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Spring 2007

Giving More Meaning to Life

16th Anniversary Edition Honoring Women

Author and Speaker

Michelle McKinney Hammond

Inspires Women to Wiser Choices Legendary Actress

Phylicia Rashad

Before and After The Cosby Show The Duo Power

of Mary Mary

The ‘Bloody Mary’ Challenge...

No Alcohol, Please

$3.00

6 Steps for Remembering Names 1

PURPOSE Magazine

Spring 2007

www.PurposeMagazine.com

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GM has purchased more than $44.3 billion in goods and services from minority suppliers over the last 36 years. One reason? Barbara Whittaker. As Executive Director of Machinery & Equipment and Indirect Purchasing, Barbara works directly with GM suppliers from all over the globe, including more than 600 certified minority suppliers like The Bartech Group. Formed under the sponsorship of GM in 1976, The Bartech Group is now a $200 million company, and one of the largest staffing companies in the nation. Which means that they not only help Barbara diversify GM’s supplier base, they help to diversify GM’s workforce as well. GM awards more than $7 billion in purchasing and contracts annually to minority firms. Barbara Whittaker is just one reason GM is committed to increasing that number each and every year. For information about GM’s Supplier Diversity Program visit www.gmsupplypower.com. CHEVROLET

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PURPOSE Magazine

Spring 2007

PUBLISHER’S

Perspective

Discovering Hidden Treasures

eneath the layers of life’s surface, the greatest treasures are hidden. What appears to be is what we see, not necessarily what is, which is usually underneath. Oil is deep in the ground, gold and diamonds are in the mines, and radiant pearls are in the oysters at the bottom of the sea. Yes, researchers and inventors can attest to the laborious probing and multiple experiments required before a breakthrough. When the light shines through in what seems to be the gloomiest and darkest places of life, usually its brilliance was there all along, hiding behind the clouds like the sun on a cloudy day. Knowing the sun will shine again fuels motivation to continue through any dullness that looms. Even more inspiring is the realization of the faithful God who has always caused this huge incandescent body of fire and gases to supply light and heat for our survival. What an awesome and consistent manifestation of the Lord’s love for us. But this and all the other blessings lavished on us are usually taken for granted with little or no gratitude. Consequently, most people miss the main point for the gift of existence—to have an intimate relationship with our Maker and to fulfill His unique purpose for each of our lives. Few actually seek or pursue this greatest treasure which should be our primary quest. As miscalculations and faulty judgments perpetuate the human dilemma, only truth, in its many forms Spring 2007

can infuse clarity into otherwise hopeless situations. Accuracy in self assessment should always precede the opinions and conclusions we draw of others. Still, being true to oneself is the realization required to access all other truth. In reality, we all need help from the Creator, no matter how independent we try to be. However, dealing with the unknown, beneath the surface and beyond the visible, can be confusing and intimidating, to say the least. The fact is, people must contend with the invisible in a visible world; a dichotomy beyond definition in the natural human experience. Thus, religion with all its traditions became remedy but not a cure for the innate lack of spiritual understanding in human beings. We are indeed spiritual beings clothed in natural bodies, which perpetuates our deceptions. Therefore, revelation can be grasped by establishing a personal relationship with God. And why shouldn’t we? After all, our lives have been molded and shaped by relationships, not religion. Parents, guardians or caregivers nourished us during infancy to accommodate survival, crafting opportunity for future growth, development and maturity. So, here we are. Let’s appreciate life as it unfolds, grasping its deeper meaning. This issue is a tribute to women, whose greater beauty is hidden within. It is designed to encourage more appreciation and respect for them. May the articles touch you in a special way and draw your hidden treasures to the surface. Faithfully with Purpose,

Ella Coleman

“For there is nothing hidden which will not be revealed, nor has anything been kept secret but that it should come to light.” - Mark 4:22 NKJV

PURPOSE Magazine

SPRING 2007

VOL. 17 • NO. 1

Contents

12 Features 6

Actress Phylicia Rashad:

Before & After The Cosby Show by Elisa E. Stevens

I Need a Bloody Mary

by Dr. Deveonne Tyree Cooke

10 ‘Sorry, What’s Your Name Again?’ Six Steps to Relieve the

Most Common Memory Worry

by Roger Seip

12 The Duo Power 0f Mary Mary by Grace Francis

14 Author Michelle Mckinney Hammond Inspires Women to Live Their Best Life

by Ella Coleman

Health & Healing

18 A Clearer the View of You …

Acquiring a Healthier Self-Perception by Ilinda Reese

Parenting on Purpose

IN EVERY ISSUE…

19 Breaking Communication Barriers Between You and Your Teen by Dr. Peter Sheras

Publisher’s Perspective

Letters to the Editor

20 Book Views

Travel Tips

22 The Right Way to Go

by Marty and Carolyn Wicks

21 NoteWorthy Music

Visit PURPOSE ONLINE at

w ww.Pu r p o s eMagazine.com… • For more great articles on FASHION, HEALTH, BUSINESS, FINANCE, SPIRITUAL INSIGHT and more! • To renew your PURPOSE Magazine subscription!

PURPOSE Magazine

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Giving More Meaning to Life

Spring 2007

LETTERS to the Editor P

urpose is such an inspirational magazine. Since I began reading it about five years ago, its articles have always encouraged me when I was discouraged. There must be someone praying for Purpose and it must be blessed by God because it impacts me spiritually.

hen it comes to spiritual matters, Purpose is by far a champion magazine. I really like the articles, especially the scriptures that are included at the end of each story that seems to enhance whatever message each article contains.

Thanks for daring to be different.

If Purpose is making the positive impact on other readers as it has on me, it must continue. Please keep publishing this great magazine. Marcia M. Marshall Baltimore, Maryland

Carol Johnson Moore Indianapolis, Indiana

udos to the writers who contribute to Purpose. They usually get right to point while providing workable solutions to problems that challenge most people. Consequently, Purpose provides wisdom that surpasses most of the trendy columns so prevalent today.

Dr. Harold Smith Atlanta, Georgia

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Spring 2007

Vol. 17 • No. 1

PUBLISHER & EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Ella Coleman EDITORIAL ASSISTANT

Grace Francis CONTRIBUTING EDITOR

Norlishia Jackson CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Myles Munroe Zig Ziglar Barbara A. Reynolds Deveonne Tyree Cooke Barbara Taylor Sanders Grace Francis Leonard J. Ram, MD Ilinda Reese Roger Seip Marty and Carolyn Wicks Elisa E. Stevens Dr. Peter Sheras PRODUCTION DIRECTOR

Ivory D. Payne PHOTOGRAPHERS

Robert Randolph, Willie Jennings Kojo Kamau CIRCULATION/DISTRIBUTION

Larry Coleman

ON THE COVER

Photo of Author and Speaker Michelle McKinney Hammond Purpose Magazine is published quarterly by

got acquainted with Purpose last year when one of my friends let me borrow the July/August Men’s Issue, which featured actor Hill Harper on the cover. Since I mentor young men, that particular issue really inspired me to do more. It was great to see a celebrity like Mr. Harper devoting significant time to helping troubled young men.

Needless to say, I have not returned the copy my friend loaned me. But I have put it to good use sharing it with the young men in my life. David K. James Detroit, Michigan

Spring 2007

Ellavation Enterprises, Inc. P.O. Box 83020 • Columbus, OH 43203 Phone: (614) 418-1785 E-mail: purpose@iwaynet.net

www.PurposeMagazine.com

Send your letters to: PURPOSE Magazine Letters to the Editor P.O. Box 906 Temple Hills, MD 20757 email: purpose@iwaynet.net

Copyright © 2007, Ellavation Enterprises, Inc. All rights reserved. No portion of this publication may be reproduced or duplicated in whole or in part without prior permission from the publisher. Subscription rates: $25.00 for nine issues in the U.S. and $36.95 in Canada; $40.00 other international subscription orders. Single Issue: $3.00 newsstand price. Standard postage paid at Columbus, OH.

Letters may be edited for clarity and length.

PURPOSE Magazine

Actress Phylicia Rashad: Before & After The Cosby Show by Elisa E. Stevens

orldwide she is known to millions of fans as Clair Huxtable from The Cosby Show. When the show debuted in 1984, she shot to fame for her portrayal of a loving mother-of-five and a high-powered attorney. Rashad’s character controlled both her rambunctious children—played by Sabrina La Beauf, Lisa Bonet, MalcolmJamal Warner, Tempestt Bledsoe, and Keshia Knight Pulliam—and her irascible husband with tart rejoinders and a loving firmness. It became, as New York Times television critic John J. O'Connor declared, “A series that single-handedly revived what was supposedly the dead situation-comedy format and nudged NBC into a ratings dominance that has lasted to this day.” The show made television history for portraying a middle-class household that just happened to be African American, a family that faced much of the same crises as any other American family of their socio-economic status. “Bill showed that people are more alike than they are different, and that they want to embrace these likenesses,” she stated in the Los Angeles Times. “The show wasn't written for a black family. It was black because we're black people.” During her eight-year tenure on the show, she earned two Emmy Award nominations and a People’s Choice Award for “Favorite Television Female Performer.” How did she come to fill such a desirable role on “Cos”? Well, after graduating magna cum laude with a bachelor's degree in fine arts from 6

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Howard University in the early 1970s, Rashad took stage and screen roles, married, had a son, and divorced. By the mid-1980s she was an accomplished Broadway musical actress, with roles in the Tony Award winning musical Dreamgirls, Into the Woods, and The Wiz to her name. She had a leading role in the New York production of Blue and has starred on Broadway in Into the Woods, Jelly’s Last Jam, and Ain’t Supposed to Die a Natural Death. However, she credits her 1983 break on the ABC soap opera One Life to Live, in which she played Courtney Wright, “to the presence of God within me.” When popular comedian and author Bill Cosby—the first African American to star in a network television series in the 1960s—was launching his own sitcom about a middle-class family in New York City, he called Rashad to read for

the role of Clair Huxtable, the attorney wife of his gruff obstetrician character, Dr. Cliff Huxtable. The rest is history. After her work with Bill Cosby, Rashad continued to work in television, film and the theater. In June 2004, she made history when she became the first AfricanAmerican woman to win a Tony Award for a leading role for her performance as Lena Younger, the matriarch in a revival of the play A Raisin in the Sun, which tells the story of a black family's struggle to live together on the South Side of Chicago in the 1950’s. Rashad made her debut as an executive producer when she co-produced and co-starred with her sister, Debbie Allen, in The Old Settler. This production launched the new PBS national television drama series PBS Hollywood Presents. Her other television credits include guest appearances in the series Touched By An Angel, A Different World and roles in the television films David’s Mother, Free of Eden, False Witness, Jailbirds, Polly and Polly Comin’ Home!; the latter two directed by Allen. Rashad was born Phylicia Allen in 1948, in Houston, Texas. She was one of four children birthed to a dentist father and a mother who was a talented pianist and a Pulitzer Prize-nominated poet and scholar. Although they divorced when Phylicia was six, the split caused less distress than usual. She said their parents had “the good sense to allow us to love them both.” Rashad and her sister Debbie inherited from both parents a devotion to Spring 2007

academic pursuits and a musical ear. Her sister Debbie is a noted Broadway and television choreographer, director and actress. Despite their middle-class comforts, Texas in the 1950s was still an uneasy place for African Americans. Rashad remembered how her mother tried to shield them from the larger, harsher world: when they encountered a place from which African Americans were excluded, such as an amusement park, her mother would explain that it was simply a private club, and they were not members. Their example before Phylicia and their continual focus on her potential as an actress has attracted her to roles of integrity and honesty, with generally family friendly fare that can be enjoyed by young and old alike. Phylicia changed her name to Rashad in 1985, upon her marriage to sports announcer Ahmed Rashad, who proposed to her in front of millions of people during a nationally broadcast football game. The couple separated in 2001. She is the mother of two children and three stepchildren. A well known member of numerous charities, including the Diabetes Association African-American Program and the Educational Teacher’s Association, Rashad has strived to bring social issues to the small screen with roles in such thoughtful productions as Uncle Tom's Cabin (1985) and Her single feature film Once Upon a Time... When We Were Colored (1996). She also starred with Sidney Poitier in the 1997 Showtime film Free of Eden in the role of a woman accused of killing her husband in self-defense. In early 1999, Rashad was in rehearsals as the lead in Everybody's Ruby, a Broadway drama centered around an incident in the life of novelist and playwright Zora Neale Hurston. Written by Thulani Davis, the play recounted Hurston’s unofficial inquest into a murder in Florida in 1952. Though Rashad is a talented actress equally acclaimed for dramatic, comedic, and musical roles, her relatively low profile in the entertainment world does not bother her. She rejects the idea that race is a factor. “I can't proceed as a human being and I certainly can't proceed as an artist if I focus on racism,” she told Willens in the Los Angeles Times interview. Spring 2007

“I learned that from my mother early on, who did everything to keep her young children from being permanently scarred. From her I learned that the Spirit is much bigger than man-made law,” she concluded.

...The Spirit is much bigger than man-made law. —Phylicia Rashad

Cosby tapings, while remaining in the Washington production of Blues for an Alabama Sky. “If you think about being exhausted, you will be,” Rashad told Sommers in the Washington Post interview, conducted during those months. “This is a circumstance that I did not seek out, that has found its way to me. But I'm not complaining. It’s either feast or famine, and I've had my share of famine,” she stated. A beloved Howard alumnus, she is the recipient of Harvard University’s Foundation Award and is an active participant in other charitable and non-profit organizations. She supports the PRASAD Project, an international charitable organization designed to help communities by giving the tools and opportunities they need for self-reliance. Rashad is committed to the mission of Children’s Hospital, which provides pediatric health care and services to children in Washington, D.C. and to RNT—Recruiting New Teacher.

When Bill Cosby returned to TV comedy in 1996 with CBS’s Cosby, he again called on Rashad to play Ruth Lucas, his character’s wife. Originally, the part had been cast with Telma Hopkins, but apparently the chemistry between Hopkins and Cosby was not particularly strong, so he asked Rashad to take over the role. She had always enjoyed the challenge of working with Cosby, who preferred a theater-trained cast that is unafraid to improvise. Rashad fit in well as Ruth Lucas, wife of Hilton and mother to their working-class family in Queens. Cosby was modeled after a popular British sitcom called One Foot in the Grave, and centered around her husband, 60 years old and newly unemployed. Cosby’s Hilton faced the challenge of starting a new life and finding new ways to occupy his days. Instead, in typical Cosby fashion, he interfered with the lives of family members The Cosby Show family: played by Phylicia Rashad and neighbors. When Rashad’s and Bill Cosby with children Keshia Knight Pulliam, character is asked what it is Lisa Bonet, Malcolm-Jamal Warner and Tempestt like having her husband afoot Bledsoe. during the day, she compared it to having a piano in the kitchen—“it’s Along with supporting these organizabeautiful but it's in the way.” tions, Rashad is dedicated to commuRashad won praise for her new nicating the importance of Fine Arts in Cosby-wife role, still the imperturbable education. foil to the comedian’s bluster. It earned “A gracious woman Rashad an NAACP Image Award retains honor...” for Best Actress in a Comedy Series, - Proverbs 11:16a NKJV and some frequent-flyer miles--for a time, she flew weekly to New York for PURPOSE Magazine

I Need A by Dr. Deveonne Tyree Cooke

shuttered when I heard the title for this article in my spirit to be written for this holy season. I didn’t understand its meaning until it was revealed in prayer that the Virgin Mary wasn’t chosen to bare in her body the presence of a holy Jesus simply because she was a virgin. Our image of Mary has largely been shaped by the perception of her as a pristine Jewish maiden who when visited by an angel acquiesced to her fate to be the mother of the Messiah.

e have generally accepted that Mary was chosen because she was a virgin. In reality, it is unlikely that this was the only characteristic qualifying her for this venerated position. Think about it …was she the only virgin girl in her village? Were there not other young girls who could have fit the bill of Jesus’ mother who didn’t have the complexities that Mary had with already being engaged to marry?

There must have been something far more important for us to understand about Mary’s election for the Immaculate Conception. What was it that made her so special? What was God thinking about when he cast her for this role? Before positing the answers to these questions, which you may not have given much thought to before, why not ask yourself what is it about Mary’s life that speaks to the significance of my existence on earth. When I attempted to get underneath the surface to explore who she really was and the significance of her example not just for women but for anyone walking through life in search of meaning and God, I couldn’t help but note her relationship not only with Jesus as his mother but also as a follower of his teachings. 8

PURPOSE Magazine

Surely, Mary wasn’t physically with Jesus all the time, for the Bible records that she actually lost account of him on at least one occasion as he was in the temple talking with and teaching religious scholars. Nevertheless, assuredly she wasn’t too far away when significant events occurred in his life like the first miracle performed of turning water into wine during a wed-

When we embrace Christ, we are really embracing an apostolic call, which expands our capacity to love, empower, uplift and inspire anyone in our sphere of influence. ding feast. Still, what is most striking about Mary is the fact that she had to bear in her own life the residue of the persecutions and rejections felt by her beloved son and eventual savior. If you are a parent and reading this, you already know too well, how deeply you hurt when your children hurt. If they are sick, your heart aches because they are

suffering. Imagine living a life of suffering alongside your child from the moment he/she is born because of a death warrant issued, which follows him/her from the crib to the cross. Mary’s life had to have been bloody just as Jesus’. She took the blows to the heart as he took each wrenching lash from the twisted whip tearing his flesh before bearing the splintered tree to Calvary. No doubt, her feet were worn sore as she walked the rough pathway to his execution site where she stood close enough to the cross to be splattered by the blood pouring from his shattered body pierced through with a sword. Then picture her drenched in blood as his lifeless body lay in her arms like a baby at rest a mother's bosom. Could she have known all this would befall her on the faithful day she received the heralded message that she was “highly favored” above all women? In reality, we don’t know what lies in store for us when we accept the call of God on our lives. Your call may be to take care of a physically or mentally challenged child, to become a missionary in a remote, isolated land, or simply to be a light in a community riddled with drugs and violence. Whatever the call, be assured it will Spring 2007

require you to get bloody. Like Mary, anyone answering God’s call will be unable to maintain an aloof, uninvolved, detached and uninterrupted life. The very essence of God’s divine plans and purposes for us requires our full obedience and submission. This heart attitude is why Mary was chosen; she was as pure in spirit and soul as she was in body. What am I really saying here? Mary represents the Church, not the visible church divided by denominational lines and doctrinal disputes, but a submitted Body of Believers, which fully obeys the commission of Christ to take the gospel to all nations. To enter into the sufferings of Christ means we can no longer stand on the sideline, keeping our hands clean and our outfits from getting wrinkled and dirty when the messenger comes with orders from a mighty God to carry out His assignments on earth. This means we have to leave the Comfortable to embrace the challenge of Change. Change has been beckoning the Church for some time now, but some believers have all but plunged their heads into the proverbial sand to avoid facing what they know they must become and do. Serving a resurrected Jesus compels us to stop doing what we want to do what Jesus said. Like with Mary, God speaks within our hearts and in our circumstances to cause us to totally abandon our own agenda, plans and purposes to effect positive change in our assigned territories. As with Jesus, His disciples, and our early church fathers and mothers, we will be bloodied by misunderstanding, ridicule, rejection, and scorn. Some may even face death. Yet, we will experience the awesome presence and power of God as we are led on our destiny path to greater and greater levels of understanding, wisdom and provision. Then we will be able carry out the orders we have been given to bring healing and wholeness to a broken child, family, community, or even a nation. No one is too old to make the decision to come close to the bloody Christ like Mary did. When we embrace Christ, we are really embracing an apostolic call, which expands our capacity to love, empower, uplift and inspire anyone in our sphere of influence. We become more willing to get down in the trenches and dunghills where torn and tattered souls are gathered like scrap metal on refuse heaps to snatch them from the clutches of eternal destruction. So the next time you see a picture of the Virgin Mary, see her the way God did when He chose her—close to the cross, willing to suffer alongside the one who came to save and deliver her. Only a bloody Mary would do. Then determine to live a life of sacrifice in order to reach out to anyone who needs to see Jesus, not as a lifeless form on a rugged cross, but a as a resurrected reality in his or her life. Dr. Cooke is a motivational/inspirational speaker who endeavors to reach people where they are to build them in all areas of life. She is the founder of Unlimited Pathways, which provides counseling, consultation and training services. Dr. Cooke can be reached at: drcooke@unlimitepathways.net or 614-258-5766.

“For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” Romans 8:18 KJV

Spring 2007

PRAYLIVE.COM The Live 24 hour, 7 day a week National Prayer Line Network

Wenda Royster, the founder of Pray Live, knows the power of prayer. She has weathered many difficult storms in her life, which she credits to prayer and God’s grace. Wenda knows that without prayer and her faith, she would not have survived the trials in her life. It was prayer that helped her deal with the grief of loosing her father to lung cancer at the early age of 45. Her prayer life was the only thing that carried her through the pain of loosing her brother at Wenda Royster, founder the age of 33 in 1993, and her only of Praylive.com, enjoys sister at 48 in 1995. In 1996, she operating her internet had the responsibility of planning radio station and live prayer room. the funeral and burial of her brother in-law, which resulted in her niece and nephew having lost both parents within a year. In 1998, she was struck in the head and that injury resulted in six hours of brain surgery; six months later her mother’s leg was amputated. Wenda will quickly tell you her testimony about prayer and that it was only God’s grace and mercy that helped her to see light through clouds of grief and sadness. So God led her to develop a prayer meeting at her church. Once when the weather was too bad to travel to church, she told the group they would have prayer over the phone and that initiated the birth of Pray Live. Now, Pray Live has grown nationally and internationally, with groups praying together from all denominations, faiths, races, and ages. Pray Live is a non-denominational prayer line open to everyone. This ministry is cross cultural and international, reaching to almost every corner of the world. "People are hungry for prayer and find great comfort calling a prayer line where groups of people pray together. Many call to pray for a special need or the needs of someone else. Some call to be in prayer with others to hear others pray," Royster explained. The devastation of life experiences are sometimes overwhelming; so, the prayer line is a comfort to those hurting. "We live in a society where many people work excessive hours of the day and are often separated from loved ones. But now, using the service Pray Live to connect lives, spirits and hearts, they can have peace, hope, and encouragement." According to Royster, the highly technical society we live in today has created much stress and great need for corporate prayer. Thus, Pray Live is meeting the needs of busy people in an ever changing, ever challenging world. There are those who call from cell phones during the day and night when they need to hear comforting words. She concluded,"People need other people and when they connect with others by dialing a simple phone number for prayer, there is no end to the magnitude of the blessing." PURPOSE Magazine

‘Sorry, What's Your Name Again?’

by Roger Seip

Six Steps to Relieve the Most Common Memory Worry If you live in fear of forgetting the names of prospects and new acquaintances sometimes within mere seconds of being introduced to them, you're not alone. Surveys show that 83 percent of the population worries about their inability to recall people's names. Ironically, while most of us hate having our names forgotten or mispronounced, the majority of us claim we just "aren't good at remembering names" or putting faces together with names when we meet people again.

f you have difficulty recalling names, you know that the two most common scenarios are forgetting the name instantaneously upon being introduced to someone new, and failing to recall the name of someone you've met and interacted with in the past and should know but just can't pull up from your memory bank. Forgetting names becomes more than just an embarrassing social faux pas in sales. Straining to recall a name can so preoccupy you that you are unable to fully pay attention to your client or prospect. He or she may perceive you not only as unfocused and easily distracted, but also as not very bright if you're unable to devote your full attention to him or her. Even worse, if you forget the name of a client with whom you've worked in the past, he or she may view your memory lapse as a betrayal of trust, which can cost you a great deal of money if that client severs the relationship. INTEGRATING LEARNING STYLES TO IMPROVE NAME RECALL While common, this frustrating phenomenon can be relatively easy to overcome when you commit to taking steps to improve your memory. The most important key to effective learning of any kind is understanding that there are three learning styles: visual, auditory, and kin10

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esthetic (physically interactive. The more you can apply all three of these styles to a task, the more quickly and solidly you will learn anything. Practice each of the following steps to improve your name recollection in every sales and social situation. 1. When you're first introduced to someone, look closely at his or her face and try to find something unique about it. Whether you find a distinctive quality or not is irrelevant; by really looking for a memorable characteristic in a new face, you’re incorporating the visual learning style. And a word of advice: if you do find something that really stands out about someone's face, don't say anything! Within minutes of meeting someone new, it's generally a bad idea to exclaim, "Whoa! That's a huge nose!" 2. The next step utilizes both auditory and kinesthetic learning styles. When you meet someone, slow down for five seconds, and concentrate on listening to him or her. Focus on the prospect and repeat his or her name back in a conversational manner, such as "Susan. Nice to meet you, Susan." Also, make sure to give a good firm handshake, which establishes a physical connection with the prospect.

3. Creating a mental picture of someone's name incorporates the visual sense again. Many people have names that already are pictures: consider Robin, Jay, Matt, or Dawn to name just a few. Some names will require you to play with them a bit to create a picture. Ken, for example, may not bring an immediate image to your mind, but a "can" is very close. Or you might envision a Ken doll. The point is not to create the best, most creative mental image ever, so don't get caught up in your head during this step of the process, thinking, "Oh, that's not a very good picture. What's a better one?" The worst thing you can do when learning is to stress yourself out and over think the process. If an image doesn't come to you right away, skip it and do it later. You'll undo all of your good efforts if you're staring dumbly at your prospect, insisting, "Hey. Hold still for a minute while I try to turn your name into a picture!" 4. Once you've identified a mental image that you associate with a person's name, the next step is to "glue" that image to the person's face or upper body. This bridges that gap many people experience between being able to recall faces but not the names that belong to those faces. If you met a new prospect named Spring 2007

Rosalind, for example, you might have broken her name down into the memorable image of "rose on land." Now you must create a mental picture that will stick with you as long as you need it and pop into your head every time you meet her; this should be something fun, even a little odd, that will bring "rose on land" to mind when you see her face. You might imagine her buried up to her neck in earth, with roses scattered around her, for example. Because you created the image, it will come up next time you see her and enable you to recall her name. 5. At the end of the conversation, integrate auditory learning by repeating the prospect's name one more time, but don't ever overuse someone's name in an effort to place it more firmly in your mind. Use the prospect's name only right at the beginning of the conversation, and then again at the end; if you feel like you can do so naturally, you might insert someone's name once or twice in a natural fashion during the course of the conversation, too. But if you've ever had a

Spring 2007

stereotypically pushy salesperson use your name a dozen times in a five-minute conversation, you know how annoying, even weird, this can be, so don't overdo it. 6. Keep a name journal or a log of important people you meet, and review it periodically. Writing is a form of kinesthetic learning - you're getting a part of your body involved in the learning process - so if you're really serious about wanting to remember people's names for the long term, you’ll write them down. Forget Me Not: It's the Effort That Matters Most The most important thing to know about this memory process is that even when it doesn't work, it still works. For example, if you get stuck trying to make a picture out of someone's name, skip it for now. The next day, when you have a chance, give the matter a few minutes of concentrated thought. If you still can't get a picture, stop and take up the matter a week later. Even if you're still unsuccessful at creating a mental image, you've thought about the prospect's name so much, there's now no way you'll ever forget it! So you've actually accomplished

what you set to do in the first place. People can't remember names for one main reason: they're just not paying attention. This process forces you to think. If, for example, you struggle with the step of creating a mental picture, the other steps - looking at the prospect closely, shaking his or her hand confidently and repeating the name a few times - are easy to do, will solidify the name in your memory, and will ultimately convey a positive image of you to clients and prospects. That positive image will certainly make you memorable to prospects, enabling you to close more deals and increase your bottom line. Roger Seip is the President of Freedom Speakers and Trainers, a company that specializes in memory training. Workshops are presented all over the country. To learn more, visit www.deliverfreedom.com, call 888-2330407, or e-mail info@deliverfreedom.com.

“A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, loving favor rather than silver and gold.” - Proverbs 22:1 NKJV

PURPOSE Magazine

The Duo Power 0f Mary Mary by Grace Francis

Mary Mary performs at the 3rd Annual Back to School Jam presented by VGS&L Entertainment at The Ohio State University campus.

The lives of these two women have been an exciting and unbelievable journey to success. Sisters Erica and Tina Campbell have experienced much within their lifetime and are convinced that they were put here and divinely empowered to make a difference in the world.

rowing up in a family of eleven in Inglewood, California, the Atkins were no strangers to fun, love and fellowship. Their house, though modest, was the hub for neighborhood children and close cousins alike. Family was the foundation that set Erica and Tina up for unprecedented success in their own personal lives, as well as their lives 12

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as professional singers. Erica remembers,

“We were always in church. My mom and dad were really big on us being together. Our parents’ joy made our home environment a loving, warm and comfortable place to grow up. We were poor like most families. We had our challenges just like any other family, but it was so much fun! We always had

somebody to talk to and somebody to lean on.” Their aunt and uncle served as role models. Their uncle, Charles Edward Lollis, was the pastor of their church home, Evangelistic Church of God in Christ. He and his wife also played an important part in the lives of Mary Mary; perhaps the most important as it relates to their profession. Erica explains, “It played a huge role in our lives which I think was great because it gave us something to do …We learned so much about God but we also learned about community and friendship. And it was the fact that Pastor and First Lady Lollis gave you God…that was exciting for us and it truly made a difference in our spiritual upbringing.” This love of and dependency on family early in life has helped the ladies cultivate happy homes of their own. Tina is married to Teddy Campbell, established musician and singer, with two daughters and one on the way! Erica is married to Warryn Campbell (no relation to Teddy), musician, singer and producer, also with a daughter. The expertise and perspective of both husbands weigh heavily on the way the sisters perform. “Warryn definitely challenges us to be better when it comes to writing, and even with performing and our level of professionalism, he is always pushing us to be better,” Erica says. And Tina agrees, “When our husbands are out in the audience, they are the hardest to impress more than anybody. I don’t care who is out there in the audience, if we get an OK from our husbands, we know we did a good job.” Both husbands also played a critical role in Mary Mary’s beginnings. The many choir solos of their childhood certainly sparked an initial interest in singing, but from landing roles in the Gospel Play Circuit stage plays, such as “Mamma I’m Sorry” (where Teddy Campbell, now Tina’s husband, played the drums), Erica and Tina developed a love for performing. The ladies then knew they wanted to sing professionally. However, not quite knowing how to get there and not really having mentionable contacts in the inSpring 2007

dustry, Erica and Tina proceeded to write songs and create music. Little did they know, Warryn had been shopping their work around to record company executives? Columbia Records consequently offered Mary Mary a record deal. The rest is history that is still in the making… Their debut album Thankful, released in 2000, went platinum! They won a Grammy Award for Best Contemporary Gospel Album, not to mention a Lady of Soul Music Award for Best New Artist(s), three Dove Awards, six Stellar Awards, and a Soul Train Award. All of this took place in the first year of Mary Mary’s professional career. “We had high expectations, but God exceeded our expectations by far…Our music is definitely hip hop and soul but our message is the Gospel of Jesus Christ. So since we didn’t necessarily sound like or look like traditional gospel artists, we weren’t exactly sure how people would take our sound, our look, or our lyrics…So we stepped out on faith and God took care of the rest!” 1 The year 2002 resulted in more success for the ladies with their sophomore effort Incredible. Then 2005 marked their third and self-titled album, yielding record-breaking Billboard Chart rankings, another Grammy Award, an American Music Award, and countless other awards and recognition among gospel and secular arenas worldwide. Erica shares, “When it comes to meeting people, especially since we have the mainstream audience…it is amazing to me to have that kind of opportunity. I think that is our greatest joy: reaching people who don’t know Him (The Lord).” This past Christmas (2006), they shared the true meaning and their love for the holiday through A Mary Mary Christmas, full of mostly original Christmas songs written by the sisters themselves. Also, they had the opportunity to write songs for Kierra “Kiki” Sheard, Men of Standard, and Joann Rosario. But even with their music rapidly growing in popularity and crossing secular boundaries, they still have not lost sight of the purpose for their profession and ministry. They do not compromise their gift and calling for the sake of reaching the world. Tina passionate emphasizes, “We have to make sure we give people God. We can do our own thing and hold it down for God; we don’t have to try to give them our own rendition of [the world’s music].” Erica echoes, “We are not of the mind-set that you have to emulate or try to be like the world to do God’s business. We want to reach everybody and we want to be original for God. Whatever His assignment is for us, that’s Spring 2007

what we want to fulfill and complete.” It may seem as if Mary Mary has had the most perfect life, but as little girls back in Inglewood, CA, Erica and Tina (believe it or not) had their own share of insecurities. They both struggled with low self-esteem and poor self-image. “Little Girl,” a song on their Incredible Contemporary gospel duo Mary Mary is admired by CD explains some of younger and older generations for their warm personalities what they are speaking and unique style. of. The sisters dealt with the same issues in differclearly has a plan and a path for [us], so ent ways, but they both learned and love we just grit our teeth and walk forward, to share how they came to accept themand whatever door God opens for us, we selves based on what God’s word says will do it.” about them (and you): “I will praise you, for Equipped with a family history of I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous love and support, husbands who work on are Your works, and that my soul knows very their behalf, and a world that needs their well.” Psalm 139:14 ministry, Mary Mary is here to reach everyone – youth and teens, women, men, young adults, Christians, other religious and secular audiences – letting them know not only of God but of the fullness of God and how He can make life better.

Your gift makes room for your call. God always allows you a platform...

— Erica Campbell

“…Once a girl (or woman for that matter) finally realizes her worth in Christ, she becomes really free! Once she becomes convinced that God made her beautiful and that He sees her as a gift, she has won the war. She’ll be less concerned with what other people think about her because her determination is to please God.” 2 Many may inquisitively wonder, “What exactly does Mary Mary have that enables them to appeal to the diverse audiences they’ve reached? How can their ministry be so powerful and effective in a day where darkness has infiltrated the minds of people everywhere? It is because this is their calling. For them, this is more than simply loving to sing; it is allowing themselves to be open to God’s calling on their lives. Erica says she has learned that “your gift makes room for your call. God allows you a platform, and that platform is usually set up for your gift. It’s a privilege to be called and to be chosen, but it requires a lot on our part, so it’s a little intimidating. But God

Be on the lookout for a new CD, as well as a new clothing line, radio show, stage plays and tours within the upcoming year. The ladies are also writing songs for Jennifer Hudson and Whitney Houston’s upcoming albums. To find out even more about the life and ministry of Mary Mary, their book Transparent will provide a more in depth look (read review in BookViews section). For more information about CDs and other products, visit www. mary-mary.com. For more information about upcoming concerts and tours, visit www.myspace.com/marymary. Book References 1. Campbell, Erica and Tina with Mitchell, Sheeri. Transparent. Chicago, IL: TRUEink Publishing (A division of Bonus Books), 2003, pg. 45. 2. Campbell, Erica and Tina with Mitchell, Sheeri. Transparent. Chicago, IL: TRUEink Publishing(A division of Bonus Books), 2003, pgs. 13-14.

“Therefore we also pray always for you that our God would count you worthy of this calling, and fulfill all the good pleasure of His goodness and the work of faith with power...” 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12 (NKJV)

PURPOSE Magazine

Author Michelle McKinney Hammond Inspires Women to Live Their Best Life by Ella Coleman

Having converted her hurts and pain into literary prowess and spiritual power, this dynamic writer, author, counselor, public speaker and television co-host directs others out of their dilemmas into purposeful living.

he uses her pen and words as a sword for defending and preserving lives. Best-selling author and speaker Michelle McKinney Hammond is a warrior of faith who inspires change in the lives of thousands. Most of her work focuses on pushing women from their comfort zones into greater self-esteem, higher moral standards and productive living. Tremendous motivation seems to flow straight from her

PURPOSE Magazine

heart as she speaks with great compassion and conviction for serving others, which coincides with her purpose and passion. “I’m very passionate and very driven by my passion. My passion is to help people. My purpose is to equip people so they are able to live the life they want and get the love they need.”

Michelle has penned more than 18 books since 1996. Sales for her first two titles, What to Do Until Love Finds You and Secrets of an Irresistible Woman (Harvest House Publishers), each sold over100 thousand copies. “Most people say my books are very conversational. I love to have conversations with people that will change them; change their hurts into weapons to defeat selfdestructive forces; change their failures into stepping stones. That’s my heart—to talk with people, to be real with them, to acknowledge where they are without judgment; to give them the tools they need to get

beyond where they are to the place they want to be in,” she explained. Michelle’s conversational penmanship is like a brand that causes so many to identify with what she writes. With her dynamic, girlfriend-in-your-livingroom writing style, she has released her own special art of conversation onto men and women across the world through books on living life single, as a woman, in interpersonal relationships and in relationship with God. And according to Michelle, it all began when she was a little girl. “As far as books go, from the time I was a child I had way too much to say on any given subject. God had to channel that and put it somewhere before I just became obnoxious and got on everybody’s nerves,” she recalls with laughter. “I always encourage people to live with the things that drive them and ask God to help them focus in the right direction so those blessings don’t become curses to other people. So I’m happy that I’ve had the opportunity to focus my passion toward giving advice to those who really want it.” However, she says she and others who are constantly pouring into others, need prayer. “Pray for people who bless you. Prayer it the most powerful thing you can do for those who bless you. Pray that God will keep them, sustain them.” On the surface she says it looks like people who speak and give advice has it together but sometimes they wonder if it’s worth it.” She adds, “But then we’ll receive a wonderful letter and that encourages us to keep going.” And on she goes, writing, speaking, teaching, and inspiring, always hoping to help someone. “ I don’t like pain, disappointment and failure and I don’t like to see anyone experience any of these things. So whether it’s a friend, a reader, Spring 2007

radio listener, or someone watching me on television, I have the same degree and passion for them to make it,” she says. In her books, Michelle brings understanding with guidance to women by covering topics that have confronted them since the beginning of time—loving and being loved. She articulates the issues in the hearts of women that can make or break them. The titles speak for themselves: Unspoken Rules of Love, Get Over It and On With It, Intimate Thoughts, Whispered Prayers, Sassy, Single & Satisfied, What Becomes of the Brokenhearted, A Sassy Girl’s Guide to Loving God, The Power of Being a Woman (formerly released as The Power of Femininity), Where are You God? (formerly released as His Love Always Finds Me), Why Do I Say “Yes” When I NEED To Say “No”? (formerly released as The Genius of Temptation), The Diva Principle and its companion workbook, The Diva Principle—A Sistergirl’s Guide (All previous books published by Harvest House Publishers), How to Be Blessed and Highly Favored (WaterBrook Press), If Men Are Like Buses, Then How Do I Catch One? (Multnomah Publishers), Prayer Guide for the Brokenhearted (Servant Publications), The Unspoken Rules of Love (Busara Books for Waterbrook Press), 101 Ways to Get and Keep His Attention (Harvest House Publishers), In Search of the Proverbs 31 Man (Waterbrook Press) and her newest release, Ending The Search For Mr. Right (Harvest House Publishers). As a successful author Michelle began speaking across the nation for churches, universities, women’s groups, general audiences, and seminars for couples. She has been a keynote speaker for Focus on the Family, as well as a regular speaker for Women of Virtue conferences. Her numerous speaking engagement also include The Crystal Cathedral, The Southern Baptist Convention, New Vision New England, The First Ladies’ Conference at Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship, New Birth Cathedral, The Christian Working Woman’s Conference, Vanderbilt University, Spring 2007

Trinity Theological Seminary, and many more. Michelle is known for blending a refreshing femininity with hard-hitting reality checks. She shares contemporary messages interlaced with humor, relevant life experiences and practical biblical principles, making God come alive for her audiences and helping people approach their relationship with

God on a more personal level. Michelle’s artistic inclinations led her to become a graduate of the RayVogue College of Design (now known as the Illinois Institute of Art). Her creativity was expressed in yet another dimension in 2000, when she adapted a poetry collection into a play called “Love Talk,” performed by the Chicago Theater Company. In addition to public speaking, Michelle also likes to sing. But her melodies are aimed with a serious reason in mind. “I’m not interested in entertaining. I’m interested in helping. I sing with a purpose. I strategically use my music to get people into a place of being open to what’s to follow … the words that should take root in their hearts and change their minds, and therefore change their lives. When I’m using music in public, I want to take the people in my presence somewhere,” she declares. She also has sung background for gospel singers such as Jesse Dixon and Sandra Crouch, as well as on album projects for Danniebelle Hall and Alda Denise Mitchell. Michelle’s newest project takes her singing and song writing to a new level as she finishes her upcoming release for Inner Light Records titled “It’s Amazing.” On a personal level, she uses music and songs to enhance her spiritual experience. “As it pertains to music, for my own personal edification, I just love worship. I love singing to the Lord. If I could just get away with only having to worship and not having to be concerned about paying a mortgage, then that’s where you would find me 24/7. I have more questions answered in worship than any place else,” she insists. Michelle also has made many television appearances on such shows as “Politically Incorrect,” NBC’s “The Other Half,” BET’s “Oh Drama!”, “The 700 Club,” James Robison’s “Life Today,” “Open House,” “HomeLife,” “COPE,” “It’s Time for Herman and Sharon,” and many others. Her guest appearances on radio shows include Moody’s “Midday Connection,” “Janet Parshall’s America,” Beverly LaHaye’s “Concerned Women for America,” Jennifer Kitte’s “Today’s Black Woman,” Continued on page 16 PURPOSE Magazine

earth shattering and probably the hardest thing I’ve ever dealt with because I was very young.” But this excruciating emotional pain is what she says caused her to cry out to God. “I did not know the Lord at the time but that is what brought me to the Lord. There was no place else to go; it was either die or accept Christ. Depression was intense. We had an argument before his death, so there was also guilt on top of the sadness of separation from him. I had lots of questions After days of traveling and speaking, Michelle McKinney Hammond is about greeted by her dog. etern i t y. “The Dick Staub Show,” and “Master When you’re 21, you’re not thinking Control.” about eternity. You’re concerned about Her ability to share her convictions immediate gratification and the daily and insights in a non-confrontational things of life. You ask questions like, manner landed her a co-hosting job on ‘Who am I becoming?’ All of a suda cable television women’s talk show, den this person was gone, my life was “Aspiring Women,” appearing in more empty and I had many questions,” she than 100 markets across the country. explains. She is known for dealing with her guests’ As she grappled to make sense of subjects with just the right mix of vitalher life, she says she drew tremendous ity and sensitivity. Michelle has co-hoststrength from her faith in Christ, which ed the show, a syndicated production of enabled her to move on. “For me peace Chicago-based Total Living Network, is huge. A sense of direction is huge. with Shirley Rose and Tammy Maltby There was just a peace that came with since 1998, and appears on other shows my decision, which established in my as their Singles Correspondent. mind that everything was going to be Although a woman of achievement okay; that I would recover and get past and great strength of character, her sucit. But it’s something you never get cess as an author is backed by her faith over but you’re able to file it in a difand perseverance to overcome tests and ferent compartment in you life and in trials. Consequently, Michelle says she your heart, so you’re able to move on.” identifies with most women who face Her healing and renewal came graduchallenges and crises because of her ally, so to those who have suffered the own life experiences. She says she knows loss of a loved one or some other major what it feels like to be hurt, grieved and tragedy she say it takes time and prayer. depressed. “Nothing really changed immediately One of her greatest challenges in life in my life other than I had an awareness came during her early 20s. She recalls, of a new relationship [with God] that “The most difficult thing for me was would sustain me through the place that loss of someone that I loved very deeply. I was in. And the impact of that is that There had been a man in my life and he I wanted to share that relationship with was shot and killed. For me that was other people,” she says. 16

PURPOSE Magazine

Michelle overcame her pain and went on to embark on a bright career that surrounded her with a variety of interesting people, “both famous and not so famous.” For over 15 years, she enjoyed an award-winning career in advertising. She rose in rank at Chicagobased Burrell Advertising, where she became an Associate Creative Director. While creating campaigns for such top-notch clients as Coca-Cola USA, McDonald’s, Procter and Gamble and GMC, Michelle worked with a host of celebrity spokespersons, including Lena Horne, Aretha Franklin, Kool and the Gang, Earth Wind and Fire, Al Jarreau, Ashford and Simpson, Peabo Bryson, New Edition and many others. “It was a wonderful place to share my faith and hopefully it was contagious. And I think it was to a great degree with lots of people,” she concludes. Michelle’s success in the advertising field brought about a greater vision and an entrepreneurial call. So after leaving Burrell, she started her own company, McKinney Creates, serving as art director, copywriter and producer of short films, infomercials, and advertising for major corporations. She received numerous recognitions for her work, including a U.S. Television Award for her first commercial, more than twenty CEBA (Creative Excellence in Black Advertising) Awards, a Windy Award and the golden and bronze ITVAPHILO Award. Still, there were new endeavors on the horizons. She would begin to write books and to speak and minister to people across the country. In the midst of the business of a booming career, Michelle was hit with another challenge. She was hit by a van, incurred broken bones and was confined for several months. “When I had the accident, I had been questioning: ‘What was the next phase of my life? Where was I going from here?’ Because I’m always about growth and I had been doing the same thing for a while. I felt the stagnation creeping in and knew I couldn’t stay there. It was around that time I had been advised to write a book and I had kind of dragged my feet on it, so I had a lot of time to think about it while I was lying in bed,” she remarked light-heartedly. Michelle acknowledges that she was Spring 2007

able to handle the aftermath of the accident with more maturity because of her closer relationship with God. She emphasizes, “After the accident, because I knew God better, I didn’t feel sorry for myself. I did ask, ‘Why me?’ but I instantly asked, ‘Okay God, what are you saying and what would you have me turn this into?’ So I was actually able to maintain pretty well. He supplied for me so beautifully during that time. It was just an awesome time. Of course, I was in a lot of pain and had other things to overcome; learning to walk, run, and go up and down stairs again; the simple things people take for granted. But God’s grace was so rich during that period; it was a wonderful time of discovering Him on another level.” From her setbacks she learned priceless lessons about life principles and how they work. “All I know is that I’ve learned from the cycle of life that every setback brings a promotion of some sort; a kick-start into an area of newness. If you can just maintain and not panic—just find out where you’re going, get clarity on it, clear your desk for the next assignment, you’re then in the position to move on. And God patiently waits for us to be ready. He’s not going to waste our time or His,” she explains. To break a vicious cycle that keeps happening over and over again, Michelle recommends, “First, be honest with yourself about the cycle. Stop blaming other people for the cycle because it has one common denominator and that’s you. So, own your part in it. Ask God to show you what contribution you make to the cycle and then do things differently. The only way to get different results is to do something different. Make better decisions and choices. We need to ask God to clarify what it is we need to be changing because everything around us is a response to our actions. Taking time to be responsible for what we’re attracting is more than half the battle won,” she advises. For singles she says the key is to develop a relationship with God because it removes the desperation edge. “It’s very important to establish your heart at a place that doesn’t move or cave in before you start to share yourself with other people who will be inconsistent at Spring 2007

best because that’s the nature of humanity. It’s not that men are ‘dogs’ or they don’t care. Men want the same basic things that women want—love and respect. But we all come with our own baggage: fears, weaknesses, etc. Most of all, it’s important to know that God has wired us all to fail one another because if one person could be our all-in-all there would be no need for God and He’d never allow that. He’s allowed us to have that flaw on purpose and we can celebrate that. There is one perfect lover and only one.”

It’s very important to establish your heart at a place that doesn’t move or cave in before you start to share yourself with other people... — Michelle McKinney Hammond

“Like most women, I have the same needs, wants, desires and dreams, as everyone else,” she says. And perhaps this is why she is able to reach them, touch them, and help them. “I want to empower women.” In an effort to do so, annually, in the spring, she hosts The Diva Conference, which is an intensive weekend of interactive involvement, including journaling, interfacing and accountability to help women actually improve their lives. “Jesus said He came so we could have life and have it more abundantly. So at the end of the day I tell people they can have life and love, and have it more abundantly without stabbing themselves in the foot and making wrong choices; decisions that rob them of the life and the love they really want. If I can just give a few words of wisdom to someone, so that the light comes on

in their heart, they go ‘Ahah!’ and that moment changes something about how they’ve been approaching life, doing things or interacting with others, they get victory suddenly in their life. That’s a bonus to me. I’ve done my job.” Without the help of God and good mentors, Michelle says she wouldn’t be where she is today. “There have been powerful women in my life that mentored me early and remained and are still speaking into my life.” Two of her mentors are Bonnie Wilson, author of Knight in Shinning Armor and Terry McFadden, author of Only a Woman. “I have a very strong inner circle of friends that I’ve had for over 20 years who make no bones about telling me when I need to get my act together; or questioning me or praying for me, or whatever needs to happen. I think you have to have people who walk with you, who are not afraid to get in your business. We all get ‘caught up’ sometimes because we’re human and I don’t need you approving of my bad behavior. So you need someone to say, ‘No girl, you’re crazy’ and force you to walk in transparency because secrets get us into so much trouble. If you have to keep it a secret, you need to examine it.” Today, Michelle has advanced to another phase of her life. “I’m in another season of transition. I think some things are coming to an end in my life. I’ll be 50 this year. So I’m saying, ‘Lord, this is my jubilee year. It’s time for me to cash in some chips here,’” she says insightfully. As for the future, Michelle desires to reach and inspire more people. She expounds, “I have a burden to reach a broader audience. The world needs what God has to say. Sometimes in ministry we can become very guilty of babysitting the ‘us four and no more club’ and that’s not our assignment from God. I don’t want to have to explain myself when I see Him. I want to basically share God’s principles with the good news to those who are looking for good news.”

“She opens her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is the law of kindness.” Proverbs 31:26 NKJV

PURPOSE Magazine

Health&Healing

Clearing the View of You … Acquiring a Healthier Self-Perception by Ilinda Reese

A television advertisement for chicken features a woman sitting on the beach. As she speaks, her words demonstrate her lament. Her voice filled with passion, she repeats the words, “Emptiness, Emptiness. How can I fill this emptiness?” Out from behind the rocks, a man appears, dressed in business attire. With an air of authority and matter-of-fact attitude, he responds as if the solution is simple. He answers, “That’s easy. EAT something.”

n his book, Love Hunger, Dr. James Dobson, established that often a person will eat in an attempt to fill, what appears to be a natural hunger. In reality, the surface need for physical food is the result of a deeper desire. Through additional insights the individual discovers it is a love hunger they are trying to satisfy. In effect, it is to try to fill the hole in the soul with that which cannot be physically satisfied. The words of a songwriter described their search as, “Looking for love in empty bottles and cans, looking for love in a woman or a man.” And I add ...or a baby. Women grow up believing the messages which promote the idea that to value self, you must do more. The “do more mentality” can include losing weight, earning more or having a child. Internally she is always competing with someone thinner, younger, prettier or brighter. Indeed, she is unaware that she is competing with an outside image as well as her own subconscious view of herself Another example is provided in the fairy tale of Cinderella and her three wicked stepsisters. Cinderella lived with her three stepsisters, whom she thought were “all that.” Her perception was that she could not compete. Cinderella’s low self-esteem caused her to see herself in a subservient role. In the book, A Woman’s Worth, author Marianne Williamson, so aptly confirmed that, “At every moment, a woman makes a choice between the state of the queen and the state of the slave girl. 18

PURPOSE Magazine

In our natural state, we are glorious beings.” Cinderella accepted the role of a servant as her natural state in life, much like many women in the real world. It is the set image you have of yourself, of who you are in every area of life, which governs your behavior. The mental picture you hold will either aid in your growth or stunt it. Author Lucius Lewis, in his book, A Better Way of Taking Care of You, talks about your responsibility. He affirms that “Ultimately, you must decided what you will allow to govern your life...Your willingness to decide to move forward is very necessary to your improvement in personal growth.” Self-love can only come from the inside out. A sense of self-worth can only come from inner acceptance. To accept that you may never wear a size 10 again or that you will never be Mrs. Suzy Homemaker or Beauty Queen 2007. However, the usual occurrence is to continually seek validation from husband, peers, children, employer or anyone within a one-mile radius. It reminds me of entering a parking lot and receiving a parking receipt. Upon entering the place of business (your destination), the receptionist says, “Do you need validation?” To which you respond readily and immediately, “Yes.” You eagerly embrace the privilege of validation, which frees you from the responsibility of paying. Validation from an external

source frees the individual from internal responsibility. Consider: If you are not for you, who will be? If you are only for you, what’s the purpose? If not now, when? - Hillel By all means, do not settle for less than what you may become. In scripture it is written, “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7 NKJV). You’re more than you know. In fact, this is true of every person. The challenge is the selfdiscipline, faith and perseverance it takes to come to the fullness of who you are. Begin today taking small steps toward self-acceptance and love, knowing that God took care of every fine detail of you and did not make a mistake. Your life and spirit include your unique persona, smile, tone of voice, laughter, emotions, and so much more that would be missed if you left this earth. In addition, you possess qualities, strengths, gifts, talents and callings within awaiting your discovery. Only get rid of any clutter and clear the view of you. Ilinda Reese is an international motivational speaker, TV talk show host and author.

“I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made…” - Psalm 139:14a NKJV

Spring 2007

PARENTING on PUPOSE

Breaking Communication Barriers Between You and Your Teen How to Talk to Your Teenager Who Has Shut You Out

ost parents will probably agree that the greatest tests of parenting do not come when their children are infants, toddlers, or 4 to12year-olds but during their teenage years. Therefore, many parents dread when their “babies” become teens because with it comes puberty, trends, fads, dating and other things teenagers experience. It can be scary for parents. In most cases teens need help to handle wisely the behavioral changes that occur as they’re faced with their own concerns and problems. But for many reasons, they may not feel comfortable sharing what’s bothering them. So, your 15-year-old looks listless and spends lots of time lying in bed. But when you ask what’s wrong, you get no response. Or she/she says, “I’m fine, leave me alone.” What’s a worried parent to do? How can you keep communication flowing during the adolescent years? Most teens experience personal questions from parents as an attack of some

Spring 2007

by Dr. Peter Sheras

sort. You think you are starting a conversation in a polite, civilized manner, but that’s not how it seems to your teen. Straight and to the point, there are seven tactics for getting your teen to open up, so you can learn what you want (or need) to know about their life: 1. Drop a secret of your own from “way back.” This suggests that maybe you won’t recoil in horror if your child shares something personal about his private life. 2. Listen first, speak second. Speaking first can stop all conversation cold. 3. What’s not being said? How is your child acting? Has anything changed? 4. Ask “open” questions. Questions such as “What happened when . . . ?” compel your child to offer a more detailed reply. 5. Maintain a supportive tone. This conveys that even if you don’t condone what your child has done, you’re at least going to try and understand why he/she did it. 6. Quit while you’re ahead. It’s far better to solicit frequent small bits of informa-

tion than to force long “confessions.” 7. Above all, be patient and prayerful. Give it some time. Most meaningful results don’t happen instantly. Also, put your faith to work and expect change. In conclusion, remind yourself that because you are as concerned, you’re probably doing a much better job at being a parent than you think. Relax, don’t be so hard on yourself. The father of two young adults, Dr. Peter Sheras is a licensed clinical psychologist who has spent more than 25 years counseling adolescents and their families. He is the author of I Can’t Believe You Went Through My Stuff, a professor in the School of Psychology at the University of Virginia, and has his own practice. Visit www.ParentingPossibilities.com. This article was provided by MarketAbility.

“Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.” Colossians 4:6 NKJV

PURPOSE Magazine

book

VIEWS The common thread that connects this literary collection is their focus on the empowerment of women through the love of God, self and family. They make excellent gifts for mother, wife, aunt, sister, friend, associate or co-worker.

Embracing Destiny’s Crossroads by Lucile Stephens Richardson, ED.D.

Living Well: 365 Daily Devotions for a Balanced Life

by Carole Lewis

ewis, along with contributing writers provide a new perspective on Living Well. This daily devotional covers real-life spiritual, physical, mental and emotional issues that far precede weight loss. They expound on how to make wise choices in different areas of life and spark important questions that promote the balance we all need in life. Regal Books; ISBN 0-8307-4290-5 Hard Cover $19.99

Our destinies are predetermined far before any of us are born. However, sometimes obstacles get in the way. Embracing Destiny’s Crossroads explains how obstacles can become opportunities that impact your purpose and destiny. Dr. Lucile Richardson writes personally to readers in a way that can assist them in taking control of challenging situations to make the most of crossroads in their lives. She provides wisdom to discern and make wise choices each step of the way on life’s sometimes confusing journey. There are devotionals, prayers and scripture meditations between chapters. They provide an inspiring pause with activity for recognizing and progressing toward your God-given destiny. Xulon Press; ISBN 1-60034-386-4 Paperback: $13.99

Beautiful: How to be a Woman of God

by Beth Redman

his is a colorful autobiography of two phenomenal women in the music industry. They candidly share how they developed from girls to women, in their family, ministry, and career. This book will keep you engaged. Also, it contains littleknown Fun Facts about Erica and Tina!

iving in a world of glitz, glamour, and unrealistic expectations, it is normal for a woman to feel less than her best. This book tells how to break the cycle of destructive thought patter ns that have hindered the lives of women everywhere. It will help readers realize who they are in Christ, and to let go of insecurities and maladies that have caused women to lose sight of their beauty.

TRUEink Publishing; ISBN 1-56625-192-3 Paperback $14.95

Regal Books; ISBN -8307-4198-4 Paperback $9.99

Transparent: Between the Fire and the Rain is the Truth

by Erica & Tina Campbell (Mary Mary) with Sheeri Mitchell

When Women Worship: Creating and Atmosphere of Intimacy with God

by Amie Dockery with Mary Alessi

ife’s obstacles and experiences of the past can affect how we relate to God. Shame, regret, and feelings of unworthiness can hinder the act of worship. Amie and Mary delve into how to reach toward God and regain the experience that worship brings. Also, read about exceptional women who have overcome their share of emotional difficulties to become great worship leaders today. Regal Books; ISBN 0-8307-4279-4 Paperback $12.99

Simply Divine

by Jacqueline Thomas

his entertaining book draws out the importance of a family’s love. Fifteen-year-old Divine MatthewsHardison realizes this love once she has to relocate to her uncle’s house in Temple, Georgia. Since her uncle is a pastor, she was bound to be presented with biblical principles, and little did she know that her “fast life” at home in Beverly Hills would not be so appealing to her in the end. Pocket Books; ISBN 1-4165-2718-4 Paperback $9.95

“The heart of him who has understanding seeks knowledge...” Proverbs 15:14 NKJV

PURPOSE Magazine

Spring 2007

1. The Clark Sisters: (l to r) Jackie, Karen, Dorinda, and Twinkie (not pictured) were awarded the 2007 Chevrolet Most Noble Achievement Award. 2. Yolanda Adams presented and hosted Pre-Award Gala. 3. Patti LaBelle receieved a standing ovation with her Walk Around Heaven performance. 4. Myron Butler received the “Male Vocalist of the Year” Award. 5. Co-host Tye Tribbett is supported by his beautiful wife Chante. 6. Vickie Winans graced the stage with her Stellar performance of 3 The Rainbow. 7. Stars of Daddy’s Little Girls film, Idris Elba and Gabrielle Union, presented the Artist of the Year Award. 8. Donald Lawrence (holding Stellar Award) is surrounded by the Tri-City Singers 9. Mary Mary — Erica and Tina Campbell— co-hosted the event.

by Grace Francis

Starting the spirit-filled evening with Byron Cage’s Lift Him Up and I Will Bless the Lord and ending with Bishop Paul Morton’s We Made It, this year’s Stellar night was one to remember. The 22nd Annual Stellar Gospel Music Awards again elevated gospel music to new levels, and PURPOSE was on the scene to join in the festivities. Held at the historic Grand Ole Opry on Saturday, earlier this year in Nashville, Tennessee, Music City welcomed a host of pioneers and newcomers of the gospel world. The 2007 co-hosts were Kirk Franklin, Tye Tribbett, and Mary Mary, all of which have won their share of Stellar Awards and more. Among the special co-hosts, award winners, presenters and performers were:

Photos by Willie Jennings Spring 2007

music

Moments

NOTEWORTHY

PURPOSE Magazine

Travel Tips W

e are Marty and Carolyn Wicks. I am a 24-year veteran of the Ohio Army National Guard (retired) and a middle school Science Teacher. Carolyn is involved in Medical Sales, and we decided to turn our Plan B into a Plan A. Carolyn and I realized that we didnʼt want to retire below the means of our current lifestyle, and was presented with an opportunity to move our plan into action by owning our online travel business and things are going great. Since we are so excited about our business venture, we would like to offer you some tips in travel that can save you time and money. CONSIDER THIS TRAVEL TIP: Take out travel insurance if you havenʼt thought about it when taking a cruise or traveling to another country. Many people donʼt realize how important it is to have third party insurance. Third party insurance covers you from the time you depart from home until you return. This insurance covers every segment of travel, from back out periods, cancellations due to medical emergency or weather conditions, to lost luggage. If stranded,

the company will rebook your flight so you can avoid extensive wait time in line. You would also be covered in the event of a medical evacuation. Without insurance, youʼd be financially responsible and this could run into thousands. Why not be proactive in your travel and enjoy a hassle free vacation?

Discover more great travel tips with our on-line travel services. You can book your air flights, hotel, island resorts, car rentals, get-away cruise vacation, and get much more insider travel information. Be sure to contact us at www.islandviewtravel.com. Email us for a free copy of Success from Home Magazine (Your Purpose for Safe Traveling). Photo by Branham Photography at www.branhamphotography.com

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Visit us at www.PurposeMagazine.com Spring 2007

Spring 2007

PURPOSE Magazine

ENTER THE

Family Cover Contest YOU & YOUR FAMILY could be on the Cover of The Upcoming 2007 Thanksgiving/Christmas Holiday Issue of PURPOSE!

1st, 2nd and 3rd Place Winners! But You Must Register and Enter Your Family Photo and Brief Bio NOW! DEADLINE FOR ALL ENTRIES July 15th, 2007 Please note: All submitted family photos must be professional 8 x10 color prints or high resolution (600 dpi) jpeg or tiff electronic ﬁles. There is a $10 registration fee, payble by check, money order or credit card.

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