Newton Presbyterian Manor
DECEMBER 2019
Tom Buxton receives Duane Smith Caregiver of the Year Award
On November 14, Tom Buxton, husband of resident Shirley Buxton, received the 8th annual Duane Smith Caregiver Award from the Central and Western Kansas Chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association at its fall conference. The award recognizes caregivers who support individuals with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia. Following is an excerpt of the nomination that our staff submitted earlier this fall. Tom Buxton’s caregiving role began while he and his wife Shirley lived and owned a business together in Woodward, Okla. As business partners and best friends, they enjoyed spending much of their work and play time together. Tom Buxton with his award When Shirley’s dementia was diagnosed, he cared for her at home, as he had all of their years, eventually becoming a full-time caregiver. They later moved to Kansas to have the assistance of their children and the memory care team at Newton Presbyterian Manor. While they were still at home, Tom said there were several months that his wife would often wake up in the middle of the night terrified, insisting that her mother had been in an accident and they needed to go find her. Night after night, Tom would get up and get dressed to take Shirley to the ER entrance of their small town hospital. They would walk in the door, greet BUXTON - continued on page 2
Pastor Jeanne Bergren joins team as new chaplain Our community has been blessed to add Pastor Jeanne Bergren to our staff as the new chaplain.
Jeanne will continue to serve as the senior pastor at Golden Plains Free Methodist Church, where she has served for the past 14 years. Her favorite book in the Bible is the Book of Romans and her favorite verse is Romans 12:1. Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Jeanne is a diehard K-State fan and cherishes her time with family, which includes “three of the most awesome grandchildren.” Welcome to the Newton Presbyterian Manor family, Jeanne! ◆
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the staff and walk every hallway so that Shirley could be certain that her mother wasn’t there. Once satisfied that her mom was ok, she would relax and they could head home to sleep. The staff of the ER grew to expect them nearly every night. Though not specifically trained in Alzheimer’s care at the time, Tom instinctively knew that Shirley’s feelings needed to be validated and that he had to enter her world to help her make sense of what she perceived around her. He often tells us that some days he’s here as her dad, some days her husband and some days a stranger. He takes on the role that helps her feel at home and safe, sacrificially giving up his desire for his wife to know him for who he really is. When a new Memory Care promotion was created for Newton Presbyterian Manor, Tom was quick to share his praise and comments about living as a caregiver for someone with this disease. Their wedding photos and some of his quotes appeared in the piece which has been circulated widely. Tom says, “Before we were married 59 years ago, I promised Shirley’s dad I would take care of her and keep her safe. When I realized keeping her at home with me was not keeping my promise, we moved to Presbyterian Manor. It’s the right place for us. I know that.” It’s that dedication to his wife and
her best interests that have endeared him to our staff, neighbors and family members. In fact, it was a fellow family member of someone who visits for day services only who has observed Tom and suggested we make this nomination. Newton Presbyterian Manor employees say this about Tom: “From the encounters and interactions that I have had, I can say that Tom is very patient and compassionate with Shirley even on her more difficult days. He is always positive and enthusiastic in his tone. If you have a conversation with them or notice his conversations as he is pushing her around the Manor, Tom will always include her in every conversation even though she cannot always respond. Tom is very considerate of her feelings, and it is amazing to watch him interact with Shirley. I think one of the most important parts of being a caregiver is to always treat your loved ones with dignity and respect, as they cannot control the progression of this disease, and Tom does that in all of the ways I mentioned.” —Niki Mullin, administrative services assistant “Tom is here to see Shirley every day for several hours. He helps her at lunch, takes her to the patio or on walks and just spends quality time with her. He is extraordinarily attentive, with an eye for what she needs. For example, he noticed that Shirley was watching me closely one
day and he knew that she may be associating me with someone they knew in the past. He brought Shirley to me and talked with me as if Shirley knew me and may be able to connect those dots. It was a special conversation.” —Gwendolyn Gould, LPN “When I meet Tom in the hall or at the coffee bar and ask how he is, he will tell me, ‘Well, Noelle, I don’t quite know. I haven’t been to see my dear wife just yet.’ His life centers on the tender loving care he can share with her daily. When he pushes her in the wheelchair for a long walk through the building, he pushes with one hand so that he can walk beside her, which is no small feat. I asked if he needed some help, but no, he said. He just wants to be where he can see her lovely face. Oh, and his peanut butter cream pie is a hit every time he brings it in, which is often as it is Shirley’s favorite. She discovered the recipe on a card in their Oklahoma gas bill years ago and when she no longer was able to follow the recipe, Tom took over, and he’s been making it for years. ‘Shirley loves her sweets,’ Tom says. When I visited with them today, they were having lunch and all the while, she had a cinnamon roll clutched in her left hand. Tom says that he and Shirley traveled often for their business and they were always on the hunt for the best cinnamon roll in northwest BUXTON - continued on page 7
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NEWTON Presbyterian Manor
316-283-5400 ◆ Fax: 316-284-5900 1200 E. Seventh Newton, KS 67114-2862 NewtonPresbyterianManor.org
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COMMUNITY MATTERS | December 2019
Community Matters
is published monthly for residents and friends of Newton Presbyterian Manor by Presbyterian Manors of Mid-America, Inc., a not-for-profit 501(c)(3) organizaton.
To submit or suggest articles: ndickinson@PMMA.org Marc Kessinger, executive director Noelle Dickinson, marketing director
OUR MISSION: To provide quality senior services guided by Christian values.
‘Tis the season for favorite traditions Staff members from Newton Presbyterian Manor recently reflected on Christmases past and shared some of their favorite holiday traditions.
“My favorite Christmas tradition was traveling to Hutchinson on Christmas Eve and then waking up and traveling out to western Kansas on Christmas morning to be with family. We did everything from attending midnight mass to eating at our family’s restaurant in Garden City. Even though those 48 hours were extremely busy, I will be forever grateful for all the wonderful memories we made throughout the years.” —Alex Ramos, Wellness Director “When my children were younger, we would pick a different country and find out how they celebrate Christmas. We would make that country’s meal for ours and the kids would do research and tell us about that country’s traditions. We would add a decoration, (usually their Santa Claus), that symbolized that country, too. We had some interesting food.” —Linda Smith LPN, Haury Place “This one memory stands out: my family would all gather for an early family dinner on Christmas Eve. Then we would walk together to our church for Christmas Eve service, and afterward we would return home to open gifts.” — Chaplain Jeanne Bergren “Through the years in our family, several of us worked in health care (and still do) and my father was an over-the-road truck driver, so he was gone a lot. Our holidays were usually celebrated on a time
and day when all family members could be together. So it was rare that we celebrated on the actual day. But when we did do our family get-togethers, it was a lot of fun! We would catch up on everyone’s lives, celebrate events/children and we would eat a feast of turkey, mashed potatoes, a vegetable, homemade bread and cinnamon rolls made by our mother (and later on by a couple of my sisters who picked up how to do it from our mother), and pies galore! When my mother would make bread, we would have rolls, loaves of bread, cinnamon rolls and fried bread with butterscotch icing. After the meal, we would joke and laugh and dance! Depending on the weather, we would play touch football or basketball. The boys always found time to work on someone’s car that needed an oil change, or a fuel pump, etc. At times, we would invite aunts, uncles and cousins to join. So, at one time there may be 24 or up to 30 people in the house at one time! It was a blast! Sure miss those days since my parents are both gone now. But, when we can, we get together and do it all over again!” —Lou Forell, QA nurse
“Every year on Christmas Eve, my family gets together and bakes and decorates the sugar cookies that we leave out for Santa. In the evening, my mom, siblings and I all open our surprise movie that my mom picks out every year for us to watch together while we drink hot chocolate on the couch.” —Briana Worley, CMA/mentor, Haury Place “We set a day after Thanksgiving to decorate for Christmas as a family. TRADITIONS - continued on page 5 Newton Presbyterian Manor | A PMMA COMMUNITY
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Events abound in December; see you there! December is full of concerts, programs, special meals, caroling, party visits and much more!
NEW TON
Presby te
Please check your calendar so you don’t miss something that will make the Christmas season for you. Bulletin boards will also note events that are added as the month goes along, as often we have special requests after December 1. Merry Christmas! Enjoy!
RECIPE FOR:
An award-winning slice of retirement
Art is Ageless Reveal Party – Friday, Dec. 6, 2:30-3:30 p.m. Main Dining Room Please join us as we reveal the 2020 Art is Ageless calendar and meet the local artists who contributed. Festive reception food and fun are a bonus! Pie offer through December! Don’t forget the holiday pie offer for all who book an appointment with Noelle Dickinson, director of marketing, by Dec. 31. You’ll get an update on the campus and take home a homemade pie to bake for your family!
INGREDIENTS: 4 cups of the way you want to live 3 cups of peace of mind
2 tbsp. of exercise classes A pinch of culinary indulgence Sprinkle of volunteerism
1 cup of an active lifestyle
Fold in neighbors and friends
1 cup of healthy living 1 cup of spiritual enrichment DIRECTIONS: 1/2 cup of worry-free home maintenance Top with a generous serving 3 tbsp. of fun-filled social events 3 tbsp. of life-long learning
of Christian values.
Christmas Dinner Menu Join us on Tuesday, December 24, starting at 11:30 a.m. Reservations for family members will be accepted through Dec. 23.
• Baked sweet potato • Green bean casserole • Cream cheese corn
• Glazed ham
• Dinner rolls and honey butter
• Prime rib (carved to order online) with horseradish sauce
• Variety of pies and cakes
• Scalloped potatoes
• Cranberry salad ◆
Executive Director Marc Kessinger with Employee of the Month Clarice McCartney.
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rian M an or
COMMUNITY MATTERS | December 2019
Bravo of the Month:
Clarice McCartney Bravo of the Month goes to Clarice McCartney from Claassen House resident Teresa Bachman: “Clarice dropped what she was doing to take me to my friend’s funeral when I decided at that minute that I wanted to go. I really appreciated that.” Making things happen for people is what Clarice is all about—thanks Clarice! ◆
TRADITIONS - continued from page 3
The tree, the whole house, outside, etc.” —Krystal Duerksen, RN, Utz House “We have a large family and if we all get together, there is easily over 100 people (and still growing). We get together for all holidays but Christmas Eve is the only holiday that my grandma expects everyone to be there. (If you don’t make it, you have an entire year trying to make it up to her). We have the best meal time and she makes the best ham loaf, zwieback rolls, homemade red candied pickles, graham cracker pudding and so much more. Once supper is done, some help with dishes, some keep the kids entertained and the others get current on how everyone is
doing. Santa shows up and we have all the little kids get their gifts and of course get pictures. My grandma is up next. She opens all her gifts, Dr. Pepper, pictures of grandkids and great grandkids and money are just a few of her favorites. This is my favorite time of year. I love getting together with my family and seeing how all the kids have grown and just spending that time with the people I love.” — Melinda Ebersole, Director of Life Enrichment “Our family Christmas tradition is that we load up in the car and go look at Christmas lights and stop for hot cocoa. I now carry this on with my grandchildren.” —Gladys Conner, Life Enrichment, Haury Place
Zero-deficiency party
Thanks to Presbyterian Manors of Mid-America, we recognized our assisted living neighborhood’s zero-deficiency survey with a fun celebration earlier this fall. Tacos Ana’s brought the taco truck and Salted Creamery wheeled her cart into the dining room for yummy local food. Royal blue t-shirts for each employee tell the world, “We have to brag about zero tags!” Many from the PMMA leadership team were here to celebrate with our staff, which was so appreciated. ◆
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COMMUNITY MATTERS | December 2019
“One of my favorite Christmas traditions with my family is to go out the day after Thanksgiving and choose a Christmas tree, take the tree home and decorate the tree and the house that day.” —Lee Ann Carey, RN, Claassen House “My grandma makes homemade potato soup only once a year as she hates to cook, but she makes the best potato soup.” —Brittany Jaso, CMA/mentor, Claassen House “A favorite Christmas tradition for my family is making South Indian curry and rice for Christmas dinner. My dad grew up as a missionary kid in India, so we pull out the old worn recipe cards and honor those family memories with a meal we all love.” —Noelle Dickinson, Director of Marketing ◆
Veterans Day at Newton Presbyterian Manor More than 120 veterans, guests, residents and employees celebrated veterans day over a pancake breakfast. Guests lingered with coffee and a second stack of pancakes, catching up with neighbors and friends. Heart and Soul Hospice made the event extra special by pinning each veteran with a special pin for the occasion. â—†
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Oklahoma. The bigger and sweeter the better! He still brings cinnamon rolls to his love.” —Noelle Dickinson, director of marketing Tom and Shirley Buxton have been blessed with a strong marriage and a loving friendship for over 60 years now. Tom continues to provide the love and companionship that his wife needs and that our Newton Presbyterian Manor team has been inspired by for the last four years. It is a privilege to share this nomination for the Duane Smith Caregiver Award. Congratulations for receiving this much-deserved honor, Tom!
Tom & Shirley’s Frozen Peanut Butter Cream Pie 1 pkg. (3 oz.) cream cheese (Double & use half of an 8 oz. is even better!) 1 c. powdered sugar 1 c. crunchy peanut butter 1/3 c. milk 12 oz. Cool Whip (1.5 small tubs)
thoroughly.
1 graham cracker pie shell
2. Fold in Cool Whip (fold – do not stir). Spoon into pie shell. Sprinkle chocolate or butterscotch chips on top as desired.
Chocolate chips or butterscotch chips for topping 1. Soften cream cheese and beat in powdered sugar. Stir in peanut butter. Slowly stir in milk, blending
Sel flessLove c e l e b r a t i n g
This holiday season, be an angel to a senior in need. Make a donation to our Good Samaritan Program, which assists PMMA residents who have outlived their financial resources through no fault of their own.
To earn your wings, stop by our front desk or visit giving.presbyterianmanors.org. A bell will be added to our Christmas tree in your honor.
3. Put immediately in freezer; thaw a few minutes before serving. ◆
Caregiver Support Group meeting Our Caregiver Support Group meets the first Thursday of each month from 12 to 1 p.m. in the Presbyterian Manor library. If you’d like a complimentary lunch, please contact Noelle Dickinson at 316-283-5400 or ndickinson@pmma.org by the day before the group meeting. You may go through the buffet/salad bar after 11:30 a.m. and join the group in the library. December’s meeting is Thursday, Dec. 5. ◆ Newton Presbyterian Manor | A PMMA COMMUNITY
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NEWTON Presbyterian Manor
1200 E. Seventh Newton, KS 67114-2862 RETURN SERVICE REQUESTED
Our Mission: to provide quality senior services guided by Christian values Like us on Facebook to stay updated on news and events.
Every gift to Presbyterian Manor makes a difference. As we enter this holiday season, we recognize the gifts of our many donors across the PMMA system. Below are the names of donors who have given $50 or more to Newton Presbyterian Manor between July 1 and September 30, 2019. Mr. Richard and Mrs. Jeannette Alumbaugh
Mr. Frank H. Chesky
Mrs. Evelyn L. Gardner
Dr. and Mrs. Colin Bailey
Dillons First Presbyterian Church of Newton
Kansas Department of Transportation
Ms. Jill Beckham
You, too, can leave a mark on Newton Presbyterian Manor with your gift during this holiday season. Stop by the front desk or make a gift online, www.giving.presbyterianmanors.org. â—†
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COMMUNITY MATTERS | December 2019