Parsons Community Matters - May 2022

Parsons Presbyterian Manor

MAY 2022

Editor’s Note: In a nod to our Presbyterian heritage, we regularly feature a column from a PMMA® chaplain in our newsletter. This month’s column comes from Mary Bridges, chaplain at Salina Presbyterian Manor..

Mary’s Musings

By Mary Bridges, Chaplain

New assisted living residents live semi-independently after short-term rehabilitation Neal Wilkerson and his wife, Pat, moved into the assisted living neighborhood at Parsons Presbyterian Manor after stays in the PATH® short-term rehabilitation program.

I must confess that Memorial Day was never my favorite holiday. Growing up, my family made our annual trek to the cemetery to deliver fresh peonies from my mom’s garden. That evening, we’d go back to pick them up.

As I grew older, I began to lose friends and family members — even our son.

Visiting graves and offering remembrances still left me feeling sad and empty.

However, my view on Memorial Day has changed. To illustrate that, I want to tell you about my friend Mary Ellen from Menomonee Falls, Wis. We became friends in 1999 while serving on a national women’s board.

More importantly, we became prayer partners. Each day when I awoke, I visualized Mary Ellen on her treadmill, praying with me. Through 20 years, we prayed with each other through our ordinary days, through illnesses and the loss of loved ones.

Neal and Pat Wilkerson moved into Parson Presbyterian Manor Assisted Living.

Path – continued on page 2

In the midst of the pandemic, Mary Ellen was diagnosed with cancer. Her final Christmas letter in 2019 ended with these words from scripture: “Be strong and of good courage. Be not frightened or dismayed. For your God

Prayer – continued on page 4

Get the latest on visitation and COVID-19 at our campus at ParsonsPresbyterianManor.org/covid-19.

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Path – continued from page 1 Neal spent time in PATH, which stands for Post-Acute To Home, after two different hospital stays.

“Parsons is lucky to have the hospital and Parsons Presbyterian Manor,” he said. “If it weren’t for them, I don’t think I would have survived.”

The first time he was hospitalized, Neal was offered three rehabilitation options.

“We picked this place because we had heard good things about it,” he said.

He had such a positive experience with the level of care, the food, and the therapy program that he didn’t consider going elsewhere when he needed a second round of rehabilitation.

community. One of their nephews bought them a television and installed it in their apartment, and they are now able to manage most of the daily aspects of their lives, including administering their own medication. However, additional assistance is available if they need it.

In therapy, Neal has made significant progress with step climbing, and he’s still working on that. He and Pat are able to take walks around their Presbyterian Manor neighborhood.

“We can come and go as we please,” Neal said. The couple recently enjoyed an assisted living outing to the Dinosaur Park in Erie, Kan.

The Wilkersons have lived most of their lives in the area. Pat grew up on a farm just outside Parsons, moving within the city limits when she and Neal married.

“She’s been in town with me for 52 years,” said Neal, who has lived in Parsons his whole life, with the exception of his time in the Army and a short stint in Oklahoma.

The only down side of their new home: Both Neal and Pat miss their beloved cats, who are still being cared for in their home.

“Other than that, it’s wonderful, you know,” Neal said. “We get along just fine.” u

“We figured we had best pick of what we want, and we had experienced this place before,” Neal said.

He has particular praise for the meals they take in the “mess hall.”

“You can’t complain about the food here,” Neal said. “It’s out of this world.”

After the Wilkersons’ most recent PATH experience, their nieces and nephews urged them to stay at the Like us on Facebook to stay updated on news and events.

Community Matters 620-421-1450 u Fax: 620-421-1897 3501 Dirr Ave. Parsons, KS 67357-2220 ParsonsPresbyterianManor.org

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COMMUNITY MATTERS | May 2022

is published monthly for residents and friends of Parsons Presbyterian Manor

by Presbyterian Manors of Mid-America, Inc., a not-for-profit 501(c)(3) organization.

To submit or suggest articles: nnash@pmma.org Maegen Pegues, executive director Natae Nash, marketing counselor

OUR MISSION: To provide quality senior services guided by Christian values.

Create a financial roadmap before your spouse dies

By Bart Astor

I don’t even know where to begin,” Sindy Steinberg told me after her husband died. “I’m just trying to stay on top of the bills. I don’t even know all the passwords for the bank accounts and investments.”

I heard this repeated from all the recent widows — and widowers — I’ve spoken to. While the family is deeply into grief and mourning, life around them continues on. And keeping up with it all can be overwhelming.

Steinberg’s husband, Steve, died at 62 after a short illness, leaving her to not only deal with crushing grief, but confused by the intricacies of how their finances were handled.

“Steve was meticulous about how he organized everything,” Sindy said. “He had set up everything and managed the day-to-day business of our lives and also the strategy for our future.”

Like most families, the Steinbergs had settled into separate roles, with Steve responsible for all the family finances.

Picking Up the Financial Pieces of a Family Running a family is much like running a business. There is income and there are expenses. There are investments and accounts to keep track of and bills to be paid. Although sometimes the tasks of running the household are shared, often there is one Chief Operating Officer, or COO, who keeps it all humming smoothly.

I am personally well aware of the fragility of life, having seen friends leave us through illness or accident. So I am embarrassed to admit that this shoemaker’s children do not have shoes: I have been in charge of the administrative and business life of my family, but have not fully shared enough with my wife or heirs to

ensure a smooth transition.

Gabe Caponetto, a certified financial planner with the Alpha Legacy Wealth Management group of UBS in Red Bank, N.J., emphasizes the importance of creating a roadmap that “connects all aspects of your financial life.”

A Plan Provides Security He also points out that “Having a plan in place will provide both individuals a sense of security that their financial lives are in order.”

Sindy Steinberg, now 64, knew she would ultimately be fine financially, but not knowing the day-to-day tasks she had to take on led to her receiving late payment notices and administrative roadblocks that added to the stress she was already feeling.

Caponetto likes to think of his role as the quarterback, guiding the game for families.

“By knowing who all the advisors are in a client’s life, that includes financial advisors, CPAs, tax preparers, and attorneys — my client can make one phone call and have the quarterback take over,” he said.

The plan he advises clients to create will keep track of assets and liabilities, sources of income, expenses, estate plans, and how accounts and assets are titled. “And,” he adds, “the great thing about the plan is that once you start it, you’re able to continuously update it as your life changes.”

8 Tips For Transitioning to a New COO 1. Access. Make certain all user IDs and passwords are accessible. Keep an up-to-date list on your passwordprotected phone or computer, or on a piece of paper in a locked safe. Those are easy and secure ways as long as the

new COO knows the password to the phone and the combination to the safe. Be sure to also keep the partner’s email account active so notifications can still be received.

For some assets that are valuable but may not have a monetary value, such as frequent flyer miles and points, the survivor can continue to utilize them by accessing the account online.

2. Sharing Accounts. Make sure both parties have legal access to accounts or safe deposit boxes if one person dies. This may require changing the ownership of some. For accounts with significant assets, consult an attorney to be sure ownership is set up the best way.

3. Automation. Arrange to have repeating bills such as mortgage/rent and loans, credit cards, and utility bills made automatically every month directly from your bank account. And be sure that both party’s names are on the account.

Make a list of all the recurring bills you have and how they are paid, that is, through a manual process or an automatic withdrawal or credit card.

4. Experience. Sit down with your partner and together pay the bills for a month or two.

5. Prearrangements. In the midst of grief, the last thing mourners want to deal with is making decisions about what to do with the body or what kind of service or memorial the decedent wanted.

Roadmap – continued on page 4

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3501 Dirr Ave. Parsons, KS 67357-2220 RETURN SERVICE REQUESTED

Prayer – continued from page 1

Roadmap – continued from page 3

is with you wherever you go” from Joshua 1:9 and “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world does. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” from John 14:27. In April 2020, I received word that she had died.

6. Short-term planning. Prepare a simple, estimated budget for the next two or three months and share that with your partner. Often the clearest way is to divide the expenses into discretionary vs. non-discretionary so if the incoming COO sees a shortfall, he or she can easily determine where cuts can be made.

That year, I felt that empty feeling on Memorial Day. I decided that I will always take my offering of remembrance to those who are no longer living, as I was raised to do. But then I will celebrate the people I dearly miss by reaching out to their loved ones to share the impact they had on my life.

7. Longer-term planning for the year. If there are large expenses that will happen later in the year, like taxes or insurance, or expected income such as a bonus, make sure the budget notes that. The current COO can set aside or notate where the funds will come from to pay the upcoming large expense.

Last year, I sent a letter to Mary Ellen’s family telling them how blessed I was to have known her and how her memory continues to sustain me. I invite you to join me in memorializing your loved ones by writing or phoning their family and friends and sharing how they affected your life. It has become my favorite way to celebrate Memorial Day. To God be the glory! u

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8. Long-term planning. If you have a financial advisor, broker, attorney, or tax advisor, each should have contact information for the others. It is essential that everything is set up for an easy and legal transition of assets when one partner dies.

Goals and plans will likely change later but knowing the original plan and the advisors will make the transition smoother. Once the dust has settled, the new COO can meet with the advisors to review the goals and plans to make sure they reflect the current needs. u