Summer Issue (2009)

The Prattler Summer Issue

Photo by ANTHONY CUDAHY

The Prattler Contents

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR 02

RESTAURANT REVIEWS 17

The new, transitional editor of The Prattler offers a decent perspective on the additions to our staff and surroundings.

By Gray Hurlburt

A review of three restaurants and cafes in the vicinity of Pratt’s Brooklyn campus. By Sofia Ramsay

WHAT I DID OVER MY SUMMER VACATION 03 Another poem by our assistant editor on her summer as a camp chaperone in woodsy Massachusetts, and how it compares to a summer in the hood. By Sarah Greenwell

EAST MEETS WEST 07 Comparative reviews of six food markets east and west of Willoughby Ave. By Sharon Clark

THE PRATTLER GUIDE TO PRATT 13

MEET THE STAFF

Our A to Z guide on how to get through your four or five-year gauntlet like a suave motherfucker. By Sofia Ramsay

GRAY HURLBURT Editor-in-Chief SARAH GREENWELL Assistant Editor JACI KESSLER Graphic Designer ANTHONY CUDAHY Art Director / Illustrator BENJAMIN KORMAN Web Editor Printed by Lenny Koch at Conceptual Litho Visit us online at www.theprattler.org.

THE SOUND-OFF 19 Music reviews of four new albums by Wye Oak, White Lies, Castanets and Bad Veins. By Gray Hurlburt

GUIDE TO EXTENDED SUMMER FUN 23 A useful list of ways to enjoy Brooklyn in the remaining summer days. Montauk, handjobs, pizza, and more.

By Gray Hurlburt

BRAIN TEASERS 25 Test your ingenuity and know-how with these challenging puzzles. Amaze your friends and professors. By Phil Lubliner, Jaci Kessler and Brian White

This month’s cover photo was contributed by Pratt student Bridget Collins. More of her work can be seen on flickr.com/everyoneknows.

The inside cover is by Joscha Bruckert, creator of the German webzine ROMKA. Download the latest issue at romkamagazine.com.

Special thanks to Gabrielle Bush for copy editing.

The Prattler is your magazine. Submit art, articles, photographs and whatever else you can think of to theprattler@gmail.com.

Illustration by JACI KESSLER

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

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Let me begin by saying hello. It’s a serious pleasure to meet you, whether you are a wide-eyed newcomer to 200 Willoughby Avenue, or an upperclassman in transit to a nowhere internship.

Welcome back to the gilded leaves of our dear Prattler.

And welcome back to Brooklyn, for school has resumed once again. I still get jitters down my spine just looking at the several expenditures that recently graced our campus. For example, those remarkable stick people wrapped around trees—I should watch where I fling my cigarettes. The Grand Walk, by this time, is complete and greener now than the grass between Pantas Hall and the main building. And the yet-unnamed academic and administrative building on Myrtle Avenue stands taller than ever, poised to don a perennial, glass cocktail dress. All of these we can admire while waiting in line at the bursar’s office. It’s great.

Anyway, while you were busy on vacation, a game of musical chairs transpired in our office.

Several of the old Prattler guard had to go off and graduate. This includes my predecessor, Harry Cheadle, as well as assistant editor Julie Hagenbuch and designer Colin Matsui. When they left, I climbed into the high chair of editor. Sarah Greenwell joins me as assistant editor and Ben Korman as web editor. Jaci Kessler and Anthony Cudahy take dual responsibility over design. I think we can cut the mustard.

With that in mind, we at the Prattler, in the bountiful spirit of autumn, offer you the Summer Issue.

Despite the name, this issue is rather post-summer themed. Inside are guides with pertinent suggestions for our art-student demographic, smart opinions on local eateries, and a token “What I Did Over My Summer Vacation” report.

I should also let you know that we’re now online. You can follow us at www.theprattler.org. There you will discover the most timely, honest news pertaining to Pratt as well as a developing catalog of back-issues, event listings and reviews.

Don’t let me hold you here any longer. Enjoy the Summer Issue. Then take your time and get the most from these last warm days.

Until next time, Gray Hurlburt

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WHAT I DID OVER MY SUMMER VACATION

By Sarah Greenwell

While it may be nice to summer in BK, I wanted to work at a camp in MA. ‘Cause it’s hidden in the Berkshires – where it’s quiet and secluded, Where the sounds of city life are temporarily muted.

But while this may seem a perfect setting for off-school-season, It is not all that relaxing for a number of reasons: Being a counselor at sleep away camp’s not as free as it may seem.

In fact, camp bears a close resemblance to a fascist regime.

‘Cause there’s only one supreme, authoritative administrator A man whose powers come to earn him the title “Directator.”

Not only does he enact rules (both pointless and obscure), He treats staff like they’re mules; as would a modern day fuhrer.

He suggests complete silence with the raise of his hand, And expects counselors to obey his every far-fetched command.

He reprimands the staff daily for being 3 minutes late, And will berate them for trivial things; he’s constantly irate.

Yet return rate for campers remains a whopping ninety-eight Percent, so he should stop resenting and instead repent for hate.

‘Cause he makes camp unpleasant, makes the counselors feel used.

He makes me feel like a peasant: overworked and abused.

Not to mention, counselors only get one hour off a day, And let’s be honest, all that work ain’t justified by the pay.

Especially ‘cause the director often takes my hour away, Regardless of the fact I need to stick around all day.

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But what’s more? Staff gets yelled at for the stupidest stuff.

Just ask any general counselor, they will tell you it’s rough!

One staff member complains, “It’s hardly summer vacation…

Even when I’m at school I have a lot less frustration.”

She goes on to explain, “[The director’s] hypocritical…

This entire fucking camp is so absurdly political.”

Another counselor says, “That man’s always contradicting Both himself and his morals. His ideas are conflicting.”

Consequently, he is constantly inflicting aggravation On the staff members who see through his phony delegation.

But the director defends himself and his powerful position.

Says, “It’s an effective way of getting everyone to listen.”

Additionally, in keeping true to proper fascist traditions, Every building on camp is a billboard for the camp’s mission.

If that’s not propaganda, I couldn’t tell you what is, But still the director claims, “It’s just all part of the biz.”

And while he may stand alone, in terms of utmost authority, He hires other staff to help him in controlling the majority.

This Senior “Nazi” Staff help in carrying out all of his bidding And help the director in his attempt at successfully ridding Camp of all things fun and crazy through this right-wing approach Towards an extreme counselor obedience, even though it may encroach On a staff member’s personal time and personal space, ‘Cause once counselor’s sign their contract their freedom’s somewhat erased.

Consequently, the director’s free to impose propriety, Having established this noticeably fascist-like society.

So think twice before you sign away to camp for the summer, ‘Cause you are bound to deal with more shit than you would as a plumber.

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Photo by JOSCHA BRUCKERT

EAST MEETS WEST: A SHOWDOWN OF LOCAL SUPERMARKETS

By Sharon Clark We have grocery stores to sell us the things we need that aren’t art supplies or second-hand clothes. We go there for things to put in our mouths, to chew on, and, for some of us, to digest. Depending on where you live and what you like to eat, Pratt’s neighborhoods have several locations for you to choose from. I’ve taken the time to map out and grade the options with a twist: the Associated supermarket is excluded, and Pratt’s campus is divided into east and west, Cold War Germany style. Remember your school ID at Checkpoint Charlie when crossing the border to shop. Bon appetit!

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WEST

02 ELLY’S MARKET

03 TRADER JOE’S

Atlantic Ave & Fifth Ave

Dekalb Ave & Clermont Ave

Court Street

Upon a Pratt student’s inaugural visit to Target, they will notice gypsy cab drivers loading massive amounts of groceries into their trunks and whisking away happy, soon to be full-bellied folks. These bags come from the megastore across the street.

Size: Pathmark is the kind of grocery store that makes you feel nostalgic for home —if you’re from suburbia, that is.

However, with massive size comes a crowd. Beware, shopper; do not shop here during peak hours. Those first-aid packs may be impossible to get to, or sold out.

Selection: For a supermarket located at the crossroads of Park Slope and Fort Greene, Pathmark is lacking in the whole foods department, however produce is varied and abundant.

Expiration dates: No complaints.

In the summer of 2008, this humble mom and pop grocery was gutted and renovated to reveal a stockpile of frozen, canned, and fresh organic foods.

It’s out of this world, as in, it feels a little bit martian.

Size: Elly’s Market is modest in size, and it doesn’t try to outdo itself in volume. Moving through the three aisles of the store doesn’t require any spectacular acrobatics.

Selection: The store seems to cater to the average Fort Greene bourgeoisie.

You know, those blue bloods who purchase all their food from co-ops and farmer’s markets, but stop inside when they run out of organic mozzarella rolls or a pack of earth-friendly G-Diapers.

Expiration dates: The prepared sandwiches and salads should be eaten right away, but it’s sort of comforting to see a frozen dinner with an expiration date that isn’t three years from now.

Stroller battalions and spendthrifts alike flock to the new Trader Joe’s compound to call dibs on fancy flavored sausages and Joe O’s. It’s a sight to behold.

Size: Compared with the dinky Union Square location, Court St. Trader Joe’s is an Incredible Hulk. The high ceilings of the old stone bank it was built in make the this space much less claustrophobic—even if that woman with the MaClaren stroller has been tailgating you down the deli meats aisle for some time.

Selection: The best part is the knockoff in-store brands that you can actually trust, unlike Krasdale, which even sounds crappy. Even the Trader Joe’s beer is good.

Expiration dates: No complaints.

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01 PATHMARK

EAST 04 PIONEER

05 COMPARE FOODS

Lafayette Ave & Grand Street

Bedford Ave & Kosciusko Street

If you’ve ever gotten a sandwich from Paradise Deli, or a coffee from Choice on Lafayette, you’ve probably wondered what’s up with this place. It’s squat, cement and looks more like a bomb shelter than a grocery store.

Size: This store is a behemoth compared to its Clinton Hill and Bed-Stuy counterparts. That’s probably because it was most likely built to sustain life after a red dawn.

Selection: When the frozen food section of a grocery store seems sad, you know you’re in the wrong place for basic units of apartment-life sustenance. Don’t come here if you can not cook for a damn. Pioneer is not microwave-friendly.

Expiration Dates: Sometimes the dates on dairy products are smudged off – never cool in my book. Especially when you’re the type who enjoys cracking open a carton of milk to chug on the spot.

The first time I noticed this grocery store, I was walking by in the middle of the night, wondering aloud, “How the hell do you pronounce Kosciusko, anyway?”

Size: This store is serious about stacking up the products it doesn’t have reachable space for. It’s like a Jenga tower of dusty cereal boxes. Beer and chips don’t have a home and are kept at the ends and middle of aisles. Shopper, visit at your own risk!

Selection: Average. But whenever I crave TGI Friday’s Buffalo Wings, Compare Foods is my rock.

Expiration Dates: Don’t buy the milk. Believe me. It turns to pasty sludge faster than you can say “Michael Jackson.”

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Dekalb Ave & Taaffe Place Pratt students living in the Taaffe lofts find having a grocery store more or less in their basement to be quite a treat.

That’s why you hear it so often called “Crazy” Town, as though it were a lame song title, because having a food store connected to your house is just totally nuts.

Size: The store is smaller than a studio apartment. Be prepared to squeeze up against a wall of Nesquik while a disgruntled shopper barrels by. Not to mention, this grocery store perpetually smells like bologna and wet cardboard.

Selection: C-Town is dense with ice cream, Banquet frozen dinners, Morning Star products, and a handful of fancy cheeses. Individual ingredients are on the slim side. Judging by their Pratt clientele, I gauge that this place found the instant meal to be a recipe for financial success. Go here on a stomach that says, “Feed me right now!”

Expiration dates: If you’re shopping at C-Town, you’re probably playing out the rest of your “I love soy milk!” phase.

Rotten dairy is one of the lesser problems in your life.

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Photo by CHRIS NOSENZO

THE PRATTLER GUIDE TO PRATT: AN A TO Z GUIDE

By Sofia Ramsay / Illustrations by Anthony Cudahy ADDERALL To start you fresh young faces off on a familiar topic, let’s introduce a popular prescription pill popped by Pratt’s best and worst. You’d be hard pressed to find a floormate who isn’t prescribed something in this day and age, and when finals come around you’ll see their room turn into a regular pharmacy counter. What happened to the days of coffee and No-Doz? Now we have the likes of Concerta, Ritalin and a plethora of other heart-racing, speed-like prescription drugs to keep all those art history slides straight.

BRUNCH The fancy-sounding excuse for a hearty hangover breakfast at any hour of the day.

Hit up the Square Root Cafe or Mike’s diner for an old fashioned, belly-filling good time. Maggie Brown, Chez Lola or Olea offer an upscale experience, plus you can continue to get your drink on with some of their breakfast cocktails.

CYCLING DEKALB AVENUE The portion of this street, from Vanderbilt Ave west of Fort Greene Park, boasts some of the more opulent eateries and handsome couples around. It’s a place to see and be seen. Simply put, Dekalb is right for an upscale night on the town. After sharing a dinner over grilled salmon at Lou Lou, you and your date can walk through the lamp lit park before what comes next.

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Not only does riding a bicycle take cars off the road and save you many a MetroCard swipe, it is often the most convenient mode of transportation when traveling around the borough. Biking is the Brooklyn way, whether you belong to the fixed-gear gangs of Clinton Hill or stash your groceries in a sassy handlebar basket. It turns a twenty-minute walk into a four-minute ride and pumps those much needed endorphins to your groggy brain. Head to Williamsburg on the weekend and score some wheels for $100, and always wear your helmet.

EXISTENTIALISM With the global economy in the toilet and our futures uncertain, there’s less of a reason to expect a job after graduation. Maybe that’s why we spend more time with books by Camus and Heidegger under the glow of Christmas tree lights, listening to Joy Division, than we do worrying about how we’ll pay off tuition debts.

FELINES

GYPSY CAB

The one-time prize-winning show cats of Pratt have taken on the faded glamour of retired pageant queens, minus the charity events and grand openings. Always filthy and usually hungry, these communal pets will find their way into your studio/heart as the cold semester wears on. Everyone needs a friend, but beware incoming animal lovers; these cats make terrible roommates.

There are no yellow taxis to be hailed in Clinton Hill. But you’ll be sure to impress your Manhattan counterparts by calling up your very own roomy town car! Although cheaper options are available (see Cycling), services like Pratt Car, Myrtle Car and and New Bell are reliable even (especially) during the wee hours in the hood.

HIGGINS HALL An awesome facility that will keep your architecture friends imprisoned during the semester. Get to know them well during orientation week, because you will never see them again...even if you are their roommate.

INSTALLATIONS Sometimes it is vandalism, especially if a spraycan is involved. But newsprint and wheatpaste are often acceptable mediums when it comes to campus exteriors.

You’ll find your peers exercising this artistic license on their own or when prompted by a professor. That is a site-specific sculpture, Mr. Maintenance Worker, not scrap metal discarded into the fountain. The Prattler challenges you to top our classmate’s Girthy but Hyper-Realistic Plasticine Penis, Pratt Studios stairwell, 2006.

JOBS

KOREAN CULTURE & VOCAB

L TRAIN

Scoring an on-campus job not only bolsters your art supplies funding, it also adds some discipline to your schedule.

Asking for the morning shift relegates the rest of the day and night to your whim and fancy. You’ll make the same wages on campus as you would folding clothes at Urban Outfitters, plus save the $4.50 in subway fare and the tax deductions. Sitting at the computer lab and checking your Facebook for a few hours a day? Sounds like the easiest paycheck this side of the recession to me.

A vast majority of Pratt’s international population comes from Korea, a place, you’ll soon discover, that is America’s cultural opposite. We bratty, outspoken Americans can learn a thing or two from their respectful ways. Always show reverence for your onee’s and opa’s (big sisters and brothers, your peers born before you). Never forget your jae-bal’s and gomawa-yo’s (please and thank yous). Also never leave your dorm without looking like a million won.

Hands down, the L is the air-conditioned chariot of the gods. It’s fast, reliable and its cars look so much cleaner than those of any other subway train. Its passengers are like a fashion show on Facebook, everyone putting on their best and usually going somewhere super secret and awesome. You will fall in fleeting love four out of five times on this train.

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MYRTLE AVENUE

NUDITY

This is basically Pratt’s backyard, and it has changed so much in recent years.

It was once commonly called “Murder Ave” and made the slow ascent to the squeaky clean strip that I call home.

Myrtle boasts bustling commerce with famous spots like Jive Turkey, a cozy local yoga studio, a dependable supermarket and a few rockin’ bars.

Also, every cabby in Manhattan knows this street and will be delighted to not be driving you all the way to Bushwick at four in the morning.

You’re sure to be desensitized to all forms of the glorious human body after life drawing class. Who knows, you may even find yourself nude before your peers; posing for life drawing rakes in big bucks. Also, group nudity on a social level provides an easy segue into vision quests and, for some reason, Talking Heads-themed dance parties. Whether or not yours also includes rumpreddening percussion, a flurry of fur scraps and feathers, and a staggering majority of strangers, only time will tell.

ORIENTATION Free buffet, glorious weather and manicured lawns make college out to be the frisbee-throwing summer camp of your fantasies. Break the ice with suitemates and make a couple fun mistakes before you have to start all that hard work. Even after classes have commenced, keep that open-door policy and get to know your floor buddies. This is the most fun you’ll ever have at Pratt, so re-live it next year by joining the O Staff. This also lets you move in early.

PESTS Cockroaches, bed bugs, silver fish, rats, mice, oh my! Here in Brooklyn there’s no escaping nature’s less desirable critters. Mouse squeaks keep us up by night and surprise visits by fat cockroaches cause one to leap in the morning. It doesn’t really matter whether you kill a house-full of these bastards, because the next day you’ll have a fresh batch of dirty fuckers to deal with. Woe to those of you in Willoughby Hall, the crawling metropolis of the pest world.

QUESTIONNAIRE You’re pursuing a very specialized career path at a less conventional school. Your state school friends (and maybe you) are probably confused as to the practicality of your education, and are going to serve you some good reality check query, all of which will be completely ignorant and hilarious.

SMOKING

Keep your ears perked up for this buzz word and you may find yourself watching a puppet show in a papier-mache fishtank on a Saturday night. Announced only through word of mouth, each monthly Rubulad party is sure to be wallpapered with fresh urban folk art and party favors. The suffocating crowd and body gridlock are the only certainties of any Rubulad. Otherwise, its ephemera keeps any memory of parties past lost in a kind of psychedelic limbo. It’s something you have to see for yourself.

The recent NY tobacco tax has added further insult to the high price of smoking, making it a priviledge now pretty much reserved for the trust fund crowd. During my tenure at Pratt, this popular vice has gone from permissable within the confines of your dorm room, to illegal within 25 feet of any campus building. All you smokers will need to make a Venn diagram out of the campus map to find a licit spot. I’ll be relaxing hard in my apartment, smoking whatever I want.

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RUBULAD

TAAFFE LOFTS The chances that you will soon be disgusted by the crumbling on-campus lodging are high if not certain. The chances you will move into the Taaffe lofts with four roommates and a potted plant are about the same. Party-hopping within these tenements feels similar to the dormitory experience, adding high ceilings and subtracting the authority of RAs. Usually a good deal financially, these spacious apartments give students a sense of independence even if Mom and Dad pay your rent.

UNION WORKERS AND CONSTRUCTION A day-to-day reality for a Pratt student that may wake you up early on your day off. Union workers protesting the Myrtle Avenue construction job will educate you on all of Pratt’s administrative coupon-clipping.

VINTAGE

WILLIAMSBURG

XANADU

Brooklyn, among other things, is known for the cutting-edge style of its inhabitants. Some of the most unique fashion around can be found on the dirty bodies of Pratt students. Ironically, many of these new, hot duds have already been worn by other people.

Vintage shops like Beacon’s Closet and Buffalo Exchange are great places to swap old rags for beer money or other recycled goods. The neighborhood Salvation Army is not to be ignored.

For an afternoon of prime peoplewatching, hop on the B61 and visit our infamously hip neighbors to the north. Bedford Ave is sort of the Times Square of BK, so creep down some side streets and explore its dusty, developed corners. You’ll find great bands playing in fun venues, a few overpriced clothing and furniture stores, and yummy cuisine. It’s all been discovered, though, so no matter how much you love it, nothing in the ‘Burg is your little secret.

Quoting Sam Coleridge, “In Xanadu did Kubla Khan / A stately pleasure-dome decree: / Where Alph, the sacred river, ran / Through caverns measureless to man,” Pratt’s basically that in a nutshell.

The longer you remain a student the more it’ll grow on you how similar it is to a magical kingdom, or a “pleasuredome.” Every day I get such a kick out of the characters in my classes and walks through the sculpture garden—like the late poet, totally sober, of course.

YES NYC offers so many opportunities, you’ll be sick of hearing the word. The Prattler advises you to be open-minded—to be a “yes person.” It’s handy to remember a few things you learned in class, but don’t forget that your peers and this city are going to provide the real protein for your education. Go ahead and take that internship; you’ll always come away with some creative genius and life lessons from people you least expect to. Try everything you can; it’s all fun and there for you!

ZAYTOONS This Middle Eastern eatery is a Myrtle favorite. You need not look further than this BYOB joint for your falafel, shwarma, hummus and shishkabob needs. Besides the consistently perfect food, the atmosphere is exotic and comfortable for large parties. Add their hookah and belly dancing entertainment, reiterate the BYOB and you’ve got your own Brooklyn style Central Perk! So now that I’ve revealed to you all you newbs what it took me three years to learn, take advantage! You don’t even have to give me any credit.

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RESTAURANT REVIEWS

By Sofia Ramsay

LUZ 177 Vanderbilt Ave

WALLY’S SQUARE ROOT CAFE 584 Myrtle Ave

This petite Mexican eatery is tucked away in a romantic corner of Fort Greene, and is a short, cute walk from campus. When you enter, the meaning of its moniker becomes obviously relevant to the slightly claustrophobic interior. But despite its size, Pequena’s food and drink pack a delightful punch.

The drinks taste strong and sweet, with rotating fresh fruit margarita specials, and their salsa is likewise not for the faint of heart, nor the dyspeptic.

Quesadillas, empanadas and tacos are all offered as appetizers and entree portions, and they arrive at your table faster than you can smoke a cigarette.

A single chicken quesadilla ($6) comes loaded with rich cheese, guac and salsa. The black bean soup is hearty, hot and vegetarian ($5). In addition, noticeable use of fresh ingredients and the extremely genial service adds to making this a pleasant experience and is sure to make you a repeat customer.

In Fort Greene exists this authentic, chic Latin restaurant and bar. The menu has an impressive breadth of pan-Latin cuisine with a focus on Puerto Rican staples. Dinners are served either outside or in the swanky, dimly lit lounge that might be otherwise found in the West Village. The proprietors behind this chic establishment call Pratt their alma mater, so we felt a little school spirit while sipping their potent white sangria. Gray’s Arepas de Queso was so rich and savory, and delightfully excessive for one, that we could both enjoy ($9). I had no trouble finishing my dos empanadas, which had a sweet, crispy shell and a dense filling ($10).

The entrana skirt steak ($19) came out tender with a cool, zesty topping and salad. The bottom line with Luz is, if you’re ready to take that cute morena from LCD out on an impressive date, that this is a safe bet.

Once you ultimately move off-campus and cannot afford to pay for patchy internet, go to Square Root for brunch, coffee, and free WiFi. This cozy, cornerspot is a time warp to the 1960’s diner, complete with a jukebox and Coca-Cola machine. Breakfast is served all day, and with items like crispy home fries, cheese and veggie omelettes, and fat Belgian waffles, the hung-over manage to regain their health. The Neapolitan panini is a popular and hearty choice, with grilled chicken, tomato, cheese and pesto ($7.25). Red meat fans can enjoy a variety of Angus beef burgers served on kaiser rolls. The Classic SQ2 burger lets you add your choice of cheese, plus fresh LTO and kettle cooked potato chips ($6.50). Add a root beer float ($4) and you’re a picture of classic Americana. Sweet service and a relaxed vibe that doesn’t push you out the door makes Square Root a great place to get started with your day, or with anything else.

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PEQUENA 86 South Portland Ave

Photo by JACI KESSLER

THE SOUND-OFF SUMMER MUSIC REVIEW

By Gray Hurlburt

CASTANETS | Texas Rose, The Thaw & Beasts

WYE OAK | The Knot

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Wye Oak’s second album The Knot is a ruminative, cathartic squall, which carries songs that sweep out of Maryland with a southern, indie folk bliss. You get the droopy guitar, thunder-like crescendos, and somber aural melodies to boot. It almost makes you want to pack up and move down below the MasonDixon Line. Lead singer and guitarist Jenn Wasner’s voice, which bares a breathy resemblance to Cat Power, carries well with her strings and the terse percussion by Andy Stack. Oddly, the two different songs on this 10-track braid are the loosest, being the opener “Milk and Honey” and the anthemic “Tattoo.” It’s as though Jenn and Andy overstepped themselves in terms of trying to be rousing. But that only exemplifies the quality of their moodiness everywhere else on The Knot. “For Prayer,” “Take It In,” and “Talking About Money” are to die for.

It’s hard not to chuckle when Castanet’s Raymond Raposa first opens his mouth, singing, “Oh, Rose, how I think of you.” The folksy words creak out as though from a rusted door hinge. It’s both humble and endearing, just like the quiet home-on-therange feel of this album. Raposa plucks along on his acoustic with the pace of a pack mule, and he gains musical color from a slew of backing instruments and chorus. Interspersed through the eleven songs are dreamy keyboards, a warm piano and casual handclaps. This freak folk exposition will certainly delight loyal fans of the genre, but it’s not a particular stand out that could play to a greater audience. Texas Rose… seems to have been insulated by a certain predilection to maintain a scruffy-beard, campfire mood.

BAD VEINS | Bad Veins

WHITE LIES | To Lose My Life...

There are several reasons why To Lose My Life… is a portentous and catchy premier. It opens up with two exuberant singles, “Death” and “To Lose My Life,” that evoke a wistful, existential longing, similar to the lyrics of Ian Curtis, and bounce with lavish dance-ability. The bass counts off the beat, here, as an elegant foundation for the pretty toppings of droning keyboard and chipper guitar rhythms.

Overall, it’s clear from beginning to end that White Lies considers itself New Order reincarnated and re-imagined. Frontman Harry McVeigh sings with a familiarly rich baritone and melodramatic refrains, like “Fate always loses hold/Like electric sparks in my heart,” which could’ve come straight off Closer.

Where To Lose My Life… falls short of greatness is in variability and originality. You’ll hear any track from this album and swear you’ve heard it before.

A first listen can easily be confused for an eerie deja vu, equally repetitious and reminiscent. Likely, though, White Lies will grow up into their own by their next appearance.

Newcomers from Cincinnati, Bad Veins is a rock duo serving up a works-pizza of popular influences.

But their eponymous premier came out a little undercooked and sonically dissatisfying. They’ve cobbled together that Julian Casablancas croon, an eclectic baroque pop ensemble and some maudlin words about…well, just being bored. They are from the midwest, after all. Lines, such as “I begin to ask questions/Like I do every day/Like, somebody’s got to do it/Does it have to be me?” only sound more monotonous when sung by Ben Davis—a guy who probably launched his career from the bowels of a Korean karaoke bar. Besides their wonky impersonation of The Strokes, the other musical aspects of Bad Veins come off equally off-the-mark and borrowed.

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Photo by BRUNO ZHOU

GUIDE TO EXTENDED SUMMER FUN

By Gray Hurlburt / Illustrations by Brian White 01 GO TO MONTAUK If you have a full day ahead with nothing else planned, then I suggest you wake up early and travel out to Montauk beach. Montauk is at the easternmost tip of Long Island, so traveling there will take around three hours via subway and Metro North.

Once there you can visit the Montauk Point lighthouse, its six state parks and pristine beaches. And all the while you can reenact scenes from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

02 HIT UP ALPHABETA For those of you wanting to get into the tagging scene now is an opportune time.

You still have pleasant weather on your side for scouting locations, and you won’t have winter ice to deal with on elevated surfaces. You’ll also need the goods, and the best place to turn to for clandestine paints and equipment is the Alphabeta shop, Greenpoint’s famous graffiti emporium. There you’ll find everything you need to make like a dog and mark your scent around town.

03 WALK THERE When you’re heading off campus this extended summer, don’t take the subway or bus line. Fuck, don’t even go on any wheels. Just step out the door and use your own two feet. Take this time to learn the layout of the Dutch named streets, take in the organic scents and enjoy our town at a pedestrian speed. You’ll get some good mileage and color on those Chucks of yours and be able to give out sharp directions at the drop of a hat.

04 TAKE A BIKE TRIP Exactly as the title suggests, find some mobile buddies and take a bike ride to a distant locale. Pack up some towels and cut down to Coney Island, or bike up Kent Street to the waterfront in Williamsburg. On wheels, you’ll get to enjoy the change of brownstone geographies, feel the warm air blow through your dirty hair and then stop for beers at an intriguing happy hour.

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05 GO OUTSIDE This should be common sense, at least if you’re not from fair-weather Miami: just stay outside as much as possible. Why not touch up your sketches in the lawn or read fiction under a maple tree, instead of inside your pigsty of an apartment? Soon enough we’ll be trapped in our bedrooms, chattering from the cold and kicking the radiator that only turns on during the hottest days in August.

06 HAVE A QUICKIE This isn’t the time for fucking around. No way, Jose, because there’s too much fun going on around us to be hooking up for hours on end like normal people. That’s why God invented the quickie. A fast handjob in the closet of your friend’s bedroom will save you a whole amount of foreplay and morning-after discomfort. That’s, like, a ton of time. Plus, you’ll be done in time to finish that French film everyone else is watching.

07 CHECK OUT BIKES IN THE KITCHEN After a brief closure, then a stint with the Newmore Switchblades, the shah of DIY parties is back on the block. Under the name Bikes in the Kitchen, Carlos Valpeoz (C-LO) showcases bands and DJs from here and Baltimore in reclaimed factories, like the Chicken Hut in Bed-Stuy, and other local, crusty estableshments. Anyone who’s been will concur that Bikes in the Kitchen parties are more fun than golfing rotten eggs from rooftops.

08 EAT AT GRIMALDI’S Located underneath the Brooklyn Bridge resides Grimaldi’s Pizza, which happens to dole out some damn good pizza. These pies bake in a coal oven—a growing rarity in NYC—imbuing them with a smoky flavor that even beats Luigi’s. Furthermore, this DUMBO mainstay’s two-mile stretch from Pratt makes it ideal to walk to for an inexpensive date. Just be sure to leave those heels and wrecked plimsoles at home.

09 GET SOME There are still five months until St. Valentine’s Day rolls around. And with spring gone by, we’re placed deep in the heart of lovelessness. You will ask yourself, “What’s a virile person like me supposed to do?” The answer’s simple: Find an inbetweener (In colloquial terms, this person is called a “fuck buddy.” But we’re collegiate here, so we’ll respectfully regard this friend-with-benefits with a name that’s more befitting).

An inbetweener is like a sexual spirit guide—one who will get you through this period from the comfort of a soft bed, with no strings attached.

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25 Answers: 01 Captain Kirk 02 Andy Rooney 03 Steve Buscemi 04 Steve Carell 05 Vincent D’Onofrio 06 The Rock

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GUESS WHOSE HAIRLINE by JACI KESSLER Answers: 01 applecore 02 Eros rib tank 03 Joose

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WHAT DOESN’T BELONG? by PHIL LUBLINER

BRAIN TEASERS

CROSSWORD by BRIAN WHITE ACROSS 02 Best describes Pratt’s sculpture garden 04 America’s #1 clown rap duo 08 Composer and “Viking of 6th Avenue” 10 Lady lead for The Pips 11 Bush Senior’s war 12 Afrofuture free jazz pioneer from Jupiter 13 Brooklyn’s own 420-friendly astronomer, astrochemist,

novelist and TV host. “Billions and billions” 14 Ralph, hurl, puke, blow chunks 17 Main ingredient of the Shirley Temple cocktail 19 15th-16th cent. Netherlandish painter of “Garden of Earthly Delights” 21 Inventor of stereo, multi-track recording and electric guitar 22 Highest grossing movie of all time (without inflation, asshole)

DOWN 01 Face-fucked Monica Lewinski 02 Torkovsky’s 1972 sci-fi drama 03 Jerrica Benton’s alter ego, lead singer of The Holograms.

05 English occultist, occult leader, hedonist, bisexual, mountain climber, “The Wickedest Man in the World” and all-around cool dude. Circa 1875-1947 06 Balled Baez 07 Whoopi’s 1995 future dystopia dinosaur cop comedy 09 The Dude’s beverage 15 Douchebag guitarist obsessed with the Silver Surfer, sued Coldplay in 2008 over copyright infringement 16 “We are not men, we are...”

18 American car industrialist and Nazi sympathizer 20 Horny half-man half-goat

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Answers: 01 Bill Clinton 02 shitty 03 Jem 04 ICP 05 Crowley 06 Bob Dylan 07 Theodore Rex 08 Moondog 09 White Russian 10 Gladys Knight 11 Gulf 12 Sun Ra 13 Carl Sagan 14 barf 15 Satriani 16 Devo 17 Grenadine 18 Ford 19 Hieronymous Bosch 20 Satyr 21 Les Paul 22 Titanic

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Illustration by ANTHONY CUDAHY