HORNET’S NEST Proctor Academy | February 28, 2024 | Vol. 9 | Issue 5 I Just Want to See My Friends By Griffin Stewart
What happened to dorm visitation? This is the question everyone is asking - well, not everyone, primarily students are asking - but still, what happened to it? In previous years, dorm visitation was permitted every day of the week, but now, we only have the weekend. This led me to look in the Student Handbook and ask students their views on the situation. To start the investigation, I first looked in the Student Handbook (formerly GreenBook). When skimming through the dense pages of rules and regulations, I stumbled upon my first lead. On page 26, under Boarding Students Expectations, it reads, “Dorm Residents may have guests during the following times: • Weekdays from 6:15 PM - 7:15 PM • Weekends: at the completion of afternoon activities until 10:25 PM on Saturday and from 11:00 AM- 7:15 PM on Sunday.” That led me to start thinking. Why have we not been following the rules written down in the handbook? We heard announcements about changes to dorm visitation this fall, but it seems that the current stated rules are heavily biased toward faculty and leave students in the dark. When talking to dorm parents and faculty about their view of visitation, they say something similar to, “Other boarding schools don’t have weekday visitation.” I never thought I would see the day Proctor tried to become another school. I’ve known this school to lead the way for other schools by doing what other schools can’t and won’t do. Why should we stop visitation? The administration announced in assembly this fall that this is an issue of liability that couldn’t be overlooked. But, cutting off dorm visitation is not getting drugs off campus or stopping kids from making stupid decisions. It’s stopping students from being social and creating a stronger sense of community. I came to Proctor because it wasn’t like other schools; if I wanted other schools, I would have gone to Holderness or New Hampton. I came here for the community, and it seems that is being taken away from us.
who thrive with only a friend or two, and those people like myself get anxious going to the Wise and stuff and would much rather be able to have dorm visitation. This new restriction on visitation has not helped the students but only the teachers, and it shows… These new restrictions don’t seem to come from a place of concern for the students cause if teachers really knew how to help, it wouldn’t come down to isolating those students that are more introverted. Instead, it seems to come from lack of teachers wanting to supervise, causing the students to suffer.”
Seeking student’s perspectives, I sent a survey out to every student to find out information on the student’s mental health and opinions on visitation. From the survey and 93 responses, over 89% of students report their mental health has gone down in the winter, and even more because of the lack of visitation. We are told that no visitations allow for the dorms to become a better and more tightly-knit community, which it has in its defense. However, Proctor as a whole is a community. Students, teachers, and faculty are all one big community. Yet, having no dorm visitation has weakened the larger community. The lack of visitation keeps students from creating deeper, more meaningful bonds with each other. This past term alone, I haven’t been able to see some friends another dorms at all because there is no space to hang out. Students are tired and frustrated with no visitation. This new rule has created a deep resentment in students towards faculty and the people who made the rule. This is not how it should be and not how it has to be.
“There is all this talk about having consistency around campus in regard to the rules and guidelines. Is it correct to say that … (having) visitation taken away is affecting us in a negative way? The answer is yes. We already have little time to spend with our friends, especially in our own personal spaces. I understand the concern about students doing stuff and disobeying the rules, but at the same time this is a COLLEGE PREP SCHOOL. There are no visitation rules in college and I think that if Proctor shows some openness to letting students learn how to manage their time by themselves and be responsible, I think that it could be beneficial to everyone. All in all, I think that it should be opened up to every night, but it [should] be the DORM PARENTS DECISION on if it is common room only or in room as well.”
Here are three unnamed students’ thoughts on the matter from the survey. “Not having visitation in the winter has definitely increased my depression and made me feel more lonely. There’s a difference between people who enjoy going out with friends and hanging out in big groups and then those
“It’s truly terrible. Between classes, sports, and homework, my life is decently stressful, and adding on tight restrictions on something as simple as human interaction is very detrimental to students mental health. Although I understand that the risks of open visitation are not zero, the benefits of in person interactions far outweigh the possible risks. The fact that the issue of visitation hasn’t been solved is truly surprising to me, as I feel that every student has had a bad experience with it.” To the deans, teachers, dorm parents, and even the board of trustees. Every stu-