Topeka Presbyterian Manor
Moments define a life FEBRUARY 2022
A short history of Valentine’s Day Many people know that Feb. 14 was once a day when Catholics celebrated the life of St. Valentine, a third-century Christian martyr. But how did it transform into a holiday that celebrates romantic love? Some scholars point to Geoffrey Chaucer, who authored “The Canterbury Tales” during the Middle Ages. He wrote, “For this was on seynt Volantynys day. Whan euery bryd comyth there to chese his make” (for this was on St. Valentine’s Day, when every bird comes to choose his mate”). European nobility began sending love notes during “mating season,” and eventually the trend caught on. The mass production of Valentine’s cards eventually secured the tradition. In the intervening centuries, the celebration of Valentine’s Day grew to include not just romantic interests, but friends and schoolmates. In the 1900s, the holiday began to be widely celebrated in schools, thanks in part to marketing efforts by Hallmark. Perhaps you helped your child decorate a shoebox to use as a mailbox for their collection of Valentine’s cards. As the popularity of the secular holiday grew, the influence of St. Valentine diminished. In 1969, the Catholic Church removed the feast of St. Valentine from the liturgical calendar, largely because little is known about the third-century priest. However, he is still considered a saint of the church. u
By Greg Schmidt, Chaplain
NOTE: Each month, we feature a column from one of PMMA’s community chaplains in honor of our faith-based roots. This month, we’re featuring Greg Schmidt, chaplain for Heart & Soul Hospice in Wichita and Newton Presbyterian Manor. Have you noticed that every Hallmark movie follows the same basic algorithm? Here’s how it goes: A princess-damsel presents with some sort of professional or social dilemma. In walks a socially awkward, wannabe prince-hero who demonstrates the desire to provide support or answers. His advances are, of course, rebuffed. A second “Captain Obvious” prince-snob rises to the challenge, but in his rush to care for the princess, manifests an arrogant, superior, you-know-youneed-me spirit. While at first the princess foolishly longs for the attention of Captain Obvious, ever so slowly over the course of the movie she falls in love with Mr. Wannabe’s cute little nerdy self. They finally kiss (it never happens until the end). The rocket’s red glare engulfs the sky. And they live happily ever after in Mayberry. Or is that Whoville? My response to Hallmark’s
Memories – continued on page 2
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Memories – continued from page 1 oversimplification is best stated by Remy, the Disney character in the movie “Ratatouille” who said, “The only thing predictable about life is its unpredictability.” Real life is not simple. Or predictable. It has to be understood over the course of years, not moments. Who knew that the trick to life is living long enough to view unpredictability as your friend? Having said that, it is the “moments” – all added together – that define the life! When family and friends gather for funeral or memorial services, they recount a lifetime of moments otherwise known as “the dash.” The “dash” is that symbol on a tombstone that is centered between the birth and the death. I’m sure your family is like mine and exactly what we remember about someone’s “dash” may differ from person to person, which makes total sense to me, since none of us approach the exact same story or experience at the exact same time, perspective or history. For example, seven members of my wife’s family tried to remember their Grandma Honey’s
Christmas tree. We’re talking about 30-50-year-old memories here! And guess what? There were seven strongly held “I specifically remember …” perspectives. Some remembered a silver tinsel tree illuminated by a multi-colored rotating disc (ahh, the 60s!). Still others remembered a pink flocked tree (ahh, the 70s!). Who was right? They all were! What had to be figured out was what time period was being remembered and/or discussed, because at some point throughout their collective childhood experiences she had both! The greatest joy of being a Hospice Chaplain and a Heart & Soul Hospice Team member is helping families remember – and celebrate! – their loved one’s “dash”! When disputes arise among family
members, I try and remind those willing to listen that it really doesn’t matter who is “right” … and that it’s still quite possible no one is “wrong.” Why? Because our memories are about what is precious and inspirational to us individually! Such memories become our foundational and motivational reflections about those we’ve loved. Why is that important? Because all of us want our lives and the lives of those we’ve loved to matter! We want our cherished memories to be about living, not dying … even … or especially when … we’re dying! So, we search for joy and seek to eradicate pain! We look for promise and hope and peace. And, even when we’re vulnerable, we open our lives to unpredictable people, places, and things hoping they’ll enable us to look up and onward to the things that last forever! Just like in a Hallmark movie when everything turns out for the greater good in the end, so goes the life of promise found in God and in the love found in His people! NEVER let love die! Find joy in other people’s memories! Give it away! Daily! u
Remember the silver Christmas tree that was lit by the color wheel?
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Community Matters 785-272-6510 ◆ Fax: 785-272-0496 4712 S.W. Sixth Ave. Topeka, KS 66606-2284 TopekaPresbyterianManor.org
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COMMUNITY MATTERS | February 2022
is published monthly for residents and friends of Topeka Presbyterian Manor by Presbyterian Manors of Mid-America, Inc., a not-for-profit 501(c)(3) organization.
To submit or suggest articles: dloftin@pmma.org Christie Patrick, executive director Danica Loftin, marketing director
OUR MISSION: To provide quality senior services guided by Christian values.
Look to the Bible to find love in many forms A few years before his death, the great British writer and lay theologian C.S. Lewis began an inquiry into love. It began with St. John’s words, “God is love.” Lewis was interested in exploring what “Godlove” meant, and it led him to consider other beneficial forms of love. Ancient Greek has several distinct words for love, and Lewis borrowed four of them for his analysis, which he first presented in a series of radio talks, followed by the 1960 book The Four Loves. Storge: Familial Love “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor” (Romans 12:10). Storge refers to the find of love felt between siblings, parents and children, and other family members: a natural love, bourn of genetics and proximity, but a powerful force nonetheless. In the book of Romans, Paul commands his fellow Christians to exhibit this kind of love for one another. Philia: Platonic Love “After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself ” (1 Samuel 18:1). The scriptures are full of stories
of deeply felt friendship. In the Old Testament, consider the bond shared between Ruth and Naomi or David and Jonathan. Jesus and his disciples are also examples of platonic love. Platonic love is special in part because it’s not “automatic.” Nurturing platonic relationship takes time and effort. Eros: Romantic Love “Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away” (Song of Songs 8:6). We live in a culture that emphasizes romantic love above all other forms, but eros is an important kind of love, the kind that sustains a long and satisfying marriage. Agape: Unconditional Love “Give thanks to the God of heaven, for His steadfast love endures forever” (Psalms 136:26). As Christians, we are called to love as God does: unconditionally and without ceasing. Agape love is illustrated in Jesus’ parable of the Good Samaritan. The man in distress on the side of the road did nothing to deserve the loving care he received; instead, the Samaritan offered his love freely and without condition.
“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing” (I Corinthians 13:1-3). u
Topeka Presbyterian Manor | A PMMA COMMUNITY
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4712 S.W. Sixth Ave. Topeka, KS 66606-2284 RETURN SERVICE REQUESTED
Topeka campus shares resident survey results Topeka Presbyterian Manor continues to seek customer feedback through monthly telephone surveys. Each month, residents and their representatives are randomly selected to participate in telephone satisfaction surveys conducted by Pinnacle Quality Insight. The graphic above right highlights some of the survey results. All scores are given on a 5-point scale, with 5 being the highest score and 1 the lowest score. Between December 2020 and November 2021, Topeka Presbyterian Manor residents and their families gave the community
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high scores in offering a high level of dignity and respect, activities, cleanliness and transportation needs. “I would tell them if I had to do it over again, I would do it again,” one respondent said. Another said, “What’s most important to me is being able to
COMMUNITY MATTERS | February 2022
be around other people.” We greatly value the opinions of our residents and their representatives about the care and services we provide, and we encourage them to participate honestly when contacted by Pinnacle Quality Insight. All state and federal confidentiality laws are met in Pinnacle’s service. u