Sterling Community Matters March 2018

Com mmunn ty ty Mattters Sterling Presbyterian Manor

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Engaging at Every Age

We will be celebrating Older American’s Month and National Nursing Home Week in an upcoming issue of Community Matters. The Older Americans Month theme is “Engage at Every Age.” If you have ways that you are intentionally staying engaged in activities you’ve always loved, using technology or if you just want to tell the world what you love about living in your senior living community, we want to share the story.

Contact Cindy Moore and your story could be featured in an upcoming edition of Community Matters.

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Sterling Presbyterian Manor’s Art is Ageless® exhibit and reception features senior artists

March 2018

Since the beginning of time, creative expression has brought joy to both its creators and those who experience their art. The Art is Ageless® program offers senior artists the opportunity to share and display their artwork and reaffirms the agelessness of human creativity.

This month, March 19-23, their works are on display at Sterling Presbyterian Manor. Entries are due by March 16 at 3 p.m.

“It’s inspiring to see the beautiful pieces these seniors have created,” said Cindy Moore, director of marketing and admissions. “The joy it brings to them and others is wonderful, and that’s something we want to celebrate and share with the entire Sterling community.”

The Art is Ageless exhibit will feature works from local artists who are 65 and older, including a few Presbyterian Manor residents. The public is welcome to visit the community to view the exhibit of acrylics, oils, photography and various other mediums, ranging from amateur to professional levels.

In addition to the exhibit, Sterling Presbyterian Manor will honor local senior artists during a reception at the community from 1 to 2:30 p.m., Friday, March 23.

For more information, contact Cindy Moore at 620-278-3651 or cmoore@pmma.org.

Fostering a ‘bucket list’ state of mind

Residents at Presbyterian Manor often talk about things they wish they could do again, and things they used to love to do but now cannot for various reasons. Donna Grizzle, activity director, decided to facilitate residents getting to do some of these things through a bucket list activity last year. It was so successful, she continued it this year.

Donna hung “Daily Bucket List” posters throughout the community, reminding residents to think about

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Community Matters is published monthly for residents and friends of Sterling Presbyterian Manor by Presbyterian Manors of

501(c)(3) organization. Learn more at PresbyterianManors.org.

Mike Rajewski, executive director Cindy Moore, marketing director To submit or suggest articles for this publication, contact cmoore@pmma.org.

Telephone: 620-278-3651 Fax: 620-278-3581 Address: 204 W. Washington, Sterling, KS 67579-1614 Our mission: We provide quality senior services guided by Christian values.

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what they want to do each day, and go do it!

For some residents, the reminders helped them remember to attend a favorite activity, but others wanted to do more.

“Residents would tell me of places they wanted to go and hobbies they wish they could do once again,” said Donna. Those desires sparked her personal mission for 2018—helping residents make bucket lists and check those items off this year.

First, Donna worked with each resident to fill out a bucket list. Next, she compiled the information. Now she’s finding sponsors and creative ways to fulfill the bucket list wishes.

“If we’re able to complete all these bucket list wishes, we’ll be doing many fun things this year,” Donna said.

The bucket list wishes include: going on a cruise to the Bahamas, taking a hot air balloon ride over wine country, going bowling, riding a motorcycle, touring Japan and Thailand, taking the train across the continental US, eating angel food cake, watching Sonja Henie skate again, exploring the Alaskan wilderness, vacationing in Hawaii,

learning about my home state of Georgia, playing golf, going fishing, going dancing, watching a horse race, touring Europe, riding a horse, walking where Jesus walked and viewing the changing of the guards at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.

“Obviously, these are not all things that can be done literally, but I am confident that with the use of the internet, taking visual tours, watching documentaries, using the Wii, taking carriage rides, and utilizing many props and fun themed decorations, we will fulfill all our Bucket List wishes this year,” Donna said.

She plans to provide updates in the newsletter as items are checked off throughout the year as the Sterling Presbyterian Manor residents live life to the fullest.

How to be supportive to friends experiencing loss Loss is an inescapable part of life.

Whether we’ve lost someone to death, or are going through a living loss such as divorce, retirement, a life-threatening illness, a debilitating injury or a lifealtering condition like dementia or addiction, support can make all the difference in helping us summon the strength, faith and courage to fight our way back into life.

Although we may want to reach out and lend a hand of support to our friends, family members and colleagues who are grieving, we’re not always sure of how.

Most of us could benefit from an advanced course on “Support.” As someone who has worked with bereaved individuals, families and communities for 35 years, I believe that being there for someone in their time of need is one of the most caring, courageous and sacred things we can do.

Let this list of “Dos and Don’ts” guide you to say and do the kinds of things that have proven genuinely helpful to those who are grieving:

Do • Express your condolences. A simple, sincere “I’m so sorry for your loss,” a soft hand on a shoulder or a caring hug are usually perfect.

• Be present. Stay in touch even when others begin to disappear.

• Show you genuinely care through kind words and actions.

It’s OK to also show that you care with your tears of sorrow.

• Be a safe harbor for others to express their feelings. Allow them to grieve without fear of being judged, analyzed, fixed, cured, saved or healed.

• Use your listening skills. Listen patiently, and ask open-ended questions to see how you can be helpful.

• Give grieving individuals every opportunity to talk about those who have passed. If given the chance, you can also tell stories acknowledging the lives of the people they lost.

• When they bring up the loss, show them you were listening, and that you genuinely care.

• Ask their preferences. Ask them how they would like your support on special dates such as birthdays or “angel-versaries” (days of their passing).

• Stay humble, flexible, relaxed and at ease when you’re with those who are grieving.

• Assist them in getting the support they need.

• Encourage them to ease back in.

In the case of grieving colleagues, encourage them to ease their way back into work a few hours at a time until they can handle longer stretches of sustained activity.

• Invite them (without the least bit of pressure) to join you for lunch coffee, or a walk.

And now, DON’T: • Don’t assume you know how they feel or what they want.

• Don’t put a psychological, religious or spiritual spin on their losses.

• Refrain from anything that might be interpreted as a “Hurry up.” Don’t tell them, “Time heals all wounds” or any similar types of advice.

• Don’t give unsolicited advice or play “shrink” with them.

• Don’t compare your loss to theirs.

• Don’t suggest a quick fix to take away the pain.

Credit: Adobe Stock

• Don’t take it personally if they’re not responding to you in the way you’d hoped. Remember, it’s not about you!

• Don’t be insensitive. Don’t allow your own feelings of helplessness, impatience or intolerance of their continuing sorrow to cause you to say something insensitive.

• Don’t ask how they’re doing or pose any other casual question.

Tell them they continue to be in your thoughts and prayers.

• Don’t control the conversation.

Let them take the lead on what they wish to talk about.

• Don’t avoid, gloss over, act cute, change the subject or pretend that nothing has happened.

• Don’t smother them with too much caregiving attention.

• Don’t ignore your own triggers.

Don’t hide, deny, repress, avoid, displace, dumb down or “medicate” the feelings of sorrow, anger, or guilt that may have been triggered by their losses.

• Don’t make executive decisions about what they need without consulting them.

(Editor’s note:This essay is the latest in a series from author and speaker Ken Druck, based on work in his book Courageous Aging, which is about how all people can make peace with, and find joy in, every stage of life.)

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Sterling Presbyterian Manor 204 W. Washington Sterling, KS 67579-1614

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Let the Library come to you

The Sterling Public Library is partnering with Sterling Presbyterian Manor to provide books and other resources to residents. Every Wednesday from 1:30 to 2:30 p.m., Amy Gard, Library director, will visit, bringing books for the residents to check out and taking requests. State library cards and eBook accounts are available for those who are technologically savvy. Books are checked out for two weeks. Books on tape, DVDs, ancestry accounts, history about Sterling and Kansas, and having someone come read in person are all services provided to the residents.

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