Talking to Kids About Substance Use

By Cassie Johnson

The long-awaited summer vacation is here! Pool parties, sleeping in, and summer camps are in full swing. Unfortunately, so are situations where children and teens are home alone during the day while parents are at work. In natural curiosity, they may experiment with alcohol, illegal drugs, or medications within their own home.

This is the name of a program sponsored by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). Parents and caregivers of children and teens are encouraged to start talking to their children at a young age about underage drinking and substance use. Approaching children before they are exposed to drugs or alcohol could make a huge difference in their decisions.

According to SAMHSA, approximately 3,300 kids as young as 12 try marijuana each day. About 10-12 percent of pre-teens admit to trying alcohol, but by age 15 that number jumps to an astounding 50

“The initiative gives parents five conversation goals to have and provides parent resources to assist in the conversations,” said Cynthia Turner, Certified Prevention Specialist and Program Director of the Regional Prevention Center at Four Rivers Behavioral Health. “There is even a free app for Talk. They Hear You that guides you through the questions to ask. It helps caregivers learn the do’s and don’ts of talking about underage substance use while making suggestions to keep the conversation going.”

Over 80% of kids ages 10-18 say their parents are the leading influence on their decision whether to try alcohol or not. Send a clear, strong message that underage drinking and drug abuse is not acceptable. Set the boundaries and expectations you have. Showing honesty and compassion rather than anger or impatience is also important. Remember, it’s a two-way conversation - let them ask questions and express their thoughts.

Young people are more likely to listen when they know you’re on their side. They may ask Why? Reinforce your parental why – your biggest concern is their happiness and overall wellbeing. Show them you care about their health, future, and success. Explain a few of the many health risks associated with substance use. The conversation will go much better if your child knows you have valid reasons against such behavior.

Kids don’t have all the facts, but you can! They don’t understand the severe dangers that come from experimenting with drugs or alcohol. Establish yourself as a trustworthy, reliable source to get information from. You do not want them to get false information online, so give them the correct info yourself. Make sure to keep communication open so they know they can ask questions freely.

Make your child aware that you know what they’re doing and will discourage any risky behavior. Be involved, not nosy. Subtlety is key. Know who they hang out with, what they look at on their phones, social media accounts, etc. Trust is essential. You don’t want your child to automatically assume you think they’re dishonest. When kids know their behaviors aren’t hidden, they’re more likely to make the right decisions out of respect towards their parents. Nobody wants to be caught red-handed, and knowing their parents will disapprove or be disappointed in them means more to a child than we may realize.

Peer pressure is a powerful thing. Your child may not experiment with drugs or alcohol at home, but that doesn’t mean a friend won’t convince them to. Talk with your child about what to do and how to answer if, or when, that situation occurs. Strategize and have a plan in place, such as texting a code word to a parent or guardian. Send a group text to both parents, and two people. This way, at least one person should see it right away and respond with help. Practice multiple ways of saying no thanks and other phrases to buy them some time until the cavalry arrives. “Dinner time is a great time to initiate these conversations,” said Turner. “The Dinner Table Project is a program that encourages families to sit down at least once a week and have a technology-free meal. Subscribe at thedinnertableproject.org for monthly newsletters. You will receive easy recipes, games, and age-appropriate conversation starters for around the dinner table.”

Remember, keep it low-key. You don’t have to fit everything into one talk, so plan to have as many short talks as necessary so as not to overwhelm your child. Research suggests that one of the most important factors in healthy child development is a strong, open relationship with a parent. Even when we think they aren’t listening, our children hear us. For more information and tips, visit samhsa.gov/ underage-drinking. 