Rolla Community Matters July 2021

Rolla Presbyterian Manor

Cheer Up the Lonely

By Allen Teal, chaplain JULY 2021

Activities, dining services focused on residents’ social well-being With the arrival of vaccinations and the loosening of COVID-19 restrictions, residents of Rolla Presbyterian Manor are enjoying an uptick in social wellness.

Both the life enrichment and dining services staff have noticed the dramatic difference.

“During the pandemic, it felt a little like there was a dark cloud hanging over us,” said Noah Rhoades, life enrichment director. “Being able to see family in person and gather together has really helped lift that cloud.”

Well-being – continued on page 2

The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18, NIV).

July 11 is National Cheer Up the Lonely Day. Not many will celebrate or even know about it. Most of us know a person or two who faces lonely times. Unfortunately, we can fail to notice when people around us need to see a familiar face or talk to an old friend. Perhaps we could take this opportunity to encourage someone who deals with loneliness.

Neglect can accompany loneliness.

Often, lonely people do not take proper care of themselves. They can also face the problem that no one else regularly checks on their wellbeing. God understood this when he created humanity. His decision to make two genders came from his knowledge that, “it is not good for the man to be alone.” It can be easy to say to someone that he or she should get out more or be a part of a group. Lonely people can struggle to do this and require someone to help them not to be alone.

Sadness is a frequent companion of the lonely.

Loneliness leads to feelings that no one cares. Even the knowledge that God cares may not be enough to lift

Noah Rhoades and Carmen Payne

Cheer – continued on page 4

Get the latest on visitation and COVID-19 at our campus at RollaPresbyterianManor.org/covid-19.

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Well-being – continued from page 1 Noah and his staff offer at least one physical activity a week and at least one activity that promotes mental stimulation.

Some popular activities everyone has enjoyed getting back to include balloon volleyball and Nerf gun target shooting. Both help with hand-eye coordination and offer the opportunity for light physical activity.

“We play games regularly that allow the residents to unwind and relax, such as ‘Name that Tune,’ where they try to guess songs from the ’40s–’70s era after listening to short audio clips,” Noah said.

Other favorite games include crosswords, trivia, hangman and “finish the line.” The latter starts with the first part of a common saying, such as, “What goes around …” It’s up to the contestants to finish the phrase (in this case, with “… comes around”).

“It’s always a blessing seeing them leave the activity room with satisfaction and a feeling that they have purpose,” Noah said.

Like the activities department, dining services is focused on individual resident needs.

“We get to know our residents,” said Carmen Payne, dining services director. Her staff creates a dining profile for each resident, which is updated at least once a year. It includes the foods they like and dislike, plus what beverages they prefer at each meal.

Usually, two “plates” are offered at each meal, and residents can mix and match the entrée, vegetable and starch according to their preferences.

“This is their house,” Carmen said.

“They can put their plate together however they want.” If neither plate appeals, residents can order off an a la carte menu.

Dining services takes a liberalized approach to resident nutrition. That means residents with health concerns such as diabetes or hypertension are not placed on restrictive diets.

encouraged to make healthy choices.

A dietician reviews all menus to ensure residents are getting what they need.

Of course, the social aspect of dining is also enormously important.

“Mealtime is as much about socializing as it is about eating,” Carmen said. “If we can serve a pretty, healthy plate to a resident, and they like who they’re sitting next to, that does more for them than just about anything.”

Because Carmen and her staff get to know the residents so well, they can often tell if someone is acting a little out of the ordinary. Because the Presbyterian Manor staff works as a team, any concerns are communicated to a member of the nursing or social services staff.

Carmen says this approach benefits the residents’ physical health, as restrictive diets can lead to weight loss. This can be a cause for concern with older people.

Although the dining room still observes social distancing, Carmen and her staff figured out how to arrange tables so four residents can sit close enough to have a conversation.

Liberalized diets also give residents agency over their food choices, which promotes trust between residents and staff. Instead of being told what they can and can’t eat, residents are

“Now they stay in the dining room longer, they talk longer,” Carmen said.

“It’s a social gathering, and you have to take the time to figure out how to spark that.” u

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Community Matters 573-364-7336 ◆ Fax: 573-364-7495 1200 Homelife Plaza Rolla, MO 65401-2595 RollaPresbyterianManor.org

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COMMUNITY MATTERS | July 2021

is published monthly for residents and friends of Rolla Presbyterian Manor

by Presbyterian Manors of Mid-America, Inc., a not-for-profit 501(c)(3) organization.

To submit or suggest articles: lfreeland@PMMA.org Ann Caudill, executive director Joelle Freeland, marketing director

OUR MISSION: To provide quality senior services guided by Christian values.

Gathering with friends: are we there yet?

By Barbara Twardowski for Next Avenue After more than a year of selfisolation and living like a hermit due to the pandemic, I am eagerly anticipating venturing into the world and resuming an in-person social life.

However, now that my husband and I are fully vaccinated, I have already encountered a variety of issues that might stump Miss Manners.

For example, is it impolite to ask someone if they have been vaccinated?

Kay has only left her home for urgent medical appointments: a visit to the Emergency Department and a hospital stay during the pandemic.

She also took a 10-day driving trip across the country to attend her son’s wedding. Kay is fully vaccinated.

Robin caught the virus a few months ago. She’s often flown or driven out of state. Because she already had COVID-19, Robin is choosing not to get vaccinated at this time.

It can be. Some people feel this as an invasion of privacy. Others view it as a political issue and take offense to a perceived challenge of their personal values. For a variety of reasons, talking about vaccinations can be a touchy subject.

While the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued recommendations regarding what a vaccinated person can do, the interpretation of that information and my friends’ comfort levels are vastly different.

In my own life, I am trying to navigate the various social boundaries each friend has built to guard her health risk. (I’m using pseudonyms for my five friends described below to protect their privacy.)

Different Comfort Levels Leslie has had one dose of a vaccine and needs the second. She has resumed eating at restaurants — during off hours and only outdoors.

She’s also been popping into a few retail shops and has been grocery shopping in person throughout the pandemic. She always wears a mask.

Amy begrudgingly wore a mask throughout the pandemic, gathered with groups of 10 outdoors and flew for a two-week vacation. After a bit of vaccine hesitation, she’s taken the first dose.

Sally uses extreme caution and is fully vaccinated. The past year, she never ate in a restaurant, had her groceries delivered, worked from home and watched church services online.

Before the pandemic, I would invite these women and several others over for any excuse we could find to spend a few hours together.

Navigating the New Social Dynamic Planning a get-together now feels like a macabre high school math problem: "Barbara wants to invite six friends for dinner in her home. Two friends are fully vaccinated, three are mid-vaccination and one is unvaccinated. If they don’t wear masks and don’t sit six feet apart, how many will be alive and will any still be friends six months from now?"

Organizing any event to accommodate different comfort

levels is proving immensely complicated. Leslie feels protected by her vaccination and would accept an invitation to my home — even if the guest list included people who are not vaccinated.

On the other hand, Kay, who is fully vaccinated, will not attend an indoor event even with other fully vaccinated folks. She might be willing to visit with me on my screened porch — maybe.

She’s waiting for the country to reach herd immunity.

Robin, while unvaccinated, believes her antibodies protect her and will freely gather with anyone.

Right now, I am reaching out to my friends to gauge if, or when, they might want to get together in person. I am learning how to accommodate my friends’ varying levels of comfort, while simultaneously still trying to figure out my own evolving level.

For the time being, my gatherings will be small and more complex than simply inviting people over and opening a bottle of wine. But that’s OK. After more than a year of locking myself up at home, I'm ready to reconnect. ©2021 Next Avenue u

Rolla Presbyterian Manor | A PMMA COMMUNITY

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1200 Homelife Plaza Rolla, MO 65401-2595 RETURN SERVICE REQUESTED

Cheer – continued from page 1 someone from the darkness solitude may bring. This sadness can create a vicious cycle of feeling down, resulting in unwillingness to associate with others. Avoiding others creates a fresh cycle of loneliness.

We have the capacity to make a difference.

A letter, phone call or a brief visit can make a world of difference in the life of the lonely. On Cheer Up the Lonely Day, we may want to take some time to initiate contact with someone facing loneliness. A well-timed card with a personal note can give a lonely

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COMMUNITY MATTERS | July 2021

person a major lift. Invite someone to dine with you or your family. You might consider taking an hour and calling three or four people who live far from friends or family or have

become elderly or ill and can no longer easily attend social gatherings. Make July 11, 2021, your personal day to spread cheer as far and wide as possible. u