Parsons Presbyterian Manor
FEBRUARY 2020
Preparing for the unexpected death of a spouse
Parsons welcomes Becky Nash Becky Nash has been in the workforce for 40 years, but when she accepted the position of life enrichment director at Parsons Presbyterian Manor in September, she began the second job of her career.
By Kerri Fivecoat-Campbell for Next Avenue
Prior to joining the Presbyterian Manor, Becky worked for “Farm Talk,” a weekly agricultural newspaper. She joined the paper after graduating from Labette High School in Parsons. Given its small staff, Becky did “a little bit of Becky Nash everything” at the paper. She liked the job and appreciated the flexibility she enjoyed when her children were little, but after four decades, she was ready for a new challenge. “It was a complete career change, but I do have a lot of experience working with older people,” Becky said. “I was told it would be a rewarding job, and it definitely has been. In her role at Presbyterian Manor, Becky directs all resident activities and oversees the volunteer program. She begins her day by distributing the “Manor Bee.” The daily newsletter keeps residents informed about events and what’s on the menu. It also includes a quote of the day and trivia. In her first year, Becky would like to provide more entertainment at Presbyterian Manor. She has noticed that residents particularly enjoy music. “They get into tapping their feet and clapping, and sometimes they sing along,” she said. In her free time, Becky serves as president of the Parsons Elks Lodge Ladies
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When my husband, Dale, passed away at age 57 from a sudden, massive heart attack two days before Thanksgiving in 2018, the last thing on my mind was the finances. This quickly changed, however, when I realized that as a relatively young widow of 54, I had just lost our second income. To exacerbate my situation, due to my age and not having dependent children at home, I was ineligible to draw even partial Social Security income until turning 60. Nor could I withdraw from our retirement funds without heavy penalties and taxes until age 59 ½. On top of all that, my sole income from my freelance writing business would be subject to the higher singlepayer tax bracket the following year. However, I had learned an
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DEATH – continued from page 1 important life lesson from my parents when I was just 17; it proved invaluable after Dale’s death and could help you if you’re married and under 60. When I was 17, my father also died suddenly of a massive heart attack at 58, and my mother was thrown into a similar situation. So, when Dale and I got married, 32 years before he died, we bought term life insurance policies. And we always carried extra life insurance through his job. Those decisions saved me financially. An emotionally draining time According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the average age of widowhood in the United States is a surprisingly young 59. That means there are many women who fall into the “donut hole” of not being able to draw Social Security benefits and who may have lost an income that had been essential for paying the bills. Women are more likely than men to lose their spouse. And due to income inequality, they’re also typically more apt to be in a worse financial position if their spouse dies before they’re eligible for
retirement benefits. “Losing a spouse is a horrific event and if it happens unexpectedly, there is absolutely no time to plan,” said Michelle Brownstein, a Certified Financial Planner and vice president of private client services with Personal Capital in San Francisco. One of the key ways to plan for this tragic possibility is to ensure both spouses have life insurance. “Life insurance can really be that income replacement,” said Brownstein. She recommends owning term life insurance. “The earlier you purchase it, the better term life policy you can get and this will allow your spouse to continue to pay the bills without changing his or her lifestyle.” Understanding the household finances Another key component to being financially prepared in case a spouse dies: ensuring that each person in the relationship understands the couple’s finances and the way the household is run. “After a marriage, one person typically takes the lead,” said Brownstein. “If that person passes,
and the other doesn’t understand how the household functions day to day, it can make a very stressful time even more stressful.” Rachel DeCarolis, wealth manager for Northstar Financial Planning in Windham, N.H., said although it may be an uncomfortable topic, spouses also need to discuss how the finances would change if something unexpected happened to either of them. “Talking about how the income would change and how expenses would change could mentally get you in a good place,” said DeCarolis. What one couple did and didn’t think about Barb and Grant Froman didn’t necessarily plan for such an event before Grant died from a sudden massive heart attack at 54 in June 2018. However, the couple had been planning well for their financial future, with the idea of retirement in mind. They had life insurance and investments, mostly from an inheritance Barb received from her mother’s estate. They carried no credit card debt and their home and vehicles were paid off.
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PARSONS Presbyterian Manor
620-421-1450 ◆ Fax: 620-421-1897 3501 Dirr Ave. Parsons, KS 67357-2220 ParsonsPresbyterianManor.org
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COMMUNITY MATTERS | February 2020
Community Matters is published monthly for residents and friends of Parsons Presbyterian Manor by Presbyterian Manors of Mid-America, Inc., a not-for-profit 501(c)(3) organization.
To submit or suggest articles: apeak@PMMA.org Maegen Pegues, executive director Alexandria Peak, marketing director
OUR MISSION: To provide quality senior services guided by Christian values.
DEATH – continued “You pay on the life insurance year after year, never really thinking about it until something like this happens. And I suddenly looked at it and went, ‘Wow. Thank God for this,” said Froman, 55, who lives in York, Pa.
Talk with a financial adviser or an attorney if your spouse had debt that you did not jointly own, as well as any outstanding medical bills. Depending on your state, you may or may not have to pay off that debt.
Although her only routine expenses are for things like utilities and food, Froman said she hadn’t thought about some other costs.
If your spouse was a veteran, see if you’re eligible for VA benefits.
“There were a lot of things Grant could fix that didn’t require us spending money to pay someone, such as oil changes, carpentry, electrical and plumbing that I am finding has to be done by someone else,” said Froman.
Look into joining the local chapter of the Modern Widow’s Club, if there’s one where you live. The 20
chapters of the Modern Widow’s Club (10 more are coming in 2020) seek to empower widows, including providing financial advice from professionals. Kerri Fivecoat-Campbell is a freelance writer whose work has appeared on Forbes.com, AOL.com, Mainstreet.com, Creditcards.com, Bankrate.com and elsewhere. © Next Avenue - 2020. All rights reserved. ◆
Froman said she’s been helped by the assistance of an excellent financial adviser. Working with one when you are married can let you see whether you’re prepared for the worst and what to do if you’re not. “Find a financial adviser that is a fiduciary, not one who is trying to sell products,” said Brownstein. 4 recommendations for widows Here are four recommendations for women who are already widows: Ask your adviser where you stand on drawing survivor’s benefits. Same-sex couples who are legally married and have been for more than a year are eligible for the same benefits as heterosexual couples. If you have a child at home age 16 or under, you’re likely eligible to draw Social Security benefits for the child.
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OUR MISSION: To provide quality senior services guided by Christian values.
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Welcome – continued from page 1
Auxiliary. There she inaugurated an annual Stuff the Bus schoolsupply drive. Last year, the Auxiliary filled an enormous box full of supplies, all of which benefit local schoolchildren. She also serves as the editor of the Lodge’s monthly bulletin. Becky credits her volunteer experience with preparing her for her second career. She and her husband Tony recently celebrated 40 years of marriage, which Becky jokes “is a pretty big accomplishment, since we both have had to put up with
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each other that whole time.” They have two daughters and four grandsons, with one grandchild on the way. “We raised two daughters, so when we had our first grandson my husband was in heaven,” Becky said. They spend many hours at wrestling matches and watching football and baseball games. Becky’s full life has prepared her for a job she truly enjoys. “My favorite thing is interacting with the residents every day and getting to know them better,” Becky said. “They make me smile. “I feel like I’m a part of something really big.” ◆
COMMUNITY MATTERS | February 2020
The World Health Organization designated 2020 as “the year of the nurse.” This observation coincides with the 200th birth anniversary of revolutionary nurse Florence Nightingale, whose leadership forever elevated the nursing profession. Throughout the year, PMMA communities will shine a spotlight on nurses as part of this global recognition. You can share your nurse story by sending an email to 2020YearoftheNurse@pmma.org