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From falling church-hanging bats to flying cake ornaments, Audrey experiences a few “bad omens” during her wedding weekend. Out of all the fiascos that occur, which one would be the most disastrous for you, and how would you go about remedying the situation? How would you differentiate a bad omen from a triggering event in this story? Audrey has many interests, hobbies, and jobs, from photography to astronomy to dog walking. Discuss what each interest says about her and what they have in common. How much of Audrey’s identity and selfesteem is affected by how she makes a living? When Audrey feels anxious, or feels a panic attack coming on, she often finds comfort in the night sky. What do you think it is about the stars and astronomy that she finds comforting? Audrey feels swept off her feet when she first meets Fred. What do you think Fred sees in Audrey, and how does it contrast with what Josh sees in Audrey? Vivien has been married five times and engaged six. How do you think Vivien’s experience of love and marriage might have affected Audrey’s outlook on love and her anxiety about her own wedding day? On pg. 255, Cousens writes, “She didn’t want to listen to the nagging concern that their little universe for two would not be enough.” Audrey struggles with the idea that Josh is delightfully different yet maybe too different from her. At what point do differences become incompatibility? Do you think opposites attract? If you were Clara and Audrey were your best friend, what advice would you give about her Josh-versus-Fred dilemma? What experiences of your own would you draw from to help Audrey make the “right” decision, if there is one?
8. Despite the love Vivien and Audrey have for each other, personal obstacles cause mother and daughter to grow apart. Why do you think this distance is so difficult to reconcile, on both ends?
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Sarcasm, teasing, and banter mark many of Audrey’s interactions, both romantic and platonic. Using an example from the book, discuss whether you think quips and jest can foster a sense of intimacy, and why.
10. Audrey depends on her friends Hillary, Clara, and Paul as found family; though they try to support her on her big day, how do her friends’ dramas and anxieties contribute to her own doubts and concerns?
11. How did the events of the weekend six years before the wedding influence the trajectory of Audrey’s life? Which had more lifechanging significance—meeting Fred or the morning in the gallery with Benedict and the ensuing fallout?
12. Hiding spots, secret meetings, and intrusive thoughts all heighten Audrey’s wedding angst. Do you agree with how Audrey handled herself throughout the wedding weekend? What would you have done in the same circumstances?
13. Cousens illustrates the complexities of many kinds of relationships in Before I Do. Which character’s dating story did you find the most romantic? Why?
14. How does Before I Do illustrate the essence of love alongside the role of fate versus choice? Do you think we choose who to love, or that fate choses for us?