Give The Gift Of You

By LeAnn Foster-Contributing Writer

It’s quite cliche. Nothing overly profound, but you should understand that you are the gift. The gift is being housed inside of you.

As the holiday season approaches, the season of stress to impress, many people go on this 30-45 day journey of masked misery and anxiety. Mothers are adamant to create a day that their children will never forget, give the little ones everything she wished she had gotten. Significant others pigeon-hole themselves into a feeling of obligation to give a social media-worthy present for others to coo, “oh, you’re so lucky.” Holiday parties are plentiful and require new attire for each, and never show up empty handed. In-laws, friends, business associates, family, service providers… Your list grows; and with every new name and task, the pressure mounts. Now breathe. Slow your heart from racing.

Remember one of your best experiences. Are you thinking? The moment that came to mind likely had no bows being untied, no boxes being unwrapped, no material gift exchanges. Most of us remember the moment we felt genuine love, excitement, appreciation, attention, and affection. This big busy world is quite small. We all share the same basic needs. With all our differences, we are far more the same.

This year, be intentional about the upcoming holiday season. When you overspend and force yourself to attend one more festivity, despite your body and mind needing to be refreshed, ask yourself what you are trying to accomplish. Likely, you want to show people you care about them and value the relationship. There are several gestures that can demonstrate that, without you compromising your sense of peace.

When Jesus visited Mary and Martha (Luke 10:38-42), Martha, in many of the translations, was described as being distracted. When she finally protested and asked Jesus to admonish Mary for sitting while she worked, Jesus let her know that her worrying and scurrying around was unnecessary. Mary gave of her time and attention, as she sat at Jesus’s feet. The most valuable gift is your presence. Be there for as long as you can be there. You are the gift that people desireyour children, your mate, your loved ones and friends.

Because we often operate in a space of feeling not enough, we become inclined to cover the disillusioned deficit by the over giving of stuff. Let me share this story with you.

Lema was a struggling single mother when her little Jace was first born. His first Christmas, she used all of her money to buy as many toys that would fit under her tree. She took numerous pictures of Baby Jace surrounded with toys and clothes. The next couple of years, her situation still was trying. Every year, Jace had the best toys and hottest trendy items that were on the market. She kept managing to load the tree with gifts and was sure to have countless pictures to share. She would make the declaration that he would never go without a good Christmas. One Christmas, a bad winter storm knocked the power out for more than half the day. Lema forgot to grab batteries for some of Jace’s toys. The temperature had dropped so much that it was too cold to crawl from beneath the covers. Still, years later, Lema would talk about that being the worst Christmas ever. On the heels of becoming a pre-teen, Jace had a school assignment that requested he tell the story about the best Christmas ever. He wrote:

The best Christmas was when it snowed outside. The whole world was white. The snow looked like vanilla ice cream. I wanted to eat it, but mommy said it would make us sick. It was dark all day. Then it got really cold. Mommy and I made a fort on the bed with lots of blankets and covers and flashlights. She lit some candles, and it looked like a magic palace. Mommy and I napped together. She said if we taco’ed we would be warmer. So, she folded her body over me, and we weren’t cold anymore. She was a soft shell, and I was the filling. Mommy is so funny.

We got to make up knock-knock jokes and tell each other. We had staring contest to see who would blink first. We played Rock, paper, scissors. She said they played that back in the olden days. I massaged her feet, because she always complains they hurt when she gets home. She told me stories about silly things she did and thought when she was my age. You know she thought if you ate a watermelon seed that a whole watermelon would grow in your stomach. She told her parents a fib about how the TV fell and broke. She was jumping around. She said maybe one day she’ll tell Grandma. I told her that when I grow up, I’m going to buy her her favorite car. She can live with me and my wife, Zee, and our 10 kids. She does not have to work anymore. But she said she doesn’t want to live with my 10 kids. So, she asked for a house of her own in my backyard. I told her fine, but don’t be running in and out of my house, and don’t slam my door. She has a pretty smile. I like when she laughs and starts to cry. She says, “You’re making me cry real tears, Boy.” This was the best Christmas ever. I think she bought me a race car. I don’t remember, but I wish it would snow every Christmas. If it snowed every Christmas, I would wish Christmas was everyday.

Lema, while cleaning out Jace’s crumb-filled book bag, found his wrinkled-up assignment. With precision and gentle strength, she hand ironed the paper as best she could. She pulled it away from the line of her gushing tears, because she was going to secure this paper like a government document.

Believe me. The “Jaces” in your life are more than satisfied with all the love you carry. The “Marthas” of the world get burned out and grow resentful. The “Marys” walk away with experiences and are appreciated for their time and attention. As you start to make your gift list, spend less money and give more of you: Your beautiful smile and that loud laugh. The look into those marbled eyes. The touch of your warm soft palm rested against the arm of a loved one. You think you want to give others the world, but you are the world to others. You’re enough, my Sister.

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