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APOCALYPTIC RUCKUS Rising stars at this year’s highlyesteemed and ravenouslyanticipated Miami Art Basel may not even be strictly visual artists after all. Fusing performance art with a punk rock sound, brothers Mike and Billy Tucci of UNSTOPPABLE DEATH MACHINES will showcase their music and experimental videos in Miami Beach after cityhopping from New York to Florida. Their thrashing apocalyptic ruckus is enough to induce a head-banging, uber-frantic-dance jam that won’t stop for rivers of blood or swarms of locusts. Just picture the unyielding coolness of Billy Tucci playing drums on the bar of Propaganda while the bartender pours liquor down his throat (this actually happened during their last visit to sofla). With the supposed doomsday quickly approaching, listening to a band described as “the party band for the endtimes scenario” might be a great way to go out with a bang. A stark contrast from their band name, “We Come in Peace”, the duo’s first full-length LP, was recorded at Last Ever Records with Jack White and was released in August 2012. The vinyl spins in your choice of blue or gold. When asked for last words of advice for Florida fans Mike responded thusly, “Move to New York City- it’ll change your life- then move back to Florida. Be yourself. Live your dreams, especially if you think you’ll fail. Call your mom. Be civil. Ease up on the internet, because it breeds cancer. Hit ‘em with it, but don’t get hit with it and keep on Chooglin. The truth is out there.” UNSTOPPABLE DEATH MACHINES play two shows at the 11th edition of Art Basel. Catch up with them on December 6 at Sweat Records and December 7 at Superchief Gallery in The Catalina Hotel. www.theunstoppabledeathmachines.net

by Bridget Kant


GOOD FEELS GOOD I am frequently asked how I choose the charity organizations that I work with and/or contribute to. It’s a rather simple task and you don’t have to drive yourself nuts picking one. Just choose something personal and then find out if they do it locally.

If I live there, I give there!

I tend to shy away from some of the “big” charities because times they have huge administrative expenses and only a fraction of their donations actually go towards the hard that needs to get done. I’m not saying this is always the but a great place to do your homework can be found www.charitynavigator.org

often small work case, here:

With the holiday season upon us, I tend to focus on local food drives as well as toy drives for children and families in need. Toy’s For Tots is one of those “big” organizations but with a very local impact. Every October, November and December, The U.S. Marine Corps collects new, unwrapped toys, and distribute those toys as Christmas gifts to needy children in the community in which the campaign is conducted. They have boots on the ground in the tri-county area and are ready to put smiles on the faces of thousands of children in our back yard. On Saturday, December 15 at 9pm, Respectable Street will hold their 6th Annual Toys For Tots Benefit Show. Admission is FREE with a new unwrapped toy. Bands on the bill this season include: Lavola, The Wrong, Ribbon Dancer and Raggy Monster. Visit the url below to find additional local collection sites: www.west-palm-beach-fl.toysfortots.org by Vaughan Dugan


Saturday, December 1

CUPCAKE BURLESQUE @ Respectable Street EDDIE VEDDER @ Broward Center SEVENDUST @ Culture Room

INSTAGALLERY Art Show @ Ink & Pistons Tattoo

BARSTOOL BLACKOUT PARTY @ Revolution Live DRFAMEUS, SIR CHARLES, BEAT THIEF INC @ Funky Buddha THE SHIMMY SHAKE REVUE BURLESQUE @ 5 Points Lounge LEE FIELDS & THE EXPRESSIONS, KETCHY SHUBY, DJ Action Pat @ The Stage BLS & COUNTY GRIND NIGHT COLLAB @ Green Room OUT OF AIR, 2 BRAIN, NO ONE’S HERO then at 10pm SARA SCULLY, UNDER COVER, LINGO @ Swampgrass Willys TONY TOUCH + MR. V @ The Vagabond KILLBILLIES @ O’Shea’s Irish Pub HARD RICHARDS @ Dada BLOWTORCH SODOMY, MOIRAE, AND THE KINGDOM FELL, AS THE WORLD WEEPS, THE CONTINUUM SHIFT, SPECTRUM, SHADOWHEART @ Churchill’s Pub JEFF HARDING @ Kirbys REDMOUTH, BLACK WEATHER SHAMAN, LOS BASTARDOS MAGNIFICOS, COONDOGGIN OUTLAWS @ Propaganda

Sunday, December 2

NAPALM DEATH, MUNICIPAL WASTE @ Grand Central JASON CARDINAL @ Dada

Monday, December 3

THE MIAMI JAZZ JAM & THEATRE DE UNDERGROUND @ Churchill’s Pub FLOW TRIBE @ Funky Buddha SPRED THE DUB @ Longboards RACHEL ANDES @ Dada RECKLESS MONDAYS, RECKLESS DAMES BURLESQUE TROUPE feat: @ Propaganda

Tuesday, December 4

ANTI-ART BECOMES ART @ Churchill’s Pub POETRY SLAM @ Dada JEFF HARDING @ Square Grouper INFLUX TUESDAYS- ELECTRO/HOUSE @ Propaganda

Wednesday, December 5

REDMOUTH @ 5 Points Lounge RIOT WEDNESDAYS W/ KOFFIN VARNISH @ Green Room HOLY GHOST TENT REVIVAL @ Dada ACOUSTIC SHOWCASE @ Propaganda

Thursday, December 6

GIRLS ROCK NIGHT W/RADIOBOXER, KILL MAMA, THE NEW, SEXUAL SIDE FX, THE VON @ Churchill’s Pub CANNIBAL CORPSE, MISERY INDEX, HOUR OF PENANCE, ABIOTIC @ Grand Central

UNSTOPPABLE DEATH MACHINES @ Sweat Records

OSHEAS’S CHRISTMAS PARTY, KILBILLIES @ O’Shea’s Irish Pub JOEY HARKUM, RUNDOWNTOWN, BEAR IN MIND @ Propaganda

Friday, December 7

UNSTOPPABLE DEATH MACHINES @ Superchief Gallery @ Catalina Hotel

BLACK TAXI @ Respectable Street MERCHANDISE, LIL DAGGERS, TEE PEE @ Churchill’s Pub PAPADOSIO, GREENWISE LOUNGE @ Culture Room THE DRIP, BONNIE RIOT, D.V.N.O., RAGGY MONSTER @ Propaganda CHROMATICS, PRINCE RAMA @ Gusman Center BUSHWOOD @ 5 Points Lounge 900 SECONDS @ O’Shea’s LOCAL CONTRABAND, THE BAD NOTES @ Swampgrass Willys BELLES @ The Vagabond JEFF HARDING @ WORLD OF BEER CLEMATIS

December 6-9

ART BASEL @ Miami

December 8 & 9

UR1 FESTIVAL @ Bayfront Park

Saturday, December 8

THE RIOT ACT, CASEY HOPKINS DUO, THE VIOLET WEST @ Respectable Street

DAN HOSKER FEST DAY 1 feat. POSTFACE, TONGUES OF THE HEARTWORM, SCARECROW JENKINS, BRIAN FRANKLIN, MARK DUBIN, RENE ALVAREZ, JIM CAMACHO, TO BE HATED, SHAVED HAMSTER, MR ENTERTAINMENT, BOISE BOB, CHARLIE PICKETT, HUMBERT and MORE! @ Churchills Pub BLUE SKY DRIVE @ Native Florida Tap Room SKINNY JIMMY & THE STINGRAYS @ Dada AK1200 @ Propaganda THE RED SCARE, IMPERIUM. Then @ 10pm OVER 21 SHOW with JUNE BUG, THE WEIRD @ Swampgrass Willys THE FRENCH EXPRESS @ The Vagabond GIRLFRIEND MATERIAL @ O’Shea’s Irish Pub

Sunday, December 9

DAN HOSKER FEST DAY 2 WITH RAT BASTARD, KENNY MILLIONS, ED WILCOX, XELA ZAID, NONDOR, JAMESON WILLIAMS, STEVE BRISTOL, HOSKA and TONS MORE! @ Churchill’s Pub

SUM 41 @ Culture Room

DAVE EARLEY’S “LAKE WORTH VINYL PROJECT” OPENING @ Top 5 Records COMEDY SPECIAL @ Dada

Monday, December 10

SPRED THE DUB @ Longboards RECKLESS MONDAYS, RECKLESS DAMES BURLESQUE TROUPE @ Propaganda CHRIS MICHAUD @ Dada THE MIAMI JAZZ JAM & THEATRE DE UNDERGROUND @ Churchill’s Pub

Tuesday, December 11

NIGHT OF THE WEIRDS: NORMADS, CRUCIAL TAUNT, WHOORISH BOORISH, BALLSPARKS, GLOOP, NICK KLEIN, BOILS AND GOYLES, HAOCHI WAVES, PSYCLONE RANGER, ROOVER HOOK, U SAID THAT THE LAST TIME, TOGNA & TYROGNA “PICKLED MEATS” BOLOGNA, DIM PAST, PAIGE FLASH, ASIF FAROOQ FINE ART GUN SHOW @ Churchill’s Pub OPEN MIC @ Dada INFLUX TUESDAYS- ELECTRO/HOUSE @ Propaganda

Wednesday, December 12

ZEN THE BAND, DYSLEXIC POSTCARDS, DRAWING BORED, THE MIDNIGHT HOUR, KEITH KENNY & JACK LITMAN @ Churchill’s Pub KILLMAMA @ Green Room HEAVY PETS @ Dada

Thursday, December 13

DADA BAZAAR @ Dada MICHAEL GRAVES (OF THE MISFITS), THE RIOT AGENTS, SHADOW REBORN @ Churchill’s Pub THE FUNKY NUGGETS @ Propaganda

Friday, December 14

BRAD BARTON REALITY THIEF @ Dada SWEET CHARIOTS @ Longboards

TORCHE, HOLLY HUNT RELEASE SHOW, POST TEENS, THE TUNNEL @ Churchill’s Pub SUPERHEROES SAVE THE HOLIDAYS/ SMASH-CON @ Green Room TWO WAY TIE @ Swampgrass Willys KILBILLIES @ O’Shea’s Irish Pub MICHAEL GRAVES (of The Misfits) @ Propaganda

Saturday, December 15

TOYS FOR TOTS BENEFIT: LAVOLA, RAGGY MONSTER, THE WRONG, RIBBON DANCER @ Respectable Street BUTCHERS @ Dada

YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT: ART SHOW w. BEN PACHTER, JAH LINX, NIKKI DETOURBUTTERFLY SARAIVA, RENDA WRITER and MANY MORE, Music by MONTAGE & THE ASTROKATS @ 1310 Gallery

THE HIP ABDUCTION @ Funky Buddha DJ NEEDLEZ: ROCK THE MIC @ Propaganda SPEEDFREEK PRESENTS: PIG DESTROYER, MARUTA, GOD HARVEST, PRIAPUS, IMPLOSIVE DISGORGANCE @ Churchill’s Pub NEW N USED, BLACK FINGER, MONTY WARREN, THE MOBILE HOMIES @ Swampgrass Willys FISH HEAD SOUP @O’Shea’s Irish Pub

Sunday, December 16

LIZZY PITCH @ Dada NEW FOUND GLORY @ Culture Room DOWNTOWN OPEN MARKET @ Boca Royal Palm Place THEY EAT THEIR OWN GOD @ Churchill’s Pub THE RED JUMPSUIT APPARATUS, JUNIOR DOCTOR, BET ME IM LYING, EVERSAY @ Propaganda

Monday, December 17

SPRED THE DUB @ Longboards TRIVIA @ Dada THE MIAMI JAZZ JAM & THEATRE DE UNDERGROUND @ Churchill’s Pub


RECKLESS MONDAYS, RECKLESS DAMES BURLESQUE TROUPE @ Propaganda

OLYMPUS @ Propaganda

Tuesday, December 18

AKIL THE MC, BIG BLU HOUSE BAND, ASKULTURA, LOS BASTARDOS MAGNIFICOS, SIMPL, AND MROE @ Churchill’s Pub

BIKINI JAZZ NIGHT @ Churchill’s Pub OPEN MIC @ Dada INFLUX TUESDAYS- ELECTRO/HOUSE @ Propaganda

Wednesday, December 19

ASTROKATS @ Green Room HEAVY PETS @ Dada SPOKEN WORD @ Propaganda LIZZY PITCH, KAT C.H.R. & MORE @ Churchill’s Pub

Thursday, December 20

Sunday, December 30

Monday, December 31

NYE BLOCK PARTY @ Clematis Street

NEW YEARS EVE PARTY: SWEET CHARIOTS @ O’Shea’s Irish Pub NEW YEARS EVE BASH @ Churchill’s Pub

1ST ANNUAL NEY YEARS EVE J STREET BLOCK PARTY @ Propaganda

FALL OF OLYMPUS @ Respectable Street HATCHA @ The Vagabond YEAH CAT, MORNING FATTY @ Propaganda THE ROCKAPOCALYPSE @ Churchill’s Pub

Tuesday, January 1

Friday, December 21

Thursday, January 3

HURLY BURLY @ Respectable Street THE STARTING LINE @ Revolution Live END OF THE WORLD PARTY @ Green Room FUNKY NUGGETS @ Swampgrass Willys GIRLFRIEND MATERIAL @ O’Shea’s Irish Pub

NERDCORE FANDOM ART SHOW @ Ink & Pistons Tattoo SYMBOLS @ Respectable Street

HOLY SHIP PRE PARTY @ Revolution Live

JENSEN SERF COMPANY, BEACH DAY, GIRLS ON THE BEACH, TBA @ Churchill’s Pub

THIS HEART ELECTRIC CD RELEASE @ Churchill’s Pub

Friday, January 4

Saturday, December 22

Saturday, January 5

GRENADE FACE, GUNFIGHT, GET THE AMMO, THE MUGGLES, TALLY HO @ Propaganda

DRTY LVRS RELEASE PARTY @ Respectable Street

FORT LAUDERDALE SANTA CON @ Green Room FALL OF OLYMPUS, RESPONSE NEGATIVE, ADAGE @ Swampgrass Willys FANG, NO FRAUD, POWERHOUSE, TO BE HATED, OUT OF SORTS, AND FWA @ Churchill’s Pub XXX-MAS PARTY: THE HARD RICHARDS @ Propaganda

Sunday, January 23

JASON CARDINAL @ Dada JINGLE BELL ROCK METAL FEST: THE STONE HEADS, TABULA RASA, INFROFUSE, ONE MIND, NOTICE, DAVID SAUL &THE SOUTHERN GENTLEMEN, SIGNAL DOWN, XXI CENTURY ROMANCE & THE HOMELAND CONSPIRACY @ Churchill’s Pub

Monday, December 24

THE CHURCH: NIGHTMARE BEFORE XMAS @ The Vagabond RECKLESS MONDAYS, RECKLESS DAMES BURLESQUE TROUPE @ Propaganda THE MIAMI JAZZ JAM & THEATRE DE UNDERGROUND @ Churchill’s Pub

Tuesday, December 25

DESTROYIO CHRISTMAS SPECIAL @ Churchill’s Pub INFLUX TUESDAYS- ELECTRO/HOUSE @ Propaganda

ADOLESCENTS, YOUTH BRIGADE, THE VICES, UNIT SIX, RIOT AGENTS @ Respectable Street SATIRE & CONTROVERSY: AN EVENING WITH OLIVER STONE @ Broward Center

HARD RICHARDS @ Dada EMILY KOPP HOMECOMING SHOW @ Green Room

Sunday, January 6

MEDESKI, MARTIN & WOOD @ Revolution Live

Wednesday, January 9

MELVIN SEALS, JGB @ Revolution Live

Thursday, January 10

THE DARKNESS @ Revolution Live

Friday, January 11

DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL @ Bienes Center For The Arts SWEET CHARIOTS @ Longboards

Saturday, January 12

THE CIVIL WARS @ The Fillmore moe. @ Revolution Live

Sunday, January 13

FEMI KUTI & THE POSITIVE FORCE @ Grand Central

Saturday, January 19

Wednesday, December 26 BLACK JACKET @ Churchill’s Pub

SUNSHINE BOCA BLUES FEST @ Mizner Amp GALACTIC @ Revolution Live PINK MARTINI @ The Fillmore

Thursday, December 27

Sunday, January 20

KILBILLIES @ O’Shea’s Irish Pub SOUTH SIDE DUB @ Propaganda THE VICE METAL SHOWCASE @ Churchill’s Pub

Monday, January 21

BAND IN HEAVEN @ Respectable Street

Friday, December 28

PAUL GEREMIA @ Dada TARANTINO XMAS @ Green Room BUNGLED & BOTCHED, SOUTH SIDE DUB @ Swampgrass Willys THE CASEY HOPKINS DUO @ Propaganda LEFT OVER CRACK @ Churchill’s Pub GIRLFRIEND MATERIAL @ O’Shea’s Irish Pub

Saturday, December 29

THE RESOLVERS @ Arts Park SOJA @ Revolution Live THE SOLUTION, SLAP, FIRESIDE PROPHETS @ Swampgrass Willys MURDER IN MOTION, SALO, MASTICATOR, FALL OF

Downtown Open Market @ Boca Royal Palm Place EMILIE AUTUMN @ Revolution Live

Saturday, February 2

RETRO INDIE MARKET @ Boynton Woman’s Club

Tuesday, February 5 THE XX @ The Fillmore

Tuesday, February 12

FLOGGING MOLLY @ Revolution Live

Thursday, February 14

BRIAN REGAN @ Barbara B Mann Performing Arts Hall

February, 15-17

AURA MUSIC & ARTS FESTIVAL @ Suwannee Music Park

Friday, February 15

SWEET & SOUR, MY BLOODY VALENTINE ART SHOW @ Ink & Pistons Tattoo

Saturday, February 16

GRACE POTTER & THE NOCTURNALS @ The Fillmore BRIAN REGAN @ Maxwell C King Center for the Performing Arts

Sunday, February 17

BRIAN REGAN @ Coral Springs Center for the Arts DOWNTOWN OPEN MARKET @ Boca Royal Palm Place

Monday, February 25 PINK @ BB&T Center

Tuesday, February 26

DARK STAR ORCHESTRA @ Revolution Live


AMANDA’S HONEYS The enclosed painting entitled “Pure Honey” fits well within the realm of 24-year-old Palm Beach painter Amanda Valdes’ body of work. The lithe female figures, limbs contorted expressively in play, hint at a backstory that only becomes clear once you look past the bright colors and pop art composition. “There was almost this sexuality with it in terms of the honey and the girls in bee costumes,” Valdes says. “It’s bright, it’s colorful, but there’s something more seedy going on behind the scenes, which I love to play up on.” What’s atypical about the piece “Pure Honey” is that it features two figures, whereas Valdes’ works usually feature an isolated waifish female figure who morosely dominates the canvas in the nude or dressed in gothic haute couture. The works seem immediately easy to digest, but a closer look at the paintings reveals more depth, the commentary of the artist’s expression. “Even with the brighter colors, there’s something darker going on, there’s an air of mystery,” Valdes explains. “The idea is that everyone you meet comes from their own past. It’s rare that you meet someone who doesn’t have something that they’ve overcome, and so do I. Every single one of them has a little bit of me in there somewhere.” Valdes herself is an attractive, slender brunet, so it’s not surprising that the waifs with curves in her work are somewhat autobiographical. She’s only done a couple of male paintings, including a portrait of Vlad the Impaler for a series that’s hung at Monarchy Nightclub in Palm Beach, because she finds that the female form has more universal and personal appeal. “There are certain things that society sees, what the eye is drawn to in terms of figures. They’re thin, but I love them curvy with big hips and big boobs. I love the hourglass form. That’s what the eye is drawn to. The female form is just very attractive in my opinion.” Currently Valdes is too busy to take on many new projects because she’s planning her January wedding. Examples of her work, however, are on display in various venues throughout South Florida. She has a mural on the wall outside of Howleys in West Palm Beach, paintings on display at Dada in Delray Beach, Vagabond nightclub in Miami and Strand Salon in Delray. She says she’s executed commissioned paintings for Playboy bunnies, but she won’t name names, and she created paintings for Vanilla Ice and appeared on his DIY Network show The Vanilla Ice Project. When Respectable Street renovated its interior for its 25th Anniversary in August, the second mural that Valdes made for the venue was painted over. “It was up for a few years,” she says. “It was a little bit of a bummer that it wasn’t there anymore, but the great thing about Respectables is that it’s an ever-evolving place.” Valdes’ work will be on display and available to take home at Bear and Bird Gallery’s “Small Stuff 6” exhibit, which runs from from November 25 through January 12. The gallery is located inside of Tate’s Comics at 4566 N. University Dr., Lauderdhill. by Courtney Hambright


HOSKER SCHOLARSHIP FUND & TRIBUTE REUNITES BEST SOFLA BAND OF ALL TIME... POSTFACE! Saturday, December 8 and Sunday, December 9 there will be lots of bands playing at Churchill’s Hideaway in Miami. How’s that any different from any other weekend at Churchill’s? This time all the bands will be playing in tribute to Dan Hosker. Dan passed away August 11, 2012. Dan’s sister Chris has started a musical scholarship fund in Dan’s name that will benefit needy students who demonstrate a passion for music. December 9 would have been Dan’s 47th birthday. Two nights of music. The first features more traditional bands and the second more experimental and noise music. Dan was truly a glue guy for the community and a terrific collaborator. A multi-insrumentalist with zero ego, Dan only cared about what was best for the song he was working on. His legacy is well represented by friends, like long time collaborators Steven Bristol, Rat Bastard, Xela Zaid, and Nondor who will perform on Sunday along with everyone’s favorite vulgar grandpa, Kenny Millions. Postface is also getting back together for our brand of weirdness, spontaneity, and rocking. We started playing around the same time as The Holy Terrors (just one of Dan’s early bands) and crossed paths many times on the stages and floors of South Florida’s numerous, lost and sometimes forgotten venues. One of my favorite songwriters of all time, and Dan’s former bandmate, Hal Spector and his group Boise Bob and His Backyard Band is scheduled to play as is South Florida legend Charlie Pickett, and Hialeah’s answer to the Beatles... Humbert. Watch for look inspired sets as well from To Be Hated, Shaved Hamster and Tongues of Heartworm. View the full lineup and schedule on the PureHoney event calendar or online at www.churchillspub.com by Stephen Wolfie Johnson

Ed. note: Title by publisher, not Wolfie;)



PUREHONEY 16