s guidance for schools about LGBTQ kids, guidance that was put in place to help a population of young people who are often the most vulnerable, especially in areas that lack a certain je ne sais quoi (a.k.a. diversity).

Perhaps Trump’s biggest kick to LGBTQ people was his appointment, and the Senate’s confirmation, of Neil Gorsuch and Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court, not to mention all of the lower courts that are being stacked with right-wing judges hostile to LGBTQ rights. This will shape how the law treats, and mistreats, LGBTQ people for at least a generation.

Which is, of course, the point. Reshaping the courts has always been the goal of right-wing conservatives.

And to their credit they have never taken their eye off of that prize. Overturning Roe v. Wade and, more recently, unraveling marriage equality, is something they want done by any means necessary.

Which is why they have embraced the moral shit show that is Donald Trump, some even equating Trump with Jesus himself.

You can pay to have sex with porn stars, cheat on all of your wives, swindle people out of money, and lie constantly, but as long as you’re willing to make sure poor women can’t get abortions and gay guys can’t say “I do” after tongue kissing each other, then praise be hallelujah!

I know a lot of people are hoping that Robert Mueller will swoop in and save us from President Ignoramus.

But that’s really wishful thinking. It’s dangerous thinking, too, because it inspires inaction and complacency.

The truth is, the only person who can save us is us.

This means voting, but that’s the bare minimum. We need to put our time and money behind candidates who reject the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Republican agenda.

We saw some good things happen in 2018, like Democrats taking the U.S. House. But things will hardly be smooth sailing. I fully expect House Dems to give Trump hell, but Trump will no doubt lash back harder than ever before. If he’s going down he’ll take the whole country with him.

2019 is going to be a hell of a ride. Buckle up. Q D’Anne Witkowski is a poet, writer and comedian living in Michigan with her wife and son. She has been writing about LGBT politics for over a decade.

Follow her on Twitter @MamaDWitkowski.

16 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

views

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 291 | JANUARY 3, 2019

quotes “I fully realize that a person who stands for what I stand for, an activist, a gay activist, becomes the target or the potential target for a person who is insecure, terrified, afraid, or very disturbed with themselves.”

—Harvey Milk

“I never thought I was the right person to win this award, because I’m just a little bit out there. I’m the girl who rode the cannon.”

—Cher, in a Billboard interview about her Kennedy honor

“Freedom is too enormous to be slipped under a closet door.”

– Harvey Milk

“I was raised in a conservative environment growing up, and my favorite songs helped me figure out who I was.

Hearing people like Tori Amos and Rufus Wainwright as a closeted 13-year-old boy, I was like, ‘holy shit, I am okay.’”

– openly gay pianist Jon Fuller

“Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each New Year find you a better man.”

– Benjamin Franklin

“The Pope should be more concerned about paedophiles in the Clergy, rather than gay men.”

— Eros Hazel Gloreen

JANUARY 3, 2019 |

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 17

Issue 291 | Qsaltlake.com

who’s your daddy

Nope, no wife here

BY CHRISTOPHER KATIS

Editor’s note: This column was originally published in 2015.

The second

Who’s Your Daddy column I ever wrote focused on what it’s like to be a dad alone out in public with the kids. Since mom is nowhere to be found, presumably well-meaning people offer their sympathies or, in worst-case scenarios, their unrequested assistance. I once literally sat with my jaw dropped to the table, as a waitress decided to wipe a baby Gus’ face.

Nothing like that has happened to me recently, but now I find myself facing an entirely different set of awkward questions ... all about my wife.

The first time it happened I nearly died laughing because my presumed wife was my niece Lyndsey. We’re close, but not that close. Since I’m not that much older, and with blonde hair and blue eyes she looks more like her mom than her dad’s Greek side, it was an honest — albeit creepy — mistake.

But not nearly as creepy as a few weeks ago when I was with the boys and someone from church asked me where my wife was. Creepy, because it dawned on me that the woman inquiring about my “little missus” was asking about my sister. Yuck.

I really didn’t know how to respond. So I simply blurted out, “I don’t have a wife.

Nope, no wife here, never has been.”

Then last weekend Niko and I were at one of his friend’s birthday party. As the kid opened his presents, I admitted I had no idea what is in the box from us. Standing next to me, an older woman burst into laughter and said, “Aren’t you glad for wives?!

Aren’t they just the best things ever?”

I politely smiled, while the kid’s dad tried his damndest not to spit his beer across the room.

This got me to thinking about whether other gay dads had similar experiences. Were they too being quizzed about their wives?

Sure enough.

So I asked how they responded.

My friend Weston Clark, host of The Progress Report radio show on AM 630, told me people are always curious to see a dad out-and-about in the middle of the day with kids.

And when he tells them he’s a stay-at-home dad to 3-yearold son, Xander, and newborn daughter, Zoe, people immediately ask him what his wife does for work.

It can be awkward, but he simply replies, “Husband, actually. And he’s an attorney.”

And the idea that no dad can be complete without a wife isn’t a Utah phenomenon either. My friend Peaches in Seattle hears it all the time,

mostly at the park. Usually he just says his sons are part of a two-dad family, and leaves it at that.

But one Saturday, while at breakfast with the boys, and some other two-dad families, a nice woman stopped by their table and announced, “Oh! Dads’ day out! How nice.” The men all looked at one another amusedly until Peaches finally said, “Lady, every day is dads’ day out.”

I cannot believe that any woman — lesbian or straight — out with her kids at the

park, a birthday party, or a restaurant would ever be asked about her husband. So, why is it OK to ask men?

What really surprises me is, in this day and age of divorce, single parenthood, and “blended” families, that anyone would presume anyone else’s marital status. Or care about it for that matter.

The next time someone asks about my wife, maybe I’ll just say, “He’s a 6-foot-tall, little league all-star pitcher, who always beats me at tennis, and refuses to take my name!” Q

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18 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

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Issue 291 | JANUARY 3, 2019

lambda lore

In my life

BY BEN WILLIAMS

Editor’s note: This is a column written by Ben in 2008 and has been updated just for timeline. the most beautiful songs ever written is “In My Life” by the Beatles. I think all Gay people of my generation can especially relate to the sentiments in the verse “Some are dead and some are living... In my life I’ve loved them all,” in regards to our own friends and lovers. When I look around our community and remember those who are missing from it, my mind often recalls this haunting tune and it buoys me up somehow.

I’ve recently taken some time to pause and reflect on my own life. Often we get so caught up in the deadlines of our lives that we don’t take care of ourselves until something kind of snaps. One Fall I didn’t quite snap, but I became incredibly sad, crying for no apparent reason, not realizing that my soul was grieving because my body and mind kept racing on at a steady clip.

Several years ago, two people — who were as diametrically opposed as two people could be — passed away by their own hands.

They were, however, similar in that they were incredibly opinionated people who knew how to roll up their sleeves and go to work.

They both, in their own ways, implemented in our community their visions of making the world more just and more fabulous. And both of them were friends of mine.

One of the most gifted and noble women I had the honor of knowing was KATHY WORTHINGTON. Those who knew her and who are reading this are nodding their heads in agreement. Very few altruistic people exist on this planet, but Kathy was one of them. She was a quiet giant, rarely calling

One of

attention to herself and when the limelight was focused on her she was genuinely embarrassed. There is a whole generation of women in this community who knew her and loved her through the Womyn’s Community News and the First Thursdays Women’s Group.

She loved people and hated injustice, and if she ever thought them, I never heard her say an unkind word about anyone in our community. But of all those she loved, she loved Sara Hamlin the most and the pain of losing her never diminished until the day she chose to rejoin her. When Michael Aaron called me from the UAF Oscar Night to tell me of her passing it felt like a mighty redwood had fallen, never to be replaced in my lifetime.

Then there was CHAD KELLER. Chad was one of the most vocal, passionate human beings I’ve ever had the good fortune of knowing. He had every human passion magnified to the nth degree. He was vicious. He was vivacious.

He was opinionated and he was compassionate. He lived life on his own terms in a “devil may care” buoyancy that seemed almost unfathomable. If you knew Chad Keller (and anyone in active leadership knew Chad) he was either a genius or the bane of your existence. And someone once called him the “most creative alcoholic” in the community. Whether you loved him or hated him, Chad was a force to be reckoned with and he was no “barstool” critic as someone also disparagingly called him.

He was a gladiator, not a spectator and when his health failed to the point that life held no more pleasures, he went away. Another redwood giant gone.

However what finally shut me down was learning of the death of my first true love, JOHN CUN-

NINGHAM. No, he was not a Gay activist, and I doubt if he ever strove to make the world a better place, but in 1969 (my senior year in high school) I fell in love with him in a time when boys were not allowed to fall in love with other boys. So instead I became his best friend, attending graduation together, getting him to go to college with me, writing term papers for him to keep his draft deferment up, all the while never even holding his hand or telling another soul my dark secret, my shame.

Then in the summer of 1970, no longer able to contain the ache of the facade of simple friendship, I told John I loved him. It was the most awful indignity I could have placed on him — a queer coming on to him. Stunned, he told me he didn’t love me and in time he joined the army to avoid being drafted. I never saw John again. I was lost and soul-weary without John so I joined the Mormon church to cure me, made my way to Utah, and even married a woman as advised. But in my heart I knew that John would always be my first love and my last.

I also knew that no one would ever tell me when John passed away. So morbidly, I suppose, I would check the social security death indexes, once or twice a year, like a casualty list, and last September my worst fears were confirmed. John was dead at the age of 56. Unlike Kathy or Chad I will never know how he died.

California death records are sealed only to next of kin and domestic partners. I am neither. I am just the man who loved him and will my entire life.

“Though I know I’ll never lose affection for people and things that went before I know I’ll often stop and think about them, in my life I love you more.” Q

JANUARY 3, 2019 |

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 19

Issue 291 | Qsaltlake.com

mister manners

Keep on track

Everything from Angels to Zen

BY ROCK MAGEN

With

January resolutions already in full swing, the largest obstacle is staying motivated. What we don’t understand about being motivated is that it means getting ourselves to do the right thing for the wrong reasons.

Being motivated by a “right reason” isn’t effective. We need to realize that motivation and joy are intertwined, then learn how to tap into that in the best possible way – which means finding something in the short term that will motivate us to behave. Longterm happiness and well-being aren’t enough to establish and enforce effective habits.

The most common resolution is traditionally centered around the gym and increasing physical health. It’s very hard to find true, deep joy in exercising, but that doesn’t mean anyone should give up. People generally want to exercise several times a week, but it can be difficult to keep track of that. What I’ve found is that it’s necessary to dedicate time for some sort of activity every day. Sometimes it’ll be vigorous, and sometimes it will be walking or another light activity. A habit becomes much easier to create when it’s part of the schedule for a long time and not just a dozen days a month.

When I started running a few years ago, someone suggested I allocate 30 minutes to it — if I was tired, I walked, if I had more energy, I started running. The time, and not the distance, became a benchmark.

This routine allowed me to develop a good habit over time.

We all have a lot of good intentions. Turning good intentions into something we act on turns them into something larger and more meaningful.

Let’s continue looking at running. A soon as you start running, you want it to be over. But no matter how much you try to hurry it, it takes time. In business and fitness, it takes time to build something great, and you can’t cut corners – you have to start at mile 1 and there are no shortcuts to success.

Being at the gym gives you a lot of downtime to think – to deal with pain, joy, and all the emotions in between. It makes you commit, too. And it makes you finish: It doesn’t care how you feel that day, whether you are in a good or bad mood. It requires your all. When I’m running, I have to sift through all my thoughts to clear my head and I often find myself a victim of negative self-talk. I tell myself that I should stop, I should quit, I should just walk.

In those moments, I ask myself, “Am I quitter? Am I going to let this 30 minutes beat me?”

The answer is always “No.” Once I verbalize that in my mind, I find a way to muscle through it. It’s the same way in life. Your back may be against the wall, but I’m confident that you will find a way to push forward. Don’t allow yourself to give up. Keep pushing forward.

We all look forward to seeing your results! Q

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A DiverseCity Series writing group A program of Salt Lake Community College’s Community Writing Ctr. The group meets the 2nd and 4th Monday of each month, 6:30-8 pm, Salt Lake City Library Square, 210 E. 400 South, Ste. 8, Salt Lake.

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Issue 291 | JANUARY 3, 2019

Mass Resistance

BY D’ANNE WITKOWSKI

Just about

every LGBTQ person has a story about something that confirmed for them that they were LGBTQ. For me it was Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman. That is, you might say, my root.

For the next generation of LGBTQ folks their root will be Drag Queen Story Hour at their local library.

A whole host of kids who would have otherwise been 100 percent heterosexual and have a rigidly traditional masculine or feminine gender identity that matches 100 percent with their genitals will now grow up to be some variety of gender nonconforming homo. Ugh, and they’ll probably love books and reading, too.

Thankfully a group that calls itself Mass Resistance is rising from the depths to defeat the drag queen story hour menace and make sure children are trained up to be bigots just like them.

Yes, I used the “B” word, which I know Mass Resistance would take offense to.

As they write on their website, “It’s becoming common for the media or left-wing public officials attempt to marginalize any group of people who oppose the liberal agenda and support religious values by publicly calling them a ‘hate group.’” MR calls this “childish and offensive.”

Well, I call Mass Resistance a hate group. And I’d love to attend a Drag Queen Story

Hour. Call me childish, I guess.

Mass Resistance’s latest focus is on Michigan, my home state, where they are forming a chapter. And MR has a pretty interesting view of how LGBTQ friendly Michigan is.

“The LGBT Movement has been plowing ahead at the local level, and even the state-level in Michigan,” the MR website reads. “Republican party members have developed a pro-gay attitude and even reach out to ‘gay’ groups, we’ve been told. Sadly, this even includes former Michigan GOP Chair and current Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos.” So Michigan Republicans are on some kind of pro-equality mission” I think someone forgot to tell them. I’ve lived in Michigan my whole life and I can tell you that the GOP isn’t pro-LGBTQ, and Betsy DeVos sure isn’t leading any pride parades.

“Thankfully,” the MR website continues, “Michigan pro-family activists have held back most of these changes, but as is happening across the country, the homosexual-transgender ideology is still making headway on the Wolverine State.”

Case in point: Mass Resistance’s first target: shutting down Drag Queen Storytime at the Huntington Woods Library.

“Drag Queen Storytime captures the imagination and play of the gender fluidity of childhood and gives kids glamorous, positive, and un-

abashedly queer role models,” the library’s website reads. “In spaces like this, kids are able to see people who defy rigid gender restrictions and imagine a world where people can present as they wish, where dress up is real.”

And the theme of storytime is “I Like Me Just the Way I Am!” Now, to me, this sounds amazing. But to the hateful folks at Mass Resistance, it sounds downright apocalyptic.

“Drag Queen Story Hour is nothing more than a subtle push of the harmful and immoral LGBT ideas,” MR warns in a poorly written message.

“This agenda is anti-family, anti-life, anti-biology, and it is coming for your children!”

That doesn’t appear to bother the parents who bring their kids to the DQS. As one parent told the local news about his 2- and 3-year-olds, “We just wanted them to have these early memories of experiencing diversity as a social norm.”

Mass Resistance believes that this parent is committing child abuse. They also have no idea what the difference is between being transgender and drag queen performance.

They are very confused.

In an email to the library MR Organization Director

Arthur Schaper wrote, “The very idea of allowing adult, perverse entertainment into a public library and offering it to preschoolers — it is beyond outrageous.”

I’d have to agree, if that’s what was happening. Drag shows can definitely get pretty raunchy. But this isn’t a drag show. This is a person in a costume reading a kids’ book to kids.

In a local news story about the library event there is a photo of a child with fairly long hair who is wearing pajamas with footballs on them. No doubt someone is holding this picture up at a Mass Resistance chapter meeting screaming, “Is this a boy or a girl? How can we know for sure? CURSE YOU DRAG QUEENS!” And hey, I didn’t even know that there was a Drag Queen storytime at a library near me, so I thank MR for letting me know. My son’s a little too old for storytime, but you can bet your Mass that we’re going to be at the next one.

Because you know what’s a real drag? Hatred and illiteracy. Drag queens reading to kids combats both. Q D’Anne Witkowski is a poet, writer and comedian living with her wife and son. She has been writing about LGBT politics for over a decade. Follow her on Twitter @ MamaDWitkowski.

JANUARY 3, 2019 |

Issue 291 | Qsaltlake.com

staffbox ASSISTANT editor Tony Hobday

NATIONAL NEWS editor Craig Ogan designer Christian Allred sales Ken Stowe, 801-997-9763 x1 contributors Joshua Adamson Pickett, Diane Anderson-Minshall, Chris Azzopardi, Paul Berge, Jeff Berry, Paul Campbell, Laurie Bennett-Cook, Stephen Dark, Jennifer Dobner, Mikki Enoch, Jack Fertig, Greg Fox, Charles Lynn Frost, Oriol Gutierrez Jr., John Hales, Ryan Haymore, Tony Hobday, Joshua Jones, Christopher Katis, Rock Magen, Sam Mills, Craig Ogan, Mikey Rox, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Gregg Shapiro, Petunia Pap Smear, Steven Petrow, Ed Sikov, JoSelle Vanderhooft, Ben ­Williams, D’Anne ­Witkowski distribution Bradley Jay Crookston,

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sex and salt lake city

Are sex trafficking laws really in our best interest?

publisher/editor Michael Aaron

sales@qsaltlake.com

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 21

It’s a

BY DR. LAURIE BENNETT-COOK

winter morning in Salt Lake City. Yesterday, it was in the teens. Upon seeing the snow, I thought about the signing of FOSTA/SESTA into law and how many more people will have to take to the street because of it.

In case you haven’t heard about the passing of FOSTA/SESTA, let me offer a bit of an explanation.

FOSTA (Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act) and SESTA (Stop Enabling Sex Traffickers Act) are a blend two bills framed to the public as a way to come down harder on those who are involved in sex trafficking. While we can all agree that trafficking another human being and forcing someone into a life of sexual engagement is horrible, opposers to the bill warn there will be more people put at risk than helped.

FOSTA/SESTA works by making various websites criminally liable for what their users do and say on their online platforms and not the users themselves. What’s more, the law is retroactive. Just how far back isn’t clear.

Sex trafficking, sex work, and prostitution are terms often interchangeable.

While trafficking and sex work are forms of prostitution, there are stark differences.

Trafficking is nonconsensual coercion and exploitation of forced sexual labor. Sex work, on the other hand, is the consensual engagement of transactional sexual interaction. A trafficked person has no agency over their body or decision-making about what sexual activities take place or with whom. Sex workers have complete agency over their bodies and choose who they interact with and what degree of sexual interaction takes place.

As someone who has been a sex worker, and since becoming a doctoral level sex educator and sexuality counselor, who also happens to work with victims of trafficking, I feel qualified to offer my opinion about this law.

Until FOSTA/SESTA, sex workers were able to use the internet to screen clients and consult with peers. When Redbook

closed down in 2014, there was an almost immediate surge in street work by nearly 20 percent. Sexual assaults also increased, as did STIs. Sex work didn’t end, nor will it. By removing the Internet as a resource, more sex workers turn to the streets, thus increasing their chances of harm, assault, and possibly trafficking.

Additionally, tracing trafficking will decrease as defeat increases the Internet trail.

Those trafficked can sometimes interact online with someone who can help them.

While they’re rarely the ones posting the ads online, and having someone censoring their interactions, the possibility of someone realizing it’s trafficking is greater.

With this law, they’re even less likely to reach out for help.

To add another layer of concern, most people sexually assaulted have a difficult time reporting it, and feeling supported and validated in general. It’s especially true of those who do sex work. With another level of criminality on individual sexual behavior, fewer people will report crimes against them for fear of liability.

Opposers are also quick to bring to light how FOSTA/SESTA will hinder free speech. Because the law now holds the website liable, and not the user, it’s plausible that various online communities may be scared into screening the speech of their users.

It’s also likely that already marginalized voices will become silenced when heavy restrictions are in place. Since the passing of FOSTA/SESTA, Craigslist has removed their personals section; Backpage has shut down; there’s talk of online dating apps such as Tinder and Adam for Adam shutting down; and, Google Drive has removed much of its adult content.

Trafficking is horrible, and most people want to do whatever possible to prevent the harm of another person. I don’t believe this is the way. Hopefully, with this knowledge, we can open up a conversation about potential solutions that genuinely offer harm reduction. Q

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CONCERTS

It has been said that out musician Jon Fuller‘s theatrical piano-pop is derived from the singer-songwriter tradition of the 1990s, that swath of pop that melded instrumental virtuosity and thoughtful and confessional lyrics with sophisticated compositions. His songs brim with imaginative rhyme schemes, thoughtful word selection, and interestingly crafted phrases. He sounds amazing and just looking at him gets my imagination brimming with interestingly crafted…well, positions.

The cellists of the Utah Symphony will perform a free concert of the works by Villa-Lobos, Piazzolla, Bach, and more in a cello-tastic evening of music featuring: Rainer Eudeikis, Matthew Johnson, John Eckstein, Walter Haman, Andrew Larson, Anne Lee, Louis Philippe Robillard, Kevin Shumway, and Pegsoon Whang.

MONDAY — JON FULLER

Tony’s Gay Agenda 7

BY TONY HOBDAY

Hotel RL, 161 W. 600 South, 6 p.m.

Free

— CELLISTS OF THE UTAH SYMPHONY IN CONCERT

Libby Gardner Concert Hall, 1375 Presidents Cir., UofU, 7:30 p.m. Free

DRAG SHOWS

The Miss Great Beehive State Pageant system honors the long, rich tradition of drag artists in Utah.

It’s primary goals include, but not limited to, honoring the legacy of the generations of Utah queens that pioneered local drag, create new standards of excellence for this liberating method of self expression, and most importantly, to be a platform for the betterment of our community. It sounds beautiful and inspired, but acrylic fingernails-crossed that Steve Harvey isn’t the host.

SUNDAY — MISS GREAT BEEHIVE STATE PAGEANT

6

Metro Music Hall, 615 W. 100 South, 7 p.m.. Tickets $15, ticketfly.com

FUN RECURRING EVENTS

If you don’t know The Matrons of Mayhem by now you’re not missing out on much. Tehehe! I should lay off the spiked eggnog from Christmas, it may have gone bad.

Anyhoo, Sunday Brunch and Bingo is a popular staple in the community and always a riot.

And if you do know about the Big Gay Fun Bus by now you’re probably in debt you gambler’s anonymous wannabes. Ha! Sorry, I just switched to the spiked fruitcake left over from Christmas. This raucous trip to Wendover draws so many homos, it’s a good bet you’ll have a gay ol’ time.

The Utah Gay Rodeo Association Chowdown always wrangles in a fabulous group of guys in chaps and gals with lassos. Just FYI, don’t expect leaving with being branded at least three times. Giddy up!

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SUNDAY — SUNDAY BRUNCH & BINGO WITH THE MATRONS OF MAYHEM

Off Trax Cafe, 259 W. Harvey Milk Blvd., 11 a.m. brunch, 1 p.m. bingo. Bingo cards $5 each

SATURDAY — BIG GAY FUN BUS TO WEST WENDOVER Club Try-Angles, 251 W. Harvey Milk Blvd., noon9:30 p.m. Tickets $25, biggayfunbus.com SUNDAY — UGRA CHOWDOWN Sun-Trapp, 102 S. 600 West, 4:30 p.m. $5 donation

SPECIAL ENGAGEMENTS

A longtime fabulous Utah favorite, DeeDee Darby-Duffin returns in a new concert Backstage at the Grand. She’s been a staple as far back (that I recall) as the 2010 Different = Amazing benefit show, to as recent (that I recall) as the 2017 Women’s Redrock Music Festival.

Enjoy a night of music that will make you laugh, cry, ponder and wonder as DeeDee takes you on a journey of Jazz, Rhythm & Blues, and Soul.

Enjoy a night of Leather Daddies and Disney Princesses at the Imperial Royal Court of Northern Utah diabetes fundraiser. The event is hosted by the Most Imperial Highnesses, Imperial Crown Prince and Princess XIX, Atticus and Emerald.

Voices Heard: #MeToo hosts 10 writers who take an assigned topic and write about events from their lives, stories that will leave you aching with truth, laughing your guts out, and feeling inspired. It’s a special fundraising event for the first time, in partnership with the Rape Recovery Center. The participating writers: Ellee Adams, Emily Bernath, Kellie Clement, Lauren Elkins, Megan Green, Liz Lambson, Anna F. Marasco, Cat Palmer, Regina Snape, and Crystal Young-Otterstrom.

THURSDAY — BACK TO BASICS WITH DEE-DEE DARBY-DUFFIN Grand Theatre, 1575 S. State St., 7:30 p.m, through Saturday. Tickets $10-20, grandtheatrecompany.com SATURDAY — LEATHER DADDIES & DISNEY PRINCESSES Roy Eagles, 5130 S. 1700 West, 8 p.m. Tickets $6 at the door MONDAY — VOICES HEARD: #METOO Sugar Space Arts Warehouse, 132 S. 800 West, 6:30 p.m. Tickets $16, eventbrite.com

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10 best queer pop culture moments

BY ROMEO SAN VICENTE

Is it

because we’re all swimming together in the toxic Trump pool that makes every new addition to the LGBTQ cultural canon feel like an act of rebellion? Probably. But even if we were living in a queer-friendly political era, 2018’s (they’re calling it #20GayTeen on the Internet, just FYI) pop culture output would still be impressive. And not just among ourselves – the mainstream took notice and we didn’t have to dilute or code ourselves to make a splash there.

The receipts: Pose on FX forever smashed ideas about how much trans is too much trans for one show. TV mogul Ryan Murphy stepped back, let transgender actors, writers and directors take over, and it made the show more true, heartfelt and emotional than we even dared to hope for. And over on Viceland, the documentary series My House went into the real 2018 ballroom scene and let audiences know exactly what has changed since Paris is Burning.

Janelle Monae’s “PYNK” and its accompanying video served as a deliriously gorgeous and hypnotic ode to women of color – both cis and trans – loving other women of color, and it turned into a launching pad for best friends Monae and Tessa Thompson coming out, Thompson as bisexual and Monae as pansexual. If you’re confused by the difference, there’s always Google.

1.

2.

PHOTO: JOJO WHILDEN/FX

3.

The Miseducation of Cameron Post and Boy Erased, together, formed one solid movie about the toxic world of anti-gay Evangelical conversion camps for LGBTQ young people. Miseducation had a queer director in Desiree Akhavan, which informed the film’s ability to get the anxiety and power of teenage desire just right, but Erased, based on author Garrard Conley’s lived experience in the church, dove deep into the terror and abuse of fundamentalist belief. See them both.

Broadway went Old School this year with revivals of Harvey Fierstein’s Torch Song Trilogy (closing in January of 2019 and beginning a national tour) and the groundbreaking drama The Boys In The Band, starring Jim Parsons.

They’re a reminder that within the lifespan of most members of Generation X, the American public’s perception of queer people has shifted in ways that make the word “dramatic” quite an understatement.

Love, Simon took heat for being about a relatively affluent suburban gay white boy, but as a mainstream multiplex entry with very long legs (its budget was somewhere around $15 million and over its run raked in over 65) this teenage coming out and coming-of-age story was the sweet John Hughes-esque comedy Hollywood hadn’t yet bothered to make.

Vida was the Starz network’s queer Latinx show you haven’t watched yet, but when you do it will become your very favorite thing. About two

4.

5.

6.

Mexican-American sisters in East Los Angeles, it’s a dramedy about identity and the making and breaking of family bonds.

Go stream it!

About a transgender woman going for and getting everything she knows she deserves in the face of much adversity, Chilean film A Fantastic Woman won the Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film and made a rising star of Daniela Vega.

Listen, we still like Queer Eye even if we think Tan’s fashion advice is a bit too transparently product placement for Bonobos and overly reliant on shirts that are only half tucked in (don’t blame France for it, dude). We’re into Jonathan’s gleefully defiant attack on the masc4masc aesthetic. All day. Every day.

Here for lesbian drama: Disobedience with Rachel Weisz and Rachel McAdams had the hottest sex, Skate Kitchen had better skateboard skills than Mid90s, Lizzie had the best violent attack on the patriarchy, and The Favourite had the fanciest, iciest, lady-on-lady seduction in the biggest royal costumes and tall wigs. All of them matter.

Haley Kiyoko was MTV’s Push Artist of the Year at the 2018 VMAs. Do you know her yet?

You will when you go watch her video for “What I Need,” which features queer singer Kehlani. Then you’ll wonder why this story of young women running away to be together wasn’t a feature-length film. Neither of these young ladies came to play, and you’ll soon be seeing and hearing more from both. Q

7.

8.

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OUR QUEER GUIDE For the 2019 Festival, 112 feature-length films have been selected, representing 33 countries and 45 first-time filmmakers. And here is our annual queer guide to the Sundance Film Festival — hosting screenings in Park City, Salt Lake City, and at Sundance Mountain Resort, from January 24–February 3.

U.S. DRAMATIC COMPETITION Presenting the world premieres of 16 narrative feature films, the Dramatic Competition offers festivalgoers a first look at groundbreaking new voices in American independent film. Fifty-three percent of the directors in this year’s U.S. Dramatic Competition are women; 41 percent are people of color; 18 percent identify as LGBT.

TO THE STARS

Under small-town scrutiny, a withdrawn farmer’s daughter forges an intimate friendship with a worldly but reckless new girl in 1960s Oklahoma. Cast: Kara Hayward, Liana Liberato, Jordana Spiro, Shea Whigham, Malin Akerman, Tony Hale. WORLD PREMIERE

WORLD PREMIERE

PREMIERES This is not Berlin MEXICO DIRECTOR: HARI SAMA, SCREENWRITERS: RODRIGO ORDÓÑEZ, HARI SAMA, MAX ZUNINO, PRODUCERS: ALE GARCÍA, ANTONIO URDAPILLETA, HARI SAMA, VERÓNICA VALADEZ P.

Animals After a decade of partying, Laura and Tyler’s friendship is strained by Laura’s new love and her focus on her novel. A snapshot of a modern woman with competing desires, at once a celebration of female friendship and an examination of the choices we make when facing a crossroads.Cast: Holliday Grainger, Alia Shawkat. WORLD PREMIERE

U.S.A. DIRECTOR: MATT TYRNAUER, PRODUCERS: MATT TYRNAUER, COREY REESER, MARIE BRENNER, ANDREA LEWIS

Awkward teenager Adam arrives to spend his final high school summer with his older sister, who has thrown herself into New York City’s lesbian and trans activist scene. Over

INDIE EPISODIC

Girls Weekend

Where’s My Roy Cohn?

U.S.A. DIRECTOR: RHYS ERNST, SCREENWRITER: ARIEL SCHRAG, PRODUCERS: HOWARD GERTLER, JAMES SCHAMUS

1986, Mexico City. Seventeen-year-old Carlos doesn’t fit in anywhere, not in his family nor with the friends he has chosen in school.

But everything changes when he is invited to a mythical nightclub where he discovers the underground nightlife scene: punk, sexual liberty, and drugs. Cast: Xabiani Ponce de León, José Antonio Toledano, Ximena Romo, Mauro Sánchez Navarro, Klaudia García, Marina de Tavira. WORLD PREMIERE

U.S. DOCUMENTARY COMPETITION

WORLD CINEMA DOCUMENTARY COMPETITION

Adam

WORLD CINEMA DRAMATIC COMPETITION

the summer, Adam and those around him experience love, friendship, and attendant hard truths in this coming-of-age comedy.

Cast: Nicholas Alexander, India Menuez, Leo Sheng, Chloe Levine, Margaret Qualley.

UNITED KINGDOM, IRELAND, AUSTRALIA DIRECTOR: SOPHIE HYDE, SCREENWRITER: EMMA JANE UNSWORTH, PRODUCERS: SARAH BROCKLEHURST, REBECCA SUMMERTON, CORMAC FOX, SOPHIE HYDE

U.S.A. DIRECTOR: MARTHA STEPHENS, SCREENWRITER: SHANNON BRADLEY-COLLEARY, PRODUCERS: KRISTIN MANN, LAURA D. SMITH, ERIK ROMMESMO

Issue 291 | JANUARY 3, 2019

Roy Cohn personified the dark arts of American politics, turning empty vessels into dangerous demagogues — from Joseph McCarthy to his final project, Donald J. Trump. This thriller-like expose connects the dots, revealing how a deeply troubled master manipulator shaped our current American nightmare. World Premiere

U.S.A. Director: Kyra Sedgwick, Creator: Ali Liebegott When a queer daughter returns home to Las Vegas for a “girls weekend” with her estranged homophobic sister and people-pleasing mother, her gun-toting dad lets it slip that her mother’s cancer is back with a vengeance, forcing her to decide whether or not she can rejoin her family. Cast: Ali Liebegott, Linda Lavin, Amy Landecker, Ken Jenkins. WORLD PREMIERE

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The Dress Up Gang UNITED STATES CREATORS: ROBB BOARDMAN, CORY LOYKASEK, DONNY DIVANIAN, EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: DAVE KNEEBONE, TIM HEIDECKER, ERIC WAREHEIM

Donny, a responsible adult with the innocence and outlook of a child, relies on guidance and life advice from his friend Cory, the dad-like thirtysomething who has been crashing on his couch for quite some time.

Cast: Donny Divanian, Cory Loykasek, Frankie Quinones, Andie MacDowell, Christian Duguay, Brent Weinbach. WORLD PREMIERE

Fran This Summer U.S.A. DIRECTOR AND SCREENWRITER: MARY EVANGELISTA

Teenage lovebirds Fran and Angie spend the summer at home while Fran begins their transition. They must face who and what they mean to each other when they visit the beach, their love on display for all to see.

Kado (A Gift) INDONESIA DIRECTOR AND SCREENWRITER: ADITYA AHMAD

Isfi can wear her comfortable pants among her male friends, but has to wear hijab to be accepted at Nita’s house. With two days until Nita’s birthday, all Isfi wants is to prepare the best gift in Nita’s room. U.S. PREMIERE

NEW FRONTIER EXHIBITIONS

Work In Progress U.S.A. CREATORS AND SCREENWRITERS: ABBY MCENANY, TIM MASON

After her therapist dies mid-session and she begins to date a trans man, Abby is forced to re-evaluate her life choices, her dating options and whether or not to confront the woman responsible for ‘ruining her life’: SNL’s Julia Sweeney. Cast: Abby McEnany, Theo Germaine, Karin Anglin, Celeste Pechous, Julia Sweeney, Alison Gates. WORLD PREMIERE

SPECIAL EVENTS

Now Apocalypse U.S.A. DIRECTOR: GREGG ARAKI, EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: GREGG ARAKI, GREGORY JACOBS, STEVEN SODERBERGH

Ulysses and his friends are trying to navigate Los Angeles, as they pursue love, sex and fame. Between dating app adventures, Ulysses grows increasingly troubled as foreboding dreams make him paranoid — or maybe he’s just smoking too much weed. Cast: Avan Jogia, Kelli Berglund, Beau Mirchoff, Roxane Mesquida. WORLD PREMIERE

Lavender U.S.A. DIRECTOR AND SCREENWRITER: MATTHEW PUCCINI

A young gay man grows increasingly entangled in the marriage of an older couple.

World Premiere. DAY ONE

INTERNATIONAL NARRATIVE SHORT FILMS

The (ART) oF BE(i)NG U.S.A. DIRECTOR AND SCREENWRITER: JB GHUMAN, JR., PRODUCER: JB GHUMAN, JR.

A visual-sonic journey meant to expand one’s consciousness and emotional capacity through hand-crafted art and multi-dimensional storytelling. Cast: Maraqueen Reznor, Jake Shears, iRAWniQ, JB Ghuman Jr., Mayhem Miller, Hillary Tuck.

Desires of the flesh BRAZIL DIRECTOR AND SCREENWRITER: RAFAELA CAMELO

Blessed be the Sunday, that it is the day to see Giovana. INTERNATIONAL PREMIERE

Belle of the Ball U.S.A. LEAD ARTISTS: RO HABER, SILAS HOWARD, PUSSYKREW, TWIGGY PUCCI GARCON, KEY COLLABORATORS: RENALDO MAURICE, KYA AZEEN MIZRAHI, ROUGE, SASCHKA UNSELD, JENNIFER TIEXIERA, JENNA VELEZ

A VR journey into a futuristic reimagined utopia of queer + trans family and dance made in collaboration with members of New York’s ballroom scene. Cast: Renaldo Maurice Tisci, Kya Azeen Mizrahi, Rouge, Jack Mizrahi, Sinia Reed, Jonovia Chase.

U.S. NARRATIVE SHORT FILMS

Docking CANADA DIRECTOR AND SCREENWRITER: TREVOR ANDERSON

Trevor reflects on his fear of dating.

WORLD PREMIERE

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Best Albums of 2018

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

10. Jussie Smollett, Sum of My Music No way Empire star Jussie Smollett was about to let a label — in his case, not just any label but Sony — stifle his musical ambitions. So he walked. Then he independently produced a stunning soul album called Sum of My Music.

Smollett’s buttery croon and barefaced vulnerability are served on a smoldering bed of R&B grooves that bend contemporary urban trends in exciting and sincere ways. Same-sex love is a liberating act of defiance on the intimate organ-droned “Freedom,” the precursor to “I Know My Name,” a spirited self-determination chant and proof that going his own way was, clearly, the way to go.

antidote for 2018. For it, the dancehall queen opened the blinds and let the light in on I Don’t Want: The Gold Fire Sessions. Deploying an intoxicating rush of reggae-tinged bliss on playful escapade “Crashing Your Party” and cosmic bop “Valley of the Dolls,” Santigold’s hallucinatory medicine goes down so easy you just might forget the sting of this last year.

8. Christine and the Queens, Chris Gender constructs bend and break in the glistening queerpop heaven of French artist Hélöise Letissier’s Chris. Rich in the singer-songwriter’s sense of self, the result of her own exploration of gender and its place in society, the subversive and complex Chris flexes a fully formed and thriving persona, where ambition, sexuality and electric pop-funk sizzlers are well within her spectacular reach.

Pure, unencumbered joy on a Santigold album? Yes, she was looking out for your darkened post-Obama spirit, recording a much-needed but little-heard

“So cut the cake, and let us eat,” country artist and queer ally Jennifer Nettles sasses on Sugarland’s first album in eight years. Given the surprising sociopolitical weight of the rest of her reunion with Sugarland bandmate Kristian Bush, it makes perfect sense that the duo’s call-for-cake is a call-for-equality: “Mother” conveys the pro-LGBTQ stance of its, yes, country

granddaddy’s name.” Beauty ultimately triumphs, as does Pistol Annies on this, their most moving album.

6. Robyn, Honey This isn’t the Robyn album we asked for. You wanted to dance more, and for that, dear queers, you have a trilogy of Body Talk bangers. Though lead single “Missing You” is the kind of Robyn song you’ll be happy to know will leave you feeling sad on the dancefloor, generally, Honey doesn’t bang; the Swedish pop star’s art changed because her life changed — a breakup, a death.

Thusly, Robyn let Body Talk be Body Talk, and because she’s an artist she sculpted a new sound for a new era that forgoes the immediacy and lingering pop thunder of “Dancing on My Own.” Honey, then, with its ’90s-R&B vibe and low-key house throwbacks and wonky detours (“Beach2k20” anyone?), is its own sweet, weird and wonderful thing.

5. Pistol Annies, Interstate Gospel

7. Sugarland, Bigger

9. Santigold, I Don’t Want: The Gold Fire Sessions

music creators, while the wrenchingly too-real “Tuesday’s Broken” makes a case for stronger gun laws. It ends on “Not the Only,” leading us into a new year with a needed dose of unity and light.

Country artists Miranda Lambert, Ashley Monroe and Angaleena Presley have been here before, narrating cheeky and earnest parables of love, life and other woes set to the Americana backdrop they’ve all independently pursued.

But with Interstate Gospel, their collective supergroup is fine-tuned as they breathe new life into the road-less-traveled aphorism on “Milkman” and uncover the grimiest of family traditions in “5 Acres of Turnips,” as Lambert’s lament teems with aching regret: “generations of shame, in my

4. Janelle Monae, Dirty Computer In 2018, Janelle Monae came out and declared herself human. Her other reveal — that she is pansexual — is no footnote on a year that needed all the queer visibility it could get, but her latest finds Monae shedding the metal components of her android alter ego. For Dirty Computer, she came down to earth with bold, timely and lyrically charged assertions of being black, female and queer in an America where all the above is shunned. Her remedy for Trump’s America: a vagina monologue (“Pynk”) and a restorative message for the disenfranchised (“Americans”).

Dirty Computer is an artist taking full advantage of her role as an activist.

3. Mariah Carey, Caution Living tea-drinking legend Mariah Carey came to Caution

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without the world’s expectations on her shoulders, resulting in her most cohesive and self-assured set since 1997’s Butterfly. On “GTFO,” she kisses off the hims and hers she does not know in a composed and blasé purr, the whole low-key affair setting the stage for the diva’s chill defiance. This is Mariah emancipated from caring. This is Mariah in a negligee on a chaise lounge sipping her hot tea (and on “A No No,” spilling some too). This is Carey turning in one of the most experimental tracks of her enduring career, “Giving Me Life,” as elusive as ever during the song’s hypnotically eerie final stretch. This is what happens when you’re Mariah Carey on your own terms. To that I say, resoundingly: a YES YES.

2. Brandi Carlile, By the Way, I Forgive You Veteran singer-songwriter Brandi Carlile came at us hard with the pen on By the Way, I Forgive You. Not a word was wasted, and the Grammys took notice, nominating Carlile — the most nominated female artist this year — for six awards, including Album of the Year, as well as Record of the Year and Song of the Year for her soul-reviving queer anthem, “The Joke.” Notably, the set lives in the space Carlile is most comfortable: the intimacy of a theater, where

YEAR IN REVIEW | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 27

her towering rough-hewn howl has room to embellish and warm instrumentation emanates like a front-row seat at a Carlile concert. Lyrically, world injustices are brought to the fore with personal urgency and dramatic flare; the album is sad and dark and heavy. But it will heal you too.

1. Kacey Musgraves, Golden Hour On Golden Hour, Kacey Musgraves follows her own arrow again, thank you very much, as she evokes a world so serene it’s hard to believe we’re living in it. Flowers grow and so does love. Rainbows break through the sky and so does hope. Musgraves’ Golden Hour reminds you of the here-and-now, her voice as sweet as the pretty things — and the pretty hard things (letting someone go on “Space Cowboy,” the year’s best breakup song) — she brings to life simply by reminding you they exist. That’s the point, of course: to turn an eye to the unseen, clouded by a volatile political and social state. But Musgraves’ majestic spin on simple pleasures is like returning to a place you love, where just the thought is comforting — a balm, a breather. The sound of a new day. Q Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. Reach him via his website at www. chris-azzopardi.com and on Twitter (@ chrisazzopardi).

A E T

H A T U M

nt t o e m ove ing m s t n roo age test sa i s s y l a r d rien al, yet g , encour life for F r M ion of HIV ality of ays. t a n inter stigma rove qu endly w p ce fr i redu V, and im HIV in I th fo r H l i v i n g w i e TAH t hos U y l t d a ore amFrien m t ou / Te Find ok.com bo f a ce The new face of HIV awareness

28 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | COMICS

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PUZZLES | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 29

Issue 291 | Qsaltlake.com

You Might Be a “White Gay” If...

ACROSS

Each Sudoku puzzle has a unique solution which can be reached logically without guessing. Enter digits 1 through 9 into the blank spaces. Every row must contain one of each digit, as must each column and each 3x3 square. Qdoku

Q doku Easy

6

3 5 8 8 6 4 3 9 5 7

1

3

2 7

3

2

2 7 4 8 1 3 1 1 6 4 9 6 8 8 4 2 6 1 4 3 4 2 5 1 3 3 5 2 2 5 6 7 7 4 6 2 5 6 4 1 5 8 6 7 4 8 4 1 7 5 8 3

5

3 9 6

5 3

9 7 6

8

4 1

7 4 8 9 6 3 5 7

2 4 7 4 5 1 1 9 3 8 6 5 6 4 3 1 3 2 8 6 9 2 3 7 4 2 5

3 7

5

3

7

2

6 8

9

6 9

3

2 9 3 1 5 8 6 1 9 3 3 5

1 Queen of heaven, to Socrates 5 Partners of bottoms 9 Fashion designer Jacobs 13 Lesbian character in No Exit 14 Pull down 15 John Goodman’s Normal, ___ 16 Affluent, to Frida 17 Part of San Francisco’s BART 18 Title for Chablis 19 ...you have ever been to a concert of ___ 22 Reproduced nonheterosexually?

23 “I Could Have Danced ___ Night” 24 “Lazy River” start 27 Drag queen’s hose problem 30 Doubleday of baseball fame 32 Gore Vidal, ___ Edgar Box 34 Type of sucker 35 ...your favorite diva is Britney ___ 36 “Fancy” singer McEntire 38 ...you own every vinyl album of ___ (with 41-Across) 40 Bullets and cannonballs

9 Drop down like an eagle 10 “Now I get it!”

11 Disencumber 12 Queerly shy 20 Stats on a stallion 21 Labium 24 Not like the gay couple of SNL 25 Frost starter 26 Flaming queen’s crime?

28 Tim of Private Practice 29 Clean-air org.

31 Golden Girl Arthur 32 Hot blood 33 Carolyn who wrote about a Nancy 35 One sheet to the wind?

37 Constellation over Rio 39 US gun lobby 42 Sailor’s patron 44 Pole of your first mate?

47 Billy Budd, for one DOWN 48 Mason of Holly1 He got a blow job... wood with a trumpet 51 Not straight up 2 Seminal computer 53 Treasured violin 3 Some cans and 54 Six feet under bottles 55 Composer Edouard 4 Gaily colored flower 56 Vat colors 5 It rusts the Tin 57 Oral attention Woodsman getter 6 Trireme propellers 58 Butch’s gal 7 Like the beginning 59 Porter, but not Cole of GWTW 60 Big initials in fash8 Slow kind of mail ion

41 See 38-Across 43 Type of job 45 Keep out 46 Tatum of The Bad News Bears 47 It’s hung in a deli 49 Hi-___ graphics 50 He comes between Larry and Curly 52 Gay-friendly student org.

54 ...you voted for ___ 58 Mommie Dearest star Dunaway 61 Noncommittal words 62 In order (to) 63 Poet Gidlow 64 Yarborough of NASCAR 65 Survivor homes 66 Lesbian couples may do this 67 Mireille of World War Z 68 Words before were

30 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | MARKETPLACE

G U R U

V A P E

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Issue 291 | JANUARY 3, 2019

marketplace

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Embracing the health & resilience of our community

JANUARY 3, 2019 |

Issue 291 | Qsaltlake.com

marketplace

COUNSELORS

MARKETPLACE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 31

HAIR SALON

hair ADVANCED awareness COUNSELING Proudly gender affirming and supporting

advancedawarenesscounseling.com 9140 S State St Ste 202

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Aimee Steinly,

Dr. of Nursing Practice Anal HPV Specialist

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32 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | QMMUNITY

Qmmunity Groups ALCOHOL & DRUG

Alcoholics Anonymous 801-484-7871  utahaa.org LGBT meetings: Sun. 3p Acceptance Group, UPC, 255 E 400 S Mon. 7p Gay Men’s Stag (Big Book Study), UPC, 255 E 400 S 8p G/Q Women’s Mtg, Disability Law Center (rear), 205 N 400 W Tues. 8:15p Live & Let Live, UPC, 255 E 400 S Wed. 7p Sober Today, 375 Harrison Blvd, Ogden Fri. 8p Stonewall Group, UPC, 255 E 400 S Crystal Meth Anon  crystalmeth.org Sun. 1:30pm Clean, Sober & Proud LGBTQIA+Straight USARA, 180 E 2100 S Thurs. 1p Unity In Sobriety, 175 S 700 E LifeRing Secular Recovery 801-608-8146  liferingutah.org Sun. 10am Univ. Neuropsychiatric Institute, 501 Chipeta Way #1566 Wed. noon, 2319 Foothill Dr, #120 Weds. 6:30 pm, Univ Neuropsych Institute, 501 Chipeta Way #1566 Thurs. 7pm, USARA, 180 E 2100 S, #100

Fri. 7pm, UPC, 1380 S. Main 2nd Flr. Sat. 11am, First Baptist Church, 777 S 1300 E

Qsaltlake.com |

Weber-Morgan Health Mon., Weds 1-4:30p 477 23rd St, Ogden Appt 801-399-7250

BUSINESS

HOMELESS SVCS

LGBTQ-Affirmative Psycho-therapists Guild of Utah  lgbtqtherapists.com * jim@lgbtqtherapists.com

Volunteers of America Homeless Youth Resource Ctr, ages 15–21 880 S 400 W 801-364-0744 Transition Homes: Young Men’s

Utah Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce  utahgaychamber.com * info@utahgaychamber.com Vest Pocket Business Coalition  vestpocket.org 801-596-8977 DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 YWCA of Salt Lake  ywca.org/ saltlakecity 322 E 300 S 801-537-8600 HEALTH & HIV

Peer Support for Mental Illness — PSMI Thurs 7pm, Utah Pride Ctr Planned Parenthood 654 S 900 E 800-230-PLAN Salt Lake County Health Dept HIV/STD Clinic 660 S 200 E, 4th Floor Walk-ins M–F 10a–4p Appts 385-468-4242 Utah AIDS Foundation  utahaids.org * mail@utahaids.org 1408 S 1100 E 801-487-2323

801-433-1713 Young Women’s 801-359-5545 LEGAL

Rainbow Law Free Clinic 2nd Thurs 6:30–7:30pm UofU Law School, 383 S University St POLITICAL

Equality Utah  equalityutah.org * info@equalityutah.org 175 W 200 S, Ste 1004 801-355-3479 Utah Libertarian Party 6885 S State St #200 888-957-8824 Utah Log Cabin Republicans  bit.ly/logcabinutah 801-657-9611 Utah Stonewall Democrats  utahstonewalldemocrats.org RELIGIOUS

First Baptist Church  firstbaptist-slc.org * office@firstbaptistslc.org 11a Sundays 777 S 1300 E 801-582-4921

BUT WITH A CAPE

Sacred Light of Christ  slcchurch.org 823 S 600 E 801-595-0052 11a Sundays

Queer Friends  queerfriends.org

Wasatch Metropolitan Community Church  wasatchmcc.org 801-889-8764 Sundays except the 2nd Sunday, 11:15a at Crone’s Hollow, 3834 S. Main

Sage Utah, Seniors  fb.me/sageutah  sageutah@ utahpridecenter.org 801-557-9203

SOCIAL

1 to 5 Club (bisexual)  fb.me/1to5ClubUtah The Bonnie and Clyde’s Social Group  bit.ly/BonnieClydeSG Alternative Garden Club  bit.ly/altgarden * altgardenclub@gmail.com blackBOARD Men’s Kink/Sex/BDSM education, 1st, 3rd Mons.  blackbootsslc.org blackBOOTS Kink/BDSM Men’s leather/kink/ fetish/BDSM 4th Sats.  blackbootsslc.org Gay Writes writing group, DiverseCity 6:30 pm Mondays Community Writing Ctr, 210 E 400 S Ste 8 Get Outside Utah  bit.ly/GetOutsideUtah Men Who Move  menwhomove.org OUTreach Utah Ogden  outreachutah.org OWLS of Utah (Older, Wiser, Lesbian. Sisters)  bit.ly/owlsutah

Issue 291 | JANUARY 3, 2019

qVinum Wine Tasting  qvinum.com  fb.me /QVinum/

Temple Squares Square Dance Club  templesquares.org 801-449-1293 Utah Bears  utahbears.com  fb.me/utahbears  info@utahbears.com Weds 6pm Raw Bean Coffee, 611 W Temple

Salt Lake Goodtime Bowling League  bit.ly/slgoodtime Stonewall Shooting Sports of Utah  fb.me/stonewall. sportsofutah Venture Out Utah  facebook.com/groups/ Venture.OUT.Utah YOUTH/COLLEGE

Encircle LGBTQ Family and Youth Resource Center  encircletogether.org fb.me/encircletogether 91 W 200 S, Provo, Gay-Straight Alliance Network  gsanetwork.org

Utah Male Naturists  umen.org  info@umen.org

Salt Lake Community College LGBTQ+ 8 slcc.edu/lgbtq/

Utah Pride Center  utahpridecenter.org  info@utahpridecenter.org 1380 S Main St 801-539-8800

University of Utah LGBT Resource Center 8 lgbt.utah.edu 200 S Central Campus Dr Rm 409 801-587-7973

SPORTS

Pride Community Softball League  fb.me/utahpride. softballleague  pcsl@prideleague.com Q Kickball League  fb.me/qsaltlake. kickball Sundays, 10:30, 11:30, Sunnyside Park QUAC — Queer Utah Aquatic Club  quacquac.org  questions@ quacquac.org

USGA at BYU  fb.me/UsgaAtByu Utah State Univ. Access & Diversity Ctr  usu.edu/ accesscenter/lgbtqa Utah Valley Univ Spectrum  facebook.com/ groups/uvuspectrum Weber State University LGBT Resource Center  weber.edu/ lgbtresourcecenter 801-626-7271

Embracing the health & resilience of our community Utah’s Inclusive Aquatic Club since 1995 BEGINNERS WELCOME EVERYONE’S INVITED

umen.org

JANUARY 3, 2019 |

Issue 291 | Qsaltlake.com

marketplace LENDERS

MARKETPLACE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 33

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34 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 291 | JANUARY 3, 2019

THANK YOU to our past board members: BRAD CASE

RYAN TAYLOR STEPHEN SHERMAN-MILLS

TO WEST WENDOVER, Nevada Featuring the Matrons of Mayhem

CONGRATULATIONS TO OUR 2019 ELECTS: VICE CHAIR: Kylee Howell TREASURER: Jon Jepsen BOARD: Michael Aaron BOARD: Macklin Brown BOARD: Dara R. Cohen BOARD: Trey Edwards

NEXT BUS:

Sat. January 12

Returning board members can be found on our website at utahgaychamber.com

1 8 5 6 9 7 4 2 3

7 1 9 5 6 3 2 8 4

6 5 8 4 1 2 7 3 9

2 3 4 9 7 8 1 6 5

7 2 5 1 3 8 9 6 4

4 3 8 6 9 7 1 5 2

1 5 9 2 4 3 8 6 7

2 7 6 5 1 8 9 3 4

9 4 3 7 8 5 6 2 1

2 9 8 7 5 6 3 1 4 7 6 5 1 2 9 3 4 8

3 6 7 9 1 4 2 5 8 8 2 1 4 3 6 7 9 5

LIBRA Sept 23–October 22

9 7 3 8 2 4 5 1 6

1 3 4 9 5 6 2 7 8

4 5 1 2 3 8 9 6 7

a surprise appearance. However, be aware of some romantic intentions.

4 6 2 1 3 5 9 7 8

9 6 8 2 4 7 3 5 1

9 7 4 3 8 5 1 2 6

A big change is coming, so be prepared. Nothing is more frustrating than feeling like everyoneis too busy. But it’s a good time for reflection and personal expression. Splurge a little, but don’t venture too far from the familiar. A neat friendwill make

5 2 6 4 7 1 8 3 9

The future seems unclear and a path undefined. This would be fine if you knew the generaldirection things were going. A normal sense of adventure is notably missing,but do no

VIRGO August 23–Sep. 22

8 1 3 6 2 9 4 7 5

GEMINI May 21–June 20

A helping handcomes from a family member. A humble nature will emerge as a result, and a newperspective will shape your outlook. Spend time with those close to you, anddon’t let a moment of anger overcome your sensibilities. Staying calm whenthings heat up is encouraged. The last thing needed right now is deep regret.

5 1 7 3 6 4 2 8 9 4 7 1 6 3 5 8 4 2 7 9 1

Priorities of equal importance flood your agenda.

Discouragement ensues without a clear first step, and progress is stalled.

Career woes should be handled lightly, while relationship and family matters demand a direct approach. Patience is good, but don’t delay. Draining the pressures of life will provide immediate relief.

LEO July 23–August 22

6 8 4 9 7 2 5 1 3 8 6 2 7 4 9 1 6 3 5 8 2

TAURUS Apr 20–May 20

You’ve kept a big secret for a while. However, everyone already knows what the secret is! Don’t fear letting friends know what defines you, as it will make the worldmuch easier to deal with. Being out of your comfort zone could take time toadjust to, but being exposed can be very liberating. Freedom is a gift to yourself

3 9 2 8 5 1 4 7 6 3 9 5 1 8 2 5 9 7 6 4 3

The path to freedom appears in the form of passion and good spirits. It’s amazing how good someone makes you feel when things get a little tough. Don’t grow dependent on others for happiness, but if an opportunity for it exists, take advantage of it. Strength spawns from coziness, especially in matters of the heart.

CANCER June 21–July 22

8 2 6 7 4 9 3 5 1 6 2 4 8 9 7 1 4 3 2 6 5

ARIES March 20–April 19

3 4 1 2 5 6 8 9 7 5 1 3 4 2 6 5 9 7 3 8 1

BY SAM KELLEY-MILLS

5 9 7 3 8 1 6 4 2 7 8 9 5 1 3 2 8 6 9 7 4

JANUARY

fret. Life continues moving forward and will eventually show itscards. Now is not a good time to gamble, so some caution would be wise

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q scopes

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or cash-only at Club Try-Angles during normal hours

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or 801-997-9763 x2

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Tickets $25 or

result in conflict

CAPRICORN Dec 21–Jan 19

Dreams can be frightening if truth is mistaken for logic.

Don’t blow things out of proportion without measuring the extent of reality. Family members take advantage of insecurities, so avoid a tragedy before it starts. If things don’t feel right, make the necessary adjustments.

Small changes make the biggest of differences.

There is no such thing as a perfect life, but perfect moments are possible. Great moments will occur during this time, especially in business matters. An intriguing opportunity will be a powerful lure. Be cautious with individuals who seem too willing to give. Open arms could be a trap. Set restrictions and stand firm.

SCORPIO Oct. 23–Nov. 21

Running away feels good from time to time. This will ring true during this time, Aquarius. Personal entanglements are bound to get sticky, but a little distance will help in overcoming the mess. Eliminate one problem at a time, and free time will flow your way. Relax with a clear head.

A good cry could also be cleansing.

A period of intense emotional strain will lead to an increase of desires. Give in to temptation with a sense of modesty, and satisfaction will be more abundant. Anincrease of finances will come available, but conservation would be wise. Savefor something you really want while being aware of hard times ahead.

SAGITTARIUS

Nov. 22–December 20.

Friends from the past will appear in a quick and surprising manner.

Welcome or not, there are memories attached to these people. Buried emotions will rise to the surface. Evaluate your feelings carefully and tread lightly.

The past is remembered differently from others. Misunderstandings could

AQUARIUS Jan. 20–Feb. 18

PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19

Feeling through a problem is only part of the process.

Embrace both reason and instinct when finalizing a crucial decision. A career development will cause both delight and frustration when too many options become available. The future isn’t certain, but consequences are.

Do what feels right to your head and heart. Balance! Q

JANUARY 3, 2019 |

A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 35

Issue 291 | Qsaltlake.com

gay writes Two Poems

BY SAM WALKER

poem for an austrian girl I would compare you to a rose, but pretty flowers never do last long before they start to wither I would compare you to the sun, but someday it will consume itself as stars tend to do perhaps it is an injustice to compare you to anything at all; you are far too strange and far too perfect and I am just a man

the epilogue of an american love story you told me once that you trusted me enough to introduce me to your daughter; she and I will never meet, not as anything more than strangers, but should she ask about the man you knew I want you to tell her everything

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36 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FRIVOLIST

Qsaltlake.com |

the frivolist

Issue 291 | JANUARY 3, 2019

5 tips to becoming his goto booty call

BY MIKEY ROX

We’ve all

had a random hookup we hope comes

back for more.

Maybe they look yum naked or throw down the good-good like Thor’s magic hammer. Perhaps they give great postbang convo or cuddle like an Olympic-level big spooner.

Whatever’s got you giddy for that one-time fling, here’s how to turn it into a regular thing.

1. Be available but play it cool If you’re lucky enough to get a ping for a repeat session, act natural — and suppress your eagerness to respond immediately.

Let the text sit for 15 to 30 minutes, then hit back that you’re out with friends at the moment (people with active social lives are much more attractive than those loafing on the couch — to me at least), but suggest a time that you’ll be home (even if you already are) an hour or two later. Yeah, playing this card may mean that the object of your ass-fection will move on to the next bro in line or be unavailable when you finally are, but this strategy allows you to pick up around your place and it gives you some measure of control from the onset since he’ll recognize that you’re not going to drop everything to get him back in your bed.

If you’re the one reaching out when you’re thirsty, send one text and one text only. He got it — even if he hasn’t responded. Don’t get all Glenn Close about your non-relationship by blowing up his phone. Nothing makes people run for the hills faster than a creeper with boundary issues — no matter how big your dick or good in bed you think you are.

2. Keep yourself and your digs presentable I met a guy at a bar once that I got just drunk enough to go home with. I very rarely go to their place, and his spot was a perfect example why: Mattress on the floor, overflowing ashtrays next to the bed, the pungent smell of cat waste wafting through

the barely furnished shanty. Totally turned me off. I couldn’t jet quick enough.

I expect that you don’t have this problem — I assume most homos (even the younger ones) don’t live in squalor — but if you look around your home and see anything that a guest might find offensive, like dishes piled high in the sink, pet hair everywhere, or a shit-stained toilet, clean it. Visitors deserve to come into a respectable situation, and failing to present yourself in a put-together manner basically says you don’t give a fuck — about you or them.

3. Show your interest, not your desperation If you’ve managed to get the dude in your bed on multiple occasions, good on ya; you’re reaching pro status. But with that comes feelings a lot of times, and that scares some people. Don’t catch emotions. Coyly let him know you’re interested, but don’t be desperate about it. Not the sex, not the “something more.”

It may evolve into that one day, and you’ll know if the sentiment is reciprocated (if you’re self-aware, at least), but for now, go with the flow, let things happen, be easy-breezy, my friend. You’ll both have more fun that way.

4. Remind yourself that this is casual If you find yourself developing more than lust for your now-frequent bed buddy, step back and assess the situation. Were you looking for a significant other when

this started? Has he expressed a similar interest in you? Are you two on the same page, or is this just you getting ahead of yourself? Will this ruin the good thing you have? And what’s his deal? Is his life messy? Is he double-double toil and trouble? Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

5. Be awesome in bed I’ll be the first size-queen to tell you that you don’t have to be hung like a college basketball player (only reason I watch the games; it’s March Madness in my pants, y’all) to be a boss in bed. I’ve slept with a few men lacking manhood who more than made up for it with all the right moves. A solid bangarang is about confidence, self-awareness, focusing on your strengths (maybe your make-out game is strong and he loves to kiss), and giving that boy what he wants and needs times two. Ask what he likes and follow through. Just don’t be weird, OK? Personally I’m turned off by someone who’s overly aggressive and/or too panty — at least at first; we can work up to the kink — and neither of those first-fuck habits will warrant a follow-up sesh. Play it safe (figuratively and literally) while building the foundation for anticipation of the next time. If it’s memorable, they’ll be back for more — guaranteed. Q Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. He spends his time writing from the beach with his dog Jaxon. Connect with Mikey on Instagram @mikeyrox

JANUARY 3, 2019 |

BOOKS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 37

Issue 291 | Qsaltlake.com

the bookworm sez REVIEW BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

Hiding Out: A Memoir of Drugs, Deception, and Double Lives

BY TINA ALEXIS ALLEN C.2018, DEY ST. BOOKS, $16.99 288 PAGES

“Ready or not, here I come!”

Hear that, and if you hadn’t hidden by then, hadn’t found a secret spot, you had a real chance of losing at Hide & Seek. Get out of sight, though, and you might’ve managed to sneak back home, ready to play another game. As in the memoir Hiding Out by Tina Alexis Allen, that game could last for decades.

Growing up, Christina Worthington knew her father hated her.

Her twelve siblings knew it, too, and they reminded her of it often: she was the youngest, her mother’s “lucky thirteen” and the victim of much of her father’s wrath. Starting at about the age of nine, Tina was also the victim of sexual abuse from two of her then-adult brothers.

But she never told anyone about it. Instead, she acted out at school until the nuns were at their wits’ end and her “saint” of a mother was exasperated. At age eleven, a younger teacher finally took Tina under her wing – and into her bed.

Two years later, by the time her teacher-lover sent her away, Tina knew she was more attracted to girls than to boys. By her mid-teens, she had a college-age girlfriend who lived near her parents’ Washington D.C.-area house, from which she managed to mostly stay away; there was more comfort in the girlfriend’s

apartment than there was at her childhood home, where hiding her real self was necessary.

But no one can hide forever.

When her father invited her and her girlfriend to lunch one day, Tina was guarded – and rightfully so, because he figured out her secret and she couldn’t deny. Then he revealed a shocker of his own: he was gay, too.

Within weeks, Tina went from hated daughter to favorite; from ignored to invitee to her father’s dinners and clubs. They agreed to keep one another’s secrets from the rest of the family, partying, drinking, and doing drugs until the stress of it all bubbled over, Tina couldn’t take the lies anymore, and her lips spilled the truth.

Years later, there was one last secret…

Memoirs, by their very nature, are generally focused inwardly, to a greater or lesser degree. Count Hiding Out on the latter side.

Starting with a raucous anecdote of sibling rivalry before Christmas Mass, you’re in for more than a look-at-me memoir.

This is, in fact, a whole-family tale in which author Tina Alexis Allen puts the focus mainly on her parents, with sibs ringing the action as needed. Using that as a base, tales eke out tantalizingly slowly over the course of this book, and some are shocking, told so casually that you’ll get a “Wait. What?” backlash.

Don’t be surprised if you read the occasional sentence twice, in disbelief.

Add a tight window of time and a deep unsubstantiated-rumor-type mystery that feels like a character unto itself, and you’ve got a compulsively readable book that’s, at its close, very unique. If a memoir like Hiding Out is what you want for a long winter’s night, then get ready. Q

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38 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FINAL WORD

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 291 | JANUARY 3, 2019

the perils of petunia pap smear

The tale of a silent scream

BY PETUNIA PAP SMEAR

The road

to big city sophistication is fraught with danger and excitement.

Many of you might realize that Mr. Pap Smear and I took the plunge and purchased Chateau Pap Smear, right in the heart of metropolis. I was born and raised on a farm with 5,000 sheep in a small Idaho town of 250 people, so you can imagine what a life-changing event moving to the capital city might be to this ol’ country girl.

Being the size queen that I am, I was excited to see that Chateau Pap Smear is slightly larger than all her neighboring bungalows of the same vintage. The bathroom even includes a garden-size jetted bathtub. Before we even purchased the house, I had dreamy visions of this tired old queen filling the bathroom with scented candles and rose petals, resting her beehive hair against a silk pillow, and relaxing in the steaming hot, swirling, regenerative waters. “Oh Calgon, take me away”!

This private luxurious bath experience would be much preferable to an excursion to Crystal Hot Springs, as I would avoid the horrified, yet well-meaning, onlookers as they ceaselessly keep trying to push “the Great White Beached Whale” back into the pool. It wouldn’t be such a bad experience, if they would only stop using 10-foot poles to do it.

We hired an inspector to give the house the once-over before the purchase. He informed us that the water heater was 35 years old, and was in desperate need

7pm, Jan. 18, Feb. 15, Mar. 15 First Baptist Church, 777 S 1300 E fb.me/matronsofmayhem

of being replaced soon, but was still in working order. Undaunted by his warning, we proceeded with the acquisition of our dream home.

On move-in day, later that evening, when I had finally located the soap and towels, I decided to treat my poor aching body to an initiatory soothing soak in the jetted tub. I went into the bathroom and flipped on the light switch. Nothing happened. No light. Shit! Well, a resourceful queen such as myself could certainly bathe using the braille method. So I proceeded with my spa preparations. Expecting a torrent of steaming hot water to gush forth, I turned the hot water faucet on full bore. I was shocked at what happened next.

There came from the tap what could only be described as a minuscule dribble of tepid water, flowing ever-so-slowly under no pressure, into the tub. I got a food thermometer to measure the temperature of the water. It was an underwhelming 90 degrees, right from the tap. I waited and waited, hoping for better results. Forty-five minutes later, the tub was finally full enough to be able to turn on the massaging jets, but by then, the tap was spewing forth nothing but cold water.

I again measured the temperature and it only reached 80 degrees. It was so cool that I did a quick sponge bath and called it good. Since that day, while impatiently waiting for the tax refund us to replace the water heater, we suffered for 10 months with that pathetically, slow, lukewarm shower, with much less pressure than most queens’ teardrops after the season finale of Downton Abbey.

Then last month, Mr. Pap Smear got extremely painful blood clots in his leg.

The only way to relieve his pain was to soak in a tub of hot water. So there I was, at 2 a.m., heating up huge pots of water on the stove, to fill the huge garden tub with water that would not freeze the man. We ended up repeating this laborious scenario every night for about one week. I complained bitterly about my water woes to anyone who would listen.

In frustration, I ventured one night into

the basement to see what size water heater we should be shopping for, and in the glow of my flashlight, I could see the temperature dial was set to almost off. I nudged the dial one quarter-turn to the left, to the hot setting, and I heard the heater flame jump into action.

With much anticipation, the next morning I stepped into the shower and turned on the hot water faucet full force as usual.

It was still a pathetic dribble. So with low expectation, I stepped into the dribbling stream of water. I screamed as loud as if they had canceled my membership to the Sequins of the Month Club, when the hot water made contact with, and immediately par-boiled, my testicles. Scrambling to escape this torture and to preserve what little might be left of the family jewels, I slipped and fell, tearing down the shower curtain in the process, this time with my ass directly in the line of fire. The only thing missing from this familiar scene was the screeching sound track and N-N-Norman’s plunging knife from Psycho.

As always, these events leave us with several burning eternal questions: 1. In Idaho, how many sheep are required to live in a town before the town can incorporate?

2. Were the neighbors alarmed when they saw me measuring their houses in the dark of night?

3. How many scented candles can you light in a bathroom before the house catches fire?

4. If the candles sucked up all the oxygen in the room, resulting in my asphyxiation, would the obituary read, Death by Scentsy?

5. Where the hell is that “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” button when you really need it?

6. If a queen screams in a bathroom and no one hears it, do you end up making a hot meatball sandwich with the buns and balls?

These and other important questions to be answered in future chapters of The Perils of Petunia Pap Smear.

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