QSaltLake February, 2103

salt lake magazine

UTAH’S GAY, LESBIAN, BISEXUAL, TRANSGENDER AND ALLY

February 2013 Issue 215

Will a double suicide make the community aware of our

INVISIBLE GAY SENIORS GaySaltLake.com

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4 | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | STAFF

gaysaltlake.com | issue 215 | february, 2013

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6 | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | FIRST PERSON

gaysaltlake.com | issue 215 | february, 2013

from the publisher

Our twilight years

by Michael Aaron michael@qsaltlake.com

I am

approaching the big five-oh this June.

Yes, I will be officially inducted into SAGE as a full-fledged member. I’ve been an honorary member since its induction, much like I’m an honorary bear, an honorary Cyber Slut, an honorary Matron of Mayhem, an honorary lesbian and an honorary twink. Well, the last one is a lie, but I can aspire

to such things, can’t I? While I don’t feel much older than I was when I was in college, I suppose the years will begin to catch up with me soon. Most people my age begin to wonder how they will make ends meet, especially now that most 401(k)s were decimated by the Republican Recession (see how I stuck a dig in there? I started that

when Tag or Trig or Tog Romney called it the “Obama Recession.”). We also start wondering about our health and who would take care of us if we became too frail to do it ourselves.

So, when a report came from the Salt Lake City Police Department that an elderly man had killed his “domestic partner” and himself here in

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Salt Lake, it gave me pause.

The report said that the men had “significant health problems,” of which I can only read between the lines, as no reputable organization or health care professional would tell me what their true issue was, so I didn’t ask.

So, here we are in 2013.

HIV/AIDS is now over 30 years old. Many who were in their 20s and 30s when it reared its ugly head are now in their 50s, 60s and beyond. A large number of men in the 80s up and died of the disease. A large number have contracted it since and are still living, but as we age, a body becomes more and more at a disadvantage in the fight with a disease.

We cannot be in the heads of these two. This well may have been (and probably was) a brave and powerful choice for them. It may also have been a last straw in the inability to get proper help from our community.

What struck me the hardest, however, was that no obituary was ever placed in any publication that I have been able to find, in our out of Utah.

Were these men alone in their battle? It seems if family was present, someone would care enough to place an obit.

Did they have close friends or neighbors to help? We know they had hospice, but was it enough?

I hope our community can look to our seniors, appreciate their lives that were very different from today, and offer at least to be present in their twilight years. Q

8 | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

‘Kyle XY’ actor COMES out Actor Matt Dallas, best known for his role as the navel-less boy wonder from ABC Family’s Kyle XY, announced he is engaged to a man. He tweeted a picture of fiancé Blue Hamilton, who is an independent musician and said, “Starting off the year with a new fiancé, @ bluehamilton. A great way to kick off 2013!” Congratulations to the happy couple.

Café owner condemns lesbian couple A married lesbian couple in North Carolina said the owner of the Sting Ray Café handed them a letter condemning their relationship. Ariel and Shawnee McPhail said they were not involved in any public displays of affection. The letter said, “Please, look at your life. See how it hurt[s] everyone around you.

And ask the Lord to open your eye[s] before it [is] to[o] late. The Love of Christ. P.S. my daughter also was gay. It destroy[ed] her life and my grandson.”

Illinois back on track for marriage equality The sponsor of a marriage equality bill in the Illinois House of Representatives said the measure may have sufficient support this session. Rep. Greg Harris said the newcomers to the state legislature are more open to marriage equality measures than the previous set.

“We are on a fast track to passing marriage equality in the state of Illinois,” he said.

“The people of America are ahead of us. They are doing the right thing. They believe the right thing. The journey is short, because people want it to be short. The journey to full marriage is not going

news

gaysaltlake.com | issue 215 | february, 2013

10 things you should know happened last month (Full stories at gaysaltlake.com.) to be as long as we thought, because folks have talked to their neighbors, they’ve talked to their clergy people; they’ve decided treating every couple equally in the eyes of the law is the right thing to do.”

R.I. lawmakers MAY PASS marriage equality Rhode Island’s governor said he expects lawmakers to pass a marriage equality bill and he will veto any attempt to place it on a ballot as a referendum.

Gov. Lincoln Chafee said lawmakers owe it to voters to decide themselves. The House of Representatives will vote on legislation that will allow gay and lesbian couples to marry.

Some opponents have voiced support for another bill that would put the question before voters.Rhode Island is now the only state in New England without gay marriage.

supports and said their efforts would lead to the normalization of pedophilia. While under fire he has yet to retract or apologize for his remarks.

“There is a movement on to normalize pedophilia, and I guarantee you your reaction to that is probably much the same as your reaction when you first heard about gay marriage.

What has happened to gay marriage? It’s become normal — and in fact, with certain people in certain demographics it’s the most important issue in terms of who they vote for.

So don’t pooh-pooh. There’s a movement to normalize pedophilia. Don’t pooh-pooh it. The people behind it are serious, and you know the left as well as I do. They glom onto something and they don’t let go,” he said on his radio show.

Sundance AIDS documentary gets Oscar nomination The 2012 Sundance documentary How to Survive a Plague received an Oscar nomination.

The film follows the story of the start of the Treatment Action Group, which was devoted to fast-tracking drugs that could save, or at least extend, the lives of those swept up in the epidemic.

Limbaugh says gay marriage will lead to pedophilia Conservative talk-show host and pundit Rush Limbaugh attacked marriage equality

breath and understand we need to deal with the human side of this equation — and understand that we want to defend marriage in its classic form between a man and a woman. I don’t accept that there’s an alternative. The government can declare that a Ford truck is Air Force One. That doesn’t mean it can fly. It’s not that I want to change my belief. I think that in fact it’s a big mistake to be confused about this issue,” he said.

Fewer think homosexuality is a sin According to a poll from the Southern Baptist-affiliated LifeWay Research, fewer Americans believe homosexuality is a sin. According to the poll, 37 percent of Americans believe homosexual behavior is a sin, a drop from 44 percent in 2011. The poll also found 45 percent of respondents didn’t believe homosexuality was a sin and 17 percent didn’t have an opinion.

Alabama student arrested for planned attack on blacks, gays A 17-year-old boy was arrested in Alabama after a teacher discovered a journal detailing a plan to attack black and gay students at his school. The journal detailed specific plans to attack six students and a teacher. The only white student on the list is gay. A search of his home uncovered bombmaking materials. His bail was set at $75,000, which his family promptly paid.

Alabama lawmaker moves to repeal antigay sex education curriculum Gingrich open to marriage equality Unlikely ally Newt Gingrich said he hopes his fellow Republicans will understand the “human side” of marriage equality.

“I think this is a very complicated human problem and Republicans need to take a deep

Alabama’s first openly gay legislator is moving to repeal the state’s sex education law, which requires educators to teach that homosexuality is immoral and illegal. Rep. Patricia Todd filed a measure that would allow the Alabama Department of Education to control sex education. Currently the state legislature is responsible.

NEWS | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | 9

february, 2013 | issue 215 | gaysaltlake.com

Wyo. legislature to consider 2 gay union bills Two bills have been filed with the Wyoming State Legislature sanctioning same-sex unions. The first is an all-out gay marriage bill and the second, a civil unions bill.

Openly lesbian Democrat Rep. Cathy Connolly, of Laramie, filed both bills Jan. 14 and has solicited four Democratic cosponsors, Reps.

James Byrd and Mary Throne of Laramie, Sens. Bernadine Craft of Sweetwater and Chris Rothfuss of Laramie and to the surprise of many, four Republican cosponsors, Rep. Keith Gingery of Jackson, Rep. Ruth Petroff of Teton, Rep. Sue Wallis of Campbell and Rep. Dan Zwonitzer of Laramie.

All would rather see the full gay marriage bill move forward, but hope that a backup would be supported if marriage is not.

“We’re the Equality State.

I think it’s important for us to stand up to our moniker,” Connolly said in a statement.

“It’s a basic human rights and fairness issue,” Petroff told the Jackson Hole News & Guide. “It’s a basic constitutional issue. There should just be no reason why same-sex couples shouldn’t have the same rights as everyone else.”

Co-sponsor Gingery is the chair of the Wyoming House Judiciary Committee, which will first see the bills to determine if they will be debated by the full House. He said the issue poses a legal problem that state officials need to resolve.

“The population of gay couples in the state is increasing, and the law is not very clear about what rights they have,” he told the News.

This will be the fourth time

the Wyoming Legislature will have debated faced the gay marriage issue. It has not yet passed in any form.

The marriage bill, HB 169, would define marriage as a civil contract between “two natural persons,” rather than the current wording, between “a male and a female person.”

If it becomes law, the wording will simply open the rights of marriage to all couples, including same-sex couples.

The civil unions bill, HB 168, would set up a new legal framework for domestic partnerships for same-sex couples to “obtain

the rights, responsibilities, protections and legal benefits provided in Wyoming for immediate family members.” These domestic partnerships would be granted all benefits, rights and responsibilities of a spouse under all state rules and laws.

Gingery hopes the debate this year will be different than previous attempts, noting there are many new legislators, many of whom have direct connections to same-sex couples.

“It’s hard for anyone to be against gay marriage when there’s a face to it and that face is a friend or relative,” he said.

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10 | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 215 | february, 2013

2013 Utah Legislative preview

by Seth Bracken

While neither bill is yet officially registered with the Utah Legislature, both a statewide nondiscrimination bill and a bill legalizing second-parent adoption will be considered in this year’s session.

Each year comes with surprises, both good and bad, but Equality Utah Executive Director Brandie Balken said she is cautiously optimistic about the legislative session, which runs Jan. 28-March 14.

“I always feel a great sense of anticipation for the legislative session, and this year I also feel cautiously optimistic,” she said.

Anti-Bias Bill This year’s anti-bias bill will mirror similar regional measures passed in Utah municipalities, she said. Equality Utah and Democratic sponsors are working with potential Republican allies in the legislature to take a bipartisan approach. No co-sponsors have yet been announced, however, and the final language of the bill is unavailable.

The drive to protect employees and tenants from discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity started in 2008 by openly lesbian Rep. Christine Johnson, D-Salt Lake City. The bills were part of the Common Ground Initiative, sponsored by Equality Utah, focusing on legislation that would be seen as “fair and just” by most Utahns, regardless of political party. At the height of tension between the queer community and the LDS Church due to an effort to ban samesex marriage in California through Proposition 8, Equality Utah and others fought to find common ground with the Mormon Church and Republican legislators.

The bills never made it to the floor, although in 2008 and 2009 the bills were considered in a committee hearing.

After Salt Lake City passed similar

ordinances in December 2009, with the blessing of the Mormon church, the momentum to have statewide protections was palpable. However, in a controversial move, Johnson chose to table the bills as part of a compromise with Republican leaders. As part of the agreement, all queerrelated bills — both positive and negative — were put on hold in exchange for allowing Salt Lake City and other municipalities to keep their own measures.

Nearly two dozen Utah cities and counties have since enacted nondiscrimination ordinances, which typically forbid landlords with four or more units and employers with 15 or more employees from eviction, termination or refusal to hire based on actual or perceived sexual orientation or gender identity. Religious organizations, such as the Mormon Church, are exempt.

Johnson did not seek another term after the 2010 session and moved to lead Equality South Carolina. Sen. Ben McAdams, D-Salt Lake City, who replaced openly gay Sen. Scott McCoy in late 2009, took up the bill and tried to take it to the floor in 2011. Despite repeated efforts, McAdams, a straight, married member of the Mormon Church could not gain any traction and the bill was not debated.

“I think there is room in our Utah community to offer protections at work and at home for members of the gay community that doesn’t compromise the values of other members of the Utah community,” McAdams said. “I think we can have protections and we can value religious liberty at the same time.”

Second-parent adoption Rep. Rebecca Chavez-Houck will sponsor a second-parent adoption bill which would allow unmarried partners to jointly adopt children. While Utah law does not single

out gay couples, the ban on unmarried partners from adopting effectively bars gay couples from jointly adopting.

While acknowledging the long-shot chance the bill will clear the legislature, Chavez-Houck said it is still important to start a discussion.

“I don’t know at this point what the chances are of it being considered — probably still slim. However, we have a number of new legislators who have joined our ranks and I hope to use this as an opportunity to inform and introduce them to the challenges faced by many families in our community due to the current law,” she said.

Utah gay couples have been unable to legally adopt children since 2000 and Chavez-Houck has introduced legislation each year since 2008 to change the law.

“I hear the horrific stories of where a child knows two individuals and the biological mom or dad dies and this other partner, who this child knows, has no legal right to that child,” Chavez-Houck said. “I can’t imagine being in that situation, having lost one parent and the other parent isn’t your parent. I think that’s a horrible thing to do to a family.”

While the bill has never made it out of committee, it is an important issue for many gay family members and those who would like to adopt in the future.

Restoration of Terminated Parental Rights and Rights of Parents and Children In a rehash of previous bills that were tabled or never made it to committee, Rep. LaVarr Christensen, R-Sandy, is sponsoring two bills about parental rights. The language of the bills is not released and he did not return repeated emails to learn more about the bills.

Christensen was the author of Utah’s Amendment 3, which banned the state from recognizing same-sex marriage performed elsewhere and defined marriage as a union between one man and one woman.

He’s since made moves to attack gay couples’ ability to enter legal contracts and he is backed by the Utah Eagle Forum.

Parental Responsibility for Sex Education Training After last year’s failed attempt to overhaul Utah’s sex-education policies, Republican lawmakers aren’t finished. Sen. Stuart Reid, R-Ogden, is proposing a measure that would offer classes and online resources to parents for teaching about sex in the home. The bill would not replace existing sex-education policies and procedures. Q

NEWS | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | 11

february, 2013 | issue 215 | gaysaltlake.com

UofU to offer genderneutral student housing

by Michael Aaron

Beginning the Fall semester, University of Utah students will have the option of living in gender-neutral housing, as the school is changing the 12-student Alliance House on Officers Circle to a gender-inclusive environment giving students the ability to explore their own identities.

In August, the University of Utah was named as one of the top 25 most welcoming schools in the nation by Campus Pride, a national nonprofit organization for student leaders and campus groups working to create a safer college environment for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender students.

According to the study, the University of Utah earned a 5 of 5 possible star rating on six of the eight categories used to determine the rankings. In LGBT Policy Inclusion, the U received a 4.5 rating and in LGBT Housing — Residence Life it fell to 3.5.

Specifically, the report shows that the U does not have 3 of a total 32 criterion they sought: an accessible, simple process for students to change their name and gender identity on university records and documents; LGBT housing options/themes; and insurance coverage for students transi-

tioning from male to female or female to male to cover hormone replacement therapy.

Kai Medina-Martinez, director of the Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Resource Center at the University of Utah, told the U student newspaper, Daily Utah Chronicle, that the lower housing ranking helped drive conversation and enforce changes in the university’s housing policy.

“It has been something that we have talked about with the LGBT Resource Center for a couple of years now and with the ranking, the timing was right,” said Barb Remsburg, director of housing and residential education.

“What the Alliance House is doing next year is basically saying, ‘We don’t care what your gender is,’” Scott Jensen, assistant director of resident services told the Chronicle. “You don’t have to tell us — you don’t have to identify.”

Jensen also said that the house is already half full.

“The Alliance House is aimed at creating a welcoming environment to students of different backgrounds,” reads the description of the house on the university’s housing website.

“Those who live in the Alliance House will promote the educational, cultural, and social

empowerment of the members within the house and throughout the community. Residents of the Alliance House will also be able to select a space without consideration of gender identity/expression, or sexual orientation. Residents will be able to live in a gender-inclusive environment that gives them the ability to explore their own identities, and find common ground with one another in a safe and affirming environment. Members of this community will use group discussion, programming and educational experiences to expand their knowledge about the things that make us unique and inspiring individuals As an Alliance, we stand strong in the face of prejudice, injustice, and inequality. We strive to bring awareness to our residential community of different issues that are important to all of us

as diverse human beings.”

Each of the housing units on Officers Circle, which were part of Fort Douglas and became student housing after being renovated and used for the 2002 Winter Games, has a unique focus. One is a think tank for health care innovation, others are focused on students studying the fine arts, business or law.

The Alliance House has four single rooms, two of which have their own bath, and four double rooms. The six upstairs rooms share four single-person baths. It also has several study areas, two living rooms, a kitchen and dining room, laundry facilities, and a multipurpose room.

The builing was originally a duplex built in 1874-1876 to house officers of the Fourteenth Infantry and their families. Q

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12 | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 215 | february, 2013

Heavy and Light Tour raises funds, awareness for suicide, depression

by Seth Bracken

Since 2007, representatives from To Write Love on Her Arms have been spreading awareness about suicide, depression and suicide.

Through various media and viral campaigns, the group has helped start discussions and raise funds for suicide support groups around the world.

The latest effort is a series of

some events together.

Why did you want to be involved with TWLOHA? It’s a mutually beneficial thing. I think they believe in people and they believe in hope and that’s an important thing. I like the positive focus. But it’s also exposed my music to people that wouldn’t have heard it.

I have to say, I love your music. I love the authenticity of your voice and lyrics. But I guess you haven’t reached mainstream success.

For those who haven’t heard your stuff before, how would you describe your music? To be self-deprecating, it’s kind of sad music. It’s stripped down Americana alt-folk.

The broader genre would be singer-songwriter, but I think there’s more to it than that. It’s definitely lyric-based.

Christian home and decided it wasn’t for me — in an organized corporate sense. In that song, especially, that was a time I was searching and writing from a perspective of someone in the church and the fallacies and the way people are viewed from within the church. I still draw on religious imagery because it’s something that’s engrained in me, even though I don’t believe in the system.

That’s where I’d say my influence in Christianity has led.

Have you been to Utah before? Yes, I have. But It has been a couple of years.

Who are you listening to right now? Who’s on your iPod? I’ve been playing acoustic music for seven years now and as much as I love the genre, I find myself hitting walls.

I’ve been experimenting with electronic music. So I’ve been listening to Memory Tapes, Nicki — The Dove, Active Child and Washed Out.

What do you remember about it? I was reading Under the Banner of Heaven while we drove through, so it was kind of creepy. It was strange to learn about the history and the dark side of the Mormon Church. But I met some great people and had a really nice time.

concerts and performances in cities around the nation. On Feb. 1, the Heavy and Light Tour will stop at The Complex in Salt Lake City.

To find out more about the show, we caught up with Noah Gundersen, a featured musician in the tour and a longtime supporter of TWLOHA. For tickets and more information, go to twloha.com.

How did you get involved with the Heavy and Light Tour? I met the founder several years ago. He got a hold of my music and we started doing

I think the tours encourage people and let them know that they’re not alone. That’s a big part of my connection with fans. I think my music taps into basic human emotions What happens at the show? It’s kind of a traveling circus of encouragement.

There are a lot of different artists on the bill. Everyone’s playing a stripped-down set.

But there’s also other performances, for example, there’s a poet performing. You can expect to come away encouraged and feeling good.

I’d love to chat about some of your music. From your latest EP, my favorite song is Family. Can you tell me the writing process behind that song? I was in Austin, Texas in 2010 at the South By Southwest show. I’m not a huge crowd person. A lot of really great things that happen there, but it’s also kind of mass debauchery. It’s lots of fun, but the dark side of humanity began to leer on me. As I was there, I came to this humbling place of realizing that we’re a global family. Even those I don’t enjoy being around are just as much my family.

The other song that stands out to me is Jesus, Jesus. What role do religion, faith and spirituality play in your writing process? I was raised in a

Do you have any guilty pleasure music? I love Katy Perry.

I think she’s kind of a guilty pleasure. She’s an incredible performer and artist. I guess Lana Del Rey, is she guilty pleasure?

We’re the local gay magazine and TWLOHA and suicide and drug awareness are very poignant issues for our community. Do you have any advice for your young gay fans? I think as cliché as it is, my only advice would be don’t be afraid to be yourself.

I know it gets thrown around too much. But it’s important to connect with others who are having the same struggles you are. That would be my only advice.

Any last words for QSaltLake readers? We’re putting out a new record in 2013, so watch for that. Q

NEWS | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | 13

february, 2013 | issue 215 | gaysaltlake.com

not as i do ‘Ex-gay’ leader accused of orchestrating wife’s murder A leader of an anti-gay Christian group in the Kansas City, Mo., area is suspected of orchestrating the murder of his wife, whose death was first thought to be a suicide, the Kansas City Star reports. The group, which is connected to the International House of Prayer, is virulently anti-gay. And its leader, Tyler Deaton, was against homosexuality because he was gay, the Star reports.

“He struggled with it, but he overcame it,” a member of the group told the Star. “It was a victory.”

Deaton is suspected of being behind the murder of his wife, Bethany Deaton, 27, whose body was found in the back of her van. After her death, Micah Moore, a member of the group, turned himself in and told authorities he was forced into committing the murder.

He also shared details of the acts that

allegedly happened in the prayer group.

anti-gay group Lawyer Charged with child pornography A lawyer with the anti-gay Alliance Defending Freedom was arrested on child pornography charges. Lisa Biron, a New Hampshire lawyer associated with the ADF, also known as the Alliance Defense Fund, is charged with taking a teenage girl to Canada and filming their sexual encounter. Federal prosecutors allege the following charges: two witnesses have testified to seeing Biron in possession of ecstasy, marijuana and cocaine; Biron sent a threatening text message to the person who turned her in to the police, advising him he would have to watch his back “FOR EVER.”; Biron sent a text to a friend saying she might flee to Cuba because she had “nothing left.”; Biron has asked people to lie to law enforcement about her case; other juveniles have been subjected to Biron’s sexual activity and drug use.

Quips&Quotes

“ “

I think it’s also a legal reality that now people are being allowed to create legal status over here. And if they create it in Maryland and they go on a trip, and something happens to them on that trip, what’s their status if they want to go to the local hospital? I think the Republican Party, first of all, is a very complicated institution. It has a lot of different people in it, some of whom in fact were much more prepared to accept that than others. But I think on balance we’re going to remain the conservative party.”

—Newt Gingrich

Openly gay is a bit strong because when we think of openly gay we think of walking down the street with your boyfriend, but there are players who know that this player may have a boyfriend or may not date women and that’s just it. It’s not talked about. He’s there to do a job … One particular guy I know of keeps things very separate. But everything else that his teammates do, he does. If they go to the Waffle House late at night or if there’s a barbecue or a smoke session at someone’s house, this guy goes and just exists just like everyone else. His partner may not take part in that.”

—Openly gay former NFL player Wade Davis Read

“

14 | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 215 | february, 2013

Utah Cty GOP disinvites speaker for pro-gay views Glenn Reynolds, a law professor at the University of Tennessee and writer of what many call one of the most popular conservative blogs known as “Instapundit,” is not conservative enough for the Utah County Republican Party because he is not anti-gay.

Reynolds said he had been invited to speak at the party’s annual $60-a-plate Lincoln Day Dinner in February, but was deemed “too controversial” because he is not against gay rights. The dinner, according to the county party’s website is organized to celebrate “the history and values of the Republican Party.”

Reynolds announced through Twitter, “Just disinvited from speaking by @UtahGOP because my support for gay rights makes me ‘too controversial.’ Er, okay. #BigTentorTeepee?”

He posted on his blog soon after: So, over the years I’ve often said that in my ideal world, happily married gay couples would have closets full of assault weapons.

You’d think that right now, with all the gun-owner-hating going on, that the second half of that statement would be the controversial part. But you’d be wrong.

I was just disinvited from a scheduled speech by the Utah County, Utah GOP because — after a special meeting to discuss the subject — I was deemed “too controversial” because of my support for gay rights. Er, okay.

Having an unpaid speaking gig (which I seldom do anymore) canceled is no hardship. And people are welcome to believe what they want to believe, and invite whom they want to speak — but as the GOP looks at why they’re viewed as intolerant, well, this kind of thing might be part of it. “Big tent” or teepee? Your choice.

But future inviters be warned: While I take a live-and-let-live view toward social conservatives, I’m not one myself. Take it or leave it.

Reynolds does not consider himself a conservative, but rather more Libertarian.

Fellow GOP Libertarian, Doug Mataconis, said the Republican Party has been moving away from the concept of the “big tent” since the words were spoken by Lee Atwater. Atwater, a GOP strategist during George H.W. Bush’s 1989 presidential bid, said, “Our party is a big tent ... We can house many views on many issues. Abortion is no exception.” It is believed Atwater

borrowed the phrase from Democratic House Speaker Thomas “Tip” O’Neill, who used it to praise the Democratic Party in 1975.

“The ‘Big tent’ that Lee Atwater once famously spoke of no longer truly exists.

Dissenting from perceived orthodoxies, or indeed daring to say even the slightest praiseworthy thing about the President or some other Democrat, gets one branded as a “RINO.” There are some parts of the country, no doubt, where support for gay rights wouldn’t be a problem for local GOP organizations — states like New York, New Jersey, Illinois, and California come to mind most immediately — but in the areas now commonly thought of as the heart of the GOP? Hardly. I’d expect the same reaction from a Republican group in Alabama, Idaho, or South Carolina,” Mataconis wrote.

Other conservative bloggers are rolling their eyes at the decision as well.

“Why should they be afraid of listening to someone who thinks otherwise, especially if that person agrees with their positions on a whole host of other issues?” asked The Atlantic’s Conor Friedersdorf.

The Utah County Republican Party passed their platform last year which

echoes Utah’s Amendment 3: “We believe that marriage consists only of the legal union between a man and a woman and that no other domestic union should be recognized as a marriage or given the same or substantially equal legal effect.”

David Acheson, chairman of the Utah County GOP, says that Reynolds was never invited to speak at the event. He says that official invitations have not been made to any potential speaker.

“No one in leadership, not in the steering committee, not in the central committee or the executive committee, has approved any invitation to anyone for the dinner,” Acheson told the Daily Herald.

Acheson said he plans to speak with Reynolds to discuss the mishap.

SLC stays on ‘Advocate’ Gayest Cities list

While last year, The Advocate declared Salt Lake City the gayest city in America, sending shock-waves around the state, the magazine has now chosen Tacoma, Wash., dropping the city of salt to number six in this year’s rankings.

While last year’s criteria helped launch us to number one, in part because we do have an International Mr. Leather competition semi-finalist and a nude yoga instructor, this year’s criteria wasn’t so SLC-friendly.

Salt Lake won two points for LGBT elected officials, one point for a Scissor Sisters concert, three points for having Whole Foods, West Elm and Pottery Barn, and four points for roller derby teams.

Our city lost points for having no companies in the HRC Corporate Equality Index, transgender protections, gay rugby, bisexual resource groups or marriage equality.

Yes, the criteria selected each year is a bit cheeky, but it does make for good discussion in the winning cities.

“Although we shake up the criteria

each year—a mix of more predictable, well-reasoned, and off-the-wall—we never know which cities will make the list until we start tallying the points,” says Matthew Breen, editor in chief of The Advocate. “So it’s a nice surprise to us as well when an unexpected place delivers more gay cred than we expected. But the dialogue this list sparks is the ultimate goal.”

The lineup: 15. St. Louis 14. Salem, Ore. 13. Colorado Springs, Colo.

12. Providence, R.I. 11. Oakland 10. Twin Cities, Minn.

9. Atlanta 8. Madison, Wisc.

7. Eugene, Ore. 6. Salt Lake City 5. Seattle 4. Washington, D.C. 3. Spokane, Wash.

2. Springfield, Mass.

1. Tacoma, Wash.

NEWS | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | 15

february, 2013 | issue 215 | gaysaltlake.com

Book about family with lesbian moms back on school shelves Davis School District has returned a children’s book about a family with lesbian parents to its library shelves, according to the American Civil Liberties Union. The decision came after a lawsuit was filed by the American Civil Liberties Union on behalf of a mother with children in the district.

“Parents may still use the library’s normal procedures to prevent their children from checking out particular books without removing those books altogether. I’m glad the school understands they made a mistake when they took the

book off the shelves,” said Tina Weber, the mother who filed the challenge. “A small group of people shouldn’t be able to impose their personal values on everyone else by taking away access to books they might disagree with. It’s not their job to decide what my kids can read – that’s my job as a parent.”

In Our Mothers’ House, by acclaimed childrens’ author Patricia Polacco, was initially placed in the Easy Reading section of Windridge Elementary School in Davis County. After some parents complained the book

was inappropriate, the school district instructed librarians to put the book behind a counter and to lend it only with written permission from a parent.

This decision also applied to the three other school libraries with copies of the book.

The lawsuit argued that including books in the library depicting families with samesex parents does not constitute endorsement or “advocacy of homosexuality,” which is banned by current Utah sex education law.

The ACLU now hopes to reach an agreement with the school district to ensure that similar books are not improperly restricted.

“The library should be a place where students can be free to learn about the world around them,” said John Mejia, legal director of the ACLU of Utah. “That can’t happen if a book is kept behind the desk, leading students to believe that there’s something wrong with it. We’re glad the school has removed that stigma. Now we just need to make sure that this does not happen again.”

Polacco was inspired to write the book after attending a school assembly where a girl with same-sex parents was not allowed to read an essay about her family because a teacher said she didn’t have a “real family.” The Davis School District does not censor any of Polacco’s other books, which focus on families of different backgrounds and cultures.

“Children with same-sex parents shouldn’t be made to feel like their families are

something to be hidden away,” said Joshua Block, staff attorney with the ACLU Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Transgender Project. “Davis County schools include kids from all kinds of families, including ones like the family depicted in this book. We’re glad the district recognizes this book’s place is out on the shelves, not out of sight.”

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16 | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | SPORTS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 215 | february, 2013

Gay ski weekends to attract hundreds Elevation Utah Hundreds of gay men and women from around the country will descend on Park City for the third annual Elevation Utah gay ski week, Feb. 21–24. Much like its sister event, a ski week in Mammoth Lakes, Calif., that attracts more than 5,000 people, the Utah rendition will have all the traditional skiing events as well as private parties in Park City and Salt Lake City.

The event was launched in 2011 and attracted more than 300 people. The event has more than doubled in size, said Tom Whitman, event organizer and president of Tom Whitman Presents.

“Our 2011 debut year for Elevation Utah totally reminded me of our first year of Elevation Mammoth — we had a great group of about 300 to 350 guys, all of whom had an amazing time and couldn’t

stop talking about how they wanted to come back and build the event each year,” Whitman said. “That’s what I wanted for our first year in Utah. With an event like this, we don’t make money the first few years, it’s all about delivering a great event, attracting a core group to the event from out of town, and introducing the event to the locals.”

After visiting the local ski resorts several times and meeting locals, Whitman said Utah was his obvious second choice after starting Elevation Mammoth. Terrific local bars, an excited population and a need for an event like Elevation Utah helped him decide to launch the program.

“I think the local gay population is hungry to have an event like this,” Whitman said. ”I want this event to feel like it’s not only an event for people traveling to Salt Lake, but an event for the local guys as well. And as it grows, I want it to be a part of the community, and that includes it benefiting local organizations.”

In addition to all the events, fundraisers for local queer charities are held and the activities provide an opportunity to lend a hand in the community while having a great time.

“We’re really excited about this year’s Elevation events,” said Whitman. “The crowds, the events and the entertainment will all be bigger and better than the previous Elevations. People coming to this year’s events are going to come for some serious fun and skiing and leave with great memories.”

For parties and events, local and California-based disc jockeys will be spinning at bars PHOTOS: TOM WHITMAN PRESENTS

in Park City and Salt Lake City. The lineup includes DJ Casey Alva, DJ Josh Peace, DJ Chris B, DJ Lishus and DJ Harry Cross Jr. “I want to grow Elevation Utah to be an even bigger event than Elevation Mammoth. The potential for Utah is huge, partially because it is so easy for East Coast, Midwest and international guys to get to Salt Lake City,” Whitman said.

“But just like Mammoth, I want the Utah event to feel intimate and friendly. One thing I’m most proud of with Mammoth is that the event still feels like a group of extended friends getting together to have fun. Everyone is super friendly, in a good mood and no one has an attitude. That’s what I’m going for. It just happens to be an extended group of 3,000 friends.”

The first Elevation event was held in Mammoth in 2002, and has grown to, well, mammoth proportions. The week has separate groups for lesbians, enormous dance parties and other events as the gays take over the town. As the city streets are lined with pride flags and local businesses advertise their excitement and acceptance for the gay week, it’s almost a winter pride festival in Northern California.

Tickets to the Elevation Utah weekend lineup starts at $120 for general admission. Go to utahgayski.com for more information and to purchase tickets.

Elevation Ski Week ‘QSaltLake’ Discounts Utah residents save $40 off the price for the VIP Party Pass or the Party Pass.

Utah residents get 50 percent off individual nighttime event tickets.

QSaltLake readers get an additional $10 off the purchase of a Utah Resident VIP Party Pass or Party Pass before Feb. 15. Enter code, “QSL” to receive the discount. Q

SPORTS | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | 17

february, 2013 | issue 215 | gaysaltlake.com

The week prior to Elevation Utah, the Queer Utah Aquatic Club will be hosting their annual Ski-n-Swim the weekend, Feb. 15–17. The QUAC Skin-N-Swim is an official United States Master Swim Meet event, and last year it attracted swimmers from around the state.

The party gets started on Friday, Feb. 15 at 7:00 pm at the Judge Cafe. Join with old and new friends to enjoy some great food and get fired up for the weekend. The opening social is included with registration or to currently registered QUAC members. Extra tickets are $5.

An after-party will then be held at Club Metro starting at 9:30 p.m. There will be no cover charge for those registered for Ski-n-Swim.

The main event — the swimming competition — will be held at the Fairmont Aquatic Center. Registration will be from 7:30 to 8 a.m., with warm-ups beginning at 9 a.m. Competition starts at 10 am. Competitors must register, but those who want to simply watch and cheer their friends (or look at the eye candy) are welcome free of charge. To compete in the swim meet is $30 for online registration and $40 day of. A current U.S. Masters membership is required, but there is an option of a $15

one-event fee.

On Saturday evening, the fun moves to the Gallivan Center Ice Rink. Costumes, wigs, hats and accessories are encouraged and skating begins at 5:30 p.m. Dinner will be served at 7 p.m. Tickets for the ice rink can be purchased in advance for $8, $10 at the door. Dinner, which sold out last year, will be $25.

On Sunday the event will move to the Snowbird Ski Resort for skiing, boarding and relaxation in Little Cottonwood Canyon. There will be a private meeting

room at the Cliff Lodge where lunch will be served, as well as a respit for your tired legs through the rest of the day. Join the group at the Cliff Spa at the end of the day for a soak in the roof-top hot tub or for relaxation in the steam room and dry sauna.

Spa services can be reserved by calling the Cliff Spa at 801-933-2222. Special Ski-NSwim prices are: full-day skiing, lunch and spa, $110; lunch and spa, $40; spa only $15 at snowbird.com For information about how to register for the swim meet or join QUAC for skiing, go to ski-n-swim.org.

Ski-N-Swim Friday

Opening Social - Judge Cafe After Party - Club Metro Saturday Swim Meet Fairmont Aquatic Center Dinner - Gallivan Center Ice Skating - Gallivan Center

Sunday Ski and Spa Day - Snowbird visit www.ski-n-swim.org for more information

February 15 - 17, 2013

PHOTO: DAVID DANIELS

QUAC Ski-N-Swim

18 | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

“ “ “

Salt Lake City is actually a pretty good city for gay life.

The community is just about the best organized and welcoming I’ve ever associated with due to the perceived hostility of “The Church.” It’s definitely better than Albuquerque or Las Vegas.

views

gaysaltlake.com | issue 215 | february, 2013

QSaltLake Magazine welcomes your letters to the editor.

10 things we heard last month

—Roberty Lowe

It gets tiresome to hear constant barrage against Salt Lake City.

It’s an amazing city for its size.

There are more kind and caring people here than in many places and it’s clean, which is more than you can say about San Francisco.

Please send your letter of 300 words or less to letters@ gaysaltlake.com.

We reserve the right to edit for length or libel if a letter is chosen for publication.

—Ben Williams

Can we be honest about this?

This article exists solely to create controversy. The criteria are laughable since it doesn’t count nightlife, gay-owned businesses or gay social and political organizations at all (a much better measure than the existence of a roller derby team) ... I know it makes all you guys in Salt Lake feel a little better about having to put up with all the BS in Utah, but it is a PR stunt to drive traffic to the Advocate website so they can increase their advertising rates.

“ “

—Curtis Jensen

Why cannot the state establish a system to bill parents who reject their own children? To affect real change, religious denominations that teach parents to discard their LGBT children should also be taxed.

—Bruce Robinson

IHC does offer domestic partner benefits, but only after 12 months of living together. The cost of the benefits are $234 a month for just the partner, the employee/dependent cost is additional. That price is well out of reach for a significant portion of their employees, me included.

IHC should not be applauded for domestic partner benefits until they are actually accessible.

—Ben Visser

“ “

Kids quickly learn not to report bullying incidents, because the school will do little or nothing to the bully, and next time the bullying will be worse.

—John Schild

Is it good news or bad news for marriage equality that the Supreme Court has decided to hear the Proposition 8 case? My thought is that, if the Supreme Court were inclined to agree that Prop. 8 is unconstitutional, they would have allowed the lower court rulings to stand and not messed with it. Does that they are going to hear it indicate that they’re inclined to over-rule the lower courts?

—George Limberakis

“

My two cents: I think that even if the court may be inclined to uphold the Proposition 8 decision, the reasoning of some of the justices to accept the case would be to settle the case Constitutionally. If they let the lower court decision hold without hearing the case, Prop 8 would be overturned but a constitutional decision would not have been decided that would affect other states’ amendments — and so for the court to take the case is very meaningful — and I hope that is why most of them voted to hear the case. We will have to wait and see — we are used to disappointments, let’s hope not this time!

—Michael Talbot

“

We need to talk, community members. In any family, wholeness and love and health come from healthy communication. And that’s what OUTreach Resource Center is providing: a place for members of the community to get together and rationally talk about and share information about issues where there are differing thoughts.

“

—Peggy Bon

I noticed that the Pride Center and the new senator commended the new Mormons and gays site.

I am troubled by that. It is a fantasy land, dream world.

—Ross Poore

VIEWS | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | 19

february, 2013 | issue 215 | gaysaltlake.com

from the editor

Ruzicka can be stopped

by Seth Bracken seth@qsaltlake.com

As we’re

on the verge of starting a new legislative session, queer activists are watching two measures in particular — a statewide nondiscrimination bill and a second-parent adoption bill. The latest attempts to move a nondiscrimination bill come on the heels of conservative activist Gayle Ruzicka promising to continue her effort to bar any equality measures.

At the annual Eagle Forum dinner and fundraiser, Ruzicka promised to fight queer rights activists and show her strength in the legislature.

And with the amount of local and national representatives in the audience, it appears she does have an enormous impact on lawmaking. While she is neither elected nor particularly popular in Utah, Ruzicka has a very strong position with an extremely well-organized network of loud individuals who call their legislators, donate to causes and volunteer whenever asked. This is a small minority of Utahns who are directing public policy against the wishes of the majority.

But they’re not unstoppable.

Despite a relatively simple path in the Utah House and Senate last year, a new sex education bill that gutted the very limited program already in existence, was vetoed by Gov. Gary Herbert. Office representatives said they had never received so many phone calls and emails demanding a veto and Herbert actually listened to his constituents, unlike the legislators who are dependent on the Eagle Forum for funds

and support to make it through increasingly difficult Republican primaries and conventions.

With new energy, an openly gay senator and growing support for nondiscrimination measures, Equality Utah will be working with a bipartisan commission to move the bill forward. The bill will most likely mirror existing measures passed in nearly two dozen Utah municipalities, starting with Salt Lake City in 2009.

In order for the bill to clear a difficult committee battle and a general assembly where Republicans hold a super majority, Equality Utah can’t do it alone. We need to fill the inboxes and keep the phones ringing off the hook of all our representatives and senators.

Whether you live in a Republican or Democratic district, a simple phone call and email from a few hundred people friendly to the queer cause could make all the difference in the world.

The Utah Legislature’s website is surprisingly simple to use and you’ll be able to find the email addresses of lawmakers in no time. You can also set up an email alert that will send you a message whenever a bill is being considered. And, of course, follow gaysaltlake.com and like our Facebook page for all the latest information. To find your legislator’s email and phone number, go to le.utah. gov.

While Ruzicka and other conservatives are vowing a fight to stop equality measures, they are on the wrong side of history. It’s up to us how quickly we prove it. Q

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20 | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 215 | february, 2013

thinking out loud

Confessions of a Marriage Doubter

By Abby Dees abby@qsaltlake.com

I’ve been

writing about marriage a lot lately, which seems weird to me because even up to my own wedding in 2008, I had mixed feelings about the massive focus on marriage equality over the last decade. I mean, when I came out in…well, a different century, we weren’t talking much about marriage as a major goal. We talked about rights, damnit. All of them. Marriage too, I guess, but there was some odd mix in our collective queer psyche that both poopooed marriage for aping heterosexual norms (we talked this way then) and thought that achieving marriage equality was about as likely as changing the word “God” to “Goddess” on our money. There were more important things to fight for anyway.

We could enumerate our demands like we could count Madonna hits on our fingers: an end to workplace discrimination, sodomy laws, and gay bashing; access to hospital visitation and adoption; the right not to be declared an unfit parent just because you were gay or lesbian; positive representation in the media; recognition of

bi-national couples, and the right to political asylum based on sexual orientation or gender identity. The closest we got to marriage was domestic partnership, which we fought for and won in many places.

All of these things were so practical and necessary and all are still pressing issues somewhere, even if we’ve moved forward in other places. We wanted then, and now, to live our lives like anyone else without running head first into stupidity, ignorance or violence.

Marriage, though, was different.

Marriage had baggage. If you were someone’s wife not long ago — and today in some cultures — you were his property.

Marriage in history was about securing money, property and power. And for me, chronically single and compelled to chase after indecisive idiots throughout most of my 20s and 30s, marriage didn’t have a thing to do with my freedom as a lesbian.

If you asked me in 2000 what the biggest issue facing our community was, I’d have said employment discrimination. Domestic partnership was important too, of course, and I was happy, single as I typically was,

sanctity of marriage Americans more loyal to credit than marriages

Man accused of torturing, raping wife

Americans are more likely to maintain a relationship with a credit card company than with their own spouses, according to a new report by the U.S. Census Bureau.

In 2009, the average divorce came eight years after tying the knot, while the average credit card holder keeps the same account for more than 10 years. The same report found that approximately 50 percent of all marriages will end in divorce.

A 24-year-old Pennsylvania man is accused of raping and torturing his wife as well as trying to make her flee the country. Authorities say Lirim Rufati abused his wife for more than a year before driving her to the airport and attempting to force her onboard a plane to her homeland of Macedonia.

However, he did not accompany her past the security checkpoint and she was able to alert police as soon as

he was out of sight. He was arrested and bail was set at $250,000.

Man who shot pregnant wife denied appeal A North Carolina man was denied a retrial following his 2010 conviction of charges including first-degree murder. In 2008, Robert Broom shot his then-pregnant wife, which required doctors to perform a caesarian operation and remove the girl, who later died. Broom was sentenced to life without opportunity for parole. He denies that he meant to kill his wife or his unborn daughter.

to fight for it. It made good, practical sense if you were lucky enough to hook up with a normal person.

What’s happened now that I’m beating the drum for marriage equality? Did I finally drink the Kool-Aide? Am I a patriarchy-and-heterosexuality-blinded zombie? No, and I still don’t like to be called anyone’s wife. I just got to the core of the thing: The difference between marriage and domestic partnership, aside from the fact that “domestic partnership” will always look better on a numbered administrative form than embossed in fancy curlicues, is a sense of dignity.

If we had civil unions under the law for everyone, and marriage were only a spiritual contract, then I’d be all over the domestic partnership thing. But that’s not the way our culture does it. Marriage is the brass ring of agreements. The courts have held it to be the bedrock relationship of our society since the Magna Carta. (In fact, the 1879 Supreme Court case that upheld bans on polygamy didn’t mention morality; instead, it spoke about protecting the democratic system: If a man could have a dozen wives, he became, essentially, a despot). In its most basic form, everyone knows, more or less, what you mean when you say, “We’re married.” Likewise, everyone understands why you sometimes need a divorce, but I once had to explain to someone, repeatedly, why she needed to dissolve her domestic partnership when the relationship tanked.

As the right wing reminds us, marriage is special and important — which is why we’re fighting so hard for it. Marriage equality could happen as soon as 2013. It could move us dramatically closer to legal equality in all realms, regardless if we’re single, married or otherwise arranged.

I get why some people don’t give a toss about conventional marriage. I’ll fight for their rights too. But most of us, LGBT or not, and me too, are inevitably drawn back to our cultural roots. It can be a beautiful thing as long as we don’t get all zombiefied about it. Q

VIEWS | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | 21

february, 2013 | issue 215 | gaysaltlake.com

the straight line

Protecting Utah’s Families

by Bob Henline bob@qsaltlake.com

When

the legislature meets this year, Rep. Rebecca ChavezHouck (D-Salt Lake) is planning to reintroduce a bill she’s been running for the past five years. The bill, regarding co-parent adoption of a child, is very specific in its scope and intent: 1. One of the parents must already have full legal custody of the child; 2. The child must not have any other parents; 3. The adoptive parent must live with the legal parent and the child in a family relationship, even though unmarried; 4. The legal parent must ­consent.

The bill, very simply, allows for the parent of a child (if they are the only parent) to have his/her unmarried partner legally adopt the child in order to provide additional security and stability to the family unit.

This only applies in cases in which there is not another parent in the child’s life, so it would not impact the rights of non-custodial parents.

Under current Utah law, unmarried cohabiting couples (regardless of gender identity or orientation) are not allowed to adopt children. This proscription also applies to situations in which one of the parents already has a child or children and wishes for the partner to adopt the child(ren). ChavezHouck’s bill would remove the proscription in those cases, allowing the legal parent to decide if he/she wants his/her partner to adopt the child(ren).

Ultimately, this bill falls short of addressing the grow-

ing issues of legal inequality in our society. That being said, however, this isn’t an equality bill. It’s a bill designed to help protect families and children, especially in difficult times.

Imagine a parent with a cohabiting partner. There is no other parent in the life of the child, but the cohabiting partner isn’t allowed to legally adopt the child. Then the worst happens, the legal parent is killed.

These child is now a ward of the state, unless and until some other family member, who may or may not be familiar with the child, steps in to assume responsibility. Even if the legal parent had arranged for the partner to assume guardianship of the child, that doesn’t provide the same legal binding, rights, and responsibilities of legal adoption. In addition to losing a parent, the rest of this child’s family is now shattered and in a state of legal limbo.

As I sat with Chavez-Houck to discuss this bill, I could see the emotion in her face, hear the concern in her voice, for the plight of children and families in Utah. She asked me if I would be able to sleep at night if I was a single parent without the right to let my partner adopt my children, every day and every night carrying the worry of what would happen to my children and my family if something terrible were to befall me. I could see the fear people in that situation must feel reflected in her eyes.

Yet here we are, in a state that ostensibly values family, with a legislature that prides itself on supporting the rights of parents to make the important decisions regarding the welfare

of their children, and ChavezHouck has been pushing this bill for five years.

Do we, as a community, value our children? Do we want to protect them? Do we support strengthening families?

Do we believe that ultimately it is the parents should be making the decisions about the welfare of their children? Yes, we do. As such, we must take this necessary step to ensure that our children and their family units are protected.

Once the bill is numbered, it will be submitted to the House Rules Committee for assignment. Most likely, it will be assigned to the Health and

Human Services Committee, which will review the bill and vote on whether or not to forward to the full House for consideration. Given the current make-up of the HHS Committee, this bill is going to need widespread community support to move it forward. I encourage everyone to follow this bill and contact the members once it is assigned to committee.

This is a very simple issue, it’s about protecting children and families and ensuring that they are all treated fairly. As Chavez-Houck put it, “all Utah children and all Utah families should be treated equally. It’s all about fairness.” Q

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22 | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 215 | february, 2013

lambda lore

A bleak beginning for gay rights

by Ben Williams ben@qsaltlake.com

To a young

homosexual awakening to his or her sexual orientation in Utah, there were no positive role models in the 1950s to which one could aspire. Society’s predominant view of homosexuality was typified by the Salt Lake Tribune editorial board’s opinion that it was a “social evil that must be fought.” The Idaho Statesman, even more virulent, called homosexuals “monsters” to be crushed. Virtually all editors of newspapers along the Rocky Mountain region called homosexuality everything from “moral perversion” to a “cancerous growth.” Children learned at an early age that to be called “queer” was about as demeaning as any name calling could be.

Homosexuals in Utah were virtually invisible because the concept of homosexuality was revolting to the general public who viewed it akin to a social disease.

The archives of Utah’s largest circulated newspaper, Salt Lake Tribune, revealed few articles on homosexuality from 1950 to 1959 and those were mostly in regards to criminal conduct and national security.

The Deseret News was even less inclined to report on homosexuality as if the very mention of it might incline some to indulge in the practice. These few news reports would have been all a homosexual in the 1950s saw him or herself portrayed in the media.

For Utah homosexuals of the 1950s it was mostly a time of quiet desperation.

Sexually active homosexuals guarded their sexual identity closely without any institutional or community support. The legal system regarded them as sex offenders, perverts, molesters, deviants, unnatural, degenerates and security risks. All churches of the 1950s viewed homosexuals as immoral reprobates and sinners, while society described them in a whole catalog of disparaging names; queer, faggot, sissy, pansy, fruit, pretty boy, pervert, effeminate, tom-boy, lezzie, lesbo, dyke. It was a bleak time to be gay.

In heterosexual society, homosexuals

were also viewed as a threat to national security. Dwight Eisenhower, upon assuming the presidency in 1953, banned employment of homosexuals. His Executive Order 10450 stated that “sexual perversion” was a condition for firing a federal employee and for denying employment to potential applicants.

As the nation’s largest employer, the federal government’s 1953 security policy had far-reaching effects on private employment practices. Federal guidelines were widely copied by the private sector and almost immediately the “closet doors” of homosexuals slammed shut. Any accusation of homosexuality could be reason for dismissal from public service jobs and private employment forcing homosexuals deep into the closet.

On July 2, 1953 the Deseret News featured the headline “107 Fired in State Department” underscoring the new government-sanctioned discrimination against homosexuals, which would last for next two decades. The entire weight and authority of the United States was now against the queer “menace.”

Still, the 1950s should not only be remembered as time of intense persecution, but also as the start of a rudimentary gay movement in America. The Mattachine Society and the lesbian organization, Daughters of Bilitis, were two early “homophile” organizations which heroically promoted positive images of homosexuals in an era of extreme prejudice.

The term homophile was coined as a positive recognition of the love between homosexuals rather than their sexual nature. These homophile organizations had a broad and far-reaching influence beyond their local meetings. They published newsletters and small magazines that reached a national audience.

The Mattachine Society printed a pamphlet called The One, which challenged the post office’s definition of obscenity.

The DOB’s publication, The Ladder, was ground-breaking and gave encouragement and hope to those women lucky enough

to find copies. Through the efforts of the Mattachine and DOB, the modern gay rights movement began and, in time, would spill over even into Utah.

The Mattachine Society The Mattachine Society was started when Harry Hay, a disillusioned former member of the American Communist Party, along with a handful of other California homosexuals, met behind closed curtains in the Silver Lake District of Los Angeles in April 1951. These men created the first organization since the 1920s, to promote the ideal that homosexuals were a sexual minority and deserving of civil rights and freedom from persecution. The Mattachine Society’s Homosexuals in name was chosen from Utah were virtually a medieval invisible because term for a the concept of truth teller, and for two homosexuality was decades was revolting to the the largest general public national homosexual organization in America.

Harry Hay eventually found himself deposed as leader of the Mattachine Society in 1953, when conservative homosexuals wished to sever any ties with the radical origins of the Society by disavowing its communist roots. Fearful that any connection with communism would destroy the credibility and usefulness of the Mattachine Society, new leaders, reflecting the political realities of general society, morphed the homophile organization into a very subservient body; only willing to take small steps towards the goal of equality.

Mattachine’s new conservative leaders, in direct contradiction to the society’s original manifesto, stated, “We do not advocate a homosexual culture or community and we believe none exists.” Harry

VIEWS | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | 23

february, 2013 | issue 215 | gaysaltlake.com

Hay however had taught that homosexuals were a community with a culture, a people whose defining traits were based on being a sexual minority. Hay was too radical and too novel for the times but later in the 1970s he founded a new homosexual movement known as the Radical Faeries that adopted much of his philosophies and views that gay people were a distinct “folk.”

Daughters of Bilitis The Daughters of Bilitis was formed in 1955 by a lesbian couple, Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon. It was the first lesbian civil and political rights organization in the United States and mobilized homosexual women into a distinct and separate political movement from that of homosexual males. Martin and Lyon, at the age of 87 and 83 years, were the first

same-sex couple to wed in San Francisco after the California Supreme Court’s decision legalized same-sex marriage in California briefly in 2008. Two months later Martin died.

Historian James Kepner, founder of the ONE National Gay — Lesbian Archives located in Los Angeles, stated in a lecture given at the University of Utah’s Lesbian and Gay Student Union Conference in 1984 that he had a recollection that Salt Lake City once had a branch of the Mattachine Society. He believed it existed in 1954. It is entirely possible that an attempt at forming a group was made. Unique social ties between Utah and California’s Mormon homosexuals created an exchange of ideas between the two states. If a Society did exist

in Salt Lake City, there are no other recollections of it other than Kepner’s.

The lack of any knowledge of a Mattachine Society in Salt Lake City has several possible causations. It may not have existed long enough to have made a lasting impression on Salt Lake City’s homosexuals, mostly whom would have been closeted. It also may have been that any attempts at establishing a chapter of the Mattachine Society was done by Utah homosexuals who later fled to more tolerant climates leaving no collective memory behind.

The old saying, “The faintest pencil is better than the best memory,” is never truer than the lost of any collective memory of a Salt Lake Chapter of the Mattachine Society. Q

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24 | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 215 | february, 2013

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by D’Anne Witowski danne@qsaltlake.com

I don’t

know if you’ve noticed, but national approval of Congress is down. Like, way down. You know what’s more popular than Congress right now? BP during the oil spill in the Gulf. That’s right. People hate Congress more than they hate oil soaked pelicans and sea turtles.

You know what is up? Like, way up?

Support for marriage equality.

So if you were John Boehner, Speaker of the U.S. House, what would you want to focus on in light of these numbers? Where would tax-payer money be best spent?

Why, on defending the Defense of Marriage Act, of course!

On Jan. 3 Boehner authorized the continued use of your money to the losing battle of defending DOMA, the 1996 law that defines marriage as between one woman and one man, and which President Bill Clinton signed (boo).

The Obama administration has called DOMA unconstitutional and is no longer defending challenges to the law. This has driven Boehner and Co. absolutely nuts and so, using taxpayer money, they decided the House would take over the job of defending this unconstitutional law.

This is a very crazy time for DOMA seeing as the Supreme Court is going to hear a case about it in March.

Granted, it isn’t surprising that Boehner and his fellow Republicans are freaking out about this. Anti-gay hysteria has long been a staple for them. But for a guy who would rather your grandma eat cat food than a billionaire pay another dime in taxes, it does call into question how sincere Republicans are about their garment wrenching over fiscal issues. We don’t have money for Social Security, but for beating up on gays? Oh, sure. Here’s a blank check.

Gotta have priorities.

Many people are, unsurprisingly, calling Boehner out on this. According to ABC News, Drew Hammill, a spokesperson for Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi said,

“House Republicans will send a clear message to LGBT families: their fiscal responsibility mantra does not extend to their efforts to stand firmly on the wrong side of the future.”

Hammill continued, “As House Democrats have time and time again made clear, the BLAG (the House’s Bipartisan Legal Advisory Group, which is defending the law) does not speak for all Members of the House of Representatives and we will continue to oppose this wasteful use of taxpayer funds to defend DOMA.” Other Democrats criticized the Republicans as well.

“You know, they are like flamingos — We don’t have no, ostriches money for Social — with their heads in the Security, but for ground,” beating up on gays?

Rep. Jim Oh, sure. Here’s a McDermott, blank check. Gotta D-Wash. told the have priorities Seattle Post Intelligencer.

“They cannot see what is going on in the country around them. They just keep doing this crazy stuff.

This crazy stuff is taking over the Republican Party. The tide of history has turned against them. They just refuse to recognize it.”

McDermott continued, “(House Republicans) are the people who made a big deal about opposing earmarks, yet they keep spending money on this stupid lawsuit.

Spending $1.7 million on a lawsuit doesn’t bother them.”

DOMA has been struck down in Federal appeals court and with the current administration refusing to defend it, this decades-long anti-gay chapter in history may well be coming to an end. DOMA is a sinking ship. Let’s hope it takes Boehner along with it. Q

VIEWS | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | 25

february, 2013 | issue 215 | gaysaltlake.com

a mom’s view

Inspiration and action for the tough times

by Leesa Myers leesa@qsaltlake.com

This is

my seventh article for QSaltLake. When I first went to Michael and Seth with the idea to write “A Mom’s View” articles about my experiences as a mother of a gay son, I had only three articles in my head. They were easy: My Son is Gay, Phone a Friend and Here Comes the Family. What was next?

When I approached my son Jay with my idea, I wanted to make sure he would be was OK with me writing the articles, since they concerned him. His questions to me were: what is my purpose for writing the articles and what do I want the readers to get out of them? He also wanted to make sure they are from my viewpoint and not his. Both Michael and Seth with QSaltLake asked me the same questions as well.

I still have not fully answered those questions, even to myself. So, let me clarify a little more here for you. Why did I write the articles? I am not a writer; I have not gone to school to write; This is not my business; and who cares what I am thinking? Yes, there are a ton of moms Inspiration and who have action! This is gay, lesbian, how I have lived transgender and bisexual my life children, so why me?

Inspiration and action! This is how I have lived my life, especially the last 10 years. Inspiration comes to me through my meditations, songs, readings, quotes and experiences.

A thought comes to me and I say, “That sounds like fun,” and I act on it. Sometimes it works out better than I would have ever thought and sometimes it struggles and ends. There is always a lesson and always growth to be had from each experience.

I do not often regret my inspirations and actions as they usually come from the best intentions.

My two-year Interfaith Ministry in New York City came from inspiration after a weekend retreat on facing my fears. The facilitator was a minister and she explained how she became an Interfaith Minister.

The thought came to me, “That sounds like fun,” and the action was next. I was enrolled at One Spirit Interfaith Seminary.

The details came later; how to pay and how to get to New York City twice during the course. I graduated as an Interfaith Minister in June, 2008.

I hope the legacy I leave my family and friends is to live life, have fun and know you are supported.

So, back to the questions, why the articles. I want to let moms know they are not alone on their journey. I want to show that moms make mistakes and we learn from them. And I wand to let the LGBT community know the story from a mom. Maybe it can be a starting place for conversations with their moms.

God knows, I do not have all the answers, I do not even know the questions most of the time. I come from inspiration and action. If this resonates with you, great! I would love to hear of your times of inspiration and action.

I really want to thank Michael, Seth and the QSaltLake team for letting me write a few articles and now to have a column. I am honored and excited to know I have a few more articles than six to write.

I encourage you to ask for inspiration and step into action. Life is waiting for you and there are incredible experiences waiting to happen. All it takes is action. You are supported. Q Leesa@LeesaMyers.com

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26 | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 215 | february, 2013

wtf?!

Gay couple assaulted at screening of Barbra Streisand film Two gay men attending a screening in Louisiana of The Guilt Trip, starring Seth Rogen and Barbra Streisand, were assaulted.

Joseph Menard was arrested and charged with battery. Walt Jamison and his partner were watching the film when Menard yelled anti-gay slurs from the seats behind them.

Another movie-goer asked Menard to quiet because her young children were in the audience. However, Menard insulted her as well and told her to sit down. He then hit Jamison as he went to alert theater manage-

ment. After Menard and his wife fled the theater police found the couple and charged them with battery and resisting arrest.

Former priest arrested on drug charges A Connecticut priest was arrested for his alleged role in a national crystal meth distribution ring. Federal agents arrested Kevin Wallin, formerly of the Catholic Diocese of Bridgeport, and charged him on several drug counts. Prosecutors say the drug ring spanned the country and reached all the way to California. The 61-year-old former church leader and four others were indicted by a grand jury on six counts of possession.

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GAY SCOUT AWARDED EAGLE BY LOCAL COUNCIL, DENIED BY NAT’L The Mount Diablo-Silverado Boy Scout Council in California approved a gay scout’s Eagle application after more than 460,000 people joined his mother’s campaign on Change.org, despite the Boy Scouts of America’s long-standing anti-gay policy. The national organization wasted no time in denying the award, “The Eagle application was forwarded, by a volunteer, to the local council but it was not approved because this young man proactively stated that he does not agree to Scouting’s principle of ‘duty of God’ and does not meet Scouting’s membership requirements. Therefore, he is not eligible to receive the rank of Eagle.”

like Marriage equality bill introduced in Wyoming Wyoming lawmakers introduced two bills that would grant marriage and marriagelike rights to gay couples.

One bill would grant full marriage equality to same-sex couples while the other is a civil union bill. Democrat Cathy Connolly and Republican Keith Gingery are sponsoring both efforts. However, both said they would prefer to see full marriage equality.

The marriage bill simply alters current law to contract marriage between “two natural persons” instead of “a male and female person.” The civil union bill would create a new legal framework and would require much more clerical and administrative work.

Domestic partner bill introduced in Florida A Florida lawmaker introduced a bill that would extend legal protections to same-sex couples in the state. Sen. Eleanor Sobel, D-Hollywood, introduced the Families First

bill which would serve as a domestic partnership registry and extend benefits to partnered state employees. While not full marriage equality the bill makes significant advances for queer rights in the Sunshine State.

Equality Utah named top LGBT group Equality Utah was named as one of the top 12 local equality and support groups in the country. Philanthropedia, a division of GuideStar which reports on U.S. nonprofits, ranked the group seventh among gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and ally organizations that had a high impact on their local community.

Over 100 experts across the country working in the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender sector were asked to recommend up to four nonprofits making significant contributions in LGBT equality and support on the national level and up to three nonprofit making a significant contribution at the state and local level.

VIEWS | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | 27

february, 2013 | issue 215 | gaysaltlake.com

who’s your daddy?

2 dads are better than 1

by Christopher Katis

We have

a wonderful friend whom we know from our time living in Los Angeles.

To say Carol is the greatest is really a gross understatement.

She’s generous, sweet and kind. She also thinks we’re the best parents in the world. And never misses an opportunity to tell us.

Carol’s also an avid reader of this column, and over the past few months has told me she’s seen a change in its tone. She says it’s become more serious.

Maybe she’s right, but I think

Body noises are funny! Yeah, it’s immature. Sure, it can be a little gross.

But man, are body noises funny it’s become more cranky. And that’s certainly not my intent.

So with a nod to my dear friend, Carol, I present to you the Top Ten Reasons Gay Men Make the Best Dads.

Body noises are funny! Yeah, it’s immature. Sure, it can be a little gross. But man, are body noises funny. Whereas a traditional family is more likely to discourage them — and we certainly do not encourage them — when they happen, it’s OK to burst out laughing — so long as you excuse yourself first, of course.

Halloween isn’t just a holiday, it’s an adven-

10.

9.

ture! Let’s face it, Halloween wouldn’t even be a big deal if it weren’t for gay people.

Halloween in the Castro? In West Hollywood? These events made the holiday. So when you’ve got a couple of gay dads in charge, you’re guaranteed the coolest costume and the best time. One year we dressed Gus up as Liberace! Hearing a 3-year-old dressed in a white tux and a bedazzled cape say “I Liberace” got guffaws of laughter — and extra candy.

You’re going to know how to cook when you’ve got two gay dads. Our kids know how to make homemade pasta from scratch. Enough said.

Sports are encouraged.

No, we don’t live vicariously through our kids, but the only time the television is allowed on during dinner is when the Utes play football.

We don’t take you to the circus; we take you to Cirque Du Soleil! Live performances are a part of everyday life when you’ve got two dads.

Christmas explodes in gay households! Excess in decorations is the name of the game. We had five trees, counting the little one in Niko’s room, more than a half dozen wreaths, and a 60-plus army of nutcrackers.

You’re always the bestdressed kid in school.

OK, so our kids wear uniforms to school, but it’s not unusual to see them sporting slacks and polo shirts just when they’re out and about.

Gay dads are all the rage.

Hardly a kid they meet doesn’t think it’s totally cool

8.

7.

6.

they have two dads. All the girls just think it’s adorable — trust me, when they become straight teenagers, the boys are so going to take advantage of that.

It instills confidence.

Take it from me; it takes a lot of self confidence to be an openly gay dad in Salt Lake.

That confidence rubs off.

And the number one reason gay men make the best dads: We’re really nothing more than taller, heavier and hairier little boys. Gay

2.

1.

guys just know how to have fun. Some ideas kids come up with are viewed as ridiculous by too many people. We find it brilliant! It’s how Kelly and I end up playing “Who’s the Bravest” by walking out onto frozen creeks. And honestly, being a couple of big kids is what makes being a dad so much fun.

Writing this top-ten list reminded me of yet another reason I love and adore Carol so much — she always reminds me why I dig being a dad. Q

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28 | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | VALENTINES

gaysaltlake.com | issue 215 | february, 2013

2013 Valentine nalists

As Valentine’s Day draws near, we like to open our pages for gay and lesbian couples to share their stories.

Although we may not have full marriage equality under the law in Utah, there are still thousands of couples committed to one another and growing together. We asked our readers to send in Valentines and we’ve chosen a few of our favorites.

Jackie & Alex

This picture was taken in July when we went down to Vegas to meet Alex’s mother. We had been together for about six months. It was a great trip and his mom and I hit it off wonderfully. I was a little nervous because there is a bit of an age gap between Alex and me. He is 23 years old and I am 43. We met on a phone application called Scruff in January. We have been together since.

We’re going on a year and we share a home, our four kids and our lives. Recently we had his mother, father and brother at our house for Thanksgiving and he and I spent our Christmas holiday with his mother. I was alone for 13 years and was fighting depression and self-medication from a bottle. I stopped drinking, lost some weight and started feeling happy with my life and that is when we met. When I started giving a damn about myself is when somebody else started giving a damn about me. And I love him for that. All my scars and imperfections didn’t phase him at all, he loves me and is proud of me just the way I am. He’s amazingly brilliant. At 23 he is so much more together and accomplished than I was at 23 — even at 43! We are celebrating our first year together Jan. 21.

Megan & Christina

My name is Megan and my sweetheart’s name is Christina. We met three years ago at a teen drag show at a bar called the Garden in Des Moines, Iowa. I’m in the military and I saw that she was having a bad day. I stopped and talked to her and got to know her to see how things were going and what was wrong. She explained that she was having trouble with her ex, but I told her to text or call if she needed anything.

Time went by and we talked occasionally. Eventually we both knew we were each other’s soul mate. We have been engaged off and on because I keep messing up and letting the stress of getting ready to deploy build and I take it out on her. I never mean to, but now I’m in Afghanistan serving a 9-month-long tour, which is almost done. And every day I try to show her how much she means to me and how without her by my side during this deployment I would be nothing and won’t have accomplished the things that I have.

She is the love of my life and what keeps me going. I don’t normally do contests like this because I know that there are couples out there with more interesting stories than ours, but if you want to know true love, it’s us.

Mark & Kevin

We meet a while ago at a meeting for Understanding Same Gender Attraction, a group at Brigham Young University. It is closest thing to a gay-straight alliance that BYU has ever had. In fact we both were featured in the BYU It Gets Better video. I was the sad sack from the beginning and he was the cute one in the BYU football T-shirt.

Although we met in my final semester, fall of 2011, we did not start dating until the summer of 2012, about 10 months later. We had limited interaction due to my lack of social involvement at the time. I eventually started spending time with fellow USGAers outside USGA meetings. We had our first substantial interaction at Gay Day at Hogle Zoo. Then a couple if weeks later we went to Club Pure together and connected throughout the weekend of Pride. We have been together ever since.

I am a recent BYU graduate working at Hill Air Force Base. I grew up in the military but my parents retired in Kansas. I currently live in Salt Lake with Kevin and my sister.

Kevin is a recent transfer student to the University of Utah from western Washington.

He is a self-proclaimed nerd and I can confirm that.

We once were struggling with reconciling our upbringing and sexuality but now love our lives together. We may be a young and new couple, however, we are in love for the first time.

A boy who loves a boy, Mark

VALENTINES | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | 29

february, 2013 | issue 215 | gaysaltlake.com

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30 | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | INVISIBLE GAY SENIORS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 215 | february, 2013

INVISIBLE GAY SENIORS

The double-suicide of an older gay couple in their Salt Lake City home raises the question in the community of what can be done to help support our elders, especially those with serious health issues.

february, 2013 | issue 215 | gaysaltlake.com

Salt Lake

City police say 70-year-old Andre Pappas shot his 67-year-old “domestic partner,” Theodore “Ted” Beehakis, before killing himself at the home they owned together at 1011 S. 400 East. Officers and fire personnel responded to the house on a welfare check just after 10 a.m. Jan. 4 after a hospice worker was unable to reach them by phone.

Older gay couples, as well as singles, often become invisible in our community as they age. What they saw as the “gay scene” no longer seems to welcome them. Many, having grown up in a time where homosexuality was severely looked down upon, are not out to their family or friends and, therefore, become reclusive lest someone find out their “secret.”

Many who were open to their families are now are estranged, facing rejection on religious or other lines.

Indeed, no obituary was placed by any friends or family for either of these two men.

Few, if any, will know what led to this final day, whether there were other options available, or whether this was a brave, yet sad, act of mercy — a last resort.

Different CONCERNS For many lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender seniors, their biggest concern now is not trying to conform to an unwelcoming society, but rather, who will care for them as they get older. They are less likely to have ever been married or have children, leaving them without a close relative to take on the role of caregiver.

Many LGBT seniors do not feel comfortable in standard senior services. They lack trust or even may fear what would happen to them if their sexual orientation or gender identity were to be disclosed.

Lisa Krinsky, director of The Aging Project, a Boston-based nonprofit organization that advocates for the rights of LGBT elders, estimates that as many as 80 percent of LGBT seniors fear disclosing their sexuality to family members and health care providers, and are unlikely to seek any sort of dependent care because of the risk a caregiver will learn their secret.

“These seniors have an internalized fear of not being safe,” said Krinsky.

As a result, many organizations that serve the elderly worry that those who are LGBT may die early and alone.

The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force released some very concerning data,

INVISIBLE GAY SENIORS | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | 31

backing the fears of aging gays: • Up to 75 percent of LGBT older adults live alone; 90 percent do not have children and 80 percent age as single persons — increasing their need to rely on formal systems of care.

• Over 70 percent of LGBT elders are “tentative” about using agencies that serve older adults.

• Elder service agencies that had offered or funded LGBT training for their staff were three times more likely to have received a request to assist a transgender person and twice as likely to have received a request to help an LGB older adult in the previous year.

• Only 19 percent of LGBTs have tried to have any contact with their local senior center.

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How you are living your life from the When asked if there are any specific serrules created in your childhood. vices for gay or transgender elders in Salt How those rules have been the basis for Lake County, Ken Venables, public relahow you treat yourself and others. tions coordinator for the Salt Lake County Aging Services replied, “We don’t really How to define these rules, and how they inquire as to a potential and/or current have been running your life. client’s sexual orientation. Our mission is to promote independence for older adults How to change the rules to get what you through advocacy, engagement and access Really Want! to resources.”

Pressed for further comment, he only Seating is limited said, “Salt Lake County Aging Services For More Information and to provides programs and resources for all Register by February 17, visit seniors should they choose to avail themselves of them.”

MyLifeWorks.com With the above data, it is reasonable to 801-871-5303 assume that most of Salt Lake’s aging gays are likely turning to friends, if anyone, to help them in their later years.

As the division does not take sexual orientation into consideration for its services, some of the basic needs of LGBT elders are not being met.

While they say they offer information and referral for seniors, there is no visit our student spa data of what services esthetics: the art of enhancing have gone through the face and body both physically any kind of gay-relatand psychologically

801.530.0001 skinworks.edu

32 | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | INVISIBLE GAY SENIORS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 215 | february, 2013

INVISIBLE GAY SENIORS CONTINUED

ed sensitivity training. They do not know or ask if a gay person’s same-sex partner will have visitation rights, or worse, the ability to make decisions on their loved one’s care.

“Without complex and often expensive legal arrangements in place, LGBT elders’ partners or other loved ones may be shut out of medical decision-making or denied visitation,” states a report coauthored by SAGE and the LGBT Movement Advancement Project. “There is limited government and social support for families of choice. LGBT elders rely on family-ofchoice caregivers, who often do not receive the same legal or social recognition as biological family caregivers,” The report maintains that health care environments often are inhospitable to LGBT elders. Many professional caregivers are not accepting of, or trained to work with, LGBT elders. These providers may be hostile, discriminatory, or simply unaware

that LGBT elders exist.

The report also found that nursing homes often fail to protect LGBT elders.

Nursing home rules, together with prejudice and hostile treatment on the part of staff and fellow patients, can create unwelcoming environments for elders who are unable to advocate for themselves.

National Center of Lesbian Rights Elder Law Project took his case on.

When someone hears a horror story such as this, one can see that there would be trepidation dealing with an agency that doesn’t have explicit rules or programs regarding sexual orientation or gender identity, such as Salt Lake County.

HORROR STORIES

UTAH PRIDE CENTER’s SAGE PROGRAM

Many gay seniors also fear unequal treatment by governmental services because of their sexual orientation. Their fears are not entirely unjustified.

Even when a Sonoma County, Calif. gay couple went to the expense of legal arrangements, when one was incapacitated through a fall, the county terminated the couple’s lease, removed the other partner from their house and placed him in a nursing home, and auctioned off their belongings.

The partner who fell died a few months later, and the other spent the last two years suing the county. He won because the

To help address the issues of Utah’s gay elders, the Utah Pride Center launched the SAGE — Services and Advocacy for GLBT Elders — program in 2009. It is part of a national program with affiliates in 16 states.

“We’ve known for quite sometime that there hasn’t been any programming for the older segments of our community,” said Jennifer Nuttall, the Center’s former adult programs director at the time of the launch. “Statistics show that as the Baby Boomers age, there will also be a boom of

INVISIBLE GAY SENIORS | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | 33

february, 2013 | issue 215 | gaysaltlake.com

LGBT elders ...

A tidal wave is coming and we definitely want to be prepared for that.”

The Center has since hired Charles Lynn Frost to run the services of SAGE. He joined SAGE, he said, because of Charles Lynn Frost a lack of services available in Salt Lake for gay elders.

“City programs for gay seniors are nonexistent,” he said. “One of the services I see is needed is gay elder housing — either through renovation of existing properties, new small construction or co-housing models for LGBT seniors. Other needs are city-wide programs for seniors, specifically customized for gay elders, and safe spaces for gay elders to gather, communicate, celebrate, learn and gather support.”

Frost sees dramatic differences in needs for seniors as they progress through the decades.

“A 40- to 50-year-old has much different needs than someone over 75,” he explains.

“Gay elders must have advocates and demographic funding. They also need designed and developed programs that help them tap into getting these needs met for a quality of life that is beyond just existing, but meaningful as they define it.”

He says there are five major areas he is focusing on: 1. Physical, including healthcare accessibility, medication affordability, access to LGBT caring providers of all kinds, LGBT cultural competency training for healthcare professionals, nutrition, shelter, air quality, protection, mental health accessibility and solutions, safety, sexual intimacy, exercise and activity, and the power of touch.

2. Social, such as human contact and connection, activities that are meaningful to and designed for gay elders, being with others who may help them better understand how to navigate aging issues, panels, forums, community conversations, being able to continue contributing to others that are in greater or different need, and simply talking to

other human beings.

3. Emotional, support from biological family, created family, relationships, organized friendship groups, neighbors who understand and care and get involved, meaningful one-on-one friendships, small activity groups that create bonding and connectivity, love from the LGBTQ community as well as the straight community, being understood and made to feel important, having protected civil and equal rights, regular in-home and out-of-home interaction, and interpersonal power.

4. Intellectual: life-long learning, mental activity, engagement in thought leadership and solutions, reading, powerful and challenging on-going learning, sharing back, mentoring, coaching, revealing history and personal stories and journey.

5. Spiritual: having a life with meaning and connection, rejuvenation, enlightenment, music, nature, sharing and giving back, a community where they are unconditionally accepted and embraced, being empowered to choose what god,

Winter Potluck Carnivale

A Not to Be Missed Event!

Saturday Feb. 23, 2013 6:30-9:00PM

Everyone Welcome!

Pierpont Place

Salt Lake City’s Premiere Event Place 163 West Pierpont Avenue (between 200 & 300 S, 100 & 200 W)

Pre-validation Downtown Parking for SAGE available for $4.00 in 3-story parking lot directly north of Pierpont Place

Potluck Items:

(by first letter of last name please bring) A-E--Appetizers F-O--Fall Main dishes P-Z--Desserts SAGE Utah will provide Utensils, Venue & Entertainment Dancing with period Disco flashback dancing lessons

by Michael Hamblin A Full Photo Booth, photographer & photographs available for purchase on site (booth donated by Michael Sanders, Now & Again) Other exciting Carnivale activities FULL & reasonable cash bar

for additional info--contact charles@utahpridecenter.org

www.UtahPrideCenter.org

34 | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | INVISIBLE GAY ELDERS

if any, they want, need or believe in, writing, life stories, intergenerational interaction and conversation, and peer support.

HOUSING In larger cities in the country, gay senior housing projects are just launching. This is true in Los Angeles, Chicago and San Francisco, and a new low-income gay senior housing project just broke ground in Philadelphia, spear-headed by Philadelphia Gay News publisher Mark Segal.

“These are the people who grew what we now call a gay community. It was their idea to create gay community centers.

It was their idea to create health centers. It was their idea to take care of our endangered youth. And now we, as their community, must take care of them. They shouldn’t have to scrap for food and a place to live every single day. They should be able to live out their years with comfort, dignity and acceptance — what they fought so hard to win for all of us,” Segal wrote in an op-ed pice announcing the

project’s ground breaking.

Frost has similar, if not more realistic for a city our size, aspirations. He has several plans for either a small new-construction or renovation housing project, or finding housing units which several senior gays can live together, each sharing the load with their own capabilities.

“We can have maybe five LGBT people living together, some doing the cleaning, others maintaining the property and others even working to pay the bills,” he said.

Such a project, of any size, would require a community involvement to make it happen. Philadelphia’s project is costing $19.5 million project in federal, state and city funds. Los Angeles’ Triangle House is costing $21 million. Frost hasn’t put together numbers on his plans, but recognizes that funding will be necessary to bring them to fruition.

WHAT IS STILL NEEDED Frost says that community leaders at all levels need to recognize that many gay seniors are at risk and in need of support, education

gaysaltlake.com | issue 215 | february, 2013

and information. They also need the younger queer community to recognize this and find ways to step up and support elders.

“Become involved in knowing your neighbors,” he said. “Get involved and become aware of SAGE Utah and its programs and offerings. Understand the unique set of problems and issues that the large number of ‘boomer’ seniors currently face.”

“We need to see the gamut of our life as a community, rather than just certain specifics and activities that tend to dominate people in their 20s through 40s,” he continued. “We, as a community, need to adjust the mindset or obsession with youth, beauty and physical perfection. We need to embrace aging as important, as dignified and as a time for wisdom to be shared and transferred.”

Frost celebrates the West African wisdom, “If elders are lost, adults will be lost; and if adults are lost, youth will be lost.”

SAGE programs can be found through the Utah Pride Center web site at UtahPrideCenter.org.

Transgender Seniors are even less visible A recent new set of recommendations released by SAGE (Services and Advocacy for LGBT Elders) and the National Center for Transgender Equality sheds light on systematic issues facing the growing population of aging transgender Americans.

The report, entitled “Improving the Lives of Transgender Older Adults; Recommendations for Policy and Practice,” focuses on how insurance companies, Medicare and cultural stigma prevent aging transgender people from receiving proper care.

According to the report, “The existing research on transgender people paints a picture of many people aging in isolation and without a network of knowledgeable or welcoming providers in the aging, health and social services arenas.”

This isolation can have profound effects on the aging transgender population. The report explains how “in order to avoid the stress of dealing with incompetent service providers, many transgender people do not seek care until they experience health emergencies and, in some cases, have died in the absence of medical care.”

The report includes the stories of aging transgender seniors to illustrate the struggles and challenges facing this population.

Helena, a recluse transgender woman, worries about the current state of elder care for transgender people.

“My friend who’s ‘adopted’ me is 60 and her husband is 76, so pretty soon we’ll be taking care of him,” she said. As she and her friend age, themselves, she doubts her friend’s adult children will be able to care for her, too.

“That’s really my biggest fear right now — not having the freedom to control my dignity,” said Helena..

“I’d say the biggest problem I see across the board on a daily basis is isolation,” she said.

“The senior transgender people I know will not feel comfortable going to a mainstream senior center and being out,” she said. “They might go, but they might choose to keep their gender orientation a secret, because they don’t quite feel comfortable in that setting declaring that they are transgender.”

The report suggests changing the wording of Medicaid and offering cultural competency training to make aging transgender adults more comfortable and trusting of traditional health facilities.

The full report is at www.lgbtagingcenter.org/resources/ resource.cfm.

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36 | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

arts

gaysaltlake.com | issue 215 | february, 2013

15 things you should do in February

revue, Save 2nd Base. Show, raffle and prizes.

8pm–1am, Roy Eagles, 5130 S. 1700 West., Roy, $5 for members, $6 for non at the door.

(More events at gaysaltlake.com.)

ADAM & STEVE

1friday

Plan-B Theatre Company brings two best friends together on stage. Steve is openly gay. Adam is openly Mormon. Set against the backdrop of the passage of Prop.

8, these childhood friends grapple with religion, sexuality, politics and adulthood in Adam & Steve and the Empty Sea. Featuring Topher Rasmussen and Logan Tarantino and directed by Jason Bowcutt.

Jan 31–Feb 10, Thurs–Sat at 8pm, Sat at 4pm and Sun at 2pm. Studio Theatre, Rose Wagner, 138 W 300 South. Tickets $20/$10 students, planbtheatre.org

3sunday

Whether you watch for the commercials, the tight ends, or (gasp) the game, it’s best to watch the Super Bowl on a big screen where there is plenty of beer and people around to hoot and holler.

Both The Trapp and Club TryAngles will host.

5tuesday

Ever since he began playing alongside Sting in the mid-80s, Branford Marsalis gave me the gift of the love of hearing a baritone sax, as his music crackles with the same “fire and excitement” that can burn a hole through your soul.

7:30pm, Kingsbury Hall, UofU Presidents Circle.

Tickets $34.50–64.50, kingtix.com, 801-581-7100

9saturday

Tired of the art on your walls and looking to swap it out? What?

Your walls are bare? Run over to the Oops! I Ran Out of Wall Space! Art Swap and Sale, bring your excess original art and sell it or walk away with some incredible deals on some incredible art. No posters or reproductions, art you’ve collected, not your own personal art you’ve created.

9am–noon, Art Access, 230 S. 500 West.

Sellers should arrive between 8 and 9 a.m. to set up and must remain with their art. 15% commission to Art Access. sheryl@accessart.org

10sunday

Women of Utah, bring your friends & families to the annual Utah Her HRC brunch to benefit the Human Rights Campaign. Squatters’ scrumptious brunch food and their famous $2 brunch drinks. Live music and prizes. Afterward, you can join the gang at Plan-B Theatre Company’s Adam & Steve and the Empty Sea across the street 11 am–4 pm, Squatters Pub Loft, 147 W. Broadway, Brunch Tickets $25, Brunch and Theater $45 at tinyurl.com/herhrc

16saturday

It’s Tardi Mardi Gras on the biggest, gayest, funnest bus to

West Wendover, Nevada: The Big Gay Fun Bus! Beads and baubles and debauchery, oh my!

Featuring the Matrons of Mayhem and a rowdy bus load of gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and friendly straight gamblers looking for a great time.

Leaving Club Try-Angles, 251 W 900 South at noon, returning the same day by 9pm. $25 gets the ride, $5 cash back, a free seafood buffet and drink tickets. biggayfunbus.com

• If gambling isn’t your thing, then perhaps SLUG Mag’s 24th Anniversary Party: The SLUG Mag Tattoo Parlor is for you. They have invited some of their favorite artists to tattoo custom designed SLUG tattoos for anyone 18 and up, free of charge(please tip.)

8pm to midnight, SLC Photo Collective 561 West 200 South, Appointments not necessary. 21+ may RSVP for the private party lounge to rsvp@ slugmag.com.

22friday

If you’re a naughty guy or gal and want to meet up with the out-of-towners here for Elevation:Utah Gay Ski Week, they will be partying at JAM tonight with LA DJ Josh Peace. Harry Cross Jr. gets it started at 9pm.

9pm–2am, JAM, 751 N. 300 West. $5 cover after 10:30pm

23saturday

The Imperial Rainbow Court of Northern Utah will be raising funds to combat breast cancer in their annual all-female

• The Utah Arts Festival will take over the Rail Event Center for their annual Masquerade Party and Texas Hold ‘Em Tournament on Saturday, February 23, 2013 at The Rail. Just-for-fun casino gaming, great tunes, and delicious culinary creations made by students of the Art Institute of Salt Lake City, inspired by Girl Scout cookies. Prizes given for the best mask .

6-11pm, Rail Event Center, 235 N 500 West. 21+, Tickets $50–75, uaf.org, 801-322-2428

24sunday

An evening of glitz and glam at the 23rd annual Oscar Experience Gala to benefit the Utah AIDS Foundation. Watch the Academy Awards, enjoy live entertainment, superb dining and an incredible silent auction.

Black tie optional, festive attire encouraged.

6–11pm, Rail Event Center, 235 N 500 West. 21+, Tickets $120-150, utahaids.org/events/oscar-2013/

• Pop singing duo and real-life partners, Jason & deMarco, are setting out on the road again to spread their unique brand of inspiring music. Their “Celebrating Families of Diversity” comes to Utah for one day.

7pm, Off Broadway Theater, 272 S. Main St., Tickets $20, tinyurl.com/ jasondemarco

A&E | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | 37

february, 2013 | issue 215 | gaysaltlake.com

28thursday

JOEY ARIAS

performances at seminal New York nightclubs Jackie 60 and Squeezebox to the now-legendary nights at Bar d’O where he held court with Raven-O and Sherry Vine, Arias has distinguished himself with scandalous wit, sleek style and an extraordinary voice ... evocative of Billie Holiday yet uniquely his own.

“Strange Fruit,” Arias’s tribute to Lady Day ran for a year at the Astor Place Theater in New York and received a glowing notice from John Lahr in the New Yorker.

Arias originated the role of the Mistress of Seduction in Cirque du Soleil’s Las Vegas spectacular Zumanity, for which he co-wrote two songs and

performed for six years. He returned to New York with a splash as the star of Arias With a Twist, a show he co-created with master puppeteer Basil Twist.

The show has traveled to LA, DC and Paris.

Kristian Hoffman is a singer, songwriter, producer and musical collaborator. He formed his first band, Mumps, with high school friend Lance Loud shortly after they both made dramatic appearances in PBS’ award winning “An American Family.”

Presented by Now & Again eclectic consignment emporium.

8pm, Urban Lounge, 241 S 500 East.

Tickets $10 advance, ­tinyurl.com/ariasslc $15 at the door; $20 VIP seated cabaret, tinyurl.com/ariasvip

Will Rogers Follies

save the date Email arts@qsaltlake.com

FEBRUARY 1–MARCH 24

Pride Softball League Registration prideleague.com MARCH 9

Joan RIvers kingtix.com MARCH 30

Last Big Gay Fun Bus of the Season biggayfunbus.com may 31–june 2

Utah Pride Festival utahpridefestival.org

PETER STONE (BOOK), CY COLEMAN (MUSIC) BETTY COMDEN & ADOLPH GREEN (LYRICS)

DIRECTED BY JIM CHRISTIAN

FEB 7-9 & 18-23 • 7:30 PM ASL Interpretation Feb 23 • 2:00 PM Matinee Feb 9 & 23

Allred Theater • Val A. Browning Center for the Performing Arts J

THE

BY PETER STONE (BOOK), BETTY COMDEN & ADOLPH GREEN (LYRICS), CY COLEMAN (MUSIC)

DIRECTED BY JIM CHRISTIAN

FEB 7-9, 19-23 • 7:30 PM ALLRED THEATER

Val A. Browning Center for the Performing Arts

ASL Interpretation Feb 9 • 2:00 pm Matinee on Feb 9 & 23 $12/$9 • 801-626-7000 or WeberStateTickets.com

recommended for adults

eber State University Department of Performing Arts

poster art by Jason Francis (2013)

J

Two veterans of the fertile East Village Art Scene of the 1980’s, Joey Arias and Kristian Hoffman, share the stage for the first time since they both appeared at seminal New York venues like Club 57, Mudd Club and CBGBs. Borrowed from the title of a Klaus Nomi song, “Lightning Strikes” marks the first collaboration between Arias and Hoffman — both of whom were close friends and collaborators of the late German counter-tenor.

Nomi and Arias famously backed up David Bowie on Saturday Night Live in 1979 and the two were close friends up until the time of Nomi’s death. Hoffman wrote some of Nomi’s signature songs (“Nomi Song,” “Total Eclipse, “Simple Man”) and did the arrangements for others.

Joey Arias is a bona fide NYC icon, most recently headlining Central Park SummerStage and playing Royal Albert Hall in London as part of the Antonycurated Meltodwn Festival. He also stars in Z Chromosome, a short film directed by Manfred Mugler, which opened the 18th Annual Chéries-Chéris Festival last October in Paris.

Arias lived and worked with legendary musician Klaus Nomi until Nomi’s death in 1983.

However, he long ago stepped out of Nomi’s shadow to gain fame in his own right as a performance artist, cabaret singer and drag artist. From outrageous

WSU Department of Performing Arts • weber.edu/performingarts/ • tickets: $12/$9 • 801-626-7000 or weberstatetickets.com

38 | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

gaysaltlake.com | issue 215 | february, 2013

Jason & Demarco family diversity tour Gay

Christian singing duo Jason and deMarco, who were recently featured on the cover of the Advocate, will be performing in Salt Lake City at the Off Broadway Theatre on Feb. 24. The couple recently welcomed two twin boys into their lives and now they’re launching their Celebrating Families and Diversity tour.

We caught up with the duo to find out what they’ve been up to lately and what fans can expect at their upcoming show. For tickets, go to jasonanddemarco.com.

How did you make the decision to expand your family and how has that affected your career? deMarco: After being together for about five years, Jason and I talked about what was next. We had dedicated our lives to our music careers and felt it was now time to do something really meaningful for ourselves and our future, not our careers. We had talked about the possibility of having kids but never knew how it would fit in to our touring. After specific key experiences and chance encounters with other people, we began the process of our greatest endeavor together; the most ordinary and extraordinary thing we’ve ever done; bring two biological babies into this world. I say “ordinary” because everyone does it, and I say “extraordinary” because it is such a “big” thing to do, not to mention, for two men that cannot make a baby together in the conventional way, but not for lack of trying.

Jason: We knew this decision would affect our career and really didn’t plan on traveling. I had ventured in to running our non-profit working with GLBTQ foster youth and deMarco had begun a health and wellness business. However, people kept calling wanting to book, so we committed to going out one weekend per month. My parents relocated to Houston shortly after the boys were born and they agreed to watch the boys at our home when we traveled.

Doing this for the first year didn’t seem to bother the boys, but it was around oneyear-old that we noticed our leaving was disrupting their routine, that they were really not handling our leaving well, and quite honestly, neither were we! That was part of the creation behind this tour; figuring out a way to still do what we love to do and bring the family with us. The boys and my folks will join us and we’ll be living and touring on our RV Tour Bus for 35 days. It will be an experience.

What can QSaltLake readers expect at your upcoming show? Jason: Our show in Salt Lake will be at the Off Broadway Theater which seats around 200 people. We will be doing all of our original mainstream material, which is pop/folk in style. Although we do have a large Contemporary Christian fan base, we have recorded several mainstream CDs and have actually had more success in our mainstream career. The only venues

february, 2013 | issue 215 | gaysaltlake.com

we will be singing our Contemporary Christian material will be churches along our tour.

All ticketed events will be our mainstream material. deMarco: We’ve had hit-singles on the Billboard charts, played in Abercrombie stores worldwide, a documentary-film on Showtime and Logo, and won music video of the year on Logo in 2006. We have a large mainstream following and hope they will all come out to support the event. The evening will be a mixture of great music, stories, fun and hopefully a few special guests sharing their stories as well.

Have you been to Utah before? What do you remember about it? deMarco: Yes. We have performed several times.

We came a few years ago, believe it or not, to perform and speak at a gay Mormon event. It was for a group of Mormon’s who had reconciled their sexuality with their faith.

We did a concert and met some great people. We also toured the Utah Pride Center and they provided a wealth of information to us while getting our own non-profit, S.A.F.E., up and running.

Jason: When deciding where to go on the tour, Salt Lake, quite honestly, was somewhat out of the way. However, we really felt we were supposed to make this event happen and offer it to the Salt Lake community. It could be a powerful way for the community to see how many non-traditional families live in the area and hopefully families will connect with one another.

This doesn’t have to be families with kids. A family can consist of many variations, and that is the entire point of the tour; to celebrate these different families and come together for a great evening of music.

What are the biggest challenges you face in the Christian music industry? Jason: I guess I don’t feel we face any

challenges because we aren’t part of the Christian music industry. They’ve never let us in and that in and of itself is the biggest challenge. There’s no room for an openly gay couple in the Christian music industry, so we’ve had to pave our own way and make our own industry. When it comes down to it, I think we have always considered ourselves inspirational singers more than Christian singers. The word ‘Christian’ has a lot of baggage, unfortunately.

Have you seen any change in the environment for LGBT Christians? How do you think it will be in 10 or 20 years? deMarco: Again, it’s hard to single out LGBT Christians. I think the LGBT community at large has seen huge changes in the past 10 years of our touring together. We now have a President who supports gay marriage. Several states have approved gay marriage. Several states allow gay couples to adopt and foster. I think our society is realizing that someone’s personal spiritual beliefs cannot dictate social justice.

“Libery and justice for all.”

Freedom is freedom, period. All means all, period.

Jason: I think many in the ‘church’ are waking up and realizing that they have no right to tell others what they should and shouldn’t be able to do, legally, based on what they believe rather than a constitutional right. I think we’re seeing more and more people, Christian or not, be more open-minded and less judgmental. Hopefully over the next 10 to 20 years people will look back at the issues that the LGBT community face the same way we look back at African Americans having to drink from a separate water fountain.

In one generation we went from that to having an AfricanAmerican President. We know people can change — we’ve seen it happen. Q

A&E | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | 39

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May 31st - June 2nd Washington Square www.UtahPrideFestival.org

40 | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

interview

gaysaltlake.com | issue 215 | february, 2013

Let’s Get Franco

Breakout star Dave Franco talks new coming-of-age film, his sex appeal and getting gay with brother James

By Chris Azzopardi chris@qsaltlake.com

James Franco

isn’t the only one fearlessly exploring homosexuality in his career. His own brother, Dave, is too. With himself, even.

The 27-year-old has attracted a big gay fan base ever since he starred in the 2007 indie After Sex, the one where Mila Kunis was a lesbian, and put Channing Tatum in his place after a homophobic mix-up in last year’s 21 Jump Street. But it’s Dave’s viral Funny or Die videos, where he’s had sex with himself and also told actor Chris “McLovin” Mintz-Plasse “I wanna strip you down” (and other homoerotic things), that have really made the gays smitten.

Now the heartthrob is fighting zombies in the film adaptation of the best-selling book Warm Bodies, also starring Nicholas Hoult of A Single Man. In his first gay press interview, we picked Dave’s brain on the outsider theme of his new flick, whether he plans to work on a gay project with James and how his sexually explicit videos are in no way baiting the boys who love them.

Under what conditions could you fall in love with a zombie? I don’t think the physical appearance is getting in the way for me. (Laughs) As long as they were a good person in the past life, and there’s just some kind of sweetness behind those eyes, I’m in. I don’t need much else.

Do you think there’s some subtext in the movie’s theme about love being boundless and knowing no sex or race — even life or death – that you think your gay fans might appreciate or relate to? Definitely. If you take the zombie element out of the movie, it is still this coming-of-age movie about this outsider who is trying to find himself and eventually does through love. It does speak to the fact that it doesn’t matter what your race or your sexual orientation is. Sometimes you can’t explain a connection that works.

When were you first aware you had a gay following? My friend I grew up with started calling me out and saying, “Dude, I can’t even imagine what people who don’t know you think of you.” It’s not like I’m doing these videos because I’m trying to shock or confuse people. I’m generally drawn toward material that’s just different and unique and is gonna maybe surprise people a bit. So I was first aware that there was maybe some awareness of me from the gay community when all my friends were telling me there’s all this stuff online and if you Google my name, the first thing that comes up is “Dave

A&E | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | 41

february, 2013 | issue 215 | gaysaltlake.com

Franco Gay.” (Laughs) So right around the time you fucked yourself? (Laughs) That didn’t help things.

Whether you’re having sex with yourself in “Go Fuck Yourself” or talking dirty to Chris in “You’re So Hot,” are these videos your way of showing your acknowledgement and support for the gay community? Yeah, sure — definitely! I have gay friends and of course I’m comfortable enough with my sexuality that I’m open to doing videos like that. I know a huge audience is going to think that I am gay. I’m just trying to blur the lines, I guess. I’m not consciously trying to do that, but it’s not something I think about. Like with my friends who are gay, it’s not like that’s the first thing I associate with them. They’re just another friend, and they just happen to like guys.

Why are all the videos so gay? There are a lot of very overtly gay things in these videos, but for some reason while I was making them, or while I was even initially thinking of the ideas, I swear to god I didn’t think, “OK, we’re gonna make another gay video that’s gonna shock people.”

The way “You’re So Hot” came about: I worked with Chris on a movie called Fright Night and in between takes we would play this game. It was a game that he and his buddies played growing up and it just made me laugh my ass off, so when the movie was done and we were back in L.A. I thought to myself, “This would make a really funny short.”

Being comfortable with your sexuality seems to be something that runs in the Franco family. Obviously your brother also has no qualms with his sexuality. But whereas you explore it with humor, James has more of a political and sexual agenda.

Do you see any overlap in the way you two explore homosexuality? That’s a good question. The main overlap is just how hard we dive into it. There’s nothing subtle, I guess, about how we embrace gay culture – and there basically are no boundaries. We both push the envelope.

I don’t know why a lot of what we create deals with that subject matter. I get asked that all the time, and I’m not consciously thinking to myself, “I’m gonna make these sexually explicit gay videos.” It just comes through us for some reason.

You obviously have lots of appeal in the gay community. To know that, you don’t have to look further than Perez Hilton’s recent post, which includes a couple

of pics of you and “Dear Dave Franco, FUCK ME!!!” as the headline.

Uh-oh. Come on.

How do you react to the gay community’s excitement over you and your videos? I gotta embrace it, right? I love it. At this point, I’m so happy that anyone is even aware of me or is a fan of me. It’s still something that I don’t think I’ll ever get used to. From just what I’ve heard and what I’ve observed, the gay community, when they revolve toward someone or something or a movie, they come full force and they tell everyone about it. Tell me if I’m wrong.

No, word spreads fast in the gay community if a Franco brother is naked. Exactly.

So I totally embrace it.

With your upcoming role in Now You See Me alongside some heavy hitters, your career is really taking off. Are you ready for a lead role? Any idea what you might want that to be? I’m definitely ready for a lead role. My criteria for picking a project these days is just wanting to work with filmmakers I admire. I do want to make my own films one day. I’ve been writing and producing and editing all these Funny or Die videos, and it’s kind of been practice on a much smaller scale. I want to work with guys like Jonathan Levine, who directed Warm Bodies and who I’ve admired for years. I just wanna be on set with these guys and see the process and see how they work with actors regardless of how big or small my role. So, honestly, I would be an extra in all of Paul Thomas Anderson’s movies. I just wanna be around these guys.

The Funny or Die videos really helped launch your career, as did the “Acting with James Franco” skits. Other than Broken Tower, do you have plans to work on any projects with James that might have a gay sensibility? I love my brother and I respect him so much, but in general, I have been trying to distance myself from him just in terms of work, because I need to kind of carve my own path at this point. I don’t want to be referred to as “James Franco’s little brother” for the rest of my life. So it’s hard sometimes, because he is creating so many of his own projects and he asks me to be a part of them and I would love to – but at this point, I just need to distance myself from him work-wise.

Down the line, who knows, man. We do work very well together and our sensibilities are very similar, obviously. We might push the envelope almost too far if we

combine our heads. I’m open to the idea. If I establish myself a little bit more, and people start giving me my own due, I would love to work with him down the line.

You say “almost too far.” You mean make it too gay? I think that’s already been done by both of you. Who knows how weird it could get if the two of us get together.

You mention his projects, and currently James is making headlines for his interest in gay art films, including the gay sex indie Interior. Leather Bar. Have you seen it? Do you plan to? The only one I’ve seen is Broken Tower, just because I was a part of that production. I’ve obviously heard stories or read about these projects, but I really have no basis to say anything at this point.

Do you get annoyed when journalists bring your brother up? No! I totally understand it. It could be a lot worse. At least he’s a very well-respected guy, and I do love him. We get along very well. But with that being said, it is a little comforting, and I feel slightly relieved, that at least the James questions have been dialed down a little bit.

What’s coming up for you besides Now You See Me and Warm Bodies? There are a few things that are in the air that I can’t quite talk about just yet, but I am always pumping out these Funny or Die videos. I do all of them with one of my good friends who I’ve known since childhood, and we have one coming out in a couple weeks.

This one is actually the cleanest one we’ve done. The rest are rated X, but this one’s like a hard PG-13.

Without giving too much away, it’s with an NBA star who’s 7-feet-tall and then, of course, myself. I’m not the biggest guy in the world, so it’s this odd couple — the two of us competing in a series of events. It’s still in the same vein and tone as the rest of the videos, but because he’s a professional athlete, he can’t push the envelope as much as I’d generally like to.

I’m always writing something. I’m working on a feature-length film right now.

Two years ago I made a decision to only audition and meet on projects that I’m actually passionate about. I knew it might be the stupidest decision I ever made because I might never work again, but in the meantime, that’s how these Funny or Die videos came out. Q Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. Reach him via his website at www.chris-azzopardi.com.

42 | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

Sundance film explores sexual and creative freedom In order

to avoid an X-rating, directors for the 1980 movie, Cruising, cut more than 40 minutes of homo-erotic imagery from the final film. With this film urban legend in mind, filmmakers Travis Matthews and James Franco launched a project re-imagining the lost footage while starting a broader discussion about sex, boundaries and freedom. Interior. Leather Bar. is an official Sundance Film Festival entry which premiered on Saturday, Jan. 19.

Franco is no stranger to gay characters and is well known for his work in Milk, Howl and The Broken Tower. However, Franco wanted to push the envelope and delve deeper into queer cinema with a new project, said co-director Matthews. The project was done with a micro-budget and included only a few weeks for preproduction and less than two days for shooting, Matthews said.

“Basically, I had just finished my first

gaysaltlake.com | issue 215 | february, 2013

film feature, I Want Your Love, and it was doing some festival rounds around the same time that (Franco) wanted to make a queer film,” Matthews said. “We got together and talked about what to do within our parameters. We had a micro-budget, a few weeks to come up with a game plan and everything was put together really quickly.”

Matthews and Franco were drawn to the history of the Cruising and the story that director William Friedkin had to go to the Motion Picture Association of America four times before he could land an R-rating for his film.

“The first time I saw Cruising, I thought it was problematic in what it says about gay people. But if you take just the bar scenes and watch them on their own, it’s an interesting snapshot of late-70s gay New York culture,” Matthews said.

Interior. Leather Bar. Is not a sequel or remake of the movie and it has several layers about production. Despite the minimal amount of scripting, the layers of filming and the short production time, it came together quickly and smoothly, Matthews said.

“We didn’t have time to second-guess ourselves. And (Franco) was open to sug-

gestions, as long as there was a purpose behind what you wanted to do,” Matthews said.

The quasi-documentary style filming opens a chance for Franco to address his motivations and past in queer cinema, Matthew said. And while he is a focal point of the film, he does not dominate the scenes and opens the floor for Val Lauren, who is reimagining the character first played by Al Pacino in Cruising.

Matthews is a veteran of queer cinema and several of his past projects have pushed the boundaries in erotic arts. His film, I Want Your Love, featured an explicit sexual encounter between friends.

“I think something is happening in queer cinema. Filmmakers are interested in taking chances again and being provocative,” Matthews said. “I think the film is part of the progression. But I’m not sure that stylistically it represents the change. I think it stands apart in that way.”

Interior. Leather Bar. premiered at Sundance and Matthews said he and Franco were excited to come to the showings and meet audience members.

“I didn’t realize until editing that the film is also funny. I hope everyone can have a good time with it,” Matthews said. Q For tickets and show times, go to sundance.org.

A&E | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | 43

february, 2013 | issue 215 | gaysaltlake.com

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44 | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

gaysaltlake.com | issue 215 | february, 2013

interview

Not Just for Fun

Guitarist Jack Antonoff on LGBT activism, the band’s Ally Coalition and being straight with ‘lesbian chemicals’

By Chris Azzopardi chris@qsaltlake.com

If Nate

Ruess, Jack Antonoff and Andrew Dost have taught us anything, it’s this: You can be fun. and still stand up for something serious.

The breakout single that sent the New York-based band’s sophomore album, Some Nights, soaring, “We Are Young” entered the pop-culture zeitgeist almost overnight with commercial spots and a Glee rendition. Their ubiquitous earworms gave them a platform, and they stood on it and told the world — time and time again, during sold-out shows and in online essays — how they support equal rights.

In this interview with Jack Antonoff, the 28-year-old guitarist talks about being drawn to the gay community’s “inspiring” ways of uniting in the face of oppression, the stigma of being a straight man who doesn’t care about the fight and how he loves Lena Dunham like a lesbian.

You’re one of the gay community’s biggest supporters, and you’ve been very outspoken about it. When and why did gay issues become so important to you?

I wish there was a great story or a poetic answer, but I just don’t know how anyone could not be outspoken and enraged with any violation of human rights. If the government decided tomorrow to strip Jews or African Americans of certain rights, no one would say, “How did you get involved with Jews’ human rights, blah blah blah?” It would just be this universal violation that we would all be up in arms about. But the issue of gay, bisexual and trans rights, the discrimination is so ingrained in us that it’s this slow-moving process of people realizing how shameful it is, the way we treat our citizens. Anyone who is even remotely cognizant is speaking up and fighting for equal rights.

It’s hard for some people to understand that you don’t have to be gay to care about gay people. Is that the case for you and the band? One-hundred percent. That’s the big thing: We’re less concerned with the Westboro Baptist Church than we are with just the average American who has a good heart and is pretty smart but isn’t completely educated on the issues, and if this person knew

Matthew Greene

everything would stand up and fight.

I think most Americans have no issue with homosexuality or gay people. They just think, “Oh, they have civil unions; we have marriage — what’s the difference? Who cares.”

They don’t realize that 1,000-plus rights are denied. They don’t think of adoption rights or work comp rights. Connecting all the dots is a huge thing and the difference between people being like, “Yeah, I think gay people should be equal” versus really making a big deal out of it and really thinking about it when they vote. The reason for the band speaking out is, if you have any sort of stage or soapbox in 2013 in America — and really anywhere in the world — you should be using that to discuss human rights and all people being treated equal.

So as a celebrity you have a responsibility to speak up? Absolutely. It’s a really weird life. Public figures deserve privacy.

They don’t deserve to be thrown into the fire just because they have an audience. I mean, we’re out here because we’re artists, we’re songwriters. What I do is what I am and I would understand if someone only wanted to put out what they’re there to put out. But it’s just one of those complicated generations. Ten or 15 years ago it was a little different because at that point we were only X amount of years away from a learning curve of not really understanding what was going on. But now, in 2013, we have all the information and we’ve seen the effects of homophobia and we’ve seen the effects of denying citizens’ rights. It’s just a time where I don’t think any of us have the luxury to not stand up.

As a straight ally in the fight for gay rights, what effect do you think you have on the gay rights movement that you wouldn’t if you were gay? It’s all about the power we each have based on who we are and where we come from. Obviously, LGBTQ people have the power that comes with being oppressed. Those who are denied rights have the most inspiring voice in fighting for them. But beyond that, there is a distinct power that comes with being a person who is not denied rights but still cares and will fight for them as if they were their own

rights. Furthermore, being someone who others presume wouldn’t care, or even opposes gay rights, gives you an even greater power in speaking up for gay rights.

There is stigma that comes along with being straight — like we don’t care. Being straight and standing up for gay rights is a statement that says “this is everyone’s issue.”

We are not all free unless we are _all_ free.

Just because I was born into the elite class of straight Americans who have maximum rights does not mean that I won’t fight as if it were me being denied human rights.

If fun. were a band 30 years ago and had come out in favor of gay rights, you probably would have jeopardized your career.

What does it say about this time in our lives that you’re able to stand up and still maintain a significant fan base?

We get asked, “If you guys are gonna be political, do you worry you’ll be offending people who are coming to your shows?” And the answer for us is, “Well, if anyone has a problem with us, then they’re homophobic and hateful and we’re glad to not have them come to our shows.” (Laughs) It’s an amazing time, and I think with the way the Internet works, it’s easy to think that there’s a lot more hate than there is.

Obviously we only hear the most disgusting stories and, as they should, the horror stories inspire change. But what we’ve learned from touring and being outspoken in the press about this is that there is great support — and even where there isn’t great support, there is a hunger for knowledge.

We set up booths at our shows and it’s not like people are coming up slamming their fists down and being like, “Stop redefining the family.” We never get that. We get people coming up and saying, “I don’t really know why this issue matters.”

Will you bring the booth on the current tour? And how about The Ally Coalition that the band and your sister, Rachel, recently formed — is that coming with you, as well? The Ally Coalition, or TAC as we call it, will be with us for the foreseeable future. We’ve always done a lot with the issue and then we realized that if we had a big umbrella to funnel all this under, we

A&E | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | 45

february, 2013 | issue 215 | gaysaltlake.com

could do so much more. So we started The Ally Coalition, which is a nonprofit. And it’s kind of boundless.

On this tour, we’re really going to be getting into homeless gay youth in different cities. We’ll be working with different shelters. What’s really cool about TAC is it has given us the opportunity to participate in all the different aspects of what comes along with human rights, and there are a lot of sub issues. We’re just trying to focus on different areas on different tours. A dollar from every ticket goes to The Ally Coalition and then that money gets funneled out to the coalition and what we do, and then a decent portion we donate to different gay groups.

You’re on the road through the rest of the year. How does fun. have fun on the road? We’re really square.

Our definition of fun at this point is just taking care of ourselves. We all get great joy out of not eating disgusting food, getting a lot of sleep and going to the movies.

But our schedules have been so completely insane, so the great enjoy-

ment aside from playing — which is the greatest joy of all — is just trying to be like a normal person out there and not like you’re on Mars.

There are a lot of queer people who look at “We Are Young” as an anthem of liberation and individuality. How does it feel knowing you’ve written the theme song for a new generation of not just youth but queer youth? That’s just the coolest thing I’ve ever heard, because it’s always subcultures — it’s always people who are oppressed — that are the most vibrant. That’s part of the reason why I feel so drawn to the gay community in general — the very fact that there’s an opposition in general that creates an amazing community within the gay community. You can’t really find that anywhere else.

It’s inspiring.

Continued on page 46

PHOTO: Fueled by Ramen

46 | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

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gaysaltlake.com | issue 215 | february, 2013

Were any of the songs on Some Nights written with the gay community in mind? Not initially and not directly, besides “One Foot,” which talks about being in the closet and the church and the offensive things that come out of there. But these are songs about feeling separate and about feeling pushed aside and feeling down on yourself and pushing on.

That’s the theme of the album.

That’s the idea of all of it: carrying on and moving on. “Carry On” speaks to the same issues that gay people go through, which is a lot of the same issues that a lot of people go through.

It’s just on a different scale. It’s about having other people treat you like you’re less than and finding a way to move on.

I don’t have to tell you this, but this next album will be a crucial one for you. You have six Grammy nominations to live up to. What’s your game plan for the third album? (Laughs) We haven’t really begun yet, because we have this theory. We’ve all been at this for, like, 12 years [in different bands] and there’s always this crazy hunger to work on new material. When you work on new material while you’re out promoting your current album, it becomes like this inside joke — we’re out there playing and imagining a new song that [we’re] not sharing with our audience.

So we made a conscious effort to stay in _Some Nights_ mode because if we thought too much about the future or worked too much on new songs, it would be like making out with the person you’re with and imagining someone else. We’d be cheating on our audience. That might sound pathetic, but the point is, we’re playing our biggest shows ever, people are really excited over this album and we’re gonna deliver best if we stay here. We always work really well in the moment, and the next album will be no exception.

Because I’m a gay man, I can’t end this interview without

asking you if your relationship with Lena Dunham is anything like an episode of her show, Girls. (Laughs) No — there’s nothing awkward or clunky about our relationship. I think what probably happens when you put two awkward/clunky people together is that their awkward/clunky world seems like a normal world. And I think that’s something that’s nice about our relationship.

I could picture you two dancing to Robyn in her bedroom, though. I’ve been dancing to Robyn since Body Talk came out.

Anyone who has ears should be dancing to Robyn. (Laughs) Both of you are gay magnets, and for different reasons.

You’ve been said to have a lot of lesbian friends, actually. I do.

If you were to compete in a gay-off with Lena, who would win? It would be a really epic tie. We both have so many wonderful gay people in our lives. People identify with other people for different reasons, and I personally am really comfortable around lesbians because, in some ways, we view women the same way. I’ve never really identified with the way a typical alpha-male views women.

It’s always an awkward forum for me to hang out with another guy and talk about girls, because I can’t really find a way to fit in.

I’ve never really had those big macho alpha qualities.

So a lot of my lesbian friends have this way that they talk about women, and in the way they connect with them I just feel a little bit more comfortable. Which kind of makes me think that maybe I’m a straight man with, like, lesbian chemicals. I think you can be a man who loves a woman but love someone the way a gay man loves another man or a woman loves a woman. Q Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. Reach him via his website at www. chris-azzopardi.com.

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����������������������������������������� Best Gift Store ����������������������������������������� Best Adult Toy Store �����������������������������������������

Best Bartender

Best Local DJ

Best Social Group ����������������������������������������� Best Political Group ����������������������������������������� Best Health/Resources Group ����������������������������������������� Best Religious Organization ����������������������������������������� Best Sports Organization

Most Fabulous Services Best Gym ����������������������������������������� Best Ski Resort ����������������������������������������� Best Hair Salon ����������������������������������������� Best to get Waxed ����������������������������������������� Best Tattoo/Piercing Parlor ����������������������������������������� Best Counseling Service

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Q Fabulous Best QSaltLake Columnist ����������������������������������������� Best QSaltLake Story of the Year ����������������������������������������� Best QSaltLake Event of 2012 ����������������������������������������� Best Improvement QSaltLake Could Make

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Best Radio Station ����������������������������������������� Best Local Radio Personality ����������������������������������������� Best Television News ����������������������������������������� Best TV News Reporter

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48 | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | FOOD&DRINK

Without Ice, Part 2

food& drink

gaysaltlake.com | issue 215 | february, 2013

by Ed Sikov

When last

we left our fearful columnist, he was attempting to transliterate his wretched Harry Beaton imitation into print. Harry, of course, is the character from the musical Brigadoon who threatens to leave the quaint, out-of-time village in Scotland and therefore bring ruin to all who inhabit it. The subject, perhaps needless to say, was Scotch — the whiskey, not the people of Scotland — and its ability to be enjoyed without that critical electricity-dependent product known as ice. The scars left by Hurricane Sandy include billions of dollars in reconstruction costs and this writer’s inability to get beyond cocktails best served neat. I was traumatized, dammit! Cut me some slack!

Scotch served my husband, Dan, and me well for the second and third nights of Sandy-induced powerlessness. But by Evening Four, we’d both grown a little tired of even my favorite single malt, Talisker. I’d been careful to stock the bar in the days before Sandy swept in, and in retrospect, I think I’d been steered to the Scotch department unconsciously by the name “Sandy”: Now all of ye come to Sandy here Come over to Sandy’s booth!

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(Guess that musical! I’m sorry. I can’t help it.) So we turned westward to the Emerald Isle.

No, I don’t mean the National Rental Car desk at our nearest airport. I mean Ireland, people! Leprechauns!

The Stone of Scone! Joyce, Yeats, and Peter O’Toole! (As the great John Waters once observed: Peter O’Toole?

That’s as bad as Muffy O’Clit.)

Moving right along — Dan grunted unpleasantly when I suggested another Talisker at cocktail hour on the fourth evening of our forced confinement.

We were down to eating unheated canned soup and tuna salad without the celery or mayonnaise. (OK, call it what it was: tuna straight from the can.) Our meal was grim, but cocktail hour was saved by the bottle of Jameson just waiting for an occasion to be opened.

How I love the Irish!

Scotch, Canadian and Irish whiskey are all distilled from fermented grain mash; grains include barley, rye, wheat and corn, some of which are malted. (Malting involves halting the germination process by drying the grain with hot air.) Each nation’s whiskey has its own particular taste, though, not only because the grain tastes different depending on the soil and climate of the country, but also because of

differences in each liquor’s aging as well as the type of grain itself. Typically (though not necessarily), Scottish whiskey crafters use peat smoke to dry the malt; characteristically — though again not necessarily — Canadian whiskey is brewed from corn. Irish whiskey, of which Jameson is the exemplar, is generally distilled from unpeated malt and has a faintly sweet aroma and taste. It’s not as sweet as bourbon, but it’s distinctly sweeter than Scotch.

Jameson, like any good whiskey, can be enjoyed on the rocks or neat. Dan and I had ours neat by necessity, there being no ice. There being no running water either, I might add, the two of us had begun to — how shall I put it? — stink.

Given alcohol’s marvelous ability to kill germs, perhaps we should have swabbed ourselves with Jameson, but that would have been reckless. So we each gave ourselves a “French whore’s bath,” meaning a quick wipe-down with a washcloth dipped in the bathtub we’d filled with water as a precaution before the storm hit. Later, we got into a little — um, well — rank piggy action under the influence of the whiskey. My, my, my!

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FOOD&DRINK | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | 49

february, 2013 | issue 215 | gaysaltlake.com

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50 | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | Health

gaysaltlake.com | issue 215 | february, 2013

health

Vaccines can save lives

by Lynn Beltran

Every year

alarm. I am saying, please let us not forget that it is flu season and we still need to be vigilant. I know we just came out of a very heated political season, then the holidays and now we are focused on 2013 goals; but it is flu season and the flu is here.

My first question: have you gotten your flu vaccine yet? If not, go get one!

The CDC is reporting that many of the flu strains that are circulating this season are covered by the vaccine that is currently being offered. Every season, various international health organizations look at what strains of influenza have been circulating and the genetic information from those strains of virus go into the next year’s vaccine and what is circulating is consistent with what was included in this year’s vaccine.

What makes flu season such a hot topic every year is simply the number of people that it affects and the cost and possible number of deaths. The CDC estimates that approximately 200,000 people are hospitalized due to the flu each year, which is very Each Sudoku puzzle has a unique solution which can be reached costly. Allogically without guessing. Enter digits 1 through 9 into the though many Each Sudoku puzzle has a unique solution which can be reached logicalblank guessing. spaces. Every must contain9 one digit, as must ly without Enterrow digits 1 through into of theeach blank spaces.

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as we approach flu season, we hear about the next possible impending flu epidemic. Will it be Swine Flu? Will it be Bird Flu? How many will survive?

A few years ago, a new influenza strain emerged that originated in pigs and caused a higher than average number of complications and deaths. It was a scary flu-time because we did not know how it would play out and we knew that, as a new strain, few people would have any immunity to it. Here we are three years later, and now there is little talk of flu.

As a result people are not hearing that this is already appearing to be an early flu season. As of last week, 29 states were reporting widespread influenza activity, influenza-related hospitalizations are elevated and up to 18 pediatric deaths due to influenza have been reported to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. All of this occurring ahead of the usual curve.

I am not saying we need to sound the

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that the flu can lead to anywhere from 3,000 to 49,000 deaths annually in the U.S., although in the past decade the average has been about 36,000 deaths each year.

Here is what I find most interesting — there is so much controversy about getting the flu vaccine. Many people feel that the flu vaccine causes the flu. Let me clear this up, it does not cause the flu. What it may cause is a day or two of soreness or fever, but trust me, that is nothing compared to the flu. The reason for this is simply that as with any vaccine, the flu vaccine initiates an immune response from your body. The flu vaccine is designed to protect you if you are exposed to it by either preventing it all together or by lessening the length and severity of illness if you do become infected. This means that it could save your life.

Getting as many people vaccinated is a public health intervention that has proven highly effective with a number of infectious diseases throughout history, including such things as measles, mumps and rubella. This is called herd immunity and is based on the premise that if a significant portion of the population has immunity to an infection, the risk is lower that a susceptible person will come in contact with an infectious person. Essentially, this is a mathematical equation, but it works.

I could tell you all kinds of things to try to get you to get vaccinated. I might ask if you can you afford a hospitalization due to pneumonia. I might ask if you have any small children or babies in your life and do you know how serious it can be if they get the flu. I might ask if you know how serious it can be if you spread the flu to an elderly family member, and remember, you are most infectious before you develop symptoms.

But what I want to ask is why so many people line up for vaccinations for Hepatitis B, for the vaccine to protect against bacterial meningitis, for the vaccine to protect against genital warts — and I cannot tell you how often people ask if we have a vaccine for herpes — and yet we get indignant about the flu vaccine.

It is not too late to get protection for this season. Ask your medical provider for the flu vaccine or you can call the Salt Lake Valley Health Department at 385-4684225. Q

NIGHTLIFE | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | 51

february, 2013 | issue 215 | gaysaltlake.com

nightlife

DJ Chris B heats up Utah dance floors Local disc

jockey Chris Barnes is a staple in Utah’s gay music scene. He’s a local Billboard DJ and is featured in nearly every major gay nightlife event in the city. We spoke with the sexy and talented DJ Chris B to learn about his start in music, inspirations and what he finds sexy in a man.

How did you get started as a DJ? Since I was a young teenager I recognized I had passion for electronic dance music. I have danced countless hours in clubs, seen many DJs, and been to several events. I always knew I would become a DJ someday. After fulfilling some other goals in life I pursued my dream. I teamed up with one of my favorite local DJs, learned the technical side, acquired my own equipment and I began my journey. After making several mix sets and promos I got my first shot to DJ at a nightclub here in Salt Lake City at Club Edge (now Club Metro) mid-2010.

Since then, it has been the ride of a lifetime and something I wouldn’t trade for anything!

Who are your musical inspirations? Other DJs, of course. My favorite is Tiesto. He is like the Madonna of electronic dance music, in my opinion. I respect and admire David Guetta as he has taken an underground scene and turned it mainstream. I also respect any other DJ who can play to a crowd and create the right energy for that given night. It’s not always an easy task.

How would you describe your style and music? The reason why I gravitated towards dance music when I was young was because it made me happy and put me in a good mood.

The music I play makes me happy. I would describe my sound as high-energy, upbeat, progressive electro-house fused with some circuit house.

You’ve taken some time from the scene for some personal health issues. How are you doing and when can we expect to see you at the clubs again? Late in August 2012, I became ill and was diagnosed with lymphoma cancer. The past four months I went through intense chemotherapy. I am happy to say that I have responded very well to the treatment and am getting stronger every day. I hope to DJ again in February. I can’t explain in words what it will mean to me to be able to DJ again, I can’t wait!

What is your guilty pleasure music?

It’s so far from dance music, but Broadway musical scores. I love to listen to and sing to the music from Les Miserable or Phantom of The Opera, as well as a few others. Of course I do it when I know one is around because I do not have the best voice.

What do you find sexy in a man? I like a nice butt, a cute smile and a funny personality goes a long way.

Who is your celebrity crush? That’s a hard one, no pun intended. Can I pick a few? Mark Wahlberg for his body and accent, Chris Pine for his face and Jake Gyllenhaal for his, well… everything.

DJ Chris B’s Vitality Playlist Roger Sanchez, Another Chance Kerli, The Lucky Ones Will. I. AM. ft Britney Spears, Scream – Shout Carley Rae Jepsen, This Kiss Adam Lambert, Trespassing K Kelly Clarkson, Catch My Breath Icona Pop ft Charli XCX, I Love It Zooom, Party In Here D.H.P. ft Sunday Girl, Not Alone Gotye, Somebody That “Felix” Used 2 Know (Mashup) Adele, Skyfall C-Rod ft Jason Walker, Beat Don’t Stop David Guetta ft Kelly Rowland, When Love Takes Over 2012

52 | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | NIGHTLIFE

gaysaltlake.com | issue 215 | february, 2013

nightlife

Hunter Valentine busts lesbian-rock stereotypes Breaking

stereotypes, pushing the envelope and playing rock music while simultaneously appearing on the Real L Word Showtime series, Hunter Valentine is one of the most visible lesbian rock bands on the scene. The group plays hard rock reminiscent of times past and often invokes images of Neil Young, Janis Joplin and the Rolling Stones.

After joining the cast of The Real L Word, Kiyomi McCloskey, was quickly labeled the antagonist of the group. But as the season progressed, McCloskey said more of her true personality was portrayed, which she appreciated.

“I think that with any reality show, you need to show the dynamics of the human experience and not just one aspect of his or her character,” McCloskey said.

The show has developed a cult following and broadcast of the third season recently wrapped up. Being involved in the project helped push Hunter Valentine’s music into new audiences and crowds, McCloskey said. Coupled with a new album that delves deeper into new genres, including fast-paced punk, ballads and classic rock, Hunter Valentine is reaching new heights.

They’re embarking on a tour with punk rock veterans Sum 41 and will stop in Salt Lake City at The Depot on Jan. 25.

“I love Salt Lake. The crowds are sometimes smaller than other cities, but they’re always so supportive and so energetic. It’s so much fun,” McCloskey said.

The show will feature hits from their new album, Collide and Conquer, as well as some of their earlier work, McCloskey said. But the focus will be on having a good time and playing some terrific music, she said.

“I think we’ve grown up a lot as musicians. We’ve learned to explore many different genres within our capability. We’re now open to creating pop, hard rock, melodic songs and even ballads. And we’re not afraid of putting all of that on one album,” she said Tapping into her biggest influences, including Lucinda Williams, Muse and others, McCloskey and the other band members collaborate on all of their songs, she said. But she’s not afraid to listen to more contemporary and genre-busting music.

“I think Taylor Swift writes great pop songs. I love listening to her stuff,” she said.

And while she doesn’t shy from her influences of community and culture within the queer genre, McCloskey said she doesn’t identify as a strictly lesbian artist.

“I don’t let my sexuality define the rest of my life. Why should I let it define my music?” she said. “It’s an important part of my life and I think everyone should stay true to themselves. But we’re all people with different aspects to our lives. I don’t think we should forget that.” Q For tickets and details for the show, go to depotslc.com.

VIDEOS | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | 53

february, 2013 | issue 215 | gaysaltlake.com

screen queen Girls: The Complete First Season

Watch them get even weirder during the Line-O-Rama extras.

Did Sex and the City make you feel bad about your own life? Who’s got the money for a Louis Vuitton bag, anyway?

Not Hannah, who shamelessly mooches free hotel food from her parents, falls for men who aren’t classically hot (and for gay ones, too), and who dances on her own to Robyn.

She’s the Carrie — only because she’s the one with the most screen time, and because she’s a writer — of this NYC girl group. Clueless as to what she should do with her life, Hannah spends a lot of time having sex with the weirdly handsome Adam and worrying about everything. Lena Dunham plays her, and she’s also the head writer of the phenomenal Girls, one of the best series on TV right now — a real-world take on life as we know it, with adorable, sexy, funny and fearless anecdotes (next time you pee on someone, try not to think of Hannah’s “ew” face).

HBO goes all out with the extras, but the coolest supplement comes to you in 144 characters or less: a journal of Dunham tweets.

Beasts of the Southern Wild

Pitch Perfect If Glee wasn’t singing the lowest note of its four-season run, it might at least stand a chance against Pitch Perfect. But with the zany musical-comedy about an all-girls collegiate a cappella group, the TV show’s recent episodes are even more unbearable. Yup, Pitch Perfect is so good that it makes Glee suck harder. If only Ryan Murphy had a competitive riff-off in a giant pool, more screwball writing, some aca-awesome vernacular, or Rebel Wilson — because no film/ TV show should get made without her in it. But even if Wilson, as Fat Amy, crushed every scene she was in with one-liners and mermaiddance improv, the cast — a myriad of types, including a mousy Asian, a handsy lesbian and a sex fiend — practically made this pitch perfect.

The fun doesn’t stop there, either:

Just 6 years old and suddenly living in the “Bathtub,” Hushpuppy must defy her physical and mental limitations and find the courage, strength and love to face the devastation Hurricane Katrina has left on her ravaged bayou home. Part of that means caring for her ailing father and standing up to the monsters that try to stop her from rising up. First-time director Benh Zeitlin’s slice of reality-meets-mythology poeticism is one of the most moving experiences of 2012, buoyed by newcomer Quvenzhané Wallis’ Oscar-nominated performance — one of remarkable maturity, fierce vigor and genuine moments of heartbreaking poignancy. She’s a little powerhouse, and not just in the movie. That adorable audition tape during the extras shows what a cute firecracker she is.

ParaNorman How do you make a zombie movie without brains? You don’t. So there’s that mushy mind stuff in ParaNorman, but it’s not the only organ in this wonderfully animated kind-of-kid adventurecomedy from Coraline creators. There’s heart, too. In this gooey good time, Norman doesn’t just see dead people; he talks to them. Says hi to the hippie ghost on the way to school. But he’s also the only person who knows how to break a curse to cease a zombie attack on his town. And his grandma is Elaine Stritch. Oh yeah. Who’s cool now? Norman is a fake-life “It Gets Better” story, but he’s not the only thing progressive about ParaNorman: The jock loves boys.

Cast members voice their characters during a behind-the-scenes special feature, which also includes

a clip explaining how they brought ParaNorman to, uh, life.

Sparkle The remake of this Motown musical about a flashy girl group will be remembered as one thing and one thing only: Whitney Houston’s last film before her untimely death. Which is kind of a shame. The great singer’s career has seen better days. Houston’s tough-love mom role — serving as a cautionary tale to the rising star of her daughter, Sparkle (Jordin Sparks in her screen debut) – has less range than the icon belting one of her classic hits, though she earns those tears running down your face when she puts her heart into “His Eye is on the Sparrow.” But not that bittersweet moment — or all the music, drama and infectious charisma of Sparks — can give Sparkle the boost it needs to be more than just a very second-rate Dreamgirls.

Remembering the icon on “A Tribute to Whitney Houston,” the special features do more justice to her legendary status than the con-

ventionally middling movie itself.

The Dark Knight Rises Like Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight, the (probably not) final installment in Christopher Nolan’s dark and political Batman trilogy got its standout star: Anne Hathaway as Catwoman. Destroying any doubt that “Mia Thermopolis” couldn’t handle the part that Michele Pfeiffer made iconic, Hathaway reinvented the sneaky jewelry thief as a purrfect version of the sexy comic-book legend. And she’s not the only one rocking her role: Michael Caine is still a scenestealer, Tom Hardy is relentlessly nasty and Christian Bale’s Batman is our Obama. Plus, it’s got Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Nolan’s astonishing “last” chapter feels conclusive enough to close the saga, but who knows: Its epic ending hints that, maybe, The Dark Knight will rise again. Over three hours of bonus features are included in the combo’s standalone disc. They’re all worth a look, but no more than the nerd guide to the Batmobile. Q

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54 | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | COMICS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 215 | february, 2013

anagram An anagram is a word or phrase that can be made using the letters from another word or phrase. Rearrange the letters below to answer:

Lesbian Band

RUIN ELEVENTH ANT ______ _________

cryptogram Jane’s World

A cryptogram is a puzzle where one letter in the puzzle is substituted with another. For example: ECOLVGNCYXW YCR EQYIIRZNBZN YZU PSZ! Has the solution: CRYPTOGRAMS ARE CHALLENGING AND FUN! In the above example Es are all replaced

by Cs. The puzzle is solved by recognizing letter patterns in words and successively substituting letters until the solution is reached.

This week’s hint: J = T

Theme: Quote from Barrack Obama’s inauguration speach.

Mnz dmnzefh gt emj kmqbrfjf nejgr mnz sih azmjlfzt iex tgtjfzt izf jzfijfx rguf iehmef frtf nexfz jlf riy. ___ _______ __ ___ ________ _____ ___ ___ ________ ___ _______ ___ _______ ____ ______ ____ _____ ___ ___.

PUZZLE ANSWERS ON PAGE 62

february, 2013 | issue 215 | gaysaltlake.com

COMICS | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | 55

56 | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | FASHION

gaysaltlake.com | issue 215 | february, 2013

fashion

Baby, it’s warm inside It’s cold

outside but Baskit Underwear is keeping it nice and steamy inside. We caught up with designer Eric Schwers to chat about what’s hot this winter in men’s underwear styles. To purchase Baskit styles, go to Spark/Cockers, 550 S. 700 East or baskitwear.com.

Are there any new trends this winter in men’s underwear? Winter trends tend to bring out union suits, darker colors and heavier fabrics. We see an uptick in sales for our boxer briefs and boxer shorts.

Industry-wide right now we’re seeing some basic trending toward wider waistbands, cotton blends and the use of primary colors. Our guys want underwear that is functional and über-masculine.

Are there any styles (box cut, bikini cut, etc.) that are more popular this season? In our segment, we’re seeing a general trend with guys buying styles with a longer leg — so trunks and boxer briefs.

This has been happening for the last few seasons. We’re also seeing a reemergence of the boxer short. We just released our Active Boxer short styled after the traditional boxing shorts worn by boxers in the ring and it has been incredibly popular. Our version is made from a super soft modal

blend and it’s stylized a bit so it fits a little tighter than a regular boxer short.

Do you have any advice for our larger, more full-figured men on underwear shopping? Any particular styles or colors? Don’t just buy underwear without some thought. First and foremost, it’s important to buy styles that you will be

comfortable wearing; not only from a fit/ physical comfort perspective but also from a mental perspective. Are you going to be comfortable being seen in certain style or color? If not, think twice before you buy several pairs. Having said that, a new style or color can be good for you too. It can be the thing that drives you to meet your fitness goals or become more outgoing or give you a bit of courage. I have several pairs of underwear in my drawer that I do not wear on a daily basis. I use them for a purpose. I wear our active low-rise trunk when I go running.

What would be a good Baskit option for our readers that would like to emphasize their asses? Any particular styles or cuts? Well, if you really want to show off your butt, our original JockBrief is a sure bet. This is a style we developed in 2009 and it has been copied by almost every other brand since then. It’s a brief in the front and a jock in the back so your “Netherlands” are left out in the open. In terms of a more traditional style, trunks tend to be the best fit for framing out man’s rear end. They sort of box you in and this can cause you to fill out your pants better.

Can you tell us a little more about Baskit underwear and why it is different than other companies? Quality, design and fit — pure and simple. We use high quality fabrics, and consistently try to create new and/or improve upon designs that feel good when a guy puts them on. Q

CROSSWORD | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | 57

february, 2013 | issue 215

Qgiggles

I Dreamed a Dream

21 Coarse salt in the tub 22 Tin Man slicker 26 Helm location Across 27 Seemingly forever 1 Bones partner 28 Rent or allow 5 Second fruit eater 30 Ted of gossip 9 Go lickety-split 32 Former NFL player 14 Give a hang Tuaolo 15 Vincent Lopez 33 Musket attachment? theme song 36 Prick up one’s ears 16 Word before “ho!”

39 Ancient harp 17 End note 40 The Gay ‘90s, and 18 Rachel’s TV show more 19 Playful aquatic 41 Boy in a Johnny Cash critter song 20 Javert portrayer in 42 Tree with triangular 39-Across nuts 23 Barely get by, with 43 Grand ___ seizure “out” 48 Kevin of American 24 Once Upon a Mattress Beauty Down legume 50 Occurred to (with

1 What Arlen did to 25 Begin stomping “on”) The Wizard of Oz grounds 51 Like Dorian Gray 2 Noh alternative 29 They go into drives 3 Murdoch and others 52 They might be 31 Funny Girl holder charging 4 The L.A. Sparks strip 34 Skin moisturizer 54 Map legend, usually them 35 Letters on the 5 Avoid going straight 56 Water molecule Internet threesome 6 Word after bottom 37 Org. for Bama and 59 Omar of ER

7 Mapa of Desperate LSU 60 Pan foe Housewives 38 Mardi Gras follower 61 Elton John broadway 8 Editor Roshan 39 Gay fave movie of musical 9 Comes in third 2012 62 Satisfied cries, 43 Vidal’s Breckinridge 10 Hugh Jackman perhaps played him in The 44 California has a big 63 Type of tent Boy from Oz one 64 Wing for Julia 11 Enjoy orally 45 Maiden name preMorgan 12 Wife without in-laws ceder 46 Gaza Stripper, e.g.

13 Aachen article ANSWERS ON PAGE PAGE 62 47 Some like them hot 49 Come out in the long run 53 Howard of Gone With the Wind 55 D.C. lobby group 57 Collection suffix 58 Fantine portrayer in 39-Across 62 Begins, on Broadway 65 Somewhat, in music 66 Bus Stop playwright 67 Amadeus star 68 Countee Cullen work 69 Stag party?

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58 | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | ADVICE

gaysaltlake.com | issue 215 | february, 2013

ask mr. manners

Checkmate, Ms. Austen

There is a fine line between seduction and flirtation

by Rock Magen mrmanners@qsaltlake.com

To quote

Jane Austen from her Pride and Prejudice days, “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.” Now to make this applicable, “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single [gay] man in possession of a good [career] must be in want of a [husband].”

I make no claims to being a dating guru, I’m Mr. Manners, however in my time living in Salt Lake City I’ve been privy to experiencing my fair share of “unfortunate” dates. Bad dates vary from intolerable to insufferable, mostly rendering us the hopeless victims of incompatibility, but after being asked how much it would cost to sleep with me (don’t worry, I smiled, winked and told him he couldn’t afford it), perhaps it’s time for a dating manners “refresher.”

Dating is an audition. You are both reading lines cold, looking for the spark of chemistry that leads to a continuing role. Put aside the posturing and the scoring pad; dates are meant to be fun encounters on the town (the town being translated as a public place).

No more preparation is necessary than the personal-growth homework you’ve already put into making yourself attractive and interesting. Isn’t that how you got the date anyway?

Something I feel strongly about is that a first date begins by arriving separately and ends by leaving separately — exceptions being allotted for events which require formal attire,

making it acceptable for both parties to arrive together. No matter how the dates goes, having a private method of escape (and meeting in a public place) either gives you a chance to wish for more or hit the gas and leave it all behind. What happens between the entrance and exit is all up to the involved parties. But if you fol-

q scopes ARIES March 20–April 19 Your forceful manner makes waves in the workplace.

Keep your opinions to yourself this month and you will be a lot happier from 9 to 5. Your personal life blossoms when an old friend comes back into your life later in the month.

TAURUS April 20–May 20 Your strong, steady nature will keep you calm during a tumultuous month at work. You won’t fall prey to co-workers’ worries. It’s a different story when it comes to romance.

An evening with that special someone will allow you to open up and let your emotions show.

GEMINI May 21–June 20 You’ll feel like you’re on an emotional roller coaster when it comes to family this month. Relatives will spend a lot of time with you and share their true feelings. Don’t hold your emotions in. Venting them will help bring you back to an even keel.

CANCER June 21–July 22 Bask in the glory at work this month as you successfully complete a difficult project. Your superiors will be impressed. Your social life improves and your phone won’t stop ringing.

low my advice and have your own getaway, I can guarantee things will go much smoother.

A final reminder — there is a fine line between seduction and flirtation. Flirtation is a distinct act of charisma, a give-and-take less like chess and more akin to backgammon.

Seduction is flirtation with a specific “thrust” to further

action. The best techniques cannot be listed because they are employed impromptu as a natural extension of whit and charm. But I have found that solid eye contact, flashing a smile, the occasional wink and remembering your date’s first name are a good start. Indeed, skill is involved, but the thrill of chance is always at play. Q

Friends you haven’t heard from in quite a long time will be in touch.

they drive you crazy at times.

LEO July 23–August 22 Your outgoing personality is a hit with superiors at work. They need someone to go after the heavy hitters and it very well could be you. Your loyalty to a good friend could put you in a difficult situation this month. Don’t lose someone close to you just because you’re feeling impetuous.

SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22– December 20.

Don’t let a mistake at work get you down. Just explain yourself and correct the error. You don’t lie well, so don’t try. Your family ties grow stronger this month. As for romance, you’re riding a wave of excitement. Enjoy it and start thinking about the future.

VIRGO August 23–Sep. 22 Even though it may be hard for you, you’re going to have to sit still when it comes to a family event this month. Let relatives make the plans and only give your input if asked. It all will work out for the best.

A friend will look to you for advice.

Try not to be judgmental.

CAPRICORN Dec. 21– Jan. 19 Keep your shoulder to the wheel at work this month. Don’t let petty arguments among co-workers distract you. A close friend will need your help. Give them support but stand your ground when they make a ludicrous request. You’ll be thanked for it later.

LIBRA Sept 23–October 22 Don’t let work get you down this month. It’s only a job; so many more important things go on after 5 p.m. Romance blossoms later in the month. You’ll be swept off your feet when you least expect it by someone whom you never thought could interest you. Gemini and Aries are involved.

AQUARIUS Jan. 20–Feb. 18 Now’s your chance to take the lead and show everyone at work what you’re capable of.

A loved one will seem aloof this month, but don’t overreact. They just need to be alone for a little while. Respect his or her wishes.

SCORPIO Oct. 23–Nov. 21 You know who you are and what you can do, so don’t be a showoff at work. It can make you look foolish in front of your boss. Family matters are of prime importance this month. Show loved ones how much you care — even if

PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19 Life is your stage this month — make your mark wherever you go. However, don’t let your satiric nature go overboard. Respect others’ feelings.

Show compassion to a friend in need later in the month. He or she is counting on you for advice.

february, 2013 | issue 215 | gaysaltlake.com

SCENE | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | 59

60 | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | SEX

gaysaltlake.com | issue 215 | february, 2013

the dating diet

Daddy Daycare

by Anthony Paull anthony@qsaltlake.com

I started

doing away with New Year resolutions in my 20s when I began to realize that nobody gives a shit what I resolve.

Obnoxious Facebook updates have only solidified my stance that people need get over themselves for eating like pigs and screwing like rabbits. My theory in life is to go on and do what you do as long as you’re not hurting anyone outside of the realm of decent sex. In other words, you’re permitted to deliver some pain in bed but only a quick ouchie, not that shit you got away with in college when you were too poor to buy adequate lube.

I’m happy to be in my 30’s because I can afford the luxury lube, unlike the spit-variety kind that I had to deal with when I was in a fraternity. Call me an elitist but it’s hard to maintain the magic of the moment when your mate is hocking a loogie into his palm to shove up your ass. I can’t help but laugh when I find out my friends still date guys in their early 20s, only to wake up with cookie crumbs and video games cemented to their butt cracks.

One friend named Hank, nearing 40, refuses to date anyone older than he could father. He keeps it legal but there’s always some new boy he’s lusting after who makes the rest of us feel uncomfortable at house parties due to the fear of getting busted for serving alcohol to a minor.

mirror shot of the month

We came across... so to speak... this mirror shot this week and decided to make this a new monthly offering.

Send your own mirror shot to editor@ qsaltlake.com to be considered for next month’s offering!

Hank states he doesn’t like men his age because they are boring and don’t like to do fun things like go out and get carded. Joe — the lad he’s dating — is the type of guy who shows up at the bar on a skateboard and tells everyone he forgot his wallet. His “look” is varying degrees of hipster meets homeboy meets homeless depending on alcoholconsumption.

Hank finds Joe hot because he has a tight body and is good in bed. That is, until last week when Hank freaked out during a routine blowjob.

“Oh yeah. Suck that young dick,” Joe said.

The comment didn’t sit right with Hank, who left a message with Joe the next day to end the relationship because the word “young” made him feel old and cheap. The problem is Joe speaks exclusively via text and usually waits a week to reply.

“Dude, I missed your text. You mean we’re not together? I thought we were gonna hit up Game Stop. I need the cheats to Zelda.”

Apparently Joe thought things were going great even though he hadn’t contacted or responded to Hank all week. He couldn’t figure out what was wrong with that, seeing as the two have an understanding that neither seem to understand.

The last they left it was they both want to be monogamous, but they don’t want to be in a relationship, but they want to be able to do things with their friends, but they want to be able to talk every day, but only if they want to talk.

“In other words, you want to be in a relationship,” I tell Hank.

“Guess so.”

“Then why don’t you just say that?”

Hank eyes me like I’m Buddha, professing something that he should very well know — that he consistently gets hurt because he tell guys what he thinks they want to hear even if it’s not what he wants. Then he freaks out when he gets screwed over because neither party wants to commit. The issue seems to be pretty popular among many of my single friends. They want the perks of being in a relationship, but don’t want the responsibilities that go along with it. It’s not an age thing — it’s universal. The emotional needs remain high, but the effort is less and less.

I don’t have time to see my boyfriend today but I’ll be sure to call, no text, no Facebook, no Skype, no …

I’ll send him an ‘I love you’ via Morse code. That’s retro, isn’t it? Wow! Does that make me a hipster?

Later in the week, Hank calls me when he sees Joe talking to another guy at the bar. He’s heartbroken.

“So what? Am I supposed to tell him I want more?” he asks.

“If you like him. But you might want to define what more is.”

Hank sighs. “I’ll call him.” And he does, placing a message on Joe’s voicemail, which has yet to be returned after three days. “See,” he says, over a beer. “I put myself out there and nada. He’s just a kid.

What’s the point?”

“The point is being an adult requires being able to admit what you need.”

“Great,” he says, taking a drink.

“Except he’s not calling back.”

“That’s OK. Maybe that’s what you need to be able to move on to someone who will.” Q

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62 | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | final word

gaysaltlake.com | issue 215 | february, 2013

the perils of petunia pap smear

The Tale of Gandalf and the Blue Moon

by Petunia Pap Smear petunia@qsaltlake.com

The road

The feeling was unbearable and I could not possibly wait until I got to Wendover. Sadly, this particular rest area was excitement. equipped only with out-house style faciliI was required to make a business trip to ties, unbefitting a queen of my stature the center of nowhere in Nevada on the day and grace. As undesirable as the outhouse of that recent big snow storm the weather was, I could not wait. I stopped and, with service named Gandalf. I prepared for the clenching butt, tramped through about trip by loading Queertanic II — my 1996 three-feet of snow to the outhouse. There Cadillac land yacht — with all the necessiwere no lights, so I was forced to use a ties any self respecting queen would need small rhinestone-studded flashlight atto travel in style and comfort. The trunk is tached to Queertanic’s key chain in order large enough to hold a week’s supply of capto see. Inside the cold, dark abyss, I saw tive twinks, so it barely meets the minimum that about six-inches of snow had blown requirements sufficient to haul the essenin through the air vents and covered the tials of my make-up and wardrobe. stainless steel toilet seat. In a panic, still I donned my fur-lined bra with battery clenching my butt cheeks, I brushed the operated heaters and strobe lights, opera snow off the seat. Timidly, I pulled down length driving gloves and leopard print snow my pants and exposed my jewels to the boots as I headed into the wild, wild west. frigid air. Damn, why couldn’t this just As I crossed the state line into Wendohave been just a number one? ver, Nev., Gandalf enveloped Queertanic Fearing my cheeks might freeze to the with a snowy force strong enough to live metal seat, I devised a scathingly brilliant up to the might of the namesake wizard. plan. I would straddle the seat and perform Powering forward, it was necessary to an airborne bombing raid which would remove one of my boobs and place it on prevent the necessity of direct cheek-tothe roof of Queertanic to act as a beacon frigid-steel contact. With all the grace of strobe light so that passing snow plows an elephantine ballet dancer, I removed my could avoid a collision. I fastened the other pants and underwear, thereby freeing my blinking boob on the front grill to light legs to spread, being careful not to let my the way like Rudolph. I was stuck driving stocking feet touch the cold, snow-covered at 30 miles per hour for the next 320 miles. cement floor as I stepped out of and back On the return trip, after 10 hours of into my shoes. I assumed the position. tense, white-knuckled driving, it was now Midway through the first grunt, my left well past dark and, as I passed the rest shoe slipped on the snow covered floor, I area at Pequop Summit between Wells lost balance and, due to years and years of and Wendover, my body was overcome conditioning, my heels reflexively flew up with the overpowering urge to purge. into the air — but Cryptogram: Our journey is not complete until our gay puzzle solutions not in that good Anagram: HUNTER VALENTINE brothers and sisters are treated like anyone else under the law. way. I fell, full-force, onto the frigid metal, dropping the flashlight and key chain down into the mucky abyss below.

I shrieked like a screech owl at a pitch so high that only bats could hear. In panic and disbelief I stared to Nevada is fraught with danger and

into the hole. The keys and flashlight were clearly visible, but beyond arm’s length.

Fortunately the cold temperature had forced the fetid mass of poop and pee to be more solid and less stinky than usual.

What to do now? I still had to go. My insides were in fact in pain. Pressure was continuing to build up like a volcano, but I did not want to bomb my keys. They were the only set I had to Queertanic and I would somehow need to retrieve them, in order to be able to proceed home, lest I perish in the freezing outhouse. I peeked out the door, nobody else was around.

Quickly I exited the room bare-assed as the day I was born, into the stormy weather and dove into the neighboring stall, hoping to perform the aerial bombing maneuver out of direct range of the keys.

The gentle glow of the flashlight illuminated my blue-from-the-cold, full moon with back-light from below. Spielberg couldn’t have lit the scene any more dramatically. Once again I assumed the position and blessedly, plop-plop, whiz-whiz, oh what a relief it is! With that immediate problem solved, I could now concentrate on the retrieval of my keys.

I needed a wire hanger. Damn! I had gotten rid of all my wire hangers at my last Mommie Dearest party. So, I fastened one of my boobs to the end of the snow scraper with duct tape. I lowered it into the pit of doom and used the magnets, which usually fasten my interchangeable nipples, as a boob-bobbing for booty. Upon lifting the keys out of the sewage, I took them outside and flung them into a snow bank to try and purge the poo. After a subsequent treatment with nail polish remover and handy wipes, I returned, shivering from the cold into the warm embrace of Queertanic to continue home.

Like always, these events leave us with several eternal questions: 1. Does Playtex sell a snow plow attachment for bras?

2. If a queen squeals in a bathroom, does a twink grow a chest hair?

3. Should everyone keep at least one wire hanger?

4. Must I retire the bobbing boob or will treating it with Febreeze suffice?

These and other important questions to be answered in future chapters of: The Perils of Petunia Pap-Smear. Q

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SEX | Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE | 63

february, 2013 | issue 215 | gaysaltlake.com

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