April 2010 Praise and Coffee Night Connections

Spring 2010

Connecting the Women of Praise and Coffee Nights!

A

s a little girl I dreamed of getting married, having children and living happily ever after. A life of joy and laughter surrounded by fields of daisies!

Not sure about you, but that’s not how life happened for me.

Inside:

 For Caffeinated Moms Like You

 Praise and Coffee Nights Across the Nation

 From Michigan to Florida  Beautiful You  Full But Never Satisfied  Spotlight on Prescott, AZ  Entering Your Husband’s World

Don’t get me wrong, I am happily married to my Prince Charming, but life has not been a fairytale! It takes a lot of effort to make a marriage between two flawed people work. It takes ‘dying to self’, buckets of forgiveness and a commitment that closes the door of strife as fast as it flies open on it’s hinges.

I didn’t plan for the challenges of business, ministry, children, family and the workings of everyday life.

Where are the bon-bons???

 Starting a Praise and Coffee Night

 One Last Sip

Who’s kidnapped my personal hairdresser and masseuse?

Where are the cleaning fairies that rid my home of dust bunnies while I rest with the pink fuzzy mask over my eyes?

Unreal expectations have sent me careening off the side of an emotional cliff more than once.

I couldn’t have imagined that 10 years ago while working in the ministry that we both loved so much, we would find

ourselves the next day out of the ministry, out of the church and out of the lives of so many friends that we dearly loved.

I never dreamed that, while Mark was on the trip of a lifetime hiking the mountains of Israel, I’d end up on the trip of a lifetime to the ICU with our 13 year old son being diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes.

Isaiah 64:8-9 We are the clay, and You are the potter.

We are all formed

by Your hand.

Who could have known that we’d adopt a special needs child from China. I mean, if I had found out that I was pregnant with a child that had a cleft palate and lip, I would have been devastated. But one day we looked at a picture of that disfigured little girl and we fell in love.

Life rarely happens the way we plan it, but God allows it, and for that reason alone we have to question what we can learn through it.

Sue Cramer Founder of Praise and Coffee Nights Email: praiseandcoffee@yahoo.com

Just like the story of your life, each one of these situations has played a part in molding me into the woman I am today.

God created each of us uniquely in light of the life that He knew all along would be mapped out for us.

God is not the one bringing you sickness or pain, but He is right there to comfort, heal, and love us so tremendously through it all!

When fear comes...and I know it does...remember that He is with you. Though this journey is painful at times, He is doing a work in each of us.

He is the potter and we are the clay.

You may never have dreamed that life would look like it does, but He knew it would.

Embrace who you are today and recognize His hand at work in your life. Don’t despise the journey, let it compel you to fall heavier into the arms of the Father that loves you so much.

Praise and Coffee Nights, where there are no church walls!

Praise and Coffee “Connections” ~ www.PraiseAndCoffee.com

Connections ~ Spring 2010 Page 2

For Caffeinated Moms Like You! By: Denise Dykstra Email: Lifewithfourboys@gmail.com Spring and summer are just my most favorite time of the year. I love to watch the little green shoots come up from the brown earth and pop on the looked dead trees. The breeze warms my face instead of freezing it and all my boys can run outside.

When they come in from the outdoors, rosy cheeked and smelling of sunshine, ah, that is one of the best smells on earth to me.

Spring is also the time for me to spring clean the house. Purge the old, clean the house deeply instead of the “looks good for now” style we usually pull off here on our little farm.

I'd love to tell you the boys throw themselves into helping and its a joyous experience for us but its awful really. Getting them to relinquish all those broken McDonald's toys and broken toys in general is painful at best. They moan and groan and drag their feet. I remind them how nice it'll all be but generally I get so tired of hearing them whine I get to hollering at them and they get to crying and I get to tossing things into the bag in front of them so they will spur on to clean and it's a miserable experience.

However, when the beds are made from sheets and blankets hung on the line and every treasure is washed and displayed in a place of honor and every window is gleaming bright, well, they love it even more than I do.

But it's a lot of work and a critical eye to say “this room could be so much better if....” and then you look around and groan at the job in front of you, but there is only one way to get it done (since I am not Jeannie in “I Dream of Jeannie”)... by getting to work. And the end result is ALWAYS worth the effort.

Spring, the time of new beginnings.

It's also when I make all the big plans for summer. Because every plan for summer just seems big. Sleeping in always tops the list but there are camping trips and beach days and campfires and fishing afternoons...I always start planning in the summer

because otherwise the time just slips by in a blink and I am left in the last two weeks of summer trying to do every big plan I had dreamed up.

Good summers take good planning.

Recently, my husband’s job schedule changed so that he could be the one to take the boys to school. The three school aged boys were ecstatic for this extra daddy time (he is soooo much cooler than mom, you know) and this Momma was more than willing to let him take them so that I had less rush to the morning. More coffee time is always a good thing.

...secretly I thought I was the most spiritual one in this family...

God's plan for me is much prettier and works much better than my own. And secretly I had to admit, I am weary of 'just doing enough to get by'. Revivial would be good, God's word inspiring me to be the me He created me to be, not the me I feel like being. And if I don't get to work on growing in God's word, the summer of my life will be past in a blink leaving me crushed at all the opportunity I missed to be the wife God wants me to be to my husband and the mom God created me to be for my boys.

Ah, sweet summer time.

Can't wait to see how 'redecorated' God makes me.

What I didn't expect was the spring cleaning of my soul that would be brought to my attention.

My husband saw things in a new light.

My irritation with one of our sons who was crying that he didn't want to go to school was a missed opportunity to teach him to pray to God over his worries. My morning commute that was silent sleepy boys listening to the radio was a time my husband felt was a missed opportunity to talk with them about the upcoming day, he is sad for the silence I had appreciated.

I ashamedly admit that first I was angry at my husband for bringing these things up to me. How whiny is that?

Maybe I had learned something from my boys instead of the other way around.

You see, I secretly thought I was the most spiritual one in this family.

But, while once upon a time I did my Bible study (s) faithfully and prayed consistently for my husband and sons, I had grown lax. And as a teen from our church's youth group said so eloquently, “you can't tread water in a river and expect to stay in one place.”

Denise Dykstra shares life with her husband and four boys on their hobby farm in Michigan.

You can read more about her life and adventures at: www.LifeWithFourBoys.com

So, I will be spring cleaning my soul.

It hurts. Badly. But I have to admit,

Praise and Coffee “Connections” ~ www.PraiseAndCoffee.com

Connections ~ Spring 2010 Page 3

A Few of the Praise and Coffee Nights Meeting Across the Nation...

Plainwell, MI

Clio, MI

Allendale, MI

Beaufort, SC Prescott, AZ

Send me your pics so I can add your group!

San Diego, CA Ft. Lauderdale, FL

Summerville, SC

From Michigan to California!

I had never been to California, but this February I hopped on a plane with my traveling buddy Norma and visited Ronel Sydneys Praise and Coffee Night in San Diego!

They are such a sweet group of women, and San Diego in February is a dream come true for any Michigander!

I had a wonderful time with Ronel and her girlfriends, I feel privileged to be sharing ministry with them and all of the women I meet across the country who have captured the heart of Praise and Coffee.

(l-r) Norma Salmon Ronel Sydney Sue Cramer

Women getting together beyond the four walls of the church to share life and faith with other women from all different backgrounds, churches, ages and stages.

Ronel Sydney’s website is: www.mommyaccountability.blogspot.com

Praise and Coffee “Connections” ~ www.PraiseAndCoffee.com

Connections ~ Spring 2010 Page 4

Beautiful You ~ becoming the beautiful woman God has called you to be!

Are you in poor health?

Are you unhappy with your physical appearance?

Do you often feel tired or depressed?

Do you have to rely on medications to take care of your ailments?

Do you want to make a change, but don’t really know where to start?

If you answered yes to even one of the above questions, you are not alone!

There is hope, though. You have God! He can restore your health! He can rescue you from that hopeless pit that you might feel you’re in.

God wants to help you and heal you! He wants you to turn to Him. He is waiting for you!

Jeremiah 29:11-14 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12 - In those days when you pray, I will listen. 13 - If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. 14 - I will be found by you,” says the Lord. “I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land.”

God does have a plan for our lives, but we must actively participate in that plan for it to come true. This takes some effort on our part. Without our cooperation, God’s good plan for us will not happen! This means that we need to do what we are capable of doing and completely trust God to do the rest. We need to begin each day moving forward!

This reminds me of the man in

You are worth it!

John 5 that spent every day of his life lying by the pool of Bethesda, waiting for a miracle.

Not only was this man sick physically, but he was also sick emotionally, which can be much worse and take a detrimental toll on our spirit.

When Jesus asked him, “Do you want to be made well”, the man basically had a list of excuses.

Instead of Jesus showing him pity, He gave him some ‘tough love’ and specific instruction:

“Get up! Pick up your bed and walk!” In other words, “Don’t just lie there and feel sorry for yourself, do something!”

I think we sometimes meditate on our strongholds and areas of bondage rather than meditating on God’s word and trusting Him to deliver us from that bondage. If you want to be healthy, you have to stop making excuses, get up, and step into the great future God has for you!

God sees us for who we are, not what we’ve done. He sees what we can become, not what we are today.

In Jeremiah 30:17, God says, “I will give you back your health and heal your wounds.”

Not only can He restore your health, but He can heal the emotional and physical wounds that may have lead to your poor health!

You are worth it!

Let me say that again YOU ARE WORTH IT! You are deserving of time to invest in yourself. You are deserving of good health!

Casie Dussia is a small business owner and a personal trainer that ministers to women’s soul, mind and body. She lives in Southwest Michigan and enjoys life with her husband John and son Jase.

Casie is a part of the Praise and Coffee Ministry in Plainwell, MI. Email: CasieDussia@charter.net

Praise and Coffee “Connections” ~ www.PraiseAndCoffee.com

Connections ~ Spring 2010 Page 5

When You’re Longing to be Filled Tera Secord is a middle school health teacher that enjoys teaching people of all ages how to work on being their personal best in all dimensions of life. She lives in Southwest Michigan and enjoys life with her husband Tim and two children, Madison and Gabriel. Tera is a part of the Praise and Coffee team with Sue Cramer in Plainwell, MI. Email: haps5@juno.com

“Um …Yes, I would like to order a number 3. You, know, the combo meal. But please give me the diet pop instead of the regular, I am watching my calories.” Ahh, the sound of a drive through order at its finest. A customer in a hurry to get some tasty food, for a reasonable price. Does this sound like a familiar event to you? It’s ironic, we live in the land of the plenty; fast food restaurants on every corner, 100 calorie pre-packed convenience snacks available for any person on the run. But did you know that many of our children, teens and adults are actually nutritionally starving?

I know, you are probably thinking, come on. We have food everywhere. We are eating plenty of calories, certainly enough to give us nutrients. But in reality, regardless of the quantities of foods we are eating, the amount of vitamins and minerals in the foods we are choosing is at an all-time low. What we are getting is food that does have lots of calories and even flavor, but what it is missing is the essential vitamins and minerals that have been stripped from our foods. Our choices for our meals are made more on taste than on nutrient density, and for the first time ever, America is “nutritionally starved”, even in obese people.

So how does this relate to us and our relationship to Christ, and “spiritual starvation”? It is a very similar phenomenon. We can go to church and religious functions, serve on boards, be greeters, etc…but how much time are we really connecting with our Savior?

Do you find yourself running so ragged, that you never have a chance to even fit in a 5 minute devotional? Do you always feel like you don’t have time to come up for air to breathe?

I am speaking from experience, of course.

Being married to a former youth pastor and trying to do my best to cover the ministerial obligations sometimes left my head spinning. I would teach aerobics twice a week at the church, sing on praise team on Wednesday evenings and Sunday mornings (at both services of course), direct VBS, help lead the youth, work full-time as a teacher, plus try to make the “perfect” home so that it would look great if people dropped by from the church in need. Don’t get me wrong, I felt it was a privilege to serve others, but at one point, I couldn’t even remember the last time I had prayed or read my devotional from a book entitled, “Devotions for the Busy Woman.” I didn’t know which way was up or down. All I knew, was I was spiritually starved.

The good news is, I have made a lot of changes. It has taken me years to see the error of my ways. I was so busy that I was actually a hindrance to the Holy Spirit working through me. I was so concerned about the appearance of how it looked to be doing great works for the Lord, that I had forgotten to be connected to the Lord. To be spiritually full, so that I could let the Holy Spirit flow freely from me in every way. Being low on spiritual nutrients (quality prayer time, scripture reading, devotional time and silent time to listen to God) made it much harder for the work to be done. It was all Tera trying to do the work and I never felt emptier.

In John 14 verse 5, Jesus says, “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.” (NKJV) Take some time each and every day to have this connectedness with God. He is waiting to work through you and you will bear much more fruit by being spiritually “full” in Him. Don’t settle for the busyness and become hungry past the point of starvation. Be strong in Him and He will help you feed His flock!

Praise and Coffee “Connections” ~ www.PraiseAndCoffee.com

Connections ~ Spring 2010 Page 6

Prescott, Arizona!

Every Christian could tell you stories—hurt or betrayed by another Christian; left a church because it lacked friendly people; a disagreement between you and another, perhaps with a pastor; or someone asked you to move to another pew because it was “their” pew. I loved the idea of Praise and Coffee, and knew our area needed something like this—a group in an intimate setting, allowing non-church goers and church goers to get together and make a connection. Our meeting represented approximately four different churches in our area—The Hieghts Church, FBC Prescott, Prescott Christian Church, and Harvest Church. Nine people came to the meeting. Kathy Beard agreed to speak at our meeting.

Kathy Beard has taught Bible studies since 1993, first to young people coming out of deep occult involvement, then to women, discipling them into freedom from bondage through Freedom in Christ Ministries and Abiding Life Ministries International. In 1992, she began Intercessors for Prescott Prayer Group with women from several different churches. She was married for 23 years to John, having two sons (now grown), before John succombed to Dementia and joined Jesus in Heaven. She now works for Joshua Fund coordinatoring volunteers and taking them to war zones in Israel to assist in rebuilding homes and restocking bomb shelters. She has also finished a book detailing the day to day emotional and spiritual struggles of taking care of a husband suffering from Dementia (the book is not published nor represented yet).

Each participant received a Gift of Encouragement—a goody bag with one copy of Daily Bread, a scented candle in a glass votive, candy, fresh baked cookies provided by the Hawaiian Coffee and Wine Shop and a tea bag. The whole idea is to spend time with our Father in His Word with a cup of tea and a lighted candle. A door prize consisting of a gift certificate to the coffee shop and a murder mystery by Diane Mott Davidson called, “The Grilling Season,” was available. I chose this book because of the recipes she provides at the back of the book. The group immediatley fused together. Two new-to-the-area people were warmly embraced, and everyone benefited from Kathy's talk. We ended the day awarding the door prize, sharing testimonies, asking for prayer requests and closing in prayer.

Only God could make this gathering special. And in fact, only God could bring together the right people at the right time who needed to hear Kathy's message. Many, including myself, heard her message when she said God was asking her to let Him be her “husband,” at the time when her husband began to change into a completely different person. People tarried in small groups afterwards, talking to one another, and making a connection. All of our Bible-believing churches are one family under Christ and not in competition with one another, but we have become too comfortable in our own skin. If only our “Praise and Coffees” would bleed over into our Sunday church attendance, then no woman or man would ever walk into church and feel alone. They would feel what these women felt—a connection.

Praise and Coffee “Connections” ~ www.PraiseAndCoffee.com

Connections ~ Spring 2010 Page 7

Entering Your Husband’s World Do you really KNOW your husband?

Jaime Rogers www.TheWordInWorship.com

Email: lovemygirls02@yahoo.com

We are made for and transformed through intimate relationships. When we have a personal relationship with God we are able to form a bond with Him and our faith as well as trust is increased. When we let those walls down and choose intimacy with our husbands we will also grow in faith and trust with him.

One way we can connect with our husbands is to enter his world. What is he passionate about? What spills out of him without effort? What brings him Joy? For my husband it is football, more specifically Notre Dame football. His love for the game, stats and players is really hard for me to comprehend. Honestly, the only time I think about ND football is on Saturday when the game is on. In years past, it was really a sore subject for me. I would get so upset that he loved ND football so much. How could he sit and watch games for hours? He doesn't show that much passion for me....

After attending a marriage conference, God opened my eyes to see that I can look at our different passions as a positive or a negative. God sees them as a positive and he wants them to strengthen our marriage. We were given the opportunity to go to three, yes, three ND games this year.

When Shawn got the tickets for the first game I told him to take a buddy. Shawn and his buddy both wanted me to go and thought if I went I might convert into an ND fan. Well, they were right! My passion is not like Shawn's but I loved going to the games. What I really loved was Shawn's joy and sharing it

This gave Shawn and I an opportunity to spend many hours together to talk, laugh and just have fun! So many times we get caught up in the daily grind, forget to have fun, and enjoy the gift that God has given us in our spouse. Work, pay bills, planning dinners, home work for you and or the kids... All of these responsibilities are necessary and yet they tend to suck the life out of us.

My husband, like many men, is a kid at heart. He loves to play outside, be involved in or watch sporting events, or just be active. Men love to share these activities with their wives.

What does your husband enjoy doing with his buddies? Go fishing, watch a game or the races, play golf?

We have a connection and bond with our husbands that no one else can touch, so if they enjoy watching a game with their buddies, they would love to share it with us too. When we enter their world, take time to show interest in what they are passionate about, it ends up as a win for your marriage.

If I would have insisted that he take his buddy, I would have missed this opportunity. After the first game I was totally hooked, wanted the ND gear and was looking forward to the next game. I entered his world and totally loved it! We were blessed with time alone together and it gave us a new bond that we hadn't had before. With busy lives and daily responsibilities, this gave both of us a chance to be a little goofy, wear the gear, do the cheers, totally enjoy the game, and each others company.

What does your husband love that you could care less about? What does he love that you could do with him? You might even be surprised, as I was, that you totally get into it and have a great time!

Q: I’d love to start a Praise and Coffee Night in my community, but I’m not sure I’m qualified...

A: If you are a woman who wants to help other women in this dance of life...YOU ARE QUALIFIED. This ministry is meant to be led by everyday women who love their God and want to inspire other women to know Him more.

I don't read anywhere in the scripture that says you have to be ordained to share life and coffee with girlfriends.

These meetings are not Bible studies and they certainly are not church. The whole point is that we

get away from a “churchy” atmosphere and share life where the rubber meets the road.

A heart to share His story and share life with girlfriends as we encourage one another...is the essence of what was birthed in my heart for this ministry.

Some of the groups have live worship and guest speakers, but that is not a qualification for a Praise and Coffee Night.

Every one of the Praise and Coffee Nights take on it’s own personality...some are large, some are small, some have music, some do not...but the heart and soul of each one should be: Matthew 18:20 For where two or three gather together because they are Mine, I am there among them." NLT We gather, He comes...… how beautiful is that!

For more information on starting a Praise and Coffee Night, go to www.PraiseAndCoffee.com

Praise and Coffee “Connections” ~ www.PraiseAndCoffee.com

A Simply Fabulous Cool Down for Coffee!

Ingredients: 1 1/2 quarts brewed coffee, room temperature 1 cup milk 1 cup half-and-half cream (use another cup milk to lower calories) 1/3 cup white sugar 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 2 tablespoons chocolate syrup Combine ingredients and chill until ready to serve over ice.

Praise and Coffee Nights ~ Connections P.O. Box 112 Martin, MI 49070 www.PraiseAndCoffee.com