The World Got a Problem with Black Boy Joy

BY DEIONA MONROE

CREDITED TO HEYCOFFEEBREAK.COM

I hate having to write about this, but…here we are. There is an actual belief going around that if a Black man is walking around with joy in his aura, that that makes him less of a man. For years, the world has been telling Black men that they have to be tough, not happy; rugged not gentle; strong not vulnerable. If a Black man were to show that which is human, it’d be his downfall or he’d be viewed undesirable.

It hurts even more to see Black women reap that same energy. We already deal with the world putting down Black people, but it’s especially harmful when we do it to ourselves. If there’s any sort of unconditional love and support I expect to see, it’s between Black people. All these years later, and there’s still so many of us that continue to fall into the trap of self-race harm. Time and time again, we’re exposed to black people putting down, stepping on, shaming and ridiculing fellow Black people. Black-on-Black crime has mutated from physical to psychological warfare. We may still be breathing, but we certainly aren’t living.

If there’s anything I LOVE to see, it’s a Black man smiling. There’s this glimmering aura that comes off a Black man when he’s joyous and I think the aura is so powerful because we rarely see our kings smile—rather, the smiles are purposefully hidden. We’ve spent so much time and energy telling our kings NOT to smile that we find it weird when they do. Instead of letting them fully have that smile, we tear at their masculinity until it’s gone. That’s not…weird? You don’t want that man smiling at all? Not even with you? What if you tell a joke? Is he supposed to keep a straight face? Ok. I’m being

an asshole, but when I see a Black woman say they need a man that’s “masculine”, thus meaning he has to lack “Black boy joy”, that is deadass that head-assery I think of. The idea of “masculinity” negating “Black boy joy” is as absurd as my prior questioning.

For example, it sincerely pains me to see us telling our kings that joy and self-care are feminine traits. Like, if those complainers want their man’s cuticles talking, toenails chatting and skin a-town stomping, that’s fine for them. I, on the other hand, will be getting mani-pedis and facials with mine. And, for real, that’s called self-maintenance. If you got a problem with someone cleaning up their nails and sh*t, you’re buggin. Whether it be a man or a woman, eyebrows shouldn’t be raised for something so basic.

For those who didn’t clearly understand it: Black boy joy is NOT the opposite of masculinity. Every Black man that walks this planet has the right to joy and it does not make them any less of a man. Every Black man is allowed to show and share his joy. Every Black man should bless the world with their uniquely joyous auras—we literally can’t get it from anywhere else.

You, Black man, have an obligation to be joyous because the world needs your smile. We need to know that you’re healthy and when you aren’t, so please speak up. We need to know you have emotions—you don’t gotta front 24/7; we don’t want robots. The world can be evil to you, so stop fronting, you can express yourself.