Happy Holidays

Happy Holidays Volume 1, Issue 3

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CONTENTS

4 FROM THE HEART Get ready for the holidays with Dr. O 6 HOLIDAY TRADITIONS WE LOVE! Our Pretty staff shares our favorite holiday traditions.

8 MOM SPACE with L. Renee James-Griffin 10 BUDGETING FOR HOLIDAY JOY

by Tara Opie 19 GIVE THE GIFT OF YOU with LeAnn Foster 22 CELEBRATING BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH

by Dr. Ondra Krouse Dismukes

27 HOLIDAY DECORATING with Tiffany Alexander 30 HEALTHY SPIRIT, HEALTHY LIFE

15 MEET OUR BOSS CHIC, JAY L HARRIS! Check the beauty behind your brand!

by Tanelia Johnson-Evans

36 THE MAN CAVE Buying gifts for your special guy

COMMUNITY CORNER 37 THE with Toyshebia Napper

38 PRETTY TALK! Surviving breakups during the holidays

42 ZEUS: CHRONICLES OF A SEX GOD from the novel by Jay L Harris

FROM THE

with Dr. O

Dr. Ondra Krouse Dismukes

GETTING READY FOR THE HOLIDAYS

Are you ready for the holidays?

I mean, really ready? Confession: For the past 15 years, I have come to dread the Holidays.

Aside from the increased commercialization of the holidays - from the pumpkin lattes hitting our favorite cafes to the bottle-poppin’ year-end countdown, neither of which represent anything really holy (although, in my head I’m rebutting Well, champagne is like wine, and pumpkins are God’s fruit...You get the idea, right?) - the holidays also remind me of loss. Good old November - at the heels of Halloween, which ends a month-long celebration of breast cancer awareness - reminds me of my mom, who succumbed to breast cancer the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. It also reminds me of my dad, who transitioned on the Saturday after Thanksgiving just six years earlier than my mom.

Fortunately, I begin the month of November celebrating my mommyversary, the birth of my first-born child, my son; and I begin the month of December celebrating the birth of my daughter. My birthday falls next in line, just four days before Christmas; so the holidays take me on an emotional roller coaster that leave me feeling spent, even - or especially from the anxiety of just anticipating feeling spent . . . WHEW! . .

Somehow, I feel, like I’m not alone, here; so, it is in this spirit that I share this anecdote along with some tips that I learned from one of my favorite podcasts, Therapy for Black Girls, on “Steadying Yourself for the Holidays” In session 33 of the Therapy for Black Girls podcast, Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a licensed therapist in Atlanta, Georgia, offers the following six tips for maintaining your mental health during the holidays:

Be realistic about your budget; think of gifts that don’t have an obvious monetary amount.

Create new traditions, or reexamine old ones.

Make a game plan for dealing with the loss of a loved one.

Set and stick to your boundaries Build downtime in your schedule just for yourself.

Allow yourself space to feel whatever you feel.

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FROM THE

with Dr. O Continued from p. 4

Dr. Ondra Krouse Dismukes

Whether celebrating the holidays with family, friends, or flying solo, Pretty Smart Chics has all the tools you need to maintain your pretty from the inside out, and from the outside in this holiday season!

Pretty Smart Chics kicked off the holiday season in celebration of Breast Cancer Awareness month with an evening of music, dance, and poetry at the 10th annual Pink Frog Affair, an annual event by the Pink Frog Foundation that celebrates not only breast cancer survivors but also those in the community who donate their time, energy, and other resources in support of breast cancer patients in the community. Speaking of community, our Community Corner editor, Toyshebia Napper, reminds us not only of the importance of being charitable during the holidays, but also how to do so this year. Our Boss Chic, Jay L Harris, shares expert advice on how to maintain both your beauty and your brand during the holidays, and she shares an extra special treat in the next installment of Zeus: Chronicles of a Sex God. In this spirit of all things joy (wink!), Momspace Contributor L. Renee James-Griffin shares expertise from her blog on making holiday fun with the kids, and we go back inside the man cave, where J.W. shares his top 5 tips on buying gifts for your special guy this holiday season.

Of course, celebrating is a major part of the holidays, but even celebrating can be stressful without a success plan. With this in mind, Pretty Smart Chics is especially honored to share perspectives from our contributing writers, who remind us of the importance of self-care during the holidays. Wealth expert Tara Opie returns to help protect our financial health in her article, “Budgeting for Your Holiday Joy,” and interior decorator Tiffany Alexander shows us how to create beautiful holiday tables in our homes for the low low in "It's the Happiest Time of the Year." Tanelia Johnson- Evans notes that our spiritual health is akin to our spiritual wealth in her article “Healthy Spirit, Healthy Life,” while in "Giving the Gift of You," LeAnn Foster reminds us that, beyond all of the gift giving and holiday festivities, the greatest gift anyone can give is the gift of self.

Happy Holidays, Pretties!

-Dr. O

Credits: "Steadying Yourself for the Holidays." Therapy for Black Girls Podcast. 15 November 2017. https://therapyforblackgirls.com/podcast/

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Holiday Traditions We Love Our Pretty staffers dish on their holiday traditions

Dr. O

Jay L

My favorite Christmas tradition is wrapping gifts on Christmas Eve. As weird as it may seem, I actually have a love-hate relationship with this practice, yet it remains my favorite. I mean, as anxiety-provoking as this practice is for me admittedly due to our family’s financial strain over the past six years and general fatigue as the mother of two youngish children - I actually love hiding presents, choosing my wrapping paper theme each year, pulling out the scissors, tape, ribbons, and bows, and wrapping gifts while I drink hot chocolate and watch “It’s a Wonderful Life;” for, indeed, despite the struggles of the outgoing year, this tradition reminds me that it really is a wonderful life!

“You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out!” Every adult in the movie A Christmas Story When I was a teenager, my older brother and I started hosting Christmas Eve parties. All of our friends would pile into our tiny townhouse to play games, eat snacks, and enjoy laughs. Of course, the TV stayed on TBS for us to watch A Christmas Story marathon. If anyone touched our floor-model TV to change the channel, they would get put out! To this day, every Christmas Eve, I watch A Christmas Story marathon.

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Renee

I love the holidays! I have many fond memories as a child and as a mother of two that solely deal with the holidays. However, I think the one that resonates the most with me is making sweet potato pies with my mother. Growing up, my family ate sweet potato pie two times a year: Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Days, sometimes weeks, before the big day, my mom would begin our tradition of making the sweet treat. As a child, I watched her and my sister bake into the night as the cinnamon, nutmeg and vanilla extract flavors filled the air. I went from licking the spoon to taste tester to assistant to baker. Our tradition is more than just baking; it was a time for us to talk, laugh, bond.

Now, those same scents swirl in my own home around the holidays, and I see the same excitement bounce in my daughters’ eyes as they get to lick the spoon, taste test, and now help me make them.

I can’t spend the holidays without my favorite seasonal movies.

I have a routine, if you must know - lol. The room must be cold so I can snuggle in my favorite blanket with legs criss-cross applesauce and drink a big, steamy mug of hot chocolate with a flavorful creamer and topped with marshmallows. I watch “Elf” with Will Ferrell and “The Grinch” with Jim Carrey. I laugh each time like it is my first time watching.

Toyshebia

Making Holiday Treats with the Kids: Getting into the Holiday Spirit There’s nothing like the holidays. At least that was the case two years ago, prior to COVID-19, when most people looked forward to displaying their decorations and cooking skills for friends and family. Fast forward to today: many areas of the world are still experiencing fluctuating positive COVID-19 cases. With the numbers rising for unvaccinated individuals, it is hard to get into the holiday spirit when many families will not be sitting across from one another for a second year in a row.

I don’t know about you, but I found myself pondering, “How do I get into the spirit and maintain it for my girls?" It’s not their fault that my family can’t visit or that we can’t go see them right now. The truth is, if I was by myself I probably would not bother with the usual holiday shenanigans; but for my girls, I have found the spirit. And so can you!

Have you ever heard the adage, “Fake it until you make it”? Well, that is what I did and quickly discovered that as this year’s holidays approach, I am truly in the spirit because of my girls. Let me explain.

My girls love the holidays - or any day, for that matter, that allows them to be rambunctious, over the top, and creative. To them, the holidays represent a time to explore ways to drive my husband and me crazy; experiment with ingredients that are both food and non food-like; and create masterpieces on paper, on the floor, and around the house that are celebrated instead of confined to their playroom.

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Continued from p. 8 So, how did my girls get me into the holiday spirit? Easy. They reintroduced me to the fun we always have when we create. Around the holidays, we love to make desserts. I think our love stems from my being a short-lived baker in my twenties (a story for another day) and all the baking shows the girls and I now love to watch. Either way, we rolled up our sleeves and decided on a plan of action.

I introduced my daughters to a pineapple upside-down cake. Yum! I would like to tell you that we made the batter from scratch, but in reality, Betty Crocker and some other ready-made cake mixes tend to be staples in my pantry. We melted butter, mixed it with brown sugar, and placed pineapples and cherries on top. For some reason, though, the cherries kept disappearing and no one knew what happened, of course. Hmmm? The cake turned out great. It barely cooled before the girls tried their first bite.

The holiday spirit is only beginning. The other day, one of my daughters wanted to make cake pops, so I cleared the counter and pulled out the ingredients to make a big mess. My girls and I laughed and played and sneaked samples along the way. We created chocolate and vanilla cake pops with rainbow sprinkles, purple dots, white candied sprinkles, and more. By the time we were done, we had two containers of cake pops and another of cake balls. Yep, you heard me: Cake balls because we ran out of cake pop sticks!

I’m in the holiday spirit because I am having fun and not focused on the ones I can’t see in person this year. The trick is to enjoy the now, the now you are in with whomever. In my case, it happens to be with my husband and my girls. I’m in the spirit because the girls are in the spirit and we’re together. We even managed to rope my husband into the fun.

While this year - and truthfully, last year too - may be different, we all can still spread a little holiday spirit if we try. Go ahead, try it. Baking masterpieces like cake pops, holiday Rice Krispie treats, and sweet potato pies, happens to be our thing. Nothing screams holidays like the scent of holiday foods in my kitchen. Last year, we made a whole gingerbread village and will probably make one this year too.

But who knows what you and your family will gravitate towards to put you in the spirit.

In the meantime, wish me luck. Now, my girls and I plan to tackle making homemade slime and fall and winter decorations.

L. Renee credentials include a bachelor’s degree in English, a bachelor’s degree in journalism, a master's in fine arts in creative writing, and a master's of arts in secondary education.

Her love for the English language has propelled James-Griffin to instruct high school, freshman, and upper-level students on the art of words. In addition, she currently resides as one of the advisers of the Milton High School literary magazine, The Globe.

BUDGETING FOR YOUR HOLIDAY JOY

Tara Opie CONTRIBUTING WRITER CONTINUED ON P. 11

Budgeting for Your Holiday Joy

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The holidays are weeks away. Everyone from Amazon to CNN has been advertising holiday shopping since late September. We’re now shopping for Christmas gifts before Halloween. Although this fact sounds a little rushed, we have to consider the shipping delays we already experienced. Multiply that a few times. Numerator.com compiled a survey about what consumers intended to spend over the holidays. It states, “nearly two-fifths of consumers spend over $100 on their Christmas food & drinks in a typical year. This year, over two-thirds, expect to spend roughly the same amount as they have in the past, with one-fifth expecting to spend more” (Market Track, 2021).

With that being said…

Here are some tips and ideas for getting started with your shopping, while keeping your budget intact.

Find the Codes!

Nothing feels worse than going to your cart to check out your items and you don’t have a discount code. Who wants to pay full price for anything right now?

I am gifting you one of my favorite Facebook groups, Gullah Deals Page. This group shares daily discount codes for nearly everything and anything you and think of. Check out the link to learn more.

Amazon and Target are looking to grab some of your coins with their Black Friday Deals starting today. Makeup and toys are looking to have the lowest discounts of the season before the traditional Black Friday deals begin.

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Consider the meaning, not the price tag.

Another plan I chose to do this year is making gift-giving more meaningful. Last year, my daughter’s school mailed out a care package, including a craft everyone could do over a video chat.

This year, I plan to send out a simple dessert recipe for a cup brownie, then plan an event on FaceTime with the family; we can cook it together. A simpler tip is to send an e-gift card, so everyone can purchase their own ingredients and you can save on postage. Click the link here for recipe ideas.

There is always a way to save. Send me an email at tarak@taraspecializes.com for more information.

Credits:

Allison. “Brownie in a Mug.” Celebrating Sweets, 21 June 2019, https://celebratingsweets.com/brownie-in-a-mug/.

Deals, Gullah. “Log in or Sign up to View.” Facebook, https://www.facebook.com/gualladeals/.

Numerator.com. “2021 Holiday Consumer Intentions Study.” Numerator, https://www.numerator.com/holiday-trends/consumer-survey.

Tara K. is a mother of three, a graduate from Independence University with a degree in Accounting with an emphasis of Forensic Accounting, and a minority business owner. Before then, she managed a small business for several years learning the needs and wants of small business owners. She has been practicing accounting and bookkeeping since 2016 with clients all over the world. She started Tara K. Specializes, LLC in 2019 with the goal of helping small business owners achieve financial health. She has published two books entitled How to Monetize Your Niche in 90 Days and Simple Credit Repair. Both are available at taraspecializes.com/products. taraspecializes.com facebook.com/tarakspecializes instagram.com/tarakspecializes

www.visionsone.com

PRETTY SMART CHIC

Jay L Harris THE BEAUTY BEHIND THE BRAND

OKD: What is your vision for Pretty Smart Chics?

JLH: To help women renew their lives spiritually, personally, professionally.

My vision is to help inspire, empower and serve women through the creative arm of Pretty Smart Chic.

Whether that is with the ezine, retreats, or group coaching courses, Pretty Smart Chic is where I will be of service to my sisterhood of the world.

OKD: Why Pretty Smart Chics?

JLH: When I was in 7th grade, my crush came into my 6th period class. I was super smart and loved answering questions. As I was showing off, he said - out loud, in front of everyone “You have a lot of book sense but no common sense.” I was devastated. At that moment, I thought my intelligence was a handicap. I began to dumb myself down to fit in with people. It has taken me most of my life to overcome that one moment. I wanted to create something that would highlight women’s beauty without downplaying their intelligence.

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OKD: If you could ask one question to one black female icon, who would you ask, and what would you ask them?

JLH: I don’t elevate celebrities; instead, I focus on being the best possible version of myself. Entrepreneurship is a ministry. My paternal grandmother and grandfather owned and operated a store, and their store ministered to a poor, Black community in the South.

If that’s not iconic, I don’t know what is. My grandmother and mother paved the way for the way I’m living; now, I’m paving the way for my nieces and my future daughter, being the best possible “Nunee” I can be for them.

OKD: What is your happy place?

JLH: The BEACH!!!!!

OKD: You have an active social media presence. What are some successes you have found on social media in building your brand?

JLH: I am always amazed when I meet someone out in public and they say they know me from social media. It's super weird. I immediately become self-conscious, because I try to be very authentic both on and offline. Honey, the fact that I get paid to be on social media all day is the best success I have found from social media. . . . Oh yeah, and when I see the work I've done for other people showing up on my timeline!

OKD: What advice would you give to black women for establishing a social media platform to promote their business?

JLH: Social media is a tool. It is a vital part of your marketing plan. When you see social media as a business tool, it makes it easier to focus on using it to grow your brand.

OKD: As a self-proclaimed P.K. (preacher’s kid), how has your spiritual journey affected your professional development?

JLH: In 2018, I adapted the philosophy of Be The Light! If I focus on letting my light shine in everything I do, I will be the best person I can be. This is important to me, since I see entrepreneurship as my personal calling. It is my reasonable service unto God. To add to that, it is my faith that keeps me sane. Nothing will test your spiritual walk like running a business.

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OKD: How has Jay L. Harris Creative Werks afforded you the opportunity to launch Pretty Smart Chics?

JLH: JLHCW pays the bills. Seriously, JLHCW helped make me into the leader I am today. I have learned so much about myself the past six years; it’s honestly where my creativity thrives, and now it allows me to extend my reach into a new arena. I’ve wanted to launch an Ezine for the past 10 years; and now, I am able to do that because of things I have learned over the years!

OKD: What challenges have you faced as a black female entrepreneur?

JLH: I am very open with my creative ideas. Because of this, it has left me open to be used by people. Nothing has been more devastating than when I was talking to a potential coach and sharing my ideas for sharing content on social media only to have her put it out in her IG stories as her original thought. I learned in that moment to be careful who I share my ideas with , and that some people are cut-throat. Now, I am more aware when people are using me for my creative ideas; and I decide if I want to share them, or not.

OKD: What’s the best professional advice you have received?

JLH: I have had the opportunity to work behind the scenes for a lot of successful people. The one thing I learned is that people pay people to solve problems. As long as you’re a problem solver, you will always be able to make money.

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SUBMIT

GIVE THE GIFT OF YOU

By LeAnn Foster CONTRIBUTING WRITER

It’s quite cliche. Nothing overly profound, but you should understand that you are the gift. The gift is being housed inside of you.

As the holiday season approaches, the season of stress to impress, many people go on this 30-45 day journey of masked misery and anxiety. Mothers are adamant to create a day that their children will never forget, give the little ones everything she wished she had gotten. Significant others pigeon-hole themselves into a feeling of obligation to give a social media-worthy present for others to coo, “oh, you’re so lucky.” Holiday parties are plentiful and require new attire for each, and never show up empty handed. In-laws, friends, business associates, family, service providers… Your list grows; and with every new name and task, the pressure mounts. Now breathe.

Slow your heart from racing.

Remember one of your best experiences. Are you thinking? The moment that came to mind likely had no bows being untied, no boxes being unwrapped, no material gift exchanges. Most of us remember the moment we felt genuine love, excitement, appreciation, attention, and affection. This big busy world is quite small. We all share the same basic needs. With all our differences, we are far more the same.

This year, be intentional about the upcoming holiday season. When you overspend and force yourself to attend one more festivity, despite your body and mind needing to be refreshed, ask yourself what you are trying to accomplish. Likely, you want to show people you care about them and value the relationship. There are several gestures that can demonstrate that, without you compromising your sense of peace.

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GIVE THE GIFT OF YOU

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When Jesus visited Mary and Martha (Luke 10:38-42), Martha, in many of the translations, was described as being distracted. When she finally protested and asked Jesus to admonish Mary for sitting while she worked, Jesus let her know that her worrying and scurrying around was unnecessary. Mary gave of her time and attention, as she sat at Jesus’s feet. The most valuable gift is your presence. Be there for as long as you can be there. You are the gift that people desireyour children, your mate, your loved ones and friends.

Because we often operate in a space of feeling not enough, we become inclined to cover the disillusioned deficit by the over giving of stuff. Let me share this story with you.

Lema was a struggling single mother when her little Jace was first born. His first Christmas, she used all of her money to buy as many toys that would fit under her tree. She took numerous pictures of Baby Jace surrounded with toys and clothes. The next couple of years, her situation still was trying. Every year, Jace had the best toys and hottest trendy items that were on the market. She kept managing to load the tree with gifts and was sure to have countless pictures to share. She would make the declaration that he would never go without a good Christmas. One Christmas, a bad winter storm knocked the power out for more than half the day. Lema forgot to grab batteries for some of Jace’s toys. The temperature had dropped so much that it was too cold to crawl from beneath the covers. Still, years later, Lema would talk about that being the worst Christmas ever. On the heels of becoming a pre-teen, Jace had a school assignment that requested he tell the story about the best Christmas ever. He wrote: The best Christmas was when it snowed outside. The whole world was white. The snow looked like vanilla ice cream. I wanted to eat it, but mommy said it would make us sick. It was dark all day. Then it got really cold. Mommy and I made a fort on the bed with lots of blankets and covers and flashlights. She lit some candles, and it looked like a magic palace. Mommy and I napped together. She said if we taco’ed we would be warmer. So, she folded her body over me, and we weren’t cold anymore. She was a soft shell, and I was the filling.

Mommy is so funny.

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GIVE THE GIFT OF YOU

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We got to make up knock-knock jokes and tell each other. We had staring contest to see who would blink first. We played Rock, paper, scissors. She said they played that back in the olden days. I massaged her feet, because she always complains they hurt when she gets home. She told me stories about silly things she did and thought when she was my age. You know she thought if you ate a watermelon seed that a whole watermelon would grow in your stomach. She told her parents a fib about how the TV fell and broke.

She was jumping around. She said maybe one day she’ll tell Grandma.

I told her that when I grow up, I’m going to buy her her favorite car.

She can live with me and my wife, Zee, and our 10 kids. She does not have to work anymore. But she said she doesn’t want to live with my 10 kids. So, she asked for a house of her own in my backyard. I told her fine, but don’t be running in and out of my house, and don’t slam my door. She has a pretty smile. I like when she laughs and starts to cry. She says, “You’re making me cry real tears, Boy.” This was the best Christmas ever. I think she bought me a race car. I don’t remember, but I wish it would snow every Christmas. If it snowed every Christmas, I would wish Christmas was everyday.

Lema, while cleaning out Jace’s crumb-filled book bag, found his wrinkled-up assignment. With precision and gentle strength, she hand ironed the paper as best she could. She pulled it away from the line of her gushing tears, because she was going to secure this paper like a government document.

Believe me. The “Jaces” in your life are more than satisfied with all the love you carry. The “Marthas” of the world get burned out and grow resentful. The “Marys” walk away with experiences and are appreciated for their time and attention. As you start to make your gift list, spend less money and give more of you: Your beautiful smile and that loud laugh. The look into those marbled eyes. The touch of your warm soft palm rested against the arm of a loved one. You think you want to give others the world, but you are the world to others.

You’re enough, my Sister.

Celebrating Breast Cancer Awareness Month with The Pink Frog Foundation

By Dr. Ondra Krouse Dismukes

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Celebrating Breast Cancer Awareness Month with The Pink Frog Foundation

By Dr. Ondra Krouse Dismukes

Breast cancer awareness month came in with a BANG, literally, as the Pink Frog Foundation hosted its annual night of music, dance, and poetry at the 2021 Pink Frog Affair on Friday, October 1. Not even “the COVID” could dampen the spirits of those participating in this virtual event, and what better way to usher in the holidays than by celebrating and giving thanks for life and love? This is exactly the vibe that the Pink Prog Foundation has brought to life since its inaugural ceremony in 2011. Now, some 10 years later, the Pink Frog Foundation continues to celebrate life and love through this annual celebration.

From the opening step routine performed by Step Afrika to the virtual after-party featuring DJ Stormy, the Pink Frog Affair continued its now ten-year tradition of celebrating the lives of breast cancer survivors and honoring the memory of those who have transitioned from this disease. When asked about the importance of celebrating through a platform of music, dance, and poetry, Pink Frog Foundation Co-Founder Tammy Bolton explains, “Most nonprofit organizations have fundraising breakfasts, luncheons, walks, balls, and galas. We wanted to think outside the box and do something different.” Mission accomplished!

The evening’s festivities featured other entertainment, including classically trained pianist and Professor Emeritus of Music at Spelman College, Dr. Joyce Johnson; Broadway actor, singer, and dancer Russell Joel Brown dancing to “Make Them Hear You;” Saunders Simmons singing “Sentimental Me;” poet Dichotomy performing with guitarist Desmond Champion; and three beautiful ladies known as The Sting Queens performing on violins and bass. These amazing performances merely whet the audience’s palette for the evening’s headline artist, Gospel singer Marvin Sapp, who acknowledged the loss of his wife 11 years ago not to breast cancer, but to another form of the disease.

A 24-year breast cancer survivor herself, Bolton and her husband, Robert - founder of RH Bolton, Inc., a successful public relations and event management agency in Atlanta, Georgia established the Pink Frog Foundation to provide support for breast cancer patients and their families - hence the name Pink, in honor of breast cancer, and Frog, an acronym for Fully Rely on God. To this end, the annual Pink Frog Affair spotlights breast cancer survivors and their stories of triumph. This year’s event presented the testimonies from Wanda Butts Rice, who CONTINUED ON P. 24

Celebrating Breast Cancer Awareness Month with The Pink Frog Foundation

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witnessed being nine months cancer-free after a double mastectomy. Butts thanked Bolton and the Pink Frog Foundation for arranging transportation for her to travel to and from chemotherapy. Sheryl Bogans, a stage three breast cancer survivor, shared the blessing she received from the Pink Frog Foundation in the form of transportation to and from surgery, as well as to and from follow-up treatments, while Andre Redding shared his victory over both breast and prostate cancer in 2017, reminding us that breast cancer is not just a woman’s disease. Still, as rates of breast cancer among African American women remain disproportionate to those among white women - and as the oldest of three girls, the mother of one daughter, and one who was diagnosed with breast cancer with no prior family history Bolton remains steadfast in advising African American women, in particular, on the importance doing monthly breast self-examinations as early as 18 years of age and having annual mammograms as early as possible.

Actor, writer, comedian Jonathan Slocumb returned as this year’s year’s host, while Dr. Jamal Harrison Bryant, Pastor of Newbirth Missionary Baptist Church in Stonecrest, Georgia, served as the Honorary Chair of the 2021 Pink Frog Affair. Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated co-sponsored this year’s event and received the 2021 Pink Frog Legacy Award for its community advocacy of early breast cancer detection through mammograms using mobile mammography units to educate over one million women on breast cancer health. Other corporate sponsors included Amazon, Kroger, and AEE Productions, and A/V Services.

Bolton (pictured center) with husband and co-founder, Robert (pictured far left) and their daughter, Micah, (pictured far right).

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Celebrating Breast Cancer Awareness Month with The Pink Frog Foundation

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Following the Pink Frog Affair, I had the privilege of interviewing Bolton regarding her experiences both as a breast cancer survivor and as the Co-Founder of The Pink Frog Foundation. Here’s our conversation: OKD: This year’s Pink Frog Affair celebrated its 10th anniversary and marked the second consecutive year that you have held the event virtually. How else has the COVID-19 pandemic affected the work of the Pink Frog Foundation?

TB: When the pandemic first hit in March 2020, we had to discontinue our maid service for 4 months until patients were comfortable letting the maid service provider back into their homes. In addition, we provided a one-time grant to a patient who had been furloughed.

OKD: How do you select the participants for this annual event?

TB: At the conclusion of each annual presentation of The Pink Frog Affair, we make note of local, regional, and national talent to be featured for the next year. In addition, we make an attempt to showcase breast cancer survivors who have received our services.

OKD: You were a single woman with no children when you were diagnosed with aggressive inflammatory breast cancer in 1997. 24 years later, how has your journey as a breast cancer survivor affected you as both a wife and a mother?

TB: As a wife, I have not been affected. Nothing changed in my marriage because we were dating when I was diagnosed. As a mother, I was affected from day one. I wanted to breastfeed my newborn daughter. By me only having one breast it was a challenge. My daughter Micah latched on the first couple of days then it became difficult. I became bruised and blistered with no way to switch breasts. The breastfeeding did not last. As a mother and survivor, I am constantly reminding my daughter to try and stay as healthy and continue her self-checks. She can start mammograms as early as 22 years of age (which is 10 years prior to when I was diagnosed).

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Celebrating Breast Cancer Awareness Month with The Pink Frog Foundation

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OKD: According to The Pink Frog Foundation website, your organization has as its mission providing emotional, social, and educational programming and increasing public awareness about the needs and issues facing individuals with breast cancer. What types of educational programming does the Pink Frog Foundation offer?

TB: Annually, I participate in various breast cancer programs, sharing my personal testimony and the services of the Pink Frog foundation. We are currently developing a collaboration with DeKalb County for a breast cancer awareness expo for spring 2022.

OKD: Given the tremendous turnout at this and prior year’s events, The Pink Frog Foundation is obviously impacting the lives of breast cancer patients through necessary physical and emotional support. As the Co-Founder of the organization and a breast cancer survivor, how has the Pink Frog Foundation affected your life?

TB: It gives me a sense of gratitude to be able to help other survivors that are traveling the same road. Also helps keep me on top of the latest protocols for treatment. It is a constant reminder of how far I have come as well as the advances in medicine. I am very thankful to God for his many blessings and his healing power.

OKD: What has been the most valuable lesson you have learned as a breast cancer survivor?

TB: I learned that doctors can only do so much. You must also put your faith and trust in God and know He can do anything but fail.

OKD: What is the future of the Pink Frog Foundation?

TB: The Foundation will continue to raise awareness as well as funds to support breast cancer patients undergoing treatment.

OKD: How can people support the Pink Frog Foundation?

TB: To find out more about The Pink Frog Foundation visit our website at www.thepinkfrogfoundation.org and select the donate button to contribute.

“It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!”

Holiday Decorating with Tiffany Alexander

Continued on p. 28

Continued from p. 27

Setting a sophisticated holiday table doesn’t take a lot, and it's easier than it may seem. While there are people who choose to set their tables year-round, one thing that is truly common is decorating for the fall and Christmas holidays.

“It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!”

When we think of fall décor, typically our first thoughts of color are the traditional, orange, burgundy, mustard yellow, olive greens, and browns.

Some of us like to go outside of the norm, which is perfectly fine! Start with a minimal palette of just two or three colors.

In this picture, a deep rich navy blue was paired with shades of eggplant. Adding white and gold accents brings a nice contrast to the dark.

Don’t be afraid to mix metals!

This is one thing that I absolutely love to do. It's not uncommon in my designs to find a mixture of golds, silvers, and coppers. Let’s talk about the simplicity of the items used for this setting. The DIY napkin rings and chargers I spray painted, along with mixing highs and lows, completed this cost-effective look. Adding the gold acorns as well as the navy-blue velvet and white pumpkins elevated the design to a more glam look.

Continued on p. 29

Continued from p. 28

Oh boy, oh boy, it's Christmas time!!

Yipee! I love Thanksgiving. I look at it as the holiday appetizer; it gets me ready for all the hustle and bustle -- as well as the fabulous lights and decorations -- the next month brings. Over the years, Christmas décor has evolved into many different styles, themes, and colors. Trends may come and go, but the traditional Christmas colors will always remain. Let's look at this table setting that was designed for an intimate dinner party. Here is another example of mixing the metals and patterns. One thing I truly love about this table is being able to pair the 50-year-old white and silver China with a touch of modern gold flatware and bling napkin rings that sit on top of the detailed placemats.

The red goblets, Hershey kiss candy dishes, Christmas floral centerpiece, and the candles with a touch of greenery completed this classic and elegant tablescape. Oh, and the white Christmas Tree trimmed with gold and silver made this dining room dinner ready!

Supplies www.hobbylobby.com www.michaels.com www.dollartree.com www.amazon.com

Step Outside the Box Are you a person who wants to step outside the box? I do love the traditional Christmas colors; however, I am one who loves to be creative! I like to say this table is somewhat simple yet glamorous! If you look back at the first picture from Thanksgiving, I used a couple of the same pieces. Doing this allows you to have a beautiful table that is cost effective. I really wanted a fur table runner and refused to pay the price for what I was finding, so I decided to buy fabric that I caught on sale at Hobby Lobby and made the runner and a bench throw for a fraction of the cost of others.

Once again, I DIY my napkin rings because similar ones I found cost roughly around $10 (I think mine look better, wink.)! I purchased the Christmas picks from Hobby Lobby on a 50% off sale, and it cost me $1.50! The silver snowflakes, which add a nice touch, were purchased from Dollar Tree! Mixing highs and lows with previously used pieces allowed me to design this glam look without breaking the bank. www.zgallerie.com www.macys.com Follow me on IG @inspiredlooksbytiffany Website: www.inspiredlooksbytiffany.com

Healthy Spirit, Healthy Life

By Tanelia Johnson-Evans

In order to have a healthy life, you must first have a healthy spirit. Everything we need, whether we believe it or not, comes from the Lord. We become healthy spiritually by feeding our spirit the word of God; praying daily without ceasing; fasting as led by God; and by reading, studying, and meditating on God’s word, The Holy Bible. Making time for God and spending time with God bring forth growth and a healthy, close relationship with God; but it takes discipline.

Just like growing spiritually takes discipline, so does being healthy. Eating well, especially if you like sweets like I do, can be challenging. I figured out that if I can discipline my mind for a fast, I can discipline my body to eat the right foods if I want to - keywords, want to.

No one would have known from looking at Florence Griffith Joyner, aka Flo Jo, that she was ill.

She was athletic and was beautiful inside and out. Her beauty radiated from inside of her. She set world records in the area of track and field, yet she had an epileptic seizure and died in her sleep. It was so sad. Everyone believed her to be healthy as an ox. Well, at least I did! She was young, only 38 years old, when she passed.

Continued on p. 31

Healthy Spirit, Healthy Life Continued from p. 30

Looking healthy and being healthy are not the same. Humans look upon the outer appearance, but God looks upon the heart - not the physical heart, but the spiritual heart, our innermost thoughts, how we really feel about a person and ourselves. God knows us better than others and better than we know ourselves. We can’t fool God. The most prophetic person in this world, unless given a revelation by God, wouldn't be able to discern your heart. Doctors won’t be able to see it, because they see only your physical heart; God sees your spiritual heart.

Proverbs 17:22: “A joyful heart is the health of the body.” Smile; laugh a little or a lot. “The joy of the Lord is your strength!” “Laughter is like medicine.” We need to laugh sometimes.

Our connection with God brings spiritual health and spiritual wealth. We must be healthy spiritually in order to have a healthy life. You can’t have one without the other. Our souls - our minds, wills, and emotions - are ours, but our spirits belong to God. 1 Corinthians 6:20 reinforces, “For you were bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.” 1 Thessalonians 5:23: May your whole spirit, soul, and body be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus.”

Some people are off the chain spiritually and are overweight physically. That is an imbalance and causes you to operate spiritually and be extremely exhausted after praying and laying hands on others. For so long, Christians (I am totally guilty of it myself) lose sleep, eat unhealthy carb-filled, greasy, fatty foods, get little to no exercise, don’t drink enough fluids like water, are overweight, and put anything in our bodies, going to bed late and waking up early, eating too late at night, and going to bed right after we eat. It has been in the last few years Continued on p. 32

Healthy Spirit, Healthy Life Continued from p. 31

that Christians have figured out that we must take care of the temple that houses the spirit of God in order to go forth in our daily tasks: praying, fasting, and going forth physically in ministry to serve others, but not putting the proper natural fuels in our bodies - i.e. cooking, cleaning, working at our secular jobs - and wondering why God won’t heal us from being tired physically and having diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol.

Romans 12:1 says, “Present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is our reasonable service.” That means that we have to present our bodies to God not just trying to be sinless, but also taking care of it so that it can last long enough to do His will. I would hear folks say, “You can exercise, eat right, drink all the water you want and die by getting hit by a bus or something!” That can happen, but at least you die trying to do what is right.

“God wants us to prosper and be in good health, even as our soul prospers” (3 John 1: 2).

Oh, we have it going on - fasting, praying, laying hands on the sick, cell groups, choir rehearsals, Bible studies, Prayer Meetings, Praise Dancing, studying and reading the Holy Bible, and the list goes on - but we lack taking care of the only one body we will ever have.

All of this starts with discipline. If we can discipline ourselves enough to exercise - or read the word of God, eat right and fast, or pray and drink water - we can have a made-up mind to live a healthy life by making good choices. We must have a balance in and with all things. God gave us all free-will to do as we please, but just know that there are consequences for every decision we make - Godly or ungodly, healthy or unhealthy. The decision is yours!

Continued on p. 33

Healthy Spirit, Healthy Life Continued from p. 32

God’s word says that, “He wishes above all things that we may prosper, be in health even as our souls prosper” (3 John 2). You see, the spiritual and the natural go hand in hand. God also wants us to be in good health, even as our soul prospers. If we are not healthy our body dies, but our spirit lives on.

If we are healthy spiritually, we will be healthy naturally by trusting in God, His grace, and His mercy - knowing that He loves us unconditionally, obeying Him, living to please Him, going to Him not just for what we need and want, but to worship Him in spirit and in truth,knowing that He truly has our backs, thanking Him, and being thankful for the big and the small things, even when we are sad or happy, in the good times and the bad times, considering Him at all times not just going to Him when we need help, but considering Him daily in and for every decision that we need to make, big or small, in all our ways acknowledging Him - and He shall direct our paths.

It is healthy living to put God first and consider Him, most of all loving God in spite of what we go through or how we feel.

God’s word is full of scriptures concerning your spirit and body, health and wealth, having a prosperous life or the life of a pauper, heaven or hell, life and death, etc. God also gives us a choice. Choose you this day how you will serve God. Will it be with a healthy life and healthy spirit or an unhealthy life and broken-down spirit?

Continued on p. 34

Healthy Spirit, Healthy Life Continued from p. 33

I borrowed this quote from the website entitled A Deeper Word: Going Beyond Surface Christianity: “What is a healthy soul? A healthy soul has: A strong mind: A mind that is renewed to think right and make good choices. A surrendered will: A will that says no to its own stubborn way and says yes to God’s will. Stable emotions: Steady emotions in good and bad times” (Reish).

Prayer: Father, in the name of Jesus I ask you to lead us and guide us to what can make us healthy and keep us healthy in every area of our lives. Protect us from the harmful things that are detrimental to our health both physically and spiritually. Help us to speak life and not death because we know that, “death and life are in the power of the tongue.” So, help us to speak life. Help us to speak out and be respectful of His name. Let us know how to by leading us and guiding us through your word to live a healthy lifestyle. Lord, help us to trust you with those areas of our lives and in every area of our lives. Help us to trust and depend on you, even when we feel like we don’t need anyone else because there are times when we feel like we don’t need anyone and sometimes we act as if we don’t need you also! Help us to know that we are helpers of one another and that we need each other. Help us to put our needs and others’ needs before you daily and not forget where we came from physically and spiritually.

Reish, Jim and Janene Reish. “A Healthy Soul.” A Deeper Word: Going Beyond Surface Christianity.

https://www.jimandjanean.com/home/2021/5/17/a-healthy-soul. 17 May 2021.

Tanelia Johnson-Evans, licensed minister and aspiring author, is on a mission to help others live their best life. With the joy of the Lord as her strength, she encourages people with her inspiring words. This former Special Needs ParaEducator wears many hats, but the most important hat she wears is being a mother to her daughter, Amahna Joy Evans.

Dear JW: I hate buying gifts, especially during the holidays and especially for my partner of the past 3 years. He has everything, yet he describes himself as a minimalist. Any gift-giving suggestions for the man in my life who already has everything . . . including me?

Sincerely, Ranita

Thank you for your question, Ranita!

Here are my Top 5 tips for buying gifts for your man: 1.Be practical. Yeah, we all have the same basic needs: food, shelter, clothing...blah, blah, blah; and many of us even have the same desires: Money to feed our wants . . . , and of course to buy more of what we need - you know: food, shelter, clothing . . . blah, blah, blah. The older we get, though life tends to dictate more of our desires; so, Ladies, remember that your man’s age - or level of maturity - often dictates the type of gift you should give him.

2. Money! This is a no-brainer, so stop overthinking this one, Ladies. For you, gift -giving may be about the thought behind it or the presentation, but think about it this way: Giving the gift of money actually means you thought enough about your guy to present him with something he actually can use; and who knows, maybe he’ll use it on you.

3. Gift cards! Here’s another gift idea ladies tend not to want to use because it seems impersonal. We know, Ladies, you appreciate the effort we put into the gift, but we’re talking about men. Older and younger men, alike, appreciate gifts we can use, so a gift card to your guy’s favorite store says “Here, Baby; enjoy yourself, on me!

4. Younger guys may want more substantial gifts - like clothing, jewelry, hardware, electronics, etc. If you’re thinking of clothing or jewelry, sure, you can give him what you’d like to see him wear . . . once, and take the hint! If he wears or uses it frequently, then that’s a hint that you’ve done well and he likes the gift. If he wears or uses it once, or never, then take that hint, too!

5. Sex! Come on, Ladies; I’m just sayin’ . . . You can thank me later!

Happy Holidays!

-JW

Toyshebia Napper

COMMUNITY

CORNER “The nature of humanity, its essence, is to feel another’s a pain as one’s own, and to act to take that pain away. There is nobility in compassion, a beauty in empathy, a grace in forgiveness.” John Connolly

It feels so good to be back again! This season, we are in the holiday spirit. It’s time to break out the crazy Halloween costumes, argue over Thanksgiving menu ideas, drag out the Christmas decorations, or decide if you want to celebrate at all. Now, wait! I know you are excited just thinking about the holidays and probably have turkey and cranberry decorations in the dining room or are dragging Rudolph out of the attic. Close your eyes; can you hear kids’ laughter, smell the food cooking throughout the house, and feel the wrapping paper beneath your fingers? While others, myself included, are still trying to figure out how we are at the end of the year so soon and why we are still in the middle of a pandemic. Grab your comfortable pair of shoes and let us take a stroll around these Community Corner streets as we focus on compassion and kindness for others during this season.

According to Merriam-Webster, compassion is defined as a sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it. The holidays bring scenes of smiling faces, decorations, celebrations, memories, and gatherings with family and friends. Let’s be honest. For some people, the season conveys painful memories, heartache, and longing. The last two years have taken a toll on us and the world. As we prepare for the upcoming holiday season, remember the benefits of giving, volunteerism, and simple compassion. The holidays are about more than gifts, spending, and food comas. Don’t get me wrong; please enjoy time with loved ones and embrace love, joy, and peace; but let us bring compassion for others back to our community, nation, and the world.

So, what does compassion look like in the community? It costs nothing to share a kind or encouraging word, hold the door for the person coming in behind you, or have a little extra patience with the overworked customer service provider. We can take it a step further by

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Toyshebia Napper

COMMUNITY

CORNER Continued from p. 37

participating in acts of charity and compassion; one of the easiest ways is to donate or volunteer with a non-profit organization. Take time to think outside of the box when you pick an organization this year. There are many amazing non-profit organizations in the community changing lives, and there are various populations in need such as foster kids, medical/frontline personnel, and senior citizens. Find a local organization to spend time or money while making a difference.

A great resource to locate various charities based on location and interest is www.charitynavigator.com This website allows you to search based on location, age, population, etc. Also, you can simply google local charitable organizations and it will provide a listing of organizations in your area. Remember, volunteerism not only benefits the people you help, but it benefits you on an emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual level. The world today has too much negativity and darkness. Why not be the light and positivity amid chaos and pain? The compassion and kindness that you send out into the world today will return multiplied when you need it the most.

“Use your voice for kindness, your ears for compassion, your hands for charity, your mind for truth, and your heart for love.” – Anonymous

Credits: Connolly, John. “The Killing Kind.” QuotesLyfe.com. https://www.quoteslyfe.com/quote/The-nature-of-humanityits-essence-is-135265 Daily Inspirational Quotes. https://www.dailyinspirationalquotes.in/2014/04/use-your-voice-for-kindness-yourears-for-compassion-your-hands-for-charity-your-mind-for-truth-and-your-heart-for-love-anonymous-selfimprovement-quotes/ Merriam-webster.com. 2021. Definition of COMPASSION. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/pleasure> [Accessed 2 October 2021].

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Pretty TALK SURVIVING THE HOLIDAYS AFTER A BAD BREAKUP Recently, in our Pretty Smart Chics Facebook group, one of our pretties joked about how she shed an extra 200lbs. She broke up with her man. She spoke about how she felt free like a bird.

However, she is concerned about the upcoming holidays and doesn't want a case of the holiday blues. Fortunately, the pretties in our PSC community were long on advice for her to keep moving forward on her journey.

Here are PSC's Top Five Ways to Survive the Holidays after a Bad Break Up 1. Embrace the pain of your breakup. The sooner you acknowledge that your feelings are hurt, the sooner you can do the work to get over it.

2. Channel your anger into your workouts. Use this negative energy towards something positive. Instead of eating ice cream, join a gym. Start that kickboxing class you wanted to try. Envision your ex’s head as target practice while in your next class.

3. The first rule of a breakup is don’t talk about your breakup. As hard as it may seem, try not to mention your ex’s name. The goal is to enjoy the holiday season without going into the fetal position.

4. Start a new Hobby, Start a new business, focus your time and energy on something positive and could turn a profit.

5. Release the pain. Unforgiveness only hurts you. Your ex will have moved on with his life while you are still fuming, hurt and angry. If you are like my friend, I know you want the upper hand over him. Remember, the sweetest revenge is living a better life. Forgive and Move one.

CONTINUED ON P. 39

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Chapter 2

Loren's Story

ZEUS CHRONICLES OF A SEX GOD

Loren's Story

ZEUS CHRONICLES OF A SEX GOD

"LOVE SUCKS!”

By Jay L. Harris Loren stayed through the next set. She kept getting flushed with heat under the intense stare of Zeus. A few of the women sitting at the table next to her noticed Zeus looking at her. They commented and rolled their eyes.

“I know he is not staring at her!” one commented.

“Girl, please; Zeus is not interested in an elephant like her,” the other responded.

The women looked like a young starlet, with the long weave flowing down their backs, designer clothes, and bags. Loren just ignored their comments and tried not to compare her looks with theirs. She remembers when she was a size 10, with a tiny waist and hips and butt that went on for days, but over the past few years, she has grown into a plump size 22. She erased the thoughts from her head, and she focused on enjoying the music. She thought about her grandmother saying, “Let people talk about you because it causes God to bless you.”

She resisted the urge to flirt back with Zeus just to show those skinny heifers that a plus-sized woman can do anything they can, only better. She worked very hard to build up her confidence.

She wasn't going to let some wannabe video vixen get the best of her.

CONTINUED ON P. 44

Continued from p. 43

Loren closed her eyes and listened to the music. The band was playing their rendition of Marvin’s Gaye "Let’s Get it On." She listened intently while allowing the music to soak deeply into her psyche. She let her imagination drift to thoughts of Zeus running his fingers on her lumpy flesh. She envisioned him kissing her ever so softly on the nape of the neck before he devoured her like she was his prey. She licked her lips at the thought of his body touching hers.

She hadn’t realized that she had got caught up in herself until the waitress set down a glass of White Zinfandel in front of her.

“Courtesy of Mr. Zeus,” said the perky waitress.

Loren smiled and said, “Thank you.” She looked on stage at Zeus. She raised her glass to say “Thank you.” He was playing intensely while his gaze was setting Loren’s skin ablaze. She took a gulp of the wine he sent her, trying to cool her flesh.

“Well, this will be our last song of the night. It's an original. I hope you enjoy it. It is titled “Sunny Side Up,” Zeus spoke into the microphone.

Loren took this as her cue that it was time to leave. She could not stand to listen and watch the man play another song. She was already battling with moisture in her panties.

The fact that he didn’t remember her made it a better reason to leave.

“Here’s to being daring and free," she thought as she gulped down the last of her wine.

As she leaves, she catches the eye of Zeus one last time. He mouthed to her, “You leaving?”

She nodded yes to his question. She pranced to the back of the club to find Valerie near the bar speaking with some of her guests.

“Girl, you leaving?” Valerie asked.

“Yes, I have an early day tomorrow, so I am going to call it a night,” Loren said.

“Okay, Girl. Did you exchange numbers with George?” Valerie asked.

Loren's Story “I didn’t have time; Zeus was too busy blocking!” Loren said, rolling her eyes.

“What?! Really? Valerie rolled her eyes too.

ZEUS CHRONICLES OF A SEX GOD

CONTINUED ON P. 45

Continued from p. 44

"You know, Valerie, if George is a good man, why are you not trying to snatch him up?" asked Loren. She thought she would ask since she overheard the guys' conversation as they walked away from the table.

"Umm, What? I guess I never thought about George in that way," responded Valerie.

"Maybe it's time for you to take a second look at him. You know good men are hard to find," said Loren.

"I know that's right, Girl. Well you make sure to drive home safely," said Valerie.

“Sure will,” Loren trailed off. As Loren headed out the door of the club, a young woman walked up to her.

“My boss wanted me to give you this,” said the woman handing over the note.

Loren opened the note to read that Zeus wanted to spend time with her. She knew the perfect spot. Taking out a pen, she quickly scribbled the address on the back of his note.

“Have him to meet here," she said handing the note back to the young lady.

Loren walked out the door with a bright smile on her face.

Loren's Story

ZEUS CHRONICLES OF A SEX GOD

By Jay L. Harris

Jay L Harris is an author, blogger, and shepreneur. She is the author of the highly successful romance novel Unlikely Love. She owns the global brand

CONTINUED ON P. 46

Jay L Harris Creative Werks, a digital branding firm. She is also the founder & Creative Director of Pretty Smart Chics.

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