Just Simply Saying: Taking Your Marriage into the New Year to be Renewed

By Rhoda Whitfield

What makes a marriage lose its zest to become stale and boring? How can you get sparks back in your relationship with your spouse?

Take the time to think about planting flowers. After putting them in the ground, for them to grow into the beautiful flowers that they can become, you need to nurture them. You will need to fertilize and water them daily. The attention these flowers need daily to survive, is the same attention that your marriage will need daily to be successful.

Many times, we become so consumed with everything around us that we neglect to nurture our marriages. We need to nurture our marriages with love, kindness and forgiveness. It is also good when couples work on their ability to communicate with each other. It’s hard to work on these things when the husband works hard at being a good provider, which in some cases can cause him to not be available for his wife. The wife on the other hand, can become so overly involved with work, seeing that the children get to

extracurricular activities, doing homework, preparing dinner and getting everything done in preparation for the next day. The chance of her having any energy for her husband is probably equivalent to zero.

Let's look at this scenario about a couple. They have been married for fourteen years and have three children. The marriage is closer to being on the rocks than they think. Most of their conversations are centered on work, chores needing to be done around their home, their kid’s activities and simple mundane aspects of their marriage. They never talk about their love for each other, intimacy, or what makes each of them happy. They love each other but they lack passion.

Let’s put a pin in right at that point—passion. Now, it may be common for a couple's passion intensity to change but it should not completely fade from their relationship. You don’t want to get into a sexual rut. We may not be able to identify

the purpose kissing serves in our marriage, but kissing is critical. Kissing keeps you calm and decreases stress. It helps you through disagreements. It keeps your romance going and it keeps you on your toes with sparks and connection to your spouse. Finally, it causes you to daydream about your spouse when you're apart.

Passion! The couple in the scenario above was passionate early in their marriage but now their sex life has dwindled. So how do we resolve these kinds of issues? How do we get back to where we were? Regardless of what our day entails, we still need to have a designated time to interact with our spouse. Let's start afresh.

Start each day touching and agreeing with your spouse in prayer.

Give your spouse a passionate kiss when you depart and when you greet in the afternoon.

Be spontaneous. Plan date nights that don't include the children.

Express your love verbally and in action.

Rediscover your sexual pleasure.

Have fun and laugh together.

These are the things that are going to help you through difficult disagreeable times. Set aside time to talk about your likes and dislikes, what makes you happy, and how you can meet each other’s needs. Be transparent. Your spouse won’t truly understand how you feel unless you are transparent. Put your marriage in God's hand and allow him to become intertwined with you and your spouse.

Redirect your attention. Rebuild your foundation. Rekindle your flame. Reconnect your hearts. Renew your love. Restore your marriage. Rejuvenate your relationship by making your love fresh and lively.

I’m sure you're wondering why so many words beginning with “re”. Re-means to do again. So do it! I’m Just Simply Saying.