TCFV Feb - March 2024

Edition No. 270 Feb – March 2024

The Compassionate Friends Victoria Magazine Supporting Parents, Siblings and Grandparents after a Child Dies

Posh Bags for Lads Death & Sorry Business Grief at Easter Join us in making a difference!

Walk or run with us to honour your loved ones.

24 HOUR Grief Support Phone 9888 4944 - National Number 1300 064 068 Phones Staffed by Bereaved Parents, Siblings & Grandparents www.tcfv.org.au

Grieve The opportunity to mourn the deaths of our children/siblings/grandchildren - and examine our often-difficult and confusing “new normal” - in safe, non-judging environments.

Heal Through our grief work, we move towards reaching an improved place of mental, physical, and emotional functioning.

Grow While grief remains a part of our lives, we gradually identify new meaning, insight and joy in our daily living and relationships. We take the legacy of loved ones lost confidently into the future with us.

The Compassionate Friends Victoria is part of worldwide organisation, which was founded in England in 1969 and established in Victoria in 1978. It is a mutual assistance, self-help organisation offering friendship and understanding to families following the death of a child, sibling or grandchild of any age and from any cause. The primary purpose is to assist them in the rebuilding of their lives after death of their child, sibling or grandchild and to support their efforts to achieve emotional and mental health.

TCFV Staff

TCFV Membership

Alex Hamilton - CEO Administration Accounts Officer: Paul Gadsden Centre Coordinator: Jenny Galati Groups Coordinator: Andrew McNess Community Education and Communications Coordinator: Jane Moschetti Sibling Coordinator: John Brown IT: Jesse Bendel Centre & Project Coordinator: Di Russell Casual: Sue Brown

Being a member of The Compassionate Friends Victoria (TCFV) enables you to access many vital support services and attend social activities whilst demonstrating your support for a society that is aware and understands the impact of grief and bereavement following the death of a child, sibling or grandchild.

TCFV Membership is now open to both the bereaved and non-bereaved. Following an initial complimentary membership period, bereaved members have the option to remain.

• Full Member ($55 pa incl GST) or • Limited Keep In Touch Membership ($22 pa incl GST).

Associate membership is open to any non-bereaved individual or organisation who knows about our important work and wants to show their support in a meaningful way.

The non-bereaved membership levels include • Associate Individual ($55 pa incl GST) or • Associate Organisation ($110 pa incl GST).

The full details about all our different membership levels and their benefits can be found in the new Membership section of our website https://www.compassionatefriendsvictoria.org.au/ being-a-member-of-tcfv/.

If you have any questions about TCFV membership, please call our office on 03 9888 4034.

Board President: Kevin Purvis Vice President: Amanda Bond Secretary: Claire Kuhnell Treasurer: Vincent Wai Sibling Rep: Harriet Clegg Board Member: Bruce Houghton Board Member: Sonia Aberl Regional Member: Robyn Reeve The Compassionate Friends Victoria Patron: Rhonda Galbally AC

Front Cover: Art by the truly wonderful Bettina Baldassari. Please see page 18, “Mourning in Summer”.

24 HOUR Grief Support– Available on Telephone 03 9888 4944 / 1300 064 068 Bereaved Drop In Centre Hours 9.30am - 4.30pm Monday to Friday Disclaimer: Unless expressly stated, the views expressed in articles, poetry etc. in this magazine are not necessarily the views of TCFV Board staff or the editorial team. The editor reserves the right to edit any contribution. Permission is given to Editors & Chapter Leaders of The Compassionate Friends to reprint material from the magazine. We request that credit be given to the author & their TCF Chapter.

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Index 2 Board & Staff 3 Index & Notice Board 4 Board Report 5 Grief must obey (Poem) 5 Editor’s Letter 6-7 News from the Centre 8-9 Memorial Candles 10-11 Posh Bags for Lads 12 Books to Read 13 Missing Books 14-15 Death & Sorry Business 16-17 Grief at Easter 18 Mourning in Summer 19 Mens Space & Sibling Connections 20-21 Balancing Grief, Work & Self Care 22-23 Join us in Making a Difference!

24 Men’s Cook & Chat 25 Volunteer Day 26-27 Five Ways That Grief Affected My Reading in 2022 28 Grandparents & Long Time Bereaved Morning Tea 29 Community Education Speaker Training 30-31 TCFV in your Will 32-33 TCFV Support Groups & Social Support Groups 34 On line Support Group & Topics Around Grief 35 Community Noticeboard 36 Thank you Supporters

NOTICE

Contribu tio

BOARD

ns to the

nex

t magazin Articles, p e oetry, artw ork and stories ab out your c hild, siblin grandchil g or d are alw ays requir e d for every edit ion.

If you wo uld like to contribute upcoming to an magazine , please s end to Jane via m ail to: The Edito r, TCFV, PO Box 17 1, Canterbu ry, Vic, 31 26 or email to editor@tc fv.org.au Deadline for the Ap ril/Mag m agazine is 1 March 2024

TCFV Feb-March 3

BOARD MEMBER Report Welcome to this latest edition of the Grieve Heal Grow magazine. For those who don’t know me, I have been involved with The Compassionate Friends Victoria (TCFV) community since my two-year-old son Matthew died in a driveway accident 12 years ago.

I was fortunate enough to have a lovely member of our local community suggest TCFV groups to me and I will never forget walking into my first catch up. What I found was an inspiring group of bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents, generous with their time, willing to authentically share their experiences and provide me with what I was seeking - hope that following such trauma and grief, you can go on and thrive. I remember reading every journal article on grief I could get my hands on at the time and even completed a Psychology degree but nothing I read or studied was quite as valuable as the insights I could gain from this wonderful group of people with lived experience of the loss of a child or grandchild.

Part of my journey has included giving back to this community, which has assisted my healing through providing phone support and now as Vice President of TCFV, a role I am very honoured to hold. I was also recently appointed to the Board of Mental Health Victoria, our peak mental health sector body. This has provided me with additional insight into the state of the mental health system in Victoria and the important reforms that are underway following the Royal Commission into Victoria’s Mental Health system.

One of the key aspects of this reform is acknowledgement of the benefit of peer support and lived and living experience as part of recovery.

(I appreciate ‘recovery’ is an interesting word in the context of the loss of a child: we don’t really ‘recover’.)

In any case, it is really the first time from a policy perspective that the benefit of peer support and lived experience has been formally acknowledged. TCFV will continue to advocate for State Government funding in the upcoming funding round but equally, we are reliant on the amazing volunteers of this organisation, the dedicated staff and the generous donations from the community to ensure this important service can continue to operate.

4 TCFV Feb-March

We have been fortunate to appoint the wonderful Alex Hamilton as CEO of TCFV, and for those who have met Alex, I’m sure you would agree that she is an absolute asset to our community, coupling her own lived experience with her business acumen and compassion.

We are very grateful for her contribution.

If you are interested in volunteering at TCFV, don’t hesitate to contact support@tcfv.org.au . When the time is right, you too might find some healing through additional involvement in TCFV. Amanda Bond Vice President Bereaved Mother of Matthew (2)

Grief Must Obey As I navigate this journey of grief, a path where shadows linger, any solace, all but brief.

So, with your love now, the keeper of my heart, on this journey of grief, I’ll not fall apart.

I try to make sense of this life in the aftermath, of a loss so profound, my broken heart’s epitaph.

For love came first, grief, must obey, because without love’s permission, grief cannot stay.

My aching heart, veiled in mist, longs to stay hidden, the light it resists.

Louise Rees Bereaved mother of Nathan – 24 Forevermore

But as I remain quiet in the midst of the crowd, inside my heart, grief’s voice is ever loud.

It refuses confinement to a preordained story, it demands to be heard, in all its glory.

My story precedes a heart that’s been torn, it comes from a time before grief was born.

The narrative tells the essence of what is lost, revealing the tragedy of loves great cost.

But love is eternal it has no birth, unlike grief, it is not bound to this earth.

Editors Letter Dear Friends Welcome to the latest edition of Grieve Heal Grow. As the sparkle of Christmas lights fade, we’re embracing the start of a new year, acknowledging the challenges it brings without our loved ones by our side. There is a poignant feeling of moving further away from them, another year where no new memories with them will be made. Amidst this ache, hopefully the sunshine and blue skies of summer offer a gentle respite, granting us moments to pause and find solace.

The next holiday of Easter is looming which can be a time for traditional celebrations and family gatherings.

For some, it’s also an opportunity for a holiday, a chance to create new experiences. Personally, I hold fond memories of many Easters in Bright, in Victoria’s High Country, a place I hope to revisit one day. But for now, it remains a bittersweet thought, and still too difficult to face. For ideas on navigating the Easter holiday period, turn to pages 16 and 17.

I love the poem on this page, penned by Louise, one of our dedicated volunteers, a creative person who not only writes poetry but also works wonders with Canva, lending her talents to our TCFV Instagram and Facebook pages. Thanks Louise.

Also, a big thank you is due to Joanna, another of our wonderful volunteers who does all the proof reading for the magazine, helps to source interesting articles and also helps to keep the TCFV library in great shape! Thanks Joanna.

Until next time, take care.

Jane Moschetti Bereaved Mother of Joseph (18)

TCFV Feb-March 5

News from the Centre Obituary for Fr Gerard Dowling OAM (1932 - 2023) After our founders Margaret and Lindsay Harmer lost their son Rhys in a car crash in 1978, they were distraught in their grief. Consequently, together they began The Compassionate Friends Victoria after hearing about this organization, which had begun in the United Kingdom in 1968.

They were assisted greatly in setting up TCFV in Australia by TCF United Kingdom which had been expertly helping many families who had lost a child, sibling, or grandparent.

Margaret and Lindsay, over the next few years, worked tirelessly for the bereaved families in Victoria. They were overwhelmed by the many grieving parents, siblings and grandparents who were also suffering in their grief. In trying to reach so many they contacted organisations, public figures, and radio stations.

One contact Margaret made was with Father Gerard Dowling who was a host at the Melbourne radio station 3UZ (now RSN 927). He was known as “The Family Counsellor” and greatly admired the work the Harmers were doing, so he became a loyal publicist for them.

On his radio program he made many references to TCFV and was a guest speaker at one of our early Annual General Meetings. Over the years and with his contacts he became a very loyal and strong voice, as well as a continuing benefactor for The Compassionate Friends Victoria.

Fr Dowling was a priest for 65 years and on radio for 50 years, from 1973.

We are very admiring of Fr Dowling and grateful for his advocacy over these thirty or more years and it is with regret that we acknowledge his death on 26 November 2023 at Justin Villa Balwyn.

Vale Father Gerard Dowling

“Topics Around Grief”

Discussion Workshops will return in 2024!

Some of the topics to be explored include...

• Spirituality • Early grief • Death of a young child • Grandparents’ grief • Loss of an only child • Grief in the aftermath of suicide • Exploring sibling grief • Do couples grieve differently?

• Men’s group • Rebuilding your life

Thank You

A very big thank you to Geelong Cemeteries Trust for the generous donation of $10,000.

Thank you to Wendy and Ian Haines for the generous donation.

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“Self-Care” Workshops for 2024!

Some of the workshops include...

• Watercolour painting • Knitting • Meditation • Creative writing • Yoga or Tai Chi • Vessels for Emotional Holding • Men’s social outing – virtual golf • Ladies pamper day • Walk, Coffee, Chat Please keep an eye on TCFV social media pages and website for further information. www.tcfv.org.au

MAGAZINE TEAM A big thank you to the entire magazine team for all the articles provided, proofreading, etc. Thank you to the magazine mailout team, Phil, John K., Margaret, Trudi and Yvonne for their help in preparing the Dec/Jan edition ready for posting out to members.

End of Year Catch Ups for the RSL Dinner Group, The Bendigo Group and the Horsham Group

Horsham Group

RSL Dinner Group

Bendigo Group

Calendar of Upcoming Events EVENTS

DATE

LOCATION

Watercolour Painting Workshop

Saturday 17 February

Canterbury Christadelphian Hall

Men’s Cook & Chat

Friday 23 February

TCFV Centre, Canterbury

Walk To Remember

Sunday 25 February

Princes Park, Carlton

Topics Around Grief – Exploring Sibling Grief

Saturday 2 March

TCFV Centre, Canterbury

Sibling Connections BBQ

Friday 15 March

TCFV Centre, Canterbury

Knitting Workshop

Sunday 17 March

TCFV Centre, Canterbury

Long Time Bereaved Morning Tea

Wednesday 10 April

TCFV Centre, Canterbury

Bereaved Grandparents Morning Tea

Wednesday 17 April

TCFV Centre, Canterbury

National Gathering

Friday 18 - Sunday 20 October

Foothills Conference Centre, Mooroolbark

Service Worldwide Candle Lighting Service Volunteer Training

Date Sunday 8 December

Location TBA

Date

Location

Community Education Speaker Training

Saturday 17 & Sunday 18 February

TCFV Centre, Canterbury

Group Leader Training

February & March

Online

Feb – March 2024 Online

Please check the TCFV website closer to the time to see specific dates and arrangements.

To attend please book online at www.tcfv.org.au or call the Centre on (03) 9888 4034.

TCFV Feb-March 7

Christmas Memorial Virtual Candles Heartfelt gratitude to each and every soul who embraced this touching tribute, lighting a virtual candle to honour and cherish the memory of your precious, lost child, sibling, or grandchild.

Together, we’ve not only illuminated our love and remembrance but also raised an incredible $1,525 for TCFV. Your generosity knows no bounds, and we’re deeply touched by your support.

The virtual candles remained aglow until Wednesday, 20 December.

Your kindness and love have made this journey incredibly meaningful. Thank you for being a part of this heartfelt tribute.

Let’s continue to shine light into the world together.

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🌟💖GOLD CANDLES

SILVER CANDLES

Mary, Phillipa, Nicola and Michael Harry in memory of

Sharon O’Dwyer in memory of Mathew O’Dwyer

Sarah Harry

Jenny and Joe Galati in memory of Danielle Galati

Sue Guilfoyle in memory of Norton Guilfoyle

Amanda Presland in memory of Samuel Thomas Presland Holder

Jane, Rob, Harry, and Milly Moschetti in memory of Joseph Thomas Moschetti

Marie Gilbert in memory of Jess Gilbert Susan Quartermain in memory of Linda Quartermain

Pat Burns in memory of Darren Jenny and John Piovesan in memory of Jacqui (Jacs) Anne and Steve Forbes in memory of Lucia Berghella

Rineke Leigh in memory of Chris Watson Dianne Russell in memory of Renee Russell

Vi and Kevin Hurley in memory of

Sandra Alexander in memory of Daniella Sessarego

Glenn “Hang” Hurley Fiona Bird in memory of Damien Bird

Mary D’Alfonso in memory of Robert D’Alfonso Sue Brown in memory of Abe

Judy Lucas in memory of Samantha Lucas Susie Gabriel in memory of Sam Proctor

Cameron and Louise Rees in memory of Nathan Cameron Rees

Mirella Marcon in memory of James Marcon Kerry King in memory of Lee Anthony Brooks Sheryl Sazenis in memory of Michael Sazenis Alicia and Eduardo Diaz in memory of Benjamin Rodrigo Ignacio Diaz

BRONZE CANDLES Joe and Jenny Galati in memory of Valentino Galati Laney, Rob and Samantha Adam in memory of Emily Adam Anna, Hardip, Krishan and Kabir Nagreh in memory of Fomon Singh Leneve Jamieson in memory of Milos

TCFV Feb-March 9

POSH BAGS FOR LADS When my son died unexpectedly in April last year, I felt the desperate need to create a legacy to honour Balin and ensure his memory lived on. Balin was 15 when he passed in his sleep. It was the end of the April school holidays and what I thought was a long sleep in for my teenage boy turned out to be the most heartbreaking moment of my life. The coroner’s 6-week examination concluded it was an undetermined cause of death, most likely SADS (Sudden Adult Death Syndrome) which can be one of many heart conditions, such as Brugada Syndrome.

Balin was always active, very social and had a large circle of friends from near and far. Balin grew up playing basketball and football and during COVID he discovered his passion for graffiti art. Balin’s tag word was Posh. He independently sourced a local graff art class run by the Banyule City Council and joined the Jets Team to learn how to perfect his graff art style.

Each Wednesday Balin would attend a 4-hour class with his close mates to practice his graff writing, usually drafted on paper and then sprayed on the outside wall.

The group also enjoyed time in a safe space to talk and have a meal together. Balin was never idle and loved travelling on the train to go into town to paint in Hosier Lane (Melbourne CBD). Balin would often come home and tell me about local homeless people he would talk to, share a meal with or give money to. He had a confident nature and could charm and disarm anyone.

I started to think about what was important to Balin, his essence, his passion and I realised helping young people was the most obvious choice. Balin loved to make sure everyone felt included and equal, he hated disparity, and he had such a generous and caring nature. When I began researching support services for young men, I quickly realised that there was a gap in organisations who focus on young men specifically.

I remembered last Christmas when Balin asked if we could buy a gift for his mate, he wanted to get him toiletries. I was a little apprehensive and wondered if his mate would be offended but Balin assured me he would “froth it Mum, and he really needs it”. So we bought body wash, shavers, shaving cream and a bottle of his cologne. Balin loved cologne, he was thrilled when he got his first part time job at our local Priceline where he had the benefit of being gifted any unused cologne testers, he had quite a collection! I quickly 10 TCFV Feb-March

learnt how young men love to smell “fresh ‘’. They take pride in how they dress and they always make sure they have body spray or cologne on before they leave the house. I still love getting hugs from Balin’s mates because they always smell amazing and it reminds me so much of him.

One of Balin’s favourite words to use was “lad”, hence the organisation name being Posh Bags for Lads.

Posh Bags for Lads - Objective & Social Impact Statement Donating toiletries to young men in need goes beyond the physical provision of goods; it has broader social implications that touch on dignity, health, inclusion, and community solidarity. People involved with Posh Bags for Lads are focused on working with a charitable organisation to bring about positive community impact by addressing various social and economic aspects, contributing to the overall well-being and development of the community, in particular young men in need.

The flow-on impact for the young men receiving Posh Bags is increased self-confidence which assists with their wellbeing. This can lead to further benefits such as the courage to consider applying for part time work to create some financial independence.

The bags are packed by a group of my close friends and Balin’s closest mates. We enjoy a meal together before packing the bags. I love that his friends are so invested in the cause and can see the benefits of the bags for young men in need.

Posh Bags – Contents The bags are valued at $80 and come in a bespoke canvas tote adorned with one of Balin’s hand drawn characters, along with his street art tag ‘Posh’. The bags contain many of Balin’s favourite products, including: •

Shavers

•

Shaving cream

•

Body wash

•

Face wash

•

Face moisturiser

•

Shampoo and conditioner

•

Toothbrush set (toothbrush, toothpaste, floss)

•

Body spray

•

Lucas Papaw Lip Balm

•

Cologne

•

Chewing gum

•

Hairbrush

•

Nail clippers

•

Posh sticker & Posh Bags info card

Achievements To date 80 Posh Bags have been donated to the following local youth organisations: •

Jets (Banyule)

•

Diamond Valley Community Support

•

Innovation Youth Centre (Bundoora)

•

Dardi Munwurro Youth Hub (Preston)

•

Youth Junction Inc (Sunshine)

I have also raised money for the organisation through two Hip Hop events (one for over 18s and the other was an all-ages event) which were well attended. Hip Hop was Balin’s favourite music genre and another passion of his as he explored writing and recording his own tracks. I discovered there are limited opportunities for young people to enjoy live music in an environment for all ages. I am currently planning the next all ages event to take place before the end of the summer holidays and am hopeful to continue to run these each term break. The artists are incredibly supportive of the cause and have all kindly donated their time to perform at these events.

I have also begun to reach out to organisations to seek grant funding to support the cause. The organisation is run from an Instagram page and a website is currently in development.

Fundraising One of the Jets team leaders created a print file of one of Balin’s pieces, which includes a character (charo) and his tag (Posh). I was able to use this to design merchandise to sell to raise money to fund Posh Bags. All profits go back into the organisation. The merchandise range includes hoodies, tees, beanies, bucket hats, small saddle style bags, candles and aprons.

Taryn Lockhart Bereaved Mother of Balin (15)

TCFV Feb-March 11

For you to borrow from the TCFV library Here are some of the titles in our library collection. Perhaps you’d like to borrow one or have a browse of our shelves next time you’re at the Centre.

“Beyond reason: lessons from the loss of a gifted child” by Gregg Korbon.

This thought-provoking and beautifully written memoir presents powerful images, ideas and emotions. The story’s unfolding is impossible to anticipate: it demands pages to be turned, all the way to the end.

“Surviving the death of a sibling: living through grief when an adult brother or sister dies” by T.J. Wray.

When T.J. Wray lost her 43-year-old brother, her grief was deep and enduring and, she soon discovered, not fully acknowledged. Despite the longevity of adult sibling relationships, surviving siblings are often made to feel as if their grief is somehow unwarranted.

“The cost of silence: men bereaved by suicide tell it like it is.”

This book has been written by eleven men who have experienced the loss of a loved one to suicide. They are brothers, fathers, sons and partners. The writers hope that their stories encourage conversation, discussion and break down the silence.

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Missing books We have recently completed a long-overdue stocktake of the books on our library shelves, to make sure that the catalogue accurately reflects our actual holdings.

Consequently, we have found several titles that are missing, and want to see if anyone out there has them on their shelves at home.

Do you have any of these books to return to the Centre?

“Listening as a way of becoming” by Earl Koile

“The angel therapy handbook” by Doreen Virtue

“Recovery: learning to love and live after loss”

by Patricia Brown

“Survivor guilt” by Aphrodite Matsakis

“The courage to grieve” by Judy Tatelbaum “Helping bereaved parents” by Richard G Tedeschi “Thin ice: a story of multiple death” by David Buthman “When a man faces grief” by James E Miller “My daddy’s important new job” by Scott Bennett “Gift of tears” by Susan Lendrum “Your perfect right: a guide to assertive living”

by Robert E Alberti

“Talking with bereaved people” by Dodie Graves “Talk to yourself” by Charles Zastrow “A couple’s guide to communication” by John Gottman “A time to grieve” by Carol Staudacher “What to do when you’re depressed”

by George Benson “Do they have bad days in Heaven?”

by Michelle Linn-Gust “Wandering girl” by Glenyse Ward

“For those who live” by Kathy Latour

“Stuck for words” by Doris Zagdanski

“Grief counselling and grief therapy”

by William Worden

“Healing grief” by James van Praagh

“Outrageous fortune” by M V Kelly “Proof of Heaven” by Eben Alexander “Dying to be free” by Beverly Cobain “After suicide” by Sheila Clark “Suicide survivor’s handbook” by Trudy Carlson “Serenity” by Pam Seeney “When bad things happen to good people”

by Harold Kushner

“Beloved visitors” by Cherie Sutherland “Preparing to listen” by Robert E Larson “The grief kaleidoscope” by Su-Rose McIntyre “The greatness guide” by Robin S Sharma “Being you, changing the world” by Dain Heer “The wheel of life” by Elisabeth Kubler Ross “I wasn’t ready to say goodbye” by Brook Noel “Jessic’s Gift” by Susan Loch

We appreciate how valuable reading helpful books can be as you travel this road. In order to allow others to try different material, we have a 4-week loan period, so if you’ve borrowed anything during 2023 (or earlier!) please bring back your books and borrow some more.

TCFV Feb-March 13

Death and Sorry Business

For First Nations people, overcoming grief is a unique and complex process.

It seeks to ensure that as a community we can move past death and commemorate those we have lost with consideration and celebration.

Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander societies are based around the concept of community rather than the individual. This means that an experience of loss impacts whole communities just as much as the individuals within them.

Out on community when someone passes away, the whole community comes together to share that sorrow through a process called Sorry Business. Sorry Business is a period of cultural practices that take place after someone’s death.

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Sorry Business includes ceremonies held around the bereavement and/or funerals for a deceased person.

Sorry Business may also be conducted to mark the experience of grief or loss in other circumstances.

An example of this would be mourning the loss of land or land degradation, such as when a Native Title application is abandoned and so our connection to Country goes unrecognised. Some communities feel the loss of connection to culture or land as painfully as they would feel the loss of a person. This shows the deep connection our communities have with the land.

SORRY BUSINESS AND WORK It is very important to recognise that for many communities, the expectation is that funerals will involve the whole community. Not just family and close friends as is common in some non-Indigenous communities. In some First Nations communities, a period of Sorry Business prohibits other events, meetings or consultations from happening. This must be respected by all people working with land councils, First Nations people and organisations.

FUNERALS Funerals are held after an extended period of ceremony which can last days, weeks, or even months. A person’s obligations to participate in these ceremonies (or Sorry Business) is determined by the status of the deceased person and an individual’s kinship relation to them.

First Nations kinship systems ensure every person is connected with others and supported. Kinship is a complex system that determines how people relate to each other. It also shapes a person’s roles, responsibilities and obligations to other people, animals, ceremony, and land. For many First Nations people, the kinship system is the foundation of our obligations to family, our role in ceremony, our relationship to the environment and can even shape who you can and cannot marry. This complex social structure maintains connection within the community.

So whenever an individual passes away, everyone will mourn their death.

THE PROTOCOLS OF BEREAVEMENT CAN INCLUDE, BUT ARE NOT LIMITED TO THE FOLLOWING: • Not using the name of a person who has passed away; • Not broadcasting the voice of a person who has passed away; • Family members remaining in their houses for a period of time when a death in the family has occurred; • Restriction on participating in non-bereavement related activities or events; • Prohibition to depict the image of the deceased person.

Taken from: https://www.commonground.org.au/ article/death-and-sorry-business

TCFV Feb-March 15

Grief and Easter: Remembering Loved Ones Planning for the holidays, remembrance ideas

For me, Easter isn’t the first holiday that jumps to mind when discussing how hard grief can be on holidays or special days. Yet Easter, filled with bunnies and baskets and pink, can be pretty jarring. The “most difficult holidays” are different for each of us and are dependent on our traditions, meanings, and memories. Easter can be a tough one, especially with all the talk of rebirth and new life. Others may be excited, and you may be . . . well, not excited.

1. Identify which individuals you will be spending the holidays with. Who will be present for events, traditions, and celebrations?

So, what can you do, other than crawl under the covers and hide? For all special days, there are two things we try to do every time – plan and find ways to remember.

Sounds easy enough, right? Well, it may take a bit of work. But it will hopefully make the day a little more bearable if you spend the time to get ready for it.

2. If you decide to involve family and friends in planning, talk in advance.

Let’s start with remembering. The idea of remembering may seem painful, but sharing happy memories can actually fill a tiny bit of that empty space left by those we have lost. Consider ways you can share memories together. You can go around the table, put out photos or scrapbooks, or do whatever else feels right. Not sure? One idea we love for Easter is to create a “remembering basket”. This is easy, great for kids and adults alike, and you probably already have some of the supplies!

Set up a small table with all the items. Throughout the day encourage everyone who is comfortable to write down a memory, something they miss about the person or anything else on a piece of paper and place in an egg. At an appropriate time, open the eggs and share all the memories. Some people may not want their memories shared or added to the basket. That is fine too. Encourage them to write down a memory, place it in an egg, and keep it in their own Easter basket (or purse, whatever). Keep in mind with activities like this that you never want to push people to do something they aren’t comfortable with.

Though Easter is not far away, planning is still important.

Below are some suggestions to prepare:

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Make a list of the individuals you will be with. Often times these individuals will be dealing with the same loss. If you will be spending the holidays alone or with people far removed from your loss, grab a journal or a notebook and complete the plan on your own.

Call, email or talk in person, even if just the day before, to make a plan for the day. Discuss any specific anxieties, things people want to do for the day, and things they don’t want to do. Don’t overlook the children. Even the youngest family members need to have a chance to express feelings and concerns. It’s also important for children to feel heard.

3. Decide what to do about tradition Identify the rituals and traditions that will be the hardest.

Allow each member of the group to discuss what will be hardest about these identified moments. Brainstorm ways to make these elements of the holidays easier. In the end, you may decide to keep the event or tradition the same, change it, or skip it until next year.

4. Discuss roles and responsibilities Your loved one may have held several roles and responsibilities during the holiday season. Take a little time to make sure there aren’t any roles, big or small, that will need to be filled or changed (i.e. who will plan the holiday meal, who will dye Easter eggs, who will make Easter baskets?)

Some people may not feel comfortable stepping into their deceased loved one’s shoes to fill these roles: respect their feeling and don’t push. Make sure the roles and responsibilities don’t fall too heavily on one person.

5. Communicate with children affected by the loss

7. Find ways to incorporate your loved one in the holidays.

The holidays are hard for children because, although they are sad about the loss, they still may be excited for the same reasons we all were as children. Let them know they don’t need to feel guilty about enjoying themselves.

This is the best way to feel close to your loved one and fill their absence. You may want to find at least one or two ways to incorporate your loved one in each tradition and event that you identified as potentially being difficult. If the remembering basket isn’t right for you, we have a list of 16 tips for continuing bonds with people we’ve lost. This list was made for the “big” holidays that span the summer, but plenty of them apply to Easter and grief too!

Ask them to let you know if they start to feel sad. Make a special code word they can use if they need a break or some space.

6. If you haven’t already, take time to think about you and how you will take care of yourself.

Taken from: https://whatsyourgrief.com/grief-andeaster/ by Eleanor Haley

Make a plan for how you will cope when things get really tough. Will you take a walk, journal, listen to music, get some space, exercise, etc?

Give yourself permission to cry. This may be an especially tough day – there will probably be some tears and that’s okay. Set aside time for decompression and self-care after the day. It may be stressful.

TCFV Feb-March 17

Mourning in Summer Nature is a force, one to which we are intricately

Here are three tips to help you manage your grief

connected. If you have ever suffered the loss of a loved

throughout the summer months.

one, then you may already have experienced firsthand how grief tends to change with the seasons.

1. Be kind to yourself. Set realistic expectations. Simply because the weather is warm and sunny doesn’t

Whether trees are budding or being stripped of their leaves, or a magical snowfall is dusting the streets, each new season brings fresh reminders of loss. This is called seasonal grief. Not to be mistaken for Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), seasonal grief occurs when the memories and tradition of each season reopen the wounds of a grieving person who has lost someone special.

mean you have to be. Allow yourself to feel sadness, anger, and emptiness, but try not to sit with those emotions for too long.

2. Exercise. Physical activity is an antidote for depression. Fortunately, summer offers many opportunities to charge your endorphins. Running, biking, walking, swimming, and playing sports are all excellent ways to relieve stress and ward off symptoms of depression.

Of course, integrated throughout the seasons are traditions and memories that may trigger sadness,

3. Find a meaningful way to honour their memory.

anxiety, and emptiness. Consider a birthday, for

Celebrate your loved one with something

example. When you lose someone remarkable,

sentimental and remarkable. Creating a memorial

suddenly their birthday is anything but happy.

diamond from your loved one’s ashes or hair can be

Anniversaries not only remind you of our loved one who

an incredible way to keep them close to your heart.

is no longer with you, but they take on a whole new meaning altogether. Post-loss, an anniversary can mark another trip around the sun that your loved one didn’t come back, another 365 days since their memorial service, or other devastating milestones.

Summer is supposed to be a season of celebration.

From weddings to graduations, backyard barbecues and pool parties, and a never-ending social calendar, summer can be a visceral reminder that everyone but you seems to be living life to the fullest.

You may even feel frustrated with yourself. The weather is warm and sunny, so why aren’t you? The truth is that grief doesn’t take a summer vacation.

18 TCFV Feb-March

Taken from: https://www.eterneva.com/resources/ seasons-grievings-how-grief-changes-with-the-seasons

TCFV Feb-March 19

Balancing Work, Grief, And Self Care

By Amie Lands Returning to work after your child has died is a huge transition in grief. No longer do you have hours in the day to process your emotions and it is more difficult to create time to practice self-care or tend to your heart.

Grief is draining both physically and emotionally.

Spending hours a day at work means that many fewer hours are available to take care of yourself.

So how do you balance work and grief? Is it possible to fit it all in each day?

It is unreasonable to think that emotions can be

• Stay hydrated throughout the day • Be realistic with yourself and your employer regarding your ability to complete duties at work • Practice patience as you acclimate Now that you’re back at work and your personal time is limited, it’s important to maximize that time at home.

Keeping life simple will help during this transition. There are moments both before and after work to create moments for self-care.

compartmentalized. But the reality is even when we

Here are ways to tend to your heart at home:

feel prepared to return to work, we are never prepared

• Wake up with ample time to prepare for the day

for those moments when grief sneaks up on you.

ahead

While you cannot prepare for everything, by creating a

• Use your shower time to decompress

gentle environment both at work and at home you will be better able to handle those moments when they arise.

Here are some self-care strategies to help balance work, grief, and self care:

• Release any held emotions from the day on the drive home • Grocery shop on the weekends to limit your obligations during the work week • Make meals simple: plan ahead, search low

• Listen to comforting music on your drive to work

maintenance recipes, use a slow cooker or, takeaway

• Practice 5 minutes of mindfulness in a quiet space (the

or get something delivered

parking lot, your office, a private bathroom)

• Be physical: take a walk, practice yoga, do a workout

• Take occasional brain breaks

• Journal: make a gratitude list, write a stream of

• Walk outside for 10 minutes

consciousness

• Get fresh air when possible

• Create a gentle nighttime routine

• Be sure to eat lunch

• Get an appropriate amount of sleep

20 TCFV Feb-March

Returning to work is not easy. Some people appreciate the distraction, but if you find that being at work is too challenging or that you weren’t quite ready, speak to your employer.

There may be options for reducing your hours or taking additional time off.

But more than anything, know that your experience is normal.

You are processing a tremendous loss and it’s understandable to find focusing and concentration to be difficult.

Be gentle with yourself and be sure to give yourself grace right now.

You deserve it.

Taken from www.stillstandingmag.com

Remember that TCFV can work with your workplace to help them to know the right behaviours and phrases to support you. We can work with your team to help them understand grief and bereavement and so identify early warning signs of distress. Please visit the TCFV website www.tcfv.org.au and click on Education for more information, or call the Centre on 9888 4034.

TCFV Feb-March 21

Join us in making a difference!

Lace up your shoes and stride alongside us either at Run Melbourne in July or the Nike Melbourne Marathon Festival in October (or join us at both!). By participating, you’re not just running or walking and raising funds for TCFV, you’re stepping into a community committed to a cause. Embrace the fresh air, the camaraderie, and the chance to support both your mental and emotional health and an essential cause. Let’s move together for a purpose!

RUN MELBOURNE 2024 – SUNDAY 21 JULY 2024

Events 6:45am - Half Marathon Registration Fee $130 early bird or $147 after early bird closes.

9:00am – 10km Run Registration Fee $74 early bird or $85 after early bird closes.

10:00am – 5.2km Run or Walk Registration Fee $57 early bird or $62 after early bird closes.

The Start Line is on Batman Avenue and the finish line is at Grand Slam Oval, Melbourne Olympic Park for all events.

For all information regarding Run Melbourne, please see the link below … https://runmelbourne.com.au/ Join Team TCFV at the link or QR Code on the side … https://runmelbourne24.grassrootz.com/the-compassionate-friends-victoria

22 TCFV Feb-March

Photo of Team TCFV runners and walkers from Run Melbourne’s 2023 Event!

NIKE MELBOURNE MARATHON FESTIVAL – SUNDAY 13 OCTOBER 2024

Events 7:00am – Nike Melbourne Marathon SOLD OUT apply to go on waitlist.

7:55am – Nike Wheelchair Marathon SOLD OUT apply to go on waitlist.

8:00am – Nike Half Marathon Registration Fee $160.00 7:30am - Sri Lankan Airlines 10km Run Registration Fee $80 11.15am - 5km Run Registration Fee $55 11.45am - 3km Walk Registration Fee $35 The Start Line is on Batman Avenue, approximately 150m North of Rod Laver Arena and the finish line is inside the MCG. For all information regarding the Nike Melbourne Marathon Festival please see the link … https://melbournemarathon.com.au/ Join Team TCFV at the link or QR code on the side … https://melbmara2024.grassrootz.com/the-compassionate-friends-victoria

TCFV Feb-March 23

Men Only Social Night Once again, in November, the opportunity arose for another TCFV’S men’s social catch up.

BBQ master chef John Delios displayed his superb hot plate skills for the benefit of all who attended. Thank you, John!

The location at the Canterbury Centre rear courtyard was ideal and a warm friendly buzz could be felt in the air.

It was great to share the company of others and chat about anything that came to mind, knowing at the same time it was a safe space to discuss and honour the memory of our loved ones. There is an empathy and connection in this group seldom felt elsewhere.

Thanks to all who came.

Looking forward to the next one on Friday 23 February.

John Brown Bereaved brother of Peter

24 TCFV Feb-March

End of Year Volunteer Lunch At the conclusion of another year, the TCFV volunteers were all invited to lunch at the Centre on Saturday, 25 November 2023.

The heartwarming sight of over 30 dedicated volunteers gathering at the Centre filled us with immense gratitude. TCFV’s existence is truly indebted to the phenomenal contributions of our volunteers. Their tireless efforts, spanning thousands and thousands of volunteer hours, encompass a diverse range of activities—from leading support groups to answering phones, writing anniversary cards, assisting in office administration, and undertaking countless other crucial tasks.

Reflecting on this past year, we are reminded that TCFV’s mission thrives due to the unwavering commitment of each of our 150 individual volunteers. The annual gathering serves as a heartfelt gesture, a humble opportunity for us to express our deepest appreciation for their selfless dedication and hard work.

To each and every one of our incredible volunteers, we extend our sincerest gratitude. Your passion and generosity infuse life into our cause, thank you!

Jane Moschetti

TCFV Feb-March 25

Five Ways That Grief Affected My Reading in 2022 What a year.

There have been many highs and lows, but I wanted to talk today about 5 ways grief has affected my reading in 2022. It has been one year since my brother passed away, and this is written from the perspective of early stages of grief.

Grief is unique to individuals and to their relationships with the people they have lost. It isn’t a one-size fits all, which means that if you are coming to this page with your own grief, you may or may not resonate with what I’m writing here. And that is okay.

These are my own experiences with my grief and how this affected my relationship with reading. This is in no way medical advice or advice on how you should deal with your grief. I do encourage you to find grief support groups in your local area and to also see a grief counsellor if you can. I hope that if you find these words, they bring you some comfort.

1 - I Became More Sensitive to Certain Topics in Books Recently, my book club selected the novel ‘Jesustown’

by Paul Daley. The opening scene of the novel is set in a funeral home. I don’t know anything else about the novel because that is where the novel and I went separate ways.

I don’t really know what it was about that specific novel or scene that stopped me in my reading tracks.

All I know is that I couldn’t keep reading. In the past, I probably would have beaten myself up about not finishing a book, but life is too short to read things that don’t give you something good in return. I know that the sensitivity could go or stay. But either way, I am trying not to fight it.

Remember to tell yourself: It is okay if I feel that certain topics or themes are too much for me to read right now.

2 - I Read a Lot Fewer Books I set my Goodreads challenge to 101 books every year.

Last year I only made it to 72. If you think that 72 is already more than enough, then I might remind you

26 TCFV Feb-March

that I read for my work as well as for this blog. Getting in 100 books is usually easy for me. So 72 was not a great reading year.

Reading a lot less didn’t always mean not reading. In fact, I would find that I could read for hours and days on end – finish two or three books back-to-back and then not be able to read anything for month or two.

Remember to tell yourself: It doesn’t matter if I read or not. It’s okay to do what feels right in the moment.

3 - I Felt Drawn to Books That Talked About Grief After my brother died, I read several books about sibling loss, which I’ll list below. It felt like the only thing I could understand – books written by people who were also trying to navigate a world without their sibling.

For some people I know, the complete opposite is true and they didn’t want to read a single book about grief or loss. Instead, they turned to fantasy and fiction of every kind. There is no right or wrong in these things.

Remember to tell yourself: It is okay to read what I need to help me get through.

4 - Audiobooks Felt Easier Some Days When I wanted to be distracted but couldn’t actually focus on reading the ‘traditional’ way, I leant into audiobooks. I would often listen to audiobooks while knitting or crocheting which was a great way to keep my hands and mind occupied, and I’ve got some great lists here. Sometimes you just can’t think too much or dwell on the grief and so whatever way you can find solace is okay.

For anyone who thinks that audiobooks aren’t real books or real reading, let me remind you that several studies have shown that audiobooks stimulate the same part of the brain as other kinds of reading. So… science says listen to the audiobooks.

Remember to tell yourself: It’s okay to try different ways to read – whether this is audiobooks, magazines, or poetry.

5 - Sometimes, I Just Went with the Flow

Hope

My father died 11 years ago, and I thought I knew every face of grief. The reality is that when my brother died, I felt so totally and utterly unprepared for this new kind of grief. I didn’t want to be heartbroken, but not wanting something didn’t really change the outcome.

Bereaved sibling, published author and one of the founding members of the TCFV Book Club

Even now, after a year, there is still so much I am processing. So sometimes you just have to go with the flow.

Taken from Hope’s blog post Bound2Books. Go to the blog post to find some suggested reading. https://bound2books.co/2023/01/13/5-ways-thatgrief-affected-my-reading-in-2022/

Remember to tell yourself: It is okay to grieve.

I hope that this has helped you in some way on your own reading and grieving journey. Please look after yourself. As always, share the reading love.

TCFV Feb-March 27

28 TCFV Feb-March

TCFV Feb-March 29

Through gifts in Wills, future generations of bereaved parents, grandparents and siblings will be able to Grieve Heal Grow.

By leaving a gift in your Will to The Compassionate Friends Victoria, you will help safeguard our vital peer support services, ensuring that we can be there for the grief journey of future generations of bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents. We could continue to deliver more unfunded programs for our future members, and you would be their compassionate friend through your legacy.

How you choose to leave a gift is your personal decision.

We do however recommend that you: • Seek the advice of an independent solicitor or legal advisor before making or revising your Will. They can help ensure that your Estate is distributed in a way that reflects your wishes.

• Discuss your decision with your family to ensure that they understand your reasons for choosing to help

The Compassionate Friends Victoria is the leading state-wide provider of peer-based support services and programs for those bereaved by the death of a child, sibling or grandchildren at any age and from any cause.

Suggested wording.

Our purpose is twofold:

“I bequeath to The Compassionate Friends Victoria Inc.

• Supporting the social and emotional wellbeing of individuals following the death of a child, sibling or grandchild.

• Sharing our knowledge and expertise about the impacts of grief throughout the wider community and with health professionals.

TCFV with a gift in your Will.

of 229 Canterbury Road Canterbury 3126, for its general purposes (insert the sum of $.......... /or portion of estate/ or description of property) free of all duties and charges and I declare that the receipt of the Treasurer or other proper officer shall be a full and sufficient discharge to my executor and/or trustee.”

Remember – it’s not just the wealthy who can leave gifts to charities in their Wills. Once you have looked after your loved ones, you may choose to set aside part of your Estate for other beneficiaries. Whether large or small, your gift can make a significant difference to bereaved people.

Your gift to The Compassionate Friends Victoria can

How to remember TCFV in your Will.

leave a gift to TCF Victoria or if you have any questions

There are several types of gifting that can be made.

Some represent a specific amount of money, items of property, or stocks and shares. Other gifting represents a percentage of an Estate or the remainder of an Estate once family and friends are taken care of.

30 TCFV Feb-March

remain completely confidential or totally anonymous – however we would love the chance to thank you and acknowledge your generosity during your lifetime.

If you would like to let us know that you are planning to about leaving a gift in your Will, please call to speak with our CEO.

Here is why Jenny and Joe have left a gift in their Will to TCFV. “The members of The Compassionate Friends Victoria (TCFV) are very close to my heart. I have been associated with this organisation for many years. In 2005, our daughter Danielle passed away and about 7 months later I contacted TCFV for support. We found TCFV to be our lifeline. Since 2010, I have been employed by TCFV in various roles including Events Co-ordinator and Volunteer Co-ordinator.

“Over the years I have also been a volunteer, helping raise both funds and awareness. My contact with TCFV has strengthened my belief that bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents have the right to be able to access a safe and supportive environment to grieve in their own way and at their own pace, knowing that they will be offered friendship, understanding and support throughout their grief journey and they will never be judged.

“Following the support we received, Joe and I are happy to now support a wider group of bereaved Victorians in a very practical way. By leaving a gift to TCFV in our Will, we believe we are supporting future generations of bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents to grieve, heal and grow. We will be helping TCFV plan for the future and assure the continuity of their vital support services.

“We encourage you to learn more about the programs and services that TCFV provide to give you a deeper appreciation for the difference your gift could make to those who have lost a child, sibling or grandchild.

“We are totally inspired by the care and commitment of the TCFV volunteers who support the members – they are a very special group of compassionate people. The organisation deserves our support.

“It would be wonderful if you could join me and my husband in helping to provide the future bereaved with a safe place to ‘grieve heal and grow’ by including The Compassionate Friends Victoria in your Will.”

TCFV Feb-March 31

TCFV SUPPORT GROUPS & SOCIAL SUPPORT GROUPS What TCFV Group Meetings offer is…

• The opportunity to get together with other bereaved people.

• The chance to talk about the person missing in our lives.

• The opportunity to drop the mask that society so subtly demands of each of us.

• The chance to cry without embarrassment.

• The possibility to laugh without others thinking you must be “over it”, and • The opportunity to bask in a non-judgemental atmosphere and make new friends.

Support Group Meetings provide bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents the opportunity to meet in a safe environment with others who have “been there”, who understand and care. Group attendees report that meetings are an essential part of their “learning to live again” journey.

Social Support Group Meetings are similarly led by group leaders. They are a lovely social opportunity for bereaved people, often held at a cafe. Discussion is more general, although can sometimes centre on griefrelated issues. If you are needing more substantial time to explore your grief-related issues (and this can particularly be the case when you’re newer in your grief), we recommend a formal support group.

A minority of groups require registration to attend.

Please notify our telephone support-line of your intention to attend the next meeting of one of the following groups: Hawthorn East Social Group/ Box Hill Social Group.

Please register to attend an upcoming session of one of these groups: Book Club / Walking Through Grief / Express Yourself Through Art at TCFV CENTRE / Online Support Group / Online Support for Regional Suicide -Bereaved / Online Express Yourself Through Art. I have baby-sitting problems. Would it be alright to bring my child with me?

While we understand the difficulties of finding childcare, we must ask that out of respect for the needs of others, you do not bring children (under 18 years of age) to meetings.

Bereavement support for under-18s.

While TCFV’s services are for individuals 18 years and above, there are a number of other organisations that provide under-18 services, such as Grief Australia, Headspace and Jesuit Social Services. A listing of these services can be found at: www.tcfv.org.au/under-18s

32 TCFV Feb-March

SUPPORT GROUP

Which day in the month is the meeting held?

Bayside

Where is meeting held?

4 Wednesday 7pm-9pm (Jan-Nov)

Highett Neighbourhood Community House, 2 Livingston St, Highett

Bendigo

4 Tuesday 1:30pm (Jan-Nov)

Long Gully Community Centre, 23-29 Havilah Road, Long Gully

Canterbury Daytime

4 Wednesday 11am (3 Wed in Dec)

TCFV Centre, 229 Canterbury Rd, Canterbury

Canterbury Evening

2 Tuesday 7:30pm (Feb-Dec)

TCFV Centre, 229 Canterbury Rd, Canterbury

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th

th

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nd

Canterbury Siblings

3 Tuesday 7.45pm

TCFV Centre, 229 Canterbury Rd, Canterbury

Canterbury Suicide-bereaved

4 Monday 7:30pm (Jan-Nov)

TCFV Centre, 229 Canterbury Rd, Canterbury

Castlemaine

Contact 1300 064 068 for details.

Eltham

1 Thursday 11am (Feb-Dec)

Eltham Library Community Room, Panther Place, Eltham

Geelong

Last Tuesday 7:30pm (Jan-Nov)

Noble Street Uniting Church, 26-42 Saffron Street, Newtown

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Horsham – Wimmera

Mar, Jun, Sep, Dec

Contact 1300 064 068 for details

Menspace

3 Wednesday 7pm – 9pm (Feb-Dec)

TCFV Centre, 229 Canterbury Rd, Canterbury

Mildura

2 Saturday 11am (Feb-Dec)

MADEC Community College, 133-137 Madden Ave, Mildura

Portland

3 Tuesday 7pm (Feb-Dec)

Star Theatre, 40 Julia Street, Portland

Rowville

1 Friday 1pm (Feb-Dec)

Bridgewater Centre, cnr Fulham Road & Bridgewater Road, Rowville

Sunshine

3 Tuesday 7:30pm (Feb-Dec)

Salvation Army Drop-In Centre, 42 Devonshire Road, Sunshine

Sunshine Bereaved Through Suicide

1 Tuesday 7pm (Feb-Dec)

Salvation Army Drop-In Centre, 42 Devonshire Road, Sunshine

Warragul

Last Wednesday 7:30pm (Jan-Nov)

Warragul Community House, 138 Normanby Street, Warragul

Warrnambool

1 Wednesday 7:15pm (Feb-Dec)

Archie Graham Community Centre, Room CP1, 118 Timor Street, Warrnambool

ONLINE SUPPORT GROUP

Which day in the month is the meeting held?

Where is meeting held?

Regional Suicide-bereaved (Online)

3 Thur bimonthly 7:30pm (Feb, Apr, Jun, Aug, Oct, Dec) Registration required: www.tcfv.org.au/events

Held via Zoom.

Bereavement Support Group (Bereaved through any means) (Online) NEW

1 Tuesday monthly 7:30pm (FebDec) Registration required: www.tcfv.org.au/events

Held via Zoom.

SOCIAL GROUP

Which day in the month is the meeting held?

Where is meeting held?

Box Hill

2 Thursday 7pm (Jan-Nov) Bookings are essential. Please call 9888 4944.

Box Hill RSL, 26-28 Nelson Road, Box Hill

Camperdown

4 Monday bimonthly 6:30 for 7pm start (Feb, Apr, Jun, Aug, Oct, earlier meeting in Dec)

Madden’s Commercial Hotel, 115 Manifold Street, Camperdown

Croydon

3 Wednesday 10:30am (Feb-Dec) Note: December 2023 meeting will be held on 2 Wednesday (13 Dec)

The Rumour Mill, 22 McAdam Square, Croydon

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Geelong

2 Tuesday 10am (Feb- Dec)

Brioche Café, 175 West Fyans Street, Newtown

Hawthorn East

4 Tuesday 7pm (Feb-Nov) Bookings are essential. Please call 9888 4944.

Café Paradiso, 213-215 Camberwell Road, Hawthorn East

Southern Peninsula

1 Tuesday 12 noon (Feb-Dec)

Contact 1300 064 068 for details

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ART THERAPY GROUP

Which day in the month is the meeting held?

Where is meeting held?

Express Yourself Through Art

3 Monday of the month 7:30pm (Feb-Dec) Registration required: www.tcfv.org.au/events

TCFV Centre, 229 Canterbury Rd, Canterbury

Express Yourself Through Art (Online)

Held via Zoom.

For upcoming dates and to register, please visit: www.tcfv.org.au/events

LIGHT EXERCISE GROUP

Which day in the month is the event held?

Where is meeting held?

Walking Through Grief

1st Friday 9:30am (Feb-Dec) Registration required: www.tcfv.org.au/events

TCFV Centre, 229 Canterbury Road, Canterbury

READING GROUP

Which day in the month is the meeting held?

Where is meeting held?

Book Club

1 Saturday month (Feb-Dec) Registration required: www.tcfv.org.au/events

Four Beans Café, 22 High Street, Northcote

INTERSTATE GROUP

Which day in the month is the meeting held?

Where is meeting held?

Darwin

Last Wednesday 7:00pm (Jan-Nov) Contact Group Leader (Ingrid) on Ph 1300 064 068 / darwin@tcfv.org.au

MLA Office (Member for Legislative Assembly), Shop 15A, Oasis Shopping Centre, 15 Temple Terrace, Palmerston, NT, 0830.

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Please note: Bereavement Peer Support in Hobart Bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents in Hobart meet informally at a café setting on a regular basis (often a weekend afternoon). For more information on this non-TCFV support network, including dates and times, please contact our telephone support line on 1300-064-068.

TCFV Feb-March 33

34 TCFV Feb-March

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s r s e t r r e t o Thank you S p r Thankyou upuppo S

Agnes Tan Avery Poole Bradley Family Bradley Family Bryn Humphreys Bunnings Box Hill Bunnings Box Hill Bendel Family Bendel Family Charles Tegner Brunswick United Masonic Lodge City Charles of Boroondara Tegner CherylFamily Lardner Coates City of Boroondara Country Women’s Association of Victoria Coates Family Dorothy Ford Country Women’s Association of Victoria Dynamite Printing Dorothy Ford Eastern Press Eastern Press Galati Family Galati Family Geelong CemeteriesTrust Trust Geelong Cemeteries Harmer Family Harmer Family Ian Zadow James Marcon Foundation James Marcon Foundation Johnson Winter & Slattery Jennifer O’Reilly Judith Theobald John Brown Justice JudithConnect Theobald Kerilee Justice Bolto Connect Karen Philippzig Kidsafe Victoria Kerilee Bolto Le Pine Funerals Kidsafe Victoria Le Pine Funerals

Legalite Life Time Trophies Lord Mayor’s Charitable Foundation Legalite Louisa Ong Life Time Trophies Marken Hosting LordMeet Mayor’s Me InCharitable The MiddleFoundation Cafe Marken Hosting Michael & Maureen Cawley Meet Me In TheAus Middle Cafe Mindfull Mirella Marcon Cawley Michael & Maureen Nunan Family Mindfull Aus Pam & Max Williams Nunan Family PivotLife Pam & Max Williams Robyn Arya PivotLife Scotsglen Singers Inc Scotsglen Singers Inc Shelia Schutz Shelia Schutz Sim Family SM Creative Sim Family Strickland Family Stevyn Walder Sue Binzer Strickland Family The Pethard Tarax Charitable Trust SM Creative The Retreat at Mount Cathedral – Tobin Brothers Kerilee & Nic Bolton Trembath Family Tobin Brothers Trembath Family Tripleconnect Tripleconnect Yarra Ranges Council Yarra Ranges Council Yvonne Sharpe

TCF Australia National Number 1300 064 068 ACT & Queanbeyan 0419 137 818 New South Wales 02 9290 2355 Suite 602, 109 Pitt Street, sydney, NSW 2000 Queensland 07 3540 9949 505 Bowen Terrace, New Farm 4005 South Australia 0456 820 133 Darwin darwin@tcfv.org.au TCF Mandurah 08 9535 7761 Mandurah Lottery House - 7 Anzac Place, Mandurah 6210 TCF on the internet - United Kingdom www.tcf.og.uk – New Zealand (email) tcf.otago@xtra.co.nz USA www.compassionatefriends.org – SA www.compassionatefriends.co.za – Canada www.tcfcanada.net/

The Compassionate Friends Victoria 229 Canterbury Road, Canterbury VIC 3126 Po Box 171 Canterbury, Vic. 3126 Support Phone: (03) 9888 4944 Administration Phone: (03) 9888 4034 Email: support@tcfv.org.au Web: www.tcfv.org.au