Reflections - Spring 2018

reflections SPRING 2018

With your support, families can find hope after loss. p. 3

Masonic Village Hospice 1

REMEMBERING as a family Your support brings courage and strength to families who are suffering a loss.

For the Meridionales, the best parts of being a big Italian family are the laughs, the stories and most importantly, the bond. The family has a bond that has never wavered, even after losing the woman who gave life to it all, Carol Meridionale, beloved wife, mother and grandmother.

Theresa, a nurse manager at Masonic Village, was familiar with Masonic Village Hospice and suggested it to her mother, who could still express her wishes at the time. Theresa was unsure what her response would be, but was surprised to learn her mother knew it was time for hospice.

When Carol, who was a loving and dignified woman, began to lose her short-term memory, she and her husband, John, thought little of it.

Unfortunately, a few short months later, Carol was diagnosed with dementia in her early 70s, a disease she had watched her mother suffer from. Carol’s dementia, caused by vascular and circulatory issues, progressed quickly.

“I think she did it for my dad,” Theresa said. “He was the love of her life, and she didn’t want to see the stress on him.”

John vowed to take on the role of primary caregiver and dedicated every moment to Carol, his wife of more than 50 years. He bathed her, walked with her, cooked for her and emotionally supported her for years.

As time went on, while Carol and John’s daughter, Theresa, found her dad’s dedication touching, she and her siblings knew he needed help.

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Carol, who began struggling to construct sentences, said two words to her children and husband before entering into hospice care, “love” and “family.”

Masonic Village Hospice welcomed Carol and the rest of the Meridionale family with open arms. They removed the pressure from John and allowed him to be just a husband.

“I felt better knowing she was in more capable hands,” John says. “As soon as the staff came in to meet her, she was all smiles and hugs.

They loved her, respected her and were devoted to her.”

Theresa, whose coworkers were now caring for her mother, was grateful in her own way. “Everyone surrounded me with love,” she said. “The Masonic Village mission was so alive during that time.”

Loving her mother as much as she did, it was hard for Theresa, a trained medical professional, to make the decisions she would normally not think twice about.

“Hospice was patient with me,” she said. “They educated me and guided me because they know it’s different when you’re on the other side of the coin.”

In her final weeks, Carol was constantly surrounded by family, including her grandchildren, who had special memories of their grandma reading them children’s books at every family event while they gathered around the couch. One of the books, Watch Out for the Chicken Feet in Your Soup, portrayed a matriarchal Italian grandmother who always cooked for and spoiled her grandchildren. The book is one of their

favorites, as it reminds them to this day of their own grandma and the old house she loved to fill with her family.

Each of her eight grandchildren came with a children’s book to read for Carol as her journey ended.

“We all coped in our own way,” Theresa recalls. “For example, my sister always wanted to do something for mom, so hospice educated her and allowed her to do things for her right until the very end.”

By the end of her life, Carol had forgotten how to speak, walk and care for herself. Daily tasks as simple as eating ice cream, her favorite food, took hours. With help from hospice, Theresa and the rest of Carol’s daughters made the best of the situation and still tried to enjoy the things they once did, like girls’ days out.

“I’ve dealt with many hospices in my career,” Theresa said. “I speak for my entire family when I say there is no hospice better

2017-2018 MASONIC VILLAGES

Giving Catalog Pair of Glasses, p. 6 Sweater, p. 10

than this one. It’s who they are as people. It’s that they make it okay to laugh and cry at the same time.”

John never thought he would witness his wife on hospice care; however, it was something he will never regret. “Your mind has to be open to the concept of hospice,” John says, “and I’m so glad we were.”

Hospice gave the Meridionale family time to reflect, share memories and grieve together. They also got to recognize Carol’s final wishes. “She got so much out of life,” Theresa recalls. “She wanted her funeral to be a party.” The family chose southern hymn songs for the funeral and clapped in rhythm as she left out of the front doors of the church.

“It was just the way she wanted it, and I was delighted to see hospice staff at the service,” John says. “They never gave up hope on us, even when they were well aware that her time was coming soon.”

by hospice and passes on his knowledge to the rest of the family.

“This hospice doesn’t stop caring,” he says. “They do a great job educating you, and if you want to talk, you can, but you don’t have to.”

However, John’s family is keen on grieving through conversation. “If dad is feeling lonely, he’ll call us all up and say, ‘I need to get together with all of you,’” Theresa said. “If I’m feeling bad, I know I can call anyone in my family.”

The Meridionales will be celebrating the first anniversary of Carol’s passing this year at Red Lobster, one of her favorite restaurants. There will be 17 family members in total, each coming with laughter and precious memories to tell.

“Hospice gave us what we needed to just be a family and start healing,” Theresa said. “Today, I find my mom in flowers and in things my daughter says. If I could only have the trust she had in God and those around her, I would be half the woman she was.”

Today, John faithfully attends monthly support groups offered

Make a Difference for Patients and Families Donate from our Giving Catalog, full of gifts for hospice patients and families. You can make an impact with one gift!

ITEMS INCLUDED: • A Special Moment - $100 • Fill the Comfort Cart - $50 • Pair of Birds - $30 • Blanket for a Veteran - $25 • Bouquet of Flowers - $15

Request your Giving Catalog using the enclosed envelope, or donate online at MVGivingCatalog.org.

GIVING BACK after loss This hospice volunteer and donor is remembering her father by paying it forward.

“ I give for my dad, because I know he would feel the same way.”

When Carol Olnick discovered her father’s health was declining, she decided to turn her life in a new direction. Recently retired from a demanding executive role with the federal government, Carol left her city life and moved to Central Pennsylvania to be closer to her parents.

Carol’s father, Carl, had been battling heart disease, Parkinson’s and complications from a stroke for nearly 20 years.

“Doctors would say there was nothing they could do for him,” Carol said.

“Then, the next thing we knew, there would be a new experimental treatment available. He was really defying all the odds, and in some ways, we thought he’d never let go.”

Slowly, Carl was starting to let go. He wasn’t enjoying the things he once loved to do and began becoming restless with anxiety and pain, causing him 4

to withhold some of the medications that were keeping him alive.

Unlike many other families, the Olnicks welcomed the word “hospice” with open arms.

“Although it was hard, I was ready to see some of the burden taken off my mom,” Carol said. “I could tell dad was done with being poked and prodded.

He just wanted to be comfortable.”

Carol’s mother was cooking all her husband’s favorite meals, assisting him with his personal care and driving him to all his appointments.

These were all large tasks to ask of a then 78-year-old woman.

Once hospice worked with Carol and her mother to formulate a care plan for Carl to keep him stabilized and pain free, Carol realized there was still valuable time left with her father. “He was alert and coherent, which was important to

us, and hospice knew that,” she said. “He told me stories about his childhood and his time in the Air Force. It’s a gift when you can spend time with someone, the time you miss out on when you’re too busy with your own life and career.”

Carol’s father’s biggest end of life wishes were to stay in his home and not to let pain medication dull him. He remained on hospice for nearly two years, which was unexpected and remarkable.

Fortunately, with the help of hospice, Carol’s father met all of his most important milestones, which included his 60th wedding anniversary, his 80th birthday and watching his favorite baseball teams win championship games.

“The staff became our family,” Carol recalls. “At first, dad was hesitant to have people other than mom care for him, but eventually, mom and I would look at each other and smile when we heard dad laughing with the staff.”

The Olnicks’ hospice nurse, Bob Heim, became like a son to Carl, and they shared nicknames and inside jokes.

Carol and her mother both realized that although Carl’s specialty doctors were great, they could have never given him the day-to-day support like hospice staff could. “Whenever dad didn’t want to do something, we’d tell him, ‘Bob said to do this,’ and he would smile and do it,” Carol recalls.

“There was such a connection with everyone,” she said. “Mom and I

still say we wouldn’t have known what to do without them.”

“I didn’t want to lose their friendship.”

Toward the end of Carl’s life, with each passing day, hospice encouraged Carol and her mother by telling them they were doing everything right. “They saw that Dad’s slow death was taking a toll on us,” Carol recalls. “Dad was getting frustrated waiting for the end to come and nothing was coming.”

Although she witnessed her father’s hospice journey first hand, she didn’t quite know what to expect as a volunteer. A year and a half later, her experience turned out to be a leap of faith that was well worth it. “I was afraid I would feel sad all the time, but I don’t,” she says. “I get more out of it than what I give. It’s too bad some people don’t know about hospice soon enough, because I see it gives people peace, like it did for us.”

During this time, Carol was sleeping on her parent’s couch each night, worried not only about her father’s health, but her mother’s emotional health, as well.

“Bob told us how hard it is to see your loved one getting sicker, and that he had the privilege of being the medical professional,” Carol recalls. “He said this, but I saw him leave dad’s bedside saddened several times. I thought to myself, ‘Now, that is a compassionate professional.’”

Looking back, Carol realizes how close her dad had grown to staff over the years, something that could only come with talking about care plans, changing out medications and facing the fears of the unknown together.

After her father’s passing in March 2016, Carol knew she wasn’t ready to say goodbye to the hospice team.

“I told them I would be volunteering when I was ready,” Carol said.

Today, Carol is part of the team that changes lives like hers.

“Sometimes all the patients need is company and conversation,” she says.

“They tell me their happiest memories, and they also tell me their regrets.”

If a patient isn’t coherent or able to speak, Carol plays them their favorite music, reads to them or even resorts to telling funny stories about her two beloved dogs.

“I believe every patient can hear me, and I don’t want them to be afraid or alone,” Carol said. “When I see their family at their bedside, I feel privileged to witness such love and devotion.”

When family is unable to be at the bedside of their loved one, Masonic

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Village Hospice staff and volunteers fill the void. “I was visiting one patient, and I could tell his passing was coming,” Carol recalls. “I just held his hand and told him it was okay for him to go. His death was beautiful, and there were signs of relief for him. I just told him how grateful I was to have met him.”

Volunteering has provided Carol with an outlet to overcome her grief as well as reflect on her own family’s last few years.

“When my dad died, I didn’t have the same experience I did with that patient,” Carol recalls. “I was trying to call everyone, and I missed the moment. I just wish I had held his hands and provided a calmer sendoff like I try to do for patients now.”

Carol is taking a memoir writing course at a local library, which is also helping her heal. She hopes to write patients’ stories in the future, so their families may have a special keepsake. In addition to giving of her time, Carol also financially supports Masonic Village Hospice because she believes so deeply in its mission.

“I just want hospice to be able to keep giving the same kind of care my dad received to others,” Carol said.

“I give in honor of my dad, because I know he would feel the same way.”

Many family members, like Carol, find volunteering with Masonic Village Hospice is a good way to heal and reflect on their own hospice journey, as well as give to others. Volunteer training sessions will take place on April 23 and 30, from 8 a.m. - 12:30 p.m., and on Nov. 1 and 7, from 8 a.m. - 12:30 p.m., at Masonic Village in Elizabethtown. Another training session will be held at the Lititz Church of the Brethren on May 24, from 8 a.m. - noon. For more information and to register for a session, call 717-367-1121, ext. 33024.

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THANKS to Our Generous Donors Memorials Memorials and honors received Nov. 1, 2017 - Jan. 31, 2018 MEMORIAL

Margaret M. (Peggy) Adams M. June (Wagner) Beears Doris J. Berrier

Kenneth C. Blankenhorn

Beatrice M. Boyd Miriam F. Butz Carol R. Compton Mary L. Eichelberger

Linda K. Fahnestock Conrad Hess Haagen

Agnes J. Haggarty

Perry D. Heath Robert S. Hinkle

Daniel J. Howell

James E. Keener Dean E. Koppenhaver William R. (Bill) Loew

Paul S. Long Anna Mae Luciotti

Richard C. (Dick) Mann Richard Mann Robert J. Matthews Don and Lois McCulley James C. McPeake Howard W. Miller Robert G. Price

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DONOR

Ronald and Ardeelou Adams David and Delores Walmer Mark Berrier Jeffrey and Cynthia Forster Rosemary Shearer Scott and Kim Wolgemuth Kevin, Andrea, Meredith and Lindsey McManus Jill Stauffer and Family Charles F. Snyder Funeral Home and Crematory, Inc. Lewis Compton LaRue Helm Harold Meck Donald and Rose Marie Thompson David and Delores Walmer June Adams John Evans Patricia Fry Mary Ann Haagen and Charles DePuy Ernst and Ruth Rinder Jim and Barbara Bonner Jim and Betty Gotta Warren and Helen Heidelbaugh Bruce and Joan Howarth Gerald and Patricia Kemmerer Shirley Lou Thomas Horace and Prudy Mann Terry and Sandi Crumbling Pat Davidson Rosemary Hulsman Steve and Shelley McCloskey John and Diane Horne Erik and Karen Palm Raymond and Donna Parks Timothy Brooks Richard and Jo Ann Keller Damian and Deborah Gorman Bruce Hampton Bryan and Suzanne Lehman Jack and Marjorie Loew George and Barbara Young Janicemarie Long Deborah Bachman Oren Bachman Fern Barry Rosalyn Eads Rose Marie Houser Lebanon Chapter No. 115, OES Francis and Carol Luciotti Mario Luciotti Gary and Marilyn West Audrey Mann and Family Joyce Dickerson Dolores Matthews Carol Hensel Mike and Terri Melone Larry and Carol Wolford Velma Schucker and Family

Hazel Pryer Paul G. Rearick Richard M. Reber Dorothy E. Reifsnyder

Cora E. Rostad

Donald E. Schmick Robert K. Sloan Peggy A. Spickler Beverly Jane Swarthout

Evonne “Dolly� Sweigart

Nancy B. Tondora Roger Whittier Richard D. Yeagley

David Rainsford Charles Brecht Bruce and Joan Howarth Ralph and Elizabeth Davis Audrey Stroup Jack Lesher Ken and Marge Pineda Audrey Stroup Thomas Schmick Edna Sloan Rebecca Carter Dorothy Fetterhoof and Family Nancy Koch James and Mary Shaffer Exelon, 3 Mile Island Carolyn MaGatz TMI Cares, Inc. Sekhar and Lisa Ramaswamy David and Mary Ellen Lord Herman and Lillian Anspach

Love of Angels Memorials MEMORIAL DONOR Ronald L. Abel James and Jane Albert Helen M. Arnold Fred L. Bender Richard Black Kenneth C. Blankenhorn Betty Blindauer Mary Weiss Blouch J. Glenn Brossman Jay G. Brossman Miriam E. Brubaker Donald P. and Mary A. Byers Clyde D. Cooper Earl A. Deibert Anna K. Deik

Robert (Bob) Edge James T. Edwards Raymond L. and Theresa E. Fetter Dwight and Mary Fetterhoff Alfred E. Flowers Eleanor (Ellie) Forney Emory Freet Grace M. Frishkorn Robert J. Fulton, Sr. Richard C. Funk Eleanor (Jean) Gaspari

Jack L. Gillmore Marion Graham Harry and Elizabeth Greenawalt Elizabeth Greenawalt Michael L. Grove Eva S. Hardy Caroline Harman Gladys R. Heisey Larry Hess

Kathleen Abel Wendy McDonald Palmer Arnold Brian and Sheri DeArmitt Anne Dunkelberger Yvonne Blankenhorn Anne Dunkelberger John and Anne Stevens Sally Kinzey Sally Kinzey Barbara Eberly Donald and Rosemary Byers Del Donna Forrest Betty Deibert Richard and Cynthia Deik Robert and Mary Anne Deik Pat Edge Viola Walmer-Edwards Barbara Eberly Donna Robinson Patricia Flowers Robert and Marilyn Forney Kay Freet Richard and Cynthia Deik Robert and Deborah Williams Shirley Mason James Gaspari Marjorie Menear Vicki Gillmore Shirley Mason Michael Greenawalt Richard and Sherry Greenawalt Marianne Grove Harold Hardy Diane Leiby Lloyd Heisey Jonathan Hess

Eugene W. Hieber Ruth Turpin Carey Lynn Hiestand Harry and Doris Longenecker Edward C. Hill Patricia Hill-Kaplan Leslie S. Hinden Sally Kinzey Anna M. Hocker Julie Newcomer Robert (Bob) Hoffman Magdalena Hoffman Frank M. Houck Ruth Houck Charles (Bud) Jamison Mildred Jamison Ruth H. Johnson Elvin and Jestena Yeagley Sheldon Kaplan Patricia Hill-Kaplan Mary Kleponis Francis Kleponis Teresa F. Kornsey Thomas and Carol Fanelli Linda Kurtz Richard and Sherry Greenawalt Grace E. Laubach Mary Rawcliffe Michael W. Lenker Warren and Helen Heidelbaugh

James and Cynthia Hossman Ralph E. Lentz Miriam Lentz Edward R. and Dorothy P. Lloyd Christine Petrucci Geoffrey E. and Jeanne C. Mann Horace and Prudy Mann Ned A. Masenheimer Phyllis Masenheimer

Walter and Cynthia Shultz Charles and Gladys Masterson Kay Freet Robert J. Matthews Dolores Matthews Warren (Pat) McCarty Joyce McCarty R. Dale McDowell Lavonna McDowell Richard B. McFarland Jean McFarland James (Jim) McMahon Dianne McMahon William and Helen McNair Jane Rhen James C. McPeake Karen and Kim Garove John Mentzer Richard and Sherry Greenawalt Thomas (Tom) Merwin Rosemary Merwin Dorothy G. Meszaros Kenneth and Rebecca Reigle Louis D. Miller Sophia Miller Samuel L. Miller Gil and Susan Hulshizer Daniel (Dan) Milligan Amy Milligan Elva Morgan Robert and Donna Starr H. M. Morgan William and Nancy Pearson Monica Moyer Gil and Susan Hulshizer Harold Murphy Joe and Barb Murphy Thomas L. Murphy Joe and Barb Murphy Robert M. Murray Joe and Barb Murphy John M. Myers Delores Myers James G. Novinger Doris Novinger Carl F. Olnick Carol Olnick W. W. Pearson William and Nancy Pearson Anita L. Pence George Pence and Barbara Zitrick

Michael and Sarah Pence Ruth J. Phillips James Phillips Elizabeth U. Putt Lloyd Putt Kathleen Raidy Rosemary Merwin Benjamin (Ben) and June Reed Rebecca Reed Dorothy (Dottie) Reifsnyder Warren and Helen Heidelbaugh Bernice Reigle Kenneth and Rebecca Reigle Mildred O. Reilly Pat Edge Edward (Ed) Renoll Dean Stauffer Jean E. R. Ressel Dolores Landis George W. Rhen Jane Rhen David E. and Joan E. Samuel Barbara Samuel Loftus Don and Ginny Schrecker Paul Schrecker Nancy K. Seiders Terry and Lori Seiders Nancy Service Walter and Susan Service Perryne B. Service Walter and Susan Service Walter C. and Mildred S. Service, Jr. Walter and Susan Service John L. Shreiner Sally Kinzey Robert K. Sloan Edna Sloan

Glen A. Smith Robert and Marilyn Forney John P. Smuck Melissa Frankhouser Parents of Sobotka Family Bernard and Judith Sobotka Robert and Catherine Spangenberg Larry and Carol Wolford Henry S. Starr Robert and Donna Starr Eleanor Stroud Amy Milligan Karen L. Swope Ronald Swope Carolyn A. Thomas Ruth Turpin Donald G. Turn Margaret Turn Herman R. Turpin Jeanette Turpin

Ruth Turpin Charles A. Walker Vikki Mixell Kittie Walker Vikki Mixell Henry M. Wildasin Ann Wildasin William N. Willard Ann Marie Ulrich John W. Zitrick Barbara Zitrick and George Pence

Love of Angels Honors HONOREE DONOR

Darlene Carter Jeremy Connell Robyn Cowper Jim and Cheryl Deibert Dunkelberger Children Jim and Diane Gordon Andrew Grant Tamara Hake Nick Hehnly Robert (Bob) Heim

Amber Leed-Pawuk Alvin L. Leisey Phyllis B. Masenheimer Masonic Village Hospice Team

Elaine M. Miller Mary A. Murphy Mona S. Murray MVE Help Desk MVE Switchboard Operators Sandra Negrete Timothy A. Nickel

Eileen M. Pagano Dorothy E. Reifsnyder Josie Schies

William C. Stephens Anastasia Taylor Hospice Care Staff Wonderful Aides on BF2 USS Spangenberg DE 223 Carol S. Wolford Cindy Zimmerman

Pat Edge Anne Dunkelberger Robert and Shirley Cowper Betty Deibert Anne Dunkelberger Betty Deibert Adele Mace Anne Dunkelberger Anne Dunkelberger Jean McFarland Carol Olnick Marjorie Menear Warren and Helen Heidelbaugh George and Cindy Shultz Miriam Lentz Doris Novinger Gil and Susan Hulshizer Joe and Barb Murphy Joe and Barb Murphy Anne Dunkelberger Anne Dunkelberger Karen and Kim Garove Kay Freet Rosemary Merwin Anne Dunkelberger Susan Ostermueller Rosemary Merwin Carol Olnick Warren and Helen Heidelbaugh Anne Dunkelberger Adele Mace Adele Mace Larry and Carol Wolford Ruth Fishel Gil and Susan Hulshizer

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Masonic Village Hospice One Masonic Drive • Elizabethtown, PA 17022-2219 717-367-1121, ext. 18449 • MasonicVillageHospice.org

Who We Are Since 2009, Masonic Village’s trained, compassionate hospice staff have cared for thousands of patients and their families, focusing on the physical, emotional, social and spiritual needs of patients so they may complete their lives joyfully. Our hospice staff promote comfort and self-determination, enabling patients to participate in making decisions about their care.

Based in Elizabethtown, Masonic Village Hospice is pleased to offer services to patients in the comfort of their homes throughout Lancaster, Dauphin, Lebanon and Eastern York counties.

Open for Everyone.

Masonic Village Hospice does not discriminate against any person on the basis of race, color, religion, disability, ancestry, national origin, familial status, age, sex, limited English proficiency (LEP) or any other protected status in admission, treatment or participation in its programs, services and activities, or in employment.