8 minute read
Becoming mentally aware
Sarah Harding talks to Dr Ken Yeow about his insights and advice into the whole area of mental health.
Dr Ken Yeow is a consultant psychiatrist who is currently working in the field of intellectual disability, having previously specialised in eating disorders. He has aided PCI in its work with mental health for many years, having been a keynote speaker at ‘Breaking the Silence’ (a Youth Assembly initiative back in 2014) and is a regular seminar speaker at PCI’s pastoral care roadshow (regional events aimed at training congregations in pastoral care).
He is passionate about helping churches and individuals to tackle the problem of ill-mental health, and says it’s unclear whether the problems associated with it are getting worse or whether there is just more awareness. “It’s hard to know…you hear about it more. I think the stigma is becoming less. In the media it’s quite an open topic…So that’s certainly helped reduce the awkwardness of the issue.”
He believes there are a number of factors contributing to poor mental health in our society today: “Families are not as cohesive as before; new technology; social media; pace of life; complexity. We share the burden of global distress, so I think the way in which information is so quickly and intensely distributed is key. It’s information overload and our brains are not fully prepared to handle all that.
“But then again, I’ve only lived less than 50 years. If I was living during World War Two – would I have said that was a stressful time? Or during the Roman Empire? Are there just cycles of intense periods in life? Maybe it’s hard whenever you live.”
Perhaps one thing that is different about our current age lies in our ability to handle stressful situations and our apparent lack of resilience to cope. Dr Yeow cites the rise of the self-esteem movement, dating back to the 1960s, which began a focus on nurturing the inner being. “The risk is you sway too much towards being self-focused and thinking of your own needs primarily. You need a balance of the inward (dealing with stuff on the inside), but there also needs to be an outward focus – the ability to help others and contribute to society. That’s a more fully orbed approach to mental health.”
Dr Yeow believes that expressing emotion in a healthy way is a significant factor to maintaining good mental health. “The inability to cope with/ express/share/process/work through emotional difficulties in a healthy way, means it comes out in a less healthy way. Addictions is a good example of that. If you’ve learnt to cope with your distress or conflict through the use of a substance or an activity that brings temporary relief, then you can very easily get stuck in a cycle of addiction.”
Spiritual health
Dr Yeow is clear that the whole area of mental health is intertwined with our spiritual health. “We have body, mind and spirit and we’re all one, so you can’t divorce your physical body and your mental life from your spiritual life.”
He recognises that there is often a difficulty for individuals or churches when dealing with the issue because of the guilt that can be present – caused by the assumption that people of faith should not struggle mentally.
“We need to get better at that – that’s why I enjoy doing seminars and talking to people, because churches have a role to teach people well about these things and to have a mature view on it. There are many instances where good professional help is needed in addition to any spiritual practices or disciplines.”
However, he also identifies that situations can be complicated. “The Christian life is one of seeking to become more Christlike – of holiness and purity. And there is such a thing as sin, and such a thing as disobedience, and those things in themselves can lead to mental health struggles. If you are living in persistent, flagrant disobedience and sin, then it would not be inappropriate to have some negative feelings about it, which may well motivate you to check and repent and come back to the Lord. So, we need to get better at the emotional and supportive side, but we also need to get better at the admonition and pastoral discipline side of things.”
Church response
So, are we as the church getting better at broaching the subject of mental health and tackling it? Dr Yeow believes so. “In my little sphere, I’ve had the opportunity to meet with different Churches [denominations] and do talks here and there. The very fact that Churches are organising these things is a great sign. What I would like to see is some central coordination where you can bring these Churches together and encourage one another.”
Training people in congregations who are involved in pastoral care is an important element. “Awareness is a big thing, and the ability to be the kind of people that can draw others out. So, listening well, taking time, not feeling compelled to jump in with solutions – these are skills. Some of these things can take years to develop, but they are things that everyone can grow in.”
Dr Yeow is also keen to point out that churches must be very careful to maintain confidentiality when dealing with these difficult issues. “It’s one thing to say the church needs to be involved, but at the same time, there’s a lot of wisdom in how you do it in a way that’s sensitive and doesn’t betray confidence.”
It’s important to realise too that churches have a great opportunity to help families and young people with mental health, as the evidence shows that helping people to have good practices lays a good foundation for the future; creating a culture of healthy expression of emotions and supporting parents to create that kind of culture at home can be of real benefit.
Dr Yeow says, “We all feel difficult things, that’s part of life. It’s not a bad thing, it’s not sinful, it’s not something to be ashamed of. The ability to express that and share that and to gather with others with shared difficulties – it’s very necessary. It’s part of the Christian life.”
Recognising signs
Life is full of ups and downs and there will be normal stresses and strains that accompany that. So, what are some of the signs when we should be concerned about our own mental health or the health of someone close to us?
“Two important things to think about are distress and function – so if somebody appears very distressed and they’re very preoccupied with a problem or if their function drops, be it at school, at work or at home…they generally need more support and help.
“If it’s a problem of stress, burnout or exhaustion, bordering on depression, then the ability to be aware of that is helpful. A lot of things in mental health start with awareness – if you’re not aware, you’re not going to do anything about it.”
Awareness is also crucial for friends and loved ones, although intervening to suggest someone needs help can be tricky. Navigating conversations can require wisdom and sensitivity. The first thing Dr Yeow recommends for this is prayer. “Your first starting point is ‘Help Lord!’” There needs to be an openness and honesty that allows the person who is struggling to feel safe and able to talk and accept help, although Dr Yeow acknowledges that this is “all very difficult”. It very much depends on the nature of the situation and the severity of it as to how a loved one should deal with it, and in extreme instances where there is threat to life, emergency services should be sought immediately.
Prevention
In all instances of mental health problems, Dr Yeow believes that awareness is extremely significant in prevention. “The trick is finding what works for you. One person’s stress relieving mechanism is somebody else’s anxiety provoking mechanism… If watching a Netflix series actually helps you to relax and puts you in a better frame of mind, there’s a place for that.”
As well as the usual advice of taking care of our nutrition, exercising and getting enough rest, Dr Yeow points out: “From a Christian perspective, I would have to say it does start with your relationship with God. That’s a great source of strength – having the kind of relationship where you can bring everything to him and not be afraid to talk about the pain and the confusion in his presence.”
This is also where the church can play a part. “Growing in faith and getting good teaching, being discipled well and being in a healthy church” are all things Dr Yeow highlights as being very helpful.
Whilst there are times when we will all struggle and other times when some of us will need professional help to deal with difficulties, Dr Yeow, in his book Personal Freedom, reminds us that God is with us throughout.
“…we no longer need to fear our difficulties/struggles/trials but see them as instruments of transformation. We can embrace them as the very things that will bring us closer to God and deeper in him. In fact, the more challenging a situation is, the more grace that we stand to experience and the better the training in righteousness we receive!”
Dr Ken Yeow
Dr Ken Yeow, a consultant psychiatrist in Northern Ireland, integrates an understanding of the gospel with mental health problems.
