Dr. Mary Faltz

POWERHOUSE GLOBAL MAGAZINE (PGMAG) INTERVIEW WITH:

DR. MARY FALTZ (DMF)

PGMAG: Dr. Mary, welcome to today’s interview with Lady Anita.

DMF: Thank you for having me, it is lovely meeting you.

PGMAG: Please briefly introduce yourself.

DMF: I am an accidental author, a clinical research scientist, a pharmacist and a single mother of 4. I was born in Dubai, grew up in Luxembourg, lived in Brighton for 11 years and returned to Luxembourg 9 years ago. I am the second born and eldest daughter in a family of 6 children. I put my own father in prison after 16 horrid years of sexual abuse. Facing my own mortality following a diagnosis of a rare and aggressive cancer at the age of 37, I unexpectedly wrote a book that will certainly empower others facing any adversity life throws at them.

It is a powerful testimony of human resilience in the face of life’s cruel punches. Cancer made me want to shout and have a voice that is going to be heard, loud and clear. I am determined to raise awareness of childhood sexual abuse. No child should have to endure the horrible years of pain, shame and guilt that I had to go through. I will make my voice heard for all those who can’t, for all those who have been silenced by fear. Currently, still in chemotherapy until May, I am very grateful to have received the news that I am now cancer free.

PGMAG: With all you have been through and still going through, how do you manage to stay positive?

DMF: Throughout the years, I have sharpened my survival tools in order to get through heavy adversities and rebound time and time again. The positive mindset is definitely a big factor that allows me to remain pragmatic when solving an issue despite the huge emotional burden. One should look for that little positive in the overall negative that will become the main driving force to make it through the turbulence. Nevertheless, we should welcome the feelings of sadness, anger and pain as they have their valid place when the emotional trauma is too big to handle in the beginning.

The ultimate aim is to not let these negative feelings take over and flood our minds, preventing us from moving forward. Once the initial shock is absorbed, one needs to start being pro-active and rationally tackle the issue.

I surround myself with positivity and reject pity, which has no added value other than preventing me from moving forward. Whenever I have self-doubts of not safely getting through the current storm, I am fortunate to have David by my side to reassure me that all will be well. I remind myself with motivational notes on my mirror that I am worthy and can overcome any struggle if I believe I can. I smile at myself in the mirror even when I don’t feel like it as this sends a signal to my brain that ‘all is well’ even when it is not. I consciously watch funny movies and stand-up comedy in order to constantly boost my immune system. With so much strength and love given to me by my children, David and his children, I manage to push through the heavy storm, regardless of any pain I may be experiencing.

PGMAG: If you knew what you know now, what would you do differently?

DMF: I would definitely put myself first. I would never run on an empty tank again with my body and mind totally disconnected from each other. I would remind myself that I must look after myself in order to be the fittest mother for my children. I would be kinder to myself and stop putting pressure on myself in order to adhere to society’s definition of happiness. Gratitude comes with struggles and the more you have to overcome in life, the more you will appreciate the little things that make it all worthwhile.

PGMAG: Please tell us about your new book.

DMF: My book Cruelly Betrayed was written by accident. Upon waking up following a long and complicated surgery, only to learn that my cancer had spread, I was overcome by overwhelming fear. Facing my own mortality, I started typing on my hospital bed. The original aim was to leave my truth in a tangible form with my children in case the cancer wins, and I am not fortunate enough to watch them grow. Effortlessly typing page after page made me realise that a big chapter of my life was not over yet and that I had a lot to say which until then, I was not aware of. These pages have created themselves within 8 weeks during chemo- and radiotherapy. Cancer is only one chapter and without cancer, the other chapters could never have been written. The book was typed in the middle of a still, ongoing heavy storm making it very authentic as feelings of fear, pain, sadness, anger, love and determination are clearly felt in live action within the pages. It is my first draft, and the reader will be immersed in my intimate diary. Cruelly Betrayed will empower people facing any sort of adversity and aims to raise awareness of a heavy taboo topic, that is childhood sexual abuse. The official book launch is on 15th March 2021.

PGMAG: As a woman, what is your message for those who are struggling with low selfesteem?

DMF: Low self-esteem often stems from the unhealthy foundations that were set way back in our childhood. These foundations are the baseline that will determine who we become many decades later. Our personality, our life choices, our self-image and the way we present ourselves to the world are all influenced by that same baseline. My message to those struggling with low self-esteem would be to dig into the past in order to understand where these feelings of low self-worth are originating from. It is important to be aware of the source of the issue in order to be able to create change. I would then suggest taking a pen and paper and write a letter to yourself. Consciously challenging the negative beliefs about yourself such as ‘I am not smart, pretty, good enough’ on paper is very powerful. By trying to rationally justify these beliefs will give you an insight on how real they truly are. You can then list positive aspects about yourself and stick them to your mirror as a daily reminder that you are worthy. Surround yourself with people who appreciate you and push you forward with positivity and spend less time with those that tend to bring you down, consciously or unconsciously. Try and say ‘NO’. The more you practise it, the easier it will become to be assertive when putting your needs first before other people’s feelings.

PGMAG: What are the top three books that change your life?

DMF: I may not be your typical author as I am not a bookworm. I rarely get the time to read and if I am honest, the books that I recall reading are children’s books at bedtime. One of them, being my absolute favourite is Mon Amour by Astrid Desbordes. If I had to choose two more that have impacted my life then I’d list Get your Sh!t together by Sarah Knight and STEP – The Parent’s handbook by Don Dinkmeyer Sr and Jr and Gary McKay.

PGMAG: What is your message for world leaders?

DMF:

No matter the nature of the issue, be it political, environmental, social, economic or medical, world leaders should regularly involve the input from their people. The best ideas come from the most unlikely citizens.

When tackling a particular issue, the governments should brainstorm with people from various social classes, genders, ages and backgrounds in order to elicit ‘out of the box’ thinking. The leaders may be positively surprised about the unexpected, yet very smart ideas aimed at approaching the complicated issue.

PGMAG: What are some of the important steps to being a changemaker in the world?

DMF: I believe that each one of us can be a changemaker. Whether the personal contribution is large or on the lighter side, if we all work together to create change then the overall impact will be extremely powerful. Let’s take ‘childhood sexual abuse’ as an example as it is a topic that is very close to my heart. Prevention can only happen if we all work together by educating and raising awareness of this very common taboo social issue. One person alone trying to do good can have the best ideas aimed at solving a specific issue but if he or she is not supported by the masses then even the best solution to a social problem will be futile.

PGMAG: Finally, what would you say to your younger self?

DMF: I would definitely tell my younger self to give herself some slack. She should simply be herself, love herself and practise self-care on a daily basis. She is worthy. I would tell her to stop trying to prove herself all the time in order to be accepted. She should stand for what she believes in, regardless of the repercussions. She should not succumb to the pressure of society by conforming to its rigid expectations. She is allowed to have an opinion and voice it. With regards to what my younger self has had to endure over the decades, I would tell her that I am immensely proud of her for safely getting through the terrible storm and rising against all odds.

PGMAG: It has been an absolute pleasure to have you as my guest – much appreciated!

DMF: Thank you again for having me Lady Anita, it was a pleasure talking to you.

PGMAG: Please share your links with us.

DMF: My book Cruelly Betrayed will be published on the 15th March 2021 and can be purchased through the general book trade, Amazon and on www.maryfaltz.com Facebook: https://www. facebook.com/Dr-MaryFaltz-103352495019367/ Instagram: dr_mary_faltz Youtube: https://youtu.be/ jjtwPDx9GE0