Campus Life ~ Welcome Back 2017 Issue 1

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8.25.17

Colorado

DaiLy

Hope & coffee Study spots to sustain both

Closer to what you want.

To what you need.

To who you are.

To where you want to be.

CLOSER TO YOU

Campus Life Issue 1 of 6

Welcome Back

What a rush

Social skills

Join a sorority or fraternity

Student groups can keep you sharp

c’mon up!

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INDEX

Dear freshmen

Study spots ........... Page 4 Intramural sports ... Page 6 Student groups .... Page 12 Resume tips ........ Page 16 Greek life.............Page 19 Campus safety.....Page 22 Campus tech ....... Page 24 Get Social......Page 27, 28 Frats back ........... Page 29 The China Monologues Q&A .............................. Page 36

Campus map..Page 38, 39

ColoradoDaily.com

Main Office: 2500 55th St., Suite 210, Boulder, CO 80301 Editor: Deanna Hardies, 303-4731111, editor@coloradodaily.com Advertising: Jill Stravolemos, 303473-1400, stravolemosj@dailycamera.com Circulation: Preston Latham, 303994-3677

On The Cover

Paul Aiken / Staff Photographer Laura Pantleo looks over a map as she searches for her class on the first day of the 2016 fall semester on the University of Colorado’s Boulder campus.

Paul Aiken / Staff Photographer

A freshperson arrives on campus with nothing but a sackful of dreams and underpants.

Make the most of your mountain of debt

By John Bear Staff Writer o you have decided to attend college, and what an excellent choice you have made! Boulder, Colo. The beautiful University of Colorado campus. The Flatirons, the Pearl Street Mall, yoga pants, etc.

There’s also all that nearby skiing, snowboarding and rock climbing that might cut short your college education and/or life but is so much fun it doesn’t matter. They don’t call Colorado the “Leisure Fatality State” for nothing. Actually, they don’t call it

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that. They don’t call it the “No Free Parking State” either, but they sure as hell should.

Anyway, there are Bear some things you should know, incoming freshman. I’m sorry, freshperson. We are in Boulder, after all.

That’s your first lesson. Also, that dirty hobo asking you for change is an electrical engineer. The rent here is crazy high.

If you are one of those kids whose

parents could afford thousands of dollars for a “college coach,” whatever that is, good for you. Jesus and the Divine Mechanics of the Universe have smiled upon you. Likely, your parents are also footing the bill for your tuition, books, bail money, etc.

If you aren’t one of the chosen ones, let me tell you that the student loan people will follow you to the gates of hell. I was clinically dead for two hours last week during an acute case of boredom, and there they were, cloven hoofed and demanding

See MOST, page 26

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WELCOME BACK • AUGUST 25, 2017 • 3

Study spots

Fuel mind and body with caffeine and snacks

Gird up your loins with turtles, boba and the Flatirons

By Elizabeth Hernandez Staff Writer hen test season rolls around and you’re neck deep in a philosophy textbook that’s making you question all the choices you’ve ever made including pursuing a college degree, there are only two things that will get you through: absurd amounts of coffee and sheer hope.

That’s why the most coveted studying spots on CU’s campus provide access to one or the other, and the best have both. If you’re desperately searching for motivation in the bottom of your thermos and looking for a way to commodify optimism when midterms and finals roll around, look no further than these spots to get your knowledge on.

W

Norlin Commons

by Laughing Goat

The single most important thing to know about studying at CU is that if you sit near the Laughing Goat at Norlin Commons long enough, you will get a free latte. Whether it be from a messed up drink order, someone dashing out for a forgotten final before picking up their chai tea or a barista taking pity on you for rendering your Spanish notes unreadable with your own tears, the magical

words of “free coffee!” will ring through the busy library spot when you need it most. It’s happened to me more than once, and I swear it’s the reason I passed my required science course.

Varsity Lake

This dreamy spot just beyond Norlin Quad can be your muse when you’re in need of inspiration. Pick a bench or spread out on the grass — I highly recommend near the waterfall feature — and crack open that book you need to finish. If you start spiraling into a study-induced panic attack, just stare at one Cliff Grassmick / Staff Photographer of the lake’s many turtles for some zen. Look Tricia Trujeque plays the ukulele near the lake at Kittredge on the at how relaxed they are. Maybe you don’t University of Colorado campus. You could study there, too, if the uke is even need to pass this test. Maybe you can not your thing. just hang out with the turtles for the rest of your life. Admittedly, there’s no caffeine here, but there is a large body of water if you Not all who wander are lost, but here’s a map get thirsty. Just kidding. Don’t drink the lake A new online map of the University of Colorado campus is water. That’s gross. going beyond the typical “you are here” format.

Pekoe Sip House

Housed in the ATLAS building on campus, this study spot offers the standard fare of coffee and tea with added bonuses like boba tea and blended drinks, too. The space is bright,

See STUDY, page 25

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In addition to displaying where buildings are on campus, the map shows things such as wheelchair-accessible sidewalks, construction zones, ATMs, food options and transportation zones.

If users can’t find their way to the Humanities building, for example, the map provides a photo and description of what the person is looking for along with a button for shareable walking, biking and driving directions.

The layers of the map — which include Main Campus, East Campus, Williams Village and the Center for Innovation and Creativity — can be easily updated to accommodate a growing campus or even specific needs like a self-guided tour or incident maps during campus emergencies.

Events including scavenger hunts will be rolled out on the new map on various CU social media platforms.

Visit colorado.edu/map or for a less interactive map, see page 38

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Intramural and club sports

Time to play in the small league

Join a team, make friends and then school those suckas

By Anthony Hahn Staff Writer ant to get back into sports but don’t have what it takes to shine in front of thousands at Folsom or Coors? There’s no shame in it; it’s been a long summer, full of booze and revelry.

For the uninitiated, CU’s got you covered with intramurals and club sports on campus.

Still too much work for you? OK. You can also live vicariously through the Buffs’ many talented varsity athletes or sit your ass on the sidelines and cheer them on with docile, like-minded students such as yourself.

Intramural and club

W

They don’t have this shit in Division I. Broomball! Do you play it?

Brent Lewis / The Denver Post

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may not be the flashiest — they probably won’t get you laid (they almost definitely won’t) — but goddamnit if they ain’t fun.

Intramural

Intramural sports are the most casual way to play organized sports at CU. Teams in the intramurals program play other CU teams — it’s only CU students versus CU students.

You can play all the classics, like three-onthree basketball, ice hockey, football and soccer through CU’s intramural sports programs.

There’s also broomball, innertube water polo and

See LEAGUE, page 8

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Jeremy Papasso / Staff Photographer One advantage of club sports over varsity is that sometimes the uniform is nothing more than a pair of shorts.

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League from page 6 glow-in-the-dark ultimate frisbee for you nontraditional weirdos.

Fall registration generally takes place in late August, and winter sport registration usually happens during the third week of January. Spring sport registration takes place the first week of March.

Like last year, instead of each team charging a fee, a $16.50 sports pass gives you access to all the teams and tournaments.

Visit colorado.edu/ recreation/intramural-sports for official registration dates, more information or to join a team.

If you’re a player or two short, the intramural office has created a nifty CU Intramural Free Agent Facebook group (facebook.com/ groups/48881459083) to help fill out your roster. You can even come up with a clever team name, like “Ball So Hard University” (basketball) and “Sweepin’ it Classy” (broomball) to shout from the huddle when you win.

Club

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Club sports require slightly more commitment than intramurals — but not much, don’t worry. These teams employ part-time coaches and schedule practices that members are encouraged to attend. Club sports teams compete against other schools across the country, too.

There are more than 30 club sports to choose from,

See LEAGUE, page 10

Club sports at CU Baseball Crew Cycling Dance Equestrian Fencing Field Hockey Fly Fishing Freeskiing Hockey, Men’s Hockey, Women’s Kayak Lacrosse, Men’s Lacrosse, Women’s Racquetball Roller Hockey Rugby, Men’s Rugby, Women’s Snowboarding Soccer, Men’s Soccer, Women’s Softball, Women’s Swimming and Diving Taekwondo Tennis, Co-ed Triathlon Ultimate, Men’s Ultimate, Women’s Volleyball, Men’s Volleyball, Women’s Water Polo Men’s Water Polo Women’s Wrestling Learn more at colorado.edu /recreation/recreation/ club-sports/listing

WELCOME BACK • AUGUST 25, 2017 • 9

League from page 8 including baseball, cycling, equestrian, fencing, lacrosse, swimming and more.

CU is well known for competitive club programs — the triathlon club team has won more than a dozen national titles, and the CU club swim

team is not far behind with at least nine national titles.

For more information about club sports, visit colorado.edu/recreation/ club-sports.

Sidelines

Your odds of playing for

the Buffs are pretty slim, but you can help out by cheering them on.

The games are a blast and a great way to get know your fellow Buffs. So are the basketball games, which make the Coors Events Center

hoppin’.

You can help by hanging out with the C-Unit, CU’s loud and bombastic student section, which shows up to most sporting events on campus.

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Conference in 2011 and the past success of the men’s basketball team have given the student section new life in recent years. Former Buffs’ basketball star Spencer Dinwiddie (who now plays for the Chicago Bulls) has even referenced the deafening roar and atmosphere created by the C-Unit when talking about factors that led to Buffs wins.

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Paul Aiken / Staff Photographer Is dance a sport? You get sweaty, there’s a risk of injury, and if you join CU’s dance club you might get a shot to compete in the championships. All signs point to yes.

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Student groups

The beginning of a beautiful friendship Whether you’re into Doctor Who or drawing naked folks, CU clubs can help you find your posse

By Elizabeth Hernandez Staff Writer long with finding yourself and your future career, college is about finding the folks who mesh with your specific brand of weird and hanging on to them through the ups and downs of young adulthood.

To aid in that journey, CU is home to hundreds of clubs and student organizations that cater to all the wild and wacky pursuits a campus of more than 30,000 students can dream up.

For a complete list of oncampus groups, visit the Center for Student InvolvePaul Aiken / Staff Photographer ment website at colorado .edu/involvement. Don’t see Carter Mak flies a drone at Foothills Community Park. If you are the proud owner of a fancy flying contraption and want to use it to seek out new life and befriend it, the Airphoto Club at CU is the place for you, my friend. one you like? Make your

A

own. Here are a few existing clubs that caught our eye:

Airphoto Club

Who doesn’t want to fly a drone around Boulder to take cool pictures and videos?

This club combines photography with flying contraptions, which sounds like a winning combination to meet some great people and learn a thing or two.

People interested in joining the Airphoto Club can email airphoto417@gmail.com and answer the following questions: 1. Do you have a drone? 2. Do you have photography skills? 3. Do you know how to use Photoshop?

See CLUBS, page 14

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WELCOME BACK • AUGUST 25, 2017 • 13

Clubs from page 12 Doctor Who Club With the news of this British sci-fi television show’s female lead that made sad boys even more sad, this club is likely to have a lot to discuss during its weekly meetings. You might not learn anything about the

medical field, but pop culture is important, too.

For more information, go to the club’s Facebook page, facebook.com/groups/ 409548145778130, or email doctorwho@colorado.edu.

Figure Drawing Club

If you’ve ever wanted to

feel like you’re way fancier than you actually are, this club allows you to draw live, nude models.

You don’t even have to be an experienced artist to take part, and some supplies are provided. For more information about the club, email figuredrawing@colorado.edu.

Slackers at CU

lenge the experienced.

Check out the club’s FaceThese slackers understand book page, facebook.com/ the importance of finding groups/slackersatcu, for balance in college. more information.

If finding your center The Jam Society while traversing across a at CU Boulder thin rope floats your boat, If you’re in need of a good this slacklining club is there See CLUBS, page 18 to teach beginners and chal-

Cliff Grassmick / Staff Photographer Paul Aiken / Staff Photographer Jordan Stern carries his ax past Duane Physics on the University of Colorado campus. A jam Keep an eye on the sidewalks for special messages about campus clubs and, let’s be session is just a meetup away if you join the The Jam Society at CU Boulder. honest, probably more than your fair share of penises.

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Resume tips

A ticket to fire off into jobland Strap on your job helmet; we’re going for a cannon ride

By Amy Bounds Staff Writer

said. “That’s a great revelation to have freshman year instead of senior year.” aiting until the end of His suggestions to make your senior year to start writing a resume may yourself stand out as a good job prospect include finding put you on the fast track to leadership opportunities becoming a full-time — and through campus clubs and fully broke — basement activities, working for free dweller. or cheap through internTo up your chances of ships, and working a retail securing a job that pays or campus job on the side actual money, Ben Wurzel, to gain workplace experia manager and career advis- ence. er in CU’s Office of Career Ser vices, says don’t wait Don’t sell yourself short until graduation.

Wurzel said one of the Jeremy Papasso / Staff Photographer “You may come to find biggest mistakes students Get a friend to double-check your work. They might have valuable insights, like recommending “volunteered that you have nothing to make when crafting a as security assistant at specialty conference” instead of “checked costumes for choking hazards at furry put on your resume,” he resume is leaving out work convention.” experience that they think isn’t relevant to the job. But any job you’ve had is relevant, he said, because it proves you can hold a job.

“All professional work experiences, whether it’s at a fast food restaurant or a Fortune 500 company, look Go BuFFs s! good to an employer,” he said. “It’s showing you have transferable skills to other, higher-level work.”

And if you’ve been in college for four years and lucky enough to have someone else paying all your bills? Write that down, too: College is hard work and definitely should be on your resume.

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It’s a numbers game

Bullet points highlighting your experience and skills are good, Wurzel said, but they often lack substance.

Use numbers to quantify your accomplishments.

For instance, a 4.0 GPA is great, but did you graduate in the top 1 percent of your class? Shout that out.

Being a manager at Hollister is cool, too, but it

See RESUME, page 17

Resume from page 16 becomes much more impressive if you oversaw 15 other people.

“Quantifying with numbers can make a resume look really sharp,” Wurzel added.

No mass marketing

You know when you get a mass text from that one friend wishing you a Happy New Year? It’s OK, but it doesn’t give you the warm fuzzies of a personal message sent only to you.

The same is true for resumes and cover letters.

“Do not send out 100 of the same cover letters just changing names of company,” Wurzel cautions. “For jobs you really want, write a cover letter for each indi-

vidual job. It shows you’ve done your research and matched what you’ve got to offer with what they’re looking for.”

He recommends having a master resume with all your creds on it, then creating a

one-page resume that targets a specific job.

Don’t get fancy

Resume templates are all over Buzzfeed and Pinterest these days: Trendy colors

See RESUME, page 18

Photos by Jeremy Papasso / Staff Photographer Left: Never write your resume in a hurry. Also never shave in a hurry. Especially downstairs. Right: Congratulations! You have successfully written a resume that is unblemished by clip art, Comic Sans or sexually inappropriate hobbies. Now to hand it to potential employers, who’ll just make you retype everything into their online application forms.

WELCOME BACK • AUGUST 25, 2017 • 17

Resume from page 17

and fonts, eye-catching graphics — they’re mega cute and oh-so-easy to plug your creds into (giggity).

But use caution, Wurzel said.

“Keep it simple and basic,” he said. “Stay away from anything that’s too flashy. One important thing to keep in mind is your resume is your marketing material. The goal is not to get the job, it’s to get the inter view.”

Don’t forget to proofread.

Ask friends, family, professors and anyone else you can bribe to read over what you’ve written and point out any pesky typos.

Wurzel said counselors in the Office of Career Ser vices are also willing to take a look and review your efforts. Plus, they can help you figure out what types of jobs you should apply for in the first place.

“We have all sorts of assessments to help you get to know yourself better so your work experiences line up with who you are,” he said.

Craft a killer cover letter Ah, the cover letter. One of the trickiest skills to master.

In the first paragraph, you say “why them” — why you want to work there.

Use the second paragraph to say “why you” — why they should want you to work there.

And the final paragraph is when you say, “Let’s get together and chat some more.”

Ask for an interview or prompt a follow up, with a line in there about the mutual benefits of bringing you on board. Keep it to a page or shorter.

Nail your next interview You’ve got your foot in the door.

Don’t make them slam it shut on you by looking sloppy and incompetent.

There are three questions every interviewer is thinking when they talk to you: Do you have the skills (or the ability to learn) needed to do the job? Do you have the enthusiasm to do the job? and Do I like you?

Amy Bounds: twitter.com/ boundsa

Jeremy Papasso / Staff Photographer Ben Hoban signs an email list with the College Republicans outside the University Memorial Center. If you’ve looked through the list of student groups and none of them spoke to you, start your own damn club.

Clubs from page 14 jam session — the music kind, not the jelly kind — this club gathers young musicians looking to play together.

Along with musical creation, the group frequents local concerts.

See if the club hits the right notes

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for you on its Facebook page, facebook.com/JamSocietyCU Boulder.

Elizabeth Hernandez: twitter.com/ehernandez

Greek life

Rush into a red-letter day

It’s like joining a gang, but with more fundraisers and fewer turf wars

By Anthony Hahn Staff Writer ant to go Greek, where the bonds of friendship are only a sip away from your first taste of jungle juice and the living quarters resemble something straight out of the “Night’s Watch”?

You’re not alone.

Roughly 14 percent of University of Colorado undergrads are involved with Greek life on the Boulder campus.

Even the University is starting to come around on those once-eschewed dens of sin, announcing earlier this month that it planned to reestablish ties with fraternities amid two new chapters Cliff Grassmick / Staff Photographer affiliating with the Boulder Consider joining the Pi Lambda Chi Latina sorority if you wanna shake it while wearing perfectly coordinated campus. dance outfits.

W

We broke down the different types of sororities and fraternities you can join, what it will cost you and what to expect during recruitment and beyond.

Sororities and fraternities

There are two types of councils in the University of Colorado Greek system: the Panhellenic Executive Council and the Multicultural Greek Council.

The Panhellenic Executive Council consists of nine national chapters and one associate member that is religiously based, according to Greek life officials.

Recruitment for Panhellenic sororities runs Sept. 1-7.

Look out for the Greek Life

See GREEK, page 30

WELCOME BACK • AUGUST 25, 2017 • 19

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Safety tips

Shake hands with the long arm of the law Haters gonna hate, and takers gonna take, but you can make it harder for them to get away with it

By Mitchell Byars Staff Writer

tures. The first is an emergency button that can be pushed if a student feels veryone wants to enjoy threatened that sends their their college experience, location to law enforcement. and that means having a safe There’s also a timer function campus. that alerts police if a student The University of Colorado does not return from an and the CU Police Departevent to disarm the alert after a set amount of time. ment offer a number of resources to help keep stuInstead of walking alone at dents safe. night, students can also take In emergencies, CU’s advantage of resources like police dispatch center the Buff Bus and NightRide, receives both calls and texts which can be reached at 303to 911, while their dispatch 492-SAFE (7233). line at 303-492-6666 can be Students should also make called in non-emergency. sure they are signed up for Students are also encouremergency text alerts from aged to download the Lifeboth CU and the Boulder Jeremy Papasso / Staff Photographer line Response App, which is County emergency mass I know it will feel like an emergency if someone kidnaps your heirloom, vintage Razor scooter, but the cops free to students attending notification system at might not see it that way. Call the CU Police Department’s dispatch line at 303-492-6666 for nonCU and has two safety feaSee SAFETY, page 23 emergencies, or file a report online.

E

22 • AUGUST 25, 2017 • WELCOME BACK

Safety from page 22 alerts.colorado.edu.

Victims of crimes that are non-emergencies — including theft, graffiti and traffic concerns — are encouraged to use the online system, which is easy and convenient for victims, who can simply file a report online at colorado.edu/police/ records-reports/onlinereporting-campus-incidents.

To reduce the odds of a stolen bike, police suggest keeping bikes inside whenever possible or locking them in well-lit and well-traveled areas when they are kept outside. Bikes also should be secured with U-locks, not the easier-to-break cable locks or chains.

Owners should register their bicycles with either Boulder or University of Col-

orado police, which makes the bikes easier to flag if they are located or sold.

CU students can register their bikes with the CU Bike Station outside the University Memorial Center or online at cubikestation.com.

Laptops, phones and other electronic devices can be registered at CU’s Telecom-

munications Center, 1045 18th St.; Boulder Public Safety Building, 1805 33rd St.; Boulder PD Hill Community Police Center, 1310 College Ave.; and Pearl Street Community Police Center, 1500 Pearl St. Information such as serial numbers and a description of the laptop can help, along

with the IP address — which can be tracked by CU if the laptop logs on to the school’s network.

For more information and resources, visit colorado.edu/police/ crime-prevention-safety.

Mitchell Byars: twitter.com/mitchellbyars

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Technology

Lower price to treat your device CU offers discounts and tech support for students

By Mitchell Byars Staff Writer echnology plays a big role in being a student these days, so the University of Colorado is making resources available for its students.

One of the resources students should be aware of is CU’s software licenses, which allow CU students to download the licenses for computer programs like Microsoft Office, Adobe Creative Suite and ChemDraw.

“Even if it’s not for free, with many of the programs, there is a discount or we can point students to how to get discounts,” said Greg Stauffer with CU’s Office of Information and Technology.

Stauffer said CU also offers access to an online

T

Plug in CU’s Office of Information Technology: oit.colorado.edu

program called L ynda that has training videos on a wide variety of topics like business skills and software training.

Since CU has switched its email from CU link to Gmail, Stauffer said that means students have access to Google apps like Google Drive and Google Docs.

Using their Gmail accounts, students can now also send documents from their mobile devices Colorado Daily file photo Your special status as a CU student means more than discounted movie tickets (keep that ID handy). You can straight to any of the printalso get software like Microsoft Office and AutoCAD for free or at reduced rates. ing stations on campus. All students are given printing credits based on the

See TECH, page 25

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Study from page 25 intimate and known to have a good playlist to provide motivational music for whatever task you’re tackling. If things go awry with your work, there is nothing like inhaling balls of tapioca at the bottom of your drink to take your mind off things for a moment.

UMC: Fifth Floor

Students in the know have been flocking to this study area with a view for a long time. Grab a coffee at the Starbucks downstairs and then head on up to lose yourself

in that big essay — or a daydream about the Flatirons you won’t be able to stop staring at. Either is productive.

Center for Community dining hall

This study option is for the serious snacker only. If you’re in the mood to hole up in one location all day and only get up to retrieve a new bowl of cereal, coffee, ice cream cone and piece of pizza every hour or so, the C4C is the place for you. Spread out all your materials on a table, and let your mind and belly feast for the day, my friend.

Elizabeth Hernandez: twitter.com/ehernandez

Jeremy Papasso / Staff Photographer Your laptop is likely going to be an overburdened workhorse for the foreseeable future. When that pony gets sick, hit up the free tech support at Norlin Library before you opt to put it down.

Tech from page 24

amount of classes they are taking and can add money onto their BuffOne cards.

“It’s valuable if you are just tr ying to print a paper and run to class,” Stauffer said.

CU will continue to offer free, walk-in tech support in Norlin Librar y and at the Technology Learning Center for students with computer problems or who need help installing programs.

Stauffer also said any students who get new technol-

ogy for Christmas should remember to register their devices with OIT, which can use electronic IDs to register ever ything from laptops to tablets to smartphones.

“That information can be helpful to recover a device if it is lost or stolen,” Stauffer said.

For more information on these and other tech resources at CU, visit colorado.edu/oit.

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Most

who wrote his or her dissertation positing the theory that from page 2 all straight white men are repressed homosexuals who numerous signatures on repress other groups of peopaperwork. Thank God for ple as an excuse to not make defibrillators is all I’m sayout with one another. At the ing. same time, a conservative College is where your polit- group on campus will hold an ical views will become fixed ill-advised “affirmative action and immutable, at least until bake sale” where they sell you become old and bitter white cookies for a dollar and (38). Here’s how. You will Mexican cookies for a dime. have at least one professor Hopefully, you will wind up

somewhere in the middle.

College is a time to experiment with drugs. Here are the rules. Marijuana after noon, alcohol on weekends and cocaine when its free.

Actually, that is terrible advice. Scratch that. Here is better advice: Marijuana is superior to alcohol. I’ve been a crime reporter for about 10 years, and I’ve never read the following in a police report: “Suspect had been

ITAL ALIAN L LANGUAGE

smoking marijuana all day when he punched and then choked his girlfriend.” Alcohol, yes. Marijuana, no. Marijuana also makes the Cheeto dust on your fingers look like flames, which is fun when you’re alone.

It’s likely you will be drinking, however. Sadly, it’s a huge part of the social fabric of our country, and Colorado loves its chocolate pumpkin spiced India pale ale (barf).

So if you must get schnockered, try it in your dorm room the first time. You can avoid the inevitable felony charges that arise when you can’t hold your liquor.

All manner of tragedy can strike while binge drinking.

Men: If you are a little buzzed and you are making out with a woman who is so drunk she can only speak in vowels, be a gentleman.

Walk her home, make sure she gets inside safely, go home, pleasure yourself and go to bed. If you believe that you might be a sexual predator, please, kill yourself.

Women: If you are out with a group of friends, one of your members may tap out because she is too drunk to walk. A guy says, “You can leave her with me. I’ll take care of her.” He has a nice

smile. Don’t leave her with that guy! First of all, that’s a violation of Girl Code Chapter 9, Subsection D: Never leave a man behind. Secondly, that guy has nefarious intentions.

But don’t let a few bad apples spoil the college sex.

It should be an opportunity to explore one’s innermost desires and hopefully catch a communicable, but curable, sexually transmitted disease.

College is barely worth the cost of admission if you don’t take that shot of piña coladaflavored antibiotics while the clinic doctor shoots you a stern, unsmiling gaze.

So have fun, and be creative. Read up on affirmative consent, too. It’s important to know that your partner or, if you are lucky, partners are totally willing participants in any weirdness that goes down. It was never an issue with me in college. I’m grumpy and I write well. The women threw themselves at me. Then they left. They always left. Sigh.

Anyway, you should probably study at some point.

Read more Bear: colorado daily.com/columnists.

Stalk him: twitter.com/ johnbearwithme

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Get Social

Above: Craig White teaches “Democracy and its Citizens in the U.S. and EU” on campus. Right: Students in Craig White’s course listen to his lecture

Photos by Nick Mott / Colorado Daily

Above left: Ethan works on a bike outside the UMC. Above: Chloe, AJ and Luna hang out on campus.

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Get Social

Above: Gaia and Eric lounge in the grass.

Top right: Florencia studies in the shade during a sunny day on campus.

Far right: Erik and Mollie grab some lunch by the UMC. Right: Chris Panella studies against a tree on the CU campus.

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28 • AUGUST 25, 2017 • WELCOME BACK

Greek Life

CU re-establishes ties with fraternities

By Elizabeth Hernandez Staff Writer fter two years of fishing for takers in its bid to reestablish ties with fraternities, the University of Colorado announced in July that it has reeled in two outside chapters, making the launch of its own Interfraternity Council official following a 12-year hiatus.

Phi Delta Theta and Sigma Tau Gamma will be moving onto the Boulder scene in the upcoming academic year, although, technically, there will be no fraternity houses to move into. At least, not at first.

“Neither one of them have plans to have an actual facility,” said Stephanie Baldwin, Greek Life assistant director for the university. “They would like to focus more on recruitment and setting up the chapters for success.”

Fraternities officially broke off from the university in 2004 after the alcohol-poisoning death of Chi Psi pledge Lynn “Gordie” Bailey Jr. In the aftermath, CU asked the groups to sign an agreement to delay rush until the spring and ensure each chapter had a live-in supervisor.

Boulder’s fraternities — there are currently 19 — didn’t bite and instead formed an independent, off-campus Interfraternity Council.

CU has been trying to start its own Interfraternity Council for the past two years without success. Sororities and multicultural Greek groups are affiliated with the university and have two CU staffers as advisers. CU is believed to be the only university in the country with a Greek program where fraternities aren’t affiliated with the school but other Greek organizations are.

In October 2015, CU officials were in talks with two outside fraternity chapters to affiliate with the university.

One of those chapters, Delta Sigma Phi, decided to join the independent council instead.

The requirements CU pushed that deterred the Greek groups are no longer on the table, Boulder campus spokesman Ryan Huff said.

A

In fact, Baldwin said she doesn’t know why the existing Boulder fraternities won’t link up with the university.

“The invitation was definitely extended to them and continues to be extended,” Baldwin said.

members of the existing IFC have talked plenty with CU. They just haven’t liked what they’ve heard.

“What do I have to agree to?” Stine asked. “What are the obligations? What authority that undergraduates currently have total control over ‘Is the door closed? No’ would they be ceding to a new Marc Stine, Greek Advocate council or university adminisfor the independent Boulder tration?”

Interfraternity Council, said When CU approached the

independent IFC two years ago to discuss a potential merger, Stine said his organization was turned off by parts of the deal CU said were nonnegotiable, such as the university’s involvement in fraternity discipline and sanctions, advisers and financial disclosures.

“It’s not that the fraternities are anti-CU,” Stine said.

“These guys are true Buffs for life. They don’t like not being

2 new chapters affiliate with Boulder campus affiliated, but they’re not willing to give up their independence they’ve worked so hard to build.”

Baldwin confirmed that their policies have not changed in the last two years.

“If the conditions for being a recognized student organization today are the same as they were two years ago, there’s probably no point in

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Greek

What to expect

from page 19

Fair at the University Memorial Center in August, which is an opportunity for new female students to learn about the nine chapters.

The Multicultural Greek Council encompasses seven sororities and fraternities that tend to focus on social justice, diversity and culture.

Since 2005, fraternities have not been connected to the university officially. The Interfraternity Council acts as a private community organization, but still recruits and caters to male students at CU. There are currently 16 fraternities and two interest groups (basically, fraternity chapters that are in the process of forming) in Boulder.

Look out for formal IFC recruitment events for fraternities in late September.

In the fall of 2015, the university announced that it would like to re-affiliate with the fraternities and launched its own fraternity community for new chapters that would like to start in Boulder. So far, the university has not

One of the perks of fraternity life: bro hugs!

made any announcements about new fraternity chapters joining its Greek life community.

Cost

Some sororities and fraternities have houses for members to live in. There are unofficial, off-campus houses, and there are official

30 • AUGUST 25, 2017 • WELCOME BACK

chapter houses, which are privately owned and maintained by local or national alumni house corporations.

Some chapters require members to live in these houses, and some do not, but Greek life officials say living in Greek life housing is comparable to other housing options.

Greek life for you probably isn’t going to resemble the “neighbors” movies. You can expect social events, philanthropies and volunteer events, friends and even studying (gasp).

Recruitment varies between the three types of Greek organizations. Panhellenic recruitment is extremely formal and structured (to prevent any funny business). You can expect five days of constant talking with active members (women who are already initiated into the sororities), skits, plenty of snacks and maybe even a little bit of heartbreak. The process doesn’t guarantee that everyone will end up in a sorority or end Colroado Daily file photo up in the sorority of their choice.

Recruitment for MulticulIt can cost around $1,300 the first year after you join a tural Greek Council chapters is more informal, starting chapter, which includes with a meeting to gauge some one-time expenses. interest.

After that, it’s slightly less Fraternity recruitment expensive each year, dependis a mix of formal and inforing on which chapter you mal. Interested men can join and whether or not you visit different chapters live in a Greek house. Ask informally during a two-week about cost during recruitSee GREEK, page 32 ment.

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WELCOME BACK • AUGUST 25, 2017 • 31

Sometimes sisterhood means dressing up as hotdogs to raise money for Special Olympics programs.

Cliff Grassmick/ Staff Photographer

Greek from page 30 recruitment period, but they must register.

One popular Greek event is Dance Marathon, an allday event hosted each year by the Panhellenic Executive

Council. In years past, this event has raised more than $40,000 for specific charities and organizations.

If you’re looking for some leadership roles to put on

that resume, Greek life can help you out. There are numerous leadership positions within each chapter and within CU Greek life as a whole.

Anthony Hahn: twitter.com/ _anthonyhahn

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Columnist Q&A

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Around the world with Sieh in ‘The China Monologues’ Catch Alexandra’s adventures every other Tuesday in the Colorado Daily

By Deanna Hardies Colorado Daily Editor or two years, Alexandra has been traipsing around Asia, getting plenty of stares as she goes.

She spent her days in Boulder semi-drunkenly ramSieh bling about brewery specials, but now she regales us with stories from her new home in Beijing, and from other countries across the Pacific. Alexandra’s prepping for a third year abroad, still eager to keep us in the Asian know.

Let’s catch up with the world traveler.

The U.S. Treasury announces it will begin issuing 7-dollar bills. Whose face will be on it?

A particularly adorable penguin.

You have 24 hours to

F

experience life as the opposite sex. What’s your first move?

I’m fascinated by the “accidental boner” cover-up. So I’d probably seek out a situation where that came up and attempt to hide the evidence.

That, or I’d whip off my top and see what it’s like to be shirtless in public.

After a successful interview, the Gods of Small Annoyances have hired you as an entry-level deity. How will your worshipers praise your name?

They would walk at a mindnumbingly slow speed in front of others, blissfully unaware that those behind them need or want to pass.

Their obliviousness would be a sign of their devotion.

Oh no! You’re missing a finger. How did that happen?

One of two options: One of my cheap-as-fuck rings turned my finger green, and so I had it removed. Or I

See SIEH, page 40

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WELCOME BACK • AUGUST 25, 2017 • 37

University of Colorado 2

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Major buildings

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FLMG KITTREDGE LOOP DR.

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Visitor parking Creeks and ponds RTD bus stops near main campus

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KITTREDGE FIELDS

WFLW

Pedestrian/bicycle underpass

BCC U. VCDC DE S. 3 NV 6 B ER OU T U LD RN ER PIK – E

BUCK

KCEN

Housing (residence halls and family housing)

DLYT

DISCOVERY DR.

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Limited access streets

AY AD W

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SKI BUILDING

SEEC

Williams Village

Kittredge Complex

BRO

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Research Park

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IBG

Legend

ARAPAHOE AVE.

COMP

3t

LSRL

SLHS

Y9 WA

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C4C

REGENT DR.

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SLL

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RGNT

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HI

MARINE ST.

LITR

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EHSC

BUSINESS FIELD

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RPRK

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EUCLID AVE. 11TH ST.

FARRAND FIELD

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CU-Boulder Main Campus

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Varsity Lake

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OB1 CEDU

UNIVERSITY AVE.

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IBS GRANDVIEW AVE.

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Need more detail? A full campus map that displays wheelchair-accessible sidewalks, construction zones, ATMs, food options and parking is available online at colorado.edu/map.

38 • AUGUST 25, 2017 • WELCOME BACK

Directory Emergency (answered on campus) . . . . . . . . . . 911 Directory and Operator Assistance Administrative . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-1411 Student . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-786-1411 TDD (Hearing Impaired) . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-0833 Admissions, Regent 125 . . . . . . . . . 303-492-6301 Alumni Association Koenig Alumni Center, 1202 University Avenue . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-8484 Athletics, Intercollegiate, Tickets Stadium 126 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-8337 Bursar’s Office, Regent 150 . . . . . . . . 303-492-5381 Buses, City—RTD, 14th and Walnut Streets . . . . . . . . . . 303-299-6000 Career Services, C4C N352 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-6541 Continuing Education, 1505 University Avenue . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-5148 Counseling Services C4C S440 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-6766 CU Art Museum, 1085 18th St. . . . . 303-492-8300 CU Book Store, UMC 10 . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-6411 Cultural Unity and Engagement Center, C4C N320 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-5667 Disability Services, C4C, N200 . . . . 303-492-8671 Financial Aid, Regent 175 . . . . . . . . 303-492-5091 Fiske Planetarium 2414 Regent Dr. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-5002 Greek Activities UMC 411–413 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-6359 Heritage Center Old Main, third floor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-6329 Housing Residence Halls, C4C S300 . . . . . . . 303-492-6673 Family Housing, 1350 20th Street . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-6384 Housing and Neighborhood Relations, UMC 313 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-7053 International Education C4C S355 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-8057 Library, Norlin, 18th & Colorado Streets General Libraries Information . . . . . . 303-492-8705 Museum of Natural History Henderson Building . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-6892 Parking Services 1050 Regent Drive . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-7384 Police, University (UCPD), 1050 Regent Drive . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-6666 Ralphie’s Resource Center Regent Hall IB80 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-735-7257 Recreation Center, Student 1835 Pleasant St. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-6051 Registrar, Regent 105 . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-6970 Sommers-Bausch Observatory, 2475 Kittredge Loop . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-6732 University Memorial Center (UMC) Reception Desk . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303-492-6161

University Buildings & Facilities AAC Academic Advising Center: SIT (Students in Transition) C-3 ARCE Administrative and Research Center (East Campus) J-2 ARMR Armory D-4 FPA Arts and Sciences Finance and Payroll Administration D-2 OB1 Arts and Sciences Office Building 1 D-4 ATLS ATLAS Building, Roser (Alliance for Technology, Learning and Society) G-6 FH Balch Fieldhouse E-7 BESC Benson Earth Sciences F-9 MCOL Bruce Curtis Building (Museum Collections) G-3 CARL Carlson Gymnasium E-7 CAS Center for Asian Studies D-2 CASA Center for Astrophysics and Space Astronomy L-3 C4C Center for Community I-9 CHMP Champions Center D-9 DACR Children’s Center: Main Offices A-9 CIRE CIRES (Cooperative Institute for Research in Environmental Sciences) F-5 CLRE Clare Small Arts and Sciences D-6 COMP Computing Center J-3 CEDU Continuing Education Center D-4 EVNT Coors Events/Conference Center / Basketball– Volleyball Practice Facility I-12 CHEM Cristol Chemistry and Biochemistry G-5 DALW Dal Ward Athletic Center D-8 DEN Denison Arts and Sciences G-4 DLC Discovery Learning Center F-11 DDW Duane D-Wing F-7 DUAN Duane Physics and Astrophysics F-7 EDEP East District Energy Plant H-13 HUMN Eaton Humanities Building E-5 ECON Economics Building F-3 EDUC Education Building G-4 EKLC Ekeley Sciences Building F-5 EC Engineering Center F-11 ENVD Environmental Design G-7 EHSC Environmental Health and Safety Center H-13 EPRK Euclid Avenue AutoPark G-6 FISK Fiske Planetarium and Science Center J-10 FLMG Fleming Building K-10 • Folsom Field E-8 • Gamow Tower (in Duane Physics and Astrophysics) F-7 COTT Gates Woodruff Women’s Studies Cottage F-3 GOLD Gold Biosciences Building (MCD Biology) E-7 GROC Grounds and Recycling Operations Center G-13 GUGG Guggenheim Geography F-3 HALE Hale Science E-3 HLMS Hellems Arts and Sciences (includes Mary Rippon Outdoor Theatre) G-4 HEND Henderson Building (Museum of Natural History) G-4 HFOC Housing & Dining Services Facilities Operations Center K-3 HSSC Housing System Service Center J-2 MUS Imig Music Building H-7 IPRC Indoor Practice Facility D-9 IBG Institute for Behavioral Genetics K-1 IBS Institute of Behavioral Science C-3 ITLL Integrated Teaching and Learning Laboratory G-11 IEC International English Center G-2 BIOT Jennie Smoly Caruthers Biotechnology Building L-2 JILA JILA G-7 KTCH Ketchum Arts and Sciences F-6 KOBL Koelbel Building (Business, Leeds School of) H-10 ALUM Koenig Alumni Center E-2 LSTR LASP Space Technology Research Center L-3 LESS Lesser House F-11 LSRL Life Science Research Laboratory, RL4 K-1 MCKY Macky Auditorium D-4 MSSC Marine Street Science Center, Research Laboratory, RL6 J-2 • Mary Rippon Outdoor Theatre (at Hellems Arts and Sciences) G-4

MATH Mathematics Building F-10 MKNA McKenna Languages E-4 MUEN Muenzinger Psychology E-7 • Museum of Natural History (in Henderson Building) G-4 LIBR Norlin Library E-6 MAIN Old Main E-4 PFDC Page Foundation Center D-3 PDPS Police and Parking Services G-12 PORT Porter Biosciences E-7 POWR Power House F-6 RAMY Ramaley Biology E-6 RGNT Regent Administrative Center I-8 RPRK Regent Drive AutoPark G-12, J-9 RL2 Research Laboratory, RL2 K-1 GH-3 Research Park Greenhouse K-1 LITR Rose Litman Research Laboratory, RL1 J-1 • Roser ATLAS Building (see ATLAS Building) G-6 SLL Science Learning Laboratory K-2 OBSV Sommers-Bausch Observatory I-11 SPSC Space Science K-3 SLHS Speech, Language, and Hearing Sciences I-11 STAD Stadium Building E-8 STTB Stadium Ticket Building F-9 REC Student Recreation Center D-7 SEEC Sustainability, Energy and Environment Complex (SEEC) L-4 SEEL Sustainbility, Energy and Environment Complex L-Wing (SEEL) L-4 TLC Technology Learning Center G-6 TB01 Temporary Building No. 1 D-6 TRAN Transportation Center J-2 UCTR University Administrative Center and Annex I-7 CLUB University Club H-6 UMC University Memorial Center G-5 THTR University Theatre Building (includes Charlotte York Irey Theatre) F-4 VAC Visual Arts Complex (includes CU Art Museum) G-6 WARD Wardenburg Health Center H-7 WLFL Wolf Law Building L-11 WDBY Woodbury Arts and Sciences E-5

University Housing ADEN Aden Hall (Engineering Quad) G-9 ANDS Andrews Hall (Kittredge Complex) J-11 ARNT Arnett Hall (Kittredge Complex) J-12 ATCT Athens Court C-7 ATHN Athens North Hall B-6 BKER Baker Hall G-7 BCAP Bear Creek Apartments L-6 BCC Bear Creek Commons (Williams Village) L-5 BRKT Brackett Hall (Engineering Quad) G-9 BUCK Buckingham Hall (Kittredge Complex) K-12 CHEY Cheyenne Arapaho Hall H-7 CKRL Cockerell Hall (Engineering Quad) G-10 CROS Crosman Hall (Engineering Quad) G-10 DLYT Darley Towers (Williams Village) K-5 FACT Faculty–Staff Court C-5 FRND Farrand Hall H-9 HLET Hallett Hall H-9 KCEN Kittredge Central Hall (Kittredge Complex) J-11 KITW Kittredge West Hall (Kittredge Complex) J-10 LIBY Libby Hall G-8 MRCT Marine Court B-7 NTCT Newton Court B-9 REED Reed Hall H-10 SWLL Sewall Hall D-5 SMCT Smiley Court L-1 SMTH Smith Hall (Kittredge Complex) K-11 STRN Stearns Towers (Williams Village) K-6 VCDC Village Center Dining and Community Commons L-6 WLRD Willard Hall H-8 WVN Williams Village North Hall (Williams Village) K-6

WELCOME BACK • AUGUST 25, 2017 • 39

Sieh from page 36 tried to feed Manfriend a bite of my blueberry muffin and he got a little over-zealous.

That astronomer friend who owes you $100 has just discovered the large “Planet X” just beyond Pluto’s orbit.

She offers you naming rights to get out of debt. What’s the name that’ll go in future textbooks?

Leonard.

You wake up to a string of epithets shouted in a familiar voice. Gordon Ramsay is pacing in your bedroom, and he won’t go away until you cook something worth his time. What dish can you

make to appease him?

Overcooked vegetables served over undercooked Rice-a-Roni.

What new musical genre will take over the charts in 2018?

My favorite bands from the ’90s will make a comeback.

In lieu of original hits, they cover Disney movie classics.

You have died and become a ghost. (My condolences.)

What place or object do you haunt, and how do you express your otherworldly frustration?

I would circle around various Mexican food establish-

ments. Whenever someone really wanted queso, the shop would mysteriously be out. Why should they get any when I don’t anymore?

Centuries from now, only five words remain legible on your grave. What are they?

Knowing my luck, “loving daughter, sister and wife,” “lifelong friend” or “world traveler” would fade before “clumsy as fuck,” “nerd” or “really tall.”

Read more Sieh: coloradodaily.com/columnists.

Courtesy Alexandra Sieh Stalk her: instagram.com/ Mind your business, you two-dimensional doofus. I ain’t got shit to say wildeyed_wandering. to you.

Frats from page 29

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campus is able to provide,” Anderson said. “I think they’ve been wanting to see an interfraternity council return to campus, so we saw this as Second try an opportunity to be good Phi Delta Theta, the largest campus partners, which is fraternity to feature an alcowhat, ultimately, made this the hol-free housing policy, found- ideal destination for us.” ed a chapter in Boulder in Anderson said he loves clar1902 but left campus in 2002. ifying that a fraternity isn’t a Sigma Tau Gamma, with 76 house. While he said Sigma chapters across the country, Tau Gamma might pursue a including one at Colorado facility down the road, that State University in Fort Colshouldn’t deter students from lins, will start its second state joining. chapter at CU. “It isn’t the bricks and morDean Anderson, director of tar,” he said. “It’s the bond recruitment and growth with that’s created.” the Sigma Tau Gamma headWith a history in Boulder, quarters, said being among Phi Delta Theta pointed to its the first chapters to kick off strong alumni support as a set the new university venture up for their success. was appealing because of the “Our long-standing history amount of support the school and legacy at Boulder brought us back,” wrote Sean Wagner, was providing.

“One of the most reassuring chief operating officer for the things for me was the amount Phi Delta Theta Fraternity and Foundation, in an email. of help and resources the having a meeting,” Stine said.

“Is the door closed? No. Are we going to knock on it?

Unlikely.”

That moment you

own your journey.

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