Is work ruining your relationship?

Is work ruining your relationship?

Celebrity maths teacher and former accountant Bobby Seagull has teamed up with accountancy charity caba to raise awareness of the impact work stress can have on your relationship.

Being on top of your tasks all the time sounds like a good thing, right? But if you’re glued to emails, drowning in deadlines and thinking about work 24/7, your relationship might be paying the price.

In today’s fast-paced world, our careers can quickly spill over into our personal lives, and sometimes the consequence can be disastrous. In fact, 71% of people report that work stress has led to a break-up or divorce, showing the devasting consequences of demanding jobs.

Long hours, constant pressure, and the mental strain of high-stress careers– like accountancy–are pushing relationships to breaking point.

Warning signs

We’ve all been there – juggling work deadlines, emails, and endless tasks. But when that stress begins to creep into your relationships, the warning signs are hard to ignore. You might tell yourself, “It’s fine, I’m just busy,” but that emotional distance can build up over time.

And it’s all too common. caba’s recent burnout report has shown that over half (54%) of accountants reported that feelings of burnout affected their ability to maintain a healthy worklife balance.

Burnout can make you feel more irritable, anxious or even detached. This can lead to more tension and miscommunication with your partner. Conversations become harder and you may just feel disconnected altogether.

TV presenter and former chartered accountant Bobby Seagull (pictured) knows the struggle all too well, reflecting on his time as a busy accountant: “I know there are short periods where you’re under stress, but when that’s prolonged over a period of months you can really see the impact.”

Considering the impact on his peers’ relationships, he adds: “It’s affected their personal relationships, some of them even permanently where they’ve parted ways with a long-term partner because the burnout meant they couldn’t give their full selves to their partner.”

Love life suffering?

If you find your love life suffering because of work pressures, there are ways to keep things in check.

Mental wellbeing expert at caba, Paul Guess, has some advice on taking back control: “Reclaiming control in the face of work stress means prioritising your mental wellbeing, recognising when to set boundaries, and nurturing the relationships that matter most,” he said. “Balance isn’t about doing it all; it’s about doing what supports you and those you care about.”

Guess advises that you should:

• Set clear boundaries: It’s important to carve out time where work doesn’t take over. Set boundaries at work if necessary and stick to them. Protecting your downtime is crucial for your mental health and your relationship.

• Prioritise quality time with your partner: It can be tough, but even small gestures like cooking dinner together, going for a walk or just talking about your day can help you reconnect. It’s all about finding that balance between work and your personal life.

• Practice open communication: If work is stressing you out, don’t keep it to yourself. Open up to your partner about what’s going on at work and how it’s affecting you. That way they’re not left in the dark, and they can offer support when you need it most.

Seagull commented: “If you’re feeling overwhelmed, the first step is to acknowledge it yourself, then talk to someone about it. After that, see if you can implement any strategies, such as managing your workload or giving yourself small treats like going for a walk, or watching a football game on TV.” The key is to find ways to deal with it rather than bottling it up, because that’s not good for you or anyone around you, he said.

Don’t struggle alone

If stress becomes too much, make sure not to struggle alone. Whether it’s talking to friends, family or seeking professional support, relying on others can make a huge difference.

“Our friends and family, they are a great source of support because they know you. Organisations like caba also have internal resources, online support and trained people. They’re a great touch point if your colleagues or friends and family can’t offer a solution,” he added.

While your job is important, so is your relationship. Try to find balance and to make small changes to stop work stress ruining your relationship.

By setting boundaries, prioritising quality time with your partner and asking for help when needed, you can make sure work stress doesn’t take over your life. Take proactive steps to protect both your career and your relationship –you’ll be better for it in the long run.

• caba supports ACA students, past and present ICAEW members, close family dependents and ICAEW staff. For more go to https://www.caba.org.uk