QSaltLake Magazine - 288 - Nov 15, 2018

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NOVEMBER 15, 2018 VOL. 15 • ISSUE 288 QSALTLAKE.COM

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Issue 288 | November 15, 2018

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Issue 288 | Qsaltlake.com

Happy Holidays!

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from the publisher

Issue 288 | November 15, 2018

staffbox

publisher/editor Michael Aaron

Holiday gifts

BY MICHAEL AARON

This is

the 15th holiday shopping guide we’ve produced, and they have all had one thing in common — we always focus on buying local. I’d like to go one step further and tell you what I most like to give for the holidays.

Utah has a rich arts community, but each and every dollar is fought for by the small staffs of each organization. Well, except Hale Center Theatre. The state gives them at least $100,000 each year. Hell, they asked for $2 million a few years ago.

Squirrel! Back to my point.

QSaltLake Magazine readers attend arts events at a rate nearly four times the average Utahn. We support our arts. So, how can we support them even more?

If we want to see the arts continue to thrive here, consider giving theater, opera, ballet, concert, choir, and other tickets or season passes for the holidays.

What could be a better reminder of how great a son or daughter (or however you prefer to call yourself) you are than to give tickets to shows throughout the year? I gave my parents season tickets to the Davis Arts Summer Night with the Stars series last Christmas. Yeah, they had to wait a while before they could use their Christmas gifts, but I got a call from my mother each time to say how much she loved the show.

It is hard to find gifts for people the age of my parents. By this time in their life, if they don’t have it already they probably don’t want or need it. I think the gifts of experiences enriches their lives in a much greater way than an appliance would.

Another idea that I have heard other parents request for gifts is a donation in their name to a charitable organization. Again, they have about everything they need. Supporting organizations doing great work is another way to support and enrich our community.

Even if these ideas aren’t your cup of tea, please give thought to supporting a local small- or micro-business. Take a look at our guide and see if some of these one- and two-person (or maybe up to 12) operations have something that will pique your interest.

Buying local is good for everyone. Not only do your tax dollars stay in the community, but chances are that local business bought from another local business, which in turn did the same.

The owners of Amazon won’t notice your $40 or $200, but small business owners will. These people are often working their butt off to make ends meet. That money you spend could mean a meal. Or maybe a night at the arts. Q

ASSISTANT editor Tony Hobday NATIONAL NEWS editor Craig Ogan designer Christian Allred sales Ken Stowe, 801-997-9763 x1 sales@qsaltlake.com contributors Joshua Adamson Pickett, Diane Anderson-Minshall, Chris Azzopardi, Paul Berge, Jeff Berry, Paul Campbell, Laurie Bennett-Cook, Mikki Enoch, Jack Fertig, Greg Fox, Charles Lynn Frost, Oriol Gutierrez Jr., Ryan Haymore, Tony Hobday, Joshua Jones, Christopher Katis, Rock Magen, Sam Mills, Craig Ogan, Mikey Rox, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Gregg Shapiro, Petunia Pap Smear, Steven Petrow, Ed Sikov, JoSelle Vanderhooft, Ben ­Williams, D’Anne ­Witkowski distribution Bradley Jay Crookston,

RJ Graham publisher

Q Media Group 222 S Main St, Ste 500 (by appt. only), Salt Lake City, Utah 84101 tel: 801-997-9763

CONTACT EMAILS: general: info@qsaltlake.com editorial: editor@qsaltlake.com ARTS: arts@qsaltlake.com sales: sales@qsaltlake.com

Check us out online at: QSALTLAKE.COM FACEBOOK.COM/QSALTLAKE TWITTER @QSALTLAKE

QSaltLake Magazine is a trademark of Salt Lick Publishing, LLC., Q Media Group Copyright © 2018, Salt Lick Publishing, LLC. All rights reserved. No material may be reprinted or reproduced without written permission from the publisher. 8–12,000 copies are distributed free of charge at over 300 locations across the state. Free copies are limited to one per person.

For additional copies, call 801-997-9763. It is a crime to dispose of current issues or otherwise interfere with the distribution of this magazine. Printed in the USA on recycled paper. Please recycle this copy when done.

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news Call Wharton O’Brien Law

The top national and world news you should know since last issue TV appearances, who’s counting?

GLAAD’s annual “Where We Are on TV” reports queer characters constitute nearly nine percent of regular TV and streaming characters this season. That’s up a few ticks from last year. Among those characters, 22 percent are black, eight percent Latinx, and eight percent Asian Pacific Islander. Characters identifying as men or women are at 50 percent each. GLAAD says this somehow represents an improvement over last season when “men” made up 55 percent of characters and women 44 percent. Overall, the report says there are 31 percent more regular and recurring queer characters on broadcast TV and 72 percent on streaming programs since 2017.

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The U.S. Department of Justice filed a brief in a case working its way to the Supreme Court about a transgender woman who was fired after she informed her employer of her gender transition. A lower court and EEOC have ruled the employer violated the 1964 Civil Rights Act. The Alliance Defending Freedom is urging the Supreme Court to consider the case as a Religious Freedom issue.

The ACLU and other rights organizations are petitioning

Issue 288 | November 15, 2018

SCOTUS not to take up the appeal. The DOJ is not asking the Supreme Court to hear the case, but posits the definition of “sex” in the context the passing of the law in 1964, suggests the act referred to “man or woman” and nothing else and that Congress can revisit the act and change it to expand the definition to LGBT people. In an action awaiting a blue wave, Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi recently said she would introduce the Equality Act, legislation to do just as the DOJ suggested, as one of her first orders of business if Democrats retake the House in November.

The Chicago Way gets weird The Chicago Police Department is accused of protecting a police officer under criminal investigation for the beating of a gay couple. While off duty, the officer and his boyfriend put two men in the hospital in the beating. They were fingered by two other men also implicated as aiding in the beat down. The officer is on desk duty, and no criminal charges have been filed. Police records show the officer has a rap sheet for sexual assault charges going back to 2003. A male teen was assaulted while the officer served as a resource officer at the teen’s high school.

Another was a complaint by two male teen relatives at a family reunion.

Gay does not always equal bright Gateway Pundit, the first website news blog to get White House media credentials, has backtracked a story about special counsel Robert Mueller headlined: Accused of Rape By ‘Very Credible Witness’ — MUCH MORE TO COME #BelieveAllWomen. The story alleges sexual harassment by

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Issue 288 | Qsaltlake.com

blog also apologized for suggesting the magazines were in financial troubles and the owners “are at best disinterested in the magazines’ base and issues and are at worst actively hostile to it.”

Bad time to be gay in Africa

Baltimore is Divine, vice versa A new mural in Baltimore pays tribute to the late drag actor and cult figure Divine. Painted by the internationally prominent street artist Gaia (Andrew Pisacane), the three-story-high mural in the Mount Vernon Historic District is one of the first murals anywhere to pay tribute to a drag performer. The owners of the building, a married male couple, wanted to reproduce the image from the “I’m So Beautiful” cover. Divine (Harris Glenn Milstead) was born in Maryland in 1945 and died in 1988, shortly after Hairspray was released. Divine rose to fame in John Water’s movies. “It is great,” Waters said. “Divine looking out, blessing the city.” the former FBI Director in an incident in 1974. The story was quickly replaced by the factual story that the FBI was investigating a DC lobbyist for bribing a woman to make these accusations. The founder of Gateway Pundit is Jim Hoft who “came out” while reporting on the Orlando Nightclub Massacre. He has been dubbed “the dumbest man on the internet” for running so many off the wall, some would say fake, stories.

The closet still kills The late New England Patriots’ tight end, Aaron Hernandez, was gay, according to his brother in a family memoir, The Truth About Aaron.

Hernandez was convicted of murder in 2013 and committed suicide in prison in 2017.

Jonathan Hernandez says their father abused both boys, beating them for the smallest of infractions and that an older boy sexually assaulted Aaron at

age six. Jonathan writes, “You could kind of see what his conflicts were and what he was struggling with, his sexuality … and accepting himself.” He says the struggle, coupled with brain injuries sustained on the football field, led to dramatic changes in behavior.

High times with gay mags The kerfuffle arising from a report by the website for the news and media business, The Inquisitr, and reprinted in Women’s Wear Daily, that owners of Out and The Advocate, Adam Levin and Maxx Abramowitz, donated money to Republican politicians has subsided as the blog has apologized for errors in the story.

Only one of the two owners gave any money to Republican politicians and did so because of the representatives’ stands on marijuana legalization — important to the owners as they also own High Times, an iconic MJ publication. The

Officials in Tanzania’s main city of Dar es Salaam announced the formation of a team to identify and arrest gay and lesbian people. Tanzania law subjects them up to 30 years in jail. Laws against same-sex sexual activity, introduced to most African nations by European colonial powers over a century ago, are rarely enforced in Tanzania.

Agitation and action against gays and lesbians have risen since President John Magufuli’s election in 2015, who says “Even Cows hate homosexuality.” Since his election, gay and lesbian support groups and HIV/AIDS prevention programs targeting gay men have been shut down.

PayPal founder is PresPal He’s either brave or nuts, but PayPal founder and Facebook board member Peter Thiel told The New York Times he would support the President in the 2020 election. Thiel discussed being a gay man in Silicon Valley at the 2016 GOP convention. He recently moved his operation to Los Angeles calling the Valley a “one-party state.” He’s not troubled by the president’s tweets or the nicknames he assigns his opponents, calling them, “accurate.” Thiel dismisses the president’s inaccurate pronouncements by saying previous presidents have lied by omission and by not discussing the issues the current one does. He thinks the current political environment is “not healthy” but

claimed the USA has been “polarized since the late ’60s” and that the president was “not the main cause.”

Heartless corporations show heart Fifty-six corporations with more than $2.4 trillion in annual revenue signed a letter expressing support for the transgender community and opposing the federal government’s proposal to define gender based on physical status at birth. The letter, signed by such name brands as Google, Coca-Cola, Apple, Amazon, Pepsi, JPMorgan Chase, Dow Chemical and Uber, asks the government to, “to display respect and transparency when drawing up policies” and called for “full equality under the law.” The effort, called Businesses for Trans Rights, was organized by OUT leadership and the Human Rights Campaign and included, GLAAD, GLSEN, Lambda Legal, National LGBT Chamber of Commerce, National LGBTQ Task Force, PFLAG National, The Trevor Project, Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund, and others.

Rhapsodic box office for gay pics Two movies about gay men, Bohemian Rhapsody and Boy Erased, won the money chase in the first weekend of release.

The Freddy Mercury biopic, in general release, earned $50 million in the U.S. and $72 million overseas. Boy Erased, about conversion therapy, is in limited release and earned the highest screen average in that market on the opening weekend. Rami Malek from TVs Mr. Robot portrayed Queen’s Freddy Mercury, and the film was mired in controversy when the initial director got embroiled in #meetoo accusations and a lawsuit. Q

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Issue 288 | November 15, 2018

Two-thirds of Equality Utah endorsements win election Twenty-three of the 34 candidates endorsed by Equality Utah have been elected or re-elected, according to unofficial results from last night’s elections. One race has the endorsed candidate winning by a slight margin and is too close to call. The remaining 10 candidates were defeated.

All 18 incumbents endorsed by the political action committee were re-elected.

In non-incumbent races, endorsees won in the following races: In the Utah House, Jen Dailey-Provost was elected to replace outgoing Rebecca Chavez-Houck in District 24, Avenues

EU Endorsee results: SEAT

ENDORSEE

Utah House 4 Josh Brundage Utah House 8 Deana Froerer Utah House 9 Kathie J. Darby Utah House 18 Adam Alba Utah House 23 Sandrah Hollins* Utah House 24 Jen Dailey-Provost* Utah House 25 Joel K. Briscoe* Utah House 26 Angela Romero* Utah House 28 Brian S. King* Utah House 30 Mike Winder* Utah House 34 Karen Kwan* Utah House 35 Mark Wheatley* Utah House 36 Patrice Arent* Utah House 37 Carol Spackman Moss* Utah House 40 Stephanie Pitcher Utah House 42 Amy L. Martz Utah House 44 Andrew Stoddard Utah House 46 Marie Poulson* Utah House 51 Michele Weeks Utah Senate 2 Derek Kitchen Utah Senate 3 Gene Davis* Utah Senate 4 Jani Iwamoto* Utah Senate 5 Karen Mayne* Utah Senate 8 Kathleen Riebe Utah Senate 9 Alexander Castagno Utah Senate 12 Daniel W. Thatcher* Utah Senate 28 Mark Chambers SL Cty Council 1 Arlyn Bradshaw* SL Cty Council 3 Lisa Gehrke SL Cty Council 4 Ann Granato* SL Cty Council AL Jim Bradley* Bd of Ed 2 Craig Pitts Bd of Ed 3 Thomas E. Nedreberg SL District Atty Sim Gill* * = incumbent

WIN/

% VOTE

L C L L W W W W W W W W W W W L W W L W W W W W L W L W L W W L L W

37.04 50.13 46.73 29.03 73.93 77.01 91.57 75.63 100 57.6 59.94 64.05 64.1 62.47 70.16 33.14 54.54 62.07 39.48 77.08 70.17 68.18 68.46 56.06 33.39 51.63 20.97 100 46.81 62.13 57.04 38.72 26.35 57.17

and Capitol Hill.

Stephanie Pitcher was elected to replace fellow Democrat Rep. Lynn Hemingway in South Salt Lake’s District 40 after he withdrew from the race because of his wife’s health.

Andrew Stoddard has appeared to upset incumbent Republican Rep. Bruce Cutler in the swing District 44 in Midvale with 54.54 percent of the current vote tally.

Derek Kitchen handily beat his opponent and will replace outgoing Sen. Jim Dabakis in Utah Senate District 2, Avenues and Central Salt Lake City.

Democrat Kathleen Riebe beat newly-appointed Republican Utah Sen. Brian Zehnder in District 8, in Murray, Midvale.

In other election news:

Romney calls for respect, dignity of all in acceptance speech Unofficial election results in the U.S. Senate race from Utah show Mitt Romney with 61 percent of the vote to Wilson’s 33 percent. Three third-party candidates Tim Aalders, Craig Bowden and Reed McCandless combined for less than 6 percent of the vote.

In his acceptance speech last night, Romney said his election is a call for greater things in politics and in our political discourse.

“I believe it’s a call for greater dignity and respect. I believe it’s an affirmation that regardless of one’s gender or ethnicity or sexual orientation or race or place of birth, that we are equal, not only in the eyes of God, but also in the respect and dignity we are due from government and from our fellow Americans,” he said.

“I will be one of 100 United States Senators. But I believe that one person, doing the right thing at the right time can have a lasting impact,” he said. “I will work with good men and good women in both parties to serve the cause of America’s enduring greatness.”

Romney will replace retiring Sen. Orrin Hatch, who has been in the Senate since 1977.

Lee Castillo earns over 48,000 votes so far in congressional race While he did not end up as the winner of the First Congressional District race, openly gay Democratic candidate Lee Castillo brought in 48,372 so far, according to the Utah Lieutenant Governor’s Office. That is 24.43 percent of all votes counted at press time, to incumbent Republican Rep. Rob Bishop’s 62.81 percent.

United Utah candidate Eric Eliason gathered 11.05 percent of the vote and Green Party candidate Adam Davis garnered 1.72 of the vote. Castillo was not endorsed by Equality Utah.

“I am so humbled that over 48,000 people came out to vote for me,” Castillo said in a video post on his campaign’s Facebook page. “I take that as a win. I think that’s pretty awesome that they would vote for an openly gay, Hispanic Christian.”

He went on to thank Bishop and his team for treating him with respect and dignity, which he did not get from his Democratic opponent in the primary race.

“I do want to make a challenge to you, Congressman Bishop: I ask that you vote for the people of Utah,” he continued.

“People with pre-existing conditions should not be pushed aside because insurance companies don’t want to insure them. I ask that you consider the elderly when you’re asking them to take cuts to Social Security and Medicare.”

He then challenged the congressman to “bring back the humanity that has been missing.”

Castillo extolled his grassroots campaign, saying it went “so much further than I ever thought.”

He ended with a promise that he will be gathering all of his signs for his next run in two years.

November 15, 2018 |

Issue 288 | Qsaltlake.com

Mark Chambers loses his bid for the Utah State Senate in Southern Utah Mark Chambers, who owns Under the Eaves Bed and Breakfast in Springdale with his husband Joe Pitti, lost in his bid to replace Utah Sen. Evan Vickers. Chambers received 21 percent of the vote to Vickers’ 79. The Southern Utah district covers parts of Iron, Beaver, and Washington counties.

Vickers has been in the Utah Legislature since he was elected to the Utah House of Representatives in 2009 and then the Utah Senate in 2013.

In July, Chambers told the St. George Spectrum there needs to be less stigma about being a Democrat.

“I’ve got to tell you,” he said, “it’s easier to run as an openly gay man than to run as a Democrat.”

Chambers was also vocal when Southern Utah libraries removed LGBT-related displays during Pride month.

Vickers told the Spectrum, “[Chambers] was every bit the gentleman ... He was very cordial and accommodating. Every time we got together I enjoyed the interaction. We had a very above-board election process.”

Chambers posted a concession on his campaign’s Facebook page.

“Wow, thank you!” he wrote. “Although I won’t be headed to the legislature this has been one of the best experiences of my life. I have met so many incredible people and have hope in our future. Action does help!”

“Love you all, let’s catch our breath, pause, regroup, and then keep pushing hope along as we take care of each other, he continued.

Derek Kitchen handily wins state senate seat With a showing of over 77 percent of the votes, Derek Kitchen will become the next Utah state senator in January, replacing outgoing Sen. Jim Dabakis. His challenger, Chase Winder, received just under 23 percent of the vote. Utah State Senate District 2 encompasses the Avenues, Central City and University neighborhoods.

Kitchen posted a thank you note on his campaign’s Facebook page: Thank you for your support in my campaign. Thank you for believing in me.

And most of all, thank you for making your voices heard by voting and keeping democracy alive in Salt Lake City. This is such a crucial time to take action for the

sake of our communities, our state, and our country. This is the way we stand for our values.

Over the past six months, we have knocked on nearly 23,000 doors and contacted nearly 20,000 additional voters by phone to make sure they know that I’m here to fight for them. Thank you for every bit of support you’ve poured into this campaign, whether that be through donations, knocking doors, or voting for me. You are the reason I’m here today to serve Senate District 2.

My work, however, is just beginning. I will fight for clean air, affordable housing, infrastructure for our rapidly growing population, and everything Salt Lake City is aching for. I will stand for the rights of the diverse and vibrant LGBTQ+ com-

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 13

munity we have here in Utah, for gender equity, and for the rights of immigrants.

We are living in a dynamic political world where the old rules are out the window. For a district that is often considered the most “liberal” it’s interesting to note that most voters are “unaffiliated” or “independent”. And that is reflected in the conversations I had time and again with voters in this district. People want representation with results. Voters want action on Medicaid, affordable housing, air-quality, and community development that prioritizes socio-economic justice.

I am thrilled to be a voice in the legislature for Salt Lake City, and the great state of Utah. I look forward to finding common ground on the issues facing our growing community. Onward! Q

14 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

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Issue 288 |

November 15, 2018

Study: ‘Shocking’ number of LGBT Mormons display PTSD symptoms

BY JOHN HALES

Messages and teachings that come from the LDS Church regarding sexuality and gender identification may be causing LGBT members of the church to suffer post-traumatic stress disorder at a rate nearly 10 times higher than the general population. What’s more, those members experience “spiritual trauma” and the PTSD-like symptoms that arise from it regardless of how “faithful” they are, suggested the research of a University of Georgia graduate student.

It may come as no surprise that the church’s teachings have adverse effects on its LGBT members. But how much the risk of PTSD increases for such people is, in the words of Brian William Simmons, “outrageous.”

“The thing that shocked me, as well as my committee members, is the number of participants who likely would have experienced PTSD,” Simmons said, regarding the results of his study as published in his doctoral dissertation, “Coming Out Mormon.”

“This population is experiencing trauma at a rate far higher than we expected. It’s big enough that we need to be concerned,” Simmons said during an interview with QSaltLake Magazine on Thursday, Nov. 8.

In his 2017 study, Simmons examined survey responses of 278 self-identified LGBT adults who are or had been members of the church. The study analyzed participants’ responses to 21 LDS teachings or “messages” regarding sexuality and gender identification, rating those messages on a scale from one (“extremely beneficial”) to five (“extremely damaging”).

“At the end of the day, the study participants overwhelmingly said these experiences were harmful,” said Simmons, who himself grew up “queer” (bisexual, he clarified with QSaltLake) as a sixth-generation Mormon in Spanish Fork.

With other carefully selected questions, Simmons linked those teachings to what he called “spiritual trauma”

experienced by the study’s participants, and then connected that trauma to the incidence of reported PTSD symptoms.

“These are people who had PTSD experiences specifically because of their Mormon upbringing or experiences,” he said.

While the study could not itself diagnose PTSD, it found that 73 percent of participants reported symptoms in the kinds of numbers and combinations that made a PTSD diagnosis “highly likely.”

whether, and to what degree, a person experienced spiritual trauma.

“Half of these people are still — still, at the time of the study — affiliated with the church,” Simmons said. “[But] their orthodoxy did not save them.”

While the study admittedly lacked the rigor and sampling method to be representative, Simmons said, “Anecdotally I can say that most people read the study and say, ‘Holy shit! That’s me.’”

Top psychologically damaging LDS teachings for LGBTQQA members LDS Teaching, Doctrine or Message

% of respondents who reported experiencing this message

Average ‘damaging impact’ of message, on a scale of 1–5 with 5 being extreme

I needed to change my sexual or gender identity to be acceptable before God

76.3%

4.52

Homosexuality was a sin

93.50%

4.49

Life-long celibacy was required for me to return to God

79.50%

4.46

A stronger belief in God would change my homosexuality or gender identity

82.40%

4.45

91%

4.38

Associating your gender or sexual identity with an addiction or other temptation

81.30%

4.38

God would punish me for my same-sex sexual behaviors

86.70%

4.37

I would be excommunicated for my same-sex sexual behaviors

80.60%

4.33

My sexual or gender identity would be changed after death

79.90%

4.15

I would not be exalted without heterosexual marriage

By comparison, that same percentage is 7 to 8 percent among adults generally, according to the American Psychiatric Association’s “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.”

Simmons found that study participants who only associated culturally or socially with the church could likely to suffer as much trauma and PTSD symptoms as those considered more “faithful.” The study looked at both how deeply a person internalized religious beliefs, and how closely or literally “orthodox” those beliefs aligned with LDS doctrine. Neither factor was significant in determining

Simmons said the intention of the study was neither to indict or impugn the church nor to defend it; He got blowback and accusations from both sides of that spectrum. But he says he hopes it helps to inform the church, especially leaders who counsel LGBT members. He also says he believes the church when it says it cares about all its members, including LGBT ones.

But at the same time, he said, “What the church is saying, it’s statements, are damaging. You may love this population with all of your heart, but what you’re saying to them is hurting.” Q

November 15, 2018 |

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 15

Issue 288 | Qsaltlake.com

TEA of Utah announces new board Utah’s leading transgender organization, Transgender Education Advocates of Utah (perhaps better known as TEA of Utah), has elected a new board.

Continuing in their role as executive director is CANDICE METZLER. Candice has been a leader in Utah’s transgender community for many years. She is a doctoral candidate at the University of Utah’s College of Social Work with a focus on LGBTQI populations. She is a clinical social worker in the UofU Bridge Training Clinic and the Utah Pride Center. Candice has worked with transgender, gender non-conforming, and gender questioning youth and young adults for more than five years through group facilitation, community support, and program development.

She is a consultant and public educator and has guest lectured on college and university campuses throughout Utah.

SUE ­ROBBINS was elected as board chair.

Robbins was most recently the board chair of the Utah Pride Center, leaving this month as her 2-year tenure came to an end due to term limits of the organization. Robbins is veteran with 20 years of service in the US Army working in satellite communications.

She identifies as a transgender woman and also as an intersex individual.

LUCAS FOWLER was selected as vice chair.

Fowler has been with TEA for two years and served as chair for 2018. Fowler is a software engineer, working mostly in the medical field. He has also been a panelist for the FanX Salt Lake Comic Convention, discussing topics from the queer community to Star Wars. He also helped found and then took on the position of Chair for the grassroots group supporting Barack Obama’s 2008 presidential campaign, Utah for Obama.

TEA of Utah supports the transgender community through advocacy, education, resources, and events. It has been involved in working towards educating legislators on the needs of the transgender and intersex communities as it applies to SB0138 Sex Marker Amendments bill that was presented in the Utah Senate for 2018 and is anticipated to return for the 2019 session.

Their vision statement is, “TEA of Utah envisions a Utah where trans people from all walks of life are able to live with dignity — free from discrimination, persecution, and violence.”

The board positions are in effect immediately as strategic planning is underway for the 2019 year. Q More information on TEA’s efforts in Utah can be found at teaofutah.org.

UMOCA accepting applications from LGBT teens The Utah Museum of Contemporary Art is accepting applications for its annual Out Loud program — a contemporary art workshop series for youth voices in the LGBTQIA+ community.

“Through explorations in contemporary art and the creation of a museum exhibition featuring their own artwork, students build their capacity for self-expression and cultivate a sense of agency as important contributors to our society,” Elly Baldwin, UMOCA’s

curator for public involvement said. “The program promotes a brave space for interactions with peers, mentors and the greater community, helping students build positive social connections and share their experiences with others.”

Students in grades 9 through 12 are encouraged to apply before Jan. 14. Q The course is no charge for accepted students. Space is limited. Apply at utahmoca.org/out-loud. For more information, contact Elly Baldwin at elly.baldwin@ utahmoca.org or call 801-328-4201 x124.

WASATCH Metropolitan Community Church

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16 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

views

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 288 | November 15, 2018

quotes “Come, woo me, woo me, for now I am in a holiday humor, and like enough to consent.”

— William Shakespeare

“I don’t need a holiday or a feast to feel grateful for my children, the sun, the moon, the roof over my head, music, and laughter, but I like to take this time to take the path of thanks less traveled.”

— Paula Poundstone

“Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log.”

— Ellen Degeneres

“My brother, little sister and I decorate the tree together, and every year we fight over who gets to hang our handmade childhood decorations.”

— Carly Rae Jepsen

“The two most joyous times of the year are Christmas morning and the end of school.”

— Alice Cooper

“I love my family but my family — they’re the type of people that never let you forget anything you ever did... I was in the first grade Christmas play — I’m playing Mary.

Now, during the course of the play, I dropped the baby Jesus... They still talk about this. I go to my family reunion, and one of my cousins just had a baby. So I’m like, ‘Oh, that’s a cute little baby. Let me hold the baby...’ And my aunt runs over, ‘Don’t you give her that baby! You know she dropped the baby Jesus!’”

— Wanda Sykes

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VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 17

Issue 288 | Qsaltlake.com

who’s your daddy

My perfect holiday gift guide

BY CHRISTOPHER KATIS

Looking

for the perfect holiday gift for the LGBTQ parent or their kid(s) in your life? Who’s Your Daddy has you covered! Every year I seek out new gift ideas specifically for gay families. Some of the ideas I receive are spot on. Others miss the mark.

Like the idea to put a natural toothpaste on the list. Toothpaste! That’s not even a good stocking stuffer.

But do you know what is?

Pride Condoms from SAY IT WITH CONDOMS. These whimsical stuffers are sure to make even the biggest Scrooge smile on Christmas morning.

Buy them online at sayitwithacondom.com.

By now, you know I’m a big believer in giving books as gifts. Check out Raised by Unicorns, an anthology of stories of people with LGBTQ parents, edited by Frank Lowe.

I See the Sun in the USA by Dedie King teaches kids about diversity and acceptance, including kids from gay families.

Love is Love by Ken Min about a boy with two dads is another excellent choice. But my favorite title has to be Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight by Dan Bucatinsky. You can find all these titles at THE KING’S ENGLISH BOOKSHOP — if they don’t have the book in stock, they’re happy to order it for you.

If clothing is more your style, you can pick up an organic cotton free-trade T-SHIRT corresponding to the book Love is Love for your lit-

tle one from Sat Nam babe at satnambabe.com, and because it’s free trade, you’re helping to alleviate poverty while improving working conditions.

CAFÉ PRESS always has some fun items like onesies announcing “My Mom is a Dykosaurus Rex,” or “Two Dads Are Better Than One.” For bigger kids, they offer some great T-shirts like “I Heart My Gay Dads” and “My Wife Got Me Pregnant.” ­cafepress.com/+gay-parents+gifts ZAZZLE also has some fun items ranging from pacifiers announcing “My Daddies Love Me” to little tutus emblazoned with “Mommies’ Little Princess.” They also offer a selection of birth announcements, and baby gift thank you cards appropriate for same-gender parents. zazzle. com/gay+parents+baby+gifts Another great idea is to DONATE TO A CHARITABLE ORGANIZATION that helps our community in honor of your favorite gay dads and moms. Locally, several great organizations can always use the cash to help with their efforts.

The UTAH PRIDE CENTER strives to unite, empower and celebrate the community while offering a safe space and multiple programs including one for family and youth. bit.ly/DonateUPC ENCIRCLE: LGBTQ+ FAMILY AND YOUTH RESOURCE CENTER is another great organization trying to help young gay people love themselves

and empower families. bit.ly/DonateEncircle You can’t go wrong with the UTAH AIDS FOUNDATION, which works to reduce HIV infections, improves the lives of people living with HIV/ AIDS, and offers low-cost STI testing. utahaids.org/donate You’ll be hardpressed to find a gay mom or dad who doesn’t love every second of being a parent — well, almost every second — but honestly, sometimes parenthood can make you feel disconnected from the LGBTQ community at large. To help alleviate

that alienation, try a gift that doesn’t come from a store.

Pick up the bill for a babysitter and grab cocktails with the moms. Host a regular dinner/ movie night for the dads and kids. Offer to treat the kids to a day out once a month — just you and them.

No matter who’s on your holiday list, I’m sure you’ll be able to find the perfect gift.

But don’t give them toothpaste. Trust me; no one wants to find a tube of toothpaste under the tree!

Happy holidays, everyone! Q

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18 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

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Issue 288 | November 15, 2018

lambda lore

Gay Utah in 1988

BY BEN WILLIAMS

The year 1988

saw the beginning of true cooperation between the various diverse elements within the “openly” gay and lesbian communities of Utah at a time before we had heterosexual allies or any political clout. Thirty years ago the general perception of gays, especially here in Utah was that we were to be feared and hated for our “immoral lifestyle” and as “recruitaers of youth.”

Gaay men were especially vilified as “purveyors of filth” and “spreaders of disease.”

We had the numbers to be a force to be reckoned with, but this virulent social climate, reinforced by church and state decrees, prevented all but a handful of folks who were willing to publicly identify with being gay.

The 1990 Census of Salt Lake County, Davis County, and Utah County showed a population of 1,185,000. Therefore, in 1988 it can be safely estimated that 90,000 or more homosexuals were living along the Wasatch Front if we did indeed make up 10 percent of the population.

However, most were part of an invisible population.

While the majority of homosexuals sought each other out in clandestine places for sex and romance or stayed closets of isolation, still others found support and a sense of community within the eight bars within Salt Lake City and Ogden and within a growing number of local organizations. The increase of members in these organizations were due in part to the ever-increasing fear of the AIDS epidemic.

The only information phoneline in Utah for homosexuals was the Gay Help Line, which was listed in the phone directory. It was operated by Beau Chaine and supported by the Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire and the Gay and Lesbian Community Council of Utah.

Calls logged by the helpline between

January and April 1988 were reported to the council and they indicated the priorities of the people 30 years ago who were seeking referrals or help.

Out of the 679 logged calls, 236 or 35 percent of them were seeking information about the bars. The next largest amounts of callers were simply hang-ups, making up 27 percent. These were the curious and people who were too afraid to talk to a real person. Forty-nine people sought counseling, 42 callers wanted information regarding any new organizations, 36 wanted information about the Mormon-centric Wasatch Affirmation, and 27 were referred to AIDS Project Utah.

Twenty-five callers wanted information about women’s groups which there was only Becky Moss’ newly formed First Thursday Women’s group. There was a women’s group known as Older and Wiser Lesbians, but it was generally a closed group. Women on Wheels was an activity group also that was guarded about who was invited.

Twenty-two calls were logged in as non-bar calls, whatever that meant.

Twenty wanted information on Garth Chamberlain’s newly formed youth group, and 14 sought out information on national groups.

Seven callers requested information on Gay Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and seven people wanted to know about “transvestite and transsexual”

organizations, of which there were none. These callers were referred to the RCGSE, which had a number of drag queens as they were felt they were most knowledgeable about cross-dressing and gender orientation issues. There were three calls referred to Michael Aaron’s Anti-Violence Project, three referrals to a Mormon parent support groups called People Who Care, and three more to Steve Brackenbury’s newly formed Gay Fathers support group. There were even two calls seeking information about the Gay Mormon Restoration Church. People Who Care was a Mormon support group for parents who had gay children and was not an advocacy group.

Organizations loosely associated with the bar community 30 years ago were the RCGSE, the Wasatch Leathermen, the Knights of Malta, and the Gay Rodeo Association.

There were two college Lesbian and Gay Student Unions, one located at the University of Utah and one at the Salt Lake Community College. An unofficial group for gay men was formed by students attending BYU and Utah Valley Community College. Geoff McGraff formed a support group called the Utah Valley Men’s Group for non-heterosexual men. The group was too afraid to use the word gay. Another group loosely connected with students and faculty at Utah State University in Logan was the Gay/ Lesbian Alliance of Cache Valley.

Besides the Restoration Church, of which Bob McIntier was president, there was Metropolitan Community Church with Pastor Rev. Bruce Barton that also had an outreach to the gay community.

Wasatch Affirmation was the largest support group for gay Mormons.

The only secular organization not affiliated either the bars or academia was Unconditional Support for Gays and Lesbians of which I was the director. Unconditional Support, LGSU, Affirmation, and MCC held a series of joint community dances for the youth group and others.

Unconditional Support also sponsored the 1st three-day weekend workshop

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Issue 288 | Qsaltlake.com

retreat at a YMCA camp near Kamas.

The Gay and Lesbian Community Council of Utah had found its purpose by 1988 and became the main clearinghouse for most of the community organizations. It also sponsored the Anti-Violence Project, an AIDS subcommittee, and the Utah Pride Day of which Floyd Gamble was elected its director. Pride Day was held in Sunnyside Park and a community service award was given to Dr. Kristen Ries for her humanity working with AIDS patients.

The award would afterward be named for her.

The Desert and Mountain States Conference was a political organization whose Utah delegates met with delegates from Nevada, Idaho, Wyoming, Colorado, New Mexico, and Arizona to network and share concerns that were unique to the Intermountain West as opposed to the West and East Coasts. The 1988 Conference was held in Denver.

AIDS organizations in 1988 were the AIDS Project Utah, of which Richard Starley was the director and the Salt Lake AIDS Foundation of which Ben Barr was the director.

By the end of 1988 APU had closed its doors and the SLAF took over support for APU’s clients and eventually adopted the name the Utah AIDS Foundation. John Gatzmeyer ran a support group based on teachings of Louise Hay called the Loving Yourself Group.

The Utah AIDS Commemorative Quilt Project was an organization that tried to promote the making of quilt panels for people who had died of AIDS.

Even with all these organizations and our gay and lesbian bars, there was still not much of a sense of a vibrant community. In October I had asked a question at Unconditional Support, whether we were really a gay community or only individual people who happen to be homosexuals.

I was surprised that even among the gays who were out of the closet, two-thirds of those attending the meeting still rejected the idea that Salt Lake City had a viable gay community.

The greatest inhibitor to the idea of an energetic gay community was mainly internal and external homophobia.

At the time there had been a hope that the Mormon Church leaders were willing to have a dialog with us about homosexuality as Alan Gundry was touted as the church’s liaison between the Department of Homosexual Concerns and Affirmation.

Instead, it was a false hope as that in 1988 “unofficially” the Mormon Church supported the Evergreen Foundation and its claims of success in “reorientation therapy” as a cure for homosexuality.

It was ironic that nationally, an evangelical Christian movement called Exodus which supported the gay reorientation organization, had refused to work with Mormon leaders who were also anti-gay. These Christian groups viewed Mormons as being members of the Satanic Cult of the Devil and therefore Evergreen was formed using Mormon theology to cure gay Mormons in Utah. Q

QSaltLake replaces the trees we use.

Twice.

The paper mill we buy our paper from plants a new tree for every tree they use. But that wasn’t enough for us.

We have partnered with the National Forest Foundation to plant an additional tree for every tree used to produce QSaltLake Magazine.

So, for every tree we use, TWO trees are planted.

Fires, insects and disease outbreaks are jeopardizing the majestic trees that grow in our forests from Maine to California. That’s why we have joined the National Forest Foundation’s ambitious effort to plant 50 million trees across our National Forests by 2023.

The National Forest Foundation is investing in healthy forests for today and for future generations. With QSaltLake’s help, they will restore tens of thousands of acres of wildlife habitat, from the longleaf pine forests of Florida to the cedar groves of Alaska.

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20 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

creep of the month

Donald Trump

BY D’ANNE WITKOWSKI

There is

a group of about 4,000 people walking from Honduras toward the United States. Donald Trump and the Republicans would like you to believe this is an invading army. It isn’t. It’s by and large unarmed people fleeing violence and poverty. These are asylum seekers, not invaders.

But, of course, to Republicans there is no difference.

It’s now being reported that Trump intends to send over 5,000 troops to the Mexican border. Not to provide humanitarian aid, mind you. The troops are much more likely to kill these asylum seekers than to help them.

“We do not have any intention right now to shoot at people,” Trump’s Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen said about the troops.

“But I also take my officer and agents, their own personal safety, extraordinarily seriously. They do have the ability of course to defend themselves.”

You don’t even have to read between the lines to translate this: “We reserve the right to shoot at people because we can and no matter what happens it will be totally justified.”

This show of force against vulnerable people is how the Trump administration rolls, of course.

I often hear people remark that they can’t believe Trump’s approval level is so high (and for most people anything above zero is too high). They can’t understand why anyone would have voted for Trump in the first place, and they certainly can’t understand how he still has so

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many fervent supporters. The New York Times has spent a billion or so words on trying to figure out the enigmatic Trump supporter. But, really, it’s not complicated. Trump promised his supporters that he would make their lives better and that he would hurt the people they didn’t like.

He has, of course, not made their lives better, but that’s the thing: they never expected him to. Trump fanatics don’t believe that government CAN make someone’s life better.

Republicans have been spreading the idea for decades that government is bad and has no role in bettering our lives or societies. Bettering one’s life happens through personal responsibility, not working toward a collective good.

What Trump has done, and has done really well, is hurt people. Specifically some of the most vulnerable populations of Americans: transgender people, Blacks, Mexicans, “Middle Easterners” (a term Trump used to warn of the dangerous people he said are in the asylum-seeking caravan), the Chinese, Jews, Muslims.

The list goes on and on, but the commonality is that these are people that Trump’s base doesn’t like. So they are more than happy to see government being used as a weapon since it is apparently not capable of anything else.

Meanwhile yet another white man radicalized right here in the United States opened fire at a synagogue in Pittsburgh killing 11. And why did he do it? Because he believed what Trump said: that the caravan was full of dangerous people and was

Issue 288 | November 15, 2018

funded by outside groups including George Soros, a man who has lots of money and gives it to progressive causes and candidates and who is, wouldn’t you know it, Jewish.

The shooter’s posts on social media indicated an obsession with the caravan by a man who was wildly anti-Semitic. Right before the mass murder he was railing on social media against the Hebrew Immigrant Aid Society, a group he believed to be helping the caravan.

“HIAS likes to bring invaders in that kill our people,” Bowers posted. “I can’t sit by and watch my people get slaughtered. Screw your optics, I’m going in.”

And that’s exactly what he did, armed and ready to kill.

Adam Serwer put it best in The Atlantic: “The apparent spark for the worst anti-Semitic massacre in American history was a racist hoax inflamed by a U.S. president seeking to help his party win a midterm election.”

In other words, in Trump’s attempt to shore up his racist base so that they’d get out and vote for Republicans, he spurred one of his followers to enact real-life violence that had deadly consequences.

There are many things we can do to combat hated and violence, but one of the easiest is to vote for people who reject it. Make a plan to vote on Nov. 6 and in every election for the rest of your life. Q D’Anne Witkowski is a poet, writer and comedian living in Michigan with her wife and son. She has been writing about LGBT politics for over a decade. Follow her on Twitter @MamaDWitkowski.

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mr. manners

Holiday traditions Looking

BY ROCK MAGEN

back on my family’s southern holiday traditions, I’m filled with a nostalgic blend of happiness and hazy remembrance. I can’t always remember every detail, but the impression of holiday traditions glide past, all accompanied by neighborhood lights, fragrant evergreen needles, and a kitchen filled with treats. While some holiday traditions remain the same year after year, it’s never too late to start a new tradition with family and friends. While not all members of our LGBT+ community may have fond memories of the holidays, I want to share a few of my traditions which you may choose to adopt and help make new memories of the holiday season.

During the holiday, the delicious aroma of baked cookies fills my home. With all of the recipes that exist, baking cookies for friends and family is something that is easy to enjoy. My family used to store them in decorative tins — as tasty gifts to send home with guests and holiday visitors.

But cookies are not the only fun treat to have during the holidays. I love on a cold evening to have a hot cocoa and S’mores night! One of the best holiday parties I ever attended served hot chocolate (with the appropriate adult mix-ins) and a full assortment of items to be used for making S’mores! When I think back on this event, it reminds me of how a rather simple arrangement made a lasting memory.

Just goes to show that making memories doesn’t have to be a complicated ordeal.

But, the holidays are not all about parties. Another thing I like to do during the holiday season is to volunteer.

In past years, I have taken the opportunity to volunteer at the community food bank, or sought other opportunities to give back with a group of friends. With busy schedules, this doesn’t always happen, so some years I have simply donated items to those in need.

Donating items at this time of year has long been a tradition for my family. I remember my mother telling us that we needed to donate our old toys as a way to make way for the new presents Santa was going to bring. Not only were her tactics helping her keep a clean home, but she was also laying the foundation for her family to be more focused on giving to others.

The last tradition I would like to share is going to see the holiday lights. It’s a rather simple tradition and goes as follows — Step one: Bundle up and pile in the car. Step two: Drive around town to look at the houses covered in holiday lights. Step three: Ooh and aah. Not very complicated, but it gives you the experience to share with loved ones. And isn’t that what the holidays are about?

No matter what you decide to do this holiday season, take the time to make new memories and start a few new traditions that you’ll look forward to year after year. I hope that you all have a wonderful holiday season — I look forward to speaking to you in the new year! Q

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Issue 288 | November 15, 2018

2018 HOLIDAY SHOPPING GUIDE

We once again bring you local small- and micro-business and organization offerings for your shopping list.

Since 1935, Wasatch Presbyterian Church has sponsored BOY SCOUT UTAH TROOP 38, an all-inclusive scouting unit of Boy Scouts of America. The scouting unit has always been all-inclusive in regard to race, religious affiliation, ability, disability, and sexual orientation.

A few years ago, they started accepting girls into the troop.

The troop is selling 28-INCH MIXED EVERGREEN WREATHS and holiday reindeer sets as part of their holiday fundraiser. The wreath is made from noble fir, berried juniper, incense cedar, and complemented with red faux holly berries and bow. These large full wreaths are available for $40 each. The HOLIDAY REINDEER SETS are 2 hand-made metal reindeer, wrapped with twine, and finished with miniature wreaths. Reindeer Sets are $20 each. These items are available for pre-order purchase by calling 801-542-9502 or emailing Troop38@gmail.com.

GRANATOS ITALIAN DELI, KITCHEN & MARKET is more than sandwiches. They are also the place to go for a huge variety of olive oils, Italian meats, cheeses, and olives.

Our suggestion for this holiday gift guide is their creative and beautiful baskets of kitchenware and italian foods.

Two locations: 4044 S 2700 East, Holladay, 801-277-7700, 1632 S Redwood Rd 801-433-0940

You will gasp as you walk into QUALITY FLOWERS AND PLANTS at the sea of ­POINSETTIAS. Thousands of them in many sizes and colors, starting at just $6.99. Grocery and big box stores cannot compete with the quality of these plants. 1046 E. 3300 South

NATIVE FLOWER COMPANY is a local, full-service Salt Lake City florist offering the finest in uniquely-designed, custom flower arrangements delivered to your door. Native uses the freshest, most beautiful seasonal blooms for business or home, complete wedding flower package or a unique bouquet for special occasions.

The CLAY ARTS UTAH annual Holiday Pottery Sale is a great place to pick up some beautiful pottery and other clay work from any of 25 artists. It will be held on Black Friday (and Saturday) Nov. 23–24 at the Sugarhouse Park Garden Center, 1602 E. 2100 South, from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Parking and admission are free. Purchases support the arts education programs Clay Arts Utah, a 501(c)3 charitable organization.

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HOLIDAY SHOPPING GUIDE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 23

YARDBARKIN HANDCRAFTED SMALL BATCH HOT SAUCES are the love child of wives Deb Nahvi and Mindy Bridges. They founded the company with the sole vision of supporting local animal rescues through the sale of their products. They use local ingredients when at all possible. They can be found at Wheeler’s Farm, Even Stevens, and by emailing yardbarkin@gmail.com or calling 801-865-2954.

Along with growing their own food, the NUNS OF THE CARMELITE MONASTERY OF SALT LAKE CITY put up hundreds of pounds of jam and make thousands of pounds of candies year-round. The sisters make every batch of jam by hand, using no pectin or preservatives except for lemon juice and just enough sugar to make a gel. Carmelite Monastery, is at 5714 Holladay Blvd., Holladay. 801-277-6075.

Kent Zeller is ZBEES HONEY CONFECTIONS. He says his best and most popular gift item is his huckleberry whipped honey. He also offers raspberry, cinnamon, peanut butter, mild clover (plain honey) and two sauces — caramel and butterscotch. He has honey in two bear containers, 1lb jars, and 12oz honey bears, and a whole variety of honey sticks and candles. Contact him at ­zbeeshoneyconfections@gmail.com.

Four generations of Hatches have been hand-dipping chocolate since 1917. Speed and mass production have resulted in the development of “copies”, but can never replace the uniqueness of the real thing.

HATCH FAMILY ­CHOCOLATES is a huge supporter of our community. Order at hatchfamilychocolates. com or stop by 376 8th Ave.

Pop by LISA’S ­PASSION FOR ­POPCORN for a a variety of popcorn flavors made your way — and you can alsov learn the popcorn flavors that correspond with your Zodiac sign. Cooool!.

Shop online at Lisapassionforpopcorn.com or call 801.544.4255

24 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | HOLIDAY SHOPPING GUIDE

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THE OLD FLAMINGO is a store for the quality- and style-conscious consumer. Providing unique, eclectic and affordable home accents and gifts, as well as personalized design services and custom work. Perfect for this holiday season are Stone River Soaps made locally in Coalville, UT from the cutest little goats {milk} you ever did see! 3474 S. 2300 East and 801-274-3474.

Everyone who has skin will love a vegan handmade bar of soap.

Everyone who has skin will love a hydrating face and body oil.

Jen at OLIO SKIN & BEARD CO. can put together a basket or a set that interests you. They have body products, tattoo products, body butter, beard products and bath products. Beard set: $30 gets a comb, beard and face oil and a balm. Basic skincare set is a hydrating oil and salt mask. Olioskin.com

MAKING SCENTS was founded by Larry Baird in 2000 when he was unsatisfied with the limited variety of body products on the market and began to make his own unique blends. After selling Making Scents products online for several years, the Making Scents retail store opened in October 2009. Making Scents is renowned for its high quality products, creative customizations and continually evolving product line. Bath bombs, lotions, soaps, sprays and more.

Visit their store at 290 25th St, Ogden, or order online at mkngscnts.com

GRANDMA MARY’S mission is to educate on the art of soapmaking ... even in your own home! They create items that give back to the community with large orders if needed to help with non-profit fundraisers. They feature other art designers and services who provide support to fundraisers and they offer LGBT Pride accessories.

They have red wine and rasberry or blueberry infused red wine soaps, along with white wine peach with wine sourced locally and peaches fresh from Brigham City.

Bars are $5 or 5 for $20 mix and match They can bring your order to the Kilted Groomer on 15th & 15th or arrange to get to you by emailing trinaspridedesigns@yahoo.com

November 15, 2018 |

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HOLIDAY SHOPPING GUIDE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 25

From beard balms and oils to colognes and combs to lip balms and apparel, BEARD CARE CLUB is great one-stop shopping for your body and hair needs. They also have a Scent of the Month Club. For the gals, there’s an array of Bearded Lady hair oils and gift boxes available at 15 N Center St, Elsinore, Utah, 888-995-1011, or beardcareclub.com

grandtheatrecompany.com

Rosie has decided to share her wardrobe with friends.

She has hundreds of handknitted sweaters for sale just waiting to keep some fellow chalupas warm.

Check ROSIE’S ­WARDROBE out at fb.me/rosieswardrobeslc or email her at slcdoggrrl@live. com

Gay Mormon Dad

A MEMOIR CH AD ANDER SON

Available Now on Kindle or in Paperback at Amazon.com

Chad Anderson grew up gay in a large Mormon family. After years of trying to conform to religious standards, which promised a cure for homosexuality, he married and had children before finally coming out of the closet. Gay Mormon Dad is his story of finally learning to love himself in a complicated world. Chad currently resides with his two sons in Salt Lake City, where he works as a social worker and a writer.

Order now at bit.ly/GayMormonDad

26 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | HOLIDAY SHOPPING GUIDE

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 288 | November 15, 2018

Cuddle up on your next plane trip with a luxurious blanket from BLANKETS BY BRIAN, run by Brian Severson. Or pamper your pet with a beautiful pet bed slip cover with a draw string/elastic to keep it in place. Brian also makes faux fur bags, scarves, wraps and custom designs — even for kids and babies.

Call 385-900-8668, shop online at blanketsbybrian.com or go to Facebook at fb.me/BlanketsByBrian/.

Salt Lake artist KRISTOPHER SCOTT will do custom pieces and those you can find at ­instagram.com/k.scott_art

To be a “sexy Susan” it must be made from reclaimed material.

The turntable (lazy Susan) has a rich history of design and functionality with most people having seen, used or owned one somewhere in their family. IRON ROSE COLLECTION’s sexy Susans work hard on a table, counter, kitchen island, ottoman, patio table or anywhere else and can be displayed on a wall as functional art when not needed elsewhere. They craft barrel heads into several different products: Sexy Susan, Wall art, Clocks, Serving trays, Mirrors, and Light Fixtures.

They also use the remaining material of the wine and whisky barrels to craft beautiful spoons, spreaders, and other products. They donate remaining material for firewood to an organization who supports Hopi outreach.

Keith and Gary are at 36 W. Fayette Ave. #7 by appointment at 801-633-5881. More info is available at ironrosecollection.com or fb.me/ ironrosecollection/ or 801-633-5881.

November 15, 2018 |

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HOLIDAY SHOPPING GUIDE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 27

25 talented Utah artists

CLAY

ARTS

UTAH

holiday

POTTERY SALE NOVEMBER 23 & 10AM - 5PM JOHNNY VEGAS, of Salt Lake City, creates soft, comfortable, cotton jersey t-shirt scarves, and necklaces, for men and women.

All are handmade, and dyed by him, with the exception of upcycled items. Cozy and warm, colorful and cheerful. His store is at etsy.com/shop/JohnnyVegasOriginals

Trans activist Dallas Ian runs LGBTEES & QUEER GEAR where he sells LGBT-related t-shirts at events and Prides. He donates many shirts to LGBT youth and has donated, and paid to ship, shirts to a Kenyan LGBT refugee camp to help their plans to hold a Pride of their own. You can find Dallas at the Urban Flea Market Sunday, Dec. 9, by emailing him at dallas.ian5@gmail. com, or messaging him through Facebook at fb.me/ian.rivas5.

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Sugarhouse Park Garden Center 1602 E 2100 S

handmade pottery jewelry ceramic sculptures & gifts

28 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | HOLIDAY SHOPPING GUIDE

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Issue 288 | November 15, 2018

2018 HOLIDAY SHOPPING GUIDE (CONTINUED)

Everything from Angels to Zen Bountiful’s Konor Rockhill began working on metaphysical orgonite energy healing when he was younger with questions about what life was. “You look long enough and ask that question so many times you end up coming across energy at some point or another,” he said. Using the studies of Wilhelm Reich on orgone energy, he began to develop energy healing technologies. He now runs SPIRIT ELEVATIONS making by hand orgonite pyramids and pendants, and other healing devices that incorporate archangel metatron and the merkaba with light body ascension and activations. Find his shop at etsy.com/shop/SpiritElevations

12896 S Pony Express Rd Suite 200 in Draper (just north of IKEA) 801.333.3777 www.ilovelotus.com

LotusStore

GAY WRITES The next time you are anywhere near IKEA in Draper, stop by the incredible store called LOTUS. There, you will find all things from angels to zen, including lucky bamboo, metaphysical books, jewelry, incence and burners and more. Look online at ilovelotus.com, call 801-333-3777, or drop by 12896 S Pony Express Rd, Draper.

A DiverseCity Series writing group A program of Salt Lake Community College’s Community Writing Ctr. The group meets the 2nd and 4th Monday of each month, 6:30-8 pm, Salt Lake City Library Square, 210 E. 400 South, Ste. 8, Salt Lake.

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Issue 288 | Qsaltlake.com

BIRDS OF A FEATHER

When you flock together this holiday season, we’ll bring the FLOWERS.

Sylvia Nibley has created a set of INQUIRY CARDS, a deck with cards that ask YOU the questions. She says that we humans have a habit of looking OUTside ourselves, especially for the big things, like love and power and answers to our most challenging questions. And that gets us into all kinds of trouble.

So the purpose of this deck is to turn that around and practice looking INside ourselves for answers and in the process train the mind to ask better questions.

Read more at inquirycards.com

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BY QSALTLAKE READERS IN THE 2008–2017 FABBY AWARDS

Winning more awards than any other sushi restaurant in Salt Lake City. Fabby winner!

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CONCERTS

SPECIAL ENGAGEMENTS

The SALT LAKE MEN’S CHOIR presents their 37th annual Christmas concert: Remembering Decembers. Awww, it’s all about me! Thank you, Dennis. The choir sings Christmas music from many genres: classical, swing, contemporary, sacred, humorous, and always with a smile on their faces. This year the choir is joined by an orchestra, full brass section, and the First Baptist Church’s incredible pipe organ.

Out singer-songwriter, JOHN GRANT had a checkered past but since his debut solo album, Queen of Denmark, he’s grown as an outspoken man with HIV. He’s also fast becoming a bear icon. But most appealing, some might say, is his incredible songwriting. Songs like “Queen of Denmark” and “Guess How I Know” are putting Grant on a fast track to stardom.

Kurt Bestor says about the 2018 A KURT BESTOR CHRISTMAS, “As a musician, I resonate with everything happening around me and I can’t help but feel intense sadness about the anger, war, and poverty I see in the world. But if ever there was a year that needed more ‘Peace on Earth, Good Will to Mankind’ it would be this year. I hope to give my audiences a few hours of that peace and the love of the season.” Makes my nipples hard, just sayin’!

Well just more queenie stuff to do before the new year. A night with QUEEN NATION is a crazy little thing called love.

Tony’s Gay 7 Agenda 12

FRIDAY — SLMC: REMEMBERING DECEMBERS

Friday–Sunday at First Baptist Church, 777 S. 1300 East, times vary, Monday at St. Luke’s Episcopal Church in Park City. Tickets $15, brownpapertickets.com

WEDNESDAY — JOHN GRANT

The State Room, 638 S. State St., 8 p.m. Tickets $27, thestateroom.com

BY TONY HOBDAY

Issue 288 | November 15, 2018

DRAG SHOWS The Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire annual SNOWBALL fundraising event this year is a drag-cabaret style show with a couple of fantastical themes. The evening includes dinner and a silent auction. All proceeds benefit the RCGSE PWA Christmas Fund.

A DRAG QUEEN CHRISTMAS — THE NAUGHTY TOUR flaunts a hilarious evening of holiday performances featuring undisclosed contestants from RuPaul’s Drag Race. Christmas this year will the cattiest yet! A VIP ticket includes premium reserved seat in the first few rows on the main floor, plus meet all the queens and take pics (before the show), score autographs, and receive an official tour poster and customized laminate with lanyard. You must check-in at the box office upon arrival at the venue to receive your tour swag. Meet & Greet starts at 6 p.m. sharp and concludes when the line ends.

On NEW YEAR’S EVE ring in the new year with LATRICE ROYALE, Gia Bianca Stephens, Molly Mormon, Kay Bye, London Skies, Willard, Marrlo Suzzane, Mariška Katastrofa, DJ Shutter, DJ Justin Hollister. Bitches, please! This party will most definitely leave you hurting well into May 2019.

Fabulous!

Salt Lake City’s monthly circuit night, SKYFALL, will be DJ’d in November by RuPaul’s Drag Race fan favorite NINA FLOWERS at Fantasy Night.

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SUNDAY (NOV.) — NINA FLOWERS AT SKYFALL’S FANTASY NIGHT

Skyfall SLC, 149 W. Pierpont Ave., 9:30 p.m. Tickets $10–20 at bit.ly/skyfallFantasy

SUNDAY — SNOWBALL: A NIGHT IN OZ; SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES

Black Box Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 5 p.m. Tickets $20, artsaltlake.org

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SATURDAY — A DRAG QUEEN CHRISTMAS — THE NAUGHTY TOUR

The Depot, 13 N. 400 West, 7 p.m. Tickets $35–50/VIP $150, smithstix.com

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MONDAY — NYE WITH LATRICE ROYALE

Metro Music Hall, 615 W. 100 South, 9 p.m.

Tickets $20, 24tix.com

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THURSDAY — A KURT BESTOR CHRISTMAS

Delta Performance Hall, Eccles Theater, 131 S. Main St., times vary through Saturday. Tickets $25–50, artsaltlake.org

WEDNESDAY — QUEEN NATION

Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main St., Park City, 8 p.m., through Friday. Tickets $35–50, egyptiantheatrecompany.com

THEATRE Enjoy two charming operettas to get you in the Christmas spirit! First, we meet AMAHL and his mother. When the three kings, on their way to witness the birth of Christ, stop at their door, Amahl learns that generosity and compassion are among the greatest gifts we can give. Then enjoy a musical adaptation of the beloved Dickens classic, created by Utah locals Mike Leavitt and Anthony Buck.

CAROLINE, OR CHANGE is an Olivier Award-winning musical written by Tony Kushner (Angels in America). It’s late 1960, and warm for November in Louisiana. The southern air is thick with the tensions of a changing nation. Caroline continues her work as a maid in the muggy basement of the Gellmans, a Jewish family still rocked by the sudden death of a wife, and mother. Embittered by the limitations of her blackness and tired from a life of servitude, she finds little joy in her life. When she asks for a raise her bosses are unable to give, Caroline finds every relationship in her life strained to the point of breaking.

In Topher Payne’s biting comedy, PERFECT ARRANGEMENT, it’s 1950 and new colors are being added to the Red Scare. Two U.S. State Department employees, Bob and Norma, have been tasked with identifying sexual deviants within their ranks. The twist: Both Bob and Norma are gay, and have married each other’s partners as a carefully constructed cover.

Inspired by the true story of the earliest stirrings of the American gay rights movement, madcap I Love Lucy sitcom-style laughs give way to provocative drama as two “all-American” couples are forced to stare down the closet door, confronting the same struggles facing society today.

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THURSDAY(NOV.) — AMAHL AND THE NIGHT VISTORS & A CHRISTMAS CAROL

Grand Theatre, Salt Lake Community College, 1575 S. State St., times vary through Saturday. Tickets $10–20, grandtheatrecompany.com

THURSDAY(NOV.) — CAROLINE, OR CHANGE

Good Company Theatre, 2404 Wall Ave., Ogden, times vary through Dec. 9. Tickets $20, goodcotheatre.com

FRIDAY(NOV.) — PERFECT ARRANGEMENT

An Other Theater Company, 1200 Towne Centre Blvd., Provo, times vary through Dec. 22. Tickets $12–14, anothertheatercompany.com

November 15, 2018 |

Issue 288 | Qsaltlake.com

John Grant’s new high

BY TONY HOBDAY

John Grant

is not your typical singer-songwriter. Born in Michigan in 1968, he was brought up in an orthodox Methodist household, at odds with his emerging sexuality. In high school, he was, on occasion, bullied both physically and emotionally by fellow students.

It took Grant until his mid-20s to feel comfortable with being gay.

“Being in school, whenever I laughed or smiled I would turn to find someone staring at me with this terrible hatred and disgust,” Grant said in an interview with The Guardian. “I had to control everything — control my voice, control my facial expressions, control my hair and my clothes, and where I walked and where I sat — at every moment. I think that drove me to terrible anxiety.”

And said anxiety lead Grant down a dangerous road of unsafe sex, drugs, and copious amounts of alcohol. While he eventually kicked the bottle in 2004, it only pushed Grant wholeheartedly to sex and cocaine-fueled parties.

Eventually, Grant moved to Germany to study. On his return to Colorado, he started a band, The Czars. While the band’s albums were admired by critics, the public laid silent. And tensions among the bandmates resulted in disbandment after 12 years.

In 2010, Grant debuted his solo career with Queen of Denmark. Described as a “deeply personal album,” it explores Grant’s struggles with alcohol and drug addiction as well as his personal struggle to reconcile his sexuality.

The reveling in the success of the album, however, didn’t last long for Grant.

In 2011, he learned he contracted HIV. “In my particular situation it’s not very pleasant to have to admit that the fact I have HIV is because I was living in a fantasy world where I didn’t matter at all,” he told The Sydney Morning Herald in 2016. “I was messing around with my life and indulging in destructive behaviors and ended up getting a disease that could have totally been avoided. When I look at the fact that there are millions of children in Africa with HIV, who never got to choose, it makes me need to figure out why I let that happen to myself.”

But Grant is turning his life around, living his truth, and writing critically acclaimed songs. And he incorporates a love for synth pop and industrial music on 2015’s Grey Tickles, Black Pressure, and 2018’s Love Is Magic. “‘Is He Strange’ is a pure love song about how you cannot own or possess another person,” Grant said in the interview. “It’s about letting go of someone you still love and moving on and also how it is possible to continue to love while you are letting go. Much easier said than done.”

Critic Mary Anne Hobbs says Grant’s songs can be painfully self-aware. “Most songwriting, even if it’s based on a true story ... is embellished in some way. But John’s lyrics — they’re so true they might as well be written in blood.”

Pioneering singer and broadcaster Tom Robinson was one of the first rockers to come out as gay and mix music with LGBTQ liberation. He says Grant’s 2015 album, Grey Tickles, Black Pressure, exudes a powerful confidence.

“If I had heard a song like ‘Snug Slacks’ when I was a gay teenager in the ’60s, I think he could have saved me 10 or 15 years of heartache and pain,” Robinson says. “It’s so great to hear somebody making music

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this unashamed and yet this irresistible.”

Grant received a Best International Male Solo Artist nomination at the 2014 BRITS alongside Eminem and Justin Timberlake. Sinead O’Connor and Tracey Thorn have guested on Grant’s records, and he’s sung live with Alison Goldfrapp and Kylie Minogue. He recorded the “Kindling” duet with Elbow then went on to tour with them in spring 2018. His music has been used in films such as Andrew Haigh’s drama Weekend and Daisy Asquith’s Queerama. In 2016, he fronted BBC Radio 4’s Reimagining The City,

taking listeners around Reykjavik, where Grant has lived since 2012; in April 2017 he curated North Atlantic Flux: Sounds from Smoky Bay in Hull, showcasing thrilling and innovative musicians from Scandinavia and Iceland.

Grant speaks four languages: Spanish, Russian, German, and Swedish. He is also an avid collector of films and his latest songs are littered with references to Madeline Kahn, Geraldine Page, and Angie Dickinson.

Whether younger or older than he, John Grant, as an artist and a person should not be taken for granted. Q Grant will perform Dec. 12 at The State Room, 638 S. State St., 8 p.m. Tickets $27, thestateroom.com

32 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | Q&A

Still Here, Queer, and Slaying ‘The Girl in the Spider’s Web’ actress Claire Foy on objecting to a lesbian sex scene and being bi in ‘Unsane’

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

A pansexual

man-avenger returns – this time, with English actress Claire Foy sporting the Swedish computer-hacker Lisbeth Salander’s leather gear and trademark dragon tattoo. Based on the novel from David Lagercrantz, written after original author Stieg Larsson’s sudden death, the second installment in the American-produced Millennium film series, The Girl in the Spider’s Web, positions Foy’s Lisbeth as a Bond-like anti-hero. Gayer, though. And with so many dildos.

Foy’s latest big-screen turn follows two other memorable lead roles this year, in Steven Soderbergh’s unnerving thriller Unsane and the Neil Armstrong (portrayed by Ryan Gosling) biopic First Man, starring as his wife, Janet Armstrong. On the small screen, the 34-year-old actress took the throne as Queen Elizabeth II for two seasons of Netflix’s The Crown, which garnered her an Emmy and a Golden Globe in the best actress categories.

Here, Foy discusses that dildo scene, talking Spider’s Web director Fede Álvarez out of gratuitous lesbian sex, and why there’s an “ease” and an “openness” to kissing her female co-stars.

Queer Eye star Jonathan Van Ness stepped in when you and your two guests couldn’t get into the Governors Ball after the Emmys this year. In life, do gay men tend to have your back? (Laughs giddily) Best question I’ve ever been asked — ever! We can’t get better than that. I don’t know!

I mean, I would hate to speak for all gay men; I think that’s something you’d have to ask all gay men. There are several of them in my life who I feel have my back, which is lovely. And I have theirs.

Do you cry while watching Queer Eye like the rest of us? Oh my god, it’s sort of like watching – have you ever watched One Born Every Minute where you watch

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someone give birth? It’s like watching that, because every time you watch it, you start going, “I’ll be fine with this one, this one’s fine, there’s nothing that’s gonna get me here,” and then ultimately, by the end, you’re weeping.

If we’re being honest, sometimes I watch Queer Eye just to weep. (Laughs) It’s a cathartic thing to do!

Your encounter with Jonathan strongly suggests that you may have attracted a fierce LGBTQ following over the years.

How aware are you of your gay and lesbian following? I wish I was more aware of it! I think I’ve never particularly noticed someone who identifies themselves in any particular group as being someone who’s watched a particular show that I’ve done. I feel very lucky, especially with The Crown, that it has such a broad appeal and that’s something that I am amazed by, that a TV program could be watched by so many different people. It’s quite a unifying thing, I think. Very rare nowadays.

But I must say, I think the Queen holds a special part in quite a lot of people’s hearts, and so it’s interesting to see who kind of has been interested in me because I played her.

It can’t hurt that The Crown portrayed Lord Snowdon as bisexual. Oh yeah.

Well, I think there’s so much honesty [on that show] about people’s sexuality that I think is really important. That’s how I feel about Lisbeth. I think her pansexuality – I loved that she had such an open attitude, not only to her own sexuality but to everybody else’s, a kind of non-judgment (and an) understanding that there should be no judgment about people’s sexuality or what they identify themselves as. There should be more protagonists who have that message. It’s very important.

In the BBC’s The Night Watch, you played Helen, who gets involved in a Sapphic love triangle but identifies as sexually fluid. Do you gravitate toward characters who choose not to label their sexuality, or is that just a coincidence? I think... no.

As much as I’m interested in exploring those sides of myself I’m also interested in exploring those sides of other people.

It’s what it means to be human. People’s sexuality, their sensuality, is something that I think there’s a lot of shame about in every walk of life; it’s something that’s

Issue 288 | NOVEMBER 15, 2018

weirdly not talked about, and I think people are not allowed to explore and express themselves and be open and be honest about what it means to be them, and that obviously includes your sexuality. I think it’s just really important to investigate that.

Have you questioned your own sexual identity? Especially nowadays, I do find the idea of people being prescriptive about sexuality and defining themselves by it... that’s why I found Lisbeth so fascinating.

She sort of takes it for granted, that her freedom is expressed in that way. Why should she have to evaluate it in that way? I think that is something that I find really admirable and definitely like to encourage more in myself. That openness and that ability to allow yourself the freedom to explore everything that is out there and everything life has to offer.

Our current political climate, where we have an administration attacking people who are not heterosexual males, seems like a good time for Lisbeth to resurface. I just think that’s crazy. The beauty of humanity is that we’re diverse and interesting and all different shapes, sizes, colors – everything. [Diversity] should just be applauded and amazed and accepted and worshiped and adored. I don’t think the world becoming smaller is the biggest danger that we face.

Besides Helen and Lisbeth, have you played other LGBTQ roles? I always thought my character Sawyer Valentine in Unsane was bisexual. I just did. I felt she was a very modern, young woman, and I think there’s an openness with this generation that definitely wasn’t around when I was younger. A kind of openness and understanding about sexuality and how it can be open in that way, that didn’t really exist when I was in school, so I think Sawyer probably grew up slightly with a bit more of that mentality.

For Night Watch, you said your kissing scenes with your female co-stars, Anna Maxwell Martin and Anna Wilson-Jones, were preferable to kissing scenes you’ve had with male actors. (Laughs) Yes...

All these years later, is that still true even after co-starring alongside Ryan Gosling?

(Laughs boisterously). I mean, male or female, I’ve been very, very lucky in who I’ve had love affairs with onscreen.

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Just, when you’re with another woman there’s an ease and an understanding and a respect and an openness that is just a natural way of being. It’s a dynamic that happens; it’s just easier to be more open when you’re with a woman, in general, for me. So it’s much easier to have those conversations of going, “Oh god, this is really weird, sorry about that.” “Did I do anything weird with my mouth in that kiss? I’m really sorry.” You can be more honest about it, I suppose. And that’s not a gender thing. I’ve definitely done scenes with male actors where it’s not felt open but it’s felt that you can laugh about it and be silly about it and take it for what it is – which is pretty silly. It’s a pretty odd, strange thing to do, to kiss someone in front of 250 people.

In Spider’s Web, you wake up in bed next to Sofia, played by trans model and actress Andreja Pejic�. Sex isn’t depicted but suggested. What kind of talk was there regarding how intimate Lisbeth should be onscreen with other women in the film? There was a sex scene originally in the beginning of the movie.

The very beginning, right out of the gate.

Yeah, exactly. And that’s why I questioned it. I said, “What is the purpose of this?

What are you trying to tell the audience with this sex scene? Are you trying to say that she’s a pansexual woman and here she is having sex with a woman and this is an important part of her character?” And I said, “Or is it titillation?”

Right, to indulge the male gaze. Exactly.

Lesbian relationships in movies are often used not as truthful depictions of two women making love with one another; they’re often [done] as a way of titillating the male and appealing to men. And so I asked pretty openly and bluntly (laughs): “How would you shoot it? Why is it necessary here? What are you trying to say?” “If we do do this, it’s gonna be as raw and honest and truthful to the actual experience. I’m not doing anything that’s gonna be because it looks cool; it has to be really real.”

And I think when we had that conversation it sort of made [Fede] realize [the] purpose of this. You can communicate the relationship that two people have to one another without having to have a sex scene. I think that as an audience member I don’t particularly enjoy watching sex

scenes. Isn’t like I watch them and go, “Oh, great!” I just think, “Oh god, let it be over.”

And watching it in a theater with 300 other people… Yeah, exactly. I think passion is such an important part of a love drama.

I think it needs to be there. People have sex, therefore sex scenes need to be portrayed in films. But I do think it needs to be portrayed for a reason. There has to be a dynamic that’s interesting, and it needs to be not just at the opening of a film – two women having sex with each other for no real purpose, just to say, “Oh, by the way, she has relationships with men and women!” And so Fede was like, “I’ve thought about it and I think, actually, we don’t need it. I think it sends the wrong message.”

When you read that there would be a suitcase of dildos in the movie, what went through your mind? I thought it was brilliant. It’s proper Lisbeth.

Not only is she doing some sort of espionage but she also will enjoy the humor of knowing that all those kind of really macho airport security guys will have to search a case of dildos.

So, does this film hold the record for the most dildos in a Claire Foy movie? Oh, I think so. There’s definitely room for a few more, though!

Claire, that suitcase looked packed, though.

Come on, we could get a couple more in there.

(Laughs) Q As editor of Q Syndicate, Chris Azzopardi has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. Reach him via his website at www.chris-azzopardi.com and on Twitter (@ chrisazzopardi).

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Issue 288 | November 15, 2018

‘Afterglow’ playwright: show’s nudity not a gimmick

BY S. ASHER GELMAN

Five years

ago, I fell in love; it nearly destroyed my marriage. Last year, that experience, which caused me and my husband a great deal of pain, inspired me to write my first play, Afterglow, which opened off-Broadway at the beginning of summer, 2017 and ran for 14 months before closing this past August.

If you’ve heard anything about Afterglow, it’s most likely that the play features a lot of nudity. This is not simply a gimmick. As the director and playwright, I felt that to tell a story that is so much about sex and sexuality while simultaneously being ashamed of showing sex and sexuality felt completely disingenuous to the play. It is intended to be a sex-positive piece, highlighting the

value of communication within all types of relationships. The show is an exploration of a lot of the issues queer men are facing in our quest for true connection.

The play opens moments after a threesome. Josh and Alex, a married couple in an open relationship, have invited Darius into their bed one night. When a new intimate connection begins to form, all three men must come to terms with their individual definitions of love, loyalty and trust as futures are questioned, relationships are shaken and commitments are challenged.

Though it does explore the issue, the play does not take a stance on monogamy versus non-monogamy. The conversation needs to be about whether or not monogamy is important to the individual members of a relationship, even if it takes them to an uncomfortable place. Personally, I am a huge supporter of non-monogamy: My husband and I have been together for almost nine years, open for the past four, and our marriage is the strongest it’s ever been. Ultimately, as long as people are being honest and aren’t hurting each other, they should be able to design their relationships

however they see fit.

The piece is, innately, queer, but not exclusively. You won’t find any of the traditionally gay tropes in Afterglow; there is no mention of HIV/AIDS, coming out, discrimination or even sexual identity (the characters are, obviously, men who have sex with men, but no one ever mentions being gay or bi or queer or whatever – they just exist). While these stories are such an important part of our queer collective history, we should be able to tell other stories as well.

Afterglow is intended to be a universally accessible piece told through a queer experience. There is no “inside joke” here that straight audiences won’t get; the experience discussed here is, simply, a human one, designed to encourage discussion.

So, I encourage you to find a friend, a lover, a spouse, a family member, whoever, and come share an hour and a half with Josh, Alex, and Darius, and, when it’s over, go sit somewhere and have a talk.

In closing: Come for the dick; stay for the drama. Q

November 15, 2018 |

Utah, Mammoth and Quebec Gay Ski Week dates announced After 16 years of promoting one of the largest gay ski weeks in North America, ELEVATION Mammoth, and 8 years of ELEVATION Utah in Park City, event producer Tom Whitman announced a new addition to the winter gay ski calendar with ELEVATION Tremblant in Mont Tremblant, Quebec.

“ELEVATION ski weeks offer gay skiers a chance to play hard both day and night with great skiing, great parties, and great company,” Whitman said.

Whitman expects more than 5,000 attendees between the three events. By itself, ELEVATION Mammoth is

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“Each year, we have watched the events grow in attendance. But the East Coast was one area where we have always wanted to expand,” Whitman said. “Tremblant is the perfect place for Elevation – always ranked one of the best resorts on the East Coast, with very easy access from Toronto, Montreal, Boston, and New York City.”

Dates for the upcoming Elevation Ski Weeks: ELEVATION Tremblant: Jan 31st – Feb 3rd, 2019 ELEVATION Utah: Feb. 21st – 24th, 2019 ELEVATION Mammoth: March 13th – 17th, 2019 Q

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36 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | COMICS

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PUZZLES | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 37

Issue 288 | Qsaltlake.com

Just Desserts

Each Sudoku puzzle has a unique solution which can be reached logically without guessing. Enter digits 1 through 9 into the blank spaces. Every row must contain one of each digit, as must each column and each 3x3 square. Qdoku

Q doku Hard

5 4 7

4

3

6 9 3 2 4 2 8

7 2 8 1 5 9 2 6 5 1 9 4 1 3 7

6 7

4 6 5

5

4

8 7 5

1 4 2 5 6 7 9 3 6

9

3 1 5

4 1 5 4 7

2 2 8 1 8 3 9 2 6 4 3 3 4 1 8 6 2 7 1 7 6 1 8 9 5 3 9 4 9 3 8 7 9 1 5 6 5 9 6 3 8 4 3 9 5 2 7 2 3 8 1 8 5 9 7 8 2 9 5 3 3 8 4 2 7 8 9 5 6

5 8 6 2

51 Lawn party rental 52 Now and ___ 53 More like a Susan ACROSS Feniger recipe 1 Get off the breast 5 Ejaculation of con- 56 Part of a Buddhist title cern 60 Orange beverage in 9 Travels with one’s ads by Anita that first mate was boycotted by 14 At Wit’s End author the gay community Bombeck 61 Devout lawyer that 15 Farm erection worked for homo16 High marks phobe Trump?

17 Tempt with des64 Song from Sondserts? heim’s _Passion_ 19 Bryant, who was 65 _Spamalot_ writer publicly got a Eric dessert in the face 66 Small dot of land in 1977 20 Peter Pears, for one 67 Occasional cross-dresser Milton 21 Holes that spelunk68 Monika Treut’s ers enter refusal 23 Santa’s got a long 69 Nair rival one 26 “Tell me ___ haven’t DOWN heard!”

1 Had body fluid 27 Color of a lime on a running down the dessert? face 32 Nero’s heart 2 Great Lakes city 34 Booty 3 Sherman Hemsley 35 Determined to religious sitcom 36 Cut 4 Seaport of Pasolini’s 38 Leather community, land e.g.

5 JFK’s branch 41 Former CBS anchor 6 Stashed away Roger 7 Jackie’s designer 42 Take the top off 8 The Rocky ___ 44 Mauresmo’s doPicture Show overs 9 Galindo and Mattis 46 Dorm VIPs 10 Uncle Henry’s wife 11 Prefix that means 47 Shrimp served in a “queer” flour shell?

12 Where director yell “Cut!” 13 9-digit ID org.

18 Princess with fins 22 Canadian prov.

24 James VI, e.g.

25 Norse bolt maker 27 Cukor’s What ___ Hollywood 28 Not straight 29 Batmobile maneuver 30 Common mixer 31 Targets of men who make passes 32 Finishing stroke 33 Prefix with science 37 Type of error 39 Ginsberg’s kind of poet 40 Cut glass 43 Come before someone else comes 45 Like a nocturnal emission?

48 Prefix that may have sex 49 Pinch-hit 50 “I have a headache tonight...” med 53 Maupin’s ___ of You 54 Tying-up place 55 Sally in space 57 Give the slip to 58 Ready and willing partner 59 “Yeah, sure” 60 Triangular sail 62 Larry Kramer, for one 63 Number of gay men under a centurion?

38 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | MARKETPLACE

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 288 | November 15, 2018

marketplace AC C O M M O DAT I O N S

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November 15, 2018 |

MARKETPLACE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 39

Issue 288 | Qsaltlake.com

marketplace

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40 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | MARKETPLACE

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 288 | November 15, 2018

marketplace LENDERS

T R AV E L

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Know who WANTS your business and will treat you with the DIGNITY and RESPECT you deserve

November 15, 2018 |

QMMUNITY | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 41

Issue 288 | Qsaltlake.com

Qmmunity Groups ALCOHOL & DRUG

Alcoholics Anonymous 801-484-7871  utahaa.org LGBT meetings: Sun. 3p Acceptance Group, UPC, 255 E 400 S Mon. 7p Gay Men’s Stag (Big Book Study), UPC, 255 E 400 S 8p G/Q Women’s Mtg, Disability Law Center (rear), 205 N 400 W Tues. 8:15p Live & Let Live, UPC, 255 E 400 S Wed. 7p Sober Today, 375 Harrison Blvd, Ogden Fri. 8p Stonewall Group, UPC, 255 E 400 S Crystal Meth Anon  crystalmeth.org Sun. 1:30pm Clean, Sober & Proud LGBTQIA+Straight USARA, 180 E 2100 S Thurs. 1p Unity In Sobriety, 175 S 700 E LifeRing Secular Recovery 801-608-8146  liferingutah.org Sun. 10am Univ. Neuropsychiatric Institute, 501 Chipeta Way #1566 Wed. noon, 2319 Foothill Dr, #120 Weds. 6:30 pm, Univ Neuropsych Institute, 501 Chipeta Way #1566 Thurs. 7pm, USARA, 180 E 2100 S, #100

Fri. 7pm, UPC, 1380 S. Main 2nd Flr. Sat. 11am, First Baptist Church, 777 S 1300 E

Weber-Morgan Health Mon., Weds 1-4:30p 477 23rd St, Ogden Appt 801-399-7250

BUSINESS

HOMELESS SVCS

LGBTQ-Affirmative Psycho-therapists Guild of Utah  lgbtqtherapists.com * jim@lgbtqtherapists.com

Volunteers of America Homeless Youth Resource Ctr, ages 15–21 880 S 400 W 801-364-0744 Transition Homes: Young Men’s

Utah Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce  utahgaychamber.com * info@utahgaychamber.com Vest Pocket Business Coalition  vestpocket.org 801-596-8977 DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 YWCA of Salt Lake  ywca.org/ saltlakecity 322 E 300 S 801-537-8600 HEALTH & HIV

Peer Support for Mental Illness — PSMI Thurs 7pm, Utah Pride Ctr Planned Parenthood 654 S 900 E 800-230-PLAN Salt Lake County Health Dept HIV/STD Clinic 660 S 200 E, 4th Floor Walk-ins M–F 10a–4p Appts 385-468-4242 Utah AIDS Foundation  utahaids.org * mail@utahaids.org 1408 S 1100 E 801-487-2323

801-433-1713 Young Women’s 801-359-5545 LEGAL

Rainbow Law Free Clinic 2nd Thurs 6:30–7:30pm UofU Law School, 383 S University St POLITICAL

Equality Utah  equalityutah.org * info@equalityutah.org 175 W 200 S, Ste 1004 801-355-3479 Utah Libertarian Party 6885 S State St #200 888-957-8824 Utah Log Cabin Republicans  bit.ly/logcabinutah 801-657-9611 Utah Stonewall Democrats  utahstonewalldemocrats.org RELIGIOUS

First Baptist Church  firstbaptist-slc.org * office@firstbaptistslc.org 11a Sundays 777 S 1300 E 801-582-4921

BUT WITH A CAPE

Sacred Light of Christ  slcchurch.org 823 S 600 E 801-595-0052 11a Sundays

Queer Friends  queerfriends.org

Wasatch Metropolitan Community Church  wasatchmcc.org 801-889-8764 Sundays except the 2nd Sunday, 11:15a at Crone’s Hollow, 3834 S. Main

Sage Utah, Seniors  fb.me/sageutah  sageutah@ utahpridecenter.org 801-557-9203

SOCIAL

1 to 5 Club (bisexual)  fb.me/1to5ClubUtah The Bonnie and Clyde’s Social Group  bit.ly/BonnieClydeSG Alternative Garden Club  bit.ly/altgarden * altgardenclub@gmail.com blackBOARD Men’s Kink/Sex/BDSM education, 1st, 3rd Mons.  blackbootsslc.org blackBOOTS Kink/BDSM Men’s leather/kink/ fetish/BDSM 4th Sats.  blackbootsslc.org Gay Writes writing group, DiverseCity 6:30 pm Mondays Community Writing Ctr, 210 E 400 S Ste 8 Get Outside Utah  bit.ly/GetOutsideUtah Men Who Move  menwhomove.org OUTreach Utah Ogden  outreachutah.org OWLS of Utah (Older, Wiser, Lesbian. Sisters)  bit.ly/owlsutah

qVinum Wine Tasting  qvinum.com  fb.me /QVinum/

Temple Squares Square Dance Club  templesquares.org 801-449-1293 Utah Bears  utahbears.com  fb.me/utahbears  info@utahbears.com Weds 6pm Raw Bean Coffee, 611 W Temple

Salt Lake Goodtime Bowling League  bit.ly/slgoodtime Stonewall Shooting Sports of Utah  fb.me/stonewall. sportsofutah Venture Out Utah  facebook.com/groups/ Venture.OUT.Utah YOUTH/COLLEGE

Encircle LGBTQ Family and Youth Resource Center  encircletogether.org fb.me/encircletogether 91 W 200 S, Provo, Gay-Straight Alliance Network  gsanetwork.org

Utah Male Naturists  umen.org  info@umen.org

Salt Lake Community College LGBTQ+ 8 slcc.edu/lgbtq/

Utah Pride Center  utahpridecenter.org  info@utahpridecenter.org 1380 S Main St 801-539-8800

University of Utah LGBT Resource Center 8 lgbt.utah.edu 200 S Central Campus Dr Rm 409 801-587-7973

SPORTS

Pride Community Softball League  fb.me/utahpride. softballleague  pcsl@prideleague.com Q Kickball League  fb.me/qsaltlake. kickball Sundays, 10:30, 11:30, Sunnyside Park QUAC — Queer Utah Aquatic Club  quacquac.org  questions@ quacquac.org

USGA at BYU  fb.me/UsgaAtByu Utah State Univ. Access & Diversity Ctr  usu.edu/ accesscenter/lgbtqa Utah Valley Univ Spectrum  facebook.com/ groups/uvuspectrum Weber State University LGBT Resource Center  weber.edu/ lgbtresourcecenter 801-626-7271

Embracing the health & resilience of our community Utah’s Inclusive Aquatic Club since 1995 BEGINNERS WELCOME EVERYONE’S INVITED

umen.org

42 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | PETS

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 288 | November 15, 2018

Pet Month of the

Felicia

7 years old, female, domestic long hair, brown tabby

HOLIDAY MINI SUPER ADOPTION

Felicia is a gorgeous girl with

’Tis the season to snuggle

adults that will play with her

a big personality! When she’s not napping in her favorite spot, she’s bright and alert and paying attention to everything going on around her. She would do best in a home with

December 8, 10 am – 4 pm The Gateway

with interactive toys and let her watch the world outside from a window perch.

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call 801-574-2454 or go to bestfriendsutah. org or utahadoptions@bestfriends.org

q scopes DECEMBER

BY SAM KELLEY-MILLS

ARIES March 20–April 19

Despite what others might say, good things are coming your way! An amazing career move will lead to exploration and much-needed relief.

How you proceed with a loved one relies greatly on an ability to remain calm.

That may be difficult, but possible.

Avoiding confrontations, and lay low when things heat up.

TAURUS Apr 20–May 20

Dismiss bad ideas and trust your instincts. Pressure builds as the weather gets cool and activities heat up. Plan for mild celebrations and more fun will come as a result. Though family is important, don’t let drama become a setback. Many people in your life have entitlement issues. Now is the time to set the record straight.

GEMINI May 21–June 20

An odd problem requires a creative solution, and results could be unpredictable. It doesn’t hurt to hold off when dealing with unreasonable people. A breaking point could

lead to erratic behavior, but this is the key to obtaining a long desired goal.

Apologizing won’t be necessary. Get mad, if you must, but use tact.

CANCER June 21–July 22

Drowning in a sea of tears will do no good, so learn to swim by gaining perspective. Now is the time to get away from work. Put aside unnecessary obligations. Emotionally detaching is difficult, but could be necessary. It’s a matter of survival, especially in regards to a partner. Care less, do less, and feel more.

LEO July 23–August 22

How a bad influence is handled could have a great impact on goals this month. Don’t be lured into a trap and stay grounded by spending time alone. A social or family gathering could be intensely rewarding, but the potential for outbursts exist. Sometimes it pays to submit to the will of others and enjoy the ride for a while.

VIRGO August 23–Sep. 22

The weather is cool and dry, but things are warm and cozy inside.

Create a nook of happiness in your home and invite friends looking for the same. Approach a good job offer with skepticism. While the best things tend to seem the most obtainable, nothing

comes without cost. Weigh all the options and take few risks.

LIBRA Sept 23–October 22

Don’t depend heavily other people. They aren’t as strong as you think. A threshold of frustration that is about to be breached, so avoid the frustrations by eliminating obligations. An abundance of good news will be delivered at work, leading to a fruitful period. Enjoy the acquisitions but don’t go overboard. Save!

SCORPIO Oct. 23–Nov. 21

No one has a clue of what is really going on with you. It would be wise to provide a close associate, lover, or family member a glimpse into what matters. People are a conduit for desire, and giving a little can bring a huge return. It’s time to face a nagging feeling which resulted from a feud. It’s not too late to fix mistakes.

SAGITTARIUS

Nov. 22–December 20.

Delicious things are coming this month, and not in the form of food. Get ready for a happy time and enjoy emotional satisfaction. Financial matters will not be bothersome, but keep an eye on your accounts. Dire things tend to happen when least expected. A child or pet is in need of

attention, so please provide it.

CAPRICORN Dec 21–Jan 19

Help is on the way, not a moment too soon. There is confusion during this time, and questions that need answers. A fountain of knowledge will present itself in the form of romance or sexy friendship. While the world currently seems to be squeezing tight, it’s an illusion. Trust in those who really care and have fun.

AQUARIUS Jan. 20–Feb. 18

The desire for a good time will consume you. It’s a great period for cutting out troublemakers, but you must identify them first. Test the sincerity of friends who don’t know you well. An elderly family member provides great insight, but don’t accept it casually. Give real thought into the implications here.

PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19

A parental figure will materialize from out of nowhere.

A kind heart is needed right now, but a tough love comes with the territory.

Make intentions known, and don’t fear to ask for favors. The spirits will be moving, and the heart takes the lead.

Don’t fear to find the confidence to simply feel good. This is your time! Q

November 15, 2018 |

SEX | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 43

Issue 288 | Qsaltlake.com

sex and salt lake city

’Tis the season

BY DR. LAURIE BENNETT-COOK

Several

years ago my partner and I were enjoying a quiet house.

All the kids were out with friends and doing various things. So, taking advantage of the childless house we decided to set up sexy shop in the living room and watch porn on the big screen. As is the case with most things that have to do with having kids, just as we were hot and heavy into each other with porn playing, we heard a key in the lock of the front door.

We jumped up and ran to the door, slamming it closed just as it opened.

“You can’t come in! We’re wrapping presents!” We yelled, which seemed to be fitting as it was nearing Christmas. Our kid, however, wasn’t buying it. Once we were quickly and adequately clothed we opened the door for him. When he came into the living room my partner and I realized that in our rush we had forgotten to pick up the blankets which were spread out across the couch and we were both looking a bit disheveled. The TV, while turned off, was still on and basking the room in a blue glow. Our son smirked at us both and walked down the hall to his room.

Taking some time to physically connect with our partner(s), or even with ourselves, can force us to be in a present state, breathe deeply, and focus on pleasure for ourselves. With all we’re doing rushing around to ensure the days ahead are pleasurable for others, its good self-care to make a bit of our own time as pleasurable and thus a little less stressful.

LOWER BLOOD PRESSURE A Scottish study published in the Biological Psychology journal states: “Sexual activity prevents increases in blood pressure during stressful events.” Considering the stresses that many people experience during the holiday season, this link to blood pressure health could certainly be an incentive to secure some pleasure time for yourself.

That alone may be a good gift to enjoy!

SEXUAL HEALTH = CARDIAC HEALTH

SO HOW IS SEX A PRESENT?

A little-known fact is how using our sexiness as a workout is actually good for our hearts.

When having sex, our heart rate increases. Thus, sex may be the most fun type of exercise. Of course, if you feel you might not be healthy enough for a romp under the mistletoe, you should check with your doctor to make sure.

Sex as a Stress Reducer Let’s be honest, the holiday season has the ability to create stress for a lot of us. In spite of the jolliness of the season, there seems to be a bit of a maddening rush everywhere.

One of the best gifts to give a sexual partner is to not give them anything at all. Sexually transmitted infections, while treatable, are generally not something that most people

WRAPPING UP

desire. The best way to avoid giving such a gift to another person is to wrap up anything that will be inserted with a condom. Unfortunately, many believe simply wrapping up prior to penetration is enough.

Condoms can only do so much to protect from which they’re in contact. To further protect from possible STI transmission, don’t shave or brush teeth right before sexual activity. This may sound counter-intuitive, but much like preventing the spread of other infections such as a cold or the flu, clean closed skin is our best defense. Shaving and brushing teeth can cause micro-abrasions that create an access point for infection. So waiting a few hours after either before putting another person’s sexy parts inside any of your sexy parts is

a good defense.

One reason I hear from many about why they choose not to use condoms is that of how restrictive they feel. Truly, one of the most enjoyable facets of penetration into any orifice is feeling the moistness of your partner. To substitute that, place a drop of lube on the inside of your condom prior to placing it on your penis.

To this day the term “wrapping presents” has become code in our family for having sex.

Sex is how we all got here.

And while society at large may have issues with the concept of sex for the purpose of pleasure, I am here to advocate for it. Let’s consider how much of a gift sex can be. Q Dr. Laurie Bennett-Cook is a clinical sexologist and can be reached at Dr.LaurieBennettCook@gmail.com

44 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FRIVOLIST

10

items in your attic that might be worth big bucks

BY MIKEY ROX

Attic

treasures are slowly becoming a thing of the past. Many of us are living more efficiently with less clutter lying around the house and barely any room for additional storage anyway.

I’ve never even opened the hatch to the attic in my house — mostly because that horror-movie-waiting-to-happen can stay locked away for eternity for all I care.

Yet while younger generations don’t have a need or desire to take advantage of attic space — if they even have it — our parents and grandparents were basically functioning hoarders who stuffed the rafters to the gills will potential treasures.

What sort of bounty is tucked away up there? Take a look at these 11 items in your attic that might be worth big bucks.

1

the frivolist

Qsaltlake.com |

Sterling Silver and Enameled Metal Pieces

While silver and gold fluctuate in price on the markets, they’ll never not be valuable.

And since sterling was relatively cheap back in the day, it’s feasible that your family could have a few pieces that demand a pretty penny.

“For pieces that retain their value over time, look to precious metal antiques including sterling silver flatware, tea sets, and also enameled metal pieces like Cloisonné and Champleve,” advises Michael de Bondt, an antique buyer and estate sales dealer in Sarasota, Florida. “Because of the workmanship and level of quality in these items, they can be worth money for decades or longer and remain more stable than trending antiques and collectibles.”

2 Far East Antiques

De Bondt adds that Far East antiques also hold their value for a long time.

“The hottest items now that people might have lurking in attics from grandma’s parlor are Asian pieces,” he says.

“We especially like Chinese snuff bottles, antique urns and bronze pieces.”

3 Musical Instruments

“Any musical instrument can have huge value, but especially guitars,” explains David Kalt, founder and CEO of Reverb.com, an online marketplace for guitars and gear.

He says, for instance, that popular guitars from the 1960s could be attic treasures, including vintage Fender, Gibson and acoustic guitars.

4

Obsolete Electronics

As reported by Mashable, even the most outdated electronic devices are sought after, like the Imagination Machine that pulled in $900 on eBay. But even if you don’t have little-known vintage electronics, you can still cop a decent amount of green with your old Nintendo items, like a 20-year-old Super Nintendo game that sold for $81; dusty and totally defunct Betamaxes; and Apple products, like the Apple II+, which commanded $102 at eBay auction.

5 Childhood Toys and Games

Kevin Bernhard, owner of Rust-andShine vintage and handmade market in Baltimore, reveals that sales for vintage toys and game boxes are especially healthy.

“Most people think they are trash, but people buy them to reunite a toy with its original packaging, or to use as art,” he says.

Another decent moneymaker is the fast food and cartoon character collector glassware from the 1980s.

“With ’80s kids now having disposable income, they are being bought up like crazy.

There’s just something fun about drinking an adult beverage out of a glass that you used to sip apple juice out of,” says Bernhard.

“Another favorite are stuffed animals from the ’80s and early ’90s. Alf, Teddy Ruxpin and My Buddy dolls fly off the shelves.”

6

Coins

Most coins will always be worth their face value — even if that has diminished over the years thanks to inflation. But some coins, especially rare ones in excellent condition, far exceed their original value. The same goes for paper money, too, which isn’t uncommon to find in attics previously owned by war-era families and veterans.

There are several options on where to sell your coins and cash — like to a coin shop, physical auction, and an online auction or marketplace — but first you should have the value appraised by a reputable source.

Issue 288 | November 15, 2018

Magazines 7 Vintage and Newspapers

On eBay, a lot of 11 vintage Seventeen magazines from 1961 and ’62 sold for nearly $50, while a single issue of Vogue magazine from April 15, 1968, was up to $36.99 from nine bids on eBay four days before its auction expiration.

8 Costume & Designer Jewelry

“Signed pieces of designer jewelry are often a great place to find value: Cartier, Van Cleef & Arpels, Raymond Yard, David Webb — all these brands have been around for decades, and in some cases over a century,” says Anup Jogani, founder and CEO of Jogani Beverly Hills, a dealer in antique and vintage gems and jewelry. “Finding a piece with one of these iconic signatures means a good payday coming your way.”

Let’s not forget about costume jewelry, either. I’ve seen costume jewelry sell rapidly and for a decent fee — $100 per small box — at a yard sale that I co-hosted with a neighbor. It was part of his mother’s collection, which wasn’t particularly worth much in terms of quality or craftsmanship, but the pieces were nice enough to catch one buyer’s attention, and that’s really all you need.

9 Comic Books

A quick look on eBay revealed a few heavy hitters, like a lot of 1,712 Gold, Silver and Bronze Age Avengers #1 comic books approaching $7,200 with one day left on bidding; The Amazing Spider-Man #6 from November 1963 bid at $163.50; and a The Brave and the Bold title from 1955 at $128.50 with five days to go.

10 Furniture

Reader’s Digest suggests consulting Kovels’ Antiques & Collectibles Price Guide to establish your bearings in the vintage and antique furniture world, while paying particular attention to Stickley Mission Oak, Arts and Crafts, and Heywood-Wakefield brands. Items that might seem like a boon but are really a bust include 1920s and ’30s dining sets that are reproductions of 16th- and 17th-century pieces. Q

Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. He lives with his dog Jaxon.

Connect with Mikey on Twitter @mikeyrox.

TO WEST WENDOVER, Nevada Featuring the Matrons of Mayhem NEXT BUS:

Sat. December 1

Tickets $25 or

BigGayFunBus.com or 801-997-9763 x2

or cash-only at Club Try-Angles during normal hours

@BigGayFunBus

46 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 288 | November 15, 2018

gay writes

Dear Kid who Played Joseph in the Christmas Pageant

BY ANTHONY EVERSTON

You remind

me of myself, and I hope — well, how should I say this without being condescending — that your next years do not surprise you unpleasantly. You are probably in 5th or 6th grade. This is when all the girls are sprouting past you in height, and all that’s left at your eye-level are armpits, which are mustier than you remember. You wear baggy shirts that your brother handed down, and no matter how cold it is, it’s always shorts weather. You like play dates with your buddies where you compete in sled races, snowball fights, and computer games. You wonder why people always have to fall in love in movies — why are they so emotional? You promise yourself you will never be like that.

It’s easy to make promises about the future, but keeping them is… there I go again sounding like a grandfather. What I mean to say is from your height it’s hard to see far ahead of you. Now I’m being overly figurative. Simply put, junior high has a way of making life so much more confusing.

Kid who Played Joseph in the Christmas Pageant, this year or maybe next year there’s going to be a day you won’t forget. You will join a soccer camp over the summer, and you’ll be playing shirts versus skins. It’ll be so drenchingly humid and heatstroke hot, not even the yellow jackets will bother to come out of the shade to prey on your Gatorade. The high school coach will blow the whistle and send you all on the bleachers for a break. You’ll clamor over each blinding bleacher till you reach the top.

Your pal Jonah will sit two bleachers ahead, dumping his water bottle over his straight, damp hair. The water will roll down his smooth freckled back, vertebrae by vertebrae until it reaches the last one, where it will soak into the ruffled elastic edge of his already soaked nylon soccer shorts. You will stare, and you don’t know why. No one else will have reached the top bleacher, no one will be talking to you, the wind will be still, and you will look at Jonah and his shorts. You will look away at the field with more dusty dirt than grass left, but you will look back at Jonah until you can’t not see him; even when you

look away, you can see him; even in the car back home when you find that moving your legs back and forth with your water bottle in between feels oddly irresistible, and you picture Jonah in his shorts when you are alone in bed and start to move your thighs in and out not knowing why, other than it feels good, unstoppable… euphoric. What the hell just happened? you’ll think. Soiled boxers. A wave of foul odor and guilt permeate the room. I am a pervert for thinking about Jonah, you will tell yourself. You will promise never to do it again that night, and the next, and the next, and the next. You will pray that you stop, and then you will pray that you think about girls, but you will catch yourself watching the newest boy band music videos and replaying the shirtless scenes over and over, until these videos take you to new videos. You will throw your stuffed leopard off your bed because it’s too young for this, and you will cry alone, hiccupping with salt water in your eyes, wishing you were somebody else.

On nights such as these, I wish I could tell you just how lovable you will still be.

I know your voice will be cracking. It may not go as low as you want it to. I know that every time you make an adjustment under your belt you’ll swear someone’s going to spot you and know what you were thinking. When one of your nipples grows faster than the other, the boys will point, laugh, and taunt you in the locker room. I wish I could show you a picture of yourself five years later when you will be a handsome young man. I wish I could tell you that it doesn’t matter that you shudder each time a teammate asks you to rate a girl’s tits, and you don’t know how. I wish I could tell you that every time someone says, “That’s so gay,” as an insult, most kids wouldn’t do it if they knew it hurt you.

Kid, just don’t be like me. Don’t lie in bed hating yourself for the parts of you that you cannot change as you gaze at the plastic glow-in-the-dark planets on your ceiling.

Kid who played Joseph in the Christmas Pageant, I’m sorry to break this to you, but there will also be a day when others realize it too. The leaves on the younger maple trees will already be yellow, seesawing

back and forth as they flutter to the lawn, leaving their skinny branches bare and unprotected.

You’ll be eating lunch outside with ninth-grade girls, sitting in a circle leaning against your backpacks. They don’t talk about girls’ looks; they don’t remind you of how you are different — at least you think. Instead, they will discuss the Fall Dance, which will be fast approaching. Samantha, the girl with black lipstick who’s always doing tech for some theatre show asks, “So, are you going to go with a girl or with a boy to the dance?”

“That’s mean,” some the other girls will say, but they will be laughing too. You’ll curse them. “I’m not gay, dammit,” you’ll tell them and yourself. You’ll hate your voice for giving it away — the way you enunciate consonants at the end of words, the way your voice rises higher than tenor when you’re animated. You’ll hate them for knowing, for confirming your fate.

Kid, maybe you’ll be braver than I was.

Maybe you don’t have to eat lunch in the library alone. Maybe you can look Samantha back in the eyes and say, “I want to ask out Jonah. Do you know if he’s gay too?”

Their squeals, their “Oh my God’s,” and their arms suddenly around your shoulders are cheers. You could impress them by just being you and no one else. Maybe today, instead of hiding it until your forties, you could let their acceptance, their embraces help you love the wonderful boy you are, and who you will continue to be.

Best Regards, Someone who Wishes the Best for You Q About the author: Anthony Everston lives in Salt Lake City and is a member of Gay Writes, a DiverseCity Writing Series writing group of SLCC’s Community Writing Center.

The group meets the 2nd and 4th Mondays of each month, 6:30–8 p.m., 210 E. 400 South.

November 15, 2018 |

BOOKS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 47

Issue 288 | Qsaltlake.com

the bookworm sez

Book Gifts for the Holidays

BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

Who doesn’t like a mystery?

Your giftee sure does, and if there are chills inside it, all’s the better so wrap up SODOM ROAD EXIT by Amber Dawn. It’s the story of a small but dying village that’s lost its last reason for tourists. Even so, one young woman lives there with her mother because she has nowhere else to go. She wishes she did, though, because her small hometown holds terror… Wrap it up with RUIN OF STARS by Linsey Miller, the second book in a fantasy series in which the main character is gender-fluid.

For the reader who loves books that may make him think, look for SO FAMOUS AND SO GAY

by Jeff Solomon.

It’s a book about Truman Capote and Gertrude Stein and how their fame still lingers while so many other almost-celebrities barely get a nod today, no matter what they did for LGBTQ rights….

The person on your list who is thinking about transitioning (or who recently has) will love unwrapping TRANS LIKE ME

by CN Lester, a series of essays on gender diversity, being

trans, and how to tackle tacky people whose questions are too nosy. Pair it with BEING EMILY by Rachel Gold, a book about a trans woman, now updated to include new material.

For the traveler on your list, the person who also loves history, you can’t go wrong with RIVIERA DREAMING by Maureen Emerson.

It’s the true story of an architect and an ex-officer in the British Army, how they teamed up to create a mansion that took society by storm, and who vied to hire these two men to decorate their Riviera mansions. Wrap it up with GLOBAL GAY: HOW GAY CULTURE IS CHANGING THE WORLD by Frédéric Martel, for a very well-traveled gift.

More fiction for the gay reader: YOU CAN’T TELL

BY LOOKING by Russell J. Sanders, a romance about love between two high school boys, one of whom is also dealing with his anti-gay Islamic family; and AESOP LAKE

by Sarah Ward, a unique book based on three of Aesop’s Fables to tell a tale of a hate crime and its aftermath. Q

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48 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FINAL WORD

Qsaltlake.com |

the perils of petunia pap smear

A tale of this ain’t yo mama’s turkey

BY PETUNIA PAP SMEAR

The road

to a peaceful Thanksgiving afternoon food coma is fraught with danger and excitement.

The holidays are quickly approaching.

Normally, this time of year brings about great additional stress, due to the necessity of attending family gatherings. Customarily, I sit at the Thanksgiving table, stuffing my girdle past the fail-safe point with turkey and all the delicious fixings to the extent of a catastrophic elastic failure ending in a disaster of such gigantic proportions that it would make the crash of the Hindenburg resemble a party balloon popping; the result being the untimely elimination of an entire branch of the family tree.

As I slip into the traditional oblivion brought on by the Tryptophan overdose, I ponder the social and familial stresses that the holiday season brings to the forefront of our gay lives and how our holidays tend to diverge from the perfect Norman Rockwell ideal, to which our mothers strive valiantly to attain, but inevitably fail, thereby turning to prescription drug abuse to bridge the void. (My personal recommendation is Valium, but Zanex can do in a pinch.)

Often the tensions of the family bonds are stretched so tight as to be more explosive than backstage at a drag show when the snuff runs out. With the family version of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell frequently in effect about how we “stuff our turkey,”

7pm, Oct. 19, Nov. 16, Jan. 21 First Baptist Church, 777 S 1300 E fb.me/matronsofmayhem

extreme diplomacy, advanced verbal gymnastics and superior manners are required to save lives, not to mention inheritances.

Remember girls, until the end of time, the pulling of hair, ala Crystal Carrington and Alexis Colby, is a social faux pas to be avoided in all but the most extreme cases.

However, if worse comes to worst, “Alexis You Bitch” is the appropriate war cry for a queen done wrong, bent upon redemption.

The White House Situation Room during the shock and awe bombardment of a Middle Eastern country is usually less stressful than a typical kitchen mid-Thanksgiving turkey trot. For one thing, there are usually too many aunts and sisters all trying to demonstrate to the Resident Cook in Chief that they are equally gifted in the homemaking arts. If it’s a gay household, you will often find the kitchen cluttered with too many buff young gym bunnies standing around the sink, lest they need to move more than eight inches in order to freshen their beverage.

Now, I like to “cop a feel” of a well-endowed gym bunny just like any other red-blooded queen worth her tiara. After all, I took the class, “Undetectable/Unprovable Groping” at Queenly Finishing School, where I graduated with honors. A closely packed kitchen of gym bunnies is a very tempting hunting ground, except when there is a turkey that needs stuffing.

Nevertheless, there has been more than one occasion when, amidst the chaos of basting the turkey, mashing the potatoes, stirring the gravy and removing the rolls from the oven that I have had to stop and shriek (in a most queenly dignified way) at the top of my voice, “Anyone not actively engaged in the production of the meal, get the hell out of my kitchen.”

This statement is usually followed by a mass scurrying of little feet to the relative safety of the living room, or the smoking porch, much like the running away of cockroaches when a light is turned on.

I’m reminded of one Thanksgiving when I was assigned to bring the gravy. Rather than having me clog up the host’s kitchen with my immense bulkitude, I decided to

Issue 288 | November 15, 2018

make the gravy at home and then transport it in a crock pot to the dinner destination.

After I made the most wonderful gravy that I have ever labored over, I put on my best Fancy Eat’n Dress, complete with rhinestone bedazzled opera length hot mitts and loaded the gravy into the trunk of Queertanic for transport. My beehive hair has a challenge fitting in Queertanic, so I was forced remove said hairdo and place it carefully in the trunk alongside the gravy. Well, as I was gently navigating Queertanic slowly around every corner so as not to upset the gravy, a bicyclist wearing very tight alluring spandex pulled alongside the car. Like a moth to flame, my eyes were stuck on the spandex, and I didn’t see the speed bump.

My stomach lurched as I heard from the rear of car, a thump and bump. Oh shit! I pulled over and popped the trunk. With trepidation, I got out. Fearing the worst I approached Queertanic’s behind. To my horror, there it was, my best beehive wig, covered in turkey gravy. To it’s credit, the wig acted like a giant tampon and sopped up the greater portion of the gravy, thus shielding Queertanic from embarrassment on the occasion of her very first period.

My little car, all grown up.

With mascara running down my cheeks, like the eyes of Tammy Faye, I turned Queertanic around, and returned home to Chateau Pap Smear to regroup. I remade my face, got a new wig and made a new batch of gravy in only 20 minutes, and I wasn’t late for dinner.

As always, these events leave us with several burning eternal questions.

1. Do gay boys take up smoking just so they can be safe from the Kitchen Queen’s wrath?

2. Should I teach the Relief Society kitchen combat techniques in homemaking lessons?

3. Is there a market for industrial sized big wig tampons?

4. Should I design a Breasticle with a rotating wire whisk nipple that can double as an automatic gravy stirrer?

5. Should I market it as the Whipple-Nipple-Tittle?

6. Should bicyclists be required to have a “Caution Spandex In Motion” warning sign on their bikes?

These and other important questions to be answered in future chapters of: The Perils of Petunia Pap Smear. Q

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