The power of grandparents

Ruth Bromley looks at the tremendous influence grandparents can have on the faith of their grandchildren.

We have a resource in our congregations that has an incredible influence on the faith and discipleship of our children and young people. What is it? Grandparents!

When I sit in church or visit other congregations, I often meet grandparents who bring their grandchildren to church because their parents do not go; who come with their children and grandchildren or talk about their family’s involvement in other churches; or who lament the lack of faith influence in the life of their grandchildren.

There are many examples of grandparents being involved in the life of their grandchildren in the Bible, either having influence on them or lamenting their lack of faith. Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and Naomi are just a few examples of those who have faith and play a part in the life of their grandchildren.

There are also those small but incredibly insightful verses which Paul writes in his letter to Timothy: “I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also” (2 Timothy 1:5).

…one of the constant things that grandparents can do is to pray.

Maybe you are reading this and you are a grandparent. Maybe you are a church leader who looks out at a congregation full of grandparents. What can we do to encourage grandparents in the influence that they have on their grandchildren and to pass on their faith?

There are a few biblical truths that are good for all of us to remember.

Firstly, God invented grandparents and sees them as playing an important role in the lives of their family. Deuteronomy 6 talks about sharing the commandments of God with younger generations, impressing them on their hearts and talking about them in all sorts of everyday situations.

We often use these verses to talk about the influence that parents have on their children but these also apply to grandparents. Whether you see them every day, every week or only a couple of times of year, God’s plan is that children learn about him at home. They learn about him best from the people who surround them in the ordinariness of life, those who love them most and want the best for them – and that includes grandparents.

Secondly, grandparents and grandchildren have connectedness. Even if children regard every other older person as irrelevant and outdated, they are connected to their grandparents in a different way and they can have a highly significant influence on faith, regardless of the faith of parents, because of this.

Thirdly, no one said it would be easy. There are many occasions when grandparents can feel powerless, removed or just confused by the rapidly changing world of their grandchildren. Or it may be that their children do not share their faith or are hostile to it and so it is difficult. But grandparents need to continue to sensitively live out their faith and continue to pray for their grandchildren.

Here are a few suggestions for how grandparents can influence the faith of their grandchildren.

Prayer

I’ve mentioned this already, but one of the constant things that grandparents can do is to pray. Whether they live in the same house, the same town or the other side of the world, grandparents can pray for grandchildren generally as well as specifically since they know and hear about what is going on in their lives. God hears our prayers and answers them, even if we do not always see the answers. Maybe you could keep a prayer journal for each of your grandchildren, logging the prayers that you say for them and then share it with them when the child is older?

Time

Something that grandparents also have is time. They may be involved in school pick-ups and childcare; they may have more time to sit and chat. The influence that those conversations can have on grandchildren’s faith is vast. Having someone else that they can trust, who can help them make sense of the world, either in person or on a video screen, can be crucial as grandchildren navigate the world. How could you as a grandparent create that space that grandchildren can come to you with their worries, concerns, joys and successes?

Grandparents…can have a highly significant influence on faith, regardless of the faith of parents…

Stories

Everyone loves a story and there is real power in the stories that we tell. Grandparents have an amazing opportunity to share stories of faith with their grandchildren. They have stories to tell of their life, stories of where God is in the everyday, other people’s stories, stories of the heroes of faith. These are all stories which can help grandchildren to learn about faith and understand what it has to do with their life. What stories could you tell your grandchildren?

Paul recognised the faith of Timothy’s mother and grandmother, the faith of a family passed down and that then lived in Timothy as well. I imagine that his grandmother Lois shared the stories of faith of God’s people with her daughter Eunice and with Timothy as he grew up in the home. The wisdom and experience of years of living out faith every day impacted generations of the same family as they prayed, spent time and shared stories of faith together.

Grandparents in our congregations, with grandchildren near and far, have the same opportunities to have that influence on their grandchildren. They can help lay some foundations of faith, the results of which they may never get to see. But by living a faith-filled life in the presence of grandchildren, by following Jesus every day, that sharing of faith can have eternal consequences.

Ruth Bromley is PCI’s children’s development officer.

Comments from grandparents in PCI

"It is a cliché but the family that prays together stays together. It is a joy to see my children and grandchildren attending Sunday worship together. It is also an opportunity to see them in a different environment from home."

"I think we can help grandchildren to understand faith by setting an example in church attendance and participating in worship."

"It is important to me as a Christian to introduce [my granddaughter] to this community of faith and what it has to offer. It’s also a special time for her and me doing it together, even if she doesn’t always understand what’s going on!"

"Our role as grandparents is first and foremost praying for our children, as parents, and the grandchildren; answering any questions they might have, reading with them and being part of the kids’ programmes on a Sunday or at holiday Bible clubs."

"I thank God each day, not only for my grandchildren, but also for the experience of being a grandparent and having the opportunity to invest in their lives. I think the greatest way in which we can help them with faith is by being present."

"I find my role is to keep Jesus in her mind and help her to say prayers. On a few occasions she has found her prayer answered which has been great."