Farmington Community Matters April 2017

Commun ty Matters Farmington Presbyterian Manor

April 2017

Presbyterian Manor announces Art is Ageless® winners Farmington Presbyterian Manor hosted a reception in February for the winning artists in the annual Art is Ageless® juried competition.

“We are honored to exhibit artwork by seniors,” said Heidi Beyer, marketing director. “Art is Ageless is unique in featuring only the works of artists age 65 and older. Our artists prove that art, in any form, is an ageless ambition.”

For the competition, works must have been completed in the past five years.

WINNERS, continued on page 2

Paying it forward Volunteer appreciates care mother received Carol Bloom’s mother lived at Farmington Presbyterian Manor for 13 years, and Carol said she always appreciated how well she was taken care of here.

Now, Carol helps take care of our current residents as our Monday Shopper, running errands as requested.

BLOOM, continued on page 2

BLOOM, continued from page 1

“I had always said I would like to pay back some of the good they did for her after I retired. It was something I thought I would enjoy, and I certainly do,” Carol said. “I get as much pleasure and reward back as what the residents do, for sure.”

Carol started volunteering with Presbyterian Manor in 2011, a few months after she retired.

while to figure out why they look familiar to each other!

“When I retired, there was something missing. I missed my customers. I had been around my customers for 45 years, and I heard about all of their aches and pains, and their grandkids,” she said. “I love my home, but I missed the people.”

As a volunteer shopper, Carol collects shopping lists and money She worked at Ozark Federal Savings every Monday morning, then heads for 45 years. It’s not uncommon for out to a handful of stores to get what’s needed. When she comes her to see residents who were her back with her deliveries, she also customers at the bank. But because takes time to visit with residents. the environment is different, sometimes it takes them both a Carol was honored to be asked to WINNERS, continued from page 1

Winners in the juried competition were:

Community Matters is published monthly for residents and friends of Farmington Manor by Presbyterian Manors of Mid-America Inc., a not-for-profit 501(c)(3) organization. Learn more at PresbyterianManors.org Jane Hull, executive director Heidi Beyer, marketing director To submit or suggest articles for this publication, contact hbeyer@pmma.org Telephone: 573-756-6768 Fax: 573-756-6014 Address: 500 Cayce St., Farmington, MO 63640-2910 Our mission: We provide quality senior services guided by Christian values.

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Community Matters April 2017

Best of Show: Janet Krauss, “Oh God! Oh Country!”

Judges’ Choice: Iris Vincent, “Above and Beyond” People’s Choice: DeeAnne Hansen, “Acrylic Painting” Christmas (amateur): Lynette Satterthwaite, “And then a Twinkling” Christmas (professional): Juanita Rapp Wyman, “Primary Pine Trees Light-up the Snowy Landscape”

serve on our Advisory Council as well, and she understands even better how much Presbyterian Manor relies on people to give of their time and energy. “We need volunteers desperately. A lot of people think, ‘I can’t do that.’ If they would just venture out and try it one time, I do believe they would change their minds.”

This month we’ll honor Carol and dozens of others for their generosity at our annual volunteer banquet.

The event will be Thursday, April 20, at 5 p.m.

“The volunteers are very special to them, and they let us know it,” Carol said.

Mixed Media/Crafts (amateur): JuneYoder, “Button Doll” Mixed Media/Crafts (professional): Dianne Dickerson,“Four Faces of Eve” Needlework (amateur): Helen Kripplaben, “First Song” Painting (amateur): John R. Laughlin, “Soaring Free” Painting (professional): Rita Francis, “Goldfinch and Sunflower” Photography (amateur): Marty Riley, “Burfordville Mill” Photography (professional): Juanita Rapp Wyman, “Breakfast on the Balcony”

Drawing (amateur): Susan E. Corvick, “Morning Light”

Quilting (amateur): Marie Saunders, “Monkey Wrench”

Drawing (professional): Victoria Gallagher, “Evening”

Sculpture/3-D (amateur): Iris Vincent, “From the Past”

Fiber Arts (professional): Dianne Dickerson, “Moon Over the Mississippi”

Sculpture/3-D (professional): GeneThompson,“Moore’s Stove Company” WINNERS, continued on page 4 Like us on Facebook

Don’t let fear stop you from end-of-life planning

By Debbie Reslock for Next Avenue

When I was in my early 20s, my mom was diagnosed with cancer. It felt like a one-two punch, since my dad had died unexpectedly a few years earlier. Although Mom tried chemotherapy, the results seemed to suggest that this was going to end badly, which it did — less than six months later.

During that time, her life became a mere shadow of what it once was. And yet no one, including her doctors, myself or my mom, ever talked about what was happening.

Only in the last few days did her doctor suggest to me, not her, that we were reaching the end of this painful road. And then he asked if I thought she’d be more comfortable at home or in the hospital. I remember how angry I was, unprepared to make this decision and wanting to scream, “Why are you asking me?” But of course when I got older, I realized the real question was why hadn’t any of us asked her?

Struggling with end-of-life decisions I’m sharing this story because many years later, I find myself struggling to put my own end-of-life choices on paper through an advance care directive. And I’m not sure why.

important, but just 27 percent have done so. Only 7 percent have had this conversation with their doctor and less than a quarter of us have put our wishes in writing, although 82 percent say it’s important.

As we grow older, most of us say we want control over our lives, so why is this where we draw the line?

When we let fear or anxiety stop us, we’re just shifting the responsibility to others. By default, we decide that they are the ones who will one day make the decisions for us.

Why we delay the inevitable For one thing, advance directives are easy not to do, says advance care planning consultant Jane Markley of M Jane Markley Consulting.

“Completing these types of documents isn’t part of our culture.”

“But it’s not because we don’t like to plan,” Markley says. “We plan everything — getting married, having kids, traveling and even who’s going to take care of the dog while we’re gone. But we don’t want to face the end of life. We don’t want to plan for this. We don’t want to believe this is going to happen even though we all have a 100 percent mortality rate,” she says.

I don’t like uncertainty. In fact, I’m all about control. It makes me uncomfortable when others speak for me. So why am I handing off these decisions that are clearly mine to make?

“As humans, we’re not wired to accept death,” says Jon Radulovic, vice president of communications for the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization. “It’s frightening and final. There’s so much apprehension surrounding the topic that it’s understandable why we don’t want to focus on it.”

Apparently, a lot of you are here with me. According to research, 90 percent say talking with loved ones about end-of-life care is

It seems most of us are also good excuse makers, according to Joseph Ferrari at DePaul University, a professor of psychology and

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research expert in the subject of procrastination. It’s also not that uncommon to take the Scarlett O’Hara viewpoint that there’s always another day, he says.

“We delay the consequences when we put something off,” says Ferrari.

“If the decision is upsetting, we avoid having to feel that.”

No shortage of obstacles in the way We may put this matter off because we think we’re too young or too busy to complete end-of-life directives. Markley also notes the jinx factor can cause some to fear they’re tempting fate. Or we wait for our physicians to bring it up, while they’re waiting for us to do the same, Radulovic adds.

Others don’t follow through because they say it doesn’t really matter what happens to them, Markley says. But then she asks why they want to make their kids’ lives so hard.

Survivors can still feel great anxiety years after the death of a loved one without advance directives, says Markley. “And not because they felt like they did something wrong, but because they didn’t know if they did the right things,” Markley adds.

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WINNERS, continued from page 2

Local competition winners will join winners from 16 other Presbyterian Manors of Mid-America communities to be judged at the masterpiece level.

Winning entries at the masterpiece level may be selected for publication in PMMA’s annual Art is Ageless calendar and note cards.

Started in 1980, Art is Ageless is an extension of PMMA’s wellness programs. It encourages Farmington Presbyterian Manor residents and other area seniors to express their creativity through the annual competition, as well as art classes, musical and dramatic events, educational opportunities and current events discussions throughout the year.

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Father’s Day We will be featuring summertime and Father’s Day in an upcoming issue of Community Matters. If you have a story to tell about a memorable Father’s Day or how your father influenced you, we want to share it. If summertime is your favorite time of year and you’ve got great memories to share, let us know.

If you’ve got a story to share, contact Marketing Director Heidi Beyer, and your story could be featured in an upcoming edition of Community Matters.

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Community Matters April 2017

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