Pretty Smart Chics-Who's That Chic

CONTENTS 4

FROM THE HEART

5

MOMSPACE

8

Dr. O, our Editor-in-Chief explains "Why Pretty Smart Chics."

with L. Renee James-Griffin

"OUR NEXT BEST MOVE"

32

An article by Karla Beedles

"7 FASHION BLOGGERS WHO WILL BALANCE YOUR STYLE DIET" An article by Rose Jubb

3 9 THE MAN CAVE J. W. answers your questions!

12

WHO'S THAT CHIC? MEET OUR PRETTY SMART CHICS

41

COMMUNITY CORNER

44

"Reigning in a New Era"

45

WORD FUN!

46

Social engagement with Toyshebia Napper

A poem by Kortney Y. Watkins

Find these "pretty" words!

PRETTY TALK

Here's What our Pretties are Talking About!

FROM THE with Dr. O

Dr. Ondra Krouse Dismukes

Welcome, Pretties, to the inaugural issue of Pretty Smart Chics, an ezine that speaks to real, everyday women about issues affecting real, everyday women. Each quarterly issue will focus on empowering women of color in the areas of health, wealth, and style.

Why Pretty Smart Chics? . . . because representation matters! If we can see it, we can be it. As much as I enjoy O, The Oprah Magazine a.k.a. O - and I have a world of respect for its founder, I can’t be Oprah; I can be me. I can’t be the celebrities who grace the pages of other magazines; I can be me.

These magazines speak to part of who I am; but I am more than that. I am more than my hair, although I do want to look fly. I am more than my family, although I bring them with me. I am more than the media I consume, but I appreciate that which speaks to me, everyday me.

Pretty Smart Chics speaks to all of me, not from a celebrity’s point of view, but from people who experience life as I do - as a young professional woman navigating the real world with husband, children, pets, and bills in tow! If any of this resonates with you, then that’s why Pretty Smart Chics!

In our inaugural issue of Pretty Smart Chics, we are proud to introduce you to seven dynamic women who are raising the bar of excellence in the areas of health, wealth, and style.

In addition, Karla Beedles offers expert advice on making “Our Next Best Move,” and Fashion Blogger Rose Jubb introduces us to “7 Fashion Bloggers Who Will Balance Your Style Diet.” L. Renee James-Griffin and Toyshebia Napper offer sound advice, respectively, for working moms - in Momspace - and ways to remain active in our own communities in The Community Corner.

While each issue will feature creative writings that will feed your spirit and a “pretty members only” invitation into The Man Cave, we are especially honored, in this issue, to share poetry by author Kortney Y. Watkins and to welcome our host for this issue’s Man Cave, Rev. Dr. Wendell H. Paris, Jr., Senior Pastor of Mt. Tabor Baptist Church of Miami, in Miami, Florida.

From cover to cover, we’ve got you covered! Don’t believe me? Turn the page, and get ready for a journey that we hope you will find as rewarding as our small but mighty staff of Pretty Smart Chics enjoys bringing it to you.

Cheers!

-Dr. O

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Help! I Can’t Go to the Bathroom Without My Kids Going, Too As a mom of two, I am always amazed at what it means to be a parent. I have two girls, now five and seven, and I would not change them for anything. I love being their mother. I love their constant hugs and kisses, and endless random questions. I love when my warm-bodied furballs sneak into my room in the wee hours of the morning, separating my husband and me, to curl up against us or on top of us.

If I were Elizabeth Barrett Browning, I would use this blog to count the ways I love them from the moon and back, and maybe one day, I will do that. But, . . . just as much as I love them, I would be dishonest if I did not mention that along the way, there are times I have been frustrated as to what to do when an issue rears its ugly head.

Moms, I know you can relate. One of the issues I’ve had to navigate as a mom is setting healthy boundaries for my kids. My little ones love to be around me. I know that won’t always be the case, and one day, I will miss it. However, I have struggled with my younger child wanting to be everywhere I am, at all times. In particular, one of those spaces is the dreaded bathroom.

Yep, that’s right; you read that right. The bathroom. In the beginning, I thought it was cute to see her crawl after me when I left the room or attach herself to my leg when I said I had to go. Other times, she would crawl into the bathroom when I was ahhh . . . ummm . . .well, let’s just say occupied, demanding to be picked up. And for a little while it was okay. She was a baby. What harm could it do?

Plenty. While on the surface that doesn’t seem like a big deal, it is a big deal because as she has gotten older, the need to be close or under me has grown. No, she is not crawling behind me at age five demanding to be picked up. However, there are times she opts to sit outside the bathroom door waiting for me to come out, or she will barge into the bathroom needing me to resolve whatever issue is at hand. She is independent and can play well with others without me; but if I am in the vicinity, all bets are off. It’s a problem because I am a private person by nature; and sometimes, I need a breather, a moment to think, to regroup so I can be the cheerful, energetic mom my little ones have come to expect.

Somehow, my youngest has become attached to me, but not to my husband in the same way. We have talked about her attachment, and he made a funny comment that got me thinking. He

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Continued from p. 5 said, “Men are pa, pa, paternal for a reason. It means, pa, pa, please.” On the surface, his comment seems crazy, but what he means is that men and women think differently. Well, duh! We know that, right? Except, we do and don’t. We (moms) know we (men and women) are different and often approach situations in various ways, but we don’t always lean on or pay attention to how our significant others handle things because let’s face it: Moms know best!

So, how does this apply to my situation? Easy. I finally had to realize that my situation is the result of my own making; therefore, I am the only one who can fix it. Believe it or not, I created my daughter’s attachment, and she just continued it. When she was younger, I was too busy thinking it was cute watching her follow me instead of establishing healthy boundaries from the start. And if I am honest, there were times I picked her up and took her with me because we were the only ones in the house. She got her cues from me, whereas my husband established those boundaries earlier on with both our children. And while I have established healthy boundaries in other areas, I did not realize I needed to do so in this one.

So, for all my moms out there who find themselves in a similar boat, there are actionable steps you can take to transition your clinging child to a fully functional independent child who doesn’t get upset that you have left the room.

Step 1: Start Small. One Action at a Time If your child is used to being near you, around you, or on top of you, then slowly begin to break the cycle. Don’t push them away or scream, “Get out the bathroom, I need some alone time!” Instead, focus on one area at a time. For me, it was the bathroom. Once, I realized I was a part of the problem, I figured out ways to resolve the issue. For example, I made it a game and infused the situation with humor. When my daughter wants to come into the bathroom, I now say, “Sorry, I’m not available right now, but will be with you shortly.” It sounds weird, but my daughter laughs and runs to tell her sister what just happened, which gives me the space I need. It’s funny to her because we often play house or work when it’s appropriate. In addition, I changed the sayings and my voice. When that habit was resolved, I moved on to the next one.

Step 2: Communicate Your Needs To me, children are little adults. They have feelings and can understand a great deal. If your child is old enough, like my five-year-old, sit her down and have a conversation on her level. I asked her why she felt the need to sit outside the bathroom door or barge in. We talked. Next, I told her that I love her, but sometimes, mommy needs some alone time, too. She understood.

Step 3: Listen and Pay Attention to Your Child Of course, we do this step. We are mothers; that is our role. However, your child may be clingy because he or she is sad, tired, sick, or any number of other reasons. Just like Step 3 asks that you communicate your needs, you need to let your child communicate his or her needs. Sometimes, my little one is clingy because she doesn’t feel well. Children don’t always know how to articulate that something is wrong.

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Continued from p. 6

Step 4: Reinforce Healthy Boundaries Although I did and still do the other steps, I also take it a step further. For the bathroom scenario, I lock the bathroom door. Sometimes, kids forget, and seeing that the door is locked is a gentle reminder of what not to do. In addition, I provide positive reinforcements. In the beginning, I praised my daughter for remembering to give me space (I don’t have to do this now, because it has become the norm).

Step 5: Be Patient Your child did not become clingy overnight. Whether it was a combination of your child’s personality or your need as a mother to always save the day, it will take time to break old habits; but they can be changed. You must be patient and remember that your kids are people, too.

Mi Familia

For more writings tips while parenting, be sure to sign up for my mailing list at www.momspace.com

OUR NEXT BEST MOVE s e l d e e B a l r a K

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Our Next Best Move

by Karla Beedles The main key to getting what you want is knowing what you want. I’ve seen it time after time where people end up in jobs or relationships where they are miserable, simply because they lacked clarity in what they wanted.

I recall the words of one of my first coaches; he said, If you don’t know what you want, someone else will tell you what you want. That’s how so many people get stuck living a life that’s less than desirable for them: doing more for others than they do for themselves. I’m sure you can think of someone right now who you would say is too talented, too intelligent, or too kind to be in the position they are in.

The good news is that we all have the power to change, to make our next move our best move.

There are a few steps we can take to make our Next Best Move.

1. Get Clear on What You Want – In a world filled with followers, it’s easy to look around and make plans based on what everyone else is doing. The problem is that if we only go after what others have, more often than not, we are left unsatisfied once we attain it. Do yourself a favor: Get into a space that inspires you, bring a notebook, and dream about the life you desire. There’s nothing off limits, and the possibilities are endless with your imagination. For writing prompts to help you see a bigger vision and gain clarity, grab the Dream Zone Guidebook.

2. Write Your Goals Down – Once you’ve gained clarity about what you really want, it’s time to write some goals. Statistics show that people who have goals achieve substantially more than those without them. Goals are your dreams with timelines attached. Look over all the things you wrote during the clarity exercise, choose a few things that you want to start working on, and set a deadline by which you wish to achieve them. These goals will be supported by the action steps you take each day. Most people try to skip steps or cram many things into a short time frame.

When they are met with failure, they accept defeat and abandon the goal. Two lessons here: 1. Don’t try to change everything at once. Take small, consistent steps each day. If time permits, you can always do more.

2. Never abandon the goal. Change the plan as often as necessary; but go after goals, no matter what.

3. Visualize the Outcomes Daily – Every morning and evening, spend a few minutes imagining your life when you achieve your goals. Read over the goals you’ve written down, close your eyes, and see yourself on the other side of success. This may take some practice at first; but once you get into the habit, you will be able to visualize conversations with people, the color of the walls in your new home, or whatever the details are for your goals. In addition, when you spend time visualizing or meditating on your goals, you will receive instructions, which leads to the final step.

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Continued from p. 9

4. Take Inspired Action – As you receive ideas or instructions during your visualization time, it’s important to take fast action. The universe and your mind appreciate speed. Timing is crucial when in pursuit of your goals. Situations and opportunities change swiftly. This is not meant to send you into a frenzy, but to make you mindful not to procrastinate on taking action steps toward your goals. Often we pray and seek answers; and when we get them, we hesitate, contemplate, or talk ourselves right out of the thing we said we wanted. This usually stems from a form of fear. If you find yourself in this space often, I invite you to join me for my course Limitless Living: 8 Week Study of Think and Grow Rich.

If you were looking for a sign of what to do next, let this serve as the sign that your answer lies within you. I caution you not just to read this as good information to know. Begin to apply these principles at once as part of your next best move. There’s a saying that the biggest gap for most adults is between what we know and what we actually do. We all know a plethora of information, but success goes to the doers of the world.

Let's Work!

www.visionsone.com

WHO'S THAT CHIC?

Truvine Walker Interview by Jay L. Harris

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TRUVINE WALKER Interview by Jay L. Harris

JH: What are some of the challenges you have faced as a woman of color working in speech and language pathology?

TW: As a Black Speech-Language Pathologist, one of the proud 3%, the challenges are plenty. In the medical setting, I have been mistaken for housekeeping, CNA, and dietary aides, all respectable professions; however, these "mistakes" occurred with me wearing a white coat, name badge, and stethoscope. I have had elderly White people tell me they didn't want help from my kind. My knowledge and expertise are often questioned, especially when my professional recommendation does not align with what the team "wants." In addition to dealing with all the biases, microaggressions, stereotypes, and macroaggressions, I'm often faced with people wanting to tell me how "the last speech teacher did it." Not a year goes by in which I don't have to explain the difference between speech teachers and speech-language pathologists. On top of that, I have to remind colleagues that Speech-Language Pathologists are no more monolithic than any member of the education profession. Sometimes, I think as a Black SLP I empathize and internalize the problems that systemic racism causes students who are learning or have learned English as a Second Language as well as those with dialectical variations. Many of the language tests we used are quite biased. As a Black Speech-Language Pathologist, I find it quite challenging fighting to get students out of special education because someone, another "professional", considered their dialect to be a disorder. It's challenging hearing people who think their language is "standard" or "mainstream' assert that those who speak with dialectal variations are of lesser ability and intelligence. One of the lesser-known challenges is that within the 8% of the SLPs of Color there is anti-Blackness, so in the words of Donald Glover, when I think of the profession, I think "This is America."

JH: Tell us about your online store with Teachers pay Teachers.

TW: One of the problems within the Speech-Language Pathology profession, - and education, in general - is that most of the products are White centered. Books and learning materials need to provide mirrors for children to see themselves, windows for them to see the world, and sliding glass doors for them to know they have options and choices; they can dream and reach those dreams. I no longer create materials for my individual store because I recently partnered with two other Black Speech-Language Pathologists to create materials. Our goal is to "inspire children of color with a proud representation of their heritage while simultaneously supporting the culturally responsive SLP and other educational professionals." You can check out our materials at https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Store/Imagineme-sst or boomlearning.com/imaginemesst We are just starting out and making materials, on top of everything else we do; however, we would love to hear feedback from parents and educators about our current products and what they would like to see that will be beneficial at school and/or at home.

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TRUVINE WALKER Interview by Jay L. Harris Continued from p. 14

JH: Anyone who knows anything about therapy understands that there’s no such thing as a “one-size-fits all” approach. What advice would you give someone on choosing a therapist?

TW: This is an excellent question. I give the same advice to people about finding a therapist as I do about finding a doctor. Ask questions, and state your desired outcomes. Pay attention to the listening behaviors of the therapist. Ask yourself, do you feel like you were heard? Did they attempt to answer your questions and address your concerns, or did they quote textbook responses and data? Did they ask clarifying questions to get a better indication of your concerns and needs? Did you feel like you were put on an assembly belt for a drive-thru interview, or did you feel like they offered your favorite beverage and allowed you to process the questions and the information? Honesty is definitely important. Unfortunately, sometimes, it's hard for parents to hear diagnoses that have a limited or challenging prognosis. As difficult as it may be to hear some diagnoses, truth has better outcomes than fiction. You want a therapist who is going to be truthful and work diligently with you and your child to achieve the best possible outcomes. In essence, you don't want a therapist to work with your child and say they have reached maximum potential once they start doing the bare minimum if your child is still demonstrating progress.

With that being said, understand that public school guidelines differ from those of private practice. In schools, therapists can only address those deficit areas that are negatively impacting educational performance in school. In my opinion, the best therapists are those who work with children and coach parents on how to work with. and advocate for their children.

JH: What is your spirit animal?

TW: While my ancestry is significant for Black and Indigenous, I don't incorporate a lot of Indigenous practices in my daily life; so, I refrain from using expressions such as "my tribe" or "my spirit animal" because those have different meanings for people who are Native and Indigenous. Many Native and Indigenous people have gone on record to say these "expressions" being used by non-Natives are offensive and disrespectful. Instead, I choose to say, "I have the spirit of my ancestors, and I am their wildest dreams." I truly believe that I carry the wisdom, tenacity, boldness, and spirituality of my ancestors in my DNA. The same characteristics they used to overcome slavery, Jim Crow, White supremacy, and so much more, is what encourages me to keep going.

J H: Where can we find you on social media?

TW:

Trucommunicates.com

IG: truvine_walker Ts

ū:

Tru2Life

IG: ImagineMe_SST LinkedIn: Truvine Walker Twitter: @trucommunicates

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Monique Russell Interview by Dr. Ondra Krouse Dismukes

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MONIQUE RUSSELL Interview by Dr. Ondra Krouse Dismukes

OD: What is Clear Communication, LLC? Why did you feel the need to start this business?

MR: Clear Communication Solutions, LLC, is a global communications training, coaching and consulting firm. We help women leaders and teams use effective communication tools and strategies to have positive and productive relationships at home and work.

OD: Tell us about your new book, Intentional Motherhood: Who Said It Would Be Easy?

MR: I wrote this book for two main reasons. First, I imagined having a conversation with my greatgreat-great-granddaughter and wanting her to know the mindset, beliefs, experiences and challenges in her lineage. I would want to leave an accurate account of my experience to empower the women in my family and in my generation line. My second reason was for women everywhere to be aware of the communication tools and self-awareness needed to parent truly from love and not fear.

To do that, we need to: 1. Understand our identity as mothers and to choose it intentionally.

2. Understand how our ideals and beliefs have been formed and how we live that out in day to day life.

3. Understand what it takes to have thriving and loving relationships with ourselves, our children and others 4. Set aside time to embrace conflict with intentional conversations so we can model and demonstrate to our children the most effective way forward OD: Tell us about a time you struggled with communicating your needs.

MR: I was the Queen of People Pleasing before I learned how to be intentional in expressing my needs. I wanted to be liked and appreciated; and instead of speaking up for myself, I would often make excuses for others' behaviors. This spilled into my business, my parenting, my marriage, and family relationships.

See, when you are not vocal in one area, it impacts other areas. This is how I know when a woman is struggling in one, there are gaps in others.

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MONIQUE RUSSELL Interview by Dr. Ondra Krouse Dismukes Continued from. 17

OD: You’ve shared the stage with some amazing people, like Lisa Nichols. How are you able to keep your confidence high and not feel intimidated by their celebrity status?

MR: There are a number of ways.

First, one of the most beautiful things my mother did when I was growing up as a child was limit my viewing of television and media to one hour per week. As a result, I consume very little media; and rarely, if ever, am I up-to-date or speed with the latest happenings. What this did for me was keep me limited in my exposure to celebrities and reduced the feelings of being starstruck whenever I would encounter someone. I often would run into people at events, have entire conversations with them, and not realize until later how famous they were. I respect celebrities for their craft and expertise, but I am not intimidated by them.

Second, I studied media and have a degree in Journalism. My media lens is different from someone who does not have that background because I understand a little about what goes on behind the scenes, so [this space] is not that intimidating for me.

Third, when I encounter someone I admire who has a celebrity status, I do not see them as competition. I see them as a mentor. I get excited to experience the opportunity to watch them work and learn from working alongside them. Because of this mindset, I am not intimidated by celebrities.

Last, growing up in the beautiful islands of The Bahamas, many celebrities often come to visit for vacation. One of the things most celebrities say they love about The Bahamas is that when they visit, no one cares about their status. You won't find people running behind them, stalking them, or anything like that. They are just one of us. My confidence is internally motivated and driven, so I remain curious about, rather than intimidated by, someone with celebrity status.

OD: Where can we find you on social media?

MR: Instagram @clearcommunicationcoach; Facebook - @clearcommunicationcoach; Linkedin Monique Russell, @clearcommunicationcoach

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Valaurie B. Lee

Interview by Kortney Y. Watkins

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VALAURIE B. LEE Interview by Jay L. Harris

JLH: How have you found success in IT, which is a traditionally male-dominated industry?

VBL: I'm a firm believer in God and attribute my success to Him. He's given me the strength to push forward when I encountered challenges and the faith needed to sustain my businesses when things got difficult. I've been fortunate enough not to encounter too many instances of ignorance, but they occur; I'm not surprised. As a Black woman, I'm in a lot of rooms with people who do not look like me; and while it is challenging--it's also motivating. I'm always excited to prove people wrong and to show people that I'm just as capable and confident as they are.

JLH: As the mother of 2 teenage girls, how are you instilling the value of wealth-building?

VBL: Since I became a mother, I encouraged my girls to invest in themselves by taking education seriously and betting on their own abilities. So often, we limit our chances of accomplishing something great simply because we refuse to try. Sure, sometimes we will experience failure or setbacks, but other times we learn just how much we have to offer and what we are capable of achieving. I'm living proof of what happens when you step out on faith and simply do what you know can be done.

JLH: What advice would you give to single professional women on how to manage their finances?

VBL: Invest in yourself. Just like entrepreneurs must prepare themselves to be in the best position possible to grow their business, single women must do the same thing. It is so important to create security for yourself and for your children (if you have any). Establishing multiple streams of income is essential, saving is essential, and teaching your children how to handle money is essential.

JLH: Why is wealth-building important in the African American community?

VBL: Building wealth is important for any community, but particularly for ours because we've faced so many challenges in accessing capital and accumulating wealth. Thanks to the men and women who came before us, we're better positioned to create wealth for ourselves and our children so that they can have the tools they need to keep it going. Passing on knowledge and resources is the only way things will change.

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VALAURIE B. LEE Interview by Jay L. Harris Continued from p. 20

JLH: As one of many black business owners investing in historically black neighborhoods in Atlanta, what is your vision for Main Street in historic College Park, Georgia?

VBL: I grew up in historic College Park and went to Woodward Academy, so being able to invest in this area means the world to me. It's changed so much since I was young, and I'm honored to be one of the people bringing new energy to this area. My vision for Main Street is to be a destination for luxury services and unique finds in Atlanta. There's so much history here, and I just want to give more people a reason to experience it themselves.

JLH: Why is it important, as an entrepreneur, that you invest in the black community?

VBL: That's easy; I invest in the Black community because so many people invested in me. I have benefitted so much from those who invested their time, resources, and wisdom in making me better. The least I can do is to offer the same to the next generation.

JLH: Where can we find you on social media?

VBL: @wellnessspotatl @vbconsultinginc @popshopolisatl @bvb_foundation

Tonja Bennett Interview by Dr. Ondra Krouse Dismukes

TONJA BENNETT Interview by Dr. Ondra Krouse Dismukes

OD: A quote appearing on your website reads, “Without beginning or ending, our original wisdom has been shining forever, like the sun.” What does this quote mean to you, and how do you help people tap into this space?

TB: In 2018, I was either on my way to or returning from Egypt when I felt a strong desire to place this powerful quote on my web page. While I have had many revisions, this final quote sums up the depth of yoga for me. As my awareness grew, I began looking to cosmology to help me navigate my journey.

Like the Dogon people of Africa, who have known the cosmos without manmade instruments, I began looking up and paying attention to stars, angles, patterns, the and geometry of the sun, and seasons. I was able to see the continuum of the Science of Yoga and understood why it's a wisdom practice. Written in stone, the pyramids are a testament to the great teachers. Angles make up our universe; for example, a single molecule of water takes on a pyramidal shape; and we are 70-plus percent water. The third limb of yoga means to sit, and in the seated meditative position, the body is also taking on the geometrical shape of water and the pyramids, and from this seated position is where all my classes end, resting in the meditative space.

OD: We see that you are a doula. How and why did you get into this field?

TB: Along my journey, people have been placed on my path to take me to the next phase of my learning. “Will you teach me everything you know” has been the most memorable request from prospective students. From there, I began a 200-hour Registered Yoga Training Program through Yoga Alliance to train others wishing to learn more about the practice.

Ever since I can remember, I have had a strong affinity for science and medicine. Had I become a physician, I would have been an obstetrician. Prenatal yoga and doula practices offered the perfect opportunity to assist in the delivery room. So once again, someone taking my class asked for my assistance. She sought my help because she read that prenatal yoga could decrease the chances of having a C-section; and having a doula as an advocate, for mother and child, would serve her well, since she had had two previous C-sections and wanted to experience a natural birth. I agreed to support her 9-month journey, instructing her and others while furthering my education in Pre & Post Natal Teacher Training and Doula classes, simultaneously.

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TONJA BENNETT Interview by Dr. Ondra Krouse Dismukes Continued from p. 23

OD: Why yogaonthemove?

TB: Why not yoga on the move? So many times, one sits in a yoga studio peaceful, radiant, and calm; then, as soon as one steps into the world, the peace is broken. We must take our yoga with us.

When the vision first came to me, it was about removing the vertical walls and allowing fresh air to recharge the lungs, and about getting the body moving and being one with nature.

However, over time, I wished to navigate peace into all areas of my life, and I knew I needed to be off the mat to make that happen. Therefore, I began taking yoga everywhere and into all circumstances and situations as my practice.

OD: In 2019, you authored a study called “The Homunculus Yoga Project.” Tell us about this project.

TB: I was at the tail end of my homemaking and needed academic mental stimulation. I answered an advertisement to study Neuroscience & Yoga together; creating a curriculum, essay, or presentation was the finale. I ended up doing all three and came in first place! The research focused on hacking the brain's ability to create neural pathways using our fingers and a smile. .

OD: Where can we find you on social media?

TB: Website: YogaOnTheMove.org.

Facebook Pages: Yoga On The Move, Yoga Haiku, Doula Yoga Mama, Taste420Yoga.

Groups: Yoga Haiku, Yoga Write, The Homunculous Yoga Project.

Lori Jones Interview by Jay L. Harris

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LORI JONES Interview by Jay L. Harris

JH: I follow you on social media as Chef Lori, and I have noticed you express your creativity through food. How did you become a chef and why?

LJ: I have loved to cook since I was 4 years old. I learned how to cook from my dad and developed a passion for flavors and creating art through food. I also love to put smiles on faces, and food tends to do that.

JH: The name Blackology Coffee: Where did it come from?

LJ: The name Blackology came from my love of good coffee and flavors. Essentially it is the study of black coffee: Finding the best tastes and hidden flavors to create an enjoyable experience for all types of coffee lovers.

JH: How did motherhood affect your journey toward entrepreneurship?

LJ: I made excuses about having to sacrifice and put my dreams on the back burner for the sake of being a mother for years. When Covid happened, I realized that entrepreneurship needed to happen for the sake of my children and their well-being. Not only am I living my dream, I am also creating a legacy for them.

JH: Why is wealth-building important in the African American community?

LJ: For many years, we have struggled as a people with creating financial stability, wealth, and even legacy. We have to work together to build up our community, where in the past we have been conditioned to tear each other down.

JH: What was it like launching Blackology Coffee during the pandemic?

LJ: It was scary as hell . . lol! The uncertainty was super intense!! Overcoming fear in the midst of a pandemic and having confidence in myself was the most difficult thing I've ever done.

JH: What are some challenges you have had to overcome as a Black female entrepreneur?

LJ: Stepping up in two industries that men dominate: culinary and coffee. I was told that I was the first black female-owned coffee company on the east coast. In the culinary world, men mainly white men - run the kitchen. Being able to step up and take the reigns as the head chef in a white sorority house was amazing, and those young ladies were amazing, and that was another historical moment for me.

JH: Where can we find you on social media?

LJ: You can find us on Facebook and Instagram @blackologycoffeecompany

s r e w o B a i c e m a J Interview by Dr. Ondra Krouse Dismukes

JAMECIA BOWERS Interview by Dr. Ondra Krouse Dismukes

OD: Tell us about Beauty by Bowers Day Spa JB: Beauty by Bowers Day Spa opened in September 2012 and was designed as a local getaway where people in the community could have their own personal retreat and escape, while receiving beautification services. It began as a family business, and the first location was actually located inside of my dad’s dental office. The spa was located there my first five years in business. I offer skin care (facials and body treatments), waxing, makeup application and semi-permanent eyelash extension services. I am so happy that I get to help my clients relax and treat them to their own personal vacation for an hour.

OD: How did you get started in this industry?

JB: Honestly, it was by accident. I started out wanting to be a dentist, like my dad. I have a degree from Florida A & M University in Biology; and when I graduated, I worked as his assistant while I studied for the DAT exam. I also took post baccalaureate graduate classes at Georgia State University, but it just was not for me. I finally began to see and embrace my creative side. I started to take an interest in makeup and decided that before applying to dental school I would like to learn more about my hobby. So, I enrolled in the International School of Skin, Nail Care, and Massage and obtained my license in Aesthetics in 2011. I completely fell in love with aesthetics and the beauty industry, and it went along with my biology background as well. The rest is history.

OD: What advice would you give women of color regarding skincare?

JB: Be sure to preserve and protect your skin from the inside out. What we put in our bodies is, in a lot of cases, more important than what we put on top of our skin. Staying wellhydrated is essential, and proper balanced nutrition is key.

OD: What’s been your formula for success?

JB: I am not completely certain that I have discovered it yet, even after almost nine years in business. Treating my clients with the same respect and care as I would my closest friends and family is what I have built my business on. Caring for people with respect and kindness has been the foundation. I am not perfect and am in a constant state of learning. My mission is to live out my life’s purpose of showing the beauty in myself and others.

OD: Where can we find you on social media?

JB: Instagram: /beautybybowers Facebook: /beautybybowers Twitter: @beautybybowers

Denecka Randolph Interview by Jay L. Harris

DENECKA RANDOLPH Interview by Jay L. Harris

JH: What struggles have you faced in management during the Covid 19 Pandemic?

DR: The biggest struggle I faced in management was being able to continue all of our departmental functions and processes while teammates were redeployed to assist with COVID-19 initiatives. Being supportive of my teammates during these unprecedented times has helped us to remain encouraged.

JH: How have you remained motivated, and how have you encouraged your staff to stay motivated during the Covid 19 Pandemic?

DR: I have relied on my faith and the support of my family and friends to remain motivated during the pandemic. I often prayed for guidance and strength that surpasses understanding. I also encouraged my staff by focusing on the positives and on things that we can directly impact. It was helpful for us to continue planning to make progress on our program initiatives.

This gave us hope for better days, too.

JH: As both a healthcare professional and a woman of color, what are your honest views on people receiving the Covid vaccine? Have you been vaccinated?

DR: When I first learned that a vaccine was in development and would be available by the end of 2020, I was not convinced that I would receive the vaccine. However, my hesitancy was not related to my race, but more related to the unknowns about the vaccine, which seemed to have been developed quickly. Because people of color are disproportionately affected by the virus, I knew that I would ultimately need to be vaccinated. I did lots of research and learned about how the vaccine was developed, outcomes of clinical trials, and learned how long scientists had truly been working on a mRNA vaccine. I then made my decision and began speaking to my family and friends about what I had learned. I received my first dose of the vaccine in December 2020, and I continue to believe that getting the vaccine was the best thing for me.

JH: Tell us about your family life. How do you balance your career in management with your life as a wife and mom?

DR: I am proud to be married to my wonderful husband, who supports me in everything I do! Together, we have an amazing son and a beautiful daughter. My husband is my partner in life, and it’s because of him that I am able to balance my home and work life.

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DENECKA RANDOLPH Interview by Jay L. Harris Continued from p. 30

JH: In 2019, you served as a volunteer on the Board of Examiners for the Malcolm Baldridge National Quality Award. Why is this organization important to you, and how has volunteerism enhanced your professional career?

DR: The Baldrige Foundation’s purpose is to improve quality of life continuously through the Baldrige Performance Excellence Program by supporting organizational performance excellence across the nation. The organization’s purpose correlates with my personal and professional goals of improving healthcare for my health system, but on a much broader scale.

At my current organization, we continuously seek accreditations and certifications from various healthcare organizations that certify the quality of care provided. As an examiner, I was able to work with an outstanding group of professionals in helping other organizations achieve this distinguished award that demonstrates the high quality of care they provide. It was an absolute honor to serve on the 2019 Board of Examiners for the Malcolm Baldrige National Quality Award!

To become an examiner, I was required to participate in rigorous training that included some self-study and onsite training before serving on the annual awards selection committee. My volunteerism has enhanced my professional career by enabling me to use the things I learned and being able to apply the Baldrige Framework in my current work.

JH: As a healthcare professional, you have taken an oath to “first, do no harm.” Are there times when your role in management seems in conflict with your oath as a healthcare professional? How have you met these challenges?

DR: The Florence Nightingale Pledge speaks about practicing the nursing profession faithfully and maintaining and elevating the standard of my profession. As a healthcare leader, my commitment and dedication to the Nursing profession has never been in conflict with the pledge I have taken as a nurse.

JH: How can we find you on social media? https://www.facebook.com/denecka.randolph

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7 Fashion Bloggers Who Will Balance Your Style Diet

By Rose Jubb

As a wardrobe stylist, I see a lot of the positive effects of style. When a woman pushes herself to try new things, lets go of what isn’t working, and is really feelin’ herself in the mirror, IT IS MAGIC. It is power. It is a gosh darn feminine wonder to behold!

The sad side of styling is when I see so many women waiting to experience this level of confidence because of her size or non-controllable factors. Regardless of your weight goals, skin color, or age, there is something to be said about adorning the vessel you are given with love, respect, and items that truly represent you.

Let’s be clear. There is clothing for every size, shape, age, and style personality trait. It is legitimately harder to find in "non-standard” sizing, YES, but it is out there! And you deserve to wear your identity and feel good as you are NOW.

There are so many reasons women may think they have to be a certain size before they can feel good in their wardrobes, but I believe a huge factor is that the style-related media we consume is often populated by young, thin, white ladies.

I know this because I’m 2-out-of-3 of those descriptors; and sadly, until recently, I had no clue just how hidden fashion bloggers and stylists of other sizes, ages, and skin tones truly are. It’s something that needs to shift, and you can help by following the gals I suggest today, then fall down the rabbit hole of suggested follows that expand your style-media intake to something much more balanced.

We’ve been brainwashed to be striving constantly for some unattainable goal weight that’s set by society. We’ve been brainwashed to believe there is any standard for what beautiful is. You might accidentally be seeing only young, slim, white fashion bloggers who get paid to model items made (most of the time) by companies who use less of the reputable resources and labor to create fast fashion items.

If we don’t get very intentional about the style and fashion media we are exposing ourselves to, we too can ingest a steady diet of falsehoods and start to think this form of self-expression is only for the “standards," when it’s not. . .Period!

Representation matters. Seeing all shapes, ages, sizes, and skin tones being stylish and happy in their skin not only expands our expectations about what and who is stylish; it also helps us personally be more accepting of our known individuality, because when we embrace ourselves completely we experience that confident magic I spoke about earlier.

Here are 7 style icons you’ve just got to start following for their outstanding content and fresh, very needed take on style.

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Gabi @gabifresh

Katie Sturino @katiesturino -

Spardha Malik @spardhamalik

Mary Lane Haskell @marylanehaskell -

Sandra G @thisisfiftysomething

Coretta Sigler @corettarenia -

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Shaniqua Marie @iamshaniquasays Remember, fashion is just a tool to help you express your personal style, something everyone has. Go out of your way to expand your style-media diet, because not doing so is like choosing only to see one color in a rainbow, when you’re meant to see them all together, complimenting each other.

Special thanks to all the gorgeous spirits who let us list them in this article! We’ll be following and supporting your efforts.

Rose Jubb is the Founder of Style Class, a Virtual Wardrobe Stylist & Image Strategist for women with big goals, and the Host of Closet Goals on Amazon Prime Video. Learn more at www.mystyleclass.com

Dear J W: Men are typically described as being less emotional and not encouraged to be open emotionally. Do you find this is true? Who do you turn to for emotional support?

Concerned, Mary, Atlanta, GA

Dear Mary: Though I usually avoid speaking in generalizations, I think that men are not less emotional than women. Rather, we’ve been socialized to suppress our emotions, to the end that we must at all times exhibit, embody, exude and exert strength. We are told and taught that we must be strong. And the relentless pursuit of perceived strength makes us comfortable expressing only one emotion—anger. The suppression of most other emotions, and all other emoting, leaves us with anger as the only emotion we feel comfortable expressing, because we erroneously associate anger with strength, as do we, in error, associate violence with strength. Our socialization teaches that when we are angry, we are strong. We are socialized to believe that crying is soft, weak behavior.

Depression—anger turned inward—is weakness as well, a perception which often contributes to our refusal to seek help for mental illness or emotional distress.

Any discussion or even acknowledgement of feelings other than anger is weakness that must be corrected.

Thank you for writing to the Man Cave.

Sincerely, JW

WANT TO BE A GUEST BLOGGER? Submit your name, email address, & a writing sample to us.

E-mail: jlharris@prettysmartchics.com

SUBMIT

Toyshebia Napper

CORNER

Hi Pretty Smart Chics, and welcome to the Community Corner! The Community Corner expands our ability to make a better world at the local, state, national, and international levels. Here, we can grow, heal, and embrace joy with individuals near and far. Let us change into a comfortable pair of shoes and take a stroll around our Community Corner.

According to Merriam-Webster, a community is a group of people with common interests in a particular location. Also, people can share common financial, political, and social interests or experiences as part of a larger society. Often, we focus on the geographical location or external factors, rather than taking a step back and exploring the whole beautiful tapestry of humankind that binds us. Come closer, fellow Pretty Smart Chics! We are a community, too!! We have come together with interests, passions, desires, and drives to grow, heal, and inspire. Our community transcends geographic borders, ethnicity, political parties, and religion. We understand the berth of our reach and embrace the world. As we continue to walk, here is a little secret: The world needs YOU!! Do not become overwhelmed; people need your smile, compassion, insight, laughter, talents, and new ideas, whether big or small. The Community Corner will help you share and influence, without being overwhelmed. The bigger secret is how much you will love and benefit from sharing your light with the community.

Close your eyes and think back to the first time you volunteered or came to someone’s aid just because there was a need. How did it make you feel? Yes; can you feel yourself smiling and taking a deep breath as the warmth of the moment floods back into your memory. When we volunteer or donate to others - whether it is time, money, or skills - we receive an intrinsic reward. Many studies show our mental health benefits from volunteering and helping others. Volunteerism improves our mind, body, and soul. Studies have shown it to combat depression, increase confidence, and provide a sense of purpose (Robinson, 2021). Heck, giving back to others even counteracts stress, anger, and anxiety. Girl, I don’t know about you; but we all can use a double shot of these benefits; it is a guaranteed way to connect with others and expand our social connections. We can meet and work with people who normally would not cross our paths. Also, volunteering enables people to develop new skill sets that nurture careers, passions, and creativity. Honey, this walking and talking is great. We are getting a workout strolling the community and taking in the sites. While we are on the topic of exercise, physical health improves when volunteering becomes a lifestyle choice. Look, most volunteer opportunities require some type of physical exertion or make a person get off the couch or bed. We could spend the day talking about the benefits of giving back to the community, but I know you need to get back.

The Community Corner will provide opportunities and ways to connect with amazing organizations across the world. We will highlight various agencies and causes. The best thing is we are able to

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CORNER

Toyshebia Napper

partner through donations, volunteerism, and other ways to help these organizations make our world awesome. See you on our next trip, and do not forget to wear something comfortable. We have work to do, ladies; but know you will feel amazing afterward!!!

Sources

Merriam-webster.com. 2021. Definition of COMMUNITY. [online] Available at: <https://www.merriamwebster.com/dictionary/community> [Accessed 27 March 2021].

Robinson, L., 2021. Volunteering and its Surprising Benefits - HelpGuide.org. [online] HelpGuide.org.

Available at: <https://www.helpguide.org/articles/healthy-living/volunteering-and-its-surprisingbenefits.htm> [Accessed 27 March 2021].

ADVERTISE WITH US! Email us @jlharris@prettysmartchics.com for our rates.

Reining in a New Era

by Kortney Y. Watkins

She sat on the edge of the bed, now slightly indented with days of hours of weight having broken in the springs of the mattress and supporting box spring. Rattling through her purse for anything remotely festive, she settled on a gloss with purple sparkles. Her hair had been gathered into a favorite style, a curly bun that crowned the top of her head, the stretchy bandana of red, white, and black paisley serving as tiara. She was a queen and she knew it.

But queens are meant to be seen, touched, communed with by other kings and queens—at least on occasion. Her queendom, though, had dissipated into a space of virtual nothingness for the well-deserved sake of something-ness—health, hope, love, and fear, all of which are a driving force of soul-level truth: that action and thought are always intertwined, that intentionality can triumph over happenstance. Neither her reign, nor anyone else’s through Christ, would come to anything if Solomon-esque wisdom refused to rule the day. And so, the modern-day Sheba sought wisdom and complied. It was the people of her shared queendom, not herself, who mattered most. The King of all kings would expect nothing less.

Yet, still, queenly ways require worldly participation. Thus, she picked out mascara, pressed powder, and tweezers then went to work. The last step was the gloss. No need for shoes. Flip-flops would do, as below the waist would never be seen in the new location of her queendom.

Her eyes peered into the handheld mirror of her pressed powder, tilting her head this way and that, subtly making the aggravated bed-springs screech ever-so-slightly from the movement. But

by God, she was pretty and the slanted eyes became more slanted with the smile that acknowledged it was indeed so. Crowned in glory of headband, makeup, and sacrifice, she had chosen, at least for that night, to retreat to her castle far away. Worlds away. Out in the ether space. All dressed up and nowhere to go. All dressed up and everywhere to go.

She would have to adjust, but she would still reign, as was her divine right to rule. All in God’s name. All in God’s time. All a part of God’s plan. She. Would. Reign.

Kortney Y. Watkins is a writer, poet, and educator. She lives and loves by the moon and waits for the world to come.

KEEP IT PRETTY

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Pretty TALK We asked our Pretty Smart Chics, “If you could outsource one chore, what would it be?"

Here’s what our Pretties would outsource:

Laundry

Cleaning the Baseboards

General Cleaning

Join the conversation! Follow Pretty Smart Chics on all social media @PrettySmartChics.

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