FILMS

Film Reviews by Jordan Adcock

HOUSE OF GUCCI

FILM OF THE MONTH - Star Rating: 4/5

In House of Gucci, the scandalous based-on-real-life drama of a wannabe heiress to a wannabe family dynasty, is the embodiment of fashion as incredibly serious business and also more than faintly ridiculous; maybe it’s appropriate that the film wildly swings between tones, it’s certainly never boring during its two and a half hours. Lady Gaga builds on the promise she showed in her leading turn in A Star Is Born with this even more confident performance as Patrizia Reggiani works for her father before encountering Adam Driver playing the socially awkward Maurizio Gucci, actual heir to the eponymous fashion brand. Their subsequent relationship survives the suspicions of Gucci’s father (Jeremy Irons, with an even more suspicious Italian accent) but is tested much harder as they ascend to run Gucci itself. It’s safe to say the ending made global headlines but I won’t spoil it for anyone too young or hermit-like to know it already.

Director Ridley Scott, whose last film The Last Duel unfortunately disappeared without trace in cinemas barely a couple of months ago (see the December issue for that one), is on reliably assured form showcasing the Gucci’s glamorous surroundings, striking outfits and seedy infighting as their global ambitions tear the family apart. There’s a whole line of strong actors on enjoy for more than a catwalk appearance, including Jared Leto in an extensive makeup job and a performance just the right side of camp as Paolo Gucci, the family’s poor relation with far more ambition than actual inspiration. ✪

LICORICE PIZZA SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME ENCANTO

Star Rating: 4/5 Star Rating: 3.5/5 Star Rating: 2.5/5

Licorice Pizza is yet more well-acted, ambitious drama from writer-director Paul Thomas Anderson, known for his sprawling masterpieces like Boogie Nights and There Will Be Blood, yet his newest film is also one of his more esoteric. A story of an unlikely couple in 1970s California: Gary, a 15-year-old schoolboy trying to be above his years and the impulsive Alana, a 25-year-old photographer’s assistant not acting her age, their spontaneous friendship, business partnership… and maybe even a relationship? It convincingly portrays and evokes its setting with a great contemporary soundtrack and compelling performances from the two lead actors. Cooper Hoffman, (son of the late Philip Seymour Hoffman) and Alana Haim make you empathise in spite of scattered plotting and (hardly unwelcome) interjections from more famous actors like Sean Penn and Bradley Cooper. ✪ No Way Home is the best of Spider-Man’s films in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, a redemption story in several ways and easily the MCU’s best in a while. Whatever the (manifold) flaws of the MCU recently, its sheer success and clout allows it here to pull together Spider-Man’s cinematic history in ways unthinkable even a few years ago. Peter Parker’s attempt to erase the consequences from the previous film’s ending leads to inter-dimensional damage and familiar villains from earlier Spider-Man film series showing up. What could easily be a gimmick instead takes care with the characters, in many cases better than their original films did, while also giving Tom Holland the most compelling drama to work with as his Spider-Man so far. ✪ The 60th animated feature from what is now Walt Disney Animation Studios is as visually dazzling as can be expected from their computer animation while lacking enchantment in other aspects. In what’s a very slight story with lots of characters but few surprises, the Madrigal family live in a magical house in Colombia and are themselves gifted with delightful magic powers. Well, apart from main character Mirabel, whose struggles to fit in threaten to tear the whole house down. There’s lots of very hectic songs filled with character exposition. None of them are bad, they’re pretty diverting along with the equally busy, colourful visuals, but they don’t feel integral as all the setup fails to come together in a meaningful way besides a vague notion of family understanding and unity. ✪

THE MATRIX RESURRECTIONS

Star Rating: 1/5

The brief recognition of seeing Keanu Reeves in his most iconic role again is the best thing about this terrible return to The Matrix, nearly two decades after the original films. Like Disney’s trilogy of Star Wars sequels before it, Resurrections rehashes a lot of the classic Matrix’s plot, worldbuilding and action, only much worse, while all of its newer ideas only denigrate the original by association. Morpheus and Agent Smith are back, just without their iconic actors (Laurence Fishburne and Hugo Weaving), leaving a hollowness far more profound than anything in this sequel. It’s both lazy and convinced of how smart it is, including all its grating “meta” references to disappointing reboots and sequels that make the whole thing feel like it’s expensively trolling its audience. ✪

Super Cupra

ADAM TUDOR-LANE reviews the Cupra Formentor

Cupra, the young, hip brand by SEAT. Its first-ever bespoke model is here, the Formentor. Just don’t tell them that my 67-year-old father really wants one. Wrong demographic.

Thinking that Cupra was meant to be a sporty brand, it’s odd that the least powerful engine is this 1.5 litre turbo, producing 147 BHP. Not slow, not rapid, but it’s half the oomph of the most potent model. Prices start at £28,895.

Yes, it’s yet another crossover; everyone loves them…right? This one does however look slightly different. It’s wide, low at the front and looks mean; there’s an LED strip that runs right across the rear to give it a unique light signature, although there’s still a third brake light which is odd.

It’s certainly more stylish than a Nissan Qashqai and sleeker than the Hyundai Tucson.

Drive wise, the Formentor is firm, as you’d expect. It matches the looks and gives it a slightly sporting dynamic worthy of those svelte lines. It still does an excellent job of soaking up the lumps and bumps but becomes more jittery at slower speeds.

With a 0-62 time of 8.6 seconds, it’s nippy enough for most; this one had the optional DSG gearbox, which didn’t miss a beat over 300 odd miles. It picked up pace when I needed it and became an eco-cruiser over those longer jaunts.

MPG came in at a respectable 39 over a mix of A-roads, motorway and town driving. The lowest official figure is 41.5, which is probably doable over a long journey.

Jumping inside and the SEAT heritage is clear to see; the dark trim is brightened by a few bronze touches here and there. It’s all very cocooning; the low seating position also makes you feel as hunkered down as the Formentor looks.

A super large 12.3-inch touchscreen handles everything, and I mean everything. You won’t find any heating controls below, nor a tactile dial for the volume. For me, it’s something manufacturers should avoid, as it becomes a faff to do something as easy as demisting the windscreen.

You have to take your eyes off the road for far too long while you prod and poke at menus. A touch-sensitive bar enables you to turn the heating up and down, but trying to do so while on the move can be hit and miss – the same goes for anything on the touchscreen to be honest.

FACTS AT A GLANCE

Top Speed: 127 MPH Performance: 0-62 in 8.6 secs Power: 147 BHP Economy: 39 MPG

Rear seat leg and headroom is decent considering the coupe-esque lines; shorter passengers or children won’t be able to look out of the windows though, as they’re incredibly high up and small.

The same goes for the rear window; it’s tiny. Luckily you have a reversing camera to stop you from hitting things at wheel arch height.

Boot space is easy to access thanks to a low, lip-less opening. It measures in at 450 litres, but that shrinks if you opt for the four-wheel-drive model and even further for the hybrid version.

Cupra’s Formentor feels more like a hatchback than an SUV; its lower centre of gravity and wider track are to thank for that. It gets a ton of looks while out on the road, so that helps set it apart from the rest of the monotonous crossover crowd. Overall, it’s a yes from me.