NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS"

here's what i learned & why i don't recommend it!

By: Andree O. Sibonga

FROM being the butt of the joke in several TikTok skits, the subject of analysis in numerous video essays, or a way you might describe an annoying girl you have encountered, the phrase “Pick-Me” has been gaining traction and usage in the last couple of years It seems like time and time again, there is always a recurring phenomenon that young girls start rejecting typically girly activities or interests in order to have some individuality or social superiority. We may think that this is a recent case, but history says otherwise! Some of the Pick-Me Girl’s earlier forms were the 1950’s “Greaser Girl,” who rose as a protest against the fervent conservatism of the period, and the 80’s and 90’s “Grunge Model,” known for her unwavering stance on self-expression and societal norms And if you were an active Tumblr user during the platform’s heyday in the early 2010’s, young girls of our generation (including me) have fallen victim to the “I’m not like other girls!” mindset.

Characterized as a quirky and fun girl who prefer Converse over high heels, watching Netflix instead of partying, and isn’t afraid to *dramatic gasp* eat pizza? Being not like other girls was something that I as a tween with low self-esteem resonated with But what started out as lighthearted humor in memes, searching for my individuality and my uniqueness from other girls negatively developed into unhealthy comparisons to feed the illusion of my superiority from the “other girls.” I did not realize back then that me wanting to separate myself from conventionally girly things rooted in my own insecurities, and that instead what I was doing was counterproductive and even damaging in the long run Besides the superficial setbacks I face now like not knowing how to do my own makeup, having a hard time figuring out my style, and many more, my past internalized misogyny has not only made me more distant with the female figures in my life, but I feel like I missed out on a lot of potential female friendships and experiences.

However, my “I'm Not Like Other Girls” era offers me another perspective on today’s Pick-me girls Instead of looking at them mockingly in the exaggerated caricatures that these TikTok creators have created, I look at these young girls with sympathy and hope that they will get over this phase soon. In an effort to avoid misogyny, girls like me go through this phase, but in doing so, they end up supporting it. This is due to the fact that they are supporting the idea that femininity and people who engage in it are inferior A critical first step in our feminist path is realizing that the patriarchy actively promotes the idea that femininity is inferior with the goal of maintaining the social subordination of those who present as feminine. So ladies, let’s make it a point to be unapologetic and unafraid when indulging ourselves in all things girly and/or feminine. Wear pink, do your make-up, strap on your highest heels, and be the best woman you can be!